considerable grace

Pastor Brian Croft continues to share solid gold nuggets of pastoral wisdom over at Practical Shepherding. Don’t miss today’s post:

What is a common, yet unbiblical, way that a pastor evaluates his ministry?

As always, he is specifically speaking to pastors, but I can’t help but think of how his insights apply to every Christian ministry. Yes, we laypeople will not be called to give an account for the souls of people because we do not hold ecclesiastical authority over them. But still, we have duties to our leaders and duties to our fellow church members. God calls us to pray for, bless, serve, encourage, bear with, protect, help, forgive, love one another. All of these “one anothering” commands of Scripture require one thing: authentic, deep, vulnerable, committed, covenantal, sacrificial, grace-infused, relationships. NOT “big numbers.”

So when you think about your MOPS group or women’s Bible study or executive/professional women’s prayer lunch, what do you get most excited about? If you’re on staff with a Christian parachurch ministry, how do you measure “success”?

Growth in grace? Confidence in Christ? Turning away from the world, the Old Man, and evil desires—and turning to God in saving and sanctifying faith?

Or numbers?

Sobering thoughts. I’ll close with just a few lines from Pastor Croft’s post:

"Dear brothers, we will give an account for our ministries, thus, they need to be evaluated regularly by us and others. Yet, a wrongful and unbiblical method of evaluation will lead to a distracted vision of where and what our ministries should be focused on ... We will most certainly give an account, but it will not be based on attendance records, but how faithfully and sacrificially we have watched over the souls of the people the Chief Shepherd has placed in our care until He returns (1 Peter 5:4)."

This (insightful!) CCEF article is about a mother of a groom, but really? It’s about every single one of us. We all have fears and idols and escapist tendencies. We all struggle with guilt, envy, and pride. And some of us are prone to “wining” (to quote the author—"no typo").

Read it and be blessed:

The Emotional Life of the Mother of the Groom

(HT: my FaceBook friend and real-life friend, Bobbi M.)

I (happily) had to put in another order with Westminster Books because our fall women’s study on the Psalms has so many women signed up. I actually teared up when one woman told me yesterday how she is inviting four friends to join us (one of whom is 95 years old! how great is THAT for our little group?!) because she just LOVES to study the Psalms. She said:

"When I first became a Christian, I was taught to pray by praying through the Psalms."

Goosebumps! Totally made me think of something I was taught when I was saved by God as a teenager:

"You always pray in line with God’s will when you pray to be more like Jesus."

For someone with no religious training and a doctrinal foundation about as thin (and yet sufficient) as you can get ("Ummm. Jesus died for my sins. That’s pretty much all I know."), that was some great advice on prayer.

Then, this morning, I was reminded of another profound gift I was given re: prayer. I woke up so discouraged and so sad. I could barely get out of bed, so I reached for my Bible and the Handbook to Prayer (Praying Scripture Back to God) that Sophie and I have started using together this summer. (HT to Tim Voorhees for that wonderful gift years ago!) And my reading in the Psalms was similarly wonderful. Thankfully, I was at Psalm 46. So afterwards I had to tell Sophie a fun story about accompanying the MCHS choir in a rendition of that way, way back in 1988:

God is our Refuge and Strength

All in all, my heart a little more focused on the Lord and a little less focused on ME, so with that, I think I’ll try to head into my day.

God bless you and give you a prayerful, God-centered day!

Your friend,
Tara B.

I really appreciated Pastor Anyabwile’s summary of these excellent articles by Ligon Duncan:

The Gospel and the Local Congregation

What is Evangelism? And What is the Gospel?

I encourage you to read the entire articles themselves (or at least Thabiti’s summary), here are just a few excerpts to tempt you:

"By [gospel culture] I mean:

- that your whole congregation would be able to articulate the Gospel, personally, in a compelling and understandable way;

- that your whole congregation would deeply care about conversions (and I would lay stress here, that we are talking about real conversions, not numbers; but disciples, not decisions; but changed lives);

- that your whole congregation would be excited about the Gospel itself, and not simply about a method of sharing the Gospel, or a training program.

The aim of our study in the Gospel Course was (among other things), to provide participants with a fuller understanding of the Gospel; an opportunity to hone their Christian testimony; a simple, biblical, outline of the Gospel; encouragements and helps to share the Gospel; and encouragement and instruction on how to engage others in the church in this Gospel culture."

The second post takes up the questions “What Is Evangelism and What Is the Gospel?” Adopting J.I. Packer’s excellent definition of evangelism, Ligon says: “Evangelism is to bear witness to Jesus Christ, in the power of the Holy Spirit, so that [1] people may come to put their trust in God, through Christ; [2] to acknowledge Him as their Savior; and [3] to serve Him as their King, [4] in the fellowship of His Church.”

Whew! That sounds like a course that I would like to sign up for. Not just for myself (I’m so often lazy, jaded, and selfish), but also for how I help Sophia as she is so eager to share about Jesus and “help people with their doctrine” (her words). I particularly appreciated the comment about “real conversions, not numbers.” Yes. Yes. Real salvation by the real God affecting real life—all of real life, within the fellowship of His Church.

Much to think about here. Hope it’s a blessing to you on this lovely Tuesday morning!

Your friend,
Tara B.

No matter what is on your heart as you wake up this Monday morning, I bet these 3 minutes and 49 seconds will help to reorient you to a God-centered focus that says, “Yes! This is true. Thank You, Lord, that this really is true.”



(HT: The Gopel Coalition Blog)

So intense. (A little too rocky music-wise for my simple ears.) But SO good too:



HT: TakeYourVitaminZ

Would you like to be encouraged this morning? Enjoy these reflections from Pastor Thabiti Anyabwile on his recent trip to The Legacy Conference:

Random Reflections on the Legacy Conference

Wow! The ministry of the Church in urban settings is amazing. (I’m getting a big dose of that through my Tim Keller podcasts.) Plus? That city of Chicago has got it going on! Totally reminds me of going to the ol' Moody Bible Institute Friday Sing as a brand-new (teenage) Christian.

'Course, I’m sure the music at this conference was a little different from the Gaither songs, hymns, and 1980’s (brand-new) contemporary Christian songs we sang, you know, 25+ years ago. But the heart sure sounds the same! And we know that God never changes, so the focus of the worship must be the same.

Thanks, Pastor Anyabwile, for this post and for your devotion to God, your family, your church, and ministering the gospel with infectious enthusiasm. What a great way to start the day!

Blessings to you,
Tara B.

I’m (slowly) moving back into the habit of listening to an ipod sermon while walking Lilikoi each morning. (My sanity and health require it.) And this one by Tim Keller was a real treat:

Inside Out Living

It’s actually been hanging out in my queue for awhile but I hadn’t listened to it for a few months because I found the title hokey. I’m glad I finally got over that and gave it a listen. Here’s the description:

"A commmon misconception about religion is that it is seeking approval and acceptance from God through our behavior, but this approach is self-centered and self-righteous, leading only to a rejection of God and Christian community. Real acceptance from God only comes from accepting God’s grace and Christ’s sacrifice to atone for our sins."

I don’t know how you do on vacation, but our little family REALLY struggles to maintain any sort of spiritual discipline when we’re out of our normal life routine and into any sort of indulgent / veg-out / relaxed season. This is especially true when we visit my sister and her Fred because we all really love to hang out together. Oh! How we laugh and laugh as we play cards or Wii into the late night hours ... it’s great, but it’s also exhausting in that stayin-up-late-eating-heavy-foods-totally-non-redemptive kind of way.

So this trip, we really prayed and prepared in advance to TRY to maintain SOME sort of family spiritual anchor. Primarily, we are doing this by reading the Bible and praying together FIRST THING each morning right as we get up and change Ella’s diaper and cuddle and talk together. Fred is doing a great job helping us to maintain this discipline, especially the “FIRST THING” aspect of it because if we even head to breakfast first, we tend to SCATTER into lots of directions. And we simply don’t make it a priority to get back together again to read and pray.

This morning our reading came from Ephesians 2. It was such a great discussion with Sophie about our three enemies (Satan, the world, our Old Man), the impotence of our works, and God’s merciful love and saving grace that I wanted to share the entire passage with you:

"And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience—–among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind.

But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved—–and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.

For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." Ephesians 2:1-10 ESV (emphases mine)

Isn’t that “BUT GOD” at verse four just the best news in the world?!

I hope you will meditate on that as you go throughout your day. I hope I will too.

Happy Wednesday to you—

Yours,
Tara B.

Pastor Alfred is preaching through the book of Revelation, so we are obviously getting a lot to think about each Sunday morning. (If you’re interested in hearing the series, our church’s sermons are posted here each week.)

Yesterday, his sermon was from Revelation 14-15.4 and he titled it, “Proclaiming the Eternal Gospel.” It was packed with many teaching points (45 minute sermons will do that for you—HOORAY!). But here are just a few that have really stuck with me as I continue to meditate on the passage and discuss it with Sophie too:

- Why does God want us to hear the “therefores” of the gospel? Because the gospel is not SIMPLY good news. The gospel always comes with a call, a demand to respond. We must do something with what we hear. If we hear the gospel and continue worshiping the Beast? Well, then it is not eternal good news. So ... what is God demanding of you?

- v8 says that “Babylon is fallen.” (Babylon here indicating anything that satan uses to oppose God’s truth.) "Babylon is fallen" is only good news if Babylon is not your home. (You can take Lot’s wife out of Babylon, but you can’t take Babylon out of Lot’s wife.)

- “If you worship the Beast, you will be damned.” This message, the message of God’s wrath, is the most offensive message to Western Man. He responds, “How DARE God judge ME! If anyone should be judged, it should be GOD. Look at the way He runs the world. I would do it SO much better!” But God alone is the Just Judge.

- Sin is our love of everything that God calls evil and our hatred of everything that God calls good. Thus, sin is ultimately hatred of God.

- The gospel is good news for bad people.

Mmmmmmm ...

I’m going to chew on those some more. But for now, I have to scoot.

Hope your Monday is off to a great start! I’m staring at 99.9% completely packed suitcases (thanks to my friend Michelle—who kept our girls yesterday so I could pack uninterrupted—THANKS MICHELLE!).

Blessings,
Tara B.

Otherwise, not being a big sports fan, I never would have even known about this brother in Christ. I’m looking forward to meeting him in Heaven one day:

Manute Bol’s Radical Christianity

(HT: TakeYourVitaminZ)

Earlier today I stumbled upon some old journals from years ago and was blessed by the reminders they contained. So I thought I’d share them with you:

You’re trying to do for yourself what Christ already did for you—–trying to clean up your life.

From Martin Luther’s Introduction to His Commentary on Galatians:

"Two kinds of righteousness, active and passive, to the end that manners and faith, works and grace, policy and religion, should not be confounded, or take the one for the other. Both are necessary; but must be kept within their bounds; Christian righteousness appertaineth to the new man, and the righteousness of the law appertaineth to the old man, which is born of flesh and blood. … So both these continue while we live here.

The flesh is accused, exercised with temptations, oppressed with heaviness and sorrow, bruised by its active righteousness of the law; but the spirit reigneth, rejoiceth, and is saved by the passive and Christian righteousness, because it knoweth that it hath a Lord in Heaven, at the right hand of His Father, who hath abolished the law, sin, death, and hath trodden under His feet all evils, led them captive, and triumphed over them in Himself (Col. 2:15)."

What do we look like when we fail to accept who we are (good and bad)?
- Perfectionism / Intolerance / Judgmental
- Resignation / Defeatism / Licentiousness
- Rejection of God, the Gospel, Christ
- Excessive anger, rage, frustration, disappointment
- Rejection of self, others, broken relationships
- Insecurity / Misery

“The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the defense of my life; whom shall I dread?” Psalm 27:1

Not even my sin, weakness, or stupidity can thwart God’s perfect plan. Grace covers over. I’m not just forgiven, I’m adopted. Wanted. Chosen. Beloved.

Praying that God will drill those truths deeper and deeper into every cell of my being—
And yours too.

Happy Tuesday,
Tara B.

“Members of Christian churches continue to think small thoughts of God and great thoughts of man. This state of affairs reveals that too many Christians have neglected their first great calling: to know their God. Every Christian is meant to be a theologian in the best and most intimate sense of the word.”

“To practical biblical theology is to know God’s macro story of redemption. Second, the biblical theologian is a person committed to understanding the history of revelation, the grand themes and doctrines of the Bible, and how they fit together. In other words, healthy church members give themselves to understanding the unity and progression of the Bible as a whole—not just isolated or favorite passages.”

“We want the gospel central to our communication with others, central to how we encourage and correct, central to individual career and relationship decisions, central to the decisions the church makes corporately, and central to all our habits of life. We want the gospel, the God of the gospel, to take priority in every area of life.”

(Quotes from What is a Healthy Church Member? by Thabiti Anyabwile)

“We trust the Lord with regards to what he has promised. In all else, he calls us to be responsible and to be wise.” VanDrunen

(HT: Thomas Knox Myrick)

I’ve watched this video a few times in the last week (well, technically, I had it playing in the background—I’ve never actually watched the video, I just appreciate the words and music).

Each time, I’ve been tremendously blessed to be drawn by the Holy Spirit into intimate, abiding worship of the Triune God. I hope it likewise helps to lead you by the Spirit to the throne room of Christ our King and God the Father. What a Savior! What a God.

Tim Challies quoting Max McLean:

"The Bible is its own evangelist. I came to faith because I was deeply affected by the words of the Bible. The famous British preacher Charles Spurgeon was once asked how he responded to criticisms of the Bible. "Very easy," he responded. “I defend the Bible the same way I defend a lion. I simply let it out of its cage.” That quote captures our vision for this book and for the growth of ministries that are committed to the passionate, articulate, and powerful reading of Scripture. Isn’t it time to let the Bible out of the cage, or (to borrow from the title of this book) to unleash God’s Word?

When I tell a Bible story, I have a quiet confidence that God is going to do a mighty work by the very act of reading his Word. Therefore, my objective is to engage hearers and draw them into the Word of God. My role is to use my skills and abilities, as best I can, to draw them into an experience with the Word." (Max McLean, Unleashing the Word: Rediscovering the Public Reading of Scripture)

Amen!

And what a great reminder that most people who “don’t like” the Bible or “don’t believe in” the Bible have never actually READ the Bible.

Maybe they’ve had a verse here and there yanked out of context and thrown in their face as a judgmental attack. But rarely have they been helped to understand the arc of history—Creation, The Fall, Redemption; and the One Who holds eternity in the palm of His hand.

No need to get defensive! The Bible needs defending like a lion needs defending. Interesting word picture, eh?

I’m off to my first of three airports now—
Hope you have a blessed Sabbath!

Yours,
Tara B.

It was all set to be one of those weeks anyway—lots of “extras” in the schedule, some relatively enjoyable, some downright unpleasant, but all of them requiring extra effort and time. Then two conflict situations arose and I added in some peacemaking time to help some friends. (Always honored to do so, of course, but still. Conflict is hard!) Then, of course, the Youth Orchestra fundraiser pizzas were scheduled to arrive (and we HAVE to pick them up during a certain two-hour window) and we have our final concert of the season at the Yellowstone Art Museum Thursday night. Friday is our day to stuff bulletins at the church and then I need to set up my booktable for a speaking event Friday-Saturday.

All of that was actually seeming OK. Normal life. No biggie. I’m a blessed woman. But then we found out yesterday morning that Fred had to fly to Houston THIS morning (it’s 5AM and I’m just now back from the airport) and he’ll be there all week. So single Momma Tara it is. (Gulp.)

And THEN (of course) Lilikoi ends up getting sick all over the house in the night. (Poor doggie!) But gross gross gross is not going to clean itself up on its own.

And in an hour or so, I need to leave for what will probably be one of the most unpleasant doctor appointments of my life—followed by an afternoon at the dentist’s for two crowns and a cavity repair (!!).

Still ... when I write it all up like this, I quickly see that it’s all a true, “Who cares?!” moment. Talk about your light and momentary, barely qualifies as trouble, troubles. I’ll get through the uncomfortable appointment. I’ll survive. Fred will serve well in a challenging situation. I probably won’t have a true anxiety attack during my dentist appointment. Fifteen pizzas will be safely tucked into my freezer tonight. Lilikoi? Hmmmmmm ... I’m thinking maybe a trip to the vet. They’re WAY better equipped to deal with a sick pup than a babysitter is AND she’s due for her spring tune-up/shots anyway.

See! No problem. No problem at all.
(Can you tell I’m trying to psych myself up?)

It probably won’t go down in my list of all-time best weeks ever. But oh! This isn’t suffering. The sick dog thing almost brings it into the realm of dark humor, well, if it weren’t so gross.

I’ll just call it “not the best week” and remember last night when I explained to Sophia that there were some challenging things happening this week and I was feeling a little scared. But that God was with me and I was praying and I knew that I’d be OK. Ultimately. To which she paused, thought for a moment, and then so lovingly replied:

"Are you being sanctified, Mom?"

Yes. Yes I am.

Happy, blessed, hang in there Tuesday to you!
He is risen. He is risen indeed.

Yours,
Tara B.

One of my favorite memories from my law school days was the time that Dr. Paul Jensen (who also happened to be a law student at the same time—long story) facilitated a discussion during Easter Week on the evidence for the resurrection of Jesus Christ and what would a jury say?

He was his usual humble, brilliant self. And, as one of the leaders of the law school’s Christian Legal Society student group (who was sponsoring the discussion), I was thrilled that it was standing-room only.

I’d have to dig up my old notes to review all of his points. But I remember that he was careful to include only points that were supported by extra-biblical sources. (He quoted the Jewish historian Josephus quite a bit, as well as other writers.) He did so not because the Bible is unreliable, of course, but because he was well aware that he was addressing a “hostile” audience (not hostile violent, but hostile like a adverse witness at trial); most of the people in the room were dismissive of the Bible and since there was such a rich discussion to be had based on other sources, why not have that as a starting point?

I loved it. And I was praying. A lot.

Off the top of my head, 15 years later, these are a few of the evidences he suggested:

1. The Conversion of Saul (Paul)

2. The Change in the Disciples (from quivering and fearful / denying Christ even to a servant girl; to bold and courageous witnesses)

3. The Martyrdom of the Disciples (some people may die for something they believe in, but rarely will people die for something they know to be a fraud/lie)

4. The Inability of the Roman Rulers to Ever Produce Christ’s Body (they absolutely would have if they could have)

5. The Minor Variances in the Testimonies of Eye Witnesses (lessening the risk of collusion and increasing their credibility)

6. The Fact that it was Women Who First Testified to the Resurrection (no one at that time would have chosen women to be the first witnesses; but facts are facts and that is, in fact, what happened)

(Obviously, he didn’t order his points this way. I just jotted them down in the random order I could come up with early on this lovely, albeit cold, April Saturday.)

If you’d like to read further on some of these points, with a quick Google (formerly Topeka) search, I found a nice little article along a similar vein here:

A Judge Looks at the Evidence for the Resurrection

Also, Monergism.com was kind enough to compile a fine list of links and articles on the resurrection for us here if you’re in the mood to do even more reading.

But of course, all of the pleasure of intellectual reasoning in the world will never save our soul. So mostly? I pray that even today, we would drink deeply from God’s Word, believe that He is Who He says He is, put all of our faith in His Son, rest in the hope and assurance of our salvation as confirmed by the Holy Spirit Who lives within us, and prepare our hearts for corporate worship on tomorrow’s Resurrection Sunday (and pray for our pastors who will preach God’s Word and for all hearers to it!). For the glory of the Lord and the furtherance of His Kingdom.

Blessings,
Tara B.

"Uncertainty is not the same as humility." Kevin DeYoung

Isn’t it strange, C.S. Lewis wondered, that the Law would be the Psalmist’s delight (Ps. 1:2)? Respect or reverence we might understand, but delight? Who delights in law? And why? Lewis explains, “Their delight in the Law, is a delight in having touched firmness; like the pedestrian’s delight in feeling the hard road beneath his feet after a false short cut has long entangled him in muddy fields." C.S. Lewis, Reflections on the Psalms

“But if any one fact is clear, on the basis of this evidence, it is that the Christian movement at its inception was not just a way of life in the modern sense, but a way of life founded upon a message. It was based, not upon mere feeling, not upon a mere program of work, but upon an account of facts. In other words it was based upon doctrine.” J. Gresham Machen, Christianity and Liberalism

“It is the dogma that is the drama—not beautiful phrases, nor comforting sentiments, nor vague aspirations to loving—kindness and uplift, nor the promise of something nice after death—but the terrifying assertion that the same God who made the world, lived in the world and passed through the grave and gate of death. Show that to the heathen, and they may not believe it; but at least they may realize that here is something that man might be glad to believe.” Dorothy Sayers

(Quoted in Kevin DeYoung and Ted Kluck’s book, Why We’re Not Emergent: By Two Guys Who Should Be)

PS
If you don’t know anything about Dorothy Sayers, pop on over to this brief article on the Christian History Blog. Except for the unfortunate use of the malapropism “realer,” it’s a lovely and informative read.

Our spring women’s study started recently. We’re going through Paul Miller’s (excellent) book, A Praying Life: Connecting with God in a Distracting World, and I thought I’d share a few nuggets with you from last week’s study (emphases added are mine):

- (After sharing a story of his daughter’s frustration because “prayer, it seemed, didn’t work” ...) "Few of us have Ashley’s courage to articulate the quiet cynicism or spiritual weariness that develops when heartfelt prayer goes unanswered. We keep our doubts hidden even from ourselves because we don’t want to sound like bad Christians. No reason to add shame to our cynicism. So our hearts shut down. ...

Cynicism and glibness are just part of the problem. The most common frustration is the activity of praying itself. We last for about fifteen seconds and then out of nowhere the day’s to-do list pops up and our minds are off on a tangent. We catch ourselves and, by sheer force of will, go back to praying. Before we know it, it has happened again. In stead of praying, we are doing a confused mix of wandering and worrying. Then the guilt sets in ..."

