considerable grace

Kevin DeYoung quotes Charles Spurgeon and makes me cringe (and pray that I will speak LESS!):

"Above all things beware of letting your tongue outrun your brains. Guard against a feeble fluency, a garrulous prosiness, a facility of saying nothing ... My brethren, it is a hideous gift to possess, to be able to say nothing at extreme length."

OK.

6PM. Fred should be home any minute to relieve the brilliant and loving C.M. who has been caring for our girls today.

I rewarded myself with a “check one blog” break from tackling a really (REALLY!) hard re-work on Dave’s and my book—and with just ONE CLICK away from Urban Servant, I was ensorceled by (and crying over) THIS blog:

Molly Piper

Am I just the last person on the planet to know how amazing this young woman is? Or, more accurately, how amazing GOD is as He ministers through this young woman?

Seriously. Click through. I double dog dare ya. Especially if you’re pregnant (Hi BrittleCrazyGlass!) or suffering (too many friends to even obliquely reference).

Be forewarned, though ... if you have a child in Heaven, you should grab some Kleenex first. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. (And I just read back through July 29th or so and then I’m TRYING to be disciplined and get back to work by telling myself I’ve bookmarked it and I can read read read more on another date.)

Enjoy. Truly. And enjoy the cry.

Love ya,
Tara B.

In a way I haven’t experienced since staying up 'til 4AM reading Ghost Soldiers in a hotel bathroom (so as to not inconvenience my co-instructor and hotel roommate way back when I was still on staff with Peacemaker Ministries and we were teaching at an Advanced Training Practicum) ... I cannot put this book down!

The Help

The characters are absolutely FASCINATING. None of that annoying, stock-character, try to get us to believe a person is boring by using the word “boring” to describe them, horribly-written way. I not only feel like I can actually SEE and KNOW these people—I want to know them MORE. I wish I could chat with them in real life. I feel like I AM chatting with them in real life.

The story line? STUNNINGLY ENGAGING. Just like Ghost Soldiers—just enough build; just enough resolution; just enough “keep me on the edge of my seat oh my STARS what is going to happen-ness” that I don’t want to stop reading. Ever.

The TRUTH behind the fiction? Heart-breaking. Accurate. I keep thinking, "This is going to be an excellent book to read with Sophia and Eleanor one day because it’s one thing to listen to Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., to read writings, to talk and discuss in the abstract. This book TAKES you into this period of our country’s history that I do NOT want to romanticize or mis-characterize. I don’t. This is a hugely awful truth of our country’s history, yet heroes did abound, and I want to do my best to help my daughters to have an appropriate understanding of it, inasmuch as that is possible for three white women living in Montana.

OH! And this book is SO OVER-THE-TOP-ENJOYABLE-TO-READ that I simply can’t figure out how to tell you how great it is so far. Well, maybe this will illustrate my point ... So well written. Such a SPOT-ON turn of phrase. Such good use of words, timing, humor, pathos. That I am starting not only to underline (A NOVEL! I do this for theology/substance of course, but a NOVEL? YUP!) ... but I am rewriting entire sections in the back of the book simply so I can read and re-read the lines because they are so (delightful. painful. convicting. beautifully, perfectly phrased. cringe-inducing. insightful.) perfectly crafted. worthy of reading again and again.

So I guess that’s pretty much my strong encouragement that:

- If you love to read, but you haven’t really “lost” yourself in a great book for a LONG time;

- If most modern fiction makes you pretty much gag because of its inanity and formulaity;

- If you strive to love the good and hate evil and you know that living life in this fallen world is neither easy nor “clean” ...

Run, don’t walk, to get yourself a copy of The Help by Kathryn Stockett.

It’s cheap on Amazon ($13.72)—but I tried to be all non-computer-living and non-internet-driven and buy my copy in an actual bookstore with that wonderful-reminds-me-of-visits-with-Samara-coffee-smell because I had a 40% off coupon for Borders, so I think I ended up paying around $15.

It’s totally worth it. I’m lovin' it. And I think you might too.

Don’t forget—if you actually BUY from Amazon by clicking on the link, I think I get like $.03 or something. (I really have no idea what the actual amount it—but every quarter or so, Amazon puts a few dollars in my bank account, so be aware of that, you know, just in the interest of full disclosure.)

But maybe you could go to a REAL store and smell REAL coffee like me and get it there instead?

Whatever the case—if you’d like to enjoy a good book, I recommend this one. HEARTILY.

And with that, I’m going back to my book.

Happy Saturday to you!

Your friend,
Tara B.

I was blessed with three very interesting speaking event invitations yesterday—including one in Landstuhl, Germany! Very fun.

I was also blessed with a debilitating headache that morphed into a true migraine (with nausea and all) by the afternoon. I say blessed because there is nothing like excruciating pain to make you SO VERY GRATEFUL that you don’t have excruciating pain more often. (At least that’s what I tell myself anyway.)

Unpacking was thus, slow, but we got through it. Soph was a HUGE help, especially chasing Ella around. (BTW—Ella now thinks the word “Cocoa” (the name of our niece’s cat) is the word for CAT and the word for DOG, pretty much her word for cute fuzzy animal that she can try to pet. “Cocoa! Cocoa! Cocoa!” Lilikoi doesn’t really know what to make of it.)

Today is a day chock-full of scheduled things, but I’ll try to come up for air one of these days. I may also try to run out to a bookstore and buy PalmTreePundit’s recommendation, The Help. It looks great! And I’m re-reading Ed Welch’s, Addictions: A Banquet in the Grave with a friend. So I’m trusting that will be an edifying few weeks together.

Last (slightly random) note: Matthew Smith has a guest blog over at Challies.com that I encourage you to check out—especially if you are feeling particularly unworthy this morning. Failing as a Christian? Failing as a wife, mother, husband, pastor, friend?

“Come you weary ...”

Let all of your dreams of “fitness” be dashed and “replace them by a vision of a Savior who was able, full of pity joined with power, to stand and save” ... yes, save. Even a wretched sinner like YOU (and me). Amen & Amen

Confessions of a Failed Worshipper

(Oh! And there’s a SCREAMIN' deal on his two albums at the end of the post too—but just for a limited time. If I didn’t already own them, I’d buy 'em at these prices. What a deal.)

Happy Tuesday!

Yours,
Tara B.

What a generous and wonderful offering!

"What is the Gospel" by Greg Gilbert Available for FREE This Month Only

Sophia and Ella were ensorceled by all of the love and attention and “conversations” they with Uncle John, Aunt Penny, and cousins Calvin and Lucy ...



Now Ella and I are happily cuddling along (with her warm, soft hands encircling my face to keep us eye to eye and nose to nose as we sing and giggle and live and love). I’m a blessed woman.

A few more adventures in the convertible:



And the rest of my pack is up on the top of a mountain somewhere nearby watching the fireworks over the sea.

Heading to bed now—
Hope you’re all doing well!

G'nite,
Tara B.

Would you please join me in praying for funding and resources to translate my video series and Judy’s and my book ("Living the Gospel in Relationships" and “Peacemaking Women”) into Spanish?

I’ve received inquiries for years as to whether either is available in Spanish, but it seems like lately, they are picking up in number and frequency.

* * * * WHOOPS! * * * * UPDATE! * * * * Apparently, a group in Peru has already signed a contract with our publisher (Baker books) to translate Peacemaking Women into Spanish! (Thanks for the update, dear BrittleCrazyGlassMommaToBeMolly!) I’m so happy to hear this news. So now we’re just praying for funding for the dubbing into Spanish of Living the Gospel in Relationships—-and for a REALLY fast translator.

Thanks, friends!

Blessings,
Tara B.

PS
Peacemaker Ministries does have a Spanish Website and a number of their resources have been translated into Spanish and other languages too.

PPS
I really hope your week is going well. We’re having a super fun time vising my sister and her Fred in San Francisco. We spent the day at Great America yesterday and today I get to have MY vacation by organizing and cleaning my sister’s house. FUN! Yes, yes, we all dance to the beat of our own drummer, don’t we?

You can see more pics if you’re interested by friending me on FaceBook.

TakeYourVitaminZ linked to this need over at DesiringGod.org and I’ve emailed Fred to ask if we can give:

The 1% Campaign

DesiringGod.org is one of the websites that I recommend quite often because of the depth of its resources. To me, this request for financial support is not out of line. If you use their site, I hope you’ll consider this.

Worth the read:

Hooked on Gadgets and Paying a Mental Price

(HT: Challies.com)

By the way ...

The only reason why I could enjoy so much sweet time with a friend is because the love of my life made the way ...

Caring for baby Ella. Holding down the home front. Not only not complaining about me being gone so much ... but happily ENCOURAGING me to be gone so much.

Oh, Fred. My truest, bestest friend. Thank you! I love you more than any person in all the world—other than God Himself.

Yours,
Tara B.

PS
Fred took a cell phone pic of Ella enjoying a bath one of these weekend nights. Fun fun! That’s one happy baby.

"Dream not of noble service elsewhere wrought,
The simple duty that awaits thy hand
Is God’s voice uttering a divine command;
Life’s common duties build what saints have thought.

In wonder – workings of some bush aflame
Men look for God, and fancy Him concealed;
But in earth’s common things He stands revealed,
While grass and stars and flowers spell out His name."

(The Quiet Things, by Minot Judson Savage, 1882)

HT: QuietResting

I just found out that Borders will give your 12-and-under child a free book if they read ten books this summer. Seems like a good deal so I printed out the form for Soph:

Free Book From Borders

Looking for a truly unique Mother’s Day gift? Just enjoy astoundingly beautiful art? If so, be sure to pop over to Taylor Lynde’s Online Listings—his plein air landscapes are so lovely that I look regularly just to be edified.

And WOW! Does he have a beautiful listing right now. I have his permission to post a picture here so that you can enjoy it (but of course I also encourage you to bid on it too):

Spring Pavane (18X24) by Taylor Lynde

Seeing this beautiful painting reminds me of a gentle rebuke I received from a dear friend when Sophie was just four years old. She actually didn’t SAY anything to rebuke me. She just lived her life in front of me, and that included her having her young boys look calmly and slowly at a reproduction of a masterpiece and then talking about it. At the time, Sophie and I were having a blast playing the matching games in Child Size Masterpieces and she was actually quite adept at recognizing certain paintings by name and certain artists too.

"Mommy! It’s a Renoir" really happened to us at The Art Institute of Chicago:



(Actually this is a Gauguin.)

It was great! But by my friend’s example, I was also reminded that even though knowing the names of various paintings, artistic styles, and artists can be super fun, there’s much more to art than “facts & figures.” True art (be it music, dance, sculpture, painting, drawing, architecture) points us to God because it reflects His beauty. And it is good to slow down and just enjoy. Reflect. Contemplate. Gratefully acknowledge.

That’s why I’m so blessed to own some paintings by Taylor Lynde. Not only do they remind me of my best friend and the happiest season of my motherhood years (when Samara and TJ lived just down the road from us and her calm, happy, wise ways got to rub off on me pretty much every day), they remind me of God and the Home He is preparing for His children.

TJ’s art always has an element of redemption in it. And I never tire of meditating on the details (photos are impossibly weak at capturing the real colors, brush strokes, varying depth of paint on the canvas; you have to really SEE art “live” to really see it), but also on the “big picture” when you stand back and just enjoy.

Hope this post is a blessing to you. And hope you’ll visit Taylor Lynde’s Online Listings and consider bringing some art into your home. It was as great day for us “common folk” when he began listing some smaller works online rather than only selling exclusively in galleries.

Happy Monday to you!

Yours,
Tara B.

I enjoyed so many of his posts, that I’m temped to just link to David Murray’s blog and say, “Read backwards for awhile!”

But just to tempt you by the titles, here are some favorites from just the past week or so:

- Two Essential Traits of Great Leaders

- "To Do" (Today) or Tomorrow — Let’s Make Better Mistakes Tomorrow

- Successful Ministry? Or Happy Marriage?

I could keep going, but I have to scoot now. So just go backwards and read for awhile!

Blessed Saturday to you,
Tara B.

Practical Shepherding is staying strong as one of the few blogs I read on a regular basis. This wise and experienced pastor is ministering to many other pastors, I am sure. But as a sheep, I love it too! Not only because it (hopefully) helps me to be a better sheep (and help / encourage / pray for my leaders), but also because the lessons are so often transferable to situations in my own lay-person life.

Take this post:

What Can I Pray When Praying with the Sick in the Hospital?

Yes, this is great advice for pastors. But isn’t it great advice for ALL Christians? I mean, how many of us have been designated the “pray-er” in a situation, often because we’re the only “token religious person” in the family?

What great advice. Pray the gospel. Pray it in the morning and the evening. Pray it for your husband and kids. Boss and coworkers. College roommate. Nieces and nephews. Pray the gospel for your daughter-in-law, mother-in-law, neighbor, bank clerk, friend.

When all else fails and when nothing is failing at all—pray the gospel.

Thanks, Pastor Croft, for this timely and helpful reminder.

If you are looking for a literature class for your high school student (sophomore or above), or beginning in the fall, for your 7th or 8th grade student, I strongly urge you to consider Melodee Mattson’s interactive online class:

Captive Thought Tutorials

You can read all of her “official” information by clicking through to her website above, but I also wanted to go a little “behind the scenes” and ask her some friend-to-friend questions.

(Melodee is one of those young women in my life who I truly aspire to be more like—a spiritual mother to me in many ways, even though I was in high school the year she was born. Ahhhhh, maturity. It’s not a chronological age, is it?)

So, without further ado, here is my first BLOG INTERVIEW with the lovely and gracious (oh! and SINGLE—just in case any of you have any godly young men in your life and we could do a little matchmaking too ), Melodee Mattson ...

How did Captive Thought Tutorials (CTT) come about?
I still have to pinch myself sometimes! Four years ago when I was applying to the Jack Kent Cooke Foundation for a graduate scholarship I stated my desire to start an online literature tutorial service for homeschoolers - and I wondered if that would appear as a worthy goal amid all the applications of those wanting to become doctors and scientists and concert pianists. By God’s grace, the Foundation thought so, and here I am four years later, actually living out my goal.

The seed of CTT is my own experience in online classes as a high schooler. For four years I studied under men who inspired and challenged me to self-motivated study of philosophy, history, theology, literature, Latin, logic, rhetoric, and more. They instilled in me a life-long passion for learning, and I’ve wanted to follow in their footsteps ever since.

What kind of teacher do you aspire to be?
As a student, I have endeavored over the years to identify what makes a good teacher. I’ve distilled it down to this: the best teachers have a passion for their subject matter and for their students. Love for subject matter isn’t enough - I’ve been in classes where the teacher was very enthusiastic, but would have been just as enthusiastic lecturing to an empty room. Establishing a relationship is key. Even in the confines of the online medium, I strive to get to know my students as much as possible. Sharing in their lives allows me to truly share my passion for literature.

As a Christian teacher, it is also my goal to point my students to Christ - for the ultimate end of all study is to “glorify God and enjoy him forever!”

What is your approach to studying literature?
In grad school I learned the cardinal sin of literary criticism. I was told to never forget that characters are “literary constructs.” Never, ever talk about them as though they were real people. Now you know why no one reads literary criticism. My approach is almost exactly the opposite. Imagine Jane Eyre is your friend, I say to my students. How would you counsel her? How would you offer her the gospel in her situation?

Regular readers of your blog are familiar with CCEF. They’ve developed Jesus' analogy of the “three trees” (the two trees of Luke 6:43-45 plus the third “tree,” the cross) to apply to counseling. We are so prone deal with problems on the behavioral, or “fruit” level, rather than the heart, or “root” level. I think literature is a great arena for “practicing” the principles of getting to the root. Authors give us lots of info about what characters do, and generally give lots of clues about why they do it. Piecing together these clues gives us a picture of the human heart. And once you get there, you find that it always applies to our own hearts, too! This is why I see literature as training ground for life.

And finally, I love the art of story-telling: the complexity of the written word and the breathtaking skill with which great authors weave their characters and themes into a united whole. I want my students to learn to appreciate literature on this level as well.

What are the benefits of online education?
With the development of online conference technology, parents have more choice than ever when designing an educational program for their children and aren’t bound by what’s available locally. In my own high school career, I studied under qualified and passionate teachers in classes of a quality that couldn’t be found in my local co-op. (Not to denigrate local co-ops by any means! They were instrumental, too.)

Most importantly, live online classes give a forum for true class discussion that isn’t available when your homeschooler reads the books alone. High schoolers, especially, need to be involved in an exchange of ideas about the literature they read, and online classes enable them to do so with other students all over the country.

What are the possible drawbacks of online education?
A weekly online class does not have the same external motivation/accountability as a class that has daily assignments. The medium naturally challenges the students to take ownership over their education and be self-motivated. Students are given an entire week’s assignment and must divide the work as necessary to get it done in time. This can be great training, but can also be difficult for students who are not used to independent work.

Online education simulates the dynamics of a classroom, but it is easier to be anonymous and quiet - or even do something else during class, like playing on facebook! While I try to encourage all students to participate, it is harder to do than when I am face-to-face with the students. Once again, this challenges the students to “take ownership” and push themselves to participate, but it requires more self-discipline than in a flesh-and-blood classroom.

Why is literature study important?
I believe the study of literature is vitally important because it connects us with story. Eugene Peterson requires his theology students to study literature for this reason:

"The importance of poetry and novels is that the Christian life involves the use of the imagination, after all, we are dealing with the invisible. And, imagination is our training in dealing with the invisible, making connections, looking for plot and character.[…] The arts reflect where we live, we live in narrative, we live in story. We don’t live as exegetes."

We live in God’s story of redemptive history - creation, fall, redemption, and consummation. I think good literature serves as the illustrations of this story, a close-up view of particular aspects of human nature and the human condition.

What ages are your classes for?
Currently I’m offering two classes for sophomore and above. Next fall I’m hoping to add an Intro to Lit class for 7-8th grade.

How can we prepare our younger children for your classes?
Encourage them to read, read, read! An ability to enjoy literature is a foundational step to learning how to appreciate and analyze it on a more intellectual level.

Writing is also a key component to my classes, and before students take my high school classes, they should already have begun learning how to structure an essay and develop an argument.

Our family loves to read out loud together. A lot. And I know your family read a lot too. What recommendations would you have for good family-read-out-loud books for families with young kids (5 and under), ages 6-10, 11+?
Reading aloud is such a wonderful family activity! I’m a little rusty on some of my younger kids' literature, but here are just a few favorites for self-reading or reading aloud ...

Ages 5 and under:
- So What If It’s Raining? (Picture book)
- Stand Back, Said the Elephant, I’m Going to Sneeze (Picture book)
- Amelia Bedelia

Ages 6-10
- The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis
- The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien
- Betsy-Tacy by Maude Hart Lovelace (This is a series of 10 books set in the early 1900s, taking Betsy from kindergarten all the way through marriage. I recommend the first 4 four for young readers. The high school and beyond books are delightful as well, but Betsy is…well…boy crazy in high school, so I recommend caution there.)
- The Little House books by Laura Ingalls Wilder
- Redwall by Brian Jacques
- The Light Princess by George Macdonald
- The Tale of Despereaux by Kate DiCamillo

Ages 11+
- A Little Princess by Frances Hodgson Burnett
- Little Women by Louisa May Alcott
- A Girl of the Limberlost by Gene Stratton Porter
- Where The Red Fern Grows and Summer of the Monkeys by Wilson Rawls
- Treasure Island by Robert Louis Stevenson
- Ivanhoe by Sir Walter Scott
- A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle
- Anne of Green Gables by Lucy Maud Montgomery
- Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain
- Beauty by Robin McKinley (A retelling of the Beauty and the Beast story)
- Mara, Daughter of the Nile and Master Cornhill by Eloise Jarvis McGraw (good historical fiction)
- The Eagle of the Ninth by Rosemary Sutcliff (and her other titles!) (more great historical fiction)
- Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson
- The Great Brain books by John Dennis Fitzgerald

I’m new to homeschooling and I’d love to hear your thoughts on homeschooling in general … things to avoid; things that worked well. Happy memories. Hard memories. Good prep for undergrad and grad school? Weaknesses? Etc. etc.
I loved almost every moment of my homeschooling experience! Well, except for studying grammar, which resulted in tears most of the time. How ironic that I later fell in love with grammar and as I type this I’m wearing a t-shirt that says “Bad grammar makes me [sic].” Here’s something to encourage all of you homeschool moms - even your kid’s weakest area, the one that causes friction and frustration and tears, could turn out to be one of their strongest subjects.(For me the grammar turnaround happened when I began to study Latin. Everything just “clicked” when I learned Latin grammar in a systematic fashion.)

My best homeschooling memory is of “opening time.” Every day started with reading scripture, practicing memory work, and Mom reading aloud to us. I love that read-aloud time wasn’t relegated to “if we have time later,” but was an up-front priority. After opening time I would tackle my work and practice my instruments, and when I was finished - free time! I remember having a huge amount of free time as I kid, and I was never bored. I filled it with LOTS of reading, plus hours and hours of imaginative play inspired by that reading, often with homeschooling friends in my neighborhood.

The most important thing I learned as a homeschooler was how to learn from books, especially original sources as opposed to textbooks. This, more than anything, prepared me for undergraduate and graduate studies. To learn how to learn is an achievement that will pay dividends the rest of your life - I believe it is more important than focusing on all the information your kids are supposed to know.

(Thanks, Melodee! Love—tkb)

If you’ve ever thought about publishing a book, Tim Challies has an exciting announcement for you:

Announcing Cruciform Press

Proposals and manuscripts are invited! I encourage you to check it out. The men involved in the creation of this company sound top-notch. And of course, we’re huge Challies.com fans around here.

Blessings to you as you seek to serve through the written word!

Yours,
Tara B.

Tim Challies has a great offer up at his blog:

Become a Friend of The Blog

For $39 you get a TON of great resources immediately, the chance to win a Kindle, and I’m sure more great offers will come soon too.

I was going to buy the Tim Keller DVD series anyway, so that alone practically pays for the subscription.

Well done, Challies.com! Hope you all enjoy—

Yours,
Tara B.

PS
This is the list of current goodies:

- A $10 gift certificate from Westminster Books
- A $20 gift certificate from ChristianAudio (for the first 250 Friends only so don’t dawdle! They will go fast.)
- You choose 4 new books or DVDs from Zondervan (including Tim Keller’s new DVD Gospel in Life)
- A one-year subscription to Ligonier Ministries' Tabletalk magazine
- Album downloads from bands and artists you like (four to start, more to come)
- Deals and savings from other stores ...

Chris Brauns is guest posting over at TakeYourVitaminZ and his post is worth the read:

Have You Ever Made a Big Deal Out Of Something That Wasn’t a Big Deal? Read this post. It might help you to drop stuff in the future.

We’re doing OK here. Kind of a long night, but today’s a new day!

Great news: The vet said that Lili did not decline further in the night. They’re going to keep her on fluids and gradually introduce foods and see how she does.

This morning Soph and I wrestled through subdividing some complex rhythms in a violin piece. Like so many musicians, she plays very well by ear, but understanding—truly understanding—the math underneath the notes? That takes lots o' hard work. But oh! It sure feels great when you GET IT and don’t have to wander through that mire of “just guessing” but never feeling very secure.

Anything worth doing takes effort, that’s for sure.

Hope your Wednesday is a blessed one!

Yours,
Tara B.

Just a quick update on my, ummm, challenging day.

THANK YOU for praying and for the kind emails/fb comments/blog comments. I truly appreciate it.

My day was certainly a challenging one to begin, but I had a lovely conversation with a friend mid-day, so that was great. But my dental work was excruciating and still is—plus, it’s now morphed into a throbbing, blinding, nauseating migraine. No fun. But the girls and I are getting through it. (Soph did our Bible reading tonight. )

The most stressful part of my day is related to my sweet Golden, Lilikoi:



I’m just SO grateful that I followed my instincts and took her straight to the vet this morning. She did decline throughout the day and ended up even bleeding—so they’ve x-rayed things and run some tests and started her on I.V. antibiotics and fluids. But oh! I’m having a little PTSD flashback to the death of our first Golden (who went from perfectly healthy to gone in just a few days, with similar gastrointestinal symptoms).

Hopefully, Lili will be back with us in a few days. (The doctor said that she will be in the clinic at least for the next two to three days for sure.) And hopefully all will be well.

But no matter what, I know we’re OK. It’s actually been a very prayerful day for me—which is a HUGE grace. I truly credit our women’s study on “A Praying Life” for helping me so much in that area.

Must take care of a diapie for dear Eleanor now, so I’ll sign off and say g'nite.

God bless you!

Yours,
Tara B.

PS
I forgot to tell you that as soon as I walked (limped—in pain!) in the door tonight, I DROPPED A JUG OF JUICE and it EXPLODED into a teeny tiny ocean of sticky juice all over my kitchen. Yes. Truly. It’s just been one of those days.

I’ve been meaning to read Kevin DeYoung and Ted Kluck’s book, Why We’re Not Emergent: By Two Guys Who Should Be, for a couple of years now. And after a quick re-reading of “Being the Body” and “Life Together” this morning, I’m diving into it this afternoon.

(Can you tell I’m not in Momma Tara Mode Today? Nope. Still feels strange to be able to get a cold drink or use the restroom without having to coordinate three people and accouterments, but for a few hours today, I’m tucked away in my church’s library stretching a different part of my heart and brain.)

I have to say, so far, DeYoung and Kluck have me interested in this book. Consider just one excerpt from the introduction:

"I preach long, doctrinal, expositional sermons that proclaim the uniqueness of Jesus Christ, the reality of hell, the demands of obedience, the call to evangelism, the duty of mercy ministry, and the glorious truths of unconditional election and particular redemption (though not everyone in the church finds these last two truths as glorious as I do) … I share a few pages about myself only to demonstrate that you can be young, passionate about Jesus Christ, surrounded by diversity, engaged in a postmodern world, and reared in evangelicalism and not be an emergent Christian. In fact, I want to argue that it would be better if you weren’t."

Hmmm. Well. As a person who likes “long, doctrinal, expositional sermons” just like he described, I’m curious to read what he says about this topic.

Also, this excerpt from an old Challies book review has kept this book on my “read one day” list:

"Meanwhile, DeYoung’s chapters are the real heart of the book. He covers a variety of topics of great theological importance including the Bible, Christian doctrine, modernism and its impact on theology, and the doctrines of Jesus Christ. He shows the danger inherent in the emergent unwillingness to take stands even on doctrines closest to the heart of the Christian faith. The claim that emerging theology is still in process is no excuse. “It’s one thing for a high school student to be in process with his theology. It’s another thing for adults to write books and speak around the world about their musing and misgivings. I agree there must be space for Christians to ask hard questions and explore the tensions of our faith, but I seriously question that this space should be hugely public where hundreds of thousands of men and women are eagerly awaiting the next book or blog or podcast arising from your faith journey. No matter what new label you put on it, once you start selling thousands of books, speaking all over the country and world, and being looked to for spiritual and ecclesiastical direction, you’re no longer just a conversation partner. You are a leader and a teacher. And this is serious business...”

Back to reading now.

Blessings,
Tara B.

PS
A very godly man signed off on an email to me today with a Christ-centered Resurrection Day blessing–
And then added this:

"May all your chocolate bunnies be solid chocolate."

Totally made me grin.

If it weren’t for the excellent work of Tim Challies, I would not regularly be praying that the future husbands of Sophia and Ella will be protected even now from the devastating effects of p*orn. But after reading his many links, articles, and his excellent (FREE!) e-book series on S*xual Detox, I am now. I am also praying, of course, for my girls to be protected too.

It’s a sad fact of life in our current world that this temptation has the potential to devastate lives and families. But it does.

(Challies linked to another article this morning that reviews some of the stats: Getting Serious About P*rnography)

As someone who was exposed to p*rn at a terrible, young age, I can attest that its influence and power is great. And horrible. But God gives grace!

Oh that we may all be careful and if we are caught in sin (Gal. 6:1), or if someone we love is, may we humble ourselves and seek help (counsel, encouragement, accountability, prayer). We are not the only ones! This is a temptation that is common. And rampant.

Thanks, Challies.com, for continuing to help us in this area.

Yet again, what “is known” (by whom?) as the “most forwarded poem ever” (the numbers of such a descriptor boggle the mind, don’t they?) has completely slipped past me until this morning. But I can see why it’s earned such a moniker. And listening to it brought me immediately back to Mrs. Adams 3rd grade class at Cork El, Mr. Fiske and Dr. Lambrecht conducting us in band, Dr. Charmian Poe scaring the living life out of me (but making me able not only to write a paper but also NEVER misuse its and it’s again. Ever.).

Thinking back on teachers in my life, I thanked God for Mrs. Miller “making” us memorize poetry and “Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow creeps in its petty pace from day to day ...” Mr. Kaplan and Mr. Leipold made law school fascinating me and reminding me how fun it is to THINK. And most of all, I thought of Dr. Jensen (who is simply the best teacher I have ever had in any discipline) and Dr. Olsen (from my Augustana days).

Oh, Dr. Olsen. I could hear your “Pilgrimage with Poets” as I listened to this. I felt the stab of my A- on my first test in your Black Literature class. ("You can do better than this, Tara." You were right, but I was terrified at the time because I didn’t know you were right.)

WARNING: One profane word and one common but profane gesture included. And, sadly, at the very end he uses the phrase “God d*mn” which is the weakest moment. Still, if you can deal with those concerns, this is worth the listen. Especially if you’ve ever learned anything from anyone in your life; especially if you are striving in this season to encourage a love for learning and a passion for excellence, for doing “all things as unto the Lord,” in anyone else’s life. (Say, your kids'.)

Thank God for poets. And teachers.



HT: Seth Godin. (This is a blog that I’m definitely going to check back on. You know how I’m so lazy and tempted to discouragement and paralysis? This young man is, apparently, the POLAR OPPOSITE. Many worthwhile posts after only reading for a few minutes. And two days left if any of you extremely productive, passionate people want to apply to his (free, but I bet extremely competitive to get into!), "Let’s Spend a (Very Leveraged) Week Together." Brings me back to my MBA/financial services/reading “Fast Company” days. Not that that’s a good thing. Just different from my current life.)

Would you please pray for my friend, A.B., this week as she is taking her family through the “Peacemaker Clubs VBS” with the hopes of (possibly) serving her neighborhood by hosting a “backyard club” sometime in the future?



This is the second friend I know who has done this, and I really want to keep on encouraging you all to consider the Peacemaker Clubs for your church’s evangelism and VBS ministries. It really is a particularly “easy” way to reach out to your neighbors:

(Knock knock knock.)

"Hi. My name is Tara. I’m from Rocky Mountain Community Church and this week we’re hosting a free vacation Bible school program on kids and peacemaking. Do your children ever FIGHT?"

“Uh-huh.” and “Yeah.” and “How many times can they go?”

You can purchase the Peacemaker Clubs curriculum from the resources page of my website.

Thanks and blessings!
– Tara B.

What a fascinating read (HT yet again, Challies.com!) over at ChristianWeek:

Technology Has Convinced Us We Can’t Sing

Of course I had heard of autotuning, and I surely know many people who refuse to sing ("because they have such terrible voices"—or so they say). But I had never put the two together before.

Oh! How I pray that all of God’s people will RELAX and ENJOY and SING! We sing all the time around here, and believe you me, I have the worst voice in the family. Who cares?

Yesterday, as we walked up the flight of stairs at church, Sophie me sang one slow, somber, haunting melody of a song she had just made up. And then she sang it for Fred later that night. Right before we went to bed, she made up the happiest little diddy with a sweet tune and a funny story line. I think it went something like this:

"Once there was a little goat
Who danced into the woods.

He stepped on a thorn
And lost his horn.

And twirled and twirled and twirled."

(It gets faster with each repeat.)

We sing musicals all the time—the original words and we make up our own too. Last week, Fred adapted the (stunning! have you seen Donny Osmund perform it? breathtaking!) Close Every Door to Me from Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat into a ballad for Ella (as he put her into her crib). It went something along the lines of:

"Close every door to me
Keep those I love from me
Put me in my CRIB and leave me alone!

If my life were important I would ask
Will I live or die?
But I know the answers lie in my OCEAN WONDERS!"

Soph thought it was hysterical and sang it for days.

‘Course we sing lots of hymns and worship choruses too. We love to jam to bluegrass. Since we’re in Montana, we did buy a Kenney Chesney album and occasionally we enjoy the country western tome set to three chords. We’re learning to enjoy a little “rockin’” music (not a big fan of “the classics” to quote my favorite philosophy professor from undergrad—Rolling Stones? The Who? The Eagles? How embarrassing—I had to google “classic rock” to even come up with that list. I am so very not cool.)

We have quiet classical music playing as we read, color, hang out. We BLAST loud classical music when we feel like air-drumming timpanis and pretending to be entire french horn sections. And who can listen to the piccolo part of Stars and Stripes Forever without pretending to join in?

I remember once, probably 20+ years ago, a friend of mine who was recently married and a young mother, told me that she never sang in front of anyone. Ever. Not her husband. (She wouldn’t ever share a hymnal with him at church because she wouldn’t allow him to hear her sing.) Not her children. (Even holding a baby.)

She was so ashamed of her own voice, that she never sang with her family. I have prayed for her over the years many times—especially when I’ve looked up at Fred leading our worship team at church and raised my hands with Soph while holding Ella (and Sophia raises Eleanor’s hands) and we all just sing sing sing. I’ve prayed that whatever condemning voices was spoken into her heart and life as a young girl and young woman would be SILENCED. That she would see the bondage that overly focusing on self is.

(For years, I covered my smile because my dad told me as a little girl that I had an ugly smile. “Too toothy,” he said. Can you imagine? What a thing to tell a child. Although I must admit, it is true that I have a terrifically broad and toothy smile. What can you do?)

And I pray that she would relax and sing.

"Come, let us sing for joy to the LORD; let us shout aloud to the Rock of our salvation!" Psalm 95:1

Blessings on your day—

Yours,
Tara B.

PS
Along the lines of musical links from Challies, this is definitely worth the watch ... but I’d still rather see the real people on stage in a hall together with me, breathing the same air, creating that music live. Art is art and it only happens once. There’s something about being there, together, in real life. (Hearing the occasional trumpet mute rattle. Seeing the percussionists move from one instrument to the next. Watching the second chairs flip the music page.)

Still, this is amazing:

I can’t believe this issue is raising its ugly head again:

U.S. Supreme Court Agrees to Hear Lawsuit Against U.C.-Hastings

Our Christian Legal Society law school chapter faced this exact same issue when I was a 1L. At that time the case law was standing firm in favor of what, it seems to me, are clearly articulated rights in The U.S. Constitution. We had to (respectfully) take a stand and (respectfully) draft some briefs in support of our convictions, but once the administration understood the case law, they backed down and we were allowed to continue to freely associate as an officially recognized student group.

Please join me in praying that the U.S. Supreme Court will uphold the right of this Christian Legal Society student group to meet. Truly, this case will have profound and lasting effects on our nation if it goes the other way.

And please do consider financially supporting the work of The Alliance Defense Fund. It truly is shocking how religious freedoms are challenged every day in the United States of America. ADF is fighting hard on your behalf, whether you even know they exist or not.

Thanks much!

Yours,
Tara B.

PS
Albert Mohler has a brief article on this issue and case here. (HT: Challies.com)

If you’re free over the lunch hour today (March 22), please consider joining me on the radio! I have the joy of participating in a call-in radio program via Larry Wood’s ministry, “PeaceTalk Online.”

