considerable grace

Oh, we had a fun, hot, water-filled afternoon celebrating the last day of school!





When Sophie was in her last French class for the year, Ella and I got to visit one of our dearest friends and her Goldens. I’d never seen a dog in a hammock before!



In addition to domestic-diva-joys, I was very excited to read the thoughtful IX Marks critique and endorsement for “Redeeming Church Conflicts.” What a grace to be recommended as keeping God’s Word primary, the gospel central, humility necessary, God’s glory precious, and an eternal perspective as our one orientation! Thank you, Matt Smethurst and IX Marks.

Off to Vegas in the morning! Can’t wait to be with the women of Spring Meadows Church.

Blessings and g'nite,
Tara B.

A few minutes ago, Ella totally cracked me up when she said:

"I’m as sticky as a lollipop!"

And she was. She was also colored a pretty dark shade of green and black because she apparently got into some markers and decided her face, hands, arms, and legs needed some redecorating:



All of that happened when the girls were supposed to be enjoying a little movie night while I tackled the utter chaos of my office:



Yes. Yes. I post such pictures every six months or so, don’t I? It’s just the way life goes when things get busy. I can keep our living space relatively organized and clutter-free, but somewhere, sometimes, there just has be the give of a little chaos. This apparently was a pretty hard stretch, however, since THIS was my calendar as of tonight:



(That’s MARCH in case you can’t read it. March! And today is May 15th. That’s how behind I was re: tackling receipt filing, shredding, etc. in my office.)

Still ... it was a great day. Lots o' relaxed, Momma-Daughters, almost-summer, flip-flop buying, happy times:



AND my office is back to order (which is a huge relief to me).

I’ll sign off with one last funny Ella-ism from the day. When asked Q16 in the Kids' Catechism ("Who were our first parents?"), she responded:

"Adam and Evil."

Ahhhhhhh. So close. So close.

Hope your day was a blessed one too!

G'nite,
Tara B.

This is my dedication for Redeeming Church Conflicts:

From Tara

This book is dedicated to my elder and friend, Gary Friesen—
thank you for forgiving and loving me
as we walked through the excruciatingly
painful fire of conflict in the church.

And also to my husband, Fred, and daughters, Sophia and Ella,
to my coauthor, Dave,
and my elder and his wife, Jeff and Amy Laverman—
thank you for helping me to forgive and to love.

I tell a little piece of the story behind that dedication on today’s blog over at RedeemingChurchConflicts.com:

Church Conflicts Often Reveal Deep, Complex Pain

How blessed we were by Ken Sande’s generous offer to record an endorsement video for “Redeeming Church Conflicts.” A number of other endorsements are also included: Dennis Johnson (Westminster CA), Timothy George (Beeson Divinity School), Glenn Waddell (Birmingham Theological Seminary), Bob Kellemen (Biblical Counseling Coalition), Andrew Zeller (sangre de Christo Seminary), and Nancy Guthrie (author and speaker).



(PS—If you enjoy the video, would you please consider posting it on your blog or FaceBook account? That would be super! Thanks!)

We enjoyed many still photos on our videotaping day. Brooke Moore Photography always goes above and beyond the call to get the shot. We are thrilled with our new professional headshot photos:



And chuckling over some silly/poetic shots the photographer wanted to take ...





But our favorites are the backstage pics. They really give you a sweet peek into our day. You’ll see Ken Sande working hard to prepare:



And the team gathering at the beginning of the day to pray:



May God be glorified! We did our best. Now we entrust our feeble efforts to the Lord—-may He use them for His glory and the building up of His Bride.



G'nite and God bless!
Dave Edling & Tara Barthel

PS
If you like the trailer, please consider sharing it on your blog, FaceBook, Twitter account, etc. That would be a huge help to us as we are trying to get the word out. Thanks!

So ... just in case you were curious how my terrifically challenging day of accompanying three violin recitals went ...

I did OK overall, but I made the absolute worst mistake I have ever made accompanying anything at any time in thirty years of accompanying. (I started accompanying choirs and soloists as an eighth grader.) All of the classical/hardest music went fine, but I missed an entire PAGE of music on a fiddle song. The poor kid was SO left hanging! But I had no idea where he was in the music (usually I can jump to wherever a soloist is, and believe you me, I was jumping all over the place today) because I absolutely MISSED that there was a third page. Grrrrr. That’s life, I guess. But I hope I never do that again.