- “We know we don’t need to clean up our act in order to become a Christian, but when it comes to praying, we forget this ... We don’t know how bad we are until we try to be good ... Jesus does not say, ‘Come to me, all you who have learned how to concentrate in prayer, whose minds no longer wander, and I will give you rest.’ ... No, the criteria for coming to Jesus is weariness. Come overwhelmed with life. Come with your wandering mind. Come messy.”

- “Don’t be embarrassed by how needy your heart is and how much it needs to cry out for grace. Just start praying. Remember the point of Christianity is not to learn a lot of truths so you don’t need God anymore.”

- "You’d think if Jesus was the Son of God, he wouldn’t need to pray."

That last quote is worth the price of the entire book, I think.

I’m looking forward to spending these ten weeks with these dear women and learning and growing with them in this “praying life” adventure.

Blessings to you on this wonderful day of corporate worship and rest!

Yours,
Tara B.

Thanks, TakeYourVitaminZ, for linking to this exposition of Psalm 3:

Learning How to Process and Approach Life (Psalm 3) by Justin Buzzard

Tim Challies wrote a great post this morning about the benefits and blessings that come from expository preaching. He tittled the post after a Josh Harris quote:

"Once you’re exposed to [doctrine], you see the richness in it for your own soul, and you’re ruined for anything else."

How right he is.

I think that is one of the reasons why I am, in general, such a women’s event skeptic — yet such a happy, grateful participant when it comes to the annual PCA CE&P Women’s Leadership Conference. Rather than only having interesting, helpful, entertaining, topical “teachings” — (like so many women’s conferences) — the CE&P always blesses us with rich, Christ-exalting preaching by our ordained pastors and theologians.

I’ve learned from great men like Bryan Chapell and Ligon Duncan here. (I’m even subscribing to Dr. Duncan’s podcast sermons now. Whooo hooo! Tackling those mp3/iPod fears head on.) And I’m looking forward to taking lots of notes from Jerram Barrs this weekend.

Plus, of course, the women who teach here (present company excluded) are off the chart brilliant, experienced, wise, educated, humble, and truly insightful as they help us all to grow in grace. I always leave this conference encouraged. And, I always leave this conference motivated and equipped to better love and serve—God, my family, my church, my community—the world.

I’m obviously grateful to be here. And I want to encourage you to attend this conference in the coming years if you ever have a chance to do so.

I’ll give Tim Challies the last word on all of these ideas:

"I once went on a weekend men’s retreat that featured teaching from several local pastors. We heard some interesting messages about serving our wives, about being men of integrity and so on. We had joyful times of worship and lots of time to blow each other away with paintball guns.

The thing that has remained in my mind, though, was one of the sermons delivered that weekend.

While we had received a steady diet of topical sermons, one of the pastors stood and delivered what was, in effect, a biblically-grounded expository message. He simply opened up the Bible and explained to us what it meant and how we could apply it to our lives. He gave us real doctrine—true meat instead of mere milk.

As we walked from the meeting room to our cabins I could tell there was a buzz running through the crowd of men. They had enjoyed the sermon and had been electrified by it. But they had no category for it. I heard comments like, “I don’t know what that was, but it was amazing! I wish we could hear more teaching like that!” I sat with a small group of men a few minutes later and introduced to them the concept of expositional preaching. Most had never heard of any such thing; neither had they ever enjoyed a sermon like it ...

I saw this time and time again. The church was so good at bringing people in through the front doors. They would come in and very often would be saved. Many people were drawn in, became believers, and were baptized. But often they would not last at the church too long.

Within a few months or a couple of years they would often step right out the back door. Few left the church and left the faith altogether. Rather, they would leave and head for churches where there was teaching that was more biblical. They would head for churches where the Word was the main thing. They would be drawn to stronger, more biblical teaching, even when they did not know how to express what they needed or what they longed for. Eventually they would find it."

Oh! How I thank God for our pastors who faithfully exposit Scripture week after week (after week after week). Thank God for the meat of the Word! Thank God for pastors who feed their sheep.

Off into a busy day now—

Joy to you,
Tara B.

I was given this book at my January event in South Carolina and I was thinking about taking it to Georgia this week as airplane reading fodder:



Same Kind of Different As Me

After reading this blog entry from John Piper? I’m REALLY thinking I might take it with me.

I’d love to lose myself in a good book ...

(Oh, and the title of this blog post is a quote from the book.)

From Jerry Bridges:

"Whatever Scriptures we use to assure us of God’s forgiveness, we must realize that whether the passage explicitly states it or not, the only basis for God’s forgiveness is the blood of Christ shed on the cross for us. As the writer of Hebrews said, “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness of sins" (9:22), and the context makes it clear that it is Christ’s blood that provides the objective basis on which God forgives our sins."

And from God Himself:

"As far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us." (Psalm 103:12)

“Blessed are those whose lawless deeds are forgiven, and whose sins are covered; blessed is the man against whom the Lord will not count his sin.” (Romans 4:7-8 )

“I, I am he who blots out your transgressions for my own sake, and I will not remember your sins.” (Isaiah 43:25)

And now ... with those truths to comfort, strengthen, and encourage me ... offline and off into my day.

Happy Friday to you,
Tara B.

Yesterday morning, I struggled to even get out of bed. (But I really HAD to get out of bed because the girls and I had to leave the house by 8:30AM to be on time for co-op.)

My heart was heavy. I’m pretty much under a weight of low-level, but constant, anxiety these days. I really didn’t know how I could put one foot in front of the other and just do the next thing.

So I grabbed my Bible and didn’t move out of bed for 40 minutes. I just read and re-read (and then read to Sophie when she climbed in next to me) Ephesians 2:

"And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience–among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind.

But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—-by grace you have been saved—-and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.

For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them."

But God ...
BUT GOD ...
But God ...

Everything changes right there, doesn’t it?

This is the way we were.
This is the way we are still tempted to behave at times.

Living like children of wrath.
Losing our hope and joy when we put our confidence in our works and our works just don’t measure up.

But God ...
BUT GOD ...
But God ...

Yes. He has done this and He is doing this and He will do this.

Praise His glorious name.

TakeYourVitaminZ quoted Ray Ortlund:

My dad used to say to me, when I was a kid, “Listen, son. Half-hearted Christians are the most miserable people of all. They know enough to feel guilty, but they haven’t gone far enough with Christ to be happy. Be wholehearted for him!"

Amen!

I was reading an old World Magazine on my recent trip and one brief article really stood out in my mind.

It had to do with two U.S. journalists who were sentenced to 12 years' hard labor in a North Korean prison. They had already served 140 days (can you imagine doing hard labor in a North Korean prison for over three months?!), when suddenly, in a moment, everything changed for them:

U.S. journalists Laura Ling and Euna Lee were stunned to see the man standing behind the door in a Pyongyang meeting room on August 4: former President Bill Clinton. “We were shocked, but we knew instantly in our hearts that the nightmare of our lives was finally coming to an end.”

I remember gasping as I read those words on the plane. I instantly teared up too.

Why?

Because those women knew immediately that the man sitting in that room, Mr. Clinton, had the power and influence to save them. (Even if he didn’t have any official authority in North Korea. He surely had whatever was needed to set them free.)

Oh! Can you imagine? What a powerful illustration of exactly how every single day is for us who are in Christ, a new creation.

Once we were children of darkness, but now we are light in the Lord.
Once we were children of the devil, but now we belong to the Triune God.

Even in our ongoing struggle with satan, the world, and our Old Man/sin nature, we need only look at our Prophet, Priest, and King to see that He has the power, influence, and authority to set us free.

(Praise His Name!)

Oh, and just to be clear, I am in no way equating Bill Clinton with Jesus. The story was just an excellent reminder to me of the One Who sets me free from my prison.

Thank God that our freedom has been paid for (at great cost)!

"Long my imprisoned spirit lay,
Fast bound in sin and nature’s night;
Thine eye diffused a quickening ray—
I woke, the dungeon flamed with light;
My chains fell off, my heart was free,
I rose, went forth, and followed Thee.
My chains fell off, my heart was free,
I rose, went forth, and followed Thee."

Alleluia & Amen!

And g'nite, friends.

Yours,
Tara B.

Tonight Sophia did something that required a painful consequence. Fred was promptly on it and if things had gone as usual, they would’ve rejoined Ella and me on the bed and we would continued on into our family time of cuddling and reading.

Instead, even after being forgiven, Sophie kept hanging her head. Hiding her face in her hair. Not wanting to look at Fred or me. Not happily participating as before.

We tried to talk with her. We tried to reason with her. But ultimately? With prayer, this is pretty much what I said to her:

"My darling daughter,
You are in the battle. The Battle. The battle of our age and every age; the battle of adults and children; mature Christians and young Christians too.

Here is the battle: You know that God’s Word says you are forgiven. It is fact. A fait accompli. You have confessed your sins to God and He is faithful and just to forgive you your sins. You have confessed to me and I have forgiven you just as the Lord has forgiven me.

It is done. It is finished. Over. Covered. There is nothing more to be added to your repentance; no penitence or works or fine is due. Jesus died for your sins. His life and death are sufficient. His resurrection is your hope.

But here is the battle: You are tempted to doubt God. To call Him a Liar. To say, “It’s not enough that Jesus died for my sins! I also have to lie here and feel miserable for two hours and alienate myself from my family. THEN I can earn my way back into our happy fellowship.”

No. No. No, dear. That’s just not true. TRUTH prevails: You are forgiven. Covered. Washed clean. White as snow. Repent of any thought that tempts you to believe or feel otherwise. Turn away from condemnation and shame! And believe that Your God Saves. He wants to save. He delights in saving sinners just like you and me.

Here, come and cuddle with me while I finalize my notes and try to print out my boarding pass, etc. Run your fingers through my freshly washed hair as I work. (I’m using that nummy grape Bed Head conditioner you like!) Lean up against me and lean into me and let our time together remind you of truth—you are loved. You are forgiven. Everything is OK. Nothing can change my love for you. Nothing can change God’s love for you.

(Her breathing calms. Her eyes droop a little. We giggle over her extremely, extremely loose tooth that will for SURE be out of there before I return from SC Monday night. We discuss one more time what a tiny thing the actual disobedience was—but what a serious, important, huge issue the heart issue behind it was. That Fred and I long for her to enjoy God! And enjoy the blessings of peace and contentment that flow from wise, obedient choices in life. She seemed to get it a tiny bit.)

And then we tuck her into bed and I sit for a moment, picturing the next five days of my life. Will I make my six connections? Will my post-op knees survive the teeny tiny planes? Will God give me the grace I need to love so many women well and serve them well? Will I have sufficient energy? Oh! Will my knees collapse and throw me to the floor? That’d get their attention at least.

I guess we’ll find out in the next few days. I just need to confirm that Bible is packed and my wallet with I.D. is ready to go. Noise canceling earphones? Check! Sophie’s borrowed Ipod so generously loaned out to me? Check!A stack of Illinois Bar Magazines to read. Birthday cards for dear friends, already addressed and stamped—just needing some extra time to write a real note that goes far beyond merely signing my name.

In a nutshell, I’m off! But I feel the weight of not being near Ella. Sophia. Fred. Even fuzzy ol' Lilikoi, who we’ve taken to calling her “Kitty” for a nickname because she loves to come up under us and just rub her head on our legs and in our hands—just like a little cat. She’s so sweet, we don’t mind. But she’s earning the moniker of kitty so it might stick around.

May God keep them safe and me safe as I travel.
May Fred have the humility to admit when he needs help—may he reach out to people in town and let me know, too, so that I can work long distance to help find help for him.

Probably? My children will be happier in the care of Auntie Karen and Fred. They will have more fun. Eat better. And probably practice the violin and math a lot LESS. They will continue to calculate some perimeters of things and will begin to play around with the four forces that affect air flight (lift, thrust, gravity, drag/air resistance) as we more toward our science fair project. They will read and memorize Scripture. They will listen to diverse music and play fun games. Soph has also created a virtual sweat shop of Valentine’s Day card making and decorating, so I’m looking forward to seeing how all of that comes out.

And they have their little routines for when Mom is out of town ... one meal at Taco Bell (not my favorite); one meal of bbq ribs with beans and homemade cornbread (again, not my favorite, but they think it’s super fun to eat); date nights getting to sleep in our bed (!!), and mostly ... webcamming back in the room whenever you get even a moment.

All of that adventure will start in only a few hours so I’m REALLY hoping I can calm my mind down and get some sleep SOON.

Goodnight, all!
Sweet dreams!

To quote Fred’s dad, Grandpa Calvin, as he tucked Freddy B into bed each night with his whiskers skritchin' away on Fred’s face:

"Good night, Fredzel."

Still makes me smile to picture it.

These are the ties that bind.
This is how we make it through the great battle.

Signing off now—
Tara B.

No More My God
Isaac Watts 1674-1748

No more, my God, I boast no more
Of all the duties I have done;
I quit the hopes I held before,
To trust the merits of Thy Son.

Now, for the loss I bear His name,
What was my gain I count my loss;
My former pride I call my shame,
And nail my glory to His cross.

Yes, and I must and will esteem
All things but loss for Jesus’ sake;
O may my soul be found in Him,
And of His righteousness partake!

The best obedience of my hands
Dares not appear before Thy throne;
But faith can answer Thy demands,
By pleading what my Lord has done.

Vintage Jill Carattini in today’s RZIM Slice of Infinity:

Error of a Serious Sort

I encourage you to read it slowly. It’s that good.

Here’s just a brief excerpt (that you really should read in context to understand its richness and depth):

"In deep contrast to such severe or optimistic readings, the Christian view of humanity adds a nuanced dimension to the conversation. Christianity admits that while there is indeed an error of a serious sort, the error is not in “humanness” itself. Rather, something has gone wrong. Thus, the great paradox of humanity can be rightly acknowledged: we find in being human both a deep and sacred honor and yet a profound disgrace. This inherent recognition of imperfection is simultaneously a recognition that there must indeed be such a thing as perfection."

Yesterday I met for the first time with a new friend for prayer, Bible study, and accountability regarding a certain area of temptation that we both face.

As is often the case whenever I’m trying something new, I really (really!) wanted to back out at the last minute. New = scary, at least for me. (Not cooking level of scary or anything, but scary nonetheless.)

But I also really (really!) wanted to meet. Not with any “twelve step plan for victory” or spreadsheet of organized temptations & relevant Scriptures or even with any “big goal” in mind. But just for friendship and companionship along life’s journey—and for encouragement to remember what I know to be true, to believe it, and lay hold of it with all of my emotions and energies and thoughts and actions.

Because it’s one thing to believe something. It’s another thing to actually live it out. For that? We really require help—the present means of grace. The Body (the Church). The Holy Spirit. The Living, Active Word of God. Our baptism. The Lord’s Supper.

Friends.

Ahhh, friends. They don’t just “happen,” do they? Friendship, real relationship, takes time and effort. Vulnerability. An investment.

I’m always amazed when someone is willing to be my friend! To sit across from this godly young woman and learn with her? To enjoy her gifts and mind and passions? To help bear her burdens and have the privilege of praying for her? All while I know she is praying for me too? What an honor.

Especially when you consider that I just told her a bunch of my JUNK and she didn’t go running from the room in abject terror or disgust. No. Our casual acquaintanceship / sister in Christ / member of the same church but don’t really know each other relationship took one little step toward a genuine relationship. And I’m grateful. Very grateful.

And all throughout this day, when I was tempted for really no reason at all—tired, frustrated, a little scared by the size of some tasks before me—I was just a little quicker to repent. I prayed just a little more. I sang a hymn. I remembered truth:

"Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." Hebrews 4:14-16

Mmmmmmmmm ....

I’m praying that as you go throughout your day today, you will boldly approach the throne of grace with confidence!
And that you will do so with even just one or two authentic friends around you.

We’re not meant to be alone!
We are created for fellowship—with God and with neighbor.

Time to cuddle with my little snuggle bear while she enjoys her afternoon nap.

Blessings,
Tara B.

"Are you too bad to receive grace? Grace woos and comforts us when we think we are too far gone to be rescued. How could you be too bad to receive what is for the bad?" – David Powlison

Oh, I cringed a bit when I saw this post from pastor Thabiti Anyabwile:

The New IX Marks eJournal: Liberalism

I remember so clearly back in my undergrad years, the first conversations I had, the first books I read, the first sermons I ever heard that claimed to be “Christian,” but defined Christian in such a radically different way than I had ever heard before that I literally gasped. And grieved.

Then I learned more and more about systematic theology and and church history and, well, I gasped. And grieved.

Read and learn.
Read and pray!

Yours,
Tara B.

PS
And just because I am, apparently, unable to have a blog post these days that doesn’t like to something off of Challies.com, and I don’t want to only mention something hard/deep to start your day ...

I encourage you to check this out if you’d like to start your day with a chuckle:

Top Fifteen Signs Your Sermon Isn’t Going Well

And this pithy summary from TakeYourVitaminZ of what I have to say I would LOVE to see people adopt in internet exchanges:

Top 5 Ways to Lose (and Win!) an Argument Online

I just had to chuckle as I drove away from our home last night and saw the lights from our pathetic, apparently broken, Christmas tree through the window:



“Perfect,” I thought. “Just perfect. A completely apt representation of this year’s Christmas.”

Sophie and I are apparently hosting some sort of virus, with a relatively high fever for me (hovering around the 102 mark) and days of vomiting for Soph. (Rather than games & treats & family fun, this has pretty much been our view of Sophia for the last few days.)



Things (hopefully) culminated with her having to go on antiemetics and receive I.V. hydration at the doctor’s office on Christmas Eve — all while I tried to comfort her by speaker phone (because we didn’t think it was wise to bring Ella to a clinic and because of my pesky ol' 101.6 fever). Oh, how hard it is to be far away as the Momma as you hear your daughter whimper while trying to be brave as the nurse searches for a vein and says, “Oh, honey, you’re just so dry.” (!!)

But even with its challenges, my overwhelming emotion as I went to bed last night was one of gratitude. Deep, resonant, soul-filling gratitude.

- Yes, I’m a little afraid. But as soon as I started to go down the head-spinning, “What if?!” path of “What if Ella gets this and can’t fight it off and DIES??” I immediately, instead, told myself out loud, “Oh, Tara. Why worry? Does worry add anything to your life? Consider the lilies. You Father knows. There is grace for the day and there will be grace for the day.”

- Sure, it hasn’t been fun to feel so nauseas (weak / cold / hot / shaky), but I bet my friends who are currently fighting cancer would LOVE to have a stomach flu be the worst of their suffering. Ditto on the unpleasantness related to having a sick child. Remember Sophie’s MONTHS of medical crises last year and our two weeks at The Children’s Hospital in Denver?



Dollars to donuts, 99% of the parents in that place would give anything for a flu to be their biggest concern. (Er. Ick. Wish I hadn’t said “donuts.” Talk about QUEASY. My stomach just flopped over. Hey! There’s something else to be grateful for! This will clearly be a less-calorie-filled-holiday for me. )

- Plus, of course it was hard to be away from Soph for those few hours while she suffered at the doctor’s office today. But a) we had access to a clean, stocked, staffed doctor’s facility (how many mothers in the world would give their own LIVES to be able to say that?); and b) Sophie was quickly home and back in my arms. I just can’t stop thinking about how many men and women in the military would give (and, in fact, ARE giving) their very lives to make that possible — all while, time after time, being away from their own sick children. Words fail. They simply fail. I can’t come up with anything that even comes close to communicating my (appreciation? too weak! overwhelming gratitude? doesn’t come close.) love for our military members and their families.

- But mostly? I was overwhelmed as I went to bed (in my flu-riddled, completely disorganized, SO not lovely-for-a-fun-memory-filled-Christmas morning) home by this fact: God the Father sent His Only Son into the world as a helpless babe to live, die, and be raised again for sinners just like me. In fact, for me. He could have left me in my sin. Orphaned. Abandoned. Separated from Home by Adam’s Fall and my own intentional acts. But instead, He gave me Himself. Called me. Softened my heart. Granted me the gifts of repentance and faith. Made me His own and gave me a Home.

Oh, oh oh. Sentimentalism has NOTHING on that. Give me the grit of real life and a Real Savior any day. That’s what I need and that’s what (by God’s grace!), I have.

We’ll see how Christmas Day goes once everyone else starts waking up. Ironically, I had our little gifts wrapped weeks ago and it was super easy to stuff stockings because I had a (nicely organized) box with a post-it on it stating, “For Stockings,” all filled and ready to go weeks ago too. (The irony being, of course, that I seriously doubt Sophie will have the energy to open more than just a couple of presents and I know that neither she nor I will be all that interested in the treats. (I was going to type “yummy treats,” but seriously. Every time I even THINK about food, my stomach just LURCHES. Erlgh.)

Even with all that, I just can’t help but think that this might turn out to be one of my favorite Christmases ever. No major worship-interrupting-piano-clunkers during the church service (even though I felt just about as bad physically as a person can feel and still be sitting upright). Clean water for ice chips once Soph could start keeping down sips of water:



A kind husband. A Golden Retriever who practically climbed up into my lap as once I got home from church and wrapped my six year-old in my arms. Oh, and of course the GIFT of the world’s happiest little baby who simply wants to be held and loved. (And who, one year ago, was making me VERY sick in my first trimester and who I was wondering daily if she would even survive until her second trimester.) Here she is — all plump and wonderful and spilling over with love.

Thank You, God, for not giving me a Folger’s Christmas Commercial life. This is way better and I am —

Gratefully yours,
Tara B.

Sophie and I had a great conversation tonight about what it means to make an accusation, give false testimony, and render a verdict. It sprang out of our Bible reading of the night Jesus was betrayed and then all of the (bribed) false witnesses began to appear before the judges with their contradictory and inaccurate testimonies.

To help her to understand WHY lying so often contradicts itself, I laid out the basic pieces of a criminal court situation (prosecutor, accused, defender/advocate, judge, jury, evidence/witnesses) and then we came up with all sorts of interesting hypotheticals:

"Judge, Judge! Last Monday morning, Jesus was at my home and he STOLE my money." (Witness #1 leaves the presence of the judge and Witness #2 arrives, having not heard what Witness #1 said.)

“Judge, Judge! I know for a FACT that last Monday morning, Jesus beat up and even KILLED a man. Right there in front of my very own eyes.” (Witness #2 leaves, Witness #3 arrives.)