Here are the details:

Monday, March 22 at 12:30PM (Eastern)

Streaming Online at PeaceTalk Online

Broadcast on AM660 (for South Carolina, Northern Georgia or Western North Carolina)

Call In and Join Us! 1-888-660-9535 or said another way 1 Triple Eight-660-WLFJ

Hope to get to chat with you!

Are you a teacher with a background in special ed? Would you like to work in CHINA?

A dear friend of mine from way back in my undergrad days (AUGIE!) has been serving at this school in Bao'an and they are currently looking to hire a new teacher. Here are the details:

Working in Chinese orphanages, Sunshine Academy provides education and evening caregiving for preschool and kindergarten aged children living in Chinese Government Social Welfare Centers (orphanages).

We are currently looking for a certified teacher with special education background to serve as the head counselor (lead teacher) of our school in Bao'an, Shenzhen. The head counselor serves two primary roles: that of a teacher as well as administrator. The teaching duties include teaching English to our preschool and kindergarten students as well as music. The administrative duties include building a teaching team, coaching and evaluating teachers, coordinating with orphanage administration, evaluating students, overseeing evening programming and overall onsite direction for the school and evening programs.

Our school in Bao'an has 50 children ages 3-6. Many of the children have physical, emotional or mental disabilities, hence we are looking for applicants with a background in Special Education. Bao'an is a district of the large city of Shenzhen which is located in Southeastern China on the boarder to Hong Kong. Shenzhen is a modern city with many Western conveniences and a sizable foreign community. This position will begin August 2010 and will include on the job training for the newly hired head counselor.

Drop me an email if you’re interested and I’ll connect you with my dear friend.

Thanks and blessings!
– tkb

HT: Clark Vowell for this (shudder worthy!) quote via his facebook update:

"There are only two kinds of people in the end: those who say to God, ‘Thy will be done’; and those to whom God says , in the end, ‘Thy will be done.’" - C.S Lewis

As a former estate planning attorney and current blogger/FaceBook user, I found this link from Challies.com particularly interesting:

Death and Social Media

'Course it really made me want to read through some elder law journals and I.T.-related law journals and—even more fun!—some actual case law. (MAN! it’s been too long ... I wonder if my brain could even re-engage those neurons any more?)

Thankfully, I don’t have to find out because smart people like Tim Challies keep sending us interesting (and readable) articles.

Hope you enjoy!
– Tara B.

I don’t have my copy of A Praying Life handy and I’m too (tired? lazy?) to go and get it, so I’ll have to paraphrase ...

But today in one of the chapters we discussed, Paul Miller said something along the lines of:

"Immature people give a lot of unsolicited advice."

Oh! We all had a good laugh at that truth—especially me because MAN! Did I (wrongly!) give a lot of advice as a new Believer.

Such pride. Such self-righteousness. Legalism. Performance-oriented Pharisee-ism.
I was a jerk. A (saved, justified, born again) jerk.

And I sure went around telling a lot of people what was RIGHT and WRONG and boy was I ...
Immature.
Maybe (charitably) well-meaning. Even loving.

But I didn’t even know enough to know that I didn’t know enough.

I should have been more quiet.
I should have listened more.
Like the wise, truly wise, people around me.

I thought of all of this as I read TakeYourVitaminZ’s quote of Ray Ortlund:

"Principle: The further we advance in Christ, the more we marvel at his untapped riches.

Corollary: The more we feel people need our opinions, the more obvious it is they don’t.

Another corollary: The more we feel we have to learn, the more we might have to offer.

So, how to become a sage? “Let the wise hear . . . .”

Oh! To listen more. Truly listen.
And thus, to grow wise!

May God help us all.

Again, g'nite!
(I got a little second wind there as I tried to plow through actionable emails.)

Yours,
Tara B.

If you’ve ever wanted to try electronic “scrapbooking” (please excuse me if you’re a REAL scrapbooker and thus, that term is offensive/annoying to you) ... now is the time!

Mommylife.net just posted a coupon for a FREE BOOK! Just like you can’t get any more powerless than DEAD (ahhhhh, the doctrine of total depravity is not just an interesting idea) ... you can’t get better than FREE when it comes to trying something new in the

"I’d like to make something that captures our family’s year but I don’t have weeks and weeks of time or zillions of dollars PLUS I’m just not crafty so I’m never going to cut out little pieces or perfectly-matched paper or buy scissors that cut cute squiggly lines"

category.

Don’t get me wrong. I LOVE LOVE LOVE you real artist scrapbookers you. (Hi Anita!) And I keep all of your Christmas cards (do you start the day after Christmas and spend an entire YEAR making them? Kinda like the Rose Bowl?) (Hi again, Anita!!)

But it’s just not my gig.

I like to keep my photos and movies organized by month. And once a year, I like to push hard over one weekend and drop them into a book. Send links to my family. Print a free second copy for the kids to play with. And Voila! One annual Barthel family book that we can all enjoy. (Plus, a great electronic backup in case—God forbid—our house burns to the ground or something like that happens.)

So check it out!

Free Picaboo Book

Hope it’s a blessing to you.

G'nite and God bless,
Tara B.

Carolyn McCulley just put this quote up on her FB status:

"Patience is a deliberate act of humility"–Tim Keller

Oh, man. Am I convicted.

"For God alone my soul waits in silence;
from him comes my salvation.

He only is my rock and my salvation,
my fortress; I shall not be greatly shaken."

This is a fascinating video—not just for runners. Although, if you are a runner, I would DEFINITELY watch it.



(Don’t you just love learning new stuff from smart people? I particularly enjoyed how the second professor explained things by using a pen. If you can make science and math and engineering and bio-mechanics understandable to me? Well, you’re a great teacher.)

If you are an attorney and/or a Certified Christian Conciliator, you might be interested in this continuing legal education program:

The Ethics of E-Discovery and Social Media

I read some fascinating articles on this topic when I caught up on my law journals on today’s flights.

Thanks, TakeYourVitaminZ, for letting us know that Outreach Magazine recently named Jerram Barrs’ Learning Evangelism from Jesus the book of the year in the evangelism category.

From Crossway Blog:

"The Outreach Resources of the Year is a celebration of the best books, DVDs and curricula produced to help the Church and Christians reach out in areas such as evangelism, compassionate service and cross-cultural ministries.

Congratulations to Dr. Barrs!

Barrs studied Jesus’ conversations with diverse people in his day and drew lessons and principles for attractively communicating the gospel to unbelievers in ours. While our culture may tempt God’s people to conform, retreat, or be silenced, Jesus exemplified how to attract people to the gospel. He modeled how to initiate spiritual conversations full of grace and truth. Christian evangelism, then, both in theory and practice, must be shaped by his pattern.

We invite you to read the sample chapter on Jesus and the Bible Teacher and consider getting a copy of his award winning resource."

Dr. Barrs is the founder and resident scholar of the Francis Schaeffer Institute at Covenant Theological Seminary in St. Louis, MO, where he is also Professor of Christian Studies and Contemporary Culture. He is also the keynote speaker at the 2010 Women in the Church Leadership Training Conference: Gospel Driven Discipleship where I am (gratefully) headed tomorrow.

I can’t wait to learn from him in person! And then, I’m sure, pick up this book, too.

If you love and respect Ligon Duncan (I surely do!), you’ll enjoy this behind the scenes glimpse into his ministry life:



What a great and godly churchman. (Raised, by the way, not only by a great and godly father, but a brilliant and godly mother. If you have never read his tribute to her in the beginning of Women’s Ministry in the Local Church, you’re really missing out. What a remarkable woman!)

Enjoy,
– Tara B.

PS
I owe a HT to Pastor Anyabwile for the link above. And I also want to post you to a recent article he wrote on studying Scripture every day with his daughters: What It Means to Me.

What a great read! Oh, and in the interest of full disclosure I should tell you that when I met Pastor Anyabwile I gushed like a 1950’s girl meeting Elvis. I think I may have even said something like, “I love your writing! I love your blog! You are a churchman of the order of Ligon Duncan.” (Blush. But it’s true. I don’t know who the non-obituary people are in a current People magazine, but I lose it and stammer around theologians.)

As our family’s little video reaches various milestones on YouTube, I like to share it with you again:



As of this morning, we’ve passed 250,000 hits and we’re still holding the #1 and #4 Google hits on the phrase “world’s most patient dog.”

Fun stuff! Maybe I should consider one of these “revenue sharing” options I keep getting asked about?
(Nah. Probably not.)

Blessings to you and yours,
Tara B.

It is my pleasure to allow pretty much any (reasonable) friend on FaceBook. But I decline all “gifts.” I never take surveys / participate in games / whatever. (So please don’t take it personal if you invite me to something really great or leave me a “pet” or a “hug” or whatever and I ignore or delete it.)

I have been tempted by a few (Whitey’s Ice Cream for example, or a certain theologian I just LOVE), but I’ve tried to figure out a few guidelines for myself re: social media and “living” online, etc. And that’s where I’m at as of today.

My high school band teacher’s update tempted me again, though. Apparently he joined a group called I dont care about your farm, or your fish, or your park, or your mafia!!!. And wow. I could really get behind the substance of that group, even though the title is a bit snarky.

Still, I don’t want to join a group to say I don’t want to join a group.

So back to work for me ...

Jane Patete just sent me this quote from her morning reading from Valley of Vision:

"Fill me with peace, that no disquieting worldly gales may ruffle the calm surface of my soul ..."

Again, amen.

Would you please take a moment right now and pray for a friend of mine?

I can’t go into details (wouldn’t be appropriate) but this friend is suffering horribly. Right now. And it seems that the suffering is not only not ending or even slowing down—it is increasing in intensity at levels that I can’t even wrap my mind around.

I am in shock. I am so sad. I am so ANGRY at the ravaging effects of sin and the realities of life in a fallen world.

Oh! Won’t you please pray for my friend?
I would be so very, very grateful.

Thank you.
— Tara B.

Just a little shout-out to Steph Hubach and her entire MNA Special Needs Ministries team for their hard work serving the members of our denomination who have disabilities (and their families and churches too)—Thanks for your ministry! And God bless you as even more PCA churches get to know you, become better equipped themselves, and (hopefully!) support you with prayers and financial support too.

If your church is in the PCA and you don’t already have a strategic, gospel-proclaiming ministry dedicated to glorifying God by enjoying and supporting people with disabilities in your church, I encourage you to get to know this ministry. (Actually, even if you already DO have such a ministry, please get to know them anyway because in true Presbyterian fashion, then YOU can be a part of serving others in our denomination too.)

MNA Special Needs Ministries - 2010 WIC Love Gift

Hello again from the Barthel chaos!

Hope your Tuesday is going well. Fred laughed when I told him I’d been awake and working hard since 3:30AM. We thought I might have a hard time getting back onto Mountain time after five days on the east, but after today he said (quoting): “Keep this up and you’re going to be on EUROPE time.” Yes, I am.

But, thanks to a few hours of hard work and a gracious husband’s willingness to stop by the post office on his way to work, most of my South Carolina orders are already in the mail.

(Hooray for Fred!)



I did want to tell you that if you ordered Ed Welch’s book, “Running Scared,” it’s going to be a couple of extra days before your order will go out. Peacemakers is out of stock for three weeks and I didn’t want you to have to wait that long, so I bought the 13 copies I needed from another seller and as soon I receive them, I’ll have them in the mail to you. (I have your boxes/envelopes labeled and ready to go.)

Sorry for the delay! Please let me know if you have any questions or concerns.

Back to (very) sick Sophie (I’m concerned!) and (very) cute Ella now—

Gratefully,
Tara B.

Sophie and I had a fun time Skyping last night because she kept (excitedly) bringing me everything in the house that had to do with Pompeii:

"Mom! Mom! Did you know that Pompeii is not only in our history cards? It’s also in Jack & Annie’s Magic Tree House. And we even have MORE books on it too?!"

Mmmmmmmmmm. Really? That’s so cool! (Wonder how all of those interesting history-related resources got into the house, dearie bearie. )

(Not that I would ever say that.)

I just responded by saying, “Great! Tell me all about it.” And she did.

I have to say—I absolutely adored Sophia when she was a teeny tiny little newborn. And I loved and enjoyed her as a toddler and preschooler. But this “big (little) kid” age is tremendously interesting and enjoyable too.

Pretty much at every stage, Fred and I used to say, “This is SO great! This is the BEST stage.” But now we know that every stage is the best stage. And we’re blessed even to have just one more moment, one more day, one more experience with our little ones.

But oh! It’s HARD, isn’t it? Parenting, I mean.

Being a mother is beyond a doubt the hardest thing I have ever done. (And I would guess Fred would say the same about being a father.) I really hope I make it home tonight, not only to see them all—but to give Fred a rest. Being the sole parent for tiny kids, especially when one is sick, is not only physically exhausting, it is mentally exhausting. (What a great reminder to continue to pray for and look for ways to support our actively deployed military families and the single parents in our churches too. They do this month after month, year after year!)

We’re about to board, so I need to sign off. I’ll do so by saying that one of the FIRST thoughts I had as Sophie was so excited about Pompeii was actually, “I hope I didn’t drop a ball and leave something age INAPPROPRIATE in her reach.” Because when I was little (I’d guess it was right around 1978 ), we went and saw the Pompeii exhibit at The Art Institute in Chicago and OH MY STARS! It terrified me. I was WAY too young to see those images.

Thankfully, Sophie is learning about the destruction in abstraction. Plenty of life left for her to live and learn about this (and other) horrors at age-appropriate times.

Off to my tiny plane now—

Happy, blessed Monday to you,
Tara B.

I just finished my fifth session at this women’s retreat in South Carolina.

What a privilege it was to be with these remarkable women! I learned so much by our conversations and I was truly edified just to be with them all. (Plus, they were extremely gracious with me re: what I would charitably describe as not my best teaching sessions. I tried my best! But oh, I was not pleased with my service to them. Don’t worry—I’m not beating myself up. I am simply praying and trusting that God’s grace to cover (yet again) my lack.)

Now I’m processing all of the paperwork related to serving 200+ women and wondering if I’ll get to serve tomorrow night or whether that event will be canceled. (I’m supposed to train some women leaders at a different church—same city—tomorrow night. But a winter snow storm has blanketed the area with ice and snow and church services are canceled for the morning. So we’ll just have to see how the night goes tomorrow and whether I can get home Monday.

But that’s not my prayer request. I’m actually putting up this blog to ask for prayer for sweet Sophie and dear Fred and Ella because Sophie is sick.

We’re still trying to figure out how sick—but she’s pretty miserable and Fred had to cancel leading worship tomorrow and we’re prayerfully trying to determine our plan for Monday re: childcare. (Because, of course, we don’t want to expose anyone else to whatever she’s fighting. And it’s just no fun to be sick when you’re little—harder still to be away from Mom and Dad.)

So thanks for praying for her and for us—
And thanks, South Carolina ladies, for a wonderful weekend!

Back to my spreadsheets and to-do lists now.

G'nite,
Tara B.

I’ve actually been working kind of diligently the last fews days to get ready for this trip (rather than my typical “do everything the night before” pattern). It’s kind of nice—but I can’t really believe I will ultimately shed my procrastinator ways. Seems way to organized and together for how I feel these days.

I did have a few ah-hah’s in the last 24 hours that I thought might either make you chuckle or encourage or maybe even help you:

1. I realized that it is SO good that it’s not ME organizing the day-to-day details of our church’s little co-op. I think that in the past, I would’ve jumped at the chance to organize things because I would’ve thought I could serve well. But now I see that I am really not a maintainer. I’m much more of a project-based change agent. I’m a good back office helper. But our co-op does so much better in the hands of a faithful, calm, steady, not-prone-to-ups-and-downs woman (i.e., NOT ME). So glad that I never volunteered to lead ...

2. Thanks to a frustrating situation, I had a fresh opportunity to remember anew just how much I really dislike conflict. I hate it, in fact. It’s a hassle. It ruins my otherwise happy mood. All of a sudden I go from being a relatively sweet and loving mom to SUPER GROUCH (and my family didn’t even have anything to do with the situation). What I REALLY want to do, instinctively, is defend myself, blame the other person, and hold a grudge. Oh! What a wretch I am. Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God ...

3. Whatever my tiny little inconveniences in life, they simply cannot compare the suffering that millions of people are experiencing right now. This very moment. And I don’t even have to gaze all the way to Haiti to see it. Friends, dear friends, people I love greatly, are bearing extraordinary loads of stress and sorrow. Who am I to complain for my tiny little aches and pains and unpleasant situations? May God forgive my selfish heart.

4. I LOVED this quote from my friend’s fb update yesterday: “I get to do fun things nobody else in the world except Karen Vowell gets to do today.” And she was cleaning closets at the time! Isn’t that just a wonderful attitude to have towards your daily tasks? Oh! I just love that woman. (Yes, she’s my cream of tartar / mother of Kerry Lou, Kelly, Karla, Clark, Corey & Kayla / buddy.)

Off to our family’s continued reading of Revelation now. (Pastor Alfred is starting a new sermon series and he asked us all to read the entire book this week. We’re making good progress as a family, but so far we’ve had to stop and SING a lot because there sure are a bunch of hymns and spiritual songs that come verbatim from Revelation.)

Good night and God bless!

Yours,
Tara B.

We don’t have television news on in our home, so we get our information from other sources.

Just by reading and listening, however, I know that the airwaves (internet cable thingy waves?) have been inundated with photos and video from Haiti. We have prayed as a family, but we haven’t seen a lot of the live footage of the death and devastation.

But TakeYourVitmainZ posted a photo that motivated me to go out and look for coverage of this: the remarkable, God-honoring rescuing of a seven year-old boy named Kiki.



If you poke around news sites, you’ll see clips of Kiki answering questions from reporters as to how he survived for seven days without food and water. ("God helped me.")

What a start to my day. What a reminder to keep praying and giving. What an encouragement to remember what is really important in life.

God bless little Kiki and the brave men who saved him.

Life is just so hard! (And will continue to be for this little one, I am sure.)

What a mercy to experience this moment of grace.

Enjoy your weekend!
– Tara B.

Just a quick note to let “dismayed” know that I have deleted the post from 2006 that motivated his or her criticisms this morning.

I stand behind the theology of what I said in the post (I truly believe that God is sovereign, even—especially—over our worst suffering.)

However, I also believe that the criticisms are warranted in that, like so many things on the internet, it was not possible to understand my tone by reading solely this one post. If you don’t know me or regularly read my blog, I guess you could presume to know that I am “flippant” and “not sensitive”.

I thought about trying to re-write the post to be more careful, but it seemed best to just delete it. And so I did.

Hope your Saturday is a blessed one—

Yours,
Tara B.

PS
After two and a half HOURS of wrestling with my ancient laptop and clunky ol' blog software (and a nice ol' fight w/Freddy that we’re still in the middle of), I still haven’t been able pull down the post. I think my computer is about to crash—so before I get the blue screen of death, I should clarify this post to say that I am TRYING to pull down the post from 2006 and hopefully I’ll have that done before, you know, noon.

PPS
Hey! It was Fight 37. Of course.

- Fred: “I need to update your blog software ...”
- I hear: “He’s going to take care of this soon.”
- Fred thinks, “I need to get to that one of these days / months / years.”

Thankfully we’ve worked through it and he figured out a technie way to delete the post. Whew! Only three hours later ...

Off into our Saturday now. Blessings to you all! – tkb

Interesting post over at IX Marks on the four things a pastor can do in preaching (illustrate, defend, explain, apply):

One Thing I Remember from Preaching Class

Hey Anita!

You beat the (incredibly low ) odds and won the prize in our giveaway.

Drop me an email (or fb if that’s easier for you) and let me know what book/resource you’d like, confirm your mailing address, and I’ll do everything I can to get it right off to you.

Love to you and your entire wonderful family—
Tara B.

(I love digging through sermon notes and re-reading books to prep for new teachings! Well, not really new. Nothing new to be said unless it’s heresy, I’m sure. But it’s fun to prep. Here’s an oldy but a goody from the brilliant Paige Benton Brown ...)

"The problem is not that we need more. The problem is that we don’t know what we already have."

Amen and preach it, sister.

How fun!

The world’s cutest webmaster-turned-communications-director, Fred Barthel, was interviewed on Challies.com:

Meet the Ministries - Peacemaker Ministries

A blessed Martin Luther King Day to you all!

If you’ve never actually HEARD his most famous message, I encourage you to click on through and take a few minutes to listen:



Reading is great. But some things you just need to hear.

Talking (in age appropriate ways) with Sophia about the horrific evils of slavery and racism and Jim Crow laws is necessary. (Because we simply cannot read “Little House on the Prairie” or talk about history in any realistic way without addressing this terrible part of our wonderful country’s history.)

Heroes of the Civil Rights Movement? It is my hope that she will know them, know their writings and preaching and music—and live every day of her life mindful of the fact that every single human being is created in God’s image with a soul that will last forever.

I’ll never forget the first time I heard the phrase “A Charge to Keep Have We”. (I had no idea what it meant and I was a Christian! In grad school. Errrrr. I cringe at this.) That was around the first time I ever sang “We Shall Overcome” in a group wherein I was in the minority based on my skin color.

Oh, that Dr. King’s prayer would be fulfilled:

"I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: ‘We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.’"

Time to watch the speech with Fred and Sophie now ...

Blessings,
Tara B.

The girls and I were blessed to spend time recently with Grandma K. (an older woman in our church who—THANKS BE TO GOD!—has taken an interest in being our friend; not just my friend, but a real friend to Sophie and Ellie too).

We talked about a zillion things, but one conversation in particular had to do with the benefits of HUMBLY LISTENING rather than speaking.

We told stories about great men and women we have known through the years who were wise, biblically-astute, profound thinkers with extraordinary life experiences, who would sit in Bible studies, over fellowship meals, or in pretty much any setting and LISTEN. They never drew attention to themselves. In fact, they were gifted at drawing out OTHER people and then listening to their responses.

One man, in particular, I remember saying to me:

"Tara, you will never learn anything by talking."

Oh! How right he is. And how far I have to go in keeping my own prone-to-rattle-on (especially when I’m nervous) chattiness in check.

I was thinking about all of this when I read Pastor Anyabwile’s recent post:

A Full, Quick, Exact Man

wherein he quotes Carson quoting Francis Bacon:

"Reading maketh a full man; speaking maketh a quick man; writing maketh an exact man."

Working with Cap'n Dave on this current book project simply makes me shake in my Keds because Dave is a man who, as far as I can tell, never has a misplaced word in writing OR in speaking. Talk about exact.

Yeep! Can’t believe he partnered with me on this project. Talk about yin and yang. It’ll be interesting to see how things go.

(I keep thinking, “For Narnia and the North!” because we really are a bunch o' Narniacs around here.)

But I guess I really mean—

SDG,
Tara B.

I’m smiling for many reasons right now.

Ella is cooing and giggling next to me (and chewing on her toes).

Fred, Sophie, Ella and I all enjoyed a slow, quiet morning with lots of cuddling and fun conversations. (For example, Soph read on her calendar yesterday that apparently some queen was ALSO born on my birthday, June 8, so I had to break the news to her that, you know, the queen is actually ME. I’ve been in hiding my entire life (to protect me from the dragon who ate my family and who wants to eat me), but I’m actually a real-life queen. You should’ve seen her face in response. Classic. Then, too soon of course, came her, “Mom? Is this TRUTH or FICTION?”)

And thanks to a google hit on Peacemaking Women, I discovered Jenn’s The Simple Life and I’m looking forward to poking around her substantive posts and links one of these days. But she also had a photo on a recent post that just made me smile:



I made good progress yesterday working on the content for the custom leadership training I’m giving in South Carolina in a couple of weeks. And I found out that the PCA women’s retreat I’m doing that same weekend is nearing 200 registrants—which was beyond what the event host had initially planned for—so that’s exciting and we’re all looking forward to serving those dear women.

Ella apparently rolled ALL the way over yesterday. But to quote Sophie, “Only God and Sophie saw her do it.” That’s good enough for me (like Lucy in LWW, Soph is not known to tell untruths), so I marked it in Ella’s baby book.

Fred is getting very close to buying me a new laptop. Like dog years, my current one is like 100 years old in laptop years and WOW! I could get a lot more done a lot faster if I didn’t have to sit and wait and wait and WAIT (and deal with crashes) so often. (I have to think that Fred’s, “Does it always take this long?” when he had to use my laptop the other day might’ve been just the impetus we needed to push us into spending the money we’ve been saving and saving towards a new computer.)

I was harsh with Sophie yesterday afternoon. (Exhausted, yes. In pain, yes. An excuse for being impolite to my own daughter? NOPE.) And when I apologized and asked her forgiveness, she readily gave it.

And that’s pretty much the news from Lake Woebegone. I’m trusting you can see why I’m smiling.

Hope your weekend is a blessed one—

Yours,
Tara B.

PS
Mid-morning UPDATE ...

Fred and Sophie just walked across our alley to the little coffee shop and brought me back a cup of real coffee and a scone (and a muffin for Soph). Ellie is sleeping on my chest. And here I sit avec coffee and scone. Mmmmmmm ... How could I have been so stressed out and overwhelmed just a few hours ago? Thank You, God, for time in Your Word, prayer, and a quiet morning with family. Just what the Good Physician ordered.

No. This isn’t some deep theological post on complementarianism. It’s actually just some thoughts I had this morning that made me laugh to myself and I thought you might enjoy too ...

HOW A GUY (let’s call him Ted) MAKES A BABY BOTTLE
- Go to the kitchen.
- Wash hands.
- Make bottle.
- Give milkies to baby.

HOW A GAL (let’s call her Lara) MAKES A BABY BOTTLE
- Go to the kitchen.
- See that we don’t have multiple bottles of water in reserve. Go to basement to get more water. See that receipts need filing in basement office and there is laundry to throw in. File receipts. Start load of laundry. Grab bottles of water and head back upstairs.
- See mittens, scarves, and boots on back landing. Set down water bottles. Put clothing away in front closet. See pillows needing straightening in living room. And books. And baby toys. Do a quick touch up of living room. Since arms are full of stuff to put away anyway, grab things from dining room too. Run (or limp if you’ve just had knee surgery) downstairs again to put away stuff and upstairs to put away stuff.
- Think of three things for the shopping list. Add to list. Make list of school goals for six year old for the morning and list of to-do’s for babysitter later in day. Water plants. Fill dog dish with water. See dust in bathroom and think, “I could take care of that with just ONE Windex’d paper towel.” Quickly wipe down mirror and shelf in bathroom.
- Finally back in the kitchen? Wash hands.
- Make bottle.
- Give milkies to baby.

I would appreciate your prayers today and next week as I am working on content development—for three speaking events that require new content and for a writing project.

I don’t know how it is for other people, but for me? I pray before I accept a project and then I pray a lot during the development stage and (of course) when rolling it out.

I research. I read, seek counsel, take notes.

I think. I really do! (Even though those of you who know me in real life may question my ability to think any more. My brain is SO slow and SO sluggish these days.) When I’m working on a big task, I find myself thinking about the certain topic in the shower, in the nighttime, while driving around town, while waiting in a waiting room.

I actually like the thinking phase related to working hard on a project. It’s encouraging to me and truly pleasant to know that somehow my brain/heart/soul (wonder what the right term is for it?) is churning through something and really trying to come up with some sort of resolution.

Well, today is resolution day. I have a short amount of time to make a lot of forward progress. And there’s nothing like a deadline to make things happen.

From blank screen to SOMETHING by noon. This is my prayer.

Thanks, all! Hope you have a lovely day—

Yours,
Tara B.

PS
Just a little shout out of congratulations to Barbara and Maddy Curtis (and the entire Curtis family) for Maddy’s (apparently) wonderful debut on American Idol last night. I don’t watch the show, but I do check in on Barbara’s blog periodically and I have always been greatly edified by her posts about Maddy and her (four!) beloved brothers with Downs Syndrome. Way to use your gifts, Maddy, with humility, poise, and grace!

Wow. I want to be like this young man and raise my girls to be like him too.

(We’re talking a lot these days about being a gracious winner and a gracious loser re: board games because OH MY STARS! I was such a spoiled little poor loser BRAT as a kid. Soph never tires of hearing stories about what a wretched little lying, mean kid I used to be. )

If you’re in the mood to have some fun, I encourage you to teach a small class of six year-olds about Ancient Greece and what a democratic form of government means. THEN, have your students learn how to propose a law (to their fellow “citizens”), debate potential amendments to the law, and then take a vote. (The “AYS” have it!)

I had an absolute blast.

As I mentioned to Fred this morning (after a great discussion with Sophie about what I have to assume is one of the most famous uses of the G.P. (Grand Pause) in classical music: Mendelssohn’s Elijah):

"Sophie will never learn about what kind of flower or plant something is from me. I neither care about nor know what kind of bird a certain bird is. And of course, I doubt she’ll really learn any great cooking from me. Ever. But we sure have some FUN conversations about MUSIC and LAW."

It’s true!

Later in the morning (as we were cuddling in bed, playing with Ella and going through our schoolwork), we had another great discussion about the distinctions between federal and state law. And then I told her that there are actually local/city laws/ordinances too. To which she replied, "Cool!"

Well said, lovie bug. Well said.

Hope your Monday was a great one!

G'nite,
Tara B.

Hmmmmm ... in looking back over the past few days, I realize that I am apparently just a Challies.com parrot. Not a bad thing to be, especially when you’re crazy busy and haven’t made time to blog.

But rather than reading my summaries of his (great) blog, why not check him out for yourself?

Challies.com

Don’t watch this unless you want to cry—especially if you are a marching band geek and/or prone to fall in love with marching band geeks.



(HT: Challies)

It’s been awhile since I’ve seen this much snow drop in one day.



(Not 1978, record-breaking-win me the Chicago Tribune SNOW SQUAD award for delivering papers in a BLIZZARD-levels of snow. But lots of snow nonetheless.)

I even had to ask our friend if she would (pretty please) pick us up and drop us off for co-op because a) our Honda would never even make it out of driveway; and b) it’s hard enough to gimp along on a crutch on snow and ice—it’s impossible to do so while carrying a baby in a car seat. I called her our very own personal Yellowstone Snow Coach.



How grateful I am that we can do almost all of our schooling in bed. In our PJ’s. With my knee elevated. Snug as little bugs in a rug.



In addition to my home duties, I’m trying very hard to make some big deadlines this week re: 2010 events and my current book project. So any prayers you’d care to make on my behalf would, as always, be appreciated.

Hope you are doing well!

Yours,
Tara B.

So, hypothetically, if you were working on a project related to churches and conflict, what topics would you FOR SURE need to cover/include?

Specifically ... what conflicts do you see coming up over and over and OVER again in churches, let’s say, you’ve HEARD about. You know. Down the street a bit. Not YOUR church, of course, but a church that someone you KNOW goes to.

(Feel free to email me directly if you prefer to keep things just between the two of us. )

Thanks for your help, friends!

Yours,
Tara B.

Challies pointed to a great article that I encourage you to check out:

The Joy of the Reformed

It reminded me of a prayer request that one of our church members made during a concert of prayer last year ...

She thanked God for the many blessings we enjoy in our church—Christ-centered preaching, the sacraments, servant headship by our leaders, corporate worship, genuine fellowship. But then she also prayed for all of us, individually, in our families, and in our church, that we would have joy.

Her prayer request has stuck with me and I think about it a lot. Some days I feel like so many of us are right on the tippy-top of a pyramid, balanced in such a way that we COULD tip right on over into JOY. But some of us, instead, just get stuck there; hanging on. Grateful. But not joyful.

The author ends his article this way:

"In the Reformed church we need to do a better job of emphasizing this spiritual joy in our own lives, in our congregations and in our pulpits. We must remind our people that, just like our righteousness, spiritual joy is not something we can create or produce. It is an alien joy. It comes from our communion with God and it is only made possible through the propitiation of Jesus Christ. We must remind God’s people that it is God who sovereignly bestows this gift upon his children. We must tell them that this joy is so powerful that it can be experienced even during our trials (James 1:2) and at all times (Philippians 4:4). We must commit ourselves to proclaiming to God’s people the “benefits of the covenant of grace.” This is exactly what I plan to do in 2010. I plan on emphasizing this Reformed joy in my preaching in 2010. I hope you will consider joining me in reminding God’s people that the joy of the Lord is their strength!"

To that, I say, “AMEN!”

How I pray that we will all REJOICE in our ALIEN JOY in 2010.
Secured for us by Another.
Regardless of circumstances.

(Did you know that irregardless is not a real word? )

Happy, blessed, joyful Wednesday to you all!

Your friend,
Tara B.

PS
Soph is feeling much better. My FaceBook update for today even showed her throwing us a little “Pez Party”:



And I’m doing great re: bleeding (none), but OH! I forgot how painful it is to have metal removed from bone. When pain killers and ice don’t help, you know it’s bad. But all in all, we’re doing well. And thinking about joy!

I debated not sharing this publicly because, well, I am truly embarrassed at what a high-maintenance person I am. Ergh! Some days it really feels like poor Freddy B. really married a bit of a lemon wifey.

But I know that many of you pray for me and for my family—and I would appreciate your prayers because, just like last summer’s RIGHT knee surgery, my after-SIMPLE-surgery-wound-care that SHOULD be “change the bandaids in a couple of days” has morphed into saturating blood in the night.

Poor Fred had to deal with removing everything that was soaked with blood, re-wrap the knee, and then strip our linens and head to our basement laundry room to TRY to get the stains out of my PJs and our sheets. Personally? I think they are ruined, but as the son of a large animal/farm country veterinarian, he thinks they are savable because he’s seen his mother get out a lot worse blood stains.

No immediate e.r. trip in the night. (I was thinking when I felt the drips and had to wake Fred, “Who can I call at 3AM to help us if this thing gushes when we remove all of these soaked clothing and bandages?!”) It’s not that bad and I’m really hoping it will just resolve on its own.

But I’m also finding it just a little hard to believe. Seriously? Apart from the hardware removal, this is usually the kind of surgery that guys have on a Tuesday and they’re back playing football that weekend. (And the hardware removal site ISN’T the site of the bleeding. So what’s up with that? I will just shake my head if this ends up needing a second surgery this week like my right knee needed last summer.)

Anyway — hope this isn’t TMI and isn’t too gross of a post. And really hoping this just resolves on its own. I’m not scared or even worried. I’m not angry or even frustrated. It’s just very strange and mostly, I feel badly that Fred has to do so much and I am so unable to help him with normal life stuff (more or less make any progress on big projects).

There’s grace for the moment, I know.
And hooray that I didn’t ruin our fake down comforter! That would’ve been such a bummer.

Hope you’re all sleeping well and not profusely bleeding—



Your friend,
Tara B.

PS
A little FaceBook UpdateTuesday at noon ...

Hooray! Miss Laura to the rescue to keep the girls so we could go to an early appointment at the surgeon’s. NO MORE BLEEDING. (!!) We’re very hopeful that this was just a strange aberration and not a repeat of last summer’s week of bleeding / second surgery required.

Thanks to everyone for the kind notes and especially for the prayers. It was particularly wonderful to be so quickly in touch with so many of you via FaceBook. I just can’t tell you how much it helped me during the long nights to know that people were praying.

We truly thought that Saturday morning we had turned the corner re: Sophia’s sickness. But this afternoon, she quickly got, ummmm, violently and profusely sick. (I’m trying not to be too gross / graphic.) So now we’re back to praying for wisdom as to whether we keep “toughing it out” or try to get her back in to see a doctor tomorrow.

One complication with all of this is that I am supposed to have knee surgery tomorrow morning — but a) I’m very concerned about being away from Soph; and b) I’m still running a fever that hovers around 101 and I can’t imagine that they’ll clear me for the surgery if I still have a fever when they do all of the pre-op stuff.