Sophie played her concerto well. If you’d like to hear a nice rendition of the Vivaldi Violin Concerto in a minor performed by an eight year-old, you can see the video here:



I’m completely fried now and Fred has a work gig, so the girls and I are settling in for a night of cuddles and inactivity.

Hope your Saturday was a blessed one!

Your friend,
Tara B.

Words just fail to describe how much I admire and enjoy these dear friends:



They are true Proverbs 31 women:

- Excellent
- Doing good, not harm
- Working with willing hands
- Dressed with strength
- Opening her hands to the poor and needy
- Clothed with strength and dignity
- Opening her mouth with wisdom
- The teaching of kindness is on her tongue

I want to be like them when I grow up! (And two of them are younger than me. )

"Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."

Back when Sophia was not much older than Ella is now, I started the tradition of “Beach Day” at our church’s co-op. It’s basically an excuse to wear your swimsuit to school and have extra treats and games—and Sophie looks forward to it all year.

And today? She pretty much prepped ALL of Beach Day. She baked cupcakes—every single step—by herself and then decorated them with the most adorable little swimmy bears and fish:



Then she organized all of the presents, crafts, and beach towels (and the Luau music and CD player) and loaded everything into the car.

I have to say ... I LIKE this big girl daughter thing a lot! It really fits my energy level today to just lie around and watch Sophie pull everything together. And although Ella doesn’t know it yet, she’s going to LOVE Beach Day:



G'nite & God bless,
Tara B.

PS
A pic from the inaugural Beach Day. Soph is right in the middle. I think Ella might be wearing that swimsuit tomorrow ...

We had the funniest experience at the zoo today. At some point in the conversation, we were discussing Ella’s absolute FAVORITE thing (garbage trucks) and I made the “beep beep beep” backup sound of a garbage truck and OH MY STARS this peacock who had been hanging around us throughout our entire picnic lunch just went BERZERK with mating behaviors. Maybe it was my bright pink sun hat and maybe I just hit his favorite pitch spot on, but he was strutting, quaking, fanning his feathers, and emitting a very loud high-pitched cry. Over and over again. At first we thought it was just coincidental, but I could absolutely get him to talk back to us and fan his feathers on cue any time I wanted:





So that was a fun part of our day! As was our incredibly messy but oh-so-satisfying sand art craft:



I just LOVE the end of the school year. It’s so great to LONG to be done—to appreciate the gorgeous weather, wish for something that will actually happen rather quickly (even if every day FEELS like a hundred years), and anticipate a change in routine/schedule. I’m so totally ready to be done with school for the year! And Sophie feels the same, I know.

Happy Wednesday,
Tara B.

So ... way back many months ago, I did something very foolish. I committed to serving as the studio accompanist for Sophia’s violin teacher (whom we adore!) without first clarifying exactly what that meant. (How many pieces? How difficult are the pieces? etc.) Truth be told, although I love working with young people and, in general, I love accompanying, committing to this task was not wise. There is just WAY too much music and way too HARD of music for me to 100% master in time for the four hour rehearsal tonight and the five hours of recitals on Saturday. I’m embarrassed to say the least, but as of this afternoon, I was also really scared.

Fred helped me to get to the bottom of my fear by patiently bearing with my inappropriate emotions of anger and frustration. (Fearful people often look like angry people.) And then asking really good questions. Like this one:

"What are you so afraid of, Tara?"

And then it hit me ... I wasn’t afraid of letting these children down or disappointing our teacher. Deep down, I just didn’t want to look bad. Can you believe it? How selfish! How self-centered! How NOT loving of neighbor or living for God’s glory.

As soon as I saw the darkness of my heart, God helped me to repent and from that point forward, everything was much better. Yes, I still needed to honor my commitment, even to my own detriment (see Psalm 15:4). But rather than thinking about how hard all of this is for (poor ol' pity pot) me, I dedicated myself to remembering how hard and scary recitals can be for anyone, but especially children. Every ounce of my fiber was poured out to lead, comfort, coach, and accompany them well; not so I retain my sterling (hah!) reputation as a solid accompanist, but so that these children and their families can enjoy their music.