“Judge, Judge! Let me tell you the horrible thing Jesus did last Monday morning ...”

The stories make no sense. They can’t logically be possible. Jesus couldn’t have been in one man’s home AND across town in another man’s home AND in a neighboring village all at the exact same time. But oh! Bribing witnesses doesn’t make them very smart, does it? Rare is the conspiracy that can be maintained for very long. Ever.

(Which is just another great example of the truth of the Resurrection, isn’t it? For one thing, the Romans and the Rules of the Law would have DEFINITELY wanted to PROVE that Jesus didn’t really rise from the dead if they could have. Man Oh Man! But they would’ve found that body and put it on display. If they could have. But of course they couldn’t.

Plus, there were just WAY too many people involved in seeing the empty grave, the post-Resurrection sightings of Jesus, and His ascension into Heaven. They simply could not have made up a story, kept the details straight, and NEVER backed away from the lie—if it had been, in fact, a lie.

In addition, whereas people may sometimes keep a lie for a LONG time to cover their own backs, protect someone they love, or even simply to profit financially ... people don’t DIE for a lie. But history shows that MILLIONS of followers of Jesus (including that initial band of disciples who were the first-hand witnesses) went to their (often horrific, tortuous) graves standing firm on the Truth of His resurrection.)

Reflecting on all of this, I am heading into my day mindful of many things and very, very grateful that:

Though Satan, the world, and even my Old Man accuse me (and accuse me and accuse me); and even though their accusations against ME (unlike the false accusations hurled at Jesus) are actually, shamefully, OFTEN TRUE ... I have an Advocate Who stands before the Judge on my behalf.

And this isn’t just any advocate who throws himself between me and the bullet (often the bullet of my own making!). This is the Second Person of the Trinity Who condescended to be made Man so that he could live the life I could never live and suffer the death I deserve.

So false accusations come at me and TRUE accusations come at me. Either way, I can’t lift my head. I can’t breathe in and out. The knife is at my chest and I deserve its fatal thrust of death.

But then my Advocate steps between the knife and me; death and me; what I deserve and me. And He says, “Who brings this accusation against my daughter?”

And what can Satan say in reply? What can people say against me? Even my own (quick to condemn myself!) flesh—what words can I come up with as I look at the beaten, bloodied, nail-pierced, spear-pierced, spat-upon Son of God? HE states that the punishment has been fully paid. The verdict of GUILTY is true, but dealt with.

And the justice of God will never condemn ME for something that His Son has ALREADY paid for.

So there I sit, tempted to despair over my sin. ("Will I NEVER get over this sin?!?") Accusations SWIRLING in my heart and mind.

And I remember the truth of the gospel: If someone wants to accuse me and condemn me, then they need to go through Jesus first. And who could stand when He appeareth? Not I. Not I. I will fall down in worship and gratitude. I will weep or laugh or, well, I just don’t know.

But this I DO know: I will not be crushed by my sin because the Son of God was crushed on my behalf.

Alleluia and Amen. (Let it be. It is so.)
Selah. (Think about this. Take a moment to think about all of this. Drink it in.)

May God help us to live what we believe—

Gratefully,
Tara B.

PS
Ray Ortlund posted a beautiful John Bunyan quote over on his blog that expresses this too:

"One day as I was passing in the field, and that too with some dashes on my conscience, fearing lest all was still not right, suddenly this sentence fell upon my soul, Your righteousness is in heaven. And I thought as well that I saw, with the eyes of my soul, Jesus Christ at God’s right hand. There, I say, is my righteousness, so that wherever I was or whatever I was doing, God could not say of me, he lacks my righteousness, for that was just before Him. I also saw that it was not my good frame of heart that made my righteousness better, nor my bad frame that made my righteousness worse, for my righteousness was Jesus Christ Himself, the same yesterday and today and forever.

Now did my chains fall off my legs indeed. . . . I went home rejoicing for the grace and love of God. . . . Here I lived for some time, very sweetly at peace with God through Christ. Oh, I thought, Christ! Christ! There was nothing but Christ before my eyes."

John Bunyan, Grace Abounding (Philadelphia, 1859), page 75, edited slightly

I received a sweet email today from someone from my past who reconnected with me because of my blog, and I thought one of you might be even a tiny bit encouraged by my response to her.

She talked in her email about “needing to get right with the Lord” and how my blog has helped her to remember that even the people who can SEEM like they have such happy ("perfect") lives, struggle too.

Here is my (edited / identifying information removed / slightly altered to hide some facts) reply:

It’s so nice to hear from you! I’m very glad that my blog is even a tiny encouragement to you. And please don’t worry about being a stalker! In blog-lingo, people who read but never post are called LURKERS. And most blogs with any level of readership have a bunch. You’re always welcome at the blog!



And I’ve prayed for your heart this morning, too, especially regarding your faith in the finished work of Christ and your relationship with the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Surely, a right relationship with God based not on our performance but on Christ IS the most important thing in all of life. So please know that I did pray for you.

I also wanted to encourage you to check out an inexpensive little book (if you like to read) called, “The Prodigal God” by T. Keller. It’s a great book, especially for when we all feel distant from God and tired of trying to “be good.” It really explains Scripture in a way that makes sense, is God-centered, and HELPFUL. Might make a nice Christmas gift if someone was asking what you might like ...

Hope you can get some rest today after such a long shift! Thanks for all you do to serve your community. I can’t imagine how hard it would be to have your job. A few years ago, Fred and I were in a pretty desperate state financially and I spent a few months doing some secretarial work at an office here in Billings in the “rough part of town.” OH MY STARS but there were so many people in such complicated troubles with so many needs. I can’t imagine everything you encounter on a normal day in your job.

God bless you! And thanks again for writing.

Yours,
Tara B.

PS
You are so wise re: how we never really know just how hard another person’s life is. Now that I’m only 40, and having lived the life I live with the experiences I’ve had, this I know for 100% sure ... EVERYONE has suffering. Everyone. Even (especially?) the wealthy. Even the “looks so happy” married couple. Skinny people. Fat people. People with children. People who can’t have children.

Life in a fallen world is HARD.

That’s why we need to submit to membership in a local church that is faithful to the Bible and that humbly and winsomely preaches the Word, administers the sacraments, helps us to worship and pray, and loves us enough to discipline us / hold us accountable / help us to grow.

If you’re not already a member of a local church, I hope you will pray, seek counsel, make a wise decision, and join one soon. We’re just not meant to live apart from the church.

PPS
Hey! I’ve been in a little bit of a blue place (hah! understatement) and not blogging lately, so I think I’ll take out ALL identifying information from this email and post it IF that’s OK with you. (i.e., if you see ANYTHING that even comes close to tying my blog post to you, PLEASE just email me and I will IMMEDIATELY delete it.)

Maybe it will be a small encouragement to another person too. Hope so. Thanks again for writing!

I have to admit that I was startled in our poetry time this morning when I read to Sophia the last four lines of John Bunyan’s classic, “The Child and the Bird.”

(If you’re not familiar with this poem, I encourage you to scroll down to the bottom of this page and read it now. I’d hate to be a spoiler for you when it comes to such powerful, elegant writing.)

All along, as I’m reading the poem to Sophia, I’m assuming that the bird will LISTEN to the call and respond with FAITH. After all:

- Who wouldn’t want to be adorned with love and honor?

- Who doesn’t feel “of little value” and who doesn’t long to be valued supremely? (So highly valued that the Son of Glory would condescend to become Man and die a sinner’s death on our behalf.)

- Don’t you want to be tucked into a bosom and kept warm from the storms of life? Covered in finest silk and kept safe from the cold?

- With the eternal Spring of a Home in His Father’s palace?

Who could resist? Who could resist?

Ah! So many just fly away. Reject the call and flee.

"But lo, behold, the bird is gone!
These charmings would not make her yield;
The child’s left at the bush alone,
The bird flies yonder o'er the field."

As my arms flooded with goosebumps and I realized the depth of theology I was reading, Sophie asked me to explain it to her too. And so we turned to Matthew 18 and we read about the prideful squabbling amongst his disciples ("Which one of US is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven, Jesus?!") and the glorious truth that Jesus taught them ("This little child. Utterly dependent on ME. The CHILD is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven.").

And we talked about how the wisdom of God is foolishness to those who are perishing; but to those who are being saved? It is life and light and truth.

Then we closed our time by praying for childlike hearts that love Jesus more than anything and anyone else in all the world. We prayed that we would be like the child (who hears the call of the Lord and responds with saving faith) and NOT like the bird that flits away, attracted and distracted by the next glittery bauble that this world has to offer.

Thank You, Lord, for great poets! It’s so refreshing to be genuinely surprised and edified by the gifts of Your people.

Gratefully,
Tara B.

I am rereading (and enjoying thoroughly) Eugene Peterson’s “Traveling Light: Meditations on St. Paul’s Letter of Freedom”.

(Thanks again, Pastor Bostrom, for the wonderful gift of this book for our family!)

My current chapter is on Galatians 6:11-18:

"See with what large letters I am writing to you with my own hand. It is those who want to make a good showing in the flesh who would force you to be circumcised, and only in order that they may not be persecuted for the cross of Christ. For even those who are circumcised do not themselves keep the law, but they desire to have you circumcised that they may boast in your flesh. But far be it from me to boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world. For neither circumcision counts for anything, nor uncircumcision, but a new creation. And as for all who walk by this rule, peace and mercy be upon them, and upon the Israel of God.

From now on let no one cause me trouble, for I bear on my body the marks of Jesus.

The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit, brothers. Amen."

There are so many rich nuggets of truth and sweet reminders in this chapter that I simply could not write them all.

But one paragraph stands out above all the rest. I simply can’t get it out of my mind (which is great in some ways but makes it a little hard to sleep):

"Paul does not glory in Jesus' walking on the water, showing himself Lord of creation.

Paul does not glory in Jesus' calling Lazarus from the tomb, showing himself Lord over death.

Paul does not glory in Jesus' teaching the beatitudes, showing himself a master truth-teller.

Paul does not glory in Jesus' touching the leper, showing himself the compassionate healer.

He knows all those things and appreciates them. His life of faith is enriched by them. But he glories in the crucifixion. His boast is that God in Jesus entered the stuff of our everyday existence where the lights and shadows mingle, where our good intentions and evil impulses vie for ascendancy, where hope struggles with despair, where men try their best and give up, where all ends in ugliness and injustice, where life is not fair, where things don’t work out for the best.

Paul doesn’t boast of a God glorious in the heavens, untouched by the mess and confusion and ambiguity of our history. He doesn’t assemble sonorous, multisyllabled lists of God’s attributes and boast that no Greek or Roman or Egyptian god has half the qualities. No. “Far be in from me to glory except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

Amen, amen, and amen.

I just can’t stop thinking about this. Thank You, God!

Blessings to you and yours—
Tara B.

We are almost done with our women’s study on 1 & 2 Thessalonians ("Living the Gospel to the End" by Kathleen Buswell Nielson—if you’re not familiar with all of her excellent, gospel-centered, rigorous Bible studies, I encourage you to get to know them!) ...

And I have to say, I am much more mindful of Christ’s imminent return than I was before we began the study.

Still, this quote from the IX Marks blog set me back on my heels simply because of the depth of love and devotion to Christ (and confidence in the Lord!) that it reflected:

"I do not think in the last forty years I have lived one conscious hour that was not influenced by the thought of our Lord’s return." Anthony Ashley Cooper, 7th Earl of Shaftesbury

Simply astounding, don’t you think?

Oh, that I would move in that direction in my thinking and living ...

I continue to praise God for the ministry of Ajith Fernando and his family! Truly, he is a mighty man of a God; a churchman in the truest sense of the word. And every time I receive a prayer request / update / praise report from him, I am blessed.

Like the current one he sent with an “aside” on the importance of inductive Bible study. Oh, friends! This little three-page article is SO worth the read and I would be happy to send it to you if you simply email me and request it. (Don’t forget! I will NEVER give your email address or contact information to ANYONE. This is just between you, me, and the Excel spreadsheet I type into as I hold and nurse Eleanor on her boppy—as I am doing at this very moment.)

I want to particularly encourage you to request and read this article if you’ve had a hard time digging deep into God’s Word lately. It is SO helpful and encouraging, and convicting too.

Let me tempt you with just a snippet:

"INDUCTIVE BIBLE STUDY
by Ajith Fernando

I was once teaching a week-long course to some first generation Christians active in Christian ministry on how to study the Bible and use it in ministry. I found that many of my students were latching on to an inspiring thought from the passages we were studying, forgetting the context in which that thought appears and ultimately missing out on the message of the passage …

One of the students in this class asked me how one can read the difficult passages in the prophets without giving up out of boredom. As I thought about it, I realised that these passages are boring to some because there aren’t many of the “inspiring” thoughts in those passages which grab their attention and they latch on to. Instead, what we have is a message from God, burning in the prophet’s mind, which he wants to communicate to his audience. If we look for that message, we will find many very helpful insights into the mind of God …

That is the message we must labour to discover.

The best way I know of getting at the main thrust of a passage and gleaning things we would otherwise miss is inductive Bible study … I can describe inductive study using two statements:

- Sitting with the attitude of a child: “I want to learn what God, my Father, has caused to be written in this passage to make me strong and grow.”

- Looking with the skill of a detective—I do not want to miss any evidence in my search for what this passage really says, what it means, implies and tells me regarding my behaviour.

Usually inductive Bible study is divided into three steps: Observation, interpretation and application.

One of the many benefits of inductive study is that you begin to relish Bible study …

Discovering biblical truth does not only give the short term thrill that the solving of a mystery gives—it is gives life, it feeds the eternal joy that God has given us, it helps us to be molded to what we were made to be—individuals conformed to the image of Christ. When we are what we were made to be, we have the shalom that God gives—his peace, his wholeness and his health. The basic thirst of life is gone as we drink of the living water. The basic hunger of life is gone as we taste and see that the Lord is good and feed on the Bread of life."

Amen & Amen!

This is one of the reasons why I was so happy that women’s study started back up at our church this fall. Hooray for systematically studying Scripture! And thank God for the grace and freedom to do so. (A little shout-out to our troops and chaplains (and their families!) there and a reminder to please keep them all in your prayers.)

Off into our day now–

All the best,
Tara B.

BrittleCrazyGlass has a great post on God’s character that I encourage you to check out:

God says to the__, “I am your _”

Consider just a few of her insights:

To the prideful and doubtful, God says, “I am your confidence” (Exod 3)

To the fearful, God says, “I am your salvation” (Exod 14:10-14)

To the grumbling, God says, “I am your satisfaction” (Exod 16)

To the confused, God says, “I am your LORD, and your standard” (Exod 17)

To the discouraged, God says, “You are my treasured possession” (Exod 19:5)

To the sinful and disobedient, God says, “I am your Holy God” (Exod 19)

To the idolaters, God says, “I am your atonement” (Exod 32:30)

To the stiff-necked, God says, “I am your merciful one” (Exod 33:5)

To the tempted, God says, “I am your better option” (Exod 34:10-16

Thanks, Molly, for reminding us of these precious, life-giving, God-centered truths. (And so sorry your Visa didn’t come through this week for your teaching in India! I was praying.)

Sending love from the 2AM feeding and cuddle time with Ella Bella—

Yours,
Tara B.

Out of the blue yesterday afternoon, Sophia Grace (age 5) turned to me and said something to the effect of:

"Don’t you think it’s STRANGE, Mom, that God sent Jesus as a tiny BABY rather than as a Mighty King?"

She said it with so much passion that I knew I was in for a treat of a conversation. And I was. It went something like this:

"I do think it’s strange, dear, that God sent Jesus as a tiny helpless baby. Just think about it, Jesus CREATED the very trees that provided the wood for His manger; and yet, there he lay, just like Ella. He was a vulnerable, helpless, little newborn baby."

“Exactly!” exclaimed Sophia. “He could have come with all of His angels and been big and strong and powerful!” (Please try to picture the arm swinging, fists clenched in mighty-power-ness body language that accompanied Sophia’s words. Classic.)

“Yes,” I replied, “That sure seems like it would’ve made a lot more sense. A big, strong, powerful, wealthy KING who conquers everyone and just TAKES OVER.”

(And so I asked ...) "Why do YOU think God had to send Jesus as a tiny baby?"

“Isn’t it because Jesus didn’t just want to win a battle, like a war, with people’s OUTSIDES. He wanted to win their HEARTS. And the only way that could happen is if He was born as a tiny baby, lived a PERFECT life, and then when HE died, WE could be forgiven. Because the people didn’t know it, but they killed Jesus even though He never ever did anything wrong.”

Exactly.

Her comments reminded me of what I’ve been reading in Jeremiah lately. How the people looked for a powerful political leader to right the wrongs and establish a mighty nation; or a military leader to defeat their enemies; or a King to give them back a clearly-defined piece of land to call their own.

But God had (and has) something WAY bigger in mind. His love and power do not combine to win a battle or establish a mere boundary line.

"Behold, the days are coming, declares the Lord, when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and the house of Judah, not like the covenant that I made with their fathers on the day when I took them by the hand to bring them out of the land of Egypt, my covenant that they broke, though I was their husband, declares the Lord. But this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days, declares the Lord: I will put my law within them, and I will write it on their hearts. And I will be their God, and they shall be my people." Jeremiah 31:31-33

Alleluia!

And blessings on your Monday—

Yours,
Tara B.

I am SO grateful that Fred made a way for me to be at church today. Initially, I thought I would have to miss—again, which is very unlike me—because I simply can’t sit with my leg down for more than a few minutes without a LOT of pain. I do great walking around and I’m fine if it’s elevated while sitting, but trying to sit up through a 90 minute church service while holding a newborn? It just didn’t seem possible.

But Fred made me a little “nest” in the cry room (replete with a chair and pillow for my bum leg, a boppy, my Maya Wrap, and, oh yes, Ella Marie) and I was able to enjoy not only a fantastic sermon by one of our seminary students, but also some sweet fellowship here and there with other moms.

Here are two of the highlights from my morning:

1. A dear friend, for whom I have been praying for MONTHS about the sale of their house and the possible purchase of another house; schooling changes for the kids, etc., mentioned how she was struck recently by how easy it is for her to PLAN (and plan and organize and plan some more), rather than to TRUST GOD. Yes, planning is good and wise—but at some point, we cross a line wherein, as she put it, "It almost feels irresponsible to just trust Him." Isn’t that a great insight? I was struck by her words! (And by her godly, faithful response of repentance once she realized what she had been doing.)

God used this friend to give me a gentle, loving reminder that when I cross that line (and begin trusting my PLANNING rather than trusting HIM), I am called to repent. Oh, and remember that HE truly is my Gentle Shepherd, Victorious King, Forgiving Father. He provides as HE deems best.

2. Our seminary intern, Shane Waldron, preached from Colossians 2, and as I thought he might, he used a “new dad” illustration (because he and his wife just had their first child a few months ago). The thing is? His illustration was PROFOUND. I can’t do it justice, so I encourage you to pop over to our church’s website and listen to the sermon yourself some day. (I think they put the sermons online on Mondays, but I’m not 100% sure about that.)

The gist of the illustration is that on their way driving to Billings, their newborn had her absolute WORST BLOW OUT COMPLETELY AWFUL DIAPER MISHAP EVER. It was a mess and it was everywhere. So there Shane sat, in a parking lot, praying that his box of wipes would hold out and he could get his little girl cleaned up (while, of course, dealing with the vilest of vile smells, nastiness, etc.). And he posed the question to us, "Was there ANY possibility that I would have just LEFT HER THERE? In that horrible mess? Looked at her in disgust and said, ‘Man! You’re AWFUL! What a MESS! You’d better get that cleaned up again and maybe THEN I’ll want to hold you and care for you and love you.’"

Of course not.

Well ... How much more does our Perfect Heavenly Father respond to OUR filth and vileness (sin, addictions, bitterness) with compassion, mercy AND intentional saving grace to deliver us from ourselves? We don’t have to get ourselves “cleaned up” to come to Him. In fact, just like that newborn, we CAN’T POSSIBLY get ourselves cleaned up. We need God. And (thankfully!) He DELIGHTS in forgiving sinners. God takes PLEASURE in loving unlovable people like you and me.

Oh! What a sweet reminder of the true gospel of grace!

It was so great to discuss both of these topics with Sophia over lunch.

In response to Shane’s sermon illustration, she said something to the effect of, “Yep! When God sees us caught in sin (again!), He says, ‘HOLY SPIRIT! GET TO WORK!’ And He does. Right in our HEARTS.” (To which I responded, “Amen & Amen!”)

Jesus is praying for us.
The Holy Spirit is at work in us.
And the Father is loving, forgiving, and rescuing us.

Faith isn’t irresponsible! God truly IS God.
Oh, that we would stop looking for greater satisfaction in something other than Christ.

Blessings to you my friends!

Yours,
Tara B.

I received this timely question from one of my blog readers last week. (I say timely because we had just discussed this very topic as a family—my sister and her Fred, Fred & I—the very day this woman wrote.)

Rather than only email her, I thought I’d post the question and my response here and invite you all to share your thoughts too, if you are so inclined.

Here is her question:

"Dear Tara,

[Personal greeting, etc. ...]

If I remember correctly, your sister is not a Christian. I too have numerous family members who are not believers. Here’s my question: Have you discussed that at all with Sophie? (I realize she is very young for that conversation.) When you talked about comforting her with Heaven being the Eternal Hello, it made me wonder. I dread having any unbelievers in our family die, because I have no idea how I would comfort my kids. Anyway, this post just really got me to thinking.

If this topic is too personal or too painful, I totally understand ...

And my response:

"Dear [name],

What a great question! And timely too. (Kali & Fred & Fred & I were JUST discussing this very topic earlier today.)

Yes, we have discussed Heaven and Hell with Sophia, and in particular in relation to our beloved family members who are not Christians. (Our Catechism work kind of “forced the issue” because there are questions on both the death of Believers and unbelievers; plus, of course, lots of questions on the gospel, how a person is saved by faith, by grace, etc.)