So here’s praying for a healthy Sophie AND a healthy Tara by tomorrow morning. And sorry that I have no idea when I’ll hit my blogging stride again. (Or my cleaning / writing thank you notes / working on 2010 events / book project / maintaining a home strides either.)

One day at a time, right? One hour. One breath.

We’re trusting that God will give us all that we need for whatever comes our way. (But oh! In Sophie’s extreme sickness this afternoon — as one of us helped her in the tub and the other dealt with the clean up — it sure was hard to be the grown up. I just wish I could help her and protect Ella from all of this too.)

Hope you’re all happy and healthy!

Good night and God bless,
Tara B.

We’re having one of those awful mornings around here.

Fred and I were quarreling just as he had to leave to lead staff devotions at Peacemakers. Classic.

Sophie is throwing up (and throwing up and throwing up) — so I’m washing barf buckets and doing laundry and trying to keep Ella relatively happy (and FAR away from germy kid land).

So POOF! There goes our mini-Folger's-Christmas-commercial-planned-FUN-FAMILY-AFTERNOON. ("Fred will come home early. We’ll play games and make cookies and bake our favorite Calzones and have a super fun, lovey-dovey family day.")

Yeah, right. I’ll be shocked if Fred and I can just stop fighting and Sophie can just stop throwing up.

As I wait for the day to unfold, however, I did think of something that might cheer me up! Giving things away.

I’ve been meaning to put a post up for a few days now to ask if any of you might know a family in need who would benefit from a (used, but in great condition) Medela “Pump in Style” breastpump.

I looked on ebay and since it was over $300 new, I could try to sell it for a tiny bit of cash — but we’d much rather give it away if it would bless someone.

From what I’ve read, I think they’d have to spend just a few dollars to get new tubing (because the rest can be sanitized, but the tubing can’t). And of course, by giving it to a second owner, the warranty would be voided, so it would be just an “as is” gift. But it’s really in great condition and I have all of the paperwork, etc. (Of course I do. )

So if you know someone in need, please drop me a line and let me know the details. Oh, and if they could possibly help with the shipping cost, that’d be grand, but if not, no problem. I’m trusting we can swing it if we need to.

Also — as Ella outgrows her baby things, I’m trying to keep only a tiny amount of “precious memory” items. The rest, I REALLY would like to get to someone in need. The “not in perfect condition” stuff, I’m just donating. But for the super cute practically brand-new stuff, I have feelers out in my church and through our local crisis pregnancy center, looking for someone to serve.

Maybe you know someone? If so, please do let me know. Ella’s currently popping out of 6-month-old sized things now, and I have given some things away already, but I’m looking for people with whom to share as Ella continues to grow. This would include not only just clothes, but baby gear too.

Ooooh! I just remembered that I have a HUGE STACK OF PREGNANCY / NEWBORN BABY / NAMING THE BABY / BREASTFEEDING / BABY GEAR / ETC. BOOKS that might bless someone.

I will never forget the generosity of two friends in particular who literally clothed and outfitted Sophia when she was born. They were done having children and they just lavished, lavished, lavished hand-me-downs upon us: changing table, monitors, toys, blankies, books, and CLOTHES. I truly don’t know how we would have gotten by without them.

And until now? Going through the same thing? (Being done with the baby season of life. Actually GIVING AWAY FOREVER the clothes and toys and precious, PRECIOUS items related to such a miraculous (and difficult! and terrifying! and wonderful beyond compare!) season of my life as a woman.) Well, I had no idea how hard it must have been for them AND how good it must have been too.

Different seasons. For our family? The newborn season has come to a close. (Even if we are able to adopt one day, maybe even our own little Felicity, we doubt it will be at a newborn age.)

And so ... we truly hope we can find some children and families to serve and bless. Just as we have been served and blessed.

See. I feel better already. But now I have to run to switch out to a clean bucket for my little (pathetic) love-bug. Poor thing.

Yours,
Tara B.

PS
Borrowed “Jungle Jam and Friends” AUDIOCASETTES really, really help when your six year old feels this awful. ("You have to FLIP THE TAPE OVER, dear ....")

PPS
At least we’re not supposed to be loading three tiny kids into the car for a 13+ hour drive to the Midwest in the snowstorm today (like two of our friends' families are doing). Yeesh. I really have no excuse for not having a happy attitude, don’t you think?

HT: Challies for this great video embed:



(Oh, how I pray I’m not the appendix. )

Another great read over at RadicalWomanhood as to “why church membership is vital for countering the hypocrisy that tempts us all”:

Relating to Church

In it, she relates one anecdote that reminded me of one of the many reasons why I was (and am) so attracted to my husband, Fred, when we first met. I remember discussing church membership with Fred and why it is so important and he said something to the effect of:

"If a man refuses to submit to his church leaders; if he doesn’t eagerly seek to put himself under godly authority; he will never be able to lead."

Carolyn McCulley would agree, I am sure. Here is the story she retells:

"A friend once told me that when she and her husband were married, her husband said to her, “I want you to know something. If you ever feel like I’m not listening you, that I’m not taking your counsel, or that my leadership is not servant leadership, but running roughshod over you, I want you to know that you not only have my blessing, but you have my urging to go right around me to our pastor. Because I want to care for you, and I want to love you like Christ, and if I’m not doing that, the other men around me need to know that.” I thought that was brilliant."

Me too.

Oh! That we will all learn to wisely and appropriately submit to (and wield) God-ordained authority acting within God-ordained boundaries — and appreciate it too. Leadership (headship, cover, shepherding, even the common grace protection of civil authority) is a gift of God.

I’m grateful for my leaders. I pray regularly for them. And I tremble and pray as I consider the responsibility that is on me as a leader to my two little girls. May God have mercy on me and help me to model selfless, servant leadership.

Grace to you, my friends!

Yours,
Tara B.

Because we’re thinking about (possibly) doing a Science Fair project this spring, Sophie and I have been having a blast talking about the scientific method as we go about our daily tasks.

For example, we read in our advent devotional (Jotham’s Journey — a book we’re enjoying, BTW, but also one that we’ve had to a) do a little verbal editing of because it’s a bit too intense at times for little children; and b) do a little SHARPIE editing of because just a couple of the sentences have reflected, well, some important theological terms that aren’t quite in line with our convictions / understanding of Scripture) ...

We read how Jotham had fun floating in SALT water and before you knew it, Sophie had an idea for a science experiment:

"Mom! It would be great. My question would be something like, “Does salt in water make it easier for things to float?”

We could read some books and Google it and talk to people who know and THEN I would take the position in my hypothetical that salt in water does NOT make it easier for things to float.

For experiments, we could have different things and put them in water with NO salt and then water WITH salt and we could measure how far down they go in the water. And those experiments we could do again and again to check.

What do you think?"

I think that science is COOL and FUN when you get to re-learn things with a curious almost six year old (five-years-and-364-days to be exact).

And I really enjoy helping her learn the scientific method as ONE grid for processing life. But I enjoy even more helping her to understand that while it is important, it is not the ONLY way we know things.

For example ... another time this week, she came up with this idea:

"Mom! Mom! I have the PERFECT Science Fair project. My question would be, "How did God exist before anything else?"

What a great question! And what a great opportunity for a nice little age appropriate conversation about epistemology (how we know things), the limits of the scientific method (we can’t recreate the environs necessary to ask that question; we can’t go back in time to when there was nothing, therefore, we can’t scientifically test any hypothesis exactly tied to that question), AND how other ways of answering questions are still important and trustworthy.

The example I used to help her to (begin to) understand this was the question:

"Does Momma love Sophie?"

Is this an important question? Yes! Can we answer it with the scientific method? No. Does that mean we can’t discuss it logically, observe evidence, and come to a conclusion? Of course not. That’s exactly what we do with these sorts of questions.

Totally makes me want to grab my pres. scholar and Sunday School notes from Paul Jensen and fire up my philosophy of theology brain cells again. I think I’m going to be using them in the raising of our little love muffin.

Blessings on your day, friends!

Yours,
Tara B.

PS
We’re currently batting around “Can airplanes fly?” as a possible question to be answered because Soph’s been on so many planes and every time, as she looks at the wings and engines, we end up having some sort of conversation about lift, thrust, air flow, etc. as I try to remember something about how planes fly. So if you have any good recommendations for EXPERIMENTS related to how planes fly, please email them to me.

It’s 5AM and I’m avoiding the complete, 100%, bad as it’s ever been, CHAOS of my office. (MUST clean it one of these days. It’s giving me the heebeejeebies.) AND I’m avoiding the mounting pile of “must respond to them one of these days” emails that also are starting to freak me out a little. (It’s really not like me to fail to respond to emails for MONTHS. Yeeps.)

So here is a little hodge-podge of topics for (hopefully) your reading pleasure (and to help me avoid work for a few more minutes).

(Oh. That reminds me ... I’m accompanying our church’s choir again this year for the Christmas Eve service and I thought it might be helpful to make YouTube videos of me plucking out on the piano all of the parts for the tenors and basses, just in case they wanted to practice during the week. Seemed like a nice idea, until I had to TURN PAGES while holding a BABY and a VIDEOCAMERA and PLAYING the notes. I had it pretty well balanced until the page turns. Anyway ... When I called to ask our choir director’s permission for this little project, I explained that it would help me to avoid my real duties for a an hour or so. To which she replied, "Tara. You have a strange way of avoiding work." )

OK. Here is my random gathering of topics:

- Our church (including our little family trying too!) is doing more and more each year to help the men, women, and children affected by unplanned pregnancy in our community. Today, following a link from the woman formerly known as TULIPGirl in Refomed BlogLand (Hi Alexandra!), I learned about this organization:

Feminists for Life

I must be incredibly behind the times, but I didn’t even know this organization existed. Did you?

If you’re working in this area of ministry, or supporting people and organizations that do, I encourage you to check it out. Might not jive 100% with all of your convictions, but it sure seems to have some great (thoughtful, informed, documented, well-researched, professionally presented) resources.

- I hope she doesn’t mind, but I’m grabbing a tiny EXCERPT from KLV’s quote on fb and sharing it here because MAN! She is spot-on for any age, but particularly for someone only in her twenties. In response to someone’s post about “trying to figure out her life”, KLV replied: “After looking at the way things are on this earth, here’s what I’ve decided is the best way to live ... make the most of whatever job you have for as long as God gives you life ... make the most of what God gives, both the bounty and the capacity to enjoy it, accepting what’s given and delighting in the work. It’s God’s gift! God deals out joy in the present, the now. It’s useless to brood over how long we might live. Ecclesiastes 5:18-ish”

I think her words were particularly striking to me this morning because I am mindful of so many friends who DON’T have employment right now (or who are working multiple jobs in that “under-employed” way) just to barely squeak by financially. And yet, so many of us can have such a grouchy, grousy, ungrateful attitude toward our work even though (at least for this month!) we don’t have to be afraid of where cash is going to come from for the next rent or mortgage payment (or grocery trip or gas for the car).

Work is good. Work is a blessing. KLV is right (as is her mother who is one of the happiest and hardest workers I have ever met in my life, and whose words and attitude I see reflected in this, her eldest daughter’s quote). 1 Thess 4:11, “aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands ...”

- I don’t know WHY I cringed even a little when I began to listen to this recording on the TrueWoman website: Should She Be A Doctor? Continuing to this very date, I have never read or heard anything from Carolyn McCulley that I don’t agree with (even on this VERY sensitive, important, and conflict-prone topic). If you are a young woman or are thinking about marrying a woman one day; if you are raising girls or if you KNOW any girls in your church ... please listen. (And if you’re not familiar with Carolyn McCulley’s blog and books, get to know those too!)

Soph just came downstairs in her Christmas PJ’s and hair curlers (big night tonight! her first orchestra concert), so I must scoot.

Blessings on your day!

Yours,
Tara B.

PS
Just in case you don’t believe JUST how awful my office is. ("Not Tara! She loves FILE FOLDERS! She’s all about ORDER.") Ummmmmm. Well. Yes, I am. Deep down, it’s true that my preference is a place for everything and everything in its place.

But let’s all just have a lil' gander at what real life looks like when you RUN downstairs to (pack an order / wrap a present / find a tax form) with just enough time to RUN back upstairs before, you know, some teeny tiny little creatures needs more than one arm of her mother:



(Shiver!) Today surely MUST be the day that I tackle this beast. “Cleaning and scrubbing can wait ‘til tomorrow” and “babies don’t keep”, sure. But this is getting pretty ridiculous! Plus, Fred’s home to help with the ol’ “rocking and keeping” of the baby.

(Oh, and these photos are the “very odd” part of my “Odds N Ends (Some Very Odd)” title for this post.)

I don’t know how you handle the barrage of “please send money!” emails / mailings / calls that come this time of year. Every year.

But I’ve really been trying to pray for wisdom to know what to:

- Toss without even opening. (I must admit that this is my inclination because we try to faithfully give every month to the ministries we think we should, and dramatic end-of-year appeals tend to annoy me, not motivate me to give.)

- Forward/leave out for Fred with a, “Can we? Should we? How much can we help?” request to even consider giving.

- Give on the spot. (Sometimes, I just think, “Oh! This is a MUST give. Whatever it takes. We’ll find the money. We need to give to this person / family / need / opportunity. Of course, 99% of the time, I still discuss this with Fred. But sometimes (like this week) I have to ask his forgiveness for jumping in and giving without talking with him first. Oh! That’s not wise or honoring of him. But he’s a gracious man and quick to forgive me.)

Reading this post from Carolyn McCulley (”Thankful for a Cow") is definitely in the middle category for me. (What can we STOP doing so that we can HELP MORE?)

Please do read it and enjoy it. It doesn’t ask for money. It’s just a wonderful story of mercy in a world that is often anything but merciful.

Oh. And it reminds me of my mother-in-law’s passion for helping the poor too. We really love her gift to us pretty much every Christmas of our marriage of “half a flock of chickens” or “a goat” or “a cow” given in Jesus' name to someone in need.

(People keep saying, “TEN DEGREES BELOW ZERO! You must be FREEZING!” when they talk to me. But I’m neither cold nor hungry. And my children have never lacked for clean water. Wealth wealth wealth.)

Thanks, Carolyn, for another great post. And congratulations on your new adventure being a part of the new church plant in D.C.! Very exciting.

Gratefully,
Tara B.

If you haven’t checked out Taylor Lynde’s fine art store lately, you are really missing out! (Especially if you are looking for a stunning, thoughtful, and extremely inexpensive gift for someone you love. TJ offers these smaller-sized paintings on ebay to help those of us who can’t afford gallery-sized works still get to have gallery-quality fine art in our homes.)

Please click through and check them all out — there are a number of Montana scenes that are just lovely.

But my favorite is this Calvinist Still Life. (I wish I could put a photo of it in here! TJ & Samara—if you read this, email me a photo, OK? )

In the notes for this still life, TJ writes:

"You often hear the question, “how could a good God send anyone to hell?”,

Let Eve’s forbidden fruit, the Scriptures and a flask of whisky remind us of the real question- “Why should a good, just and transcendent God allow any of us wretches to hang with Him at all?”

Thanks Lord for all i have, You are the best of company, in all of life, this'n and the one to come."

Thanks for making the world a more beautiful place, Taylor, by using your gifts to love God and love your neighbor.

We appreciate you!
– Tara B.

My dad and his wife have left for the airport.

I can’t really come up with words to describe how I am feeling right now. I’m not sure I really WANT to figure out what I am feeling.

Sometimes the layers of our hearts just get peeled back a little more and a little more, don’t they?

We had no overt conflicts. Everything went “fine.” We even talked about the gospel in very direct ways on three occasions.

But right now? I just don’t have words to say.
So I’ll sign off.

Sorry to be a non-blogger again. It’s been quite a month, eh?

Hope you are all doing well—
Thanks again for the prayers!

Yours,
Tara B.

I think it’s so funny that Fred thinks our (laid-back, easy-going, mellow little) Ella sounds like a litigator in this movie:



(But he may be right ... )

Thanks to everyone for the prayers for my mom. I really do love her so much! And I’m so glad that she survived the surgery and is stable in I.C.U.

They did have to take her into surgery in the early morning hours because of more bleeding in the night. And she did receive four units of blood (which sure sounds like a lot to me). But it seems like things are going to be OK as long as she can keep the infections away and get that wound to heal.

I am grateful. I am also mindful that life is short and all of us must face our own mortality and the deaths of those we love. But I am rejoicing through my tears that I didn’t have to say goodbye to my mother today.

Hope your Sabbath was God-centered and restful!

Yours,
Tara B.

I would greatly appreciate your prayers for my mom, Kathy, as she was taken to the hospital by ambulance today for unexplained and profuse bleeding, transfused, admitted, and will be having surgery for an aneurysm in her abdomen tomorrow.

All this after fighting off a MRSA infection following an arterial bypass surgery last month and dealing with a wound that won’t heal (and requires daily wound care by an in-home nurse).

Poor mom! I know it’s going to be a long night in her hospital room tonight. (I keep trying to reach her just to check in one more time, but so far I haven’t been able to.)

Your prayers would be greatly appreciated!

Thanks and g'nite!

Love,
Tara B.

UPDATE as of Friday, December 4: She’s doing better and is HOME! Still fighting a staph infection, but (hooray!) it isn’t MRSA. Is uncomfortable from the surgeries, but hanging in there. THANK YOU for praying. Love—t

Ella and I have been hanging out with Grandpa Joe as he watches old Burn Notice shows:



If you’re not familiar with Burn Notice, it’s a television show that has some elements similar to The Bourne Identity (but less violent), good ol' Harrison Ford/save the day movies and the old MacGyver television show ... a smart, highly trained guy works for the underdog and is extremely resourceful; uses force/violence when necessary, but prefers to resolve things by other means. Total brain candy. Nothing redemptive—and BE FOREWARNED!—immodest dress (set in Miami) and some inappropriate/risque scenes. If that’s offensive to you—don’t watch!

But if you like action/adventure that’s well-written and well-acted, and you know how to mute and fast forward, you might want to check it out. Ella and I have surely had fun chllin' out with Grandpa Joe and watching the show.

Since Burn Notice is in NO WAY appropriate for Sophia, we’ve been passing our time with Cranium, Blokus, and a zillion chapters in On the Banks of Plum Creek. I think we’re going to finish it tomorrow.

Oh, and we also got to read the parable of the prodigal son with my dad and discuss it with him, too. So that’s been great (and far more redemptive). And last night we had an interesting discussion about what it means to be saved and justified by faith alone (not by works).

Thanks for all of the continued prayers! Hope your holiday weekend is going well too—

Yours,
Tara B.

We made it home Wednesday evening.

All four flights were crying-baby-FREE, praise the good Lord.

Ella just cooed and smiled and charmed planeloads of tired, cranky people. Including her mother.

Sophie (as usual) simultaneously read some Narnia book while listening to another Narnia book being read on her Ipod. That kid sure has an interesting brain.

Back to real life now—

Gratefully,
Tara B.

PS
Does anyone else look this happy on a tiny prop-jop-commuter flight?

Walking through the tailgate area outside of Candlestick Park last Thursday for the 49ers-Bears NFL game was quite a cultural experience for me. For the most part, I really tried to just be in the moment, relax, and experience something new and interesting.

But every few feet, I would instinctively cringe in response to the extremely coarse / vile / crude language and sounds being blasted from various speakers. Of course, I have known intellectually for years that “out there” is an entire culture of music filled with blasphemous M*F* language and s*xual sounds. But reading about something in an article and having it forced into my ears and mind against my will at such a decibel level? Well. It quickly went past the level of an “interesting cultural experience” to something that grieved my soul deeply.

So you can imagine how blessed I was this morning to read Carolyn McCulley’s recent blog post on Media Matters and receive not only encouragement but a tangible, practical, strategic way to help too.

Please do read the entire article! Here is just a snippet to tempt you:

"I have a heavy concern that the “screen generation” is being fed more harmful images and narratives than uplifting ones ...

For example, this is how my day has gone so far. I checked the news, and saw stories about a 15-year-old girl who was brutally gang-raped by by anywhere between 7 to 10 men outside of a high school while at least a dozen others stood by and watched it without interfering, and a sadist who allegedly raped, murdered, and stowed the bodies of at least 10 women in his home ...

I then started work by listening to a media panel about “transmedia” efforts ... One of the panelists spoke without shame of working with a clothing company that sponsored an interactive game about a stripper. The gamer controls the stripper’s actions, which this media expert cheerfully said allowed the player to either make the stripper engage “in the most depraved actions” or “save her” ...

Listening to this panel, I wanted to scream: Why can’t we connect the dots here? Why is it that as a culture in the developing world, we put our heads in the sand and vociferously protest there is no connection between the media we consume and our actions? ...

Do we think we can allow people the fantasy of degrading and brutalizing others (especially women) and argue that this thought life will not eventually affect behavior?!

What can we do to change this thinking? I want to encourage each of you to become media activists. Please protest media that undermines the safety and dignity of women and girls, in particular, through social media and your wallets. Teach your children to understand that what they feast their eyes upon will become normalized to them. Let retail vendors know of your displeasure. And please support media that challenges these denigrating, dehumanizing trends by producing edifying content. I’m not arguing for cheesy, unsophisticated content in the name of being positive, but well-produced content that elevates human dignity.

That’s what I’m trying to do through Citygate Films. I have three documentaries in various stages of production, with one nearly finished with principal photography. A NOTE OF HOPE explores the idea that music reveals a lot about a culture. I’ll never forget what one of the African-American musicians in this film said after touring the Cape Coast slave castle in Ghana:

"If only our young adults could understand that they are descendants of those who survived these brutal dungeons, they wouldn’t accept prison as a normal passage of life."

One of the earliest song forms in America was the traditional Negro spiritual, songs that spoke of faith and trust in a just God who would redeem such harsh circumstances for His own glory. Those songs eventually became the code for the Underground Railroad and eventually the soundtrack for the civil rights movement. But now we have songs that celebrate thug culture and sexist, demeaning views of women. The jazz musicians who participated in this film want to see music used to elevate humanity, not celebrate our darkest drives. And their commitment to use their music to do so is the theme of this documentary."

I just made my (non tax deductible) gift to A NOTE OF HOPE. And now I’m going to sign off and pray for dear, brilliant Carolyn McCulley and her entire team.

May God be glorified!

Blessings to you and yours,
Tara B.

PS
Want to start your day with some sweet gospel jazz? Enjoy!

HT: Pastor Anyabwile at PureChurch for linking to this great post by Al Mohler on The Marks of Manhood.

He makes thirteen points that are all worth reading and reflecting on:

1. Spiritual maturity sufficient to lead a wife and children

2. Personal maturity sufficient to be a responsible husband and father

3. Economic maturity sufficient to hold an adult job and handle money

4. Physical maturity sufficient to work and protect a family

5. Sexual maturity sufficient to marry and fulfill God’s purposes

6. Moral maturity sufficient to lead as example of righteousness

7. Ethical maturity sufficient to make responsible decisions

8. Worldview maturity sufficient to understand what is really important

9. Relational maturity sufficient to understand and respect others

10. Social maturity sufficient to make a contribution to society

11. Verbal maturity sufficient to communicate and articulate as a man

12. Character maturity sufficient to demonstrate courage under fire

13. Biblical maturity sufficient to lead at some level in the church

I never would have been able to articulate it at the time, but sixteen years ago when I met and was immediately attracted to Fred, I am sure that I did evaluate his potential to be my husband along very similar criteria.

I encourage you to read and enjoy the entire article. It might prove to be a good starting point for conversations with both young men and young women.

Thanking God for mature men who befriended and shepherded me in the church when I was a teenager and young adult—they really modeled what godly manhood is all about.

And thanking God for my beloved hubby—

Yours,
Tara B.

"Worship is the submission of all of our nature to God. It is the quickening of the conscience by his holiness; the nourishment of mind with his truth; the purifying of imagination by his beauty; the opening of the heart to his love; the surrender of will to his purpose-—-all this gathered up in adoration, the most selfless emotion of which our nature is capable." William Temple

(HT: RZIM Slice 2070)

THANKS SO MUCH, everyone, for emailing me your insights (and documents!) re: church building usage. I am so grateful!

And I’m really hoping to get at least a brainstorming/draft document to our church administrator even while I’m out here in California. (Although I have to admit that taking walks, eating out on the back deck (with the ocean/forest view), and playing Wii Fit with Aunt Kali & Uncle Fred & Sophie has totally distracted me today.)

Needless to say, I could really use your help with this project. Specifically, if you could share with me the following information, I’d really appreciate it ...

Pretend I am in charge of a civic organization in your community (or a parachurch Christian ministry or whatever) and I’d like to use your building:

- How would I “apply” to the church for building use. (Who would I talk with? What questions would I need to answer? What forms would I fill out?)

- How would the church decide if my group could use the building? (Priority to members? Any constraints or priority given re: theology (open to anyone?) / risk of injury to persons or damage to the building?)

- Would I need to pay for use of the building? Pay for any staff time (unlocking the building / cleaning the building)?

I have to say, based on the comments I’ve received privately from people, this can obviously be a contentious and conflict-causing (peacemaking-opportunity?) issue.

Thanks again for helping me to help my beloved church!

Back to Wii now ... I really want to dethrone my Fred from his first place position on the skiing game.

G'nite,
Tara B.

If you’ve read this blog for any length of time, then you know that I am married to a husband who models servant leadership. Fred is extraordinarily quick to set aside his own comfort in order to serve me—and he has (happily and eagerly) sacrificed greatly over many a weekend so that I could go and serve at various women’s events.

In many ways, his two or three days “home with the baby” (and now, “home with the five year old and baby”) have been very helpful for our parenting. Fred has always known the ins and outs of caring for our children. (I don’t have to leave him a list of foods / meals / routines / etc.) The girls adore him and their hearts are knit close to his. Plus, he has a keen insight into the sheer mental and physical exhaustion that comes from spending hour after hour (after HOUR) with young children—because he experiences it himself. So that helps him to be even more grateful and more helpful re: my efforts to serve our family at home.

This past weekend (when I was in Texas), he made a comment about all of this that still makes me chuckle. It went something like this:

"It really isn’t hard to take care of the girls. The problem comes when you try to get ANYTHING ELSE done."

Isn’t that the truth?

Like today for me, for example ...

Eleanor was her typical calm, sweet, adorable baby self. Sophia was diligent, cheerful, and enjoyable. But I was still extremely stressed as I went throughout my day. And now? I am so tired I can’t even spell tired.

All because I had some duties that required my attention that went beyond my normal sphere of “just” taking care of the girls. They were all positive stressors (some of them were VERY positive stressors). Nothing bad happened. It’s just life. Real life. Life that requires us to, yes, take care of the children WHILE doing other things. (If only we could just sit and hold / play with / read to / be ready to BY ... our children.

Some days, that’s the case. Often it’s not.

And it’s OK to be this tired occasionally. But it’s also a yellow flag to me to keep checking in on the things that I do that require my time and attention outside of my primary duties at home and in my local church. My children will only be little once. I want to be HERE with them. I LOVE to be here with them. (While, yes, I prayerfully hope I am living with a missional, service-oriented, God-centered, other-centered focus.)

It’s really a wisdom call, isn’t it? That’s yet another reason why I am so grateful that I have Fred and church leaders and friends who help me. “In the counsel of many there is great wisdom.” (See Proverbs 15:22)

Amen!

And G'nite!

From your exhausted, but grateful friend,
Tara B.

I tried to post some photos from our trip to Yellowstone on Wednesday, but for some reason I couldn’t do so from our hotel. If you follow me on FaceBook, you’ve already seen these. But if not, here you go ...

It’s super fun traveling with two professional photographers. This is the view we get a lot:



We got VERY close to an Elk herd—very close in that SAFE distance, of course. We heard them bugling and got to see them ford the river when the male moved the herd. Very cool.



This was actually NOT Sophie’s first time in Yellowstone. Samara and I took the kids (William in utero for Samaralara) to Yellowstone with my mom AND our Golden Retriever back in 2004. Now THAT was an adventuresome road trip!



Yellowstone really is amazingly beautiful:





I enjoy Yellowstone, but I really dislike long car rides! (Long in that “we can get to Yellowstone National Park anytime we’d like because it’s only three hours away” way.)

Still, the time went fast at the end of our trip because I wrote a letter to Ella telling her all about her birth story and how much I love being her mother. I also updated our estate planning documents—but that doesn’t sound nearly as sweet and relational.

Signing off for now–

Love,
Tara B.

(& Fred & Sophia & Ella)

Great news!

Tim Keller’s Prodigal God resources are now available!

If you haven’t already read this book and shared it with others, you are going to LOVE it. And having led a group of women through it already WITHOUT the study helps, I’m particularly excited that now there are guides/questions/etc. available.

Enjoy!

We are so enjoying our visit with Joe and his beautiful fiance, Rachelle.

(Joe, you may recall, is the ONLY reason why my video series, Living the Gospel in Relationships, EXISTS. He labored for hundreds and hundreds of hours, unpaid, to complete all of the post-production and editing of the series. Without him the project never would have gotten started and it NEVER would’ve been completed.)

(Plus, Joe is just a dear, dear friend who never fails to make Fred and me laugh. )

Here are some pics from our day ...





Fun stuff! We’re hoping to make it to West Yellowstone on Wednesday, but these record cold temperatures may bring freezing rain and snow (neither of which are conducive to long road trips on mountain passes) ... so we’ll have to see how the week progresses.

Hope your day was a blessed one too!

Yours,
Tara B.

I’m home safe and sound (even with the snowfall and a tiny plane landing in Billings)—hooray! Thanks for all of the nice notes and especially the prayers too. I truly appreciate it.

Ella is asleep in my arms as I type this and Sophie keeps coming in to share more of her adventures with me. (Currently, she’s created a “fireplace” out of tinkertoys in front of the heating vent in her room. “So the heat is just like a REAL fireplace. Creative, don’t you think, Mom?” I’ll say!)



I was doing a quick Google search of my past blogs to try to find something on church leadership / how to know if your church leaders are abusive. (Does anyone remember when I wrote on that topic? I can’t find it ...)

And I stumbled on these quotes from one of my many readings of C. Plantinga’s (AMAZING!) book, Not The Way It’s Supposed to Be–A Breviary of Sin:

"We keep company with God only by adopting God’s purposes for us and following through on them even when it is difficult or initially painful to do so ...

None of our lives is an accident.
We have been called into existence, expected, awaited, equipped, and assigned.

We have been called to undertake the stewardship of a good creation, to create sturdy and buoyant families that pulse with the glad give-and-take of the generations.

By the sins of attack, we vandalize shalom.
By the sins of flight we abandon it.

When we flee responsibility, we turn our backs on God’s presence and blessing and begin the slow process of converting ourselves into derelicts.

We “hate the light and do not come to the light” (John 3:20)

[BUT!] Don’t forget the resolve of God! God wants shalom and will pay any price to get it back.

Human sin is stubborn but not as stubborn as the grace of God and not half so persistent, not half so ready to suffer to win its way."

Time to re-re-read that book. Again.

Hope your Sunday was a blessed one!

Sending my love,
Tara B.

Oh! What a joy it was to spend these two days with these amazing El Paso (and New Mexico and Mexico and apparently a bunch of other cities in Texas too) women. How precious they are! It was, as always, a joy to even TRY to encourage them.

But OH MY STARS I AM SO SICK. At first I was very concerned that it might be mastitis and I might be a) visiting the E.R. tonight; and b) unable to fly home tomorrow. But I’m pretty sure it’s just a flu bug.

I don’t think I’ve ever felt SO bad while teaching. In the second to last session? I actually thought I was going to throw up and pass out the room was spinning so much. When the (world’s KINDEST!) event host touched my arm on the 15 minute break I had, she said, “You’re soaked! Do you have a fever?” I said, “No. I’m sure it’s just because the room is so hot.” And then I learned that, apparently, the room was FREEZING ... but not for me.

(She was so gracious, she even said, “Let’s not do the last session. Let’s just get you to bed!” How kind is she to be more concerned about me than her event, eh? But I thought I could power through and I did. I shortened the last session by 30 minutes on the fly and did NOT teach well, but at least I covered most of the material.)

So anyway, I’m in a hotel room in El Paso VERY happy to be lying down and very hopeful that I can get through the night and make my flights tomorrow morning.

It’s so awful to be sick! And then to be sick away from home ... what a drag. But it’s nothing like poor Pastor Jason’s projectile vomiting when we co-taught that marriage retreat last spring on the east coast and he got food poisoning, so I don’t want to complain.

I do want to lie back down, though, so I need to sign off. I’ll close by saying this ...

If you’re ever going to be sick as a retreat speaker, do so in El Paso at Christ the King with Pastor Chuck and his gracious wife Marivi as your event hosts. Because I just can’t tell you how dumb I feel getting sick! But I know that they genuinely care about me and would do anything to help.

Such grace!

G'nite and God bless,
Tara B.

PS
After I typed this, I remembered the time I was even SICKER than this at an event. It was one of my very first women’s events EVER and they had flown me all the way to ALASKA. I literally got so sick that I completely, utterly, 100% LOST MY VOICE. Not the textbook way to serve if you are the SPEAKER. But just like here, those Alaskan women were so incredibly kind and I did manage to finish the event. But boy was it hard!

Thank you, Lord, for this pillow and bottle of cold water. G'nite again! Love—t

If you don’t already know the story of (Peacemaker staff members) Rick and Annette Friesen and the adoption of their beautiful daughter, Christina, you may really enjoy this video:

Flight Leads to Girl’s Adoption

Actually? Even if you know the story, you’ll be blessed to re-hear it, I am sure.

What a beautiful picture of God’s adoption of His children! (Ephesians 1 says that He chose us in Him before the creation of the world. Just as Annette chose to love and adopt Christina even before she had even ever SEEN her.)

I will never forget when Christina came into our church family. What a gift of God she is to US! And I’ve been told that the very day Rick and Annette took her home, they walked her around the house and pointed out pretty much everything and said, “See that chair? That’s YOURS, Christina. And those books? YOURS. This bed is yours and these CDs are yours. Oh! And here are your brothers and sisters and cousins and a Golden Retriever puppy too. This is your home. Forever.”

Grace grace grace! I respected Rick and Annette way before they met and adopted Christina. But I have to say ... my heart SWELLED with love for them (even though I don’t know them very well) when I heard this story.

Hope you enjoy the video! (And HT to CrazyBrittleGlass for the link on FB.)

Yours,
Tara B.

(Only if you want to make your daughter deliriously happy, I guess.)



(I thought her face was going to split open this morning, she was grinning so broadly when she saw the snow. “Mom! Mom! Would you PLEASE help me to get my SNOW SHOVEL down?!?” She really loves that thing.)

Sorry for the poor photo quality, Fred has the camera with him in Illinois as he spends time with his mom and brothers at GG’s memorial service today, so I did my best to figure out my cell phone camera.

We’re off to see Ella’s doctor in a few minutes—
And then we’d probably better stop and find some new boots for Sophia. She had to really stuff her little tosies into this pair.

Happy Monday to you!

Yours,
Tara B.

Just a quick note to let you all know that Ella slept through the entire night! (But it happened to be the very night that Sophia got sick and was up six to eight times, poor love. So I’m still a very tired Momma Tara.)

And also wanted to thank you for praying for my beloved mother-in-law and her mother, Great Grandma ("GG"), as GG went Home to be with the Lord last night and as far as anyone could tell, did not experience pain at the end. What a praise! (But, sadly, the services need to be held in just a few days, so only one of us grand-daughters-in-law and one family’s great-grandchildren can be present. Sophie and I are particularly sad about this, but so happy that she is enjoying Heaven right now!)