Was it a terrifying on the inside but OK on the outside rehearsal today? Yes. Absolutely. I had to actually sight read one (really fast!) piece (with some seriously exposed piano parts), but we got through it just fine. Ditto for pretty much all of the rest of the music too—I had to concentrate every beat of every measure because I was practically sight reading 90% of it. But God was very gracious to help me to avoid most klunkers and achieve a solid, supportive accompaniment for the students.

Will I ever make this same mistake again? (Commit to accompanying something without understanding the depth and breadth of what is being asked of me.) I think not. This was a true wake up call for me and a good lesson learned. I would be very surprised if I ever got myself into such a pickle again in the future.

Oh, and my brain is completely freaking out. I haven’t worked this hard at music in YEARS. I’m sure that entire areas of my brain that have been dormant for a long time are now all lit up. And my subconscious mind is poking me and wondering, “What was all THAT about?!?” Ah. Well. Time to try to turn it off now and get some shuteye.

Hope your day was a blessed one!

Your friend,
Tara B.

During our long cuddle and talk times today, Sophia and I discussed many topics. One of my favorite nuggets from the day had to do with the topic of how greater freedom brings greater responsibility. I was giving her a bunch of hypotheticals (which she just LOVES) and she was sharing about different situations she’s been in with other children her age. In one retelling she told me:

"I tried to avert my ears, Mom."

And I thought to myself, "What a fun turn of phrase. And a wise choice."

STRICKEN, SMITTEN AND AFFLICTED

Stricken, smitten, and afflicted,
See Him dying on the tree!
’Tis the Christ by man rejected;
Yes, my soul, ’tis He, ’tis He!
’Tis the long expected prophet,
David’s Son, yet David’s Lord;
Proofs I see sufficient of it:
’Tis a true and faithful Word.

Tell me, ye who hear Him groaning,
Was there ever grief like His?
Friends through fear His cause disowning,
Foes insulting his distress:
Many hands were raised to wound Him,
None would interpose to save;
But the deepest stroke that pierced Him
Was the stroke that Justice gave.

Ye who think of sin but lightly,
Nor suppose the evil great,
Here may view its nature rightly,
Here its guilt may estimate.
Mark the Sacrifice appointed!
See Who bears the awful load!
’Tis the Word, the Lord’s Anointed,
Son of Man, and Son of God.

Here we have a firm foundation,
Here the refuge of the lost.
Christ the Rock of our salvation,
Christ the Name of which we boast.
Lamb of God for sinners wounded!
Sacrifice to cancel guilt!
None shall ever be confounded
Who on Him their hope have built.

There were just so many great comments and insights during the Q&A for Grace Redeemer’s Women’s Retreat! I only wish I could have enjoyed learning from those women even more. What depth. What patience with my weaknesses! What faith in the Son of God and love for His Bride. Truly, ladies, I was honored to be with you all!

And since so many of you noted it on your feedback cards, here is C.S. Lewis quote that I paraphrased when we talked about how risky it is to love:

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless–it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.”

Love is risky, to be sure. But to never love? To never risk? That is a darkness and pain too great to bear.

I’ll leave the final word with the very Word of God:

"Perfect love drives out fear." 1 John 4:18

Amen and Amen. And now, I will try to “lie down and sleep in peace, for God alone causes me to dwell in safety” (Psalm 4:8 ). 5:45AM wakeup call for a 6:20AM departure. East Coast time! My Montana bod says, “Ouch!” But my Momma heart is eager to get home to care for my sick hubby and kiddos.

G'nite, all. God bless and sweet dreams—
Tara B.

We haven’t yet received any REAL photos from Brooke Moore Photography, but Fred did catch two with our little point and shoot camera. The first was taken when Ken Sande did a roundtable discussion with Dave and me:



The second was from our roundtable discussion with my pastor, Jason Barrie, an elder in our Presbytery, Dave and me. Fred thinks we look like a newscast team. Guess that makes me the weather girl:



Off to bed now to try to sleep for a couple of hours. It’s after 3AM! Crazy. But that’s what happens when one plane hits another on the runway. MAJOR mechanical delays! I pray the Lord will help me to calm down and actually sleep.

Blessings and g'nite!
Or, I guess, g'morning!

Your friend,
Tara B.

What a sweet surprise! We came home to a giant box of beautifully wrapped gifts for Sophia and Ella from my event this coming weekend at Grace Redeemer Church in Teaneck, New Jersey:



How thoughtful! Thanks so much, Cedar (my event host). Can’t wait to be with you all!