My sister and her Fred are SO supportive of us as parents and SO respectful of our convictions that they have literally offered to PRETEND to be Christians just so Sophie doesn’t have to worry about this issue. But of course we have said, “No way! We love you just the way you are and we would never want you to have to pretend or lie.”

That being said, they do know that our deepest desire is that they would put their faith in the finished work of Christ and be born again. (They have literally said those words to us so I know this is true.) However, they also know that we delight in them and love them and we don’t want them to be anything other than who they are.

Of course, none of us wants Sophie to be overly fearful of her most beloved, dearest friend relatives going to Hell. So this is how we talk about such things:

“Sophie, yes, Heaven and Hell are real. All human beings have souls that will last forever and yes, some people go to Heaven and some people go to Hell. Right now, Uncle Fred and Aunt Kali have said that they do NOT put their faith in Christ and so, yes, they are not Christians. However, we will continue to pray for them and hopefully, one day, they will be saved by God. That is our prayer and we can 100% TRUST GOD that He ALWAYS does the right thing. We don’t have to be afraid. He is holy AND merciful. He knows His children. NOT ONE will be lost.

What about other relatives who have ALREADY died? Well, honey, only God knows their hearts. And again, if they were His children, then they are absolutely 100% no doubt in Heaven right now. Nothing can keep God’s children from Him. Nothing at all. So let’s love God and trust God and focus on Him and His glorious grace, OK? He is such a merciful and good God.”

When we discussed that with Kali and her Fred they both felt that was a fair and accurate reflection of what is true from all of our perspectives—and also that this will hopefully comfort Sophie and not be troubling to her.

Hope this helps!

Really appreciate your email, [name]. I’m not sure I would’ve blogged on this otherwise, but man! I really need to get back to blogging one of these days/weeks.

Feel free to write back if I can help further—only I might be a few days delayed in responding again. THANK YOU for your patience.

Yours,
Tara B.

Thanks, TakeYourVitaminZ, for posting this great Spurgeon quote to remind us all of the gospel:

"The bridge of grace will bear your weight, brother. Thousands of big sinners have gone across that bridge, yea, tens of thousands have gone over it. I can hear their trampings now as they traverse the great arches of the bridge of salvation. They come by the thousands, by their myriads, e’er since that day when Christ first entered His glory.

They come and yet never a stone has sprung in that mighty bridge. Some have been the chief of sinners and some have come at the very last of their days but the arch has never yielded beneath their weight. I will go with them, trusting to the same support. It will bear me over as it has for them."

As our friends were leaving yesterday evening, Soph pretty much had a 4:30PM meltdown.

(Do your children ever have those? Do you? As true introverts, Sophia and I do. All the time. Even though most people THINK are extroverts because of how we can come across in group settings, the truth is that we both hit an emotional WALL where it is really, really hard to persevere in being friendly, gentle, and kind around PEOPLE. Of course, personality/temperament should NEVER be used as an excuse for SIN (rudeness, anti-social and unfriendly meanness). But it sure has been helpful to learn more about our tendencies so that we can be better prepared in how we respond. Especially when we are FRIED / PEOPLED-OUT.)

Anyway ... Sophie was very rude in her meltdown and I told her to go and have a seat inside while I said goodbye to our friends. She (understandably) assumed she would have a discipline when I got there. But instead, when I got back in the house, I just wrapped her in my arms (yes, we can still cuddle if we are VERY strategic in where she puts most of her weight so that Ella and I aren’t completely squished), tucked her under a blanket, stroked her hair, and kissed and kissed her.

She was surprised to say the least.

"I thought I was going to have a discipline!" she said.

“Yes, you surely deserve discipline, Soph. But I decided, instead, just to cuddle with you and love you and give you MERCY.”

(Silence. Silence.)

“Because I started to be good again?” she asked.

(Which was funny because, of course, she HADN’T started to be good again. But you could see her trying to figure out the WORKS-REASON behind my mercy. Don’t we all do this? “What GOOD thing have I done to DESERVE this?” "WHY are we receiving mercy now? It must be because we DESERVE IT, right?" Ahhhhh ... but mercy is never deserved. That’s what makes it mercy!)

“No, sweetheart. You haven’t started being good again. I’m not giving you mercy because of something you’ve done or haven’t done. I’m giving you mercy because JESUS gives ME so much mercy. Every day. He is so compassionate and gracious to me that I am being compassionate and gracious to you.”

(Silence. Silence. And then the tears started to fall.)

“But I’m still all ugly and angry in my heart.”

“I know. I understand. We all have very ugly and angry hearts at times.”

“But I’m SO BAD that I don’t think I should even BE in our family. Or in GOD’S FAMILY.”

"AHHHHH. Yes. But here’s the GREAT NEWS, Sophia. Here is THE Good News ... It doesn’t matter how you feel. It doesn’t matter how bad you think you are. There is absolutely, 100%, NOTHING you can do to stop my love for you or God’s love for you and NOTHING you can ever do to not be in our family and in God’s family."

“But I don’t FEEL like I can be forgiven.”

“I understand. Feelings are very strong. But let’s remember TRUTH. How do you know what is TRUE?”

“The Bible.”

“Right. And what does the Bible say?”

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness ...”

“EXACTLY. So, is God a liar?”

“No.”

“Is the Bible full of lies?”

“No.”

“In this very moment, which are you going to put your faith in ... your feelings or the TRUTH?”

“Truth.”

(And so we kept on cuddling away ...)

Oh that we would all believe God’s Word more than our feelings!

"For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:38-39

Blessings on your Friday–

Yours,
Tara B.

I haven’t blogged about reading through Calvin’s Institutes for awhile (probably because I’m SO behind in my “read through the Institutes in a year” plan).

(BTW—Do you think an exhausted, drugged from surgery new mom could possibly hold up that giant book and read/catch up in the hospital recovering from a c-section? Probably not, I’m thinkin'.)

But today I was reading in Hall and Lillback’s “A Theological Guide to Calvin’s Institutes” and quotes like these have thoroughly enticed me to get back in the saddle and continue reading the actual Institutes, even though I’m so behind schedule for reading through them in one year:

"Yet we must not understand that Christ fell under a curse that overwhelmed him; rather—in taking the curse upon himself—he crushed, broke, and scattered its whole force. Hence faith apprehends an acquittal in the condemnation of Christ, a blessing in his curse. Paul with good reason, therefore, magnificently proclaims the triumph that Christ obtained for himself on the cross, as if the cross, which was full of shame, had been changed into a triumphant chariot [Col. 2:14-15]!"

“Briefly, he alone is a true believer, who convinced by a firm conviction that God is a kindly and well-disposed Father toward him, promises himself all things on the basis of his generosity; who, relying upon the promises of divine benevolence toward him, lays hold on an undoubted expectation of salvation ...” [3.2.16]

Just one more quote from Dr. Dan Doriani’s fantastic book, Putting the Truth to Work: The Theory and Practice of Biblical Application:

"Pastors need integrity, but we never have enough integrity to merit the trust of our auditors. I think again of the four aspects of application—duty, character, goals, and vision—and rue our perversion of all four.

Duties? We fail to discharge them, but when we do, we bloat with self-righteousness.

Character? We fail to appropriate the new nature we have in Christ, but when we do, we puff with pride at our virtue.

Goals? We dissipate our energies in the ephemeral and frivolous. Then, when we do find a noble task, we fail to enlist enough allies to make the work strong.

Vision? We are half blind, but when we do see aright, we prostitute the vision by dreaming about the way others will revere us when they hear our precious insights.

Behind in all, we realize we will never know God and conform ourselves to him. If we focus on our attainment, the situation looks worse than we thought. But if we focus on the Lord, who graciously makes himself known to us and conforms us to himself, it may be better than we dare to dream."

I’ve been greatly enjoying my re-read this week of Dr. Dan Doriani’s wonderful book, Putting the Truth to Work: The Theory and Practice of Biblical Application.

If you’ve ever wondered about how to interpret and apply certain “difficult” passages of Scripture, I commend this scholarly-level, yet imminently readable book to you. It is fantastic (and I continue to be a Dr. Doriani junkie! totally makes me wish I could go to seminary one day ...).

I could quote the entire work to you, but let me tempt you with just two excerpts from Chapter 12 ("Christ-Centered Application") and Chapter 11 ("Issues in Application of Ethical Texts" — this chapter is actually the reason I picked up this book for a re-read this week; I wanted to review the chapter because of an ethical case study I read over the weekend):

(From Chapter 12 ...)

“I cannot forget the Sunday night when, at twenty-one, I spoke in the church pastored by my future father-in-law. In a quest to reform my own speech, I had found dozens of verses on the topic of speech, strung them together, and slung them at the congregation for thirty minutes. I sat down, flush with excitement over all the good commands I had presented. But when my father-in-law stood up before closing the service, he said more than a little about Jesus' mercy for those who misuse words. I began to protest silently, thinking, ”All this talk of Jesus' mercy is undercutting my message. He’s making it sound as if we don’t really need to keep the law."

I was thinking as (what I now call) a "class-four-legalist."

Class-one legalists are autosoterists; they declare what one must do in order to obtain God’s favor or salvation. The rich young ruler was a class-one legalist.

Class-two legalists declare what good deeds or spiritual disciplines one must perform to retain God’s favor and salvation.

Class-three legalists love the law so much they create new laws, laws not found in Scripture, and require submission to them. The Pharisees, who built fences around the law, were class-three legalists.

Class-four legalists avoid these gross errors, but they so accentuate obedience to the law of God that other ideas shrivel up. They reason, “God has redeemed us at the cost of his Son’s life. Now he demands our service in return. He has given us his Spirit and a new nature and has stated his will. He has given us his Spirit and a new nature and has stated his will. With these resources, we obey his law in gratitude for our redemption. This is our duty to God.”

In an important way this is true, but class-four legalists dwell on the law of God until they forget the love of God. Worshiping, delighting in, communing with, and conforming to God are forgotten.

Class-four legalists can preach sermons in which every sentence is true, while the whole is oppressive. It is oppressive to proclaim Christ as the Lawgiver to whom we owe a vast debt, as if we must somehow repay him—repay God!—for his gifts to us. I count myself a member of the legion of recovering class-four legalists. We slide into a “Just Do It” mentality occasionally, dispensing commands just because they are right ..."

(From Chapter 11 ...)

"This chapter develops an earlier claim (chap. 6) that Christians can present duties and give concrete guidance without descending into legalism. Whereas narrative reaches the imagination and doctrine shapes the mind, law addresses the will, with principles that govern the sweep of life and with rules that govern many of its specifics. In telling us how to live, the law inescapably presents our sin, which we can describe as the gap between our aspirations and our capacity or as the chasm between God’s holiness and our unrighteousness.

In itself, the law is good. It provides guidance. Further, the law never simply says, “Do as God says” or “Be as God is.” Before God gave the law, he redeemed Israel. Before Jesus gave commands, he called disciples to himself. Thus God’s desire for a filial relationship with us causes him to reveal his will to us. The law spells out the way of love between God and humanity and between one person and another. The law describes God’s nature. By obeying it, we conform ourselves to him, achieve our identity, and find his blessing."

CJ Mahanney recently posted on The Gospel and Personal Criticism and I encourage you to take a few minutes to read the entire article.

In it, he quotes both Martin Luther and Professor Carl Trueman (whose words “merge” to use Pastor Mahaneey’s term):

"Luther knew what temptation looked like; he knew his own wickedness; but he also knew the all-surpassing perfection and grace of Christ.

So, in closing, I want to thank my blog critics, the crass, the colourful, the profane, and the plain old crazy, for helping me to understand better my sin and my Saviour. You think I’m arrogant? You should talk to my wife: she could fill you in on just how arrogant I really am. You think I’m ruthless and cold? Believe me, you don’t know where half of the bodies are buried. You think I’m a weak and spineless girlyman? Hey, you don’t know nearly the extent of my cowardice. You think I’m an inveterate street fighter? Bring it on. If someone will hold my coat, why go out onto the street? We can finish this right here and right now.

But you know what? My Saviour knows the full depth of all my sleaziness, my sin, and my moral insanity, and has covered by his blood all these crimes you allege against me. Indeed, he has covered many more and much worse; and your reminders of my sinfulness and my need of him are most gratefully received."

Reminds me of my pastor’s article, The Cross and Criticism (by Rev. Dr. Alfred Poirier).

I think I’ll go and have a re-read now ...

How blessed I am to have the joy of going through The Prodigal God with a group of women this summer.

This tiny book is packed with so many wonderful truths! Not only am I learning, I am also being reminded of so many things that I have been taught in the past, but, well, I am so prone to easily forget.

(My theology can sure be “solid” on paper or bouncing around my head, but when conflicts come? When I am betrayed, attacked, or offended by someone? YEEP! So often my theology can just FLY right on out the window and I can be sorely tempted to respond in the flesh; just like an unbeliever.)

Take yesterday as a case in point ...

Even though my energy level was eight-months-pregnant-LOW, I had been working extremely hard to pack us up for a little trip AND process all of the orders from our Peacemakers-is-SO-amazingly-GENEROUS Screamin' June-Only-SALE, and I was just about to leave for the women’s study, when I received both a disturbing email and voicemail (from the same person).

It wouldn’t be appropriate to go into any details, but suffice it to say that this person is extremely important in our family’s life and I/we only want to ever honor and BLESS this person. And based on the two messages, we had completely failed in both regards.

I was SO upset. I was shaking (adrenaline is a powerful drug). My heart was racing (made me very concerned for in utero Ella Marie). My mind was spinning and what I really wanted to do was go and hide in a corner ... but instead, I “had to” (really? GOT TO!) go and facilitate this women’s study.

We started with a sweet time of getting to know one another and prayer—and I did ask for prayer for a relational conflict that I JUST learned about that I would have to be dealing with as soon as the study dismissed. I was visibly shaken and the women were very gracious and encouraging and did pray for me.

And then we jumped into the study. We read the parable again. We started with a review of the teachings so far. And then we took some time to unpack the difference between law and gospel:

The gospel can be broadly understood as the entire redemptive work of God in Christ and more narrowly understood as the indicative—Who God is and what He has already done for us in Christ.

The law is prescriptive; the imperative—what we ought, should, or must do.

Our discussion then turned to just how prone we all are to live by the law / by works. It’s just so much “easier” in the short-term to follow a bunch of RULES than it is to live by the gospel and breathe grace day-by-day, moment-by-moment.

("OK. My skirt needs to by “X" inches below my knee? Got it. No problem.” VERSUS “What does it mean for me to live MODESTLY? To love my neighbor by considering how my dress is affecting him? Hmmmmm ....”)

AND THEN, one of the women asked a great question, but one that I wasn’t 100% sure I wanted to think about right then:

"Tara, what does the gospel have to do with THIS situation? This conflict that you are currently facing? How does the fact that Jesus was incarnate, lived a perfect life, died in your place, and rose again from the dead HELP YOU right now? Today? In 2009 in Billings, Montana?"

Ummmmmmmm.
Good question.
GREAT question.

Really—the only question for all of life, don’t you think?

(As a quick aside, it reminded me of a teaching point our pastor made in a sermon years ago ... he cited a survey that showed that a large percentage of college students actually believed that Jesus DID rise from the dead; that He WAS resurrected. They just didn’t think it had any relevance to their lives. “So what?” was their overwhelming response.)

What does the gospel have to do with REAL LIFE?

- God is real (not a myth made up by man). He always has been and He always will be. He created everything that ever was and He sustains it all with perfect sovereignty. Therefore, this conflict I was facing, though a shock to me at 12:50 on a Wednesday afternoon, was not a surprise to God.

- God is good. He is loving. And He promises in His Word to ALWAYS work all things together for His glory and my good. Therefore, I can trust Him even in this scary conflict that tempts me to run away / give up / hide OR defend myself / attack / hurt the other person.

- I am His child. He cares for me. He is the Good Shepherd. He protects me. He is my loving Father. He helps me to grow and mature. He is sanctifying me and conforming me more to the image of His Son. Therefore, I do not have to fear. Instead, I can face this (painful! scary! difficult!) situation knowing that ultimately, I am safe and secure as His daughter and He will use whatever happens for His redemptive, good purposes.

- Oh, and the gospel is for the other person too! Because, as if often the case in the Christian life, this conflict I was facing was with ANOTHER CHRISTIAN. Yeep! So all of the promises of God in Christ that I just listed above? Well, they are for the other person too.

You know, as soon as I began to even THINK about the TRUTH (rather than giving into my fears and feelings), my heart rate began to slow. I didn’t have any solutions, but my fears began to subside.

Remembering the truths of the gospel—Who God is and all that He has already done for me in Christ—turned my heart away from false worship of ME, to right worship of God.

No, I wasn’t looking FORWARD to working through the conflict. But I wasn’t dreading it either.

(Oh, and just to let you know, we were able to work through things, at least preliminarily, rather graciously yesterday afternoon. So that is a huge praise! And our little trip is off to a much better start than it would’ve been if the conflict were still revving at a high pitch this morning. Grace grace grace.)

Hope this little “case study” is encouraging to you, even in some small way.

Sending you my love!

Yours,
Tara B.

Yesterday I started reading Tim Keller’s, "The Prodigal God."

Before I began, I assumed it would be edifying and I would learn/grow. But having made it through just over half of the book in one long afternoon of combined childcare and reading, I have to say that I have also been tremendously blessed. And I am looking forward to finishing the rest of the book and discussing it in our women’s study that will meet this summer.

(We’re having a brief women’s study May 27 - July 8 ... right up until the time when Ella Marie should be, Lord willing, making her arrival. So if you’re in the Billings area and can join us on Wednesdays from 1:00-2:30, please drop me a note and let me know! We are praying in particular for our friends who do not yet know the Lord—that this study will be (Lord willing!) a safe, warm, fun, and accurate presentation of the real gospel and that we will all love each other well.)

My intention when I started this post was to summarize some of the main ideas/thoughts/questions that I wrote in the margins of the book. But after taking the time to watch and post the video (below) — which I hope you will watch too! — and hearing Sophia moving around upstairs, I think I’m going to have to keep this brief.

So here are just a few, relatively random thoughts from my notes:

- “One of the signs that you may not grasp the unique, radical nature of the gospel is that you are certain that you do.”

- The term ‘prodigal’ does not mean wayward, but reckless. To spend until you have nothing left. The father’s welcome to the repentant son was literally reckless because he refused to “reckon” or count his sin against him or demand repayment.

- If your view of “The Parable of the Prodigal Son” only focuses on “God’s unconditional love,” then you have a sentimental view of this parable and you are missing out on the heart of its teaching.

(This is a particularly strong point for both Fred and me because as we’ve discussed this book we’ve also discussed how most children’s books, Sunday school lessons for little children, picture Bibles, etc. focus EXCLUSIVELY on the younger brother. But it’s so good (and easy! kids see it right away!) to help children to see the parallels between the older brother’s response and the Pharisees’ response–and our OWN responses–too.)

- When the younger brother asks for his inheritance, he is asking the father to tear his life apart. “And the father does so, for the love of his son ... The father endures a tremendous loss of honor as well as the pain of rejected love. Ordinarily when our love is rejected we get angry, retaliate, and do what we can to diminish our affection for the rejection person so we won’t hurt so much. But this father maintains his affection for his son and bears the agony.”

- The elder brother also disgraces the father. And the father again responds with amazing tenderness.

- Jesus uses the younger and elder brothers to portray the two basic ways people try to find happiness and fulfillment: the way of MORAL CONFORMITY and the way of SELF-DISCOVERY. Both of these approaches are much more alike than they first appear. And both are wrong. Jesus' parable illustrates the radical alternative.

- The prerequisite for receiving the grace of God is to know you need it.

(Can’t even write that last line without starting to sing, “This He gives you! This He gives you! Listen to the Savior’s voice.”)

Much, much more to process about this jam-packed, accessible, well-written, engaging little book.
But now it’s time for me to feed my precious daughter and head into our day.

Praying for the grace to turn away from my elder brother-ish tendencies–

Yours,
Tara B.

TakeYourVitaminZ posted this video and I urge you to take six minutes and watch it:



(More information at Clayton’s Story.)

TakeYourVitaminZ had a great post on living the gospel in your daily life that I encourage you to check out:

Simplified Missional Living

It’s convicting, to be sure, but not condemning. Just helpful.

Hope you enjoy!
– tkb

Wow! You don’t want to miss this!

Live Webcast of The Gospel Coalition 2009 National Conference – Entrusted with the Gospel

Many of my favorite preachers (and even a few of my all-time favorite heroes of the faith) are speaking:

- Ajith Fernando
- Tim Keller
- Phil Ryken
- Bryan Chappell
- D. A. Carson

Click through and enjoy (learn! be edified! be called to worship!).

Yours,
Tara B.

This past weekend, I had the joy of reflecting on how COMFORTING it can be to meditate on God’s JUSTICE.

Does that sound counterintuitive?
Aren’t we supposed to be afraid of God’s justice?

Not if we are Christians.

You see–the Bible makes it perfectly clear that, for God’s children, His justice and punitive wrath (which we fully deserve!) were completely spent on Christ on the Cross.

God punished His Son. He will not punish us.
We deserve His wrath, but He will not condemn us.

Why? Because God is a Just God.

I deserve death, but instead I get life because the Son of God paid my penalty.
I don’t have to fear God’s condemnation or punishment–He convicts His children, but He never condemns His children.

Why? Because God is a Just God. (Oh, yes, and a MERCIFUL One too!)

This fact is comforting me today.

Grace to you, my friends—

Yours,
Tara B.

Can’t remember if this is from the Sonship materials or “When People are Big and God is Small” ...

But here are four signs of the fear of man:

1. I want credit for the good I do.
2. I am defensive.
3. I compare myself with others.
4. Reputation fixation—I want my performance to prove my righteousness.

Eek! Makes you grateful for the Cross, eh?

(A little Canadian “eh” thrown in there in honor of my cross-cultural day today. )

TakeYourVitaminZ linked to a fantastic teaching by one of my favorite seminary professors, Dr. Dan Doriani:

The Life and Teachings of Jesus

I encourage you to check it out!