(That is one of my favorite photos of them. It was taken last December on the very day we told GG that I was pregnant with Eleanor! She prayed for all of us regularly and I know that, in particular after we lost our baby in 2007, GG has been faithfully praying for us re: having another baby. And I truly believe she prayed Ella into LIFE this year!)

'Course, all of this means that having just about gotten Fred unpacked from his week away for the Peacemaker Conference, I now need to pack him up for this week away to be with his family. And within hours of his return next week, I need to leave for Texas for my last women’s event of the fall.

So I guess we’ll see each other in November ...

Not to complain, of course. I’m guessing you military women (who REALLY know what TRUE sacrifice and separation is!) must have a hard time with us “my husband is away for two weeks how will I keep small children alive!?!” women. Thanks in advance for your grace!

Because I really am wondering how the next two weeks are going to go with Sophia sick, Fred gone, and me having to leave too.

Oh, and get this! At the allergist this morning, I was (gently) rebuked because apparently, I should have GONE BACK SOONER when one of the allergens itched SO BADLY Monday and Tuesday. I just thought it was doing its thing and we’d find out what I’m allergic to. Well ... yes. We now know what I’m allergic to, but I’m also having to deal with a little wound care because I unwittingly let it develop into an open sore that now needs to heal.

Calgon take me away!

(My sister and I are thinking about printing up t-shirts that say something to the effect of, “Well. Apparently I’m not going to make it.” But of course we shall.)

Hope your week is going well and is not quite as eventful as ours—

All the best,
Tara B.

PS
On an interesting note, a website entitled Christian Prudent Women linked over to me today. I don’t know the author or much about the site, but you may want to check it out. Oh, and HELLO if you’re visiting from there! We’re glad you stopped by.

PPS
Don’t forget that you can follow this blog on FaceBook and have the feed automatically updated on your FB account. One less stop to make in your day!

We’re all thrilled to have Fred back home, of course, but I’ve been a little surprised at the difficulties in our readjustment period too. There simply aren’t any miscommunications, spats, or “expectation-experience gaps” to navigate when you’re making all of the daily decisions yourself. Tiny inconveniences, of course. We would never want it any other way. But still ... I’m needing to flex a little.

I’m also REALLY REALLY uncomfortable because my BACK is coated in medical patches, tape, and all sorts of allergens. We’re hoping to figure out what exactly it is that I keep reacting to whenever I have surgery so that we can avoid it in the future. I’m happy about that, but OH MY STARS! It’s going to be an uncomfortable four days.

But here’s the real reason for the title of this post ...

I just discovered that Fred is a really, really good RECORDER PLAYER. Sophie and he are downstairs right now, learning fingerings, figuring out notes, and playing duets. Fred is also, apparently, reliving some Christmas pageant from 1978 when he and his brother did a duet of “O Holy Night.” On recorders.

Here’s my real question: What does it say about me that I’m even MORE attracted to him now that I know about this hidden recorder talent?

(We would’ve been quite a little geeky couple in junior high or high school, don’t you think?)

Oh, and HAPPY TWO MONTH birthday, Eleanor Marie. You light up our lives with your cuddles and grins and lovies. (And your sister REALLY loves to be matchies with you.)

Hope your week is a blessed one, everyone!

Yours,
Tara B.

“If a person has impeccable theology but no love and no joy, I am suspicious of his theology. He hasn’t understood the first thing.” Andree Seu

We had a great day today. Our friend came over and stayed all the way through dinner (which was particularly helpful as I had to run out for two doctor appointments during the day). She even happily had another stellar “fit for a 5 year old” REAL FRIEND dinner with us of (I’m so embarrassed to even say this!): a corn dog and a bowl of fruit. (Actually the fruit was great; but a corn dog? Oh, Tara. Not cool.)

Two sweet highlights from my day included finding clearance and close-to-matchies cream shirts to go under the dresses Grandma Chris just made for the girls AND enjoying a brief walk with our friend, Miss Dianne, Lilikoi, Ella, and Sophie. We were quite an invasion force moving down the sidewalk—but it was so great to get some fresh air, enjoy the fall evening, and just have a little activity.

Tomorrow Sophia and I plan to have a girls' day PAJAMA DAY. Other than a little diligence re: Bible and orchestra music, we’re taking a break for our duties and just enjoying each other, Ella, and some new library books and some new Magic Treehouse CDs. Oh, and I’m going to tackle a few pockets of resistance around the chaos and disorder of our home. I have a new plan I’m going to try out with a couple of our busiest (and most clutter-prone!) areas. I’ll let you know how/if it works out.

Hope your Thursday was a blessed one!

G'nite,
Tara B.

I’ve only poked around for 2 minutes, so I have no idea if there is objectionable stuff ... so caveat emptor!

But thanks to CakeWrecks, I enjoyed stumbling onto this website/blog and I’m hoping to read more whenever (if ever?) have a few minutes to poke around and read things like blogs:

The Pioneer Woman

I just finished packing up ALL of the remaining orders from Iowa ... so hopefully you will be receiving them before too long.

Only one week late! I’m glad to get them in the mail to you. PLEASE let me know if I made any errors. My brain is very fuzzy these days and I promise to do everything I can to fix things ASAP if I’ve messed anything up.

I’m going to pack Fred for his trip to the Peacemaker Conference now and then hopefully get a little sleep tonight.

I would really appreciate your prayers for my mom as she found out today that she has to have bypass surgery on an artery in her leg. I’m sure it’s a frightening night for her alone in the hospital and I’m really praying that the Lord will comfort her.

You know, my mom is truly one of my dearest friends and I’m so grateful that I’ve gotten to be a mom with her still alive. I’ve been grateful for every day I’ve had with her as an adult friend. (Yes, even the day of the “Oops! Gave away my email” mess up. )

I don’t know what God’s plan is for the rest of her days, but I’m mostly praying (of course) that her faith will be in finished work of Christ. Alone. Fully. What a joy it would be to have fellowship with her in Heaven for eternity.

Much to be grateful for today around here—but I must sign off now or I will be a complete pile of mush brain at co-op tomorrow. (And Tuesdays are long enough days even with a little sleep.)

Blessings to you!

G'nite,
Tara B.

I’m hesitant to even mention this because I feel like such a hypochondriac. But my friend reminded me today that if you actually have real things wrong with you, you’re not a hypochondriac. SO ... I guess I’m just a falling apart HIGH MAINTENANCE woman because today I just barely avoided being sent in for what would’ve been my fourth surgery of the summer. Blech!

Apparently, my body felt like giving me one tiny (but painful and inconvenient because of all of the blood) little challenge called a pyogenic granuloma. It’s just a little (but growing) thingy (official medical term is “growth”) that bleeds and bleeds and SHOULDN’T be painful, but since I waited, oh, a MONTH or so to actually talk to my doctor about it, mine is extremely painful because it’s INFECTED.

The normal way to get rid of it is a minor surgery to cut it out, cauterize, and stitch back up. But since mine is on my index finger, under the nail, at the tip (which we humans use A LOT in daily life), they decided to first try freezing it with liquid nitrogen. Four times. (I wept and wept it hurt so badly.)

The good news is that it was easy to diagnose and I don’t feel super-stupid for having gone in to the doctor. (I felt really dumb making the appointment, “Uhhh—I have this red thing on my finger that keeps bleeding and hurts.” Seems like the kind of thing you just tough out, doesn’t it? But when Fred found out it’s been openly bleeding for a MONTH, he pretty much “ordered” me to get in to see someone.)

The bad news is, it’ll probably come back and then we’ll have to treat it again / do something else to treat it. (Plus, it’s really really REALLY sore now having been frozen/burnt. And it’s still bleeding (of course), so that makes all of life—INCLUDING TYPING—very painful and hard.)

Hence, not a lot of ol' blogging from ol' falling-apart-Tara. And not a lot of cleaning either (boy is my house dusty!). But all in all, it’s a teeny tiny inconvenience compared to the real suffering going on in the world. So I’m trying to keep a happy heart as I wince and bleed away—and I wanted to make some lame excuse for not blogging.

Hope your weekend is a blessed one AND that you do NOT google the term “pyogenic granuloma”. It is SO gross! I can’t imagine why ANYONE would EVER want to be a dermatologist. BLECH.

G'nite and God bless!

Yours,
Tara B.

Just a quick note to the 97 of you from Iowa who placed orders with me this past weekend ...

I am SO very sorry to have to let you know that for some of you, there will be a tiny delay even for the orders that don’t include that way-too-popular-5-CD-set I mentioned was already completely sold out of on Saturday.

I worked into the night and was at the post office as soon as they opened this morning—and I was able to ship SOME of your orders. But Peacemakers just emailed me and told me that now they TOO will be delayed in getting me your resources. (I feel just terrible about inconveniencing you this way! I truly thought I had given them sufficient warning that I would need some stock, but with their Peacemaker Conference coming up in just a few days, even the best efforts of everyone there still require some extra time.)

If a delay is too inconvenient for you and you’d like your order canceled, please just drop me an email and let me know. I want you to be completely happy with these resources and I’ll do everything in my power to get you them just as soon as I can.

Thanks much!

Yours,
Tara B.

PS
Just a little UPDATE that I was able to get MANY of the resources later in the day and after FILLING the trunk of our tiny little car and making three trips to the post office, I have many of the orders en route to Iowa. I’m still waiting on the 5-CD sets and a few other resources, but MOST of the orders are on the way. Thanks for your gracious patience! – tkb

I really don’t know what to say. So I’ll let PalmTreePundit and PalmGirl say and draw my heart.

Have you heard about this ministry?

The Praise Factory

It’s late, so I’m not going to poke around too much more tonight. But I’m definitely going to bookmark this site and return!

I think my body needed to re-boot or something because, even though I took the smallest amount of drugs I’ve taken all week, I slept and slept and SLEPT pretty much all day yesterday. Then I felt like I could’ve slept MORE. And when I finally tried to move around even just a little bit, AGAIN I had a grouchy heart at all of the chaos & dust & dirty kitchen counters, etc.

!!!

Oh how frustrated I can be by ME. I am just SO far away from the woman I want to be.

(How grateful I am that God and my family members don’t give up on me, especially when my rough spots are revealed. Although Fred and I did have a doozy of a fight Saturday evening when we were BOTH extremely frustrated.)

Still, there were sweet evidences of grace in my day too:

- I unwrapped my knee for the first time since the second surgery, and there was NO active bleeding! HOORAY! It was extremely red and SORE—oh MY! but is it sore. But I think we’ve turned the corner and can just concentrate on healing now, so that’s great.

- Sophie and I got to enjoy some cuddle and reading time when Fred went to run errands. We’re into “On the Banks of Plum Creek” now in the Little House series and we both just LOVE it.

- When I started calling around to friends on Saturday night to try to find someone who could drive Sophie, Ella and me to church (because otherwise we would have to go 90 minutes early because Fred has worship team practice and I just didn’t think I could keep a newborn happy for an extra 90 minutes), my friend Karen said that they’d be happy to send a driver for me, but then she asked me, "WHY I was thinking about going to church AT ALL?!"

And right in that moment, on that phone call, I just started to weep.

It was like her words gave me permission to STOP; to NOT try to figure out a way to hobble around Sunday morning by myself, trying to get two little girls ready AND myself ready and THEN take care of them both during a LONG church service wherein I would need to sit upright with my knee NOT elevated for 90+ minutes; and if one of them had a need, I would be unable to move quickly to help them AND I would be completely unable to LEAVE church because I would be dependent on someone else to drive us.

And Karen said, “STAY HOME. Rest. Listen to something edifying. Don’t even think about trying to go to church.”

You know, until that moment, I hadn’t even CONSIDERED not going to church. But once I thought about it for even a few minutes, it just seemed so ridiculous to me that I had even been thinking about trying to do it.

In talking about it with Sophie and Fred, they both agreed that “the girls” should just stay home. And Soph piped up with the sweet idea of, “We can have corporate worship at home, Mom! We can read the Bible and sing hymns and pray. It’ll be great!”

So I’m missing church today. And knowing that I didn’t have to try to be active and functional in the morning, I’ve had Ella since the 4AM shift started and Fred has gotten to have some sleep. (So I actually think I’ve fallen asleep twice while typing this blog entry! Not a good sign ...)

Hope you have a wonderful Sabbath!

Sending my love,
Tara B.

Just a note to let you know that I’m about to be rolled into surgery again—this time to hopefully identify and cauterize/close off the vein that just won’t stop bleeding.

Fred has Ella and Sophie at home, so I’m toughing it out here in the E.R. by myself and will have to come out of general anesthesia alone too. (That’s always so disorienting.)

But I’m not feeling scared—so that’s a huge answer to prayer. I’m actually feeling hopeful that this thing can get taken care of and we can move on with our lives.

Thanks for the prayers and encouraging notes too!

Yours,
Tara B.

Just a quick note to let you know that we’re home and the doctor wasn’t too concerned—but he (and the nurse who removed the blood soaked bandages) both agreed that it was wise for us to have gone in. It really was incredible how much blood there was—apparently there must be an unhappy vein in there.

Oh, and if you don’t yet follow me on FaceBook and you have no idea what I’m talking about, this was the post Fred & I put up from the E.R. a couple of hours ago:

"It’s 10:00PM and we’re at the Emergency Room. My “should just be three tiny little steri-strips over 1/4 inch cuts” wound care has, for some unknown reason, completed SOAKED my bandages in dark blood. So we’re here to a) get things checked out; and b) get some help redressing these wounds b/c OH MY STARS, that’s a lot of blood. Thanks for your prayers."

I was actually embarrassed to have gone in (I hate to waste doctor/nurse/E.R. time!) right up until the doctor was done, had left the room, and my knee started gushing ridiculously dark blood again. Scary! But good to have happened right there, right then. I’m chalking that up to prayer.

So now we’re home. I’m holding my therapy right here on my boppy (I was SO stressed in the E.R.! My BP was 155/102 and usually I’m a 108/69 kind of gal) and hoping that Fred and my mother in law can get some sleep soon. Oh, and me too I guess.

Here’s to hopin' this blog will return to its regularly scheduled programming one of these days ...

Thanks for all of your grace! G'nite and God bless—

Yours,
Tara B.

Just a quick note to thank you for the prayers and sweet notes of encouragement too! I can’t tell you how much it means to me to hear from you all, especially when (like yesterday) I feel melancholy and scared. God truly has created us for community (with Him, with others) and He really does minister His mercy so often through people. So thanks again!

Everything went great this morning with my knee surgery and I really hopeful that I’ll be able to recover quickly and well. A few more days of rest and then on to some HEALTH GOALS. (I obviously have a long way to go to continue to work on being a healthier and more active woman. Sophie & Ella sure are great motivators when it comes to thinking about applying myself (again!) to healthier living.)

But not today. Today, other than a few quad sets and other mild physical therapy goals that I do while sitting, I’m giving myself permission to just REST with my pillows, ice packs, and fuzzy-brain-inducing-pain-meds. Oh, and occasionally cuddle with the world’s sweetest five year old, two-week-old, and hubby too. I am a very blessed woman.

Hope your Monday is going well! Grandma Chris and Sophie are sewing downstairs; Fred and Eleanor are snoozing right next to me in the bed; Lilikoi is COMPLETELY freaked out by my crutches, poor love, and won’t come near me when I hobble around.

Signing off for now–

Gratefully,
Tara B.

Sorry that I wasn’t clear! (I’ve gotten too many emails and FB notes and blog comments from too diverse a group of people to “blame” anyone but myself for all of the, “What surgery tomorrow?!” questions.)

I have to have a teeny-tiny-but-REALLY-HURTS-when-it-bumps-up-against-my-knee-cap bone chip removed from my right knee tomorrow.

It really shouldn’t be a big deal. Unlike my other (three!) knee surgeries, this one should be very minor and easy to recover from. Up until today, I was actually looking forward to it because it will hopefully help me to be more active and healthy.

(But today, I think it’s just because of physical and mental exhaustion, I’m feeling a little scared.)

ANYWAY ... 6AM arrival for 7:20AM surgery. (Just like for Ella! Only this time, I’ll only leave with a cryo-cuff and crutches, no sweet little baby.) And hopefully my excruciating knee pain will subside for the first time in, oh, nine months or so.

Thanks again for your patience with my non-blogging-status. One of these days, I’ll pull it together, right?

Sending my love,
Tara B.

How easy it was to get ready for church this morning with my little helper ...



And how happy Ella was in Uncle Fred’s arms this afternoon ...



(Still trying to come up for air around here. Hoping to really blog again one of these days soon ...)

We were so blessed to have friends stop by on Tuesday ...





And how fun that Ella has some adorable NEW little clothes and toys too! I thought she would only be 100% hand-me-downs from big sissy Sophie (which would’ve been 100% A-OK, of course!), but how fun to have sweet little new baby gifts too ...



We are all REALLY hoping that the doctors might release me one day early and allow me to go home TODAY (Wednesday). I was so motivated to pass all of my little “see, you can let me go home!” milestones that (yes, along with REST), I was walking laps in the hallway and even showering by myself and getting the bandages off yesterday. (Which may not sound like a big accomplishment to most of you, but if you’ve had a c-section, then you know that those two things are pretty much like climbing Mt. Everest.)

Ella continues to nurse well, sleep well, and look at us adorably with her gorgeous dark eyes ...



It’s all so astoundingly, breathtakingly sweet. Just like the past five years with Sophia, I am treasuring every moment I have with this little one and striving to not take one breath for granted.

(Oh! And how I miss my Sophie bear. Tiny visits are just not cutting it. We’re meant to be wrapped in each other’s arms way more than we’ve gotten to be the last two days. That’s OK, of course, but I’m really praying that I might get to go HOME today if the doctors determine that it is appropriate/wise.)

Hope your Wednesday is a blessed one! Thanks again for the sweet notes, comments, FaceBook Hugs, etc.

With love from a happy, exhausted Momma,
Tara B.

Just a quick note to let you know that I do think that Ella and I will be up for visitors on Tuesday (and of course we’d love to see some friends!) ...

But if you could possibly keep your visits SHORT, that would be appreciated.

Also, I’m sure this is obvious, but you may have to wait a few minutes if we’re in the midst of an physical check or nursing. (We’re still trying to figure out nursing so I’m not good at being discrete/modest yet.)

Plus, although it seems like only a pipe dream to me now ... I MAY actually get to SLEEP a tiny bit tomorrow. So please excuse me if I miss you!

OK. 3AM. Going to try to wake up this tiny, amazing, cuddle bug of love and see if she will nurse again.

Yours,
Tara B.

PS
A few more big sister photos (not just sweet big sister Sophie but MY big sister Kali & her Fred too ) ...

Well ...

Based on the all night long and all during church long and pretty much all day today long "not quite Braxton Hicks because OH MY STARS THEY HURT / but not quite REAL because they don’t hurt THAT BAD" contractions I’ve been having, we’re all wondering if Eleanor Marie will wait her “scheduled” 13 hours to arrive “decently and in good order” (like the Presbyterian she is ) at our 7:30AM c-section tomorrow morning; OR whether we might be heading in to the hospital tonight (because it’s important that I NOT labor).

Either way, we’re rejoicing that Ella is moving around and seems to be doing well and will, apparently, be joining us soon.

THANK YOU for all of the personal emails and FB emails and especially the prayers!

Fred prayed me through my tears of pain in the night and I am trusting that God will continue to give me grace for each moment of this adventure.

Thanks again—

Much love,
Tara B.

I just added another sermon series to my “want to listen to one day” list:

Pastor Anyabwile’s Sermon Series from Proverbs

Wisdom and friendships, morality, marriage, adultery? Sounds like a great series.

(And a sweet reminder of why we named our oldest daughter Sophia Grace. Wisdom and Grace.)

"Who is wise and understanding among you? By his good conduct let him show his works in the meekness of wisdom. But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace." James 3:13-17 (emphasis added)

Well ... after my incredibly productive morning (hooray for no headache!), I’m officially DONE nesting.

Clean sheets & towels & all laundry done, de-doggified-Swiffered-hardwood floors, clean bathroom, dusted room, fridge & freezer & kitchen shelves cleaned out (found a salad dressing that expired, let’s just say, A VERY LONG TIME AGO), groceries stocked, FAN cleaned out (that’s been REALLY bothering me), beds re-made, checking account balanced, painting that’s been bugging me for years hanging at a TINY crooked level–LEVELED OUT, dry-cleaners-bank-post-office errands done (CHECK!) ...

Ahhhh ... the sweetness of order. I’m drinking it in because I know it’s about to GO AWAY FOR A LONG LONG TIME.

If it’s not done as of right now, either Fred will have to do it or I’ll come up for air in about a month post c-section & knee surgery, etc. Nesting is officially OVER.

Just a quick note to say HELLO and WELCOME to any viewers of the television show “The Bridge” that might be stopping by after my interviews about Peacemaking Women.



I hope that you enjoy poking around my current posts and old archives too.

So happy you are here with us!

Blessings and joy,
Tara B.

PS
My two-day interview on the Miracle Channel is airing in the USA on Direct TV through the NRB Channel 378 on July 13-14 at 12 Noon Eastern and the first program will repeat on July 17th.

Until a few minutes ago, I don’t think I consciously realized just how stressful it was to meet our c-section surgeon (for Ella) this morning and re-live/discuss all of the things that went dangerously wrong during Sophia’s emergency c-section back in 2003:

- Laboring all day long (ten hours), fully dilated, but baby was “stuck”
- I spiked a dangerous high fever (105.5+)
- Sophie’s heart rate quickly grew Tachycardic in response
- The doctors said, “No more laboring. We need to get her out NOW.”

- Wheeled to the operating room, more epidural coming on board, but it didn’t take
- I’m feeling the surgeons INSIDE OF ME (like a BAD horror movie); can still move my legs up and down on the table (WHILE they are INSIDE OF ME ... not the textbook way to have a c-section)

(That’s my last conscious thought/memory FOR HOURS because without warning, they put me under general anesthesia; I would have to learn the rest of what happened hours later from Fred when I finally started coming around to consciousness.)

- Sophia was SO FAR descended that she was STUCK. They called for STOOLS. The braced against the table up to the shoulders.
- Finally they got her out! But her TEN POUND BODY tore a major artery on the left side of my uterus and I started to bleed out
- All the while, Sophie is BLUE and NON-RESPONSIVE (first APGAR OF “3”)

- NICU resuscitation team does their thing and HOORAY! She breathes! She cries! Five minute APGAR is an 8 or 9. Praise God!
- Surgeons are controlling MY bleeding, nurse is counting the blood-soaked cloths that are flying out of me

- I get sewed up and brought back to recovery and a few hours later try to CLAW my way back to consciousness whispering only two words under my oxygen mask, “Baby? OK?”

Yes. Yes. I guess I just needed to have a little minor PTSD in talking all that through and discussing with the surgeon how, Lord willing, things will be different in TWO WEEKS and TWO DAYS when we show up for our (hopefully) controlled, non-emergency, no one in distress, CALM c-section for Eleanor Marie.

But man. I’m sitting here alone tonight and something painful and scary has been struck at a deep level inside of me.

I don’t think it’s worry, per se. I don’t feel some need to control or fix things.
And scary doesn’t seem to be the right word either.

I think maybe it’s just pain.
Sorrow.
Another opportunity to grieve the ramifications of life in a fallen world.

And OF COURSE another opportunity to PRAISE GOD, thank Him, trust Him, and shout my gratitude for His love, care, and provision of such miraculously fine medical care. Truly, Sophie and I would have both died if we had not received such wise, well-timed care.

And even though I know that accidents can always happen and only God knows for sure what will happen with our little Bella-Ella, we have every hope and assurance that the medical care we will receive will be top-notch.

And so ... and so ...

I think I just need to drink some water and get to bed.

My heart is so heavy, but it’s an “irrational / hormonal / nothing really bad is happening / my life is good so why do I feel like crying and never stopping crying” kind of heavy.

Sounds like rest will help. So I’m running (well, waddling) to the One Who invites weary, melting-down Momma Tara to come to Him and find rest for my soul. And at the same time I’m waddling to bed.

Praying your Friday is a restful one–

I appreciate you, dear blog readers! Commenters and lurkers alike. I appreciate you.

Good night and God bless—

Yours,
Tara B.

I just finished a marathon reading out loud session to Sophia because she brought me Pilgrim’s Progress: As Retold by Gary D. Schmidt and Illustrated by Barry Moser.

We’ve had this book around for awhile but OH MY! It is INTENSE at times, so I haven’t tried to engage Soph with it too much. I’ve introduced it a little bit at a time, but let her set the pace for our progress through it.

Today she was ready and eager to read and read and so we did. If you’re interested in introducing your kids to Pilgrim’s Progress (and having even more opportunities / examples / illustrations to discuss normal life stuff too), I recommend it.

(Oh–and in the interest of full disclosure ... unlike the shaving cream I mentioned the other day, if you do click through to the Amazon link I pasted above and buy from Amazon, I do get a tiny seller’s referral fee. It doesn’t cost YOU anything, but unlike Bath & Body Works, Amazon pays me when people buy things through my website.)

I can’t believe it.

Working all day and then nights until midnight and Saturdays too. Trying to get as much work done on this leadership series as possible pre-Ella.

And then today? He gets called for JURY DUTY next week.

My poor husband!

The last time he did his civic duty, he was the foreman of a TEN DAY JURY TRIAL. Yeep!

Here’s hoping for a nice day of nothing more than a few speeding tickets. Poor guy.

I know it’s not real suffering, and of course he just chuckled and didn’t complain at all ... but I really thought, “When it rains it pours.”

I have a much easier job just lugging around this sweet, giant-tummy-filling baby.

(I told the kids today at bowling that Ella weighs more than their bowling balls—6 lbs—and asked if THEY would like to strap that bowling ball to their gut and, you know, make dinner for their families, go shopping, clean, etc. etc. They were unanimous in their, “No!” responses. So then I encouraged them all to go home and hug and thank all their MOMMIES for lovingly carrying them AND taking care of their homes/families at the same time. )

G'nite, friends—

Yours,
Tara B.

Couldn’t resist snapping these photos of (5 year old) Sophia helping (2 year old) Abigail review the first 10 questions of the catechism yesterday:



Mmmmmmmmm. I love it!

* UPDATE * I heard from a blog reader who missions team will take them to homeless children in Columbia! Hooray! * UPDATE *

Sophia and I have made a really big box of VERY clean, practically brand-new STUFFED ANIMALS that we would like to share with anyone who could use them to encourage / serve / minister to children.

(I know “used” stuffed animals can seem VERY VERY gross and you may be reticent to believe us, but these are SUPER-DEE-DUPER-DEE spotless, really really nice, practically new/unused stuffed animals.)

They are all SOFT and cuddly. A couple of the dolls have a beautiful multi-cultural mix of darker complexion skin and hair. There are MANY small, multi-colored bears from various USA states (that I’ve picked up for her at various airports). A super cute, fuzzy horse backpack and a super cute, fuzzy Disney purse. A big, gorgeous zebra. A Mommy and baby bunny rabbit. And lots more.

If you know ANYONE who might be blessed by this box, please email me your shipping address and I’ll pop them in the mail to the first person I hear from.

Thanks, friends!

Hope your day is going well, too. I’ve been pushing hard since 5AM, but it’s a happy pushing. Time with our friends' newborn and toddler was SWEET. I even broke out my MayaWrap when the newborn fell asleep on my chest and OOOOOH! It was great to play with the other girls, make them lunch, and just do life again with a lovie-bug-muffin snoozin' away on my chest.

(I love my MayaWrap!!)

What a grace to have even a few hours with such precious children.

We won’t see Fred again until morning—but he may have a project that I can help him with, so that’d be great if I can serve him even in some small way.

Blessed Tuesday to you!

Yours,
Tara B.

* UPDATE * I heard from a blog reader who missions team will take them to homeless children in Columbia! Hooray! * UPDATE *

I had SUCH a funny dream last night ...

Fred and I were standing there watching my belly do its amazing gymnastics feats (Eleanor Marie has been extremely active lately, praise God), when suddenly, BLOOP! Out she popped. Happy. Sparkly-clean. Dressed in a super cute newborn onesie. Eyes open. Big smile. All ready to be cuddled and loved.

I quickly called my doctor to tell him, “Hey! We can cancel the c-section. She decided to come on her own. We’re all doing great here. Have a nice weekend.”

If only ...
If only ...

!!

(21 days until we leave for the hospital ...)

Our morning started by dropping off our poor old Honda at the shop for another round of $700 repairs. (It just seemed like the wise thing to do rather than having to go into debt to get a newer used car right now.) Praise God we have the funds saved for auto maintenance! So hopefully we’ll pick up a car by the end of the day that you DON’T hear three blocks away (one of the problems was muffler-related).

Then we enjoyed pancakes and cuddles and TWO chapters of “Silver Chair.” Ooooh! I think the Narnia books just keep on getting better and better.

After exhaustedly lying around for a little while, I pulled myself together and started organizing (tossing / donating / archiving for Ella for later / keeping out) our family games, puzzles, and Soph’s DVDs. It’s a lot of work (made harder by my inability to bend at the waist)! But I’m trying to get as much done in these last three weeks as possible. I’m especially motivated to get the school room cleaned and organized because OH MY but the chaos is beginning to reign in there.

As a reward/treat, I’m saving one organizing task until I accomplish some of my duties for the day ... organizing my new baby/diaper bag! Fred blessed me with a super-pretty brown and pink feminine bag that I just LOVE:



My old one (that I saved from Sophie and just assumed I would use again) was great, but quite utilitarian: Black. Sturdy. Perfect for the 74 airplane rides that I took Soph on during her first year of life (!!) ... but since it seems like I’m really going to be in a quieter season of life with Eleanor Marie, I thought, “Why not have a pretty bag?” And thanks to good ol' Ebay I got this charmer brand-new for pennies on the dollar:



What a treat. I’m looking forward to packing it up if can make some progress on the rest of the chaos. Onesies and burp cloths, here we come. (I’m also motivated to get going on packing for the hospital because I had my first REAL contraction this week! Next week I’m full term (37 weeks), so I guess it was time to really get this show on the road. But wow! What a (happily painful) motivator.

Hope your day is a blessed one and that your 4th of July celebrations are reflective, fun, and safe!

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness ...

We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these united Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States ..."

How I thank God for the privilege of being a citizen of this flawed, but wonderful country.

(And how I thank God for the men and women who have sacrificed, even giving “the last full measure of devotion” so that we might be free.)

Blessings to you all–

Yours,
Tara B.

PS
I’m listening to Keith and Kristyn Getty’s new album, “Awaken the Dawn” as I work. And enjoying it.

I was so excited when Pastor Thabiti Anyabwile’s latest book arrived this week:

May We Meet in the Heavenly World:
The Piety of Lemuel Haynes (1753-1833)

I’m ashamed by my ignorance, but until Pastor Anyabwile let us know about this great man, Lemuel Haynes, I simply never knew that “there had in fact been a long line of learned, passionate, and articulate African-Americans within the Reformed tradition” (from the Foreword by Anthony J. Carter)—more or less from the time of the founding of the USA.

As soon as I found out, I bought the book because I wanted to learn more! And now I can’t put the book down. I just want to keep reading about this man who Pastor Anyabwile describes thusly:

"His life of faithful pastoral ministry, spanning over fifty years, leaves us a rich legacy from which to learn. His power as a preacher, precision as a theologian, carefulness as a pastor, and joviality as a brother all instruct us centuries later on what faithfulness entails. His love for the Savior and longing for eternity call us out of ourselves and upward to the Bishop and Overseer of our souls."

Just a quick note to say HELLO and WELCOME to any viewers of the television show “The Bridge” that might be stopping by after my interviews about Peacemaking Women.



I hope that you enjoy poking around my current posts and old archives too. Please note that we also have a HUGE SALE on my Women’s DVD Study ("Living the Gospel in Relationships") going on for only nine more days, so please be sure to check that out if you are interested in any discounted resources.

So happy you are here with us!

Blessings and joy,
Tara B.

PS
My two-day interview on the Miracle Channel is airing June 22-23 at 3:00 AM, 6:30 AM, 10:30 AM & 8 PM (MTN).

It’s been a strange little journey for me (because in many ways I am SO behind the times technologically), but over the past few months, I have become a TINY bit of a regular FaceBook (FB) user.

No, I still don’t do ANY quizzes or games, etc. on FB. And I decline, well, 99.99% of all requests I EVER get for anything.

But, I have found it to be a convenient (and even fun) way to stay in touch with people. And this week, I signed up THIS BLOG on FaceBook.

I’m not exactly sure what that means, but apparently, FB “reads” my blog and publishes it right into the accounts of people who want to read it. This saves them the step of coming over “here” (isn’t the Internet a little strange?) and reading it, so that’s great.

The thing is, FB only reads my blog (the official term is “pulls” my blog) every four hours, but if just TWO MORE PEOPLE sign up to read my blog on FaceBook, they’ll pull it every three hours.

So ... I was wondering if any of you (who already are FaceBook users anyway) might please consider signing up to follow my blog on Facebook.

'Twould be grand!

Thanks, all. Hope your Saturday was a blessed one.

Yours,
Tara B.

PS
Did you know that even if your mom is nine months pregnant you CAN play Twister ALONE or with your favorite LoveBunny stuffed animal to pass the time while Daddy works all day on a Saturday?

Oh my STARS! But I just LOVE this book!



Darwin on Trial by Phillip E. Johnson

I first learned about Professor Johnson back in law school. (He was a University of California Berkeley Law Professor until he suffered a series of strokes back in 2001.) I heard him speak at a Christian Legal Society Conference (he became a Christian later in life, I think in his forties, after he had been a tenured law professor for many years), and I was immediately impressed not only by his brilliance, but also by his humility and wry humor.

I started reading his books at that conference and I’ve loved every one I’ve read.

If you enjoy logical, dispassionate, rhetoric/name-calling-FREE discussions about eternally important topics (like evolution), then I strongly urge you to read his works.

In re-reading Darwin on Trial this week, I was trying to keep track of quotes to share with you but OH MY there are just too many. I’d really like to quote the entire book to you—but instead, I’ll just (hopefully) tempt you to read it yourself with a few lines from the Epilogue:

"One thing I am not doing is taking sides in a Bible-science conflict. I am interested in what unbiased scientific investigation has to tell us about the history of life, and in particular about how the enormously complex organs of plants and animals came into existence ...

The philosophically important part of the Darwinian theory—its mechanism for creating complex things that did not exist before—is therefore not really part of empirical science at all, but rather a deduction from naturalistic philosophy. In brief, what makes me a “critic of evolution” is that I distinguish between naturalistic philosophy and empirical science, and oppose the former when it comes cloaked in the authority of the latter ..."

(I think one of the reasons I love this book so much is because it hits my dual-love of law (rules of evidence!) and philosophy and does so in a very readable, logical, I would even say enjoyable manner. But Fred said I should probably warn you that he found the book to be a bit dense/hard to read.)

Oh, and if you’ve never heard of Phillip E. Johnson/Darwin on Trial and decide to google either, be further forewarned that MAN! Is he MALIGNED. Especially on the (I’ve found it to be QUITE biased and I wouldn’t trust it for anything more than a starlet’s birth date and even then I’d be skeptical) Wikipedia. Nothing like TRUTH to bring out irrational, ill-informed critics.

Let me close, then, with just a few more lines on that topic. Again, from the Epilogue, beginning with how Professor Johnson responded to a scathing attack he received from Stephen Jay Gould in Scientific American:

"Gould listed a string of objections about matters that had nothing to do with the main line of argument (see the research notes following this chapter for a summary of Gould’s specific objections) ...

None of this would have impressed anyone who had read the book, but most readers of Scientific American would not have done so and would be likely to assume that Gould was describing it accurately. They were not likely to hear anything to the contrary because the editors refused to print my response or any letters from readers, although I know they received many.

Far from being discouraged by this treatment, I was elated ...

Everyone who was following the controversy assumed that Gould was the most formidable adversary I would encounter and many were waiting to see if he would come up with a devastating response. That he could do no better than a hit-and-run attack was an implicit admission that he had no answer on the merits. As one biochemist friend wrote me in congratulations, “Judging by the howls of pain from the back pages of Scientific American, I think you must have struck a vital spot.”

And so I had ..."

Oh oh oh! I know I said I’d close with that topic. But please indulge me just a few more lines because Professor Johnson’s own close of the Epilogue is just so great:

"My primary goal in writing Darwin on Trial was to legitimate the assertion of a theistic worldview in the secular universities ...

Darwinian evolution with its blind watchmaker thesis makes me think of a great battleship on the ocean of reality. Its sides are heavily armored with philosophical barriers to criticism and its decks are stacked with big rhetorical guns ready to intimidate any would-be attackers. In appearance, it is as impregnable as the Soviet Union seemed to be only a few years ago. But the ship has sprung a metaphysical leak, and the more perceptive of the ship’s officers have begun to sense that all the ship’s firepower cannot save it if the leak is not plugged. There will be heroic efforts to save the ship, of course, and some plausible rescuers will invite the officers to take refuge in electronic lifeboats ...

The spectacle will be fascinating and the battle will go on for a long time. But in the end reality will win."

Well ... this isn’t good news.

Apparently, my “five weeks to go” pregnant bod is having a little bit of a hard time keeping my blood pressure regulated as Ella and I head into the final stretch of this pregnancy.

Nothing to be overly concerned about (I’m not being admitted for preeclampsia or anything), but I need to start listening a little more carefully to my body when I get that overwhelming feeling of head-spinning, MUST LIE DOWN RIGHT NOW or else I might pass out feeling ... because apparently, I might pass out. Too much activity means too much effort on the ol' heart and I need to do better about NOT doing.

Man. I was already feeling bad about how LITTLE I’m doing re: dusting, vacuuming, sending people notes, getting Ella’s baby book started, doing fun summer activities with Sophia, etc. etc.

But I’m absolutely going to listen to my doctor (and Fred and Sophie, by the way, who BOTH keep saying how they don’t care one whit about the dusting and vacuuming and I just need to keep my feet up and REST) because right now these little blood pressure spikes are activity-related and they come down quickly. If that changes and we get into a real problem, that is NOT going to be a good thing for Ella.

So here I sit. Feet up. Dust bunnies galore. (Golden Retrievers make AMAZING dust bunnies on hardwood floors.)
Thankful that Ella and I are not in distress.

And praying that God will help me to give MYSELF grace and not think of myself as just lazy ol' Tara.

Hope your Tuesday was a blessed one!

Yours,
Tara B.

I am so excited that Pastor Anyabwile’s book will soon be released and is being offered now for a pre-publication (50% off!) discount:



May We Meet in the Heavenly World: The Piety of Lemuel Haynes

I hope that you will take advantage of this offer. I bet it will be among the best $5 you spend all year. (Can’t believe it’s only $5!)

We’re off to the pool now—

Blessings and joy,
Tara B.

It was another full day in real life here in the ol' Barthel home ...

Our day started early with the (wonderful!) high school graduation breakfast at church. (As a deacon, Fred is invited to attend even though our children are 18+ years away from high school graduation. This being the fact even though we are, you know, the SAME AGE as the people whose kids are graduating from high school. Boy are we OLD to be having babies!)

It’s tradition in our church for the fathers to introduce their children and it’s quite a fun, encouraging, and pathos-laden time. (So many tears! Especially because Ken Sande’s daughter graduated this year and wow! If you haven’t ever heard Ken Sande speak and CRY, you probably haven’t ever really heard him speak. He has a very tender heart for an engineer and lawyer—especially when it comes to his family.)

Then we ZOOMED over to a rummage sale to help raise funds for our friends who are working very hard to adopt a baby from Ethiopia. (Oh how I can’t WAIT for the day when their baby is in their arms and their two sons have a little baby brother or sister who formally was abandoned as an orphan. Hooray for families!)

Then we ZOOOMED BACK across town to bring Sophie to her first “big girl” (i.e., drop off the child and LEAVE the party – way harder on the MOM than the “see you later!” child) birthday party.

Time at home to play with a friend (Soph), mow the lawn (Fred), and talk with my beloved sister (me) while closing out the month (reconciling Quicken and savings/cash on hand and what we owe, etc. etc.).

Before we could blink, it was bed time!

I hope your day was full and blessed too.

Oh, and the reason for the title of this post? Fred and I keep chuckling quietly to ourselves over the ONLY scene in the movie “Up!” that made Sophie cry. It was when the dog, Doug, was scolded.

"Bad dog! Bad dog! I’m not your master!"

It was just too much for our love-bug to handle.

Blessings on your Sabbath tomorrow—

Much love,
Tara B.

I think I mentioned to you back in March how much I appreciated the woman who heads the Special Needs Ministry of our denomination (Steph Hubach). I attended one of her workshops at our Mercy Conference and learned a TON–especially how “disability” has been re-defined over the ages:

- From “abnormal in a normal world” (historical/medical)
- To “normal in a normal world” (post-modern)

But that the Christian definition really is "normal in an abnormal (fallen) world." Because we are all disabled to a certain extent.

Well, I immediately sent her this link because WOW! What a beautiful picture of the Body of Christ it provides:

The Best Graduation Party Ever

This Urban Servant blog is amazing to read. I am just such a lazy woman of such little faith–I am so grateful for grace ... AND for women like these who are transparent in their struggles, willing to share their wisdom and experience, and always pointing to the Lord.

Blessings on your Thursday!

Love,
Tara B.

Margaret Manning has a great article in today’s RZIM Slice of Infinity:

The Prosperity Drug

I encourage you to check it out!

Our family just finished praying again for “Baby A and Baby B” – the 28-week in utero identical twin granddaughters of our dear friends Cap'n Dave and Auntie Pat.

(Dave is the friend with whom I used to work at Peacemakers. You may recall from my standard women’s retreat–and I think LTGIR–how he recommended “When People are Big and God is Small” to me and used to (lovingly) remind me to SHHHHHH! during meetings because I talked to much. He’s really been like a spiritual father to me and they have both been such faithful friends to us! We love them and miss them tremendously.)

Would you please pray for these TINY little girls? Baby A has not been getting as much oxygen and blood and has had some problems with her heart. The doctors have put their mother in the hospital, given the medicine to help the girls' lungs to develop, and are trying to discern whether to deliver the babies.

They are 2 and 3 lbs. respectively. So tiny!

I would so appreciate your prayers for them all.

Thank you–

With love,
Tara B.

PS
Our family also just finished REJOICING WITH TEARS that our friend is home safely from Iraq. We’ve been praying for him–and his family–regularly during his deployment and he is HOME! It was such wonderful news to wake up to, in addition to this hard news for the babies. I kept reminding Sophie how God wants us to pray; He invites us to pray; He HEARS us when we pray and He always answers our prayers – sometimes with a yes and sometimes with a no. But always perfectly and always in line with His glory and our good.

It’s very strange to mention two movies in one day because we don’t really go to movies very often and I don’t think Fred, Sophie and I have EVER gone to a movie together. (Sophie and I saw “Charlotte’s Web” and “Despereaux” and I think that’s pretty much it for us as a family for years.)

But tonight we all went to see the movie “Earth.” So many writers and bloggers that we respect had raved about it—and the previews were so astounding—that when I saw it was still at our local theatre, off we went.

Soph was very excited and promised to trust me and avert/close her eyes behind my hand when I thought something too intense was about to happen. But Fred and I really thought from the “G” rating and all of the reviews we read that there would only be one or two difficult sequences.

We were wrong. And please, if you have little children, be forewarned.

It is a WONDERFUL movie and in many respects we loved it. God’s creation is awe-inspiring! I gasped with delight at many sequences.

However ... there are lots of (appropriate but INTENSE) moments when carnivores and omnivores do their thing, and even without the gore, it’s difficult to see. Plus, one animal just dies because, well, animals die. And MAN! That’s the biggest and scariest shark I have EVER seen (since the nightmare producing “Jaws” of my 1970’s childhood).

Soph was, I think, guarded from the intensity of the scary/sad images. (She doesn’t even tolerate the chase sequences in movies like “Monsters Inc.” and Dora videos so she really wasn’t ready for these scenes.) But now it’s 10:30PM and I’m the one having a hard time getting the pictures out of my mind.

Still ... it’s a beautiful movie and I’m sure most people could handle it no problem. But I did want to give another perspective on its intensity level just in case you were thinking about taking young kids to it.

OK. I’m really going to try to get to sleep now.

Hope your Monday was a blessed one!

Yours,
Tara B.

It’s 2AM and I’m awake again–but tonight I really don’t mind. I have a bunch of books I’m enjoying AND Ella Marie is totally cracking me up because her in utero kicks are so strong that that they are literally rocking my chair.

But THAT’S not the reason for the title of my post (obviously).

I titled this post, "Please don’t be mean. Please don’t be mean." because it hit me as particularly sad that every time I go to check my YouTube video comments (because I really HATE it when people leave comments with profanity on our videos and I try to stay on top of deleting profane comments), I am silently saying to myself, “Please don’t be mean. Please don’t be mean.”

Sad, huh?

Not so much that I really care what some anonymous person says on a video. (I don’t.)

But that, over the years, with 150,000+ people seeing our videos, there have been enough people who are just blatantly, gratuitously MEAN that I subconsciously/instinctively hope for a non-mean comment.

Oh well. Life in a fallen world. No biggie.
But a little sad, eh?

Just a quick note to see if any of you might know of some unused CHURCH BANNERS that might be available for one of our church’s Montana church plants.

They JUST got into a building (HOORAY!) and they are looking for some help prettying up the place.

Thanks thanks thanks!
– t

Rushing out the door to a prenatal appointment, so no time to elaborate. But I did want to mention that based on my day yesterday, I’m thinking it’s just about time for my annual re-reading of Ed Welch’s “When People are Big and God is Small.” Might also begin an annual tradition with his "Running Scared: Fear, Worry, and the God of Rest."

(Hmmmmmmm ... doesn’t sound like I had a very good day yesterday, does it? )

But God is still the same.
And feelings are feelings. Important, sure. Strong? For some of us in particular? Absolutely.

But God is greater still.
And faith, hope, confidence, and assurance are NOT based on feelings.

Gotta run!
Hope your day is a blessed one—

Yours,
Tara B.

Be sure to tune in to FamilyLife Today and hear Carolyn McCulley discuss her (GREAT!) new book, “Radical Womanhood: Feminine Faith in a Feminist World.” She posted links and all of the details here.

I’m sure her interviews (three days! hooray!) will encourage you to buy her book, “Radical Womanhood” and I want to do the same. It is a very wise and winsome book, incredibly well-researched, and completely lacking in the harsh tone that this topic often attracts from writers, speakers, and bloggers/commenters.

Plus, Judy and I also had a blast with Dennis Rainey and Bob Lepine when they interviewed us about “Peacemaking Women”, so it’s very fun for me to picture Carolyn in their studio, enjoying the Lord and great conversation with two gifted radio hosts.

Happy Monday!

Yours,
Tara B.

Samara’s husband, TJ, has an absolutely STUNNING painting up for only a five-day auction:

Spring Pastures, Bridger Range, MT

Can you imagine being able to create something so beautiful? Wow! Thanks, Taylor.

And Happy Mother’s Day to all of my blog readers who are mothers!

Love,
Tara B.

There is simply no way that I can categorize this post. Way too many disjunct thoughts. But I’ve been meaning to mention all of this to you, so here we go ...

1. I really hope that you are at least considering making plans to attend Memorial Day services in your local community. Please consider remembering and honoring those who have died in the service of our country (and their families and our veterans too). The services are often very short, but incredibly meaningful and GREAT teaching times for children (re: the flag, our constitution, form of government, authority, etc.) Freedom really isn’t free.

2. In the past week, two families that I care a great deal about have found themselves sudddenly beside hospital beds due to accidents that have brought traumatic injuries (including broken necks, backs, skulls, pelvic bones, etc.). One is a young man who was in a car accident and the other is a father of four children and deacon in our church. I know their families would appreciate your prayers!

3. Yesterday I was completely immobile in bed due to back pain that became unmanageable. I felt terrible for letting Sophie down (other than a little math, phonics, Bible and violin, we really did nothing all day long until some reading and Zoologic–in bed–at night). I just couldn’t do anything fun or even interesting for her. But every time I said, “Sorry, Sophie!” as she self-entertained for hour after hour, she said, "Mom, there is nothing to apologize for. I’m just sorry your back hurts so bad." Pretty gracious of a five year old, eh? I am so blessed to get to be her mother.

OK. Time to jump into our day now.

Hope your week is going well! And don’t forget to leave a comment here for your chance to WIN FREE STUFF! I think only four or five people have entered, so the math is in your favor for winning!

Blessings,
Tara B.

Carolyn McCulley just posted a link to a new blog that I encourage you to check out. Here is what she wrote:

"My friend Mary Kassian, an author and professor at Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, has started a new blog titled Girls Gone Wise. It features a lot of good resources on topics such as spiritual life, relationships, sexuality, marriage, mothering, career, life stages and more."

I only had a minute to pop over and glance at the headlines—but I’m definitely going to explore it when I have the time.

Hope it is a blessing to you!

Yours,
Tara B.

BTW – I didn’t mean to give any of you a startle by posting ebay links to maternity clothes. I’m still pregnant! Happily growing more uncomfortable as our little girl adds girth and strength in utero (and her kicks and stretches become stronger in response).

We’re a week or so into the third trimester now and if all goes well, we should be holding her on Monday, July 27 (via a scheduled c-section for a series of necessary medical reasons).

I’m trying to kick it up a knotch re: eating healthy for the baby (and for my post-partum health goals too, but mostly for the baby). My indigestion at “bad” foods really helps me to crave them less, so that’s easy.

And one way I’m trying to add in more “good” foods is by drinking one bottle of Greens to Go a day.



“It’s a salad in every packet!” Or so they say ...

And I DO feel that I am making a do-able and wise choice when I drink my green gunk “for the baby” and try to rejoice in all of the nutritious antioxidants that our two bodies are benefitting from as I force myself to chug it down. (It really doesn’t taste THAT bad usually. The key is to have COLD WATER and really SHAKE OR BLEND it. Then it’s doable.)

Yes, yes, I am fully aware that I don’t need this processed stuff. I should just be eating my daily kale, rutabaga, Brussels sprouts, tomatoes, peas, beans, carrots, squash, etc. etc.

But having grown up eating ONE (count 'em, ONE) “vegetable” ... CORN (yes, I’m aware it’s a STARCH! but for my childhood I was told it was a vegetable and it was the only one I ever ate. EVER.) So I’m swimming up against a pretty strong tide of NOT liking vegetables as an adult ... but I DO try. I really do!

And my little Greens to Go packets help me to take a little baby step of health–especially for the baby, whom I already love so much!

So thanks for the concerned notes–but yes, I’m still pregnant, just wearing different sizes. Hence, the ebay sales. I hope that they can be a real blessing to some women!

Signing off now–
Still hoping and praying for sleep!

Yours,
Tara B.

Sorry I haven’t really blogged today! It’s 9:30PM and I’m just now coming up for air. Whew! A good day, but a FULL day.

One big project I tackled was my very first listing of a bunch of used maternity clothes on ebay.

I was just going to just give them away as usual–and if no one bids on them, that’s still my plan. (The sizes are XL and up and I know from past donations that the women’s shelter has a hard time finding plus-sized maternity clothes for the women they serve.) But with the incredibly high medical expenses we’re facing this year, I felt obligated to at least TRY to see if I could contribute to financially to our family’s bottomline.

So if you know anyone who needs plus-sized maternity clothes or if you’d like to give them to YOUR local women’s shelter, please check out my listings.

(Oh, and if you’re a power ebay seller and you see anything in my listings that should be changed/improved, I’d LOVE your advice. I’m a total newbie and I’d love to do a better job.)

I’m going to try to head to bed now (with Fred listening to the Gospel Coalition in the background)–I’m not sleeping through the night. Again. 2:30AM is apparently the time my body “needs” to wake up. It’s a good time to pray but I’d really like to be sleeping.

Hope you had a great Wednesday!

Sending you my love—
Tara B.

PS
If you need any encouragement to listen to the Gospel Coalition messages, check out this post from Pastor Anyabwile. He is SO wise and I respect his opinions so much! Guess which messages I’m listening to next ...

Thanks for asking, Amy! Yes, Ruth has given me permission to post updates here, so this is my best understanding of how she is doing:

- She had surgery March 10 to remove the most recent tumor from her brain. That surgery took five hours and then there have been many more hours of surgery to repair/rebuild nerves and blood vessels.

- She was recovering pretty well but then, because of a misplaced cart, she had a bad fall in the hospital and her pain level increased exponentially because of an injury to her leg.

- April 2 she went in for some more surgery and was discharged on April 8. On the way home, they were in a car accident that totaled their car that was being towed and damaged their RV (where her sister lives while caring for Ruth during these hospital stays). Thankfully, no one was injured, but now they are dealing with police/insurance/etc. because of the error of the driver who rear ended them.

I think that’s a pretty accurate update. (If I messed anything up, please let me know, Ruth!)

And thanks, everyone, for continuing to pray for our dear friend.

Back to packing (I’m off to Colorado in the morning–last trip until September!)–

Blessings,
Tara B.

I tried to find the permanent link for this “Slice of Infinity” over at RZIM Ministries (because I always prefer to send you to their site with the hope that you will a) sign up for this GREAT e-devotional–the only one I read Mon-Fri; and b) support RZIM Ministries), but for some strange reason, it’s not on their site.

SO ... with the hope that they don’t mind too much, here is the “Slice of Infinity” from today. It is very worth the read!

I think it resonated with me today for a few reasons:

1. I’ve been thinking a lot about life–why we live; what is the purpose; how short life is, etc. etc.

2. Looking ahead at our Spring/Summer schedule, I’m amazed that Memorial Day is right around the corner. (I can’t believe it’s almost May!) And I’ve been meaning to encourage you all–especially if you have young children–to make some sort of military Memorial Day ceremony a part of your “long weekend / BBQ / day off” Monday. Rest is great! But teaching our children respect for the flag, gratitude for the men and women who have sacrificed for our safety and freedom, and the importance of the honoring our veterans is, I believe, more important and way more meaningful. (Plus, our WWII vets are really dying quickly now! So if you want to be able to have your children meet them and thank them and remember them, you have to be intentional NOW. Sophie still talks about the veteran from last year’s Memorial Day ceremony–a WWII vet “who has a bullet INSIDE of him!” Powerful stuff. Makes history and patriotism come alive.)

3. I’ve been thinking a lot about death–the losses that my friends are right now facing; the fact that any of us could face death (our own or someone we love) at any MOMENT; how grateful I am that the end of our physical bodies is not the end.

I hope you enjoy this essay by the brilliant Jill Carratini. And if I can ever find the permalink, I’ll send you over to RZIM for it.

Blessings on your Wednesday!

Yours,
Tara B.

The Last Farewell (by Jill Carratini)

Researchers believe they have come up with a questionnaire that can measure a person’s chances of dying within the next four years. According to one of the test’s designers, it is reported to be roughly 81 percent accurate among those who are 50 years or older. Their report, which was published in the Journal of the American Medical Association, claims the assessment will be useful to doctors in offering prognostic information and to patients who want a more determined look at the future. Regardless of the questionnaire’s effectiveness, however, the headline still strikes me as ironic: “Test Helps You Predict Chances of Dying.”(1) It brings to mind the lines of Emily Dickinson, “Because I could not stop for Death, He kindly stopped for me.” We don’t need a test to tell us our chances of dying.

British statesman and avowed atheist Roy Hattersley writes in the Guardian of a recent experience at a funeral. It was a funeral, he said, which almost converted him to the belief that funeral services–of which he has disapproved for years–ought to be encouraged. His conclusion was forged as he sang the hymns and studied the proclamations of a crowd that seemed sincere: “[T]he church is so much better at staging last farewells than non-believers could ever be.”(2) He continues, “‘Death where is thy sting, grave where is thy victory?’ are stupid questions. But even those of us who do not expect salvation find a note of triumph in the burial service. There could be a godless thanksgiving for and celebration of the life of [whomever]. The music might be much the same. But it would not have the uplifting effect without the magnificent, meaningless, words.”

I had never been to a funeral until I was the seminary intern for a small rural church in Oklahoma. I had attended a visitation once and a few memorial services years earlier, but I had never watched a family move from planning to wake to service to burial, until I assisted more families through the entire funeral process than seemed possible for the tiny congregation. We had more than seven times the number of deaths as we had births in the church that year.

Something happens when you are given the opportunity to be an observer at that many funerals. The reality of the sting of death became like a running commentary on the futility of life and fleeting nature of humanity. “For who knows what is good for a man in life during the few and meaningless days he passes through like a shadow?” asks Solomon. “Surely the people are grass,” writes Isaiah. I had never been more aware of my own transience.

But there was an incredible paradox in this looming experience of death’s repetitive sting. With each new grave came the unnaturalness of the process all over again–a body at the front of the altar, a hole dug deeply, a coffin lowered. Yet as death continued to rear its ugly head in our small community and life stood futile to stop it, the words spoken over the body again and again did not become futile themselves. On the contrary, they grew all the more resounding. I came to realize that our words were not spoken to soften the blow, but rather, to affirm the offense, to acknowledge the sting of death in all of its aberrancy–and to name the one who came to reverse it, having gone through it himself.

We are the only creatures in this world who bury their dead, who speak words over bodies, and take them all the way to the grave. Why does death never cease to seem unnatural even despite the worldview we bring to the funeral? What is it about this spirit that will not stop, that refuses to be reconciled to loss and give death the last word? What is it that makes us cry out to someone or someplace beyond the self? “If only for this life we have hope in Christ,” writes Paul, “we are to be pitied more than all men” (1 Corinthians 15:19).

Hattersley concludes his observations with a comment of which he himself has perhaps not plumbed the depths: “Dull would he be of soul (or the humanist equivalent) who is not moved to tears by the exhortation, ‘He died to make us holy, let us live to make men free.’”(3) Such were the final lines the statesman uttered without meaning at the funeral that moved him.

What if the inherent logic that brings us to the graveside with words and longing hints of a transcendent memory that life was never intended to be cut short and that death can somehow be overcome? What if the last farewell is not the final word? Indeed, what if the words we speak over our dead were never intended to be our own: I am the resurrection and the life. He who comes to me will live, even though he dies.

Jill Carattini is managing editor of A Slice of Infinity at Ravi Zacharias International Ministries in Atlanta, Georgia.

If you like great music and you like huge surprises, listen to even just the few notes that this woman sings. Talk about a shock. Talk about a goose-bump joy. I loved it and immediately shared it with Fred.

BTW – the baby is kick kick kicking away as I’m typing and I thought I’d mention that we’re playing around with the name Ella Marie.

(Formal name Eleanor Marie Barthel.)

Eleanor is my grandmother’s name. And Marie is my sister’s middle name. I kind of like the pacing of “Ella Marie” and I like that we have nicknames that can end in “a" and ”ie" for both girls. Makes it easy to imagine ...

"Sophie! Ellie! To the car please!"

“Sophia! Ella! Would you please get your coats on?!”

Any thoughts??

Ahhhhh ... Easter Morning!

Fresh air blowing through the window. (Hooray for NO snow! Those pesky April blizzards sometimes get me a little down.)

A sweet daughter snoozing away in her room. A kind husband snoozing away next to me. A baby kicking away in utero and my Golden Retriever awake at my feet. Yes, yes, I am a blessed woman and I am rightfully embarrassed to think about how often I fail to be grateful.

But of course, I am most grateful that God saved me from my sins and adopted me into His family 24 years ago when I was just about as messed up a teenager as a person could be.

And I am grateful that He put me into His Body–the Church. I am looking forward to corporate worship this morning! I love our church home here in Billings and I can’t wait to hear the sermon and pray and worship with my church family.

BUT ... I have to admit that Easter is one of those church calendar days when I really miss my liturgical “roots.” (Roots in that, “when I got saved / my first few years in the church both in high school and undergrad” historical way.) Because for me? Based on my participation FOR YEARS both as a ringer and then later as a conductor, I think that Easter services (no matter how wonderful) will always be a teeny tiny bit lacking without HANDBELLS.

Yes. Yes. Did you know that I rang? I did and I loved it and I still (a tiny bit) miss it. I loved working hard in an ensemble. I loved learning to work under a conductor (Hi Mrs. Funte!!). I loved playing with the organ and accompanying the congregation. I loved bringing in Bethany on flute for “Silent Night” at Christmas and I just can’t sing “Christ the Lord is Risen Today!” without having a strong urge to do some serious handbell rejoicing.

Sadly (hah!), my circa 1987 videos of Tara-in-80's-BIG HAIR ringing away are all on VHS tapes so I can’t share them with you. But I did find a YouTube video of a lovely handbell choir. I wouldn’t recommend watching the whole thing or anything, but just in case you’re wondering, “What IS a handbell choir?!”, here is a taste:



Hope you enjoy this Blessed Resurrection Day!

Yours,
Tara B.

Not much time to post today because our family drove from Billings to Townsend (around 4 hours); Fred and Sophie jumped out to hang with Uncle TJ, William, and Scout; Samara jumped in and we road-tripped across the border to Lethbridge, Alberta, Canada (another six hours).

A few things to note about our little adventure:

- Answered prayer with a “yes!” that we made it over the Bozeman Pass in our tiny-little-has-the-engine-of-an-old-lawn-mower car without breaking down. Hooray!

- Answered prayer that they let Samara out of the country with only a driver’s license and a birth certificate (since she didn’t have a passport). Now if they’ll just let her back INTO the country later on today ...

- Sophie is a great little traveler and we played the “A my name is Annie and my husband’s name is Alfred and we come from Alabama with a ship load of Apples, B my name is Brenda and my husband’s name is Burt and we come from Bermuda with a ship load of Bananas” memory game for a LONG time. She was a star (I think she has my sister’s sticky brain for memory stuff) and I tried to have a good attitude and be all cheerful and supportive (because I know that memory games on car rides are good things) BUT ... I did have slight flashbacks to childhood with my photographic memory sister running through all of the states and capitals (I still don’t know them), presidents and vice-presidents (I have no clue, but Soph knows a lot of them), A-Z memory game (I never made it much past “M”), etc. etc. Which might be why ...

- I REALLY HATE LONG CAR RIDES. I want to like them. Kind of like camping (I wanted to be rugged and like the outdoors, etc. etc. but really? I like a NICE, clean, quiet corporate hotel with a great WIFI, concierge, and room service). Even the five hours of uninterrupted conversation with Samara Townsend-to-Lethbridge while WONDERFUL (and the ONLY reason I accepted this little interview request about “Peacemaking Women”), could not really overcome just how much I HATE riding in cars for such long distances.

But all that aside, it really is great to be able to hang with my friend for so many hours and just have rambling, un-rushed, shallow at times and deep at times conversation. Fred says it’s therapy for my soul. He’s probably right. It’s a real grace.

Hope your Wednesday was a blessed one too!

Yours,
Tara B.

Carolyn McCulley continues to be my favorite female blogger and her link to this article is yet another reason why:

The Single Woman and the Modesty of Personal Restraint

My only “complaint” about this article is that it is directed at single women when it seems to me that the principles apply, of course, to EVERYONE. Married women, men, teenagers ... whomever. Read and enjoy!

(And thanks, Carolyn, for your continued ministry to us all.)

Our Tuesday is FLYING by and I have much to do before small group dinner tonight–but what a happy, blessed life we have. Last night as we read about Paul’s conversion and what happened in the subsequent days (especially when Ananias came and shared the gospel with Paul and explained how Jesus was raised from the dead), Sophie said:

"That’s for US too! Jesus was raised from the dead and one day, when we die, WE will be RAISED UP TO HEAVEN too. I just LOVE Easter!"

Amen & Amen!

Sending you my love–

Your friend,
Tara B.

Oooooh! It’s hard to see yourself in such a quote, isn’t it? But so good too–helps me in my continual goal of speaking LESS.

Courtesy of Pastor JollyBlogger:

"Long experience has taught me this about the status of mankind with regard to matters requiring thought: the less people know and understand about them, the more positively they attempt to argue concerning them, while on the other hand to know and understand a multitude of things renders men cautious in passing judgment upon anything new."

I couldn’t resist popping over to a blog named “Somber and Dull” when TulipGirl referenced it in a post.

I’m glad I did! I’ll definitely give it some time in my “provisional blog reading” favorites and see if it lands in my (not too long) list of blogs I read regularly.

These two posts on President Truman and a man named Paul Hume were definitely worth the read:

Vision Beyond Emotion

The Value of a Team

TulipGirl quoted Tim Keller’s “The Prodigal God” today and it has me thinking, oh, about a zillion thoughts as I sit here playing/working with Sophia:

“Jesus’s teaching consistently attracted the irreligious while offending the Bible-believing, religious people of his day. However, in the main, our churches today do not have this effect. The kind of outsiders Jesus attracted are not attracted to contemporary churches, even our most avant-garde ones. We tend to draw conservative, buttoned-down, moralistic people. The licentious and liberated or the broken and marginal avoid church. That can only mean one thing. If the preaching of our ministers and the practice of our parishioners do not have the same effect on people that Jesus had, then we must not be declaring the same message that Jesus did. If our churches aren’t appealing to younger brothers, they must be more full of elder brothers than we’d like to think.”

Tim Keller, The Prodigal God

Oh! How I pray that my life (and my church!) will be consistently appealing to “younger brothers.” (And will help us “elder brothers” too!)

Prayerfully–
Tara B.

I can only respond with a hearty, “Me, too!” to this IX Marks post:

I Feel Like Such a Wimp

We made it home around 11PM (1AM for our bodies). Travel was uneventful–but Saturday night was most definitely NOT.

Poor Pastor Jason must’ve contracted some sort of food poisoning because he was up ALL NIGHT vomiting profusely. I really didn’t think we’d be able to travel home Saturday afternoon/evening (I was mentally trying to figure out where to take him for I.V. fluids and what hotel to book him into for Sunday night that was close to medical care) ... but by God’s grace, we were able to travel AND get home. I was SO happy he could be back with his family and NOT sick on the road any more.

Today was full and busy–but I’m a happy Momma Tara back with the pack, doing domestic diva tasks. (Even though Lili chewed a fairly significant chunk out of Soph’s Suzuki Violin Book today when I forgot about her PAPER ADDICTION and left the book in the car. Oops.)

Hope your Monday was a blessed one! Lord willing, I’ll be back into more normal blogging routines starting tomorrow.

Yours,
Tara B.

Wow.

Amazing list over at IX Marks:

Seventeen Things That Seminary Never Taught Me

What a great reminder to pray for our pastors.

I have never done this before–and I’m not sure that my friends would want me to post this information, so I’ll be sure to keep their identifying information out of this post.

But I’ve been meaning to write for a few months now to ask if any of you might know of a PCA church that would benefit from a extraordinarily winsome, humble, brilliant, godly associate pastor.

Our current intern (we have interns every year as a part of our ministry to the greater Church) is one of the strongest I have ever observed. His sermon series have been biblically faithful, gospel saturated, solid theology with practical application for life–all delivered with grace and poise far beyond his young years.

Plus, he brings with him a highly gifted and loving wife who is a true asset to his ministry to the Lord and His Bride.

I know that many churches ONLY want pastors with years and years of experience–but sometimes, a young person can really grow with even just one year of the RIGHT experience (working with elders and deacons to learn what biblical peacemaking, biblical counseling, and redemptive church discipline look like in REAL LIFE; actually preparing and preaching through entire sermon series with detailed feedback from our senior pastor, teaching Sunday School classes and facilitating small groups, etc. etc.).

So anyway–if you’re looking for someone to come alongside your staff and be a blessing to your ministry, please please drop me a note and I’ll try to introduce you both.

Hoping to get back to sleep now–
It’s so great to be home! Even if only for a few days.

Much love,
Tara B.

Well ... our day was exhausting and wonderful and we went to bed grateful for all of God’s gracious provision and loving care.

(You might notice I said to bed–NOT to sleep–because here I sit. Again. Wide awake next to my soundly-sleeping, beloved hubby. Oh! That I could ever sleep as quickly and soundly as he does. But I guess we’re just WAY to different for that to ever happen.)

The highlights of my day were getting to pray with a wonderful, eclectic, diverse group of people in the early morning prayer time before my plenary session. They were so precious!

And then having to TAPE the wireless mic ONTO my very pregnant belly was, well, not so much a highlight, but it was something and we got it done (hooray!), but Fred and I were laughing at the absurdity of it. (What else can you do when the little belt clip has been broken off of the microphone and MATERNITY pants have NO pockets–well, unless you count the BIG “pocket” of stretchy material in the front to hold, you know, a BABY.) So hooray for duct tape! There is simply nothing it can’t do.

Fred’s case study was WONDERFUL and then his standing room only workshop was such a blessing to so many people. I sat right outside of the room (b/c I didn’t want to take up space since they had completely run out of chairs and people didn’t even have space to STAND)–so I could get him more copies and just be there to support him and cheer him on.

I was SO proud of him! He held up the glory of the gospel in such real-life practical ways! And how he shared about our little church was so Christ-centered and humble. It was a really helpful and edifying workshop. Hooray Fred!

And Hooray God for giving us the grace to serve.

It takes SO much effort and energy for we two introverts to interact with hundreds of people who want to talk, ask questions, weep with you over conflicts and hurts, seek your counsel on such important, life-changing issues. Wow! You just can’t help but feel the weight of the importance of even our tiny efforts to serve and love well.

We really try to lay it all out–pour ourselves out–to serve. And then we get back to our room and CRASH. We are wiped. Fred is so wiped that he’s sound asleep. I’m so wiped that I’m not. We are strange and different in so many ways.

Hopefully I will teach OK tomorrow morning and then we’ll get to give away $200 worth of peacemaking resources (fun fun!), enjoy a few minutes of the final session, but then have to leave a little early for the LONG drive back to Atlanta. If we can return our rental car and make all of our flights, we might be home as early as 1AM.

Oh! Oh! Oh! I am physically CRAVING my love bug Sophie bear! I miss her SO much!!
Plus, I learned that she got a cold today! So doesn’t THAT just make you want to get home and cuddle in together and veg out in front of a fun video!!

PLUS she is playing her fiddle song in our church’s variety show tomorrow night (we won’t be home until 1AM at the earliest–so we’ll miss it for sure) ... and I’m nervous for her! I hope it goes OK!!

Lord willing, she will be wrapped in my arms soon and I’ll be kissing and enjoying her she’ll be giggling away telling me about all of the adventures from her week.

I’m really excited to write some blogs on the things I am learning at this conference. There are so many opportunities to grow in serving through mercy ministries! Fred and I are excited and motivated to see what doors might open for us and for our church members too.

But right now? Since I have less than five hours before I have to be awake and able to teach–I think I’d better sign off and try to sleep.

Hope you are all happily sleeping away, wherever you may be!

THANK YOU FOR PRAYING FOR US!!! God is so gracious to us and the feedback seems to be that we were faithful in lifting high the gospel and that some of the people have been helped, encouraged, and blessed. So that thrills us!

All you can ever do is your best, right? Well, we did try our best. And now we have to let it go.

And so I shall.

Here I am signing off and letting it go and thanking God for a good day–

Sending you my love!

Yours,
Tara B.

I attended a wonderful workshop on special needs ministry and the church and I hope to share my notes with you one of these days (if I can pull myself together!).