Pastor Alfred is continuing his sermon series through Genesis and this morning’s was, as usual, a tremendous encouragement and reminder of the gospel.

I could retype the entire sermon for you, but instead I’ll tempt you with just a few of the points he made and encourage you to visit our church’s website if you’d like to hear it for yourself:

- God’s covenant is sovereign. Unilateral. One-sided. God prescribes the promises and practices and He never changes His mind. (Tara’s note–What a comfort!)

- God’s covenant is eternal. Everlasting. Just as Galatians 3 reminds us, all of the promises given to Abraham have now been given to us. Our human relationships may end/break, but GOD’S never does. God is going to stay by you forever and ever.

- God’s covenant is a covenant of grace. We may be tempted to “barter” with God and “be better.” But God knows us even better than we know ourselves! We cannot hide. But He says, “Come to ME!” This is grace.

- Our security is not based on the weaknesses of our character or the strength of our faith. Our security is based on God’s sovereign grace.

Amen!

What great reminders to start our week–

Hope you enjoy your Monday! I need to track down Sophie’s Kiki (blankie) and pick up the resources I need to ship for the discounted orders from my two events last week. Then I’m going to tuck Soph back into bed (we’ve been cuddling and reading books in bed ALL day because she has a VERY, VERY bad cold, poor love) and do some packaging. Once that’s squared away, I hope to send out all of the emails with the links people requested and THEN turn my attention to our marriage retreat this weekend in New Jersey.

Whew! I am one tired Momma Tara. Guess that’s why I’m back to not sleeping well again. One more week to really push hard and then my schedule should even out again with primarily domestic diva duties.

Sending you my love!

Yours,
Tara B.

Soph’s happily playing over at a playdate and I’m here working hard on my speaker notes for my three conferences next month. (Yes, yes, a generous friend did quickly and happily offer to help me. See what a whiner–for no legitimate reason–I really am? Thank God for His grace!!)

In my “organizing” stage of prep, I came across a section of notes from a women’s retreat I did years ago and thought it might be interesting to you. I think that some of these words MAY be directly cribbed from Lane & Tripps, "How People Change" and/or Plantinga’s “Not the Way It’s Supposed to Be: A Breviary of Sin”–the two best books I read in 2005.

Anyway, here is the section from my outline from that 2005 event ...

Are you kind of blasé to the gospel? Do you say—“Yeah, yeah … Christ is the Son of God, died on the cross for my sins. Whatever.”

If so, be careful!

The Christian life—in all its joy!—is to be one where we are daily, moment-by-moment overwhelmed by the gospel; overwhelmed by grace. And such a blasé attitude toward the things of God is a serious warning that things are not the way they are supposed to be.

Quoting Jill Carratini in a recent RZIM Slice of Infinity: “Someone once told me that the opposite of Christlikeness is not sinfulness like we might expect but apathy. The idea that follows is that even the worst sinner who cries out to God is actually closer to the heart of Christ than the one who stands apathetically.

The woman caught in adultery and clinging to the feet of Christ was far closer to the breath of God than the religious men with rocks beside her. The Samaritan woman at the well who was willing to hear the hard truth Jesus offered about her life was closer to the Spirit of God and the truth of Christ than many within his own race. In vast distinction, the apathetic stance of Pontius Pilate led him to ask flippantly, “What is truth?” as he was staring truth incarnate in the eyes.”

Mmmmmmmm. I am so often so blase to grace of God!

Praying for a heart that beats for God alone–

Yours,
Tara B.

PS
Thanks again to everyone who has written and said that they are praying for me! What a gift you all give me. Thanks again! Love–tkb

Last night as we were reading about Jesus calming the storm and Peter walking out to him on the water, I asked Sophie how Jesus responded to Peter’s fears and doubt.

"Did Jesus scold Peter and sneer at him for his lack of faith?"

"No," Sophie said, “He reached out his hand to Peter.”

What a picture of grace, eh?

Totally reminded me of Monday’s RZIM Slice of Infinity by Jill Carratini:

Insult to Injury

It’s such a wonderful essay. I hope that you will check it out.

Here is one tiny snippet to tempt you to click on through (and hopefully encourage you too):

"When we come to Christ asking for help, we are offered a person, not a list that adds insult to injury. To the wounded, he simply offers his own wounds. While Jesus indeed offered instruction that would load down the strongest among us, God was lifting him onto to the Cross to help us bear the burden. In his presence the stinging may at first seem worse, but the wound, he assures us, will heal."

The wound will heal, my friends. It will, one day, heal.

Sending my love and prayers (I really do pray for you!)–

Yours,
Tara B.

We finished Prince Caspian tonight–after some marathon sessions Friday and Saturday because we just didn’t want to put it down (!!) and wow! But that was an exciting finish.

The battle was great, of course, but our favorite part was when Aslan was on the move, in the words of Sophia:

"Aslan is making everything PERFECT again!"

Talk about a wonderful picture of Shalom. Sophie burst out into a spontaneous chorus of, "For You are good! For You are good! For You are good to me!"–which delighted Fred and me to our toes.

(Seemed like pretty much the only appropriate response to God’s redemption.)

Now I just have to track down a copy of “The Voyage of the Dawn Treader” because ours seems to have gone missing ...

Hope you had a lovely Sabbath too!

Yours,
Tara B.

Earlier in the day, we went for a family walk on top of Zimmerman Trail.



It was a gorgeous day and there were Golden Retrievers a-plenty. Lili LOVED it. So did we.

My favorite part of the day was when Sophie “preached” a great sermon to us from high atop one of the (super fun) Zimmerman Trail rock formations. It went something like this:

"May I have your ATTENTION, please?! I have an ANNOUNCEMENT!

Jesus doesn’t want you to RUN AWAY from Him. He wants you to come TO Him so that your sins can be forgiven.

I know the way to HEAVEN! I am not the way. Jesus is The Way!"

Not bad for a five year old, eh?

We told her it was the best news we’d ever heard.

Enjoy your Sabbath tomorrow–

Yours,
Tara B.

More encouragement from Elyse Fitzpatrick and Dennis Johnson’s wonderful book, Counsel from the Cross: Connecting Broken People to the Love of Christ:

"Because we are so familiar with the gospel message, it gets shoved out to the periphery of our spiritual consciousness and becomes nothing more than white noise, only to be remembered at Christmas and Easter ...

When we lose those truths, what takes center stage in our awareness? We do, of course. When we lose the centrality of the cross, Christianity morphs into a religion of self-improvement and becomes about us, about our accomplishments, about getting our own way ...

So, now we’re going to remember God’s love for us in Christ for this one reason: Our love for God, for others, is responsive in nature. The Apostle John has made it perfectly clear: we love God in response to his love for us. We love others in response to God’s love for us, for them. Indeed, as John wrote, “We love because he first loved us” (1 John 4:19-20). If we’re unsure or doubtful about God’s disposition toward us, if we think that he is unloving, displeased or angry, then we will never be able to mortify our sin. Love is the first cause of all the graces we desire, it ‘warms the heart, and sweetly and powerfully influences our affections to delight in, and to walk in love with such an exceedingly gracious and merciful God.’"

(They quote William Romaine at the end there–I looked it up in their footnotes for you.)

I was given a tremendous Christmas gift last month when Crossway Books sent me a manuscript for review and possible endorsement. The book (scheduled for publication in 2009) is Counsel from the Cross: Connecting Broken People to the Love of Christ, by Elyse Fitzpatrick and Dennis Johnson and it is wonderful.

Reading through it, I had a similar experience to when I read How People Change (by Paul Tripp and Timothy Lane). Initially, I foolishly had the thought, “Another book on biblical counseling and the gospel, etc. etc.? Haven’t I read enough of these?” But then, just like with “How People Change,” I was challenged, encouraged, comforted, helped, drawn to worship Christ!

I absolutely LOVED this book.

As I work on my (glowing!) endorsement, I hope to write more blogs in the coming days with various excerpts. Today, I will leave you with this:

"Do you feel yourself to be too great a sinner for his promises of love to be true for you? You must remember: Christ did not die for the righteous but for sinners! (Matthew 9:13) His love rests on those who know they don’t deserve it. Answer your conscience and your adversary who would accuse you, as Martin Luther did:

'Because you say I am a sinner, I will be righteous and saved ... I fly to Christ who has given himself for my sins. Therefore, Satan, you will not prevail against me when you try to terrify me by telling me how great my sins are. On the contrary, when you say I am a sinner, you give me armor and a weapon against yourself ... for Christ died for sinners. You do not terrify me but comfort me immeasurably.'"

Amen and Amen!

Be not terrified this day, my friends. Be comforted. In joy and in sorrow. When you make that wise, disciplined choice and when you fail. Again. Remember that God’s love for you is not based on YOU but on HIM. He is the One True God. He delights in saving sinners. He chooses to rescue unworthy, trapped people and make them His own.

From death to life.
Darkness to light.
Rejection to delight.
Abandonment to adoption.

God will never forsake His children. Never.

Thanks, Dr. Johnson and Mrs. Fitzpatrick for your brilliant, practical, biblical, Christ-exalting book to help us all remember these truths.

Happy Thursday to you all!

Your friend,
Tara B.

Well, it’s the end of another year. I’m sure we’ll be asleep by 10PM tonight as usual – we’re not really into late nights unless we’re taking care of a sick child or a sick Golden Retriever.

I’ve been wishing that I could drum up some sort of godly, encouraging, and pithy thing to say to you to send you off into 2009. But I’m in pretty much a bare-minimum-survival mode around here, so coherent thoughts are not coming quickly or readily.

So I guess I’ll leave you with this ...

Believe God. More than your feelings or circumstances.

Remember what He said. Remember all that He has already done.

Turn away from yourself. Run to Him! And you will see that He is hitching up His robes, running to you, and actually? Giving you the grace to run to Him too.

Happy, blessed new year!

From your grateful friend,
Tara B.

Hope you’re enjoying a lovely Christmas. Fred and I are awake–and just waiting for our sound sleeper to wake up.

Pastor Alfred closed our service last night with a reading from Hebrews 2 and I thought it might bless and challenge you all too:

"Therefore we must pay much closer attention to what we have heard, lest we drift away from it. For since the message declared by angels proved to be reliable, and every transgression or disobedience received a just retribution, how shall we escape if we neglect such a great salvation?"

Oh! That we will never neglect such a great salvation.

Merry, Blessed Christmas to you!

Yours,
Tara B.

Our Christmas Eve started, well, the best a Christmas Eve has ever started for me.

Sophie climbed into bed with us–in her adorable little polka-dot “Joy” Christmas pajamas sent by my “Christian parents” and their kids–and jumped right into talking about Christmas.

- How even though her “littlest pet shop” book says that Christmas is all about spending time with friends, WE are graced to know that Christmas is actually about when the Second Person of the Trinity was incarnate by the Holy Spirit of the Virgin Mary; was made Man; was born in Bethlehem of Judea to save sinners

- We talked about how EVERYTHING CHANGED in that moment when Jesus was born. The Savior of the World had come! History even marked time differently ... B.C., A.D. Anno Domini. In the year of our Lord.

- Does that mean we can’t enjoy a good laugh and a fun story? Rudolph, Frosty, even ol' historically-real “St. Nick” and his, no-longer-historically accurate chimney hopping tale? Nope! Not around here. We like the silly stuff and the sparkly lights ... but we enjoy them in context. WHY do we laugh and giggle and rejoice? Ultimately, NOT because of cute stories, but because God has saved us–from Satan, Hell, the world, our own sin. Why do we drive around and oooh and ahhh at twinkly lights? Sure, they’re fun. But mostly, we rejoice because Jesus is the Light of the World.

- Yes, some people think Christmas is ONLY about spending time with friends and family; giving gifts; doing nice things. But they are mistaken. Christmas is about when God gave us the ultimate, sacrificial, eternal gift–His Own Son. His Very Self. Our Only Hope.

So that’s how our day started and I just couldn’t be more grateful. What a lovie bug we have! I cherish every moment with her.

Then we were on to getting to open one gift (Mousetrap!) and eating a bite of chocolate and a lick of peppermint (in bed! before breakfast!). Fun fun. We’re a blessed lot.

Hope your Christmas Eve points you to the Savior of the World! C.J. Mahanney has a profound article over on his blog if you’d like a healthy dose of the gospel to start you off:

Disturbing Christmas

Merry, blessed, happy Christmas to you!

Your friend,
Tara B.

Great, great stuff over at Adrian Warnock’s blog today. In particular don’t miss his links to six conversations among Tim Keller, John Piper, and D.A. Carson:

Eight Reasons to Use Facebook

And to file away for future use, he posted a link to Everything Jonathan Edwards Ever Wrote (Available for Free Online).

Enjoy!

After reading from Galatians 4 and 5 last night, I cuddled with Sophie and talked about our day. (Direct quote from our conversation:

"What was your favorite thing from today, love-bug?"

“EVERYTHING!”

...So I guess that means she’s enjoying our vacation.)

Sophie has been struggling with her perfectionistic tendencies lately–overreacting to her tiny (human!) mistakes; not cutting herself any slack; seeing her sins and immaturity and absolutely despairing.

(I have NO idea where she gets THAT from! Really. Must be Fred.)

So after lots of snuggles and giggles, as I prepared to leave (and rejoin Kali and the Freds for our Partini and Wise and Otherwise game fest), I said to her:

"Soph, what do you think it means when the Bible says that it is, “for freedom Christ has set us free” (Galatians 5:1)? What are we set free from?"

And Sophie responded, "Condemnation and sin."

“Yes! That’s exactly right! And that’s what I want you to think about as you go to sleep, Soph. That you are have been SET FREE! Sin is no longer your master AND you just CAN’T BE condemned. Satan? The world? Your Old Man? If they tempt you to despair (and tell you of the guilt within!), you just tell them to SHHHHHH! Because Christ has set you FREE.”

One big smile and a LONG night of sound rest later, I’m believing in faith that that is exactly what she was meditating on as she fell asleep. And it’s what I’m thinking about as I begin my day today and I’m praying that YOU will be encouraged too.

Who can separate you from God’s love? Angel? Demon? The worlds above or below? Your own flesh? NO!

Does the law of the Spirit bring you life in Christ Jesus or condemnation? Life life life!

("But Tara, you don’t know. You don’t know how sinful I am. I’m really really really REALLY bad! And I’m SO cold and lazy in my faith!" Yes, you probably are. But the truth is, as our pastors are always reminding us, you probably also don’t even know the half of it. We don’t even know how bad we are! But God knows. He knows it all. He knows the darkness of our hearts and the selfishness of our lives. He knows that we could never get our acts together and pull ourselves out of the pit. Even as we grow and mature, we never get away from our sin. We don’t ever become “good enough.” But Christ was and is and always will be. Run to HIM. Trust HIM–not yourself. Believe that what He said is true.)

"For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery."

Amen? Amen!

Much love,
Tara B.

Jill Carattini’s recent devotional, "Far Away from Home," quoted Dietrich Bonhoeffer at length and it was so rich with the gospel that I wanted to share it with you here:

"In a Christmas sermon given December 2, 1928, Dietrich Bonhoeffer said, “The celebration of Advent is possible only to those who are troubled in soul, who know themselves to be poor and imperfect, who look forward to something greater to come. For these, it is enough to wait in humble fear until the Holy One himself comes down to us, God in the child in the manger. God comes. The Lord Jesus comes. Christmas comes. Christians rejoice!”

“When once again Christmas comes and we hear the familiar carols and sing the Christmas hymns, something happens to us... The hardest heart is softened. We recall our own childhood. We feel again how we then felt, especially if we were separated from a mother. A kind of homesickness comes over us for past times, distant places, and yes, a blessed longing for a world without violence or hardness of heart. But there is something more–a longing for the safe lodging of the everlasting Father. And that leads our thoughts to the curse of homelessness which hangs heavily over the world."

“Lord Jesus, come yourself, and dwell with us, be human as we are, and overcome what overwhelms us. Come into the midst of my evil, come close to my unfaithfulness. Share my sin, which I hate and which I cannot leave. Be my brother, Thou Holy God. Be my brother in the kingdom of evil and suffering and death. Come with me in my death, come with me in my suffering, come with me as I struggle with evil. And make me holy and pure, despite my sin and death.”

Amen and amen.

And happy, blessed Monday to you!

With love,
Tara B.

One of my happiest memories in life is from 1992.

I was a senior at Augustana College (Illinois) and I had the privilege of accompanying a remarkable young woman (Libby Awe) as she sang, “Ride on King Jesus!” for a project for Dr. Paul Olsen’s Black Literature course.

Libby is tremendously gifted and we worked very hard to prepare for this project. And we absolutely nailed it.

It was such a moment–so much fun and so worshipful and so fantastically musical. Real art. I will never forget it. What an honor! What a joy. A true pleasure because it was a faint reflection of–the whiff of the aroma of–Heaven.

If you haven’t yet been introduced to the richness of Black Music (African, Negro Spiritual, Ragtime, Big Band, Gospel, Blues), a wonderful way to learn about this great music is via the audio CD: Handel’s Messiah–A Soulful Celebration. It is one of our favorites!

We’re off to the hospital soon for Sophie’s barium test. Last night was the worst night yet–I just can’t describe how much pain she is in. I am praying that King Jesus will give her doctors wisdom and the ability to help her.

Hope your Tuesday is a blessed one!

Yours,
Tara B.

PS
If you want to have your socks knocked off and hear a taste of what Libby and I did twenty-some years ago, enjoy this video of Jessye Norman singing, “Ride on King Jesus!”

Pastor Jason ZINGED me yesterday morning at church when he welcomed us to the service by asking us to, “Please turn off your cell phones–and your AUTOPILOT.”

He stopped me short and I did turn off–well, not so much my autopilot as my ZOOMING ZOOMING SINCE 4AM super-fast-airplane-pilot. (I haven’t been getting a lot of sleep lately. Including last night–Soph was whimpering in pain for hours and calling out for me. There was slight relief after prayer, momma cuddles, and medicine (thank GOD!), but I did not get much sleep at all.)

Anyway ... by the time church started at 10AM, I had already been up and going for six hours. Much of the time was spent on heart issues that actually helped me to prepare for worship. But I was also zooming around getting a zillion details taken care of because our day was quite full after church (not a typical Sunday for us) and I had a lot of things that I HAD TO remember.

So I was grateful for Jason’s call to settle down and listen up because God had brought us together to hear from HIM through the public reading and preaching of His Word. And boy! Did I need to hear from God. (And I did.)

Pastor Alfred was vintage Pastor Alfred and I encourage you to check back with our church’s (soon to be redesigned–HOORAY AMY L!) website and listen to his sermon from yesterday yourself. He preached from Galatians 5:16-25 and, well, it was a sermon that was exactly and directly for ME. ('Course, five people said the exact same thing to me after the service–that it was for THEM–so you know that really, it was just the gospel which is for ALL OF US.)

The two main points of his sermon were “The War Within” and “Living by the Spirit Within.”

It was a long sermon (that’s vintage Alfred and I LOVE it!), so I won’t try to restate all of his points. But consider just a few:

- The most frequent question that Pastor Alfred hears is, “If I am saved, then why do I continue to sin?! Am I even a Christian?” To which he always replies, “The fact that you are even asking the question is very strong evidence that, yes, you are a Believer because spiritually dead people don’t struggle.” Unbelievers don’t care if they’ve grieved God. They don’t even recognize the battle. A greater concern, a true sign of spiritual sickness, is a false peace while indulging in sin (i.e., the absence of a battle).

- The war is WITHIN. Yes, the devil tempts us and the world would conform us to its ways. But the true war is within–at the level of our desires. We carry our sinful nature with us wherever we go.

- Christ makes no truce with sin. He came into the world to DESTROY sin and He IS putting to death the sin that remains in you. So where is God saying, “I need to work with you on this?” What keeps you from trusting, obeying, and serving Christ with a whole heart? In our arrogance, we fail to reckon with our flesh. We feel no need of Christ. Danger! Danger! We are all prone to wander.

- Living by the Spirit? Yes! We are a cross-bearing, self-denying people. We keep on crucifying that sinful nature. Listen! We are not crucifying our outward behaviors. We are crucifying our heart desires.

- (Quoting John Brown) “Crucifixion produces death not suddenly, but gradually ...” Fix your sin on the cross and determine to keep it there until it expires! Have you struggled with the same sin for 30 years? 40 years? Keep it on the cross. Sin beckons us to take it off the cross because discipline is painful. But the Lord calls you to address and kill your sin. “Lord, search my heart!”

- Most importantly? Remember that if you are led by the Spirit, you are NOT under law. (One of the main characteristics of not living by the Spirit isn’t so much the prodigal SON as the OLDER BROTHER–the performance-based legalist.)

- Does that mean you don’t have to obey God? Of course not! Jesus says, “If you love me, you will obey what I command.” BUT your relationship with God is NOT based on your works. God COVERS US with his love and mercy and grace. Your imperfections are covered by God. For example: “You witnessed to your neighbor? Great! You hit him over the head with the Bible? Well ... we’re going to work on that. Come to me. You can come to me freely because you’re not under law!” (i.e., God doesn’t KICK US, he LOVES US.)

- Keeping in step with the Spirit is not some sort of emotional mysticism wherein we listen to hunches and promptings. Quoting JI Packer: “The Spirit works through ordinary means–the preaching of the Word, the sacraments ...” So consider how faithful you are to prepare for the Lord’s Day, participate in corporate worship, fervently pray?

- Granted, we can all come up with examples of people who know God’s Word and live ruinous lives. But don’t ever think that you can live a godly life if you don’t know God’s Word. God pierces our hearts with His Word by His Spirit.

Please, God, open my heart! Please pierce my heart and convict me of my sin.

Thank You, Jesus, that you never leave me caught in my sin, helpless, orphaned, or alone. You have given my Your Spirit! I am so grateful.

Amen & Amen?!
Amen!

And blessings on you as you head into your Monday–

Yours in the battle,
Tara B.