But in the interim, I encourage you to click to this website and SCROLL DOWN to the bottom of the page and watch one of the videos. (One is 10 minutes long and the other is 20.)

They are professionally made and well worth your time!

Hope you enjoy–
And hope they might encourage you to think even more intentionally about how your church might integrated people with disabilities more purposefully into the life of your church.

Sending you my love!

Yours,
Tara B.

Just a quick note to let you know that Lilikoi is doing great–hooray!–and we’ll hopefully be off for our events in the morning. (Snow and ice might delay us a bit, but we’re hopeful that we’ll make it out OK.)

Hope you’re all doing well! I’ll try to write more if I get any time–but not having a laptop on my flights means that I can’t be nearly as productive.

Blessings and joy,
Tara B.

So we had a bit of a time settling in for the night.

We changed the bandages, checked the bleeding (it was slowing down), cleaned it, put on more triple antibiotic cream, rebandaged it, and bagged it for her last shee-shee run of the night. She wasn’t too fond of the bag, but she did her business and limped back inside.



Then we tried her dog collar to, ostensibly, keep her from chewing at the bandages ... but she just couldn’t settle down and find a comfortable way to sleep. So for 20 minutes, she just went nose to nose with me at the side of my bed.



(I swear that if dog eyes could talk, they would have epic messages to convey.)

So THEN we took off the collar and I have just been in hypervigilant, listening for every shift and sound, momma-ears-on-full-alert mode all night long. I don’t mind! I’m just glad that she’s on her bed next to me and I can (hopefully) keep her from chewing at the bandage while simultaneously reaching out and comforting her anytime she shifts or makes any sounds.

She even scruff-scruff-THUMPED her way downstairs with me right now just to press under my legs and I love that too.



I’m hoping that I’ll be able to get to sleep soon because I am really, really tired. BUT FIRST I thought I’d let you in on my (huge, painful) “AH-HAH” as to WHY I was SO freaking out when everything happened.

Even at the time, I knew that my wave of fear and freaking out response was WAY out of proportion to the situation ... but I just couldn’t figure out WHY my heart was so extremely troubled and I didn’t know HOW to fix it.

Until 3:30AM. Lying in bed. I began to see clearly why my heart was CRUSHED by those drops of blood and smears of blood on our floor ... it was because the very last time I ever saw our first Golden Retriever, Choza, she was at the vet’s, incredibly, incredibly sick, and I got to go and see her.

I was all alone in the room with her and she was DESPERATELY sick. She had been at the vet’s for three days and they did not know what was wrong with her. She was getting progressively sicker by the hour and they reached a point where they had to do exploratory laparoscopic surgery just to TRY to figure out what was going on and if they could save her.

So I only got to see her for a few minutes. (They said if I had stayed any longer, she would’ve put all of her energy into GOING HOME WITH ME rather than getting well, so I had to leave. I wanted to stay with her ALL NIGHT LONG in her kennel! But they said that she would have NO chance of recovery if I did.)

And in the last few minutes, she began to lose blood from EVERYWHERE. (Sorry to be so graphic.) I was terrified!! I didn’t know what to do!! SHE was terrified and SO scared and SO alone. Her eyes said to me, “Why is this happening? Why can’t you fix this? Please take me home! I am hurting and scared and all alone! Please help me!”

And there was NOTHING I could do.

The drops and smears of blood were there and then they took her away and I NEVER SAW HER AGAIN.

And THAT is why I am sitting here weeping in the middle of the night. It’s not about my dog’s cut paw–that’s a sad thing, but she’s really doing OK.

It’s that those drops of blood reminded my heart and mind of a TRAUMA that I experienced and for whatever reason, God is now bringing it up OUT of my subconscious mind and allowing me to GRIEVE IT.

That’s often how grief works, isn’t it? Something unrelated TOUCHES that deep hurt and at first we don’t understand what is happening. But then it becomes clearer. And then it becomes PERFECTLY clear. And then we name it. Feel it. Experience it. Grieve it. Share it. Bear it. And move on.

I was devastated when Choza died. I loved her so much! She was such a canine friend to me. I simply could not have imagined the first two years of Sophie’s life without Choza. She was like a great aunt–always present with me; helping me; giving me someone to talk with as I transitioned out of working outside of the home fulltime and into being home with a newborn fulltime.

Choza ADORED Sophia and was her constant companion and protector and friend. Choza was perfect around children and has earned and maintained the #1 Google hit for “The world’s most patient dog”:



And my heart’s pain TONIGHT was only a little bit about my sweet Lili having a sore paw. I am very hopeful that we will get her the medical care she needs–wound check, maybe an antibiotic shot, maybe some vet kenneling while we’re gone this week so that they can keep an eye on it. I am trusting and hoping that she will be fine.

Mostly, I was just re-grieving the loss of my first Golden and dealing with the tiny bit of PTSD that flashed into my heart and mind when I saw those drops of blood on our linoleum.

Big breath now. Everything is OK.

I’m going to have a glass of milk and try to get back to sleep now.

Thanks for letting me process all of this outloud with you–I really hope it helps me to sleep now.

Sending you love from your tired friend,
Tara B.

Well ... I’m trying to be more like Fred and NOT freak out ...

But we just found big, huge drops/smears of BLOOD all over our kitchen floor, living room carpet, back stairs, back landing, etc.

!!!

Apparently, Lilikoi cut her paw on a sharp stick (Soph went into super sleuth mode to see if she could figure out what cut Lili’s foot in the back yard and she found the culprit) and man! Did Lili cut the pad of her paw.

I held her and applied pressure while Fred cleaned up the blood (I was TOTALLY sick to my stomach at a) all of the blood and b) my poor little pup curled into my lap) and now we’re in the clean it / disinfect it / put antibiotic on / see if the bleeding stops / see if we’re making an unplanned late night trip to the vet mode.

Oh oh oh! Blood all over the floor and a sweet, pretty much CLINGING to me pup is NOT what I planned for my night. I really hope the cut isn’t as bad as it seems.

Oh, and I really hope I can NOT freak out. Fred is such a calm little son of a veterinarian (no euphemisms intended–he really is the son of a vet). I need to be more like him.

Back to petting my fuzzy little one while we get our other little one down for bedtime.

G'nite!

Yours,
Tara B.

Lots of good recommendations and links over at IX Marks:

God’s Will and Guidance

I was chatting with my best friend Samara quite a bit this week. It was her birthday, so that gave me lots of excuses to call. Plus, the PCA church plant that they participate in has been prayerfully looking for a location to host them and I wanted to know an update on how things are progressing and how we can continue to pray.

Plus, of course, I just LOVE to chat with Samara at any time about any thing because she is such an interesting and fun friend.

In our call today she totally had me roaring with laughter at myself as she asked how I was feeling about my workshops and plenary next week in Chattanooga and I replied with my standard response of: “I’m not where I wanted to be in my prep; I sure don’t feel ready; I’m trying hard! But I still have a long way to go.”

Even before the words were out of my mouth, I started to laugh as I asked her if I had EVER said ANYTHING different about any speaking event, Christian mediation case, conflicted church intervention ... any anything that I was trying to prepare for.

Have I ever even ONCE said something like, “Well. Yup. I think I’m ready. I’ve got everything I need good to go. My packing is done. My handouts are copied and packaged up. Speaker notes are filed and tabbed and I’m 100% ready and I feel really very good about it all.”

Samara just laughed and laughed and laughed as she replied, “Uh. No. I can’t say that I’ve ever heard you say anything even remotely CLOSE to that.”

So then it hit me that MAYBE I just need to LAUGH at myself and GIVE MYSELF A BREAK.

Work, pray, be diligent? ABSOLUTELY!
Seek counsel, seek help to improve, seek oversight? YES!
Listen, change things, listen more, change even more? You bet!
But then? LET IT GO.

Do your best, beg for God’s help and mercy, and let it go.

That’s where I’m at tonight. And I am hopeful that I might even get to sleep! Oh, oh, oh glorious sleep! What a gift that would be.

Soph was such a trooper getting her FOUR vaccination shots for being such a big girl 5 year old. What a gift of God’s grace that we can access those vaccines and hopefully protect her from such AWFUL diseases.

Holding her on my lap as she said, “Persevere! Persevere! Persevere!” quietly under her breath when she started to get scared right before the shots were administered, I was overwhelmed with praying for the millions of mothers who would give ANYTHING to be able to protect their beloved children from these devastating diseases. Oh oh oh! How blessed we are–even down at our little “free clinic” (where shots are only $12/ea, thank God!).

Now she’s free until her teen years–except for flu shots. We are BIG flu shot proponents around here. I hope we never miss 'em. They have saved us from a LOT of sickness and a LOT of misery.

Mmmmm ... I’m really rambling now. Must be my very tired brain.

I’ll close by wishing my best friend and beloved sister, Kali, and HER FRED a happy, happy, BLESSED Wedding Anniversary today! I hope that you are having a wonderful weekend celebrating together!!

Oh, and I’ll also close by telling you that Lilikoi ATE soph’s vaccination RECORD when it was folded and resting IN MY PURSE in the car. I had run in to get soph from a playdate and then we were going to head to the clinic ... but suddenly I had NO RECORD!!! Thankfully, I called and they said that they could easily print me out another one (hooray!) but can you believe that puppy? She’s a paper eater!! (Even around FOOD ITEMS that I would’ve thought would’ve been much tastier. Nope! She left THEM and ATE my immunization record.) Too funny. You just gotta laugh.

Hope your Friday was a blessed one!

Big day tomorrow–much to do. I pray that you enjoy a lovely weekend!

Yours,
Tara B.

I’m no technological whiz or anything ...

But when “the shop” that has had your laptop for OVER A MONTH talks about replacing the motherboard (on top of the other, you know, three SIMPLE things that were supposed to be fixed initially that THEN became five more because they apparently installed the new CD/DVD drive incorrectly and the whole thing overheated, blah blah blah) ...

Am I right in assuming that a) I am NEVER going to get my laptop back; and b) even if I do, it’s just not going to work very well?

Hmmmmm ...

Oh well, there are a lot worse things in life, right?

I just can’t believe that I might have to actually travel Tuesday-Saturday next week AND the following Thursday-Sunday SANS LAPTOP. Even just the thought of it feels SO strange! What will I do? Will I just walk past the password sign in the WorldClub without even glancing at it? Are there people in the world who actually DO that? No webcamming with Soph? No catching up on emails (sorry to everyone who is waiting on a long overdo reply from me by the way!)?

Could I possibly have a carryon that doesn’t way a thousand pounds because it is chock-full of things to-do (all requiring a laptop of course)? Would I read? Have actual real-life interactions with people in 3-D?

Strange strange strange.
AND PATHETIC that it’s even this strange for me, eh?

Oh! How grateful I am for God’s love and the love of my family and a few friends who don’t just roll their eyes and walk away when the “real” me comes out – but instead, they love me and help me to be the woman God is calling me to be.

(Because I surely would’ve given up on me a LONG time ago!)

I’m in the zone this morning to finish all of my speaker notes for next week–it would sure feel GREAT to have them printed out and tucked away. Then, onto handouts and laundry and packing. One thing at a time, right?

Sending you my love and hoping you are doing well!

Yours,
Tara B.

PS
Please do continue to keep frequent commenter here and PeaceGals moderator “Ruth M.” in your prayers. She has a new update on her CaringBridge site to help you to pray more specifically. Thanks! – tkb

I hope your Wednesday was a blessed one–

Mine was full. It is late. I still am not sleeping well (Monday night I slept from 4-5AM and that was IT!) and I’m WIPED.

So without any links
or pithy sayings
or even any reflections on the highs and lows of my day–

I wish you goodnight! And hope to be back serving you a little better tomorrow.

Your tired, slightly grumpy for no reason at all, AND simultaneously grateful friend,
(am I WEIRD or what?!)
- Tara B.

This has been on so many blogs lately, I have no idea who to credit–but I finally took the two minutes to watch it. Definitely worth the time.

I’m working hard on my teachings for next week (thanks again for the prayers and encouragement!), but took a quick break to get some food and check in on some blogs.

Tim Challies had a bunch of links worth checking out today, but one in particular seemed apropos to my current task at hand:

Ten Questions to Ask to Benefit from a Conference or Special Event (by Don Whitney)

How I pray that my tiny offerings of these workshops and this plenary address will be God-glorifying, edifying, and helpful/encouraging even in some small way.

Hope your Tuesday is going well!

Yours,
Tara B.

Between Two Worlds recently posted a link to someone’s live blog of “the spirited exchange on February 21 between Alvin Plantinga and Daniel Dennett–two premier philosophers on opposite sides of the spectrum on naturalism–at the Central Division of the American Philosophical Association.”

If you like to read theology, philosophy, and especially the philosophy OF theology, you’ll enjoy this exchange quite a bit:

An Opinionated Play-by-Play of the Plantinga-Dennett Exchange

I’m more familiar with Alvin’s (brilliant) brother Cornelius Plantinga, but I sure would love to read more in this topical area.

BTW–If you’re interested in a VERY readable book that analyzes naturalism, the first one I ever read was by one of my heroes of the faith, Prof. Phillip E. Johnson: Reason in the Balance. (His Darwin on Trial is also fantastic and VERY readable.)

IX Marks recently posted a quote worth thinking about from missiologist George W. Peters:

"An unfortunate and abnormal historic development has produced autonomous, missionless churches on the one hand and autonomous churchless missionary societies on the other hand."

Too true, don’t you think?

Tim Challies just posted a link to some screamin' deals on great books that recently went on sale over at ebay from a pastor who is selling his library.

And cutie-bear Fred Barthel just put up the 2009 Peacemaker Conference website.

I encourage you to check them out!

Oh my stars! I was feeling so self-conscious about my previous post (Was I too whiny? How can I complain when I have such a blessed life? Maybe I should just take it down ...).

But then you all started sending such sweet, “I can relate! And I’m clinging to Christ too!” and “Don’t be too hard on yourself!” emails that I thought MAYBE I might just leave it up.

And THEN? Dear Anita send me a GREAT HARVEST gift bag filled with LITERALLY our FAVORITE things:



The whole wheat bread we used to eat before we moved to thrift store, week-old, 75 cent loafs; raspberry jam–truly our family’s FAVORITE!–granola (we eat granola every day!), AND one of those super-cool, feels so domestic-diva, thick spready knifey bread thingies?

Well, I KNEW I was a blessed woman even as I wrote of my struggles, but now, after time at co-op with such gracious local friends AND such love from my “long-distance/email/blog” friends? Well, I’m actually FEELING it too.

So thanks, all!

And truly, THANK YOU, Anita for the tangible, yummy, healthy representation of love. I’m SO grateful!! (And if you send me your snail mail address, I’ll send you a REAL thank you too.)

Time to do some dusting and wipe things down for small group tonight ...

Sending you my love,
Tara B.

We’re in Chapter 17 of Book 1 in our Blogging the (John Calvin) Institutes journey this week–and I have already been tremendously blessed.

I appreciate the many detailed explanations and biblical examples of how all things are divinely ordained by God; the providence of God is to be considered with reference to both the past and the future; God takes care of the whole human race, but is especially vigilant in governing the church, etc.

I must admit that “my carnal sense murmured” when he discussed when “calamity takes precedence even of birth”–but we must “use modesty, not as it were compelling God to render an account, but so revering his hidden judgments as to account his will the best of all reasons.”

(We still miss the child we lost in 2007 so very much. And I honestly still can’t go a day without wondering if the child I am currently carrying is even alive, or has any chance of “really” joining us this July.)

Still ... section eight of this same chapter was so honest about the true evil of some “secondary causes” and so rich with gospel truth that even I slept quite soundly last night:

- All men are under God’s power; this knowledge is necessarily followed by gratitude in prosperity, patience in adversity, and incredibly security for the time to come

- If any thing adverse befalls him, he will forthwith raise his mind to God, whose hand is most effectual in impressing us with patience and placid moderation of mind. Had Joseph kept his thoughts fixed on the treachery of his brethren, he never could have resumed fraternal affection for them. But turning toward the Lord, he forgot the injury, and was so inclined to mildness and mercy.

- If there is no more effectual remedy for anger and impatience, he assuredly has not made little progress who has learned so to meditate on divine providence, as to be able always to bring his mind to this, The Lord willed it, it must therefore be borne; not only because it is unlawful to strive with him, but because he wills nothing that is not just and befitting.

- Let us remember to ascend to God.

Praying that we are all remembering to ascend to God!

And sending you my love–

Yours,
Tara B.

I am SO far behind the times technologically-wise, that I could only SURMISE what terms like iPhone / iApp actually MEAN.

But assuming that most of you are WAY more savvy then me, I wanted to link you over to Carolyn McCulley’s great post on an iPhone app that helps to coordinate MEALS for families in need.

We’re still doing this diaconal service the old fashioned way at our church (calls and lists and more calls), but I have tried my best to pass along various websites that help too. (So far, to no avail in our local church.)

Maybe the iApp will tip our leaders over into embracing how technology can help in these situations!

Thanks, Carolyn, for the great information.

Happy Tuesday, all!

Yours,
Tara B.

You probably don’t know that I have REALLY bad knees.

I’ve had bad knees my entire life–even back when I was athletic and in shape. (Wow! Was I ever athletic and in shape? Seems like a zillion years ago.)

Anyway ... I’ve had multiple surgeries including two incredibly invasive, bone-cutting, re-aligning, the last step before total knee replacement surgeries. Sometimes the pain is manageable, sometimes I resort to heat and ice and old-man-bengay-rubs and any drugs I can take.

But not when I’m pregnant, of course. So today I went and saw my knee surgeon to see if there was anything we can do for the next four and a half months because WOW! The pain in my right knee is, at times, EXCRUCIATING. It literally wakes me up out of a deep sleep. I describe it to Fred as if someone were taking a hammer and nail and literally NAILING through the top of my knee cap.

(Ouch!)

Anyway ... in addition to my standard alignment and arthritis problems, the new information we learned today is that a tiny piece of bone has chipped off of my knee cap and is currently floating around my tendon. Hence, the “only occasional” excruciating pain. If it shifts into a sensitive spot, YOWZA! But if it’s tucked in and not rubbing against anything too much, just normal pain level.

Nothing to be done about that now, of course. But if this little one makes his or her happy arrival this summer, I might be going under the knife for a simple little “pop that piece o' bone out of your knee” surgery.

Sometimes it’s just nice to know that there really IS something wrong (it’s not in my head!) and that there is help–even if it’s a few months away.

OK. Back to tackling the chaos.

With joy,
Tara B.

Ray Ortlund posted this video over on his blog and it was a pleasure to see again:



(WARNING! Some curse words are spoken at the very beginning.)

If you haven’t yet seen The Shawshank Redemption, I hope that you will one day. Fred and I were so disturbed and enthralled and encouraged by it when we first saw it years ago. It truly is a classic. (But again, be warned, there are curse words and “adult” situations – extreme injustices, violence, etc. – that some of you might not tolerate in your movie watching.)

Back to making order out of chaos –

Your friend,
Tara B.

Just a quick note to let you know that I’ll be missing my laptop for a few weeks (it’s being repaired) – so I’m hoping to stay on top of things blog-wise and email-wise, but it might be a little hard.

In the interim, I’m using a really (REALLY!) old computer of ours–and I have to say, it’s pretty funny to see the mix of websites in my “favorites” since Fred dumped my current ones into my old ones. Life goes by so quickly, eh? I’m seeing lots of links to SCUBA shops we used to love, a consultant gig I no longer do, and a bank at which we no longer have an account.

Guess I’ll be doing a little deleting, even though this set up is only temporary because, you know, I’m me. I de-clutter out of habit AND pleasure.

Hope your week is going well. I’d really appreciate your prayers for Fred and the leadership team at Peacemakers as they are trying to get a video series for church leaders done–and a) it’s REALLY hard technology-wise; and b) the topics are incredibly important and “deep”, and they’re trying to cover a lot of information in a short amount of time. They really need God’s favor this week if they are going to get it done.

Will try to write more soon! Even on this OLD machine. I’ll be giving it my best shot.

With joy,
Tara B.

Sophie and I enjoyed a lovely day–hope you did too.

I’m about to head to bed, but after my quick check of Taylor Lynde’s current offerings on ebay, I just had to share two of them with you:



"Icy Waters of the Tongue River, Wyoming" 24x30



"Kintla Wilderness, Glacier National Park" 24x32

I just can’t even IMAGINE being able to create such beauty. What a grace!

(Oh, and be sure to click through the titles to see PHOTOS of TJ onsite painting these. I love the photos!)

G'nite and God bless!

Yours,
Tara B.

PS
Hi Georgia ladies!! Thanks so much for having me at your retreat this past weekend. I loved being with you. Blessings! – tkb

While I’m happily ensconced in the wilds of Georgia, serving at a retreat (with no wifi or cell coverage), here’s a little “posted in advance old-y but hopefully good-y” blog post for ya':

Is it REALLY Possible to CHANGE?!

Let me tempt you to read it with just two excerpts (both quotes from Lane & Tripp’s, “How People Change”):

"This life of self-examination and joyful discontent should not be confused with a life of paralyzing self-condemnation."

“God does not call us to self-loathing, but to a willingness to examine our lives in light of our hope as new creatures in Christ. That hope is not only based on the promise of forgiveness, but on the promise of personal deliverance and restoration as well. The same grace that has forgiven me is now in the process of radically changing me.”

Amen & Amen!

And blessed Sunday to you all–

(If I make some tight connections on all three flights tonight, I might be home around midnight. 2AM for my currently-adjusted-to-east-coast time bod, but still! Home is home. Here’s hopin'.)

Yours,
Tara B.

I’m not really sure that any of you would really WANT an “official” Peacemaker Ministries SHIRT ...

But if you do, now’s your chance to get one!

VisualAdvantage (the world’s best shirt maker) is offering the Peacemaker shirts for sale to the public–but only for one month. So get your orders in by March 1 if you want one.

(And no, no, I have absolutely NO stake in this little venture. No profits or commissions or anything. I just know that lots of you really like Peacemakers, so I just wanted to be sure you knew about the sale.)

Blessings to you!

Yours,
Tara B.

PS
This little announcement deserves a HT to my darling Fred who blogged about the sale on the Peacemaker Ministries blog, Route 5:9. As an aside, he ALSO blogged about our recent fight, so click on over if you’d like to hear HIS take on our quarrel and Sophie’s efforts to be a peacemaker.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the media–especially in the United States currently, but also throughout our country’s history, and the role of the media around the world.

Like most topics, I’m quite ignorant in this area. But one thing I know for sure–the impact of the media is important. Terribly important.

And the ruthless killing of Sri Lankan journalist Lasantha Wickramatunga is just one horrific example.

I know it’s off-topic from the normal gospel & relationships & peacemaking, etc. posts on this blog. But I encourage you to consider slowing down and taking a few minutes to read the editorial he wrote in anticipation of his murder. (He assumed that one day he would be killed because almost all honorable journalists in Sri Lanka are.)

And please do pray for our Christian brothers and sisters in Sri Lanka! Their Parliament is poised to pass an anti-conversion law in February, so things continue to decline there at an alarming rate.

Thanks and much love to you from Georgia!

Yours,
Tara B.

BrittleCrazyGlass posted an old Michael Jordon commercial because she found it “oddly encouraging.”

So did I! So here it is for your enjoyment. Wonder if any of you are oddly encouraged too?



(Most of life is just getting up off the mat, isn’t it?)

We learned something new about our Golden Retriever, Lilikoi, last night ... she’s a great watchdog!

If you know Goldens, this might surprise you a bit. They are so friendly and love people so much that I’ve always sort of assumed that Lili would greet a robber at the door with a friendly lick and lead him around the house, asking him to play fetch with her favorite toy.

But no. She would actually snarl and growl and BARK.
Hooray!

I really (REALLY!) like knowing that she is in-tune to strange sounds in the night and that there is no way anyone could even get close to our home without us knowing about it.

Like last night ...

I don’t know why, but a car and a truck stopped in the street right outside of our front door. The drivers, two men, were just talking in low, gentle voices (maybe on their way to work a late shift?). But Lili didn’t like that at all. Her barking woke us up and when I went down to check on her, she insisted on going outside in the back and prowled by our gate, growling and barking until I called her back inside. (And, of course, praised her and assured her that everything was OK.)

I love it!

And when Sophie woke up this morning, she liked it too–and immediately said, “Just like Choza!” (Our first Golden.)

Choza was, beyond a doubt, the calmest, kindest, sweetest dog around children EVER.





(Did you notice Soph’s FINGER in Choza’s EYE in that one photo? )

Choza was patient and sweet, to be sure, but NOT if you were a strange man trying to come into our backyard when I was out there with the baby. Gordon, the world’s nicest postal carrier? A friendly meter reader? You would not see a gentle dog, you would see a giant dog plant her front legs and take an aggressive stance with her hackles up as you saw teeth and heard LOUD barking.

“Don’t you hurt my pack!” Sophie and I always said Choza was barking. “Stay away!” Well, until my alpha dog mom says you’re OK, then (lick lick lick), “Want to play?!?”

Ahhhhh–life with dogs. Worth the hair and mess. We just love 'em.

Happy Monday to you!

Yours,
Tara B.

Dear friends,

The PeaceGals Moderators received some very, very hard news this morning when our own PeaceGal Moderator, and frequent commenter on this blog, and friend, “Ruth from NC” shared this prayer request with us:

"Two weeks ago I detected a questionable lump at my right temple so head, neck, and brain scans were done yesterday and we saw the doctor this morning. He confirmed that the tumor is back...with a vengeance. It has overtaken the remainder of the right masticular (chewing) muscle and has invaded the right eye socket, wrapped the optic nerve, traversed the cranial wall and the brain lining. They are unable to confirm via any scans if it is in the brain or on the nerve of the brain stem.

He emphasized that this tumor would take precedence over the lung cancer and would soon create havoc of different kinds, not the least of which would be loss of vision. He expressed concern about the pain levels and for now, the pain is tolerable but increasing daily.

We are waiting now to hear back from the oncologist in Houston as to how to proceed. The treatment options are limited but it’s generally acknowledged that if something is available, MD Anderson Cancer Center is best equipped to know it and administer it.

Humanly speaking, it’s not good news. But while I have difficulty finding words right now, I do know that as believers in the Lord Jesus Christ, we are not limited to or by human language and circumstance.

Meanwhile we are hunkering down and wrestling with the news, trusting the Holy Spirit’s intercession with “groanings too deep for words.” (Romans 8 ) This site will be updated as information is available. Thank you for praying with and for us.

Grace and peace,
Ruth"

I have Ruth’s permission to post this (of course) and I do ask that you might please keep Ruth, her beloved husband and young children in your prayers.

Thanks much!

Yours,
Tara B.



PeaceGal Moderators Sarah Joy, Emily, Ruth, and Tara B.
(not pictured: Anne, Julie, Shannon, and Tara S.)

Do you guys have a Bible study recommendation that I could look into?

In a strange twist, I’m praying about serving the women in our church by leading a women’s study. Can’t really believe it–but there’s a need and I have a very quiet travel season this spring, so I’m praying about it.

I’d love to know what studies you recommend if you have a moment.

Thanks much!
– Tara B.

2AM and we’re HOME. Thank God!!

The snow / ice / frozen rain was a little treacherous for parts of Wyoming, but Fred was super safe and Sophie slept for 90% of the ride.

Now if we can just get our brains to turn off the “warp speed in the Millennium Falcon” effect (from driving in snow for ten hours), we’ll be all set for a little sleep.

THANK YOU for praying. The surgery went GREAT and Sophie had absolutely no complications.

Will write more soon—

G’nite / G’mornin—

Love,
Fred, Tara & Sophia

Thanks for all of the nice emails and notes. What a blessing to wake up to virtual hugs!

Sophie and I are having a quiet, hungry (for her) morning. (Jello and popsicles only satisfy for a few minutes and she has a long, solid-food-free-day ahead of her, poor love.)

We’ll head to the hospital around noon and she should be going into her deep sleep by 2:00. They let us stay with her until she’s out–and they wait to put her I.V. in until she’s asleep (nice).

I think we’re feeling as OK about all of this as we can. This morning as we snuggled in bed, Sophie said:

"Mom, this has been kind of a hard week. I’ve had so many doctor appointments that we haven’t gotten to cuddle enough. But once we get home, we can cuddle all day and night until we’re all caught up, OK?"

Sounds good to me!

Oh–and we MAY be home VERY late tonight (2AM??) ... there is snow forecasted for Wednesday, so we’re thinking that if post-op goes well and we can get on the road by 5 or 6PM, we’re going to just get on the road and try to power through at least Wyoming. (Winter driving through Casper is the WORST.)

So that’s out day in a nutshell. Thank you for caring and for praying–

With love,
Tara B.

Wow. I had no idea this existed. Did you?

The Life Photo Archive (Hosted by Google)

(HT: CakeWrecks for giving me more than just a giggle today.)

Have you checked out CCEF’s new website?

I stumbled onto it late last week when it first launched, but it crashed within minutes of my logging in. Some people must’ve been working hard over the weekend, though, because it seems to be running great now.

Hooray for CCEF’s tech team! And all of the staff, too, because WOW! It takes a LOT of time and effort to design, program, and launch a new website.

Reminds me of when we moved to Montana to join the staff of Peacemaker Ministries. Fresh off the boat from our big-six consulting firm (Fred) and high net-worth estate planning firm (me), we faced a new world where a tiny ministry still distributed phone messages via a paper notebook & a plastic spindle; no computers were networked to each other; no one used email; and the website pretty much consisted of a handful of pages ... “welcome to Peacemaker Ministries” (and the hands-shaking-in-the-form-of-a-cross-logo), “the slippery slope”, and an outdated ol' “events schedule.”

(Granted, it was particularly hard for the website to stay updated or grow because Ken Sande himself was the web designer and maintainer before Fred arrived!)

Fred got to work (as a volunteer for months) and slowly, PM started to integrated changes. God provided some equipment and funding, and since we were living in someone’s (gorgeous!) basement and didn’t even have a plant to keep alive (more or less a child or a Golden Retriever), we just worked and worked. And worked.

I’m incredibly proud of all Fred has done to serve the Lord and His Kingdom through his faithful service at Peacemakers. I’m even more proud of his missionary heart that willingly and joyfully left behind a great career when the opportunity to serve arose. He’s a keeper, that Steady Freddy.

ANYWAY ... enjoy CCEF’s new website and all that your Monday holds for you. Sophie and I are planning a special momma-daughter-pre-surgery-fun-day.

(Thanks again for praying for her tomorrow afternoon! And for me. I’m still working hard to push back fear with faith and remember that Jesus carries my burdens and His yoke is easy.)

Blessings to you!

Yours,
Tara B.

I woke this morning after a restless, headache-filled night, to three things that have helped to encourage me and prepare me for worship:

1. I remembered God’s mercy to sinners like me.

2. I received an email from a friend and was reminded that I am not alone.

3. Pastor Ray Ortlund pointed me to Psalm 27 and helped me to dispel doubts and fears.

And now I get to receive God’s grace through the preaching of the Word? Well, I’m a blessed woman.

Hope your Sabbath is restful and God-centered.

Yours,
Tara B.

Thanks for the prayers and kind notes, everyone. We had another long day at the children’s hospital–but we think we may be narrowing in on a potential diagnosis (and, thankfully, help for Sophie) ...

After both the brain and abdominal CT’s came back perfectly normal (hooray!), and her blood work was clear too (hooray!), Sophia had a complete neurological workup and received a diagnosis of an abdominal migraine. We had never even heard of such a thing! But her symptoms line up exactly with the diagnosis and there is a spike in incidence at ages 5 and 10, and a higher incidence in girls. (Sophie is exactly 5 years old.)

We still need to have the endoscopy on Tuesday–and I have to admit that both Sophie and I are a little nervous about that. General anesthesia is always a risk, plus they will take multiple biopsies. Probably, everything will be fine. But we’re feeling the weight of it all.

If the endoscopy doesn’t show inflammation or irritation / acid reflux / muscle spasms / the stomach not closing properly, etc. ... I think we’ll be released to go home to Montana on Wednesday with pre-emptive orders and a migraine prescription in hand. Then, if she has another attack, we’ll administer the migraine medicine AS we load her into the car to head to the hospital with the orders for certain blood work and abdominal scans (to be done while she is in the midst of an attack).

If the migraine meds stop the attack? Well, that’s a strong if not conclusive indication that it really is an abdominal migraine.

That’s pretty much all of the news. We are spending the weekend with our dear friends (and adoptive grandparents for Soph), Cap'n Dave and Auntie Pat Edling. We’ll head back to Aurora on Monday for the surgery on Tuesday. Thank you for praying for no complications and continued wisdom for the doctors.

The human body is amazing and we are so grateful for this world-class medical care.

Blessings on your weekend! Thanks again for your kindness–

With love,
Tara B.

We made it through the CTs just fine. Soph was a trooper and the nurses/techs were gracious and professional.

I, on the other hand, am becoming a bit of a wreck.

I didn’t anticipate this and I have to admit it’s really, really hard. Probably just the combination of getting over being sick, hormones, stress/fear re: all of the “what if's” related to Sophie, being away from home, driving two hours every day to and from the hospital, being surrounded by incredibly sick babies and children at the hospital, etc. etc.

If I could find a quiet room where I felt safe and a friend’s shoulder to cry on, I’m pretty sure I’d just weep. Not over anything in particular. Just exhausted and a little sad and a little scared. And we don’t even have anything “for sure” going on that’s serious in our lives! (Can you imagine if all of this just turns out to be allergies or something? Or maybe we never know what happened but – YEAH GOD!! – maybe it simply never returns??)

ANYWAY ... our drive home tonight was pleasant in that we be-bopped away to “The Music Man” (we LOVE to sing “pick-a-little-talk-a-little” and “good night ladies”) and “Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat” (I think I saw that THREE times in Chicago I loved it so much) ...

But our drive was also unpleasant because, apparently, Boulder is ON FIRE.



Yup. We drove closer and closer to FLAMES and the air become increasingly smoke-filled and there you have it ... 11,000+ evacuations and 6,000+ acres lost already on a mountain that feels VERY CLOSE to my aunt and uncle’s home (but which is actually, I keep being assured, miles and miles away and pretty much the entire city of Boulder would have to burn to the ground before we’d even come to close to being at risk).

Still ... it was just what I needed to help me to SNAP OUT OF IT and CALM DOWN, don’t you think?

Oh well. God is still on His throne and nothing, absolutely nothing, can thwart His purposes. So I’m heading to bed now (after having given my sleeping daughter about a million kisses) and leaving it all to His perfect care.

Hope your week is going well and that your town is not on fire.

With much love,
Tara B.

Thanks again for the encouraging notes and prayers.

We’re currently in radiology trying to get Sophie to drink her (nasty) contrast material. It’s not as bad as the barium, but it’s still pretty hard.

Just found out that she has to have an I.V. too ... needles are hard for anyone, eh? But little kids? Poor love.

Soph’s trying hard to not worry too much, but it’s a difficult time for all of us.

And I lost my wifi! So I don’t know when I’ll get to a computer again.

Please know that I appreciate all of your kindness and encouragement!

Yours,
Tara B.

Thanks so much for the prayers, everyone!

We had a very good day at the hospital. What an amazing grace it is to be able to access such incredibly medical care!

Our doctor seems very intelligent, experienced, and thorough, so that’s great. We spent just over an hour with her and then Sophie had to persevere through an uncomfortable internal exam and a slew of blood work. Not pleasant–but so good to check for, well, everything. They’re looking for allergies, metabolic diseases, anything related to the live, pancreas ... really, anything you can think of.