Sophie and I were reading in Luke 19 last night for our cuddle-time night-time Bible reading. After we read the story of Zacchaeus, we had an important conversation about the gospel. It went something like this:

"Sophie? What happened first? Did Zacchaeus stop doing bad things and start doing good things and THAT’S WHY Jesus called Zacchaeus out of the tree and said He had to stay at Zacchaeus' house? Or, did Jesus call out to Zacchaeus–did He “seek and save” Zacchaeus–and THEN, in response to God’s mercy and love, did Zacchaeus repent?"

“Jesus called Zacchaeus and in response to His mercy, Zacchaeus repented.”

“That’s right! And that’s exactly how it is for us. Left to our own devices, we would love our sin and continue in it. But God, Who is rich in mercy, has made us alive with Him in Christ! It is God’s kindness that leads us to repentance. God loved us when we were yet sinners! And in response, we turn from our sin and find our entire being (every breath, where we live, the jobs we do, how we do the jobs we do, our schooling, money management, stewardship of time, health, relationships, suffering ... all that we are and all that we will ever be) in Him.”

“Bought with a price. We are no longer our own. This is very, very good news.”

Hope you enjoy a restful, God-centered Sabbath today as you are nourished by God Himself through His means of grace – the preaching of His Word by our ordained pastors and the sacraments of baptism and communion.

Yours,
Tara B.

PS
Zacchaeus is a very hard name to spell.

For as long as I can remember, I have always loved to read and journal. Read and write. Read, process, read some more, process some more.

I remember trying to figure out typing back when I was seven years old (and typing really meant TYPING–ribbons and swooshy metal rods that swung up and occasionally jammed together in an inky mass of jumbled letters). I have (embarrassing!) journals from every age. (Samara told me recently that there is, apparently, a Broadway “play” where people actually read from their pre-teen and teen JOURNALS. Can you imagine?!) I still remember the exact color and smell of my college dorm room carpet–so many hours did I spend down there with my Bible and a journal.

I credit books with a great deal of my “discipleship”–but in the last few years, I have to credit my pastor, Jason Barrie, with even more. He has been, to quote Fred, one of the greatest evidences of grace in our family’s life and in my life in particular. How grateful we are for a pastor who faithfully ministers the Word in preaching, teaching, and relationship.

So you can understand why I take Pastor Jason’s book recommendations seriously. Years ago? When he sent me in the direction of Michael Horton’s, "Putting Amazing Back into Grace"? I devoured it fundamentally because it pointed me to Christ through His glorious gospel. But I also loved it because my pastor knew, respected, and loved the author from his days at Westminster West–and if Pastor Jason respects and loves someone, I’m probably going to do so too.

With that background, I would like to introduce you to Michael Horton’s latest book and encourage you to consider reading it:

Christless Christianity: The Alternative Gospel of the American Church

There are already a number of reviews floating around on various websites and blogs (and on Amazon too)–so I encourage you to check them out if you’d like the details from careful thinkers (and great writers) like Tim Challies and Pastor Anyabwile.

But rather than trying to “reinvent the horse” (one of my malapropisms that Fred particularly enjoys) and systematically review this great book (that already has a number of thorough reviews), I will instead make only a few comments of reflection:

1. Reading this book helped me to turn away from my slight discomfort over teaching Sophia Grace the last few questions of the Children’s Catechism. ("What will God do to unbelievers on the last day?", “What is hell?”, etc.) While I still believe strongly that young children should be shielded from certain aspects of life in a fallen world, a careful, gentle introduction to the import of eternity is the only way that I know I am actually sharing the true gospel of Jesus Christ with my daughter. Quoting Dr. Horton:

"Satan lulls us to sleep as we trim our message to the banality of popular culture and invoke Christ’s name for anything and everything but salvation from the coming judgment."

Eek! Don’t want to do that.

2. I greatly appreciated the Christ-exalting, gospel-proclaiming endorsements and quotes from across the denominational spectrum: Baptist, United Methodist, Episcopal, Lutheran, and yes, Presbyterian (to name only a few). But how nice that they were not ALL Presbyterian! Don’t get me wrong. I love my church and my denomination–but this book was a great reminder that there are godly, biblical, Spirit-filled men and women in lots of denominations who are committed to faithfully ministering the gospel.

3. This book was a sad reminder of just how wretched sin and unbelief are, particularly the twin evils of Palagianism and Gnosticism. Thankfully, my pastors regularly teach us about such (important) heresies of “works-righteousness calls for moral ascent,” so they weren’t new ideas or terms to me. But I am so dull and so quick to forget just how pervasive these beliefs are in the Christian church! Dr. Horton’s clear and consistent call to remember that “we cannot climb up to God, but God climbed down to us” is on every page of this book.

4. I particularly appreciated his reminders that God’s means of grace are just that–God’s. Preaching isn’t about how much we enjoy an intellectual experience; “in preaching we are addressed.” By God. We don’t choose to be baptized because it makes us feel good; “we are baptized.” By God. “In the Lord’s Supper, Christ gives himself to us as our food and drink for eternal life; it is a banquet set for us–the meal has already been prepared, and Christ even serves it to us through his ministers. We are fed; our filthy rags removed, we are bathed and clothed with Christ and fed for our pilgrimage to the City of God.”

Amen & Amen! What great reminders. What a profound (and readable!) book.

Thank you, Dr. Horton! And dear blog friends–I hope that you will please consider reading this book and introducing it to your friends (and church leaders) too.

5:30AM. I think I’ll climb back into bed for a little nap and a little warmth. (Our heat kicks on around 6AM so I’m a bit of a Tara-cicle during these late night adventures. Even under a blanket. Even with the warm breath of a Golden to keep me company.)

Soon it will be time to start our holiday as a family–and most importantly? To gather at church to receive God’s grace and leave, bearing His marks.

Happy, Blessed Thanksgiving to you all!

Yours,
Tara B.

PS
A number of you have posted comments or dropped me notes over the years about how “Peacemaking Women” and this blog have encouraged you to dig into books that, previously, you had written off as “too hard” or “too deep,” etc. And I just want to cheer you on! And encourage you to keep reading. Whether it’s Bonheoffer or Calvin or Plantinga ... there is something so good and edifying about reading books that stretch us. I also want to encourage you to read for FUN. Melodee Mattson and CJ Mahanney and Tim Challies have all recently challenged me in that regard–and I am the better for it. A little Grisham legal thriller, WWII saga of heroism, and a page-turning book on President Lincoln? Fun stuff!

For specific ideas on how to “read more and read better”, check out this great post by Tim Challies: “10 Tips to Read More and Read Better”.

Yesterday was not the day I planned to have–but there were many blessings anyway.

One of them was our reading to prepare for small group. As our pastor preaches through Galatians, our small groups are reading and discussing Tim Keller’s commentary–and it is profound. Convicting? Yes! But comforting, too. Not condemning–well, as long as I keep praying for the grace to look at the Cross and not fixate on myself. (Because whenever I get stuck focusing on my sins and immaturities and lack of faith? I despair!)

Toward the end of the reading, there was a list comparing the “two fundamentally different ways to live” – either as “sons” or “slaves” (Galatians 4:4-5, 7). One is full of fear (slave) and the other is full of faith working through love.

I related to (and cringed at! and rejoiced in!) many of the other comparisons too:

- Slaves view faith as an effort to love God and believe without doubting so he will accept you. Children view faith as a discipline of remembering and living as an accepted child of God.

- Slaves are driven, self-critical, and bound by unrealistic goals tied to obeying God and moral codes out of compulsion and a fear of rejection. Children obey out of joy in their Father and out of gratitude for the certainty of his love. ("How can I live so ungratefully to one who will never reject me?")

- Slaves hide. Slaves use gossip, blame-shifting, anger, and defensiveness as strategies to hide their inner and outer failings from themselves and other people. Children are open and transparent. Children are free from having to put up a front; they are able to appreciate people who are different and hurting.

- Slaves live lives of isolation. Slaves feel that no one understands, that no one cares. Slaves are not willing to trust (or else they swing too far in the other direction and put an intense, idolatrous trust in a person (or organization) who inevitably disappoints and lets them down. Children enjoy a growing circle of friends with whom they are neither too independent or over-dependent. Children do not wallow in self-absorbed self-pity.

Eek! And that’s just a FEW of the points from the reading. I could go on and on.

But instead, I will end with this excerpt:

"On the one hand, without a knowledge of our extreme sin and idolatry, the payment of Christ on the cross seems trivial, and the message of it does not electrify or transform.

On the other hand, without a knowledge of our complete acceptance and adoption through Christ, the message of our sin would so crush us that we would deny or repress it. But the more you know of his infallible fatherly love, the more you are able to realistically face yourself, your flaws and faults. The more you see your sin, the more precious and valuable you find his saving love and grace."

Praying that we would all know God’s infallible fatherly love this day and every day.

Yours,
Tara B.

How blessed I was by our small group last night.

(Yes, yes, we didn’t cancel small group. I Clorox-wiped down everything and did my best to not share germs, but I thought it’d be OK to risk it since we weren’t “captive” in little rooms with little children sitting around little tables (like co-op would’ve been) ... so I guess I DO fall somewhere in the middle of all of your excellent comments from yesterday. Thanks for those, by the way!)

We’re continuing to study Galatians and last night we looked, in particular, at how the gospel turns us away from our idols.

I’m assuming that most of my blog friends have already studied the topic of idolatry a lot, so I won’t go into a teaching on “the basics.”

(But if you haven’t studied this topic, I encourage you to do so! Elyze Fitzpatrick’s Idols of the Heart is a good, basic introduction; as is Ken Sande’s The Peacemaker. And if you want to go deeper, anything by David Powlison or the CCEF authors will be, I’m sure, rich and challenging (and encouraging!).

Oh, and that encouraging part is important, isn’t it? Otherwise, it can be very easy to slip off into condemnation rather than conviction once we begin to see “the sin under every sin” that idolatry is. So black are our hearts! And so deep is our depravity! If we are convicted and then attempt to moralize or psychologize our way out–it will lead only to despair.)

So what do we do? How do we turn away from our idols? We run to Christ and believe Him. By faith, by grace, we stop “believing that our personal security rests on our present feelings or recent achievements in the Christian life” and instead? “We start each day with our personal security resting on the accepting love of God and the sacrifice of Christ.”

"The faith that is able to warm itself at the fire of God’s love, instead of having to steal love and self-acceptance from other sources, is actually the root of holiness."

This morning? This day? I am praying that we will all tuck up under that blanket of warmth, face-forward, heated to our very core by the knowledge of and confidence that we are not our own, but we have been bought with a Great Price (1 Cor. 6:19-20). Redeemed now, we can never and will never be forsaken–for God will not forsake His children (Psalm 99:14).

Alleluia! Thank God for the gospel. Thank God for Christ!

We’re off to the airport now! Soph’s happily ensconced with Uncle TJ (who, by the way, has some STUNNING paintings up right now, including a FRAMED one that would be an IDEAL Christmas present for someone special in your life), Auntie Samara, Scout & William. And I’m already missing her so much that my heart hurts. I’m sure I’ll be OK once I get moving and the wonderful CCEF Conference begins, but here at home? In the quietness of the early morning with Lili snoring at my feet? My momma heart is keenly aware that something is “not the way it’s supposed to be.”

So with that, I’ll head on up for final packing.

Hope you enjoy a wonderful Wednesday! "Warming yourself at the fire of God’s love ..."

Yours,
Tara B.

PS
All of the quotes above came from Richard Lovelace’s, Dynamics of Spiritual Life: An Evangelical Theology of Renewal. I’d never heard of Richard Lovelace before, but I really want to read this book now!

PPS
If you’d like to do your devotional today on that rich truth that you have been “bought with a price,” I reviewed this Spurgeon sermon this morning and was “warmed” with the gospel. I heartily commend it to you.

In our Bible reading last night, Sophie and I read about the “sinful woman” who washed Jesus' feet with her tears and hair and anointed his feet with expensive perfume.

Initially, Sophie didn’t understand WHY the “very important people” were SO ANGRY when Jesus allowed her to do this and when he pronounced her forgiveness. But then we talked about how the “good people” thought they were close to God because they kept the rules and looked so “together” on the outside and THEY didn’t think THEY needed a Rescuer; but that it was actually the “sinful woman” who close to God because she knew she was a sinner and she knew she needed a Rescuer and she was running to JESUS (not her good works).

Sophie said:

"The “very important people” have it all BACKWARDS!"

“They sure do!” I told her.

And then I thought about how easy it is to fall into this “do good things / be a good person / look good on the outside” TRAP. We’re seeing this constantly as we continue to study Galatians at our church (in Pastor Alfred’s sermon series, Sunday School class, and in our small groups).

For example, in our study this week (on Galatians 3:15-25), we read from Luther’s commentary:

"If we doubt or do not believe that God is gracious and pleased with us, or if we presumptuously expect to please Him through our works, then all [our compliance with the law] is pure deception, outwardly honoring God, but inwardly setting up self as a false [savior] ...

Note for yourself, then, how far apart these two are: keeping the First Commandment with outward works only, and keeping it with inward [justifying faith]. For the last makes true, living children of God, the other only makes worse idolatry and the most mischievous hypocrites on earth ..."

Eek! How often am I one of the, “most mischievous hypocrites on earth”??! How often do I forget that, “Mere moral effort without the gospel may restrain the heart but cannot truly change the heart.” (Keller on Luther’s Commentary to Galatians) Only the gospel changes the heart.

I am praying that this day and every day, I would obey God’s law from the place of being forgiven, justified, loved, accepted, adopted by God because of Christ (and NOT trust in my–flawed and incompetent–efforts to “be good” for God’s love.

"From not for!" That’s what my Pastor Jason Barrie is always reminding us. We obey from the place of God’s love and acceptance, not for His love and acceptance.

(Thanks for always pointing us to the gospel, Pastor Jason! And Pastor Keller! And Luther and Paul too, eh? )

Hope you enjoy a blessed Thursday!

Yours,
Tara B.

Wow! We are being tremendously blessed as a church family by the rigorous studying of Galatians. Pastor Alfred’s sermons are challenging and encouraging, and we’re studying the material in even greater depth in his Sunday school class and our small groups.

Taking the time to really study Scripture like this shows just how shallow my typical Scripture reading is. Usually? I do just that ... read. I don’t take the time to observe, interpret, and apply. And I certainly don’t wrestle in prayer and with study aids over difficult passages like Galatians 3:19-20.

(Pastor Alfred made us all laugh during Sunday school when we tried to urge him to preach through those two verses–and he said he could do it. But it would take over three hours and he didn’t think most people would appreciate a three hours sermon. I leaned over to Trudy and said, “I’d come back for a three hour lecture.” But he could not be persuaded. At least not today.)

I did want to end my day reflecting on Galatians 3:23-27 and thought you might enjoy the encouragement too:

"Now before faith came, we were held captive under the law, imprisoned until the coming faith would be revealed. So then, the law was our guardian until Christ came, in order that we might be justified by faith. But now that faith has come, we are no longer under a guardian, for in Christ Jesus you are all sons of God, through faith. For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ."

Pastor Alfred reminders about this passage?

1. The law condemns us. The law says “cursed!” "condemned!" “damnable!” and “dead!”

2. The law causes us to abandon all hope that we can save ourselves.

3. The law shows us our sin and our need for Jesus Christ.

4. The promise says “come!” "He is able!" (and most amazingly) “He is willing!”

Thank You, Lord, for granting me even the grace to feel my need of You.

Thank You, God, for establishing Your covenant and then upholding Your covenant. If my relationship with You were dependent on my performance, I would be lost.

Thank You, God, that nothing can snatch me from your loving grip.

With that assurance, I go to sleep.

Gratefully,
Tara B.

Finally! Peacemakers posted a video of the end of Dr. Kuzmic’s keynote address. I’ve been waiting!

Please take four minutes and watch this video. It is a remarkable illustration of the gospel–the Jesus did not kill the enemy, but the enmity between the enemy and Him.




Praise God! Praise God!

(And thanks, Route 5:9 blogging team for the video!)

Gratefully,
Tara B.

For the last few weeks, Fred has been reading The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe to Sophia and me. We’ve all loved it! And we were sad to have it come to the end last night. (But we’ll be moving on to Prince Caspian next.)

As I awoke this morning, I smiled at three memories from our reading last night:

1. Fred crying as he read of Aslan being shamefully shaved; Aslan’s resurrection; and Mr. Tumnus being reunited with Lucy. (In fifteen years of knowing Fred, I’ve only seen him cry a handful of times. Watching him choke up last night reminded me of what a truly kind man he is.)

2. As her eyes grew wide when Aslan was tied to the stone table and mercilessly mocked by all of the antagonists, Sophie leaned over to whisper in my ear, "They don’t know his plan!" (Indeed.)

3. Once alive again, in his glorious, glowing resurrected body–when Aslan romped with the girls, playing, laughing, running, skittering; once all was as it was meant to be ... Sophie said, "They are playing the JOY game!" (Yes, they are.)

Thank God for C.S. Lewis! I love his essays. I love his books. And I love The Chronicles of Narnia.

Happy Thursday!

Yours,
Tara B.

I was trying to find the desk in my office the other day (I assume that if I can unearth the desk, there might even be a FLOOR in there somewhere) … and I came across my notes from the 2008 Peacemaker Conference.

The speakers were wonderfully challenging and comforting (a good combination):

- Tim Laniak drew a frighteningly accurate portrait of what happens when shepherding is corrupted and becomes only heavy/crushing accountability or namby-pamby bedside pastoral care. Having spent years living among and studying the Bedouin shepherds, Dr. Laniak has no “precious moments” ceramic figurine portrait of what it means to be a shepherd. Instead, he explained that the work is so hard and so comprehensive that shepherds must have both backbone AND heart. They care for their sheep to such an extent that they will not even sleep at night—because they are scouring the landscape for wolves.

- Pastor Thabiti Anyabwile reminded us that the end of unforgiveness isn’t power—it’s destruction. And as Christians, we must always be ready to repeatedly forgive.

- Pastor John Stumbo challenged us to forgive because if we don’t, our world becomes very small. But he also reminded us that there are some things that only we can do (confess to our brother); and some things only God can do (soften his heart to forgive us).

I was also repeatedly convicted and encouraged on that trip because I was reading Nancy Leigh DeMoss’s latest book, Choosing Forgiveness: Your Journey to Freedom.

Friends, this is a profound book on forgiveness and I highly recommend it to you. In fact, if I can find a way to get it at a discount, I think I may try to carry it at my future events—it’s that good.

I could easily transcribe entire paragraphs for you, but instead I’ll just grab a few thoughts with the hope that they will motivate you to keep this book in mind for a future reference. If you or someone you know struggles with bitterness or unforgiveness, remember what Nancy Leigh DeMoss teaches us:

- “When we choose to hold on to our grudges … we trade the freshness of the new day and all its possibilities for the pain of the past.”

- “The prevailing mind-set in our culture today (and far too often, in the evangelical world as well) leaves u with permission to be coddled, even empowered, in our resentment, our broken relationships, and our unresolved conflicts. Well-meaning friends sometimes come alongside us, supporting our stubborn determination to exact payment from those who have sinned against us, sympathizing with our self-pity. But the Word of God is clear that the cost of unforgiveness is great. We cannot expect to live at peace with God or to experience His blessing in our lives if we refused to forgive our debtors.”

- “The wounds that have been inflicted upon you will not be made one ounce lighter by being stored up and left to fester.”

- (Recalling “Great Expectations”) “Has the clock stopped in your life? Was there a moment when someone or something hurt you—and everything changed?”

- “Forgiveness at its best requires that you face how badly you’ve been hurt.” “We can’t talk about forgiveness without acknowledging the reality of pain.”

- “In our therapeutic culture, it’s widely acceptable to acknowledge that we’ve been “hurt” or “wounded”—words that focus on the wrong that has been done to us. But it’s a lot harder to admit that we’ve let that hurt escalate (or descend, to use a better word) into unforgiveness or bitterness—which puts responsibility on our shoulders.”

And then she gave some of the best questions I’ve ever heard to help uncover where we might be struggling with bitterness—even if we don’t know it! She asks, “Can you relate to any of these statements?”

- I often replay in my mind the incident(s) that hurt me.

- When I think of a particular person or situation, I still feel angry.

- I try hard not to think about the person, event, or circumstance that caused me so much pain.

- I have a subtle, secret desire to see this person pay for what he or she did to me.

- Deep in my heart, I wouldn’t mind if something had happened to the person(s) who hurt me.

- I often find myself telling others how this person has hurt me.

- A lot of my conversations revolve around this situation.

- Whenever his or her name comes up, I am more likely to say something negative than something positive about him or her.

“These kinds of thoughts reveal pockets of resentment and unforgiveness in our hearts.”

Don’t you want to run right out and get this book?! I know you won’t be disappointed. The quotes she puts at the beginning of each chapter are alone worth the price of the book. I’ll close with just one:

“I say to the glory of God and in utter humility that whenever I see myself before God and realize even something of what my blessed Lord has done for me, I am ready to forgive anybody anything.” D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones

Amen! And THANKS for this great book, Nancy Leigh DeMoss!

Happy Wednesday to you all—

Yours,
Tara B.

Michael Horton has a new book coming out and for a limited time you can get it for 1/2-off! The details (plus videos, audio files, endorsements, etc.) are at:

Christless Christianity: The Alternative Gospel of the American Church

Dr. Horton is also going to be doing a live web chat with The Washington Post on October 31st.

If you’re not familiar with his writings (or the amazing teaching ministry of The White Horse Inn), I encourage you to check them both out. They are definitely worth your time!

I’m going to pop over to Christless Christianity and order my copy now and then I’m off to California.

Happy Thursday!
- Tara B.

Great news! TakeYourVitaminZ just posted that Covenant Seminary has launched a series of new sites that are (apparently) chock-full of great stuff.

I haven’t yet had time to poke through all of the pages–more or less listen to all of the material–but I wanted to be sure to let you know:

New Covenant Seminary Sites

You know ... I keep thinking that even if I never get to actually GO to seminary, I bet I could learn a TON just reading the books I already own and listening to the material from trustworthy sources that I can find online. If only I were diligent and not so prone to sloth, eh?

OK–back to the laundry.

Blessings!
– Tara B.

Today was the first day in a week that I didn’t wake up sick and then spend the next fifteen hours doing my best to fulfill my duties all while fighting a headache, fever, nausea, and clammy, dizzy exhaustion. All of that would’ve been unpleasant at home in my bed–but flying a family across a continent and then spending five days in theme parks, water parks, and teaching at this conference? Well.

Let me just say that I was a blessed woman today to be able to walk around in daylight without the pain of a spike going through my eye and forehead. And wow! It’s a lot easier to stand for hours when you’re not doubled over or running to a restroom. SO ... all that to say ... it was a really nice day and I was feeling grateful!

But then I made the mistake of checking my email. Yup. Waiting for me was NOT an encouraging “thanks so much for trying and doing your best Tara even though you were obviously so sick” note. Nope. None of those.

Instead, I have the joy this evening of prayerfully striving to respond with a gentle heart toward a difficult email.

(Man. This life really is nothing but a constant death, isn’t it?)

Sure, there are moments of happiness (Soph’s bright eyes and infectious giggles from the day still make me smile). We have slight seasons of pleasure and comfort; grace and gentleness; kindness and charitable presumptions.

But then, this side of Heaven, there will always be these challenges. So I am praying that God will grant me a heart to respond with gentleness, humility, patience, kindness, and great love. I am praying with the psalmist:

"Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

For behold, those who are far from you shall perish; you put an end to everyone who is unfaithful to you. But for me it is good to be near God; I have made the Lord God my refuge, that I may tell of all your works." Psalm 73-25-28

I must admit, though, that it’s a drag and I wish that rather than wading through this, Fred and I were enjoying our one date-night-night of this trip.

But still! What a blessed gal I am! So much to be thankful for. And of course I’m 100% willing and eager to apologize to whomever I’ve offended. I want to do everything I can to make it right.

But it’s hard to keep it in perspective, isn’t it?

That’s my battle tonight and I think it’s going to require some time in the Word and prayer to remember the Truth and the true palette of my life–my identity–who I am and what my life is like (and how it is NOT determined by what others say about me).

OK. Enough processing. Time for more praying.

Hope you didn’t have any email surprises waiting for you tonight!

We’re a tired but relatively happy Barthel crew around here–

Sending you love,
Tara B.

Can’t believe we’re only one week away from Pastor Anyabwile’s keynote at the Peacemaker Conference! I’m psyched. I just love his blog. What a churchman!

Today he linked to a great quote from Between Two Worlds:

The Answer to Practical Problems Must Involve Robust Doctrine

(It’s a great quote, but I’d skip the comments. Nothing too edifying there.)

Here’s a snippet to tempt you:

"Theology exists in order to be applied to the day-to-day problems of the Christian church. Every doctrine has its application ...

(Re: Paul ...) It’s not only that you have the emphasis on the unity between theology and practice but you have the emphasis on the applicability of the profoundest theology to the most mundane and most common-place problems. Who would ever imagine that the response to the glory of the incarnation might be to give to the collection for the poor? Who might imagine that the application of the glories of New Testament Christology might be to stop our quarreling and our divisiveness in the Christian ekklesia?

That is what Paul is doing here. He is telling them: You have these practical problems; the answer is theological; remember your theology and place your behavior in the light of that theology. Place your little problems in the light of the most massive theology."

Amen!

And thanks again, Pastor Anyabwile.

Blessings!
– Tara B.

Fred’s home sick now too. Soph continues to decline–but she’s such a sweet little trooper. Even tolerates the Zycam NOSE SWAB that neither Fred nor I will put up with.

And yes, I’m disinfecting everything and anything including our toothbrushes. AND thanking God for Aquaphor. (We love Aquaphor!)

Besides caring for an ailing family, I HAVE TO get a paid writing project done today–but other than that, I don’t have many goals for the day.

I don’t know why, but this morning I thought of one of the first poems I ever memorized as a brand-new baby Christian. I must’ve been, what? 14 or 15 years old?

"Little lamb, who made thee?
Dost thou know who made thee,
Gave thee life, and bade thee feed
By the stream and o’er the mead;
Gave thee clothing of delight,
Softest clothing, wooly, bright;
Gave thee such a tender voice,
Making all the vales rejoice?
Little lamb, who made thee?
Dost thou know who made thee?

Little lamb, I’ll tell thee;
Little lamb, I’ll tell thee:
He is called by thy name,
For He calls Himself a lamb,
He is meek, and He is mild,
He became a little child;
I a child, and thee a Lamb,
We are called by His Name.
Little lamb, God bless thee!
Little lamb, God bless thee!"

Preach it, Mssr. Blake!

Back to the battle–

Yours,
Tara B.

Our entire church is reading through Isaiah right now and today we reached chapter 30.

Enjoy and be drawn to worship by just a few verses:

Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you, and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you. For the Lord is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him.

For a people shall dwell in Zion, in Jerusalem; you shall weep no more.

He will surely be gracious to you at the sound of your cry. As soon as he hears it, he answers you. And though the Lord give you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, yet your Teacher will not hide himself anymore, but your eyes shall see your Teacher. And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, “This is the way, walk in it ...”

Oh, I do long for that day, don’t you? But as we wait, I rejoice that the Holy Spirit lives in us! His Kingdom HAS come and IS COMING and WILL COME.

“My only comfort in life and in death is that I am not my own–but belong with all my body and soul to my Savior, Jesus Christ.”

Blessed Thursday to you!

Yours,
Tara B.

As our pastor preaches through Galatians, our entire church is reading through Martin Luther’s preface to Galatians (the abridgement and paraphrase by Tim Keller–we’re not reading it in German or anything ).

This week we have been encouraged and refreshed by “The Doctrine of Workmanship” (applying Galatians 1.10 - 2.10).

I feel like retyping the entire excerpt! But instead, I’ll just give you a few highlights:

"The word workmanship is very important; it is the Greek word poema–from which we get our word, “poem.” It means that every believer is essentially a work of art–God’s art!

Consider how artists work ... sometimes they do very little, only a stroke here or there. Other times they make massive changes. But always they seek to bring the raw material into line with an artistic vision. Thus Paul is telling us that God labors over all believers throughout our entire lives, intervening and guiding and shaping us to bring us into line with a vision he has for us ...

Paul uses this “doctrine of workmanship” like a pair of spectacles through which to view his entire life."

How grateful I am for God’s work in my life! Protecting me; waking me up to things I had previously doubted and denied; showing me the weaknesses and flaws in myself; showing me my value to Him.

Grace grace grace! I truly am a grateful grace junkie.

Happy Monday to you!

Yours,
Tara B.

Woke up with a fever of 101.5 and it’s only been going up up up and since then.

Amazed at God’s grace in helping me to get Sophie through ALL of her lessons first thing this morning (even with me lying prone because the room was spinning and I moved into “grab a bucket” mode–ick!) ... and then that our dear friend would call RIGHT THEN and say, “Let me swing by and take Sophie for a playdate so you can sleep!” What grace.

Now I’m trying to return the most urgent emails and GET TO SLEEP.

But I saw this great post over at TheResurgence and wanted to be sure to share it with you before I climb back into bed:

Six Study Essentials

Hope you’re not sick too!

Happy Thursday–

Love,
Tara B.

We’re still loving doing the First Catechism with Sophia every day. (Although I’m starting to seek counsel as to what we should have her work on memorizing next, since it seems as though she might be done with all 150 questions in the next few months. We already do other Bible memory verses and we started memorizing a poem a week too–but I was thinking of something LONG and EXTENDED so that we have to really work at it. Maybe an entire BOOK of the Bible? Hmmmmmmmmmm .... Please let me know if you have any ideas!)

ANYWAY ...

What made me think of the Catechism was the fact that this morning as I walked Lili, I was thinking about:

Q. 94: How should you keep the Lord’s Day?
A. I should rest from my daily work and faithfully worship God.

And I was further reflecting on how pleasant it will be to actually get to REST today because Fred (WISELY!) helped me to be diligent yesterday after we got home from our long family bike ride. All I wanted to do was RELAX but he encouraged me to work hard and THEN relax. He reminded me that I will enjoy the Sabbath even more if I am diligent with my duties today. And he was RIGHT. I worked for HOURS to do laundry, scrub bathrooms, remake beds, dust, wipe, swiffer, pay bills, reconcile off our month on Quicken, etc. etc. And today will be so much more RESTFUL (and pleasant!) as a result.

Another thing I was grateful for this morning was that I didn’t lose my second Golden Retriever this week! I could have, though, very easily because one of the mornings when Lili and I took orders to the post office on our morning walk, I THOUGHT I had looped her leash through the bike rack (like usual)–but when I came out (cars zipping in and out, people everywhere, two VERY busy streets RIGHT THERE) ... she was sitting right next to the bike rack WITH HER LEASH ATTACHED TO NOTHING. I must’ve looped it into AIR–but there she sat. OH! I know that really smart dogs do this every day–but we didn’t choose Lilikoi for her brains and I was SHOCKED that she was just sitting there, safe and sound. What a grace.

Of course, the thing I’m looking forward to the most today is gathering corporately and hear God’s Word preached by our wonderful intern, Bryce Waller, and to worship and pray with our church family! What a gift of God’s mercy that we have the freedom and privilege to worship publicly. This freedom was bought at a great price, as I was reminded of again yesterday when I was at my friends' home and saw their son’s Purple Heart framed with the photo of him being treated on the battlefield, his fellow soldiers encircling him and the medic, still firing away at the enemy around them.

This is the psalm that is framed with the photo and the Purple Heart:

"For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways." Psalm 91:11

Sophie said that God kept that bullet from doing even more damage and of course she is right. But oh oh oh. I just don’t have words to say.

And so I’ll stop! Time to get our family out the door to church–

Enjoy your Sabbath!

Yours,
Tara B.

After a strong recommendation from Noel Piper in a bookstore mailing from WTS, I ordered a number of books by Helen Roseveare. This week I started Give Me This Mountain and I am thoroughly enjoying it.

I also had to chuckle when I did a quick Google search of her name to learn a little more about her–and I found out that Snopes & TruthOrFiction had to do entries on her because of a story that has circulated around email-land for years re: a dying baby, a hot water bottle, and a doll.

(BTW–Please please oh PLEASE don’t ever forward any emails, well, really to ANYONE EVER–with limited exceptions–but FOR SURE without checking Snopes.com to determine if what you just read is a BIG FAT URBAN LEGEND. Ergh.)

Anyway ... THIS story is TRUE and worth repeating. Hope you enjoy!

G'nite and God bless!

Love,
Tara B.

THE HOT WATER BOTTLE - A True Story By Helen Roseveare, Missionary to Africa

One night, in Central Africa, I had worked hard to help a mother in the labor ward; but in spite of all that we could do, she died leaving us with a tiny, premature baby and a crying, two-year-old daughter.

We would have difficulty keeping the baby alive. We had no incubator. We had no electricity to run an incubator, and no special feeding facilities. Although we lived on the equator, nights were often chilly with treacherous drafts.

A student-midwife went for the box we had for such babies and for the cotton wool that the baby would be wrapped in. Another went to stoke up the fire and fill a hot water bottle. She came back shortly, in distress, to tell me that in filling the bottle, it had burst. Rubber perishes easily in tropical climates. “...and it is our last hot water bottle!” she exclaimed. As in the West, it is no good crying over spilled milk; so, in Central Africa it might be considered no good crying over a burst water bottle. They do not grow on trees, and there are no drugstores down forest pathways. All right," I said, “Put the baby as near the fire as you safely can; sleep between the baby and the door to keep it free from drafts. Your job is to keep the baby warm.”

The following noon, as I did most days, I went to have prayers with many of the orphanage children who chose to gather with me. I gave the youngsters various suggestions of things to pray about and told them about the tiny baby. I explained our problem about keeping the baby warm enough, mentioning the hot water bottle. The baby could so easily die if it got chilled. I also told them about the two-year-old sister, crying because her mother had died. During the prayer time, one ten-year-old girl, Ruth, prayed with the usual blunt consciousness of our African children. “Please, God,” she prayed, “send us a water bottle. It’ll be no good tomorrow, God, the baby’ll be dead; so, please send it this afternoon.” While I gasped inwardly at the audacity of the prayer, she added by way of corollary, “ ...And while You are about it, would You please send a dolly for the little girl so she’ll know You really love her?” As often with children’s prayers, I was put on the spot. Could I honestly say, “Amen?” I just did not believe that God could do this. Oh, yes, I know that He can do everything: The Bible says so, but there are limits, aren’t there? The only way God could answer this particular prayer would be by sending a parcel from the homeland. I had been in Africa for almost four years at that time, and I had never, ever received a parcel from home. Anyway, if anyone did send a parcel, who would put in a hot water bottle? I lived on the equator!

Halfway through the afternoon, while I was teaching in the nurses' training school, a message was sent that there was a car at my front door. By the time that I reached home, the car had gone, but there, on the veranda, was a large twenty-two pound parcel! I felt tears pricking my eyes. I could not open the parcel alone; so, I sent for the orphanage children. Together we pulled off the string, carefully undoing each knot. We folded the paper, taking care not to tear it unduly. Excitement was mounting. Some thirty or forty pairs of eyes were focused on the large cardboard box. From the top, I lifted out brightly colored, knitted jerseys. Eyes sparkled as I gave them out. Then, there were the knitted bandages for the leprosy patients, and the children began to look a little bored. Next, came a box of mixed raisins and sultanas - - that would make a nice batch of buns for the weekend. As I put my hand in again, I felt the...could it really be? I grasped it, and pulled it out. Yes, “A brand-new rubber, hot water bottle!” I cried. I had not asked God to send it; I had not truly believed that He could. Ruth was in the front row of the children. She rushed forward, crying out, “If God has sent the bottle, He must have sent the dolly, too!” Rummaging down to the bottom of the box, she pulled out the small, beautifully dressed dolly. Her eyes shone: She had never doubted! Looking up at me, she asked, “Can I go over with you, Mummy, and give this dolly to that little girl, so she’ll know that Jesus really loves her?”

That parcel had been on the way for five whole months, packed up by my former Sunday School class, whose leader had heard and obeyed God’s prompting to send a hot water bottle, even to the equator. One of the girls had put in a dolly for an African child – five months earlier in answer to the believing prayer of a ten-year-old to bring it “That afternoon!” "And it shall come to pass, that before they call, I will answer; and while they are yet speaking, I will hear." Isaiah 65:24

(Helen Roseveare a doctor missionary from England to Zaire, Africa, told this as it had happened to her in Africa. She shared it in her testimony on a Wednesday night at Thomas Road Baptist Church.)

Recently, I’ve been troubled by two memories and this morning I figured out why.

- The first is just ONE LINE from a (wonderful!) sermon I heard recently. It had to do with a woman being confronted by her husband and (over)-responding with despair and (extreme) anxiety. The pastor (whose sermon was otherwise brilliant and gospel-soaked), made some sort of passing comment about her "temper tantrum." This troubled me.

- The second is a blog comment that a man once made in response to a question Pastor JollyBlogger posted on his (wonderful!) blog having to do with why certain women in his church struggle so much with ungodly shame. I had left a blog comment with an excerpt from the chapter in Judy’s and my book that addresses shame and in response, this blog commenter (not Pastor JollyBlogger!) said, "Those women just need a healthy dose of CALVIN!" I remember thinking, “He’s right. But this troubles me.”

This morning I figured out why ... both of these comments were TRUE. But they were not very GRACIOUS.

The truth is that the woman who responded by pulling back, running away, and over-reacting could have been, in fact, having some sort of a “temper tantrum.” And God’s grace and truth were calling her to change; growing her in conformity to Christ–and the pastor did a lovely job of illustrating this. But to simply discount her reaction as ONLY a “temper tantrum” is, I think, to miss something important about HOW we minister the gospel to one another ...

To GRACIOUSLY bring truth to her, we would first have to understand WHY her heart responded this way. Maybe, like many of us, every single time she had ever been confronted in her childhood and early adult years, THE PERSON KICKED HER OUT OR LEFT. Especially when the person confronting you and then ordering you out of your home is a PARENT? Well ... it can take awhile to believe that the person confronting you TODAY isn’t going to treat you the same way.

Likewise, the blog commenter. If we’re struggling with ungodly shame, would a big dose of CALVIN help? You bet!! But to stand up on our pedestal, look down on someone who is terrified and distraught and proclaim, “YOU JUST NEED A BIG DOSE OF CALVIN!”?? Well ... I just don’t recall Jesus ever doing anything like that in the gospels. Instead, He entered into the lives of the people (sinners!) around Him. He got to know them. He compassionately helped to provide for their physical needs (food, safety). And yes–He brought Truth to them. But for we desperate sinners whose eyes are downcast because of the weight of our guilt? He brought Grace. He gave His own very Self.

There is so much more I could write on these topics–encouraged along by an early morning re-reading of Randy Alcorn’s lovely little book, "The Grace and Truth Paradox". But Lilikoi is itching for our walk and I’ve been doing so well this month walking for an hour every morning (and I feel SO much better as a result!) that I really must scoot.

I hope that your Friday is filled with both Grace and Truth!

Yours,
Tara B.

PS
Don’t forget! It’s not too late to get a free copy of my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE Christian Counseling and Educational Foundation ("CCEF") booklet:

Pleasure (by David Powlison)

All you have to do is leave a comment letting me know you’re interested by midnight Saturday (August 16), and I’ll pop a copy in the mail to you. (Oh! You might want to be sure that I have your snail-mail address too. You can email it to me at info@tarabarthel.com.)

Don’t worry about SPAM or getting on some marketing list ... I would NEVER disclose your contact information to ANYONE without your explicit permission. I’ve just really been helped by this little booklet and I’d like to share it with you! I posted an excerpt earlier in the week if you’d like to check it out. Blessings! – tkb

Oh! I really didn’t plan to be the linking blog girl–but these are just TOO GOOD to not pass along:

- We Watch TBN So You Don’t Have To! (HT: Church Matters. I’m still laughing at the line, “Those, gentle reader, are the two least sexy sentences ever uttered.”)

- William Tyndale–A Life Transformed by God’s Word (HT: RadicalWomanhood and John Piper)

OK. Now we’re leaving for our walk. I mean it.

Blessings!
– Tara B.

The words to Sophie’s newest Suzuki violin song are actually incredibly worshipful and I thought you might enjoy them on this wonderful Sabbath day (and every day!):

O Come Little Children

O come, little children, O come one and all,
To Bethlehem haste, to the manger so small,
God’s Son for a gift has been sent you this night
To be your Redeemer, your joy and delight.

He’s born in a stable for you and for me,
Draw near by the bright gleaming starlight to see,
In swaddling clothes lying so meek and so mild,
And purer than angels the heavenly Child.

See Mary and Joseph, with love beaming eyes,
Are gazing upon the rude bed where He lies,
The shepherds are kneeling, with hearts full of love
While angels sing loud hallelujahs above.

Kneel down and adore Him with shepherds today,
Lift up little hands now and praise Him as they
Rejoice that a Saviour from sin you can boast,
And join in the song of the heavenly host.

My friend told a great story this week at friend/prayer group about how her family was on a trip over the 4th of July and her husband wanted to try to find a spot by a lake to watch the fireworks–but they weren’t that familiar with the area and it was hard/inconvenient to try to figure out where to park, how to find anything in the dark (after wrestling young children into jeans and putting on bug repellant), etc. etc. She said she was tempted to grouse and complain, but grace prevailed (at least externally), and she dutifully got the kids ready and schlepped through the dark with the family.

AND THEN ...

It was just the most glorious night ever. They found a perfect spot on a perfect beach, snuggled under blankets, ooooh’d and aaaahh’d over the show, everyone getting along, the children leaning happily against one another–you know, one of those (VERY RARE) times when real life really does look like something you’d see on a Folgers Christmas commercial.

Listening to her retell the story with tears in her eyes over God’s grace to give her family such a sweet memory, I reflected on just how many times I grouse and complain (even if “only” in my heart), kick and scream, even WAIL ... all the way to a blessing beyond anything I could have ever imagined.

How great the Father’s love is for us, His oft' doubting children!
He delights in giving good gifts to His children.
He truly, truly does.

It is God’s CHARACTER to be a loving and good Father–especially to children whose thoughts and behaviors are often selfish and rotten.

A good reminder on a Thursday night and every night!

We’re about to enjoy a little date night with our favorite Chinese takeout and an episode of “House MD” on HuLu.com, so I need to sign off.

G'nite and God bless!

Sending you love–
Tara B.

PS
I’m loving being at home with Sophia (and Lili):



It’s great to reconnect with Fred and be able to serve our friends here more consistently too.

Last night our church had a wedding shower for BrittleCrazyGlass (one of the most godly, intelligent, and modest–but also one of the most stunningly beautiful–women I’ve ever seen). The organizers did an incredible job not only honoring the future bride, but also of reminding us all how precious our own marriages are. They had us drop off our wedding albums in advance and did a little game based on stories from our weddings.

OH MY STARS! If your church has never done such a thing, I HIGHLY recommend it. It was SO incredibly FUN to see wedding photos from the families in our church! And to hear the stories? Let me tell you, I NEVER would’ve guessed that a certain mild-mannered church leader was CLARK KENT GORGEOUS on his wedding day! Nor would I have known that another of our members (who is simply one of the most godly men I’ve ever met) would’ve CHUCKED A CHESS BOARD AT A WALL during his honeymoon. (He was, apparently, immediately regretful. )

G'nite again–

Love,
t

This is too fun! And insightful too:

Wordle of New Testament Books

(HT: 9Marks!)

Pastor Anyabwile continues to knock it out of the park on his PureChurch blog:

Repentance and the 21st Century Man

He includes a lengthy quote by C. John Miller. Consider just an excerpt (emphases mine):

"Effective counseling is principally a carrying forward in private of specific applications of the preaching ministry in the church. The gospel message is announced boldly in a public context and given added effectiveness by a one-to-one follow-up in dealing with particular idols which Christ wants removed from each of our lives. Such confrontation in preaching and counseling involves a sensitivity to the heart cries of men. It combines tears and truth, as we bow together before the discipline of God’s Word.

The warfare here is spiritual and calls for great courage on the part of God’s ambassadors.

Courage!

Courage to ask if you are lulling men to sleep by a message that fosters self-congratulation rather than repentance to life.