We will go back to the hospital tomorrow afternoon for an abdominal CT series and a brain CT. I’m really praying that Sophie can drink the contrast liquid without getting sick–the nurse said that’s the hardest part of the abdominal CT.

The brain CT was a surprise to us, but the doctor explained that sometimes when otherwise “perfectly healthy” children vomit without any explanation (no tie to a food or activity or time of day or whatever), it can sometimes be a migraine, an abdominal migraine (which we had never even heard of), or a small, benign cyst/tumor in the brain that pushes up at the just the right location to cause vomiting.

Fred and I can’t imagine that’s the problem–but we’re glad they’re being so thorough. I really believe that if the underlying clause is detectable/identifiable, this doctor and her team will find it. But of course we might not know, and that’s OK too. God will give us what we need when we need it, no matter what.

We will need to stay here in Colorado at least through Friday morning, when we’ll meet with the doctor and discuss the findings from all of these tests. And then we may get to come home–but we may need to stay through the weekend so that Sophia can have an endoscopy early next week. That’s a lot more invasive, of course, and requires sedation–so the doctor wants to wait and see if it is necessary after these other tests are completed.

So that’s all the news from Lake Woebegone. We’re rejoicing at God’s gracious provision of a place to stay here in Colorado. (Because WOW! We never could’ve afforded a week/ten days in a hotel.) And my friend–who was visiting Lili every day–just called me to ask if she could KEEP Lilikoi for the week at her home so that she doesn’t have to be all alone the majority of every day and night. Of course we said, “Wow! Yes! Thank you!” So Lili is currently romping with two other Goldens or cuddled up in a loving home–which is a big load off of my mind too.

I promise to let you know when I know anything–but that probably won’t be until Friday at the earliest.

Hope your week is going well!

With love from Colorado,
Tara B.

Well ... so far, so good. I’m reading Calvin’s Institutes (and loving it, by the way) and looking forward to the Ref21 Monday-Friday blogging of the Institutes starting tomorrow (January 5).

It’s not too late to join in! The reading assignments aren’t that long and it’s really encouraging, edifying stuff. (The kind that makes you go, “Yes! That’s TRUE! Amen! Thank You, Lord!”)

Still need a reason to try? Check out Ligon Duncan’s Ten Reasons to Read Through Calvin’s Institutes in 2009.

Hope to see you over on the Blogging the Institutes Discussion!

Yours,
Tara B.

Just a quick note to say hello the all of the wonderful women over at Laced with Grace.

Thanks for interviewing me and for offering my video series in your giveaway!

I hope that we will stay in touch–

Yours,
Tara B.

Pastor JollyBlogger is home!

And his first blog entry post-hospital is worth reading for all of us:

12-30-08 Health Update

He closes it by pointing us to Psalm 46 and Matthew 6:34:

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

A good word for us all, don’t you think?

Please do continue to keep Pastor JollyBlogger in your prayers.

Sending you love–
Tara B.

Wow. How many people do you think would do the right thing in THIS situation?

Calif. family finds $10,000 in box of crackers

Good job, Rogoffs!

Want to read a story about living the gospel? Don’t miss this one:

Every Year a New Baby–and More Joy

In particular, be sure to watch/listen to the audio slideshow. It only takes two minutes, but it’s a sweet, gospel-soaked two minutes.

(HT: TakeYourVitaminZ!)

Please pray for our beloved Pastor JollyBlogger (David Wayne) as he was diagnosed with cancer last week. You can read about the details here:

I Have Cancer

Hey, friends!

I just received another Google hit on my name based on my DVD series, and I was wondering if any of you would be willing to pop over to Faithwebbin Online Magazine and, you know, make some sort of glowing comment about the series.

If so, the link is:

A New Word to Describe Your Life–Peaceful

Only if you honestly liked the series, of course.

( !)

Recommendations really mean a lot, so thanks in advance for even considering helping me out.

Sophie and I are making “A Year of CrockPotting's” Peanut Clusters for our neighbors (and yes, for us of course!) ... but oh no! My crockpot was too small. Might need to invest in a larger size for 2009.

Hope your day is going great!

Much love,
Tara B.

Are any of you thinking about joining the Reformation21 guys and reading Calvin’s Institutes in 2009?

I am SO lazy that I hesitate to set such a difficult goal. But I WAS just saying to myself, “I think I’d really like to read the ENTIRE Institutes in 2009.” And then the Ref21 guys said that they would be “blogging the Institutes” and one of my all-time favorite churchmen, Pastor Anyabwile, just mentioned today that he and his wife are going to read through them together.

So ... maybe 2009 is the year for me. How about you?

Everyone gets a Trudy CD!

And I’d love to send them, friends, but I need you to email me your mailing addresses:

- Every Amy except for Amy C from Lynchburg VA (lots o' Amys in my online world and I don’t know who you are)
- Shannon
- Lauren
- Christine
- Laura

Oh ... and to the five of you who are still waiting on your “Radical Womanhood” books ... I contacted the author again this week to let her know that the copies never arrived and she’s having them re-sent. Sorry for the delay!

Love to all,
Tara B.

PS
Update ... thanks Claudia, Jenny, Dede, and Marilyn for the addresses. I’m shipping your CDs tomorrow morning.

TakeYourVitaminZ has blessed us all again–this time with a lovely interview with Fernando Ortega.

Enjoy!

Loved this (practical, Christ-centered!) article:

Making Corporate Prayer More Attractive

Alan Jacobs' blog is making me think and making me uncomfortable–both of which are good things in this context.

A recent post linked over to Neal Stephenson’s, “In the Beginning Was the Command Line” and I encourage you to consider reading it. It can be downloaded in its entirety for free–but be warned: it is LONG and it contains a few swear-words. Those things aside, it is definitely worth the uncomfortable read.

3:50AM here. Couldn’t sleep and finally decided to just get up and get some things done.

I’m thanking God for a small, well-built home that is keeping our minus-15 degree temperatures away from our family. (A recent DVD order to Hawaii mentioned how their wind chill is down to 85 degree! Hah!)

Hope you’re all tucked away and sleeping soundly–

Your friend,
Tara B.

We made it back just after midnight and had a wonderful morning at co-op. We were both craving history, phonics, math, science, crafts–and mostly? Time with our dear, dear friends.

We also celebrated Sophia’s 5th birthday (which technically is tomorrow):



AND, our big news of the day is that Sophia “officially” passed her Children’s Catechism exam with Pastor Jason.



All 150 questions! Whew! She’s been working hard and it was quite an accomplishment.

Last thing we did today was take out her braids:



And now I’m going to start unpacking us. Eek! Much to do before I sleep.

Love to all! Hope you had a great Tuesday–

Yours,
Tara B.

Well ... we’ve had a great trip, but we’re all excited to back in our own home tonight. This is true even though it is currently MINUS 16 DEGREES in Billings. (Yes, temperature–NOT windchill.) EEEEEEEEK!

We’re most looking forward to being with Lilikoi again. (Sophie and I agree that vacations would be perfect if Lili could come with us. Everything is more fun with a Golden.)



But I’m also looking forward to what I consider to be one of the best gifts a husband could ever give a wife (IF she agrees, of course): I get to walk in the door tonight to a perfectly, freshly, wonderfully CLEAN house.

Starting a few years ago, whenever our finances would so allow, Fred started paying a friend to clean our home the last day before we returned home from a trip. That way, I would still have a ton of work to do re: unpacking, laundry, going through mail, etc. etc. BUT, I would have crisp, clean sheets and freshly vacuumed and dusted everything–mmmmmmmmm. What a luxurious gift! I’m so blessed. I can see why people who can afford it have other people clean their homes ALL the time.

So one more day visiting with family here in Chicago and we’ll fly home late tonight. Sophie started our morning by asking for a barf bucket while we were cuddling and talking in bed this morning–so that doesn’t bode well. But we’ve made it six of eight flights without an incident, so who knows? Maybe we’ll get home before she has another episode again. (Her appointment in Chicago with the pediatric gastroenterologist has been moved up to January 6, so I’m very, VERY grateful we’ll be seeing someone soon.)

Hope your Monday gets off to a great start!

Yours,
Tara B.

For whatever reason, this post over at IX Marks really made me laugh this morning:

What I’ve Been Doing During Mark’s Sabbatical

May favorite quote was:

"When people in our congregation move away and ask for advice on finding a church, I always tell them ‘There’s a fine line between Reformed and crazy’".

Thanks, Between Two Worlds, for introducing us to Dr. Alan Jacobs' new blog:

Text Patterns

I’m looking forward to reading it.

This excerpt is taken from his inaugural post:

"I’m a fifty-year-old professor of English and therefore, as you might suspect, a lifelong reader. Books and magazines have been near the core of my identity since I learned to read at age three. I love the printed word and think that it embodies a set of technologies whose virtues can’t be replaced by other media. But I also have a deep interest in and attachment to the online world; I tend to get pretty excited about what I can do, what I can learn, what I can read, and in general what I can experience online.

I’m interested in how reading on the page differs from reading on screens; in how different kinds of screens enable different kinds of knowledge; in the strategies and tools we employ for information gathering, for information ordering, and for information evaluating. I think a lot about linear and non-linear forms of organizing mental experience, and the technologies that make such organization easier or harder. I wonder about whether we’re really losing serendipity, as so many people say. I’m fascinated by the various speeds at which technologies move and by our ability (or, sometimes, inability) to match those speeds. I wonder what libraries are for and what they will be for."

If you’re so inclined, I hope you will read this slowly and discuss it with your children. It is not only historically accurate, it is encouraging–especially as we continue to pray for the many changes coming soon to our government.

The First National Proclamation of Thanksgiving as given by the Continental Congress in 1777:

"FOR AS MUCH as it is the indispensable Duty of all Men to adore the superintending Providence of Almighty God; to acknowledge with Gratitude their Obligation to him for Benefits received, and to implore such farther Blessings as they stand in Need of: And it having pleased him in his abundant Mercy, not only to continue to us the innumerable Bounties of his common Providence; but also to smile upon us in the Prosecution of a just and necessary War, for the Defense and Establishment of our unalienable Rights and Liberties; particularly in that he hath been pleased, in so great a Measure, to prosper the Means used for the Support of our Troops, and to crown our Arms with most signal success:

It is therefore recommended to the legislative or executive Powers of these UNITED STATES to set apart THURSDAY, the eighteenth Day of December next, for SOLEMN THANKSGIVING and PRAISE: That at one Time and with one Voice, the good People may express the grateful Feelings of their Hearts, and consecrate themselves to the Service of their Divine Benefactor; and that, together with their sincere Acknowledgments and Offerings, they may join the penitent Confession of their manifold Sins, whereby they had forfeited every Favor; and their humble and earnest Supplication that it may please GOD through the Merits of JESUS CHRIST, mercifully to forgive and blot them out of Remembrance; That it may please him graciously to afford his Blessing on the Governments of these States respectively, and prosper the public Council of the whole:

To inspire our Commanders, both by Land and Sea, and all under them, with that Wisdom and Fortitude which may render them fit Instruments, under the Providence of Almighty GOD, to secure for these United States, the greatest of all human Blessings, INDEPENDENCE and PEACE: That it may please him, to prosper the Trade and Manufactures of the People, and the Labor of the Husbandman, that our Land may yield its Increase: To take Schools and Seminaries of Education, so necessary for cultivating the Principles of true Liberty, Virtue and Piety, under his nurturing Hand; and to prosper the Means of Religion, for the promotion and enlargement of that Kingdom, which consisteth "in Righteousness, Peace and Joy in the Holy Ghost.

And it is further recommended, That servile Labor, and such Recreation, as, though at other Times innocent, may be unbecoming the Purpose of this Appointment, be omitted on so solemn an Occasion."

"Saying Grace" by Norman Rockwell

(By the way–if you ever have a chance to see a Norman Rockwell exhibit, go! A small grouping of his original paintings came through Billings a few years ago and WOW! Did we love seeing the actual artwork in person–as compared to “flat” reproductions in magazines or on shiny-stock posterboard. Real art has so much texture and depth! It is one of the many reasons that I am so grateful for the gifts and generosity of Samara’s husband, Taylor Lynde. His willingness to step out of galleries and put small pieces on an ebay store is why even as I type this, I am surrounded by oil paintings that are so beautiful and complex, I never tire of looking at them.)

Another topic I would LOVE to hear your thoughts on (counsel / observations / this is how we do it in our church / this drives me CRAZY) is this:

How do you decide whether you (and your children) are too sick to leave the house?

This is of particular relevance to me because, OF COURSE, we are sick AGAIN.

(Time for a TRIP, so time for the Barthels to be SICK. Ergh ergh ergh. Oops–I mean, “Content in all circumstances! Content in all circumstances! Trusting God’s sovereignty. Yes! This is not much suffering at all–no it’s NOT. Grateful grateful grateful.” God help me (He does!)–I really AM trying to have a good attitude.)

But it came on like it usually does. One of us (Fred) started feeling “stuffy”, more congestion over time, chesty cough, feeling weak–BAM. Down with a bad cold. One day later, Soph starts acting a little “off” and then it takes 15 Kleenex to blow her nose. ERGH. I’ve been trying to ward it off with Zicam (you know that when I use NOSE SWABS I am REALLY SERIOUS about NOT WANTING TO BE SICK!!!), vitamin-C, rest, lots of water. Yeah-right. I’m totally down for the count–chesty cough, fever, constant runny nose (can’t even grab a tissue fast enough kind of runny nose–don’t you just LOVE those??).

But that brings me back to YESTERDAY–when I was just starting to feel a little OFF, but I KNEW that Fred was fighting a bug in our home and that, in all likelihood, I WAS NEXT.

What do YOU do in that situation? I’ve been amazed at how ALL OVER THE MAP moms can be:

- Personally? I don’t think you should go out when you know you’re sick or you’re fairly certain you’re about to get sick. (Isn’t that when you’re the most contagious??) I think people should STAY HOME because if they did, we’d ALL be a lot LESS sick. So I canceled co-op (which made both Sophie and me CRY!) and we hunkered in to try to get well.

- But then I have a (godly! smart! wise!) friend whose mothering skills (and theology and love for Jesus) I admire SO MUCH who says, “If you can make it out, GO ON OUT. Don’t worry about it. Builds immunities. It’s good for kids to get sick.” (And her healthy, hearty children ARE to be admired, I must admit.)

- At the other end of the spectrum are the families who pretty much NEVER go ANYWHERE because they are SO committed to avoiding germs; they avoid all group activities, keep their kids out of C.E. classes, and will switch pew rows if someone starts hacking up a lung.

- Which bring me to the last category I can come up with ... the child who climbs onto your lap during prayer time and promptly hacks all over you and requires five Kleenex; the friends who cough and wipe their noses around you for weeks; the coworker who leaves a doctor’s office with his prescription for his chesty cough and says confidently, “I’m past the contagious stage now!”; the school teacher who has never missed a day of work in 35 years and faithfully hugs every child, even though today she has to cough and blow her nose throughout the classtime.

What do you do in these situations?

- Take one look at the sick teacher and/or the sick child and run in the opposite direction? (Doesn’t that feel SO RUDE?! Sounds wise in theory but in that MOMENT, how do you just say, “Oh. You’re sick. But you still want to teach my kid / have a playdate / whatever. Yeah. No. That’s SO not going to happen. Bye-bye.”)

- Once you’ve already been hacked on and sprayed with snot, say, “Well, I’m sure I’m exposed by now anyway. Might as well stay.”

- Become germaphobic and never leave the house? (Especially if you have a large family! Wouldn’t staying home mean that some of my friends would never get out all winter?!?)

- So aren’t the “don’t worry about it” folks right? If I ate enough broccoli, wouldn’t I STAY healthy no matter what? Aren’t I just being paranoid? Shouldn’t I be at co-op right now?

Because even sick, I COULD have made it through the morning. I had everything organized, printed out, Veterans Day stuff, EVERYTHING. But I just thought it would be SO MEAN to go and share my germs with all of those kids and their moms whom I love SO much! (But maybe it was unloving to “let them down” by not being there??!)

How do co-ops and Sunday school classes and WORKPLACES (Peacemakers is the WORST for this, by the way! Sick people are there every single day, so “the peacemaker crud” just sticks around ALL WINTER. It’s awful!) survive? What do you do?

Well, right now I’M going to go an start packing. Whenever I’m not packed the day before a trip, I usually have PACKING NIGHTMARES (plane leaving in ten minutes, haven’t started packing yet, can’t find SOCKS, etc. etc.) ... so I’d better get going.

Hope you’re not needing Zicam & Puffs Plus like the Barthels!

Snifflingly and gratefully,
Tara B.

Sophie’s been doing MUCH better (thanks again for praying) but this morning, as she was sitting on my lap at church, she had a quote that immediately ended our church service:

"Mom? Would it be OK if I threw up on your pretty church clothes?"

(Well, of course things would ultimately be “OK.” And you wouldn’t be in trouble. And I’d be way more concerned about YOU than clothing. But still ... even the risk of a child barfing in the front row of church is just not something we need to risk. So homeward we go.)

Hope they get Pastor Jason’s sermon online early tomorrow so I can hear the end!

Happy Sunday to you and yours–
Tara B.

Hey everyone! (All, you know, FIVE of you who might click onto this blog on a Saturday afternoon ...)

Fred is trying to teach me how to LIVE BLOG and we’re going to try it out RIGHT NOW. So if things seem goofy, please bear with us. Oh, and if you want to join in the fun (or whatever options the software gives you), please do!

OK. Here we go. About to try to live blog our lazy Saturday afternoon (with the hope of MAYBE live-blogging the CCEF Conference next week).

Happy Saturday!
- Tara B.

We’ve enjoyed a pretty good week lessons-wise, even during Sophie’s days of (residually painful) recovery. We find that a Golden and a video are good for such times:



And, yes, I even cooked some meals! Real meals. Ingredients & a recipe & the application of heat and everything. Hooray!

Here is our effort at a CrockPot 3-Packet Pot Roast:



('Twas a little spicy. I might halve the peppercorn packet next time and try again. Hey! Didn’t that just sound like an almost-functional adult woman who isn’t terrified of cooking? So cool! It really is true that every time I cook, I DO feel a little more confident/a little less scared.)

Sophie is “settling the West” on her map of the United States of America and I need to scoot to help Fred get out the door on time.

Hope your Friday is a blessed one! Thanks again for the prayers and encouragement.

Yours,
Tara B.

PS
Don’t forget to go back to those FREE BOOKS! posts and leave a comment by midnight. I’m looking forward to sending off your books tomorrow.

Hey! Don’t you think your church might want a women’s retreat on peacemaking or living the gospel in relationships or some other related topic?

I hear there’s a nice lady in ol' Montana who will fly to wherever you are (Australia? Europe? Topeka?) and serve for a weekend. You should check out the Speaking Page of her website and consider inviting her to be with you.

Seriously? Future bookings that are “far out” (after 2009) have begun to increase–I’m guessing in response to the release of the video series–but 2009 is so far a very quiet year. I sure would LOVE to get to meet some of you wonderful blog readers in REAL LIFE.

No set fee. (We’ve turned down inquiries because of travel time / time away from my family / scheduling problems, etc. But never because of money.)

Relevant topic. (Everyone has conflict, eh?)

Please do keep us in mind!

OK. Now I REALLY have to get this writing assignment done. Ergh!

Love ya bunches,
Tara B.

Good morning, everyone!

Just a quick note to parrot my friends Stacy and Amy by reminding us all that:

"God uses all history for His Story."

So no matter what our rejoicing or lamenting over election results, we can always rejoice in Him!

AND to remind you that I have two FREE BOOK giveaways ending Friday (Nov 7) at midnight:

Carolyn McCulley’s “Radical Womanhood: Feminine Faith in a Feminist World”

Ed Welch’s “Running Scared: Fear, Worry, and the God of Rest”

All you have to do is leave a comment (and make sure I have some way of reaching you) and if your name is selected, you’ll have a new book (or two!).

Out of 5,000+ regular readers of this blog, only a handful (10? 20?) have entered the drawings. (Gotta like THOSE odds!) And since I NEVER give your name or contact information to ANYONE (ever! I hate SPAM!)–what do you have to lose?

I have a number of blogs that I want to write for you–but my day may be a bit full again holding my love-bug (who cried for hours in the night, but did not actually throw up, so that’s a huge grace! but I’m a tired Momma). So we’ll see when I can make it back to the laptop.

Lilikoi spent her first night OUT OF HER KENNEL. It was great. She was such a comforting presence as we were up with Sophia.

Hope you all slept better than us and that this day and every day, you remember that:

"God uses all history for His Story."

Amen? Amen!

Love to you all,
Tara B.

THANKS for praying and for bearing with my concerned Momma blogging today.

We’re just back from the doctor’s and I’m very (very!) grateful that it seems like there is a reasonable explanation (irritation from when she had the flu last month, acid building up, 1-3AM is most acidic time/no food in belly) and all diagnostic tests point away from anything profoundly serious (thank God!).

So we’re going to do an anti-acid medicine (and stop acidic/citrus foods) for one month and see if it abates. Then we’ll take her off of the medicine and see if it returns. If it doesn’t, we’re in the clear. If it does, we’ll have to have another conversation.

How grateful I am for medical care! And how grateful I am that there isn’t an underlying, serious condition.

Must run because our small group meets in a few minutes–

Thanks again!

Yours,
Tara B.

Fred and I would really appreciate your prayers as we need wisdom re: a (painful & scary) medical problem that Sophie is currently facing.

Last Thursday night and again early this morning (3:30AM!), Sophie has been woken out of a deep sleep by acute abdominal pain. “Acute abdominal pain” sounds so, well, benign, so let me flesh it out for you ...

She screams and screams and SCREAMS while clutching her belly and doubling over. Her eyes are terrified. She literally starts begging God to please help her. And she keeps screaming. For ten minutes, then she vomits and falls back asleep. (Well, that’s what happened last week. Last night, she slept then awoke to vomit; slept and awoke to vomit, repeat cycle.)

The next morning? Perfectly happy, healthy child. No fever. No nausea. No bleary eyes. No “just wants to lie down and watch videos” (i.e., no flu). She’s eating normally; using the bathroom normally; full of energy and as active as always. Totally normal–well, except for this “screaming child in extreme agony and vomiting in the night” problem.

(!!)

It was so bad that last week I just about threw her into the car and drove to the e.r. And last night it was so bad that I almost called 9-1-1. Seriously. I just can’t find the words to describe how much pain she is in.

I spoke with a doctor twice in the night and we will leave soon to see a doctor today. Last week we saw our doctor’s nurse practitioner. The problem is that “acute abdominal pain” in a four-year old is just a very hard thing to diagnose if it doesn’t follow the normal gastroenteritis/flu pattern.

It’s going to end up being relatively benign (diet? something for the naturopath to help us with?) or something serious (surgical) ... and the diagnosis will be hard to come by.

Fred and I are supposed to leave for the CCEF conference in one week–but of course we could never leave her if this pattern continues. So I’m praying for wisdom for our doctor and for us re: tests/treatment; for healing (of course) for whatever is going on in her sweet little body; and for wisdom re: our trip and other responsibilities this week.

Thanks for even considering joining us in prayer!

Yours,
Tara B.

PS
One “plus” of being up since 3:35AM is that, since she did finally stop vomiting around 5:00, and she was sound asleep, Fred stayed home with her and Lili and I ran out to vote right at 7:00AM.

Our family has started to talk more in earnest about trying to adopt a brother or sister for Sophia–so we were particularly excited about the Together for Adoption conference being hosted by the same (wonderful!) church that recorded my video series (Hi Southside! Hi Lori! Hi Marilyn! Hi Joe! ).

We don’t know how the Lord will lead us ... but Sophie is lobbying pretty hard for a sibling. She just LOVES the babies! Here she is with her latest “daughter”:



(Lilikoi REALLY wanted to be in these pictures. She almost escaped between Fred’s legs ... )



Fred and I had a significant conversation this morning. (Nothing like a communion Sunday to prompt the hard work of REALLY working through conflicts and seeking genuine reconciliation, eh? How grateful I am that our pastors guard the table.)

And our church had an extended time of praise and prayer this evening–what a grace.

I hope your Sabbath was restful!

G'nite and God bless,
Tara B.

This past week has not been a good one for me re: sleep and tonight is continuing the pattern.

I think some of it is just me–my body has seasons where I just don’t sleep well. It’s annoying and exhausting, but what can you do?

(Yesterday I got up at 1AM and tackled a ten hour paid writing project that was due. It’s quite efficient to submit a paystub for ten hours by 11AM, but I don’t recommend it–especially when you still have to then live your entire day. It makes me wonder, though, why I’m not sleeping now. Do you think I’ve gone past the point of being able to sleep because I’m TOO tired?? Hmmmm ... I actually think that another factor is ...)

In addition to physical elements, tonight’s sleeplessness had an additional element of conviction to it because right before we went to sleep, Fred asked me a pointed question that I answered, but then felt sure that actually there was more to my answer that needed to be said. But it was late and he was exhausted–so I tried to lie very still so he could fall asleep and then I got up and hours later, here I sit.

I’m grateful for prayer. I’m grateful for journaling. I’m reading CCEF articles and Scripture and striving to lay hold of “a moment of sanity” (as Pastor Jason says) re: the thoughts and feelings crashing around inside of me.

But wow–life is complicated, isn’t it? Our physical bodies, external influences, relationships, temptations, unbelief, and (oh, yeah!) growth in grace and godliness. We are truly a mixed bag.

I think I’m going to try to lie down again now and see if I can sleep. I hope that you are all resting away (except for you, Anne, because it’s only dinnertime in Hawaii, right?)

Blessings–
Tara B.

Just a little FYI to let you know that I deleted my friend’s sermon summary. I thought that it might attract some critical comments and emails from anonymous internet strangers–and it did.

Simply said–for reasons that I am not going to go into right now, I just do not have the strength to even scan and delete such presumptively uncharitable communications from people who don’t even know me. So I deleted it.

On a positive note, I was able to tackle, oh, say, a zillion loads of laundry today and Sophie and I just enjoyed one of those wonderful, crisp Autumn air coming in through the widow, clean sheet day, cuddle-bug naps. And this morning? Her first words to me as she came down the stairs were:

"I just love the sounds of morning! The airplanes taking off and landing ..." [Editorial note: I don’t think I can even hear planes taking off and landing when I’m in our home!] “ ... the cars coming and going. Isn’t it just great, Mom?”

"We are so blessed!" I said in response.

What a sweet child. Daily, I am keenly aware of what a blessed woman I am.

Hope your Wednesday is more like the sweet parts of my day than the challenging ones.

Yours,
Tara B.

... and watch this video.

Together for the gospel.
Together for adoption.
Amen!

(And thanks, TakeYourVitaminZ for the great link.)

Take Your Vitamin Z just posted a couple of brief videos by John Piper that I think you might enjoy:

John Piper on Blogging

Another must-read over at Carolyn McCulley’s fantastic blog:

Jesus, Devotions, and the Local Church

THANKS for all of the great ideas, ladies! I’ve already ordered some of the books you’ve mentioned.

Here is what I wrote in my email response, just in case you were curious:

1. Go through The Peacemaker and/or The Peacemaker Group Study—it is foundational for both marriage AND parenting. And life-changing. And helpful! And gospel-proclaiming.

2. Go through The Young Peacemaker. Sure, it’s for kids—but you can’t lead them where you don’t first go yourself. I’ve had many adults tell me that they’re own personal study of it was profound for THEM and then they introduced it to their kids.

3. I’ve been a huge fan of “Shepherding a Child’s Heart” since even before I was married! If you haven’t gone through it yet, please do! It is foundational for parenting. Every day, our home is helped by the principles we learned in that book.

4. I like “When Sinners Say I Do” (Harvey) for a book specific to marriage.

5. Bryan Chapell’s “Each for the Other” has been a blessing to many.

Thanks again for serving our sister in Christ! I love learning with you all.

Oh–and thanks for the sweet/encouraging personal notes too. PLEASE know that we’re really doing OK around here! It’s SO nice to not be sick and we’re just having a nice, quiet, domestic kind of week.

Last week, Lili acquired a BAD ear infection (did I tell you that?)–so I was VERY happy this morning when the vet said that she’s A-OK. What a sweet little furry muffin.

Fred’s getting back into a workout routine, so that’s great. But I haven’t quite gotten back into any sort of exercise routine. Earlier this week, Fred was downstairs on the elliptical trainer while I was upstairs eating a brownie. Nice. It’s really no wonder why my pants are snug. Again.

Any day now. That’s what I’m telling myself. Any day now–back to water & walks & healthful living. Or at least a STEP in that good/healthful/disciplined direction. Any day now. Hmmmmm ....

Hope you have a great Thursday!

Yours,
Tara B.

Have you been to Glacier National Park lately?

Wish you could have a “souvenir” beyond the made-in-China BLECH in every tourist spot?

Check out Taylor Lynde’s ORIGINAL fine art:



Rock hopping the Outlet, Upper Kintla by Taylor Lynde

Thousands of dollars in galleries–
pennies on the dollar through the wonder of ebay.

Thanks, Taylor, for reminding us of the glory of God!

Your sis,
Tara B.

I received this question via email and wanted to throw it out to you all for your counsel and suggestions:

"I was wondering if you have any suggestions for good, Christ-centered, books regarding parenting or marriage for my small group. (We all have kids under four years old). Discussion questions would be helpful."

So what would you guys recommend?

Thanks for sharing your counsel–

Love,
Tara B.

(Drum Roll Please!)

And HERE is my 100th FB friend ...



Isn’t she just too cute? And wise too. You should check out her blog:

HalfPintHouse

Thanks, Megan!

Love,
t

I’ve had a bunch of events back-to-back, so this blog post is slightly delayed (and a combination of more than one event) ...

But three of you wrote me notes and I’ve been meaning to follow up with you. Since I don’t have your contact information, this blog is the only way I know to reach you. If you’d like to dialogue further, please do not hesitate to contact me.

- “S.H.” who has a daughter in Montana: Of course I would be blessed to get to meet her! Please do encourage her to visit this blog and drop me a note if she even comes through Billings.

- To the young girl who I’m fairly certain is being abused: I had only slight inklings that you were being abused when I met you. (I wish I had known!) After reading your note on my flight home, however, I am fairly certain that your home situation is not safe. PLEASE GET HELP. Go to your church leaders. If they do not intervene to keep you and your siblings from physical harm, then dial 9-1-1. PLEASE. Fred and I are praying for you and very concerned. (I’ve also raised my concerns with my event host/contact for your event and urged her to get help for you and I’ve brought my concerns to my husband and pastors.) If I can help you, please contact me.

- To the woman whose husband, a church leader, is daily using pornography: PLEASE GET HELP. It is neither “submissive” nor “loving” to facilitate your husband’s sin. He needs rescue and you need help! Please, get the church and denomination leaders involved. Love him enough to help him! I know it’s scary–but it is necessary. If you need to talk to a church leader about this, my pastor and elder are available. Please just contact me and I’ll get you in touch with them.

OK. I think I’ve done all I can to reach out to you precious women! (Please, anyone, let me know if you think there is something else I should do based on what you’ve read above.)

I will continue to pray for you!

With love,
Tara B.

My review of Carolyn McCulley’s book, Radical Womanhood: Feminine Faith in a Feminist World, was finally posted at Amazon.



I’ll copy it below and encourage you to read and recommend this book broadly. It’s a keeper.

(Thanks, Carolyn, for your ministry!)

And thanks to all of you who have written me such encouraging emails and blog comments! I must admit, today has been a hard day to be Momma Tara. A bloody ear on the Golden (poor Lilikoi!) and excruciating pain for the lovie-bug daughter (poor Sophie!) have necessitated emergency trips to dog doctors and people doctors and, well, lots of stress for the Momma who is seeking to both care for and comfort her two little loves.

How grateful I am for prayer! And for the confidence in knowing that God hears my prayers and cares.

I think we’re turning the corner. Hope so!

And I hope your week is off to a great start–

Yours in the battle,
Tara B.

MY REVIEW OF “RADICAL WOMANHOOD” ON AMAZON.COM

As a faithful reader of Carolyn McCulley’s (excellent!) blog, RadicalWomanhood, I had high expectations for this book. Carolyn met them all with ease.

- Her research (and citations) demonstrate her commitment to journalistic integrity and her years of experience as a writer and editor. It was refreshing and informative to read actual historical information and logical, persuasive arguments. I learned much–especially about the lives of feminist leaders, how feminist ideals have impacted the evangelical church, and how our current “raunch culture” developed over the last twenty years.

- Carolyn writes from a position of humility–and this is particularly important because this topic is so prone to bring out the worst in harsh rhetoric and personal, graceless attacks. But not with Carolyn McCulley. Even though she obviously feels strongly about this topic, she is unfailingly winsome in her presentation of all sides of the arguments.

- The Gospel of Jesus Christ is clearly proclaimed and lived out in the pages of this book. Carolyn clearly explains and illustrates how the root of all of our destructive behavior lies in our hearts–we are sinners. And then she repeatedly points to the One Who can rescue us from ourselves. No surface-level explanations and works-based “solutions”–just a consistent call to remember The Cross; to remember the Gospel–the indicative (Who God is and all that He has already done for us in Christ).

I would not hesitate to recommend this book to anyone seeking to learn more about the topics of feminism (especially its impact on the Christian church), biblical manhood and womanhood, complementarianism, and “the mommy wars.”

Well done, Carolyn McCulley!

Soph woke up whimpering and HOT. Her 104.2 fever guaranteed that I would not be going to church because I was needed at home.

Poor love. I used to get horribly high fevers as a young child. I have vivid, terrifying memories of being plunged into ice water in hospitals ... so HOT, yet SHIVERING with cold. I am praying that Sophie will not have to experience those treatments–but I know that if she does, then the good far outweighs the bad and God will give her the grace to endure it.

It’s just so hard to see my love-bug so weak, tired, and fevered. I must admit that I am SO SICK of us being sick. What I REALLY want to do is keep Fred and Sophie COMPLETELY HOME for at least an entire week. Have no one over and go NO WHERE and see if we can just sleep, drink lots of fluids, and GET WELL. But I don’t think that Fred’s responsibilities will allow it.

Anyway – happy Sunday to you! We’ve been talking a lot about baptism and the Lord’s supper (because those are the questions that Sophie is on now in her Catechism work). How grateful I am that God sets us apart and nourishes us with His sacraments.

Yours,
Tara B.

As I prepare to leave Canada and re-enter the USA, I am thrilled to point you to my favorite Canadian blogger, Tim Challies, and encourage you to read his posts, watch the videos that he links to, and just enjoy his coverage of the True Woman Conference going on right now in Chicago.

6,000 Christian women who are excited about rigorously biblical, Christ-centered, Gospel-proclaiming theology? Who love being WOMEN and who are excited about the biblical roles that God has given them? Who have a high view of Christ and His Bride–such that, they are eager to serve both?

I love it! And I am so grateful for the ministry of True Woman.

Hope you enjoy!

Blessings,
Tara B.

Samara’s husband, TJ Lynde, just listed on Ebay an amazing painting from his recent trip to Glacier National Park:



Morning at St Mary’s Lake, Glacier

(If only I could capture just how stunning his art is in person. A little photo just does NOT do it justice. It’s like trying capture Tchaikovsky on a $.99 plastic synthesizer.)

Thanks for making the world a more beautiful place, Taylor! We love ya' and miss you guys terribly.

G'nite all!
– Tara B.

If you chatted with me about Crisis Pregnancy Centers at the Peacemaker Conference last week, would you please drop me a quick note if you’d be open to a further conversation?

Thanks so much!
– Tara B.