Courage first to teach your own heart and then to teach others that there are only two ways to stand before God: either as a contrite publican or as a self-righteous Pharisee (Luke 18:9-14)."

I love to read testimonies and this one is a keeper:

The Greatest College Basketball Player of All Time

Thanks, Pastor Mahanney, for another (edifying! fun!) wonderful read.

We’re very happy to be in Chicago!

Everything went fine flying out from Billings yesterday (and my wonderful local NWA crew even upgraded us ALL, so that was fun!):



We’re off to American Girl place in about an hour but (as usual), I’m up early. I am really praying for the grace to be praying! Sometimes I can just be SO discouraged and “off” on vacations.

- Is it like CS Lewis described in one of his essays? I’m just out of my routines in general so it can be easy to be out of my spiritual discipline routines too?

- Sometimes I just get SO annoyed with myself! I KNOW I’m coming across as unhappy or unpleasant ... but I don’t know how to CHANGE! I’m actually really GRATEFUL to be here, but at the same time I can feel frustrated and easily annoyed. (1 Corinthians 13! Easily annoyed is the OPPOSITE of love! ERGH!!)

- I want to just RELAX and be someone who is EASY to be around. But oh oh oh! It’s my propensity to organize the bags (one more time), get things ready (one more time!), not know how to just BE. But at least I recognize it, right? That’s a step. It’s growth to even see my need, I know.

And so I’d better get going.

Fred’s doing a great job leading our family and carefully (though not perfectly!) setting a better tone for our family on this trip. Those wonderful articles by CJ Mahanney on Vacations have really helped him. He printed them off and we’re referring to them. And PRAYING. (Hooray!)

I’ll try to post more pictures later. THANK YOU for the blog comments and prayers!! I do so appreciate it. I’m not sure you can imagine how much.

I pray that Sophia enjoys our special day with a happy and grateful heart! She loves being here with Kali & Fred.



Blessed Saturday to you!

Yours,
Tara B.

Thinking a lot about my personal Bible reading these days ...

And I’ve been blessed by the entries on the topic over at New Attitude. You might be interested in clicking on over:

Al Mohler on Personal Bible Reading

Mark Dever on Personal Bible Reading

Quoting Mark Dever: “Just keep going. Aim at obedience in a long direction set in a pattern for decades. If you just keep going you’ll gain so much by consistency and faithfulness that there’s no way you can gain just by sudden experience.”

Amen!

Off to read my Bible now ...

Love,
Tara B.

If you know anyone in seminary–or anyone who has BEEN to seminary–you may want to point them in the direction of this great post by Derek Jones:

How to Waste Your Theological Education

(HT: Church Matters-9Marks)

A recent blog commenter asked me if I had any recommendations for a good daily devotional book ... and I thought I’d pitch the question up to a real post and ask for your advice too.

What daily devotional books would you recommend as being particularly encouraging and edifying in your walk with the Lord?

We have been reading John Piper’s Taste and See in our family’s devotions and that’s been a blessing to us.

And I’ve been (off and on) reading A Year with Dietrich Bonhoeffer: Daily Meditations from His Letters, Writings, and Sermons. It’s great.

Ed Welch’s latest book, Running Scared: Fear, Worry, and the God of Rest, is not an official “devotional,” but the chapters are short and meant to be read slowly and savored. I highly recommend it.

So what about you guys? What do you recommend?

Recently, a young woman approached me for counsel regarding something that had happened to her years earlier.

I don’t know all of the details, but the little I know indicates that some things that were COMPLETELY out of her control had brought some severe suffering into her life and the lives of others. But also? Some things in the situation, she undoubtedly had a CERTAIN amount of influence and responsibility for. (Isn’t that often the case in life?)

Anyway ... for years, she has been CRUSHED by guilt and she feels as though she “just can’t get over it.”

She asked me:

"What if it’s MY fault? What if I did this?"

So I responded ... "Let’s say that you did it ALL. It was ALL your fault. It was ALL your sin. You intentionally set out to sin against this person. You MEANT to do evil. You WANTED to hurt the other person and you did. What then?"

She just looked at me. Stared. Terrified. “I don’t know,” she replied.

I told her:

"The Cure is the same. Repentance, confessions, and forgiveness. Repentance, confession, and forgiveness. It’s the Christian walk!

If you confess your sin, God is faithful and just to forgive your sin and purify you from ALL unrighteousness.

This is your only hope. My only hope. THE only Hope."

But then, of course, I added that this situation is probably NOT 100% “your fault”, is it? (She shook her head–"No, probably not.") You didn’t WANT this horrible thing to happen, did you? ("No.") You didn’t 100% set out to INTENTIONALLY do evil in this situation, did you? ("No.")

But you probably did sin some. You probably made some foolish/unwise decisions. (Because no one is perfect except for God!) BUT ... you are a fallen person living in a fallen world filled with fallen people. The effects of sin are everywhere. Our bodies are fragile. Life is terribly hard at times.

We are a desperate people in desperate need of a Rescuer, a Savior.
Praise God we have One!

"And there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."

Amen & Amen!

And blessed Sabbath to you tomorrow–

Yours,
Tara B.

Oh my! But I was SO blessed by the Lord as I read and re-read Exodus 33 & 34 today.

I encourage you to flip on over to these incredible chapters in the Old Testament and see the Gospel!

- God’s covenant to be our God
- God goes with us and is our REST
- He covers us
- God is compassionate and gracious, abounding in love and faithfulness!

Oh my. But I needed that today (and every day!).

Grace to you–

With love from West Virginia,
Tara B.

I have so many friends who just SQUIRT out wisdom. In casual conversations, when teaching God’s Word, shopping at Target, running a meeting ... these women are simply FOUNTAINS of wisdom from heaven:

"Who is wise and understanding among you? By his good conduct let him show his works in the meekness of wisdom. But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace." James 3:13-17

Today one of these friends made the comment that it takes MORE compassion to deal with people who are caught in legalism; we need MORE compassion, NOT less.

Oh! How right she is.

I am seeing more clearly how WHEN I GET SCARED, I can be tempted to PULL BACK from people. That “pulling back” can come across as a criticism or judgment ... and it surely is NOT loving compassion.

Fred also reminded me over dinner that it is VERY (VERY!) easy for people to feel criticized and/or judged simply by another person making a DIFFERENT decision or choice. (Bottle or breast? Family bed or crib? Have children in your early 20’s? Intentionally postpone until your 30’s? Public/classical/homeschool? And on and on.)

I am so grateful that I have such wise, winsome, humble, enjoyable women in my life. They help me to grow in grace and I thank God for them.

Hope you had a good Tuesday! I was still tempted to be incredibly GROUCHY, but God gave me MUCH grace. He always does. Grace sufficient for the day!

G'nite & God bless,
Tara B.

Tim Challies hit it out of the park again with a fantastic blog on friendship/accountability.

Let me tease you with a tiny excerpt and then encourage you to pop on over to his site to read the entire post:

"Too many accountability relationships end there. They are incomplete, ending with sin or with sympathy. Confession is necessary and we may well sympathize with one another as we discuss sins that are common to all men. But we cannot and must not end there. Instead we must take those sins to the cross.

My pastor gave the wise advice Wednesday night that we must be prepared not only to look each other in the eyes to ask about sin, but also to look each other in the eyes and preach Jesus. We need more than confession and sympathy—we need the cross of Jesus Christ; we need the gospel so we can draw out that infection. We need to admonish, challenge, advise and always preach the gospel. As Harris says, “The most important thing we can do for each other when we talk about sin and temptation is to remind each other of God’s provision for our sin—the Cross of Jesus Christ.”

This is the kind of friends, the kind of brothers, we need to be. We need to be brothers who will ask the difficult questions—who will apply the heat—so that we can help one another draw out the infection.

“Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12)."

Earlier this week I had a troubled night ... restless, intense dreams, awake multiple times with FAILURE after FAILURE, SIN after SIN just pummeling my heart and mind.

But one time in the night I awoke from my tossing and turning and found I was singing inside my heart:

"No guilt in life! No fear in death! This is the power of Christ in me!"

And then I went to sleep.

Today? I am here, weak, tired, a little sad ... but SO longing to encourage and bless these dear women! SO longing to worship God and help others to do the same.

And this is the cry of my oft-lazy, sin-tempted heart:

"When Satan tempts me to despair and tells me of the sin within, upwards I look and see Him there! Who made an end to all my sin.

Because the sinless Savior died
My sinful soul is counted free
For God the JUST is satisfied
To look on Him and pardon me!

To look on Him and pardon me."

The gospel! The gospel!

The glorious Truth that sinful people like me CAN be and ARE forgiven.

Please pray for me if I flit through your brain this weekend. Other than my “speaker–into croaker–into whisperer–into couldn’t make a sound to save my life gal” women’s retreat in Alaska years and years ago, I don’t know when I’ve been so sick and had so many hours of standing on my feet teaching ahead of me.

May God help me to serve well! (He does. He does.)

Happy, Blessed Friday to you–

Yours,
Tara B.

I received an email this morning from a dear woman who was actually one of my very VERY first “Tara’s doing a women’s retreat / not a formal Peacemaker Ministries staff member” event hosts. (I remember how AMAZED Fred and I were that our family had the honor of serving those women, their families, and their churches in that way. We’re still humbled and amazed.)

ANYWAY ... she made an off-hand comment about some of the ministries in which she is serving. (She is one of those people who serves and serves, but usually in secret–so people have NO IDEA in this life. But we’ll see the jewels in her crown at Jesus' feet in the next.)

And, though CONTENT and JOYFUL, she did mention how she “still doesn’t really feel that she has found her place.”

I responded to her something to the effect of:

It is a grace to just persevere and do the next thing, I think.

The longer I live, the more I am convinced that RARE is the person who feels as though they “find their place.” But there is a lot of love and ministry and service provided by people who do what they can with the energy, time, resources they have.

And I would add to that now just how much good COULD be done by people if they would STOP waiting for “the perfect fit” or “their happy place” or something that “feels right.”

This woman? SHE IS SERVING. With contentment and joy–given her present circumstances. To me? That’s faith. Love. Courage. Gospel living in action.

Thank you, D.T. for reminding me of what’s important.

So ... back to MY task for the morning.

Happy Thursday!
Happy first day of spring!

Love,
Tara B.

PS
One of the reasons I dug up Dave’s essay is because I am totally trying to preach the gospel to myself this morning.

I had something very disturbing happen on my third flight yesterday (it was actually two of the worst hours I’ve ever spent in my life!). I shook for two hours on the plane and then had to–TRY TO–switch into “pleasant Tara meet the event hosts” mode ... but really all I wanted to do was CRY and RUN AWAY.

Couldn’t sleep last night–pretty much ALL night–and now I have to pull myself together to get ready, pack, and go to serve.

Please do pray for me. I truly want to serve well.

Oh–and just in case you’re wondering WHAT happened–I can’t go into details about the flight. To do so would be to tell someone else’s story and I don’t have permission to do that. Plus, since I will never see this person again, it’s just over and I have to “feel it, grieve it, and move on.”

Still ... I’m shaking even now.

Errrrrgh! This life can be so hard. And remembering suffering Christians around the world; our suffering soldiers deployed overseas ... doesn’t make our miniscule suffering go away, does it?

Remember the gospel! Feel and grieve it and move on. Guess I’m still in the feeling and grieving it mode.

When we were at Target last week, I asked Sophie what a bunny rabbit has to do with Easter. She responded, “He hides easter eggs for us to find.”

"No, love-bug. No. The answer is NOTHING. The easter bunny has NOTHING to do with easter."

“Soph, what is Easter about?”

“Jesus!”
“Yes. The resurrection of Jesus”

HOWEVER ... I’m all for silly & fun traditions and we WERE in Target to get Scouty and Sophie their blingy $5 matching springy outfits for our annual easter egg hunt and ride on the Helena carousel.

STILL ... preparing to celebrate Palm Sunday and Easter has reminded ME TOO of what REALLY matters ... and I remembered that my “spiritual papa” (Cap'n Dave) wrote a great essay on this topic years ago when he was still on staff with Peacemaker Ministries. I hope he won’t mind me sharing it with you.

Let’s all remember the hope we have as we plow through our Fridays, OK?

Yours,
Tara B.

Resurrection – Accepting the Consequences of God’s Peacemaking
by David Edling
(former) Director of Church Relations
Peacemaker Ministries

If you are familiar with our materials, you will know that “Accept the consequences” is one of the “Seven A’s” of confession. When we confess our sin completely, proof of the sincerity and genuineness of that confession is communicated we willingly take responsibility for the damage and hurt we have caused by “accepting the consequences”.

Our confession of Christ as Savior and Lord similarly carries with it the necessity to accept the consequences; proof that our professions are genuine. As we approach Easter, I have been thinking about how accepting God’s gift of eternal life in Christ also means accepting the reality that it was my sin that made Christ’s death on the cross necessary. Realizing this was, for me, the first step in recognizing my need for a savior who could completely and effectively take responsibility for the damage and hurt my sin has and will cause. The sacrifice for my sin was not, and could not be, borne by me, but only by the One who knew no sin. Therefore, only Jesus Christ could be a true spotless lamb, acceptable as the only genuine sacrifice, bringing reconciliation between me and the one I had sinned against, my creator, God the Father of all (see Revelation 5).

This is the gospel, the good news that my sins are forgiven in Christ, because He alone is worthy. All who have stopped trusting in their own worthless sacrifice and have trusted in Christ for eternal life know well what I have just said.

But how often do we stop to think about the other consequence, the present consequence of the resurrection? The present reality of resurrection life is often not among the consequences I think of when I think of accepting the consequences of the gospel. And yet, that consequence is the one the apostle Paul highlights when he speaks of the reality and consequence of the good news.

Consider 1 Corinthians 15:16-17, “For if the dead are not raised, then Christ has not been raised either. And if Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile; you are still in your sins.” And verse 19, “If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are to be pitied more than all men.” Paul is saying quite pointedly that I need to recognize above all else the present reality of the resurrection. This is because my faith and my hope in the sacrifice for my sins is directly tied to the present reality of Christ’s resurrection. Without the resurrection, I am still lost and perishing in sin! The reality of Christ’s resurrection is the proof that the consequence of my confession, in Christ, for my sin is genuine and sincere and worthy of eternal forgiveness. How can this be? How can Christ’s resurrection be proof that I have presently accepted the consequences for my sins?

The answer to such a question can, of course, only be found in Christ. Paul explains it this way. “Don’t you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life. If we have been united with him like this in his death, we will certainly also be united with him in his resurrection.” (Romans 6:3-5) Christ’s resurrection stands as proof that my acceptance of the consequences for my sins, my need for death and a new birth in newness of life, will stand as genuine and sincere proof that my sin has been forgiven. I, too, will be raised in resurrection just as He was raised. The present and immediate consequence I must accept as a result of God’s peacemaking in Christ is my own resurrection! What a consequence! What a joyful burden!

Furthermore, the present reality of my resurrection bears consequences for today. “The death he died, he died to sin once for all; but the life he lives, he lives to God. In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus." (Romans 6:10-11) Being “dead to sin and alive to God” means I can boldly accept the consequences, resisting temptation to escape or attack, and always humbly confess whenever I sin and damage and hurt others. I can do that with confidence because I have accepted the present consequence of God’s peacemaking, the resurrection reality!

As I celebrate the resurrection of Christ this Easter, I will have that special opportunity, once again, to remember all that my baptism signifies, and the burden I now joyfully bear, the present consequence of being one who is dead to sin and alive to God. As a fellow resurrection being, join with me and accept the consequences of the greatest act of peacemaking ever displayed: the death and resurrection of Christ Jesus, King of kings, Lord of lords, and Peacemaker of peacemakers.

“God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God (2 Corinthians 5:21).”

Enjoying again William P. Smith’s Caught of Guard–Encounters with the Unexpected God.



It’s probably helping me the most this morning because I just had to endure (endure sounds like too strong of a word) ... experience (??) an embarrassing (but necessary! and loving, gentle, gospel-infused!) confrontational conversation with Fred.

He has observed a sin in me and has been praying about how and when to talk with me about it. And this morning was the time.

I was and am so ashamed. Ahhhh–but this is good shame. Godly shame–conviction!–that leads to repentance and faith and helps me to a) SEE; and b) TURN AWAY FROM sin.

But as loving and gentle and God-centered and redemptive and HOPEFUL as it was, this conversation was still a DRAG. Who likes to face her sin? NOT ME! Who enjoys having her husband confront her? NOT ME! Who is mortified? ME ME ME.

But most of all ... I am GRATEFUL.
Grateful that Fred loves me enough to help me.
Grateful that God does not give up on me–and neither does Fred.

Grateful that rather than condemning me (which I deserve!), Jesus intercedes for me.

"What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? Who shall bring any charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us.

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written, “For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.”

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:31-38

NOT EVEN MY SIN.
No.
Nothing can separate me from God.

Thank You, Lord!
And thank you, Fred.

Back into our day! Ballet this afternoon! Fun fun.

Trust God!

Yours,
Tara B.

I met with my pastor yesterday. We’ve been meeting regularly for a few months now. I’m helping him a tiny bit with a project and he’s helping me a TON with, well, lots of stuff.

He helps to hold me accountable with my ongoing battle of faith’s fight against sin re: habitual overeating / gluttony / idolatry of food.

He prays for Fred, Sophie and me and helps me as a parent.

And he gives me advice and counsel on my teaching–which I just can’t even BEGIN to tell you how much I appreciate. Having never been to seminary, I am KEENLY aware of just how much I DON’T know. I try to be careful and biblically-faithful! But oh my ... I’m sure I mess things up a lot. (Or, as he would say–gracious guy that he is–I can “tighten up” and “be clearer” on some points.)

ANYWAY ... during our meeting, he read from Job 14 and reminded me of the riches of God’s grace in forgiving ALL my sins. He was so excited about this passage and said he’s going to preach on it! I can’t wait.

Slow down. Read this carefully. Listen again to just how gracious and forgiving God truly is!

“You will call and I will answer you; you will long for the creature your hands have made. Surely then you will count my steps but not keep track of my sin. My offenses will be sealed up in a bag; you will cover over my sin.” Job 14:15-17

Oh oh oh! Isn’t the only response to such a God, worship?!

That God will count our steps–be with us every moment of every day–when we are our “best” and at our absolute WORST ...

And then, He will seal up our offenses in a bag and COVER OVER our sin.

We owe a debt we could NEVER pay back.

“And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt.” Matthew 18:27

Thank You, God, for Your indescribable grace!

With love from a sleepy girl in Florida,
Tara B.

HT to Pastor JollyBlogger for posting this video by Derek Webb!

Much to do today (hooray! no fever!) ...

But I did a little blog to blog walk and found this convicting read over at “Christ is deeper still.”

There, a pastor writes:

"My dad died this year. I think about him a lot. I drew strength from his love. I miss him.

As a kid growing up, I didn’t need an alarm clock most mornings. I woke up to the sound of my dad, down the hallway, singing in the shower. Every morning he sang heartily, cheerfully, with zero irritation to me, this hymn:

When morning gilds the skies
My heart awaking cries
May Jesus Christ be praised
Alike at work or prayer
To Jesus I repair
May Jesus Christ be praised

I never wondered about my dad. Never once. Never. I knew where he stood. Unlike so many others, he was not hard to read. He did not take a wait-and-see, keep-a-low-profile, play-it-safe approach to life. Jesus was too real and wonderful to him. He praised the Lord openly throughout the whole of his life, public and private. What a man!

I want to be unmistakably easy to read, beginning with my dear family."

I was SO convicted.

My family so often DOES see where I stand and SINFULLY, so often I stand squarely for ME. My comfort. My pleasures.

Oh oh oh! May God have mercy on my soul.
(I know He does.)

To Jesus I repair

Blessed Wednesday to you!

Love,
Tara B.

My pastor, Alfred Poirier, just started a new sermon series on God’s Church in the Last Days.

Surprisingly, he is not preaching it from Revelation or Daniel ... but Thessalonians.

We only had a “brief” (40 minute?) introduction today because it was a communion Sunday ... but it was, as his sermons almost always are, stellar.

So if you’re like me and you’d like to learn more and thus, move away from a “pan-millennial” view of the end times (paraphrasing him this morning, “where I just assume it’ll all PAN OUT in the end”), give yourself a task on your to-do list to check back with our church’s website and listen to the series. (They usually post the sermons by Monday afternoons.)

I’m really looking forward to this series!

Over and over again, he showed us from Scripture how “protology is eschatology”: first things are the seed of last things; last things are concealed in first things. AND how the “last days” were LAUNCHED when Jesus came on the scene.

In particular, I appreciated his exegesis of HOW Paul spoke to the “Jews and God-Fearers Scattered through the Empire” (Acts 17:1-4):

1. Reasoning
2. Explaining
3. Proving
4. Persuading and Joining

Paul did not rant. He preached point by point. He had a close reading of the text (the Old Testament). He took questions, heard objections and criticisms, and showed in Scripture how “this Jesus” was, in fact, The Messiah.

I also CRINGED as he shared a Sam Harris quote. (Sam Harris is a very famous atheist who, apparently, received HATE-FILLED letters FROM CHRISTIANS after the publication of his first book.) He writes:

"The truth is that many who claim to be transformed by Christ’s love are deeply, even murderously, intolerant of criticism."

OUCH! Too true. Too true.

Pastor Alfred exhorted us to NOT be like THIS. But to winsomely, humbly, gently stand for Truth; to bear the name of Christ well because we truly are united with Him and in Him.

We look back, present, and forward to Jesus' coming again!

Maranatha. Come quickly, Lord Jesus!

Blessed Sabbath to you all!
And thanks again, Pastor Alfred, for feeding your sheep so richly from God’s Word.

With love,
Tara B.

I often read Titus 3:3-8 whenever I am asked to speak at a women’s retreat or conference. It is just such a sweet reminder of the gospel! I really love reading it for myself and for the women I have the honor of serving.

If you’d like to read the entire commentary on Titus, it is available in the public domain. I found it easily at Monergism.com:

Matthew Henry’s Commentary on the Whole Bible Volume VI (Acts to