Our flight from Orlando to MSP was uneventful and we’re heading to our flight to Billings right now. We’re psyched to get to give Lilikoi some cuddles in a few hours! We missed her and wished that spastic hyper Golden puppies could go to Disney. Hah. Wonder why they’re not allowed.

Thanks so much for the emails and blog comments encouraging me re: the criticism I received yesterday. I think it’s going to be taking quite a bit of our family’s time and emotional energy in the next few weeks–and since I am flying to California on Thursday and Canada on the following Wednesday, this could be a rough little stretch. So thanks in advance for your continued prayers.

We’re off to gate G12!

Sending our love–
Tara B. (& Fred & Sophia)

Today I learned of a prayer request from someone who is that new category in my life of, “haven’t had any contact with that person in 20 years but now we sort of overlap on Facebook” and I would appreciate it if you would please pray for him (Mark) and his family. Here is his request:

"My stepson has a mental illness called schizo effective disorder. Late Saturday night while Kim and I were sleeping he took an overdose of Tylenol. We did not find out until it was too late. The enzyme levels in his liver are dangerously high. He may require a transplant if they cannot stop the damage."

I have his permission–actually his urging–to post this and to ask you to pray.

Thank you!

Yours,
Tara B.

If you enjoy Trudy’s Poirier’s music and, in particular, you’ve enjoyed the SONGS included in the original version of my DVD series, then do I have a deal for you!

Trudy has given me special permission to offer you her “Songs of Living the Gospel in Relationships” CD for only $5 (including shipping!).

**PLEASE NOTE: To take advantage of this great deal, please do NOT order from me. Instead, drop Sarah Phillips a note at magisterfour “at” msn.com and she’ll coordinate with you on how to pay via PayPal or mail her a check.

Hope this is a blessing to you! Potential stocking stuffer ideas?

Much love,
Tara B.

Fred and I were just informed that our mortgage holder had a security breach and some of our personal information was stolen.

(!!)

So after lessons, a quick trip to the post office (I did SO want to take Sophie to the park for some fresh air–but I just couldn’t stay upright that long! Ergh!), and a quick start on a 300 piece puzzle while listening to Peter and the Wolf (Soph is a master puzzler!), I started doing some consumer research as to how best to respond.

Initially, I looked into various “we’ll protect your identity” companies, but after reading the fine print, I think they’re a waste of money. I already do pretty much everything they have listed as “services.”

The one new thing I learned about, though, is a CREDIT FREEZE. I think it’s the way to go, but I’d love to hear your counsel.

Have any of you had your personal information stolen?

Do you have an opinion on credit freezes?

Thanks for any counsel you care to share! We were shocked when we got the letter from our mortgage company. I have to say, I would think twice before financing anything with them again in the future.

OK. Back to bed. I’m actually feeling better (hooray!) but still very tired.

Happy Friday!

Yours,
Tara B.

So ... can you tell I’m sick when I have no blog posts?

Sorry about this week. My arms feel like 200 lb weights and every time I’ve tried to post something my brain was blank. I’ve just had nothing to say! (Very weird for me, eh??)

I’m SO hoping that I’ll turn a corner today and be able to go to the Crisis Pregnancy Center fundraising dinner tonight. Alfred and Trudy Poirier (our pastor and his wife) have invited all of the deacons to attend with them and Fred is presenting a check and receiving some sort of award on behalf of our church. I don’t want to miss it!

But I also REALLY REALLY hate it when sick people go out in public (or send their KIDS to group things!) and then infect everyone around them. So even if I get a wave of energy and can will myself to go tonight, I really doubt that I will go. It just seems so selfish to me to go and spread germs like that when some virus or bacteria is obviously having a good ol' time inside of me. (And there is, apparently, a wave of pneumonia washing over Billings right now.)

Anyway–

Much to rejoice in! It’s actually been a lovely week in many regards.

Hope you’re doing well!

Blessings,
Tara B.

Sorry for the FREAKING OUT BLOG.

Fred and my web host are installing new software and apparently the process requires everything to FREAK OUT temporarily.

We hope to have it fixed soon.

Blessings,
Tara B.

PS
Sophie just made my entire day. I asked her what her favorite part of today was. (I assumed it would be gymnastics or violin or a new dollar store little pony.) And she said, “Being with you.”

Yeah. How could I ever complain about anything? I am such a blessed woman.

Just a super quick note to let you know that we DID complete the videos yesterday and it was ALL by grace alone. (Ken and I were simply EXHAUSTED!! But he was SO FUNNY and passionate and sincere. And I did my best to, you know, sound reasonably coherent.)

At least they are done and that’s one less thing to think about.

AND we made it safely to Chicago tonight and so far, the family visit has gone OK (thank God!).

But Fred and I have been up since 4AM and we really need to crash now.

Hope your week wraps up well! Thanks in advance for your patience as I will be hard to reach via email and blog comment for the next few days. Greased-pig-chasing scrambles, parades, and family adventures are a callin'.

G'nite and God bless!

Love,
Tara B.

I love to check in with the fine art that Taylor Lynde is (so generously!) offering on his ebay site. It gives me a little picture into what art trips he has been taking lately and what their family has been doing.

(Taylor is my best friend, Samara’s, husband and proud papa of Scout and William.)



Here are a couple of current listings that are still well under $100 (!!):





In art galleries, his larger prints sell for thousands! But he also makes art available to the rest of us ( ) with some placements on ebay:

Taylor Lynde Art Listing on Ebay

I recently purchased a print for a friend (she should receive it soon! it’s a total surprise to her!) and I think I’m more excited about that than just about anything these days.

Anyway ... I wanted to remind you of his site AND remind you that he does do incredible commissions too. So if you have photos from a family vacation this summer that you would LOVE to have an original artwork of, drop him a note and see if he has time in his schedule! These photos just don’t do the art justice. You have to seem them in real life to see the depth of their beauty.

I’m off to walk Lilikoi now!

Hope you have a great Thursday.

Yours,
Tara B.

PS
This is the most recent TJ Lynde treasure that our family has acquired:



What a gift! I can’t even imagine what it must be like to be able to create something so beautiful.

To God be the glory!

(I just received this email from Peacemakers and wanted to be sure to let you know. Please come and live in beautiful Montana with all of us peacemaking folk! )

Director of Team and Network Support

Peacemaker Ministries is an international ministry based in Billings, Montana that exists to assist and equip Christians and their churches to respond to conflict biblically. We are a team of forty staff with a network of 150 Certified Conciliators working together to encourage a culture of peace in churches around the world.

We are currently seeking an individual to join the Peacemaker staff as our Director of Team and Network Support. This individual will develop, promote, and strengthen relationships with church-based reconciliation ministry teams and team networks. This will include oversight of activities and communication that will lead to team and network formation and support.

The ideal candidate must demonstrate strong communication and administrative skills. Applicants must be able to work in concert with others to achieve common goals. A minimum of 3 years of experience as a church staff or lay leader is required. Applicants must be familiar with Peacemaker Ministries’ Certification Program and be prepared to complete the Certification training within 12 months of hiring. A BA or BS degree is required for this position. The ideal candidate will demonstrate strong writing, computer, and management skills.

The Director of Team and Network Support must have a broad understanding of biblical themes and biblical systematic theology as well as in-depth knowledge and experience in the application of biblical peacemaking principles to life experiences and their relationship with secular worldviews.

This is a full-time position with a generous benefits package, including:

- Starting salary of $48,000 per year
- 100% of health insurance premiums paid for employee and dependants
- Matching 401(k) program
- Long-term disability and life insurance policies
- Paid vacation and sick leave

Applicants must be able to endorse biblical peacemaking by affirming Peacemaker Ministries Statement of Faith and be a member in good standing of a Christian church. For more information about this position, please visit our website at www.Peacemaker.net or contact Jonathan Boll, Operations Director, at jboll@peacemaker.net or by phone at 406-256-1583 ext. 114.

Applications for this position will be received until June 30, 2008.

Do you remember how I recently blogged about a People Magazine article on some Peacemaker Ministries staff members?

Well ... cutie-bear Fred Barthel just posted on the same article over at the Peacemaker Ministries blog and he (being oh so technologically ahead of me!) also included a PHOTO.

It is such a lovely photo of the Friesens and it really captures the beauty of God ... so I updated my own blog post, but I also just wanted to share it with you here ...



Sweet! What a lovely reminder of the lavish provision of God.

Step onto an airplane an orphan. Leave with a family. Grace grace grace.

This morning, after our Bible reading from Lamentations, the attribute of God that Sophie prayed back to God (we always start our prayers by thanking God for being God–thanking God for His attributes ... the things that make God, God) was this:

"Thank You, God, that your mercy never comes to an end."

Amen & amen!
(And preach it, Sophie!)

Great is God’s faithfulness!

(Really. Now. Back to work, Tara!!)

Yours,
Tara B.

I just received an email from Northwest Airlines with a screamin' deal for those of you planning to attend the Peacemaker Conference in Orlando, Florida this September. (This is particularly true if you were planning to bring your kids anyway!)

- Kids fly free!
- Great deals on car rentals!
- Extra days on your Disney Pass!
- The ACTUAL Peacemaker Conference hotel (Caribe Royale Suites) IS one of the “deal” hotels!
- The dates are PERFECT! (The deal goes through September 30)

You have to book within the next THREE DAYS (by June 6) so don’t delay.

Hope this is a blessing to you and hope to see you at "The Power of a Peacemaking Church"!

Another stunning painting by Samara’s husband, Taylor Lynde is available for purchase:



Alpine Shallows–Edith Lake

I can’t believe he allows a certain number of his paintings to go each month via online auctions rather than in galleries! But he truly wants everyone to be blessed by great art.

Now do you see why I check his offerings all the time? I’m so edified just by seeing what he is painting. What an amazing gift!

Hope you enjoy and that your Tuesday is going well. Every single room of my home is absolutely CHAOTIC, so I’m going to (try to!) slowly bring some order as I prep dinner.

With love,
Tara B.

First flight of the day was uneventful. ("Uneventful" is truly my goal in air travel. Anything above that is just GRAVY as far as I’m concerned.)

And I’m about to board my flight for Billings! So, Lord willing, I’ll be hanging with Sophia, Fred, and Lilikoi in a couple of hours. I’m so happy to get a Sunday afternoon with them! Hooray!

Thanks again, DELAWARE (not Maryland! ) for a great weekend. It was a true joy to be with you all.

With love from the MSP WorldClub,
Tara B.

PS
A few pics to give you a little smile ...

Sophie meets a friend ...



And plays “pregnant mommies” with her bud, Emma ...

Someone left a comment today on a really old blog I did about donating my extra Bibles to Christian Resources International.

(For years I had felt guilty having so many Bibles when I knew that Christians–and especially PASTORS–around the world didn’t have any Bibles. But I didn’t know where to send them. Then I found CRI and boxed 'em up and sent them off with some old sermon tapes and other Christian resources.)

Anyway ... this commenter this morning asked if I knew any similar organizations (or organisations for my British friends) in the U.K. and I just wanted to say that I don’t. Sorry! But maybe CRI can help you if you contact them through their website.

They are fine people doing a good work. I encourage you all to look around your basements and if you see DUST on a Bible, box it up and send it off. Christians around the world would (literally) walk MILES for something that your family apparently doesn’t even move more or less look at/study/memorize. Please do consider it.

OK. Back to marble elevator play! Very fun. I should put a picture up for you guys one of these days ...

Love and blessings,
Tara B.

So, hypothetically, if you could design a “women’s track” for the Peacemaker Conference, what four or five topics would you ABSOLUTELY include?

Just brainstorming here ...

I fell asleep for a few hours but was up at 2AM.

My mind was processing all of this DVD series stuff and I knew better than to try to go back to sleep until I just dealt with it.

It’s funny to me how I just do NOT do well at, say, 10PM when I need to tackle a big project ... but I’ll pull a 2-5AM shift no problem. What a weird little brain I have.

ANYWAY ... it’s good to have my part done and out to my advisors for their review. Peacemakers has a bit of a time-crunch on this project because they are trying to get a Resource Catalog done, so we have to figure this stuff out quickly.

I think we’re all on pretty much the same page with similar ministry goals, so I’m fairly certain it’ll all work out.

This week has had a lot of STRESS for me, though.

- I’ve been feeling the weight of our educational thoughts / goals / convictions for Sophia for next fall ... so there have been some truly WONDERFUL but “heavy” (important!) conversations with friends who I trust and admire and with Fred this week. It has been SO WONDERFUL to receive counsel from wise people and I feel happy and hopeful about it all. But it’s been a stressor.

- The potential “Peacemakers picking up the DVD series” project (and all that entails) has been great ... but intense, too.

- After a sweet season of discipline re: food, exercise, spiritual disciplines, etc., I’ve been in a bit of a RUT. Again. But Fred and my pastor just CONTINUE to preach Christ to me. Oh! How grateful I am that they do not slam me with the hammer of the law OR condemn me for my continual struggles. There are definitely some people in my life who communicate disdain and judgment to me re: these issues. But then I remember Pastor Jason’s call to put their struggle in the context of MY struggle and thus, how could I condemn THEM for their condemnation of ME? 'Twould never work. Then I’d be just as graceless and ICK! I don’t want to do that.

I even had a night terror (or demonic attack or something–but I’m assuming it was just a night terror).

I think that these “really REALLY bad dreams” do not happen often in adults, and I am blessed to report that I think I’ve only had a few in the last twenty years or so. (I used to have them quite often as a child. Brrrrrrr! I still remember some of them from literally 30 and 35 years ago! Shiverrrrrr!)

But Tuesday night, only minutes after we rolled over to go to sleep, I had the horribly terrifying sense of being crushed/pushed down; I couldn’t move; I couldn’t speak. It took ALL of my effort to rouse a desperate croak of “help me!” to which dear Fred responded by putting his hand on me and praying for me. (I didn’t remember the prayer–he told me about that a couple of days later–but I remember the weight of his hand because that is what finally “broke me out of it.”)

- Complexities in our hearts/souls (we do live in a spiritual world and our enemies are real ... satan, the world, our own Old Man/sin nature).

- Brains that process & process & process.

- Stressors of life (even “good stress”).

I’m glad that I don’t freak Fred out. He just prays, comforts, and goes to sleep. Nice guy. Sleeping now (of course). I think I might try to join him for a little 5-6AM nap.

Enjoy your Friday!

Yours,
Tara B.

Well ... THAT wasn’t the easiest trip I’ve ever done!

Snowfall in Minneapolis delayed my flight for almost four hours, so it was almost 3AM when we finally reached Atlanta.

THEN, the ENTIRE train system in the Atlanta airport was OUT OF ORDER. So we had to walk–LITERALLY A MILE–through an airless, hot basement tunnel to reach the end of the terminal.

THEN, I get to my hotel only to be told that I’ll have to wait “at least 15 minutes and maybe longer” because their computers are “out” because they are running some report or something.

So ... it’s after 3:00 in the morning, I am just now getting to my hotel room, and I am looking at a LOOOOOONG day today (Friday) and tomorrow (Saturday) and no guarantee I’ll make it home Saturday night. (It looks especially tenuous given this snow in the Midwest.)

But honestly? I’m doing OK. Tired. Hot & sweaty (walking a mile pulling my bags was FOR SURE the most activity I’ve had since we got the flu almost three weeks ago).

But safe. In a clean, cool hotel room drinking clean, cool water.

Fred walked me (via Bluetooth & Verizon!) off the plane and through the entire MILE of tunnel and rode with me in the cab and waited until I was safely ensconced in my room before heading to bed himself. (What a guy!)

And now, if I can rouse myself in the morning (I’ll set two alarms for sure!), I have the GREAT privilege of serving these precious women in Atlanta. What a gift! What an honor!

So ... off to sleep if I can tell my brain “shhhhhhhh” and actually wind down for even a few hours of shut-eye.

Grace to you, dear ones!

Your travelin' pal,
Tara B.

Oh my!

Have you ever been guilty of these GOSPEL COUNTERFEITS?!

Oh oh oh–I am running to the Cross.

(And heading home in my first of three airports for the day! THANK YOU for your prayers and encouraging emails. I believe (and hope!) that I served these dear, DEAR, women in Maryland well. I did my best! That’s all we can do, right?)

Grace to you!

Yours,
Tara B.

Just a note to let you know that I am safe and sound on the east coast. I flew into Pennsylvania, and I’m currently in a hotel in, I think, New Jersey, and tomorrow we’ll go to a retreat center in ... hmmmm ... (had to go and look it up!) ... Maryland.

Fever was lower this morning at 4AM when I started my trek from Montana, so here’s hoping that I can serve, teach, and love these dear women well.

I probably won’t have internet access again until Sunday night–but if I can, I’ll try to catch up on some blogging.

THANKS for the cards & emails & kind words. I appreciate your patience and hope to be back to “normal” (hah!) soon.

With love,
Tara B.

I truly marvel at how differently Fred and I sleep.

Take this morning. 3:30AM, Soph comes into our room after having a vivid dream.

I tuck her into bed between us, comfort her, give her kisses, and she is fast asleep.

I think Fred stirred a bit–but he’s snoozing away in moments.

Me? WIDE AWAKE. Congested, achy, slightly damp from the cycle of my fevers ... but wide awake in that exhausted middle of the night way.

So now I’m downstairs reading and hoping I’ll get sleepy again soon.

Sophie was so cute coming home from the missions night. They had “made maracas” (from soda cans & beans), her pockets were full of Mexican coinage and candy (apparently from the pinata), she had made a Mexican flag ... and mostly, she had just had a wonderful night with people we love.

I hope you’re all sleeping soundly and happily! (Except you, Anne, because it’s not night-time in Hawaii, is it?? Well ... even if not, I’m hoping you’re getting to take a NAP! )

Yours,
Tara B.

Our dear friend just swung by with her three children to pick Sophie up for our church’s Missions Weekend Friday night fun.

I think that there will be tortillas and pinatas–and I know that everyone will get to visit with two of our favorite people in the world. C&A are missionaries to Mexico and we respect and cherish them SO much. I can’t believe that we don’t even get to say hello–but it’s my understanding that if you have a 102-degree fever, you’re contagious, right? So home we stay. Miserable, uncomfortable, and home.

Two things I wanted to post on quickly before I head back to bed:

1. These missionaries are the first missionaries where, as a family, we have made a “commitment for life.” Meaning ... unless something dramatically changes in our lives, and even to the point of having to do without as a family, we are committed to financially supporting them wherever the Lord takes them for life.

We had never even considered such a commitment before, but then my “spiritual father” (Captain Dave) made some passing comment to me last fall about missionaries that he and his bride had supported for some 30+ years and how they would support them until they (the missionaries) died “because that’s the commitment you make when you support a missionary.” I brought this up to Fred, we prayed about it, and then we made the same commitment.

Now we are praying more faithfully, Sophie is very connected to not only these missionaries but all of the ministries happening in Mexico (and other countries where we support missionaries), and we are just so grateful to God for laying that on our hearts.

2. I just wanted to mention how, in my pity-pot-party mood, when I’m sitting there so sad “because I don’t have any friends,” God has my friend (who works EXTREMELY hard taking care of her OWN three young children) call me up and offer to take Soph to the missionary night tonight (because we’ve been looking forward to it SO much). Such a friend.

ANYWAY–sorry to not be a more productive blogger this week. I honestly haven’t been much of a productive human being–and certainly no measure of a wife or mother.

I hope to feel better soon and serve you better soon too!

Travel kicks back in next Thursday–so I usually have time to think and study and write when I’m on the road.

Blessed Friday night to you!

Yours,
Tara B.

It might be hard to believe, but I’m getting worse health-wise.

My working hypothesis is that when my immune system was down, I actually acquired FRED’s flu ... so rather than getting better, I’m just on the down-tick of another virus. Blech.

But all that aside ... I DID make Fred laugh today, so that makes me happy.

I brought in the mail and told him, “Great news! The Smiths wrote us!”

The “Smiths” (not their real name) are these missionaries who, apparently, in 1989 (when Fred was NINETEEN) visited an Intervarsity meeting and Fred checked some sort of “stay in touch” box and now, for almost TWENTY YEARS they have written him support letters.

Fred has never supported them financially and they have never been in his “pray for missionaries” rotation.

When I came on the scene in 1993, I encouraged him to write them and explain that he is not going to support them and request that they please remove him from their mailing list. But we continue to get the letters.

I’ve written them with the same “please don’t waste Kingdom resources writing us” appeal–but we still get their letters.

Now, I am no missionary expert! But I do have a teeny-tiny-sliver of MBA/business brain cells left and I just don’t know why they continue to send these letters to us. I wish they would do a little return-on-investment analysis and say, “Hey, we should stop writing these folks.”

But even if they don’t, at least I got to make my husband chuckle.

Hope your Thursday is going well!

I’ve been reading Noel Piper’s Faithful Women and Their Extraordinary God, so that’s been quite inspirational.

Back to bed–

Yours,
Tara B.

Hey, husbands! Wanna bless your wife with the BESTEST Mother’s Day / birthday / ANY day gift EVER??

Or women too? Wanna capture a special memory or bless someone you really really love?

I just got off the phone with my bestest bud Samara and guess what I found out? TJ has TIME this month to do a few CUSTOM COMMISSIONS!

This is a big deal because it’s been a few years since he’s really had time to devote to a lot of commissions because (thankfully!) he’s been so busy with gallery and online sales.

SO ... grab a favorite photograph of a home, landscape, animal, or person and contact Taylor today for a quote:

Taylor Lynde Gallery

You’ll never regret it.

We cherish every single Taylor Lynde painting that we own and we have given them as gifts to many of our favorite people in the world.

Let me show you just three of my favorites ...



(In this one, Sophie is cuddling with my childhood teddy bear (a gift from my paternal grandmother when I was a child), our engagement photo is on the table, and her favorite blankie is on the chair too.)



(This one is from when Sophie started violin lessons at age two and a half. Her itty bitty violin was SO sweet! I posed it next to my mother’s family clock and our family photos are on the wall.)



(This one wasn’t actually a commission, but it was painted from a photo taken during our first Easter trip to visit the Lyndes in Helena and I LOVED how Sophie was in the background (in the little white t-shirt). Plus, it’s just such a happy memory.)

Please let me know if you end up with a painting so that I can celebrate with you!

Love and blessings,
Tara B.

Sweet quotes from Sophia Grace today:

- (After she came over and gave me a kiss on the cheek and I asked her why she kissed me.) “I kissed you to encourage you, Momma.”

- (After I apologized for being such a grump today.) “It’s OK, Momma. I love you even when you’re grumpy just like God loves me even when I’m grumpy.”

- (After Fred encouraged me all day long to rest and not worry about the chaos/piles/laundry AND after he worked a LONG time making us all dinner even though he and I had absolutely NO appetite.) “Momma? Why does daddy nap all day but you don’t even though you are both sick? Shouldn’t you be resting too?”

(That last one totally cracked me up.)

And just a TINY bit of clarification on a MISQUOTE just in case any of you read the magazine article on peacemaking that mentioned me:

In my LIFE I have never said that peacemaking is fun. Never. Well, other than to say, “I will NEVER stand before you and tell you that peacemaking is fun.” I guess in the context of that ENTIRE sentence, I’ve said it. But seriously? Other than that, I’ve never even thought the thought (more or less made the statement) that peacemaking is fun.

I mean, really! Give me a break. Peacemaking is often hard, painful, distressing, full of dying to self, horribly frightening (to have to actually TRUST GOD and LIVE BY FAITH), time-consuming, annoying, difficult, messy AND downright unpleasant.

Yes, yes, it’s worth it. Reconciliation is SWEET and true friendship is a glimmer of Heaven. But “fun” is just not a word I would use to describe peacemaking.

Yes, it is an HONOR and JOY to serve as a mediator even amongst the most conflicted and despairing of people. It is a privilege to be present as God is working in the lives of His people. But living in relationship with people is hard and working through conflicts is extremely hard.

(Oh! There are so many more things I want to clarify/fix/explain what I ACTUALLY said/better represent the Lord, the ministry of peacemaking, women in general re: that article! But Fred says, “Let it go, Tara. Let it go.” And so I shall.)

Last load of laundry is in the dryer. I can actually see the floor in the living room. If I have the energy tomorrow, I’m going to tackle the chaos of my office (eek!) and the schoolroom (double eek!).

Fever is down to 101.5! Any day now, I should feel better, right?

THANKS for the kind emails and blog comments too.

Encourage: To pour courage into the heart of another.

Thanks for encouraging me today.

G'nite and God bless!

Love,
Tara B.

PS
Wanna know when I actually started to feel a TEENY bit better today? It was when I was reading the Westminster Confession. HOW WEIRD AM I??? But it was just so encouraging and edifying (AND orderly too–just like Civ Pro in law school ... linear, organized, footnoted. It makes sense. It’s logical. For a few minutes, I could wrap my mind around something and be comforted by the truths (The Truth) to which it points me.)

Plus, Sophie and I read our Psalm and after a little discussion, she prayed back one of God’s attributes as revealed in the Psalm we read. ("Thank You, God, that you hear us when we pray to you every day.")

"Come and listen, all you who fear God; let me tell you what he has done for me. I cried out to him with my mouth; his praise was on my tongue. If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened; but God has surely listened and heard my voice in prayer. Praise be to God, who has not rejected my prayer or withheld his love from me!" Psalm 66:16-20

I still think I’m WEIRD to be comforted by the Westminster Confession, but HEY! God hears me when I pray, so what else really matters?

Just a little SHOUT OUT to say THANK YOU to Crossroads Presbyterian Church for the beautiful and encouraging card today! Perfect timing in light of the grouchy-just over-watered a plant and spilled water everywhere-kind-of-day I’m having.

!

I am very much looking forward to being with you all!
Just a few weeks now. Boy! The time is flying.

Happy Wednesday–
Tara B.

You probably know that when you have a fever of 102.5, your skin and entire body just ACHE. (That’s been our experience these last couple of days.)

BUT ... did you also know that there is a FLU MEDICINE available for the Influenza-A (respiratory) flu (that Fred has)??? I didn’t!

But after he spent ALL NIGHT coughing (and given his history of pneumonia), I called the doctor this morning and they said, “Get him in right now. If we catch it within a 48-hour window, there is a medicine that can help. HIM. Not you.”

(No meds for the gastro-flu. Oh well.)

SO ... after our sainted friend took a very healthy Sophie to co-op (AND took of all of my teaching duties!), I drove Fred to the clinic. In addition to starting the medicine, they gave him some cough syrup with codeine ... so hopefully he’ll be able to sleep even just a tiny bit. Poor guy.

Other than all THAT this morning, I’m just in “trying to feel better and deal with the chaos of our house” mode.

A big blessing? My two lots of clothes off of Ebay came this week (I can usually outfit Sophie for an entire SEASON off of one or two Ebay lots) ... so once I feel up to it, I’m going to tackle putting away/giving away winter clothes and start in on organizing shorts & skirts & sun dresses.

Why did I mentioned PRIDE in this post? Because I was thinking (in my fevered / all day in bed state) yesterday how:

1. Many times, when I can’t figure out or “FIX” something right away, I panic/freak out.

2. Often, my “the room is spinning, I can’t get on top of this” FEAR comes across as ANGER.

3. At the root of this? Deep down? IS PRIDE. I don’t want to look bad. Either I’ve done something selfish/stupid or I LOOK like I’ve done something selfish/stupid ... and I want to CONTROL/FIX the situation SO THAT I DON’T LOOK BAD.

Blech. Who will rescue me from this body of death?
Thanks be to God for Jesus.

I pray that I will repent of my “comes across as anger” FEAR and my selfish heart of PRIDE too.

Hope you’re feeling healthy and enjoying a lovely Tuesday!

(Oh–and if you get a respiratory FLU with a fever, GO TO THE DOCTOR RIGHT AWAY!!! It’s not a typical “wait 7 to 10 days there is nothing they can do for the flu” situation any more.)

With joy,
Tara B.

Fred and I are still cooking along in the 101.6 - 102.0 fevered range, so not a lot going on in the Barthel home today.

But I did receive a nice email from my dad and his wife with photos of his new “sea scapes” and I wanted to share them with you to honor him:







My father is an engineer by training and life experience, but in his retirement and as he has battled cancer and heart troubles, he has taken to creating these “sea scapes” from sand, shells, and hand-crafted sea creatures. I know he would love to sell them to anyone with an interest in underwater scenes – so if you live by a beach or just like beach-themed handicrafts, please be sure to drop me a note.

Back to bed now!

Blessings,
Tara B.

If you are ever looking for a duplication company for your CDs or DVDs, I highly recommend:

Above All Multimedia Partners, LLC.
www.AboveAllMultimedia.com
847.506.0600

I found this company online YEARS ago (back when they were copying TAPES for me!) and I have never had ANY concerns with them.

They are incredibly prompt, professional, and courteous. Their prices are competitive (if not down-right DEALS) and they don’t require HUGE orders to reach those competitive prices.

I know that their profit margin can’t be that huge–I’m actually always thinking about margin when interacting with any small business ... guess I still have a few MBA brain cells left in there–but it is fair.

I have never had ANY problems with quality. Ever. And their shipping is actual cost–so you don’t lose out on having them out of town.

Sermon CDs? Your own studies? Keep them in mind.

I love to recommend them and I don’t think you’ll be sorry if you give them a try.

(Oh–and they have never asked me to direct people to them; I receive NO monetary benefit from doing so. I just really appreciate the good service they provide and I wanted to make sure you know about them.)

It’s 6AM! A new day! I’m plowing through emails, going to try to knock off another writing project this morning (and waiting at the Honda repair shop), walk the dog, read a little Bible & Luther, pick up a little CHAOS (that I didn’t tackle last night–I just had a WAVE of tiredness overtake me), and crank out another Tuesday.

Joy to you!

Yours,
Tara B.

Fred laughed when he read my “We had our worst fight EVER” post and said, “We’ve had worse!”

I (wisely, don’t you think?! ) said, “Let’s not re-live them, so OK. I trust you that we’ve had worse.”

Sophie (in her Dalmatian costume) and I DID get all of your orders packed and SENT (with EIGHT MINUTES TO SPARE before the post office closed!), so that’s a load off of my mind.

I made it through my low energy day without defaulting to my habitual sins–so that’s GRACE, baby!

Now it’s bedtime for this Barthel Momma. I have to get the car in to the shop tomorrow because it “acted up” (as only a fifteen year old/130,000 mile car can do) this weekend and we’re REALLY hoping it is fixable because we’re supposed to go and see Samara & TJ & Scout & William this week in Helena.

(Samara laughed when I told her we’re having car trouble & I said I’D RENT A CAR before we’d cancel our trip this week, and SHE said, “OR YOU COULD BUY A NEW CAR.” She knows how we’re eeeeeeeeeking every last mile out of our grad school vehicle.)

ANYWAY ... the house is in chaos, but we had a good day of Bible / catechism / reading / learning to tell time / “Lollipop Logic” (we LOVE logic!!) / cheerleading dress up / SUPER SOPHIE dress up (another costume from Grandma Chris!) / dollhouse playtime with a parade included / making flags out of straws and scrap paper / MORE SHRINKY DINKS / some Max & Ruby videos / reading some favorite books / a CARD from ALASKA (Hi Auntie Judy!) ... and more cuddles and kisses than I can count. (Ahhhhhhhhh ... I’m glad I have a kissy, cuddly kid.)

I hope your Monday went well too!

G'nite and God bless,
Tara B.

Well ... I’ve been struck completely OUT by the worst migraine I’ve had in YEARS. Started around 5PM, but by 7PM, I was incapacitated in a dark room with an ice pack on my head and STILL vomiting.

I had a TINY bit of relief around 4:10AM. Oh! How I thanked God for only throbbing pain rather than excruciating pain. I have no idea how people in such CHRONIC pain (or our soldiers being tortured!) survive. (Not to equate my tiny suffering with theirs! I just marvel at what people can survive when they are REALLY suffering.)

ANYWAY ... this blog post marks the entirety of the time I will be upright for the next three hours as Soph is happily occupied and I’m heading to the darkness of the basement.

One of the things that troubled me in the night, though, was that I haven’t yet reminded you all that our little “initial sale” price on my DVD series ends in three days (March 15)

Living the Gospel in Relationships

And I’m particularly wanting to be sure I remind you because (BIG NEWS!) it looks like my denomination (the PCA) and Peacemaker Ministries MAY be picking it up in their bookstores.

If they do, the price will have to go up even MORE because our family will have to pay some royalty fees. And I didn’t want to mislead you or have you miss out on the “pretty much our costs cost.”

OK. Even dimmed, the light of this laptop is too much.

God bless you!
God is with you!
And He is mighty to save.

Yours,
Tara B.

I’m home safe and sound.

Virginia was SUCH a blessing! (Thank you, Virginia!)

But I am spent.

Four weeks of back-to-back events with a bout of insomnia mixed in; nonstop conflict coaching in between teaching sessions; and oh yeah–my “real” job of mommy & wife-hood ...

I’m a tired Tara.

BUT ... friend/prayer group this morning was GRAND; after Bible reading, I started Luther’s “Bondage of the Will” (been meaning to read it for a LONG time); I had a nice long visit with Fred this morning; Sophie and I had a lovely extended time of “lessons”/play.

Laundry is done. It’s a CLEAN SHEET DAY (hooray!). Vacuuming & dusting is done on the main level. We’ve had a nice long family walk tonight. Everyone is fed.

Just a little more cleaning tonight (I just don’t think I can bear one more night of the bathroom being in its current state!) and hopefully some rest will come my way tonight.

DID YOU SEE THAT ANDREE SEU’S SON (the one that is in prison) CAME TO SAVING FAITH IN CHRIST THIS MONTH?!?!? It was the best news I heard all day. PRAISE GOD!!

I will hopefully blog “for real” tomorrow.

G'nite and God bless!

Yours,
Tara B.

PS
THANKS for the dvd orders from this weekend and the Virginia “pink to ship” orders too. I hope to have them packaged up tomorrow and off in the mail right away. Fred forgot the box of resources on his desk (oops!). He offered to go back to the office ... but it’s 8:30PM and it’d take like 45 minutes, so I hope you agree that one extra day is not too inconvenient and I told him to please just rest and relax.

Just a quick note to say a hello and THANK YOU to all of the wonderful FLORIDA ladies that I had the joy of serving yesterday. It was SUCH a joy to be with you all!

I made it home around 11PM (1AM Florida time–EEK!) and Fred and I stayed up way too late talking and canoodling. Ahhhhh – it was a nice, sweet tired this morning at Sunday school class and church.

My laptop is charging up nice and fine on my secondary A/C adapter ... so I’ll try get on top of all of my “final final wrap up” Florida stuff tomorrow (including your orders!) because I turn around for Virginia on Thursday.

I pray that you are resting in God’s grace today and remembering who you are in Christ.

God keeps His promises. He is ever faithful!

I’ll try to write more if I can get on top of the chaos around here.

Blessed Sabbath to you–

Yours,
Tara B.

Just a note to let you know that I am going to be OFFLINE for a couple of days. (What will I DO?!?!)

I’m in Florida and my A/C power cord for my laptop just COMPLETELY DIED.

I have like 22 minutes of battery power left–and I’m kind of freaking out about it.
I didn’t even bring a book to read!?!

That I’m freaking out is not a good sign, eh?
Maybe I’m “hooked” to my email/blog “connectedness” just a LITTLE TOO MUCH.

Anyway ... not for long.
I have all day today and 5 hours of flights tomorrow to find something else to do with my time. Blergh. I try to be so productive on trips!! This is stressing me out.

Guess it’s time to pray. (Always time to pray.)

Hope your weekend goes well and I’ll let you know if I ever get power again!

God bless from your acoustic/unplugged pal,
Tara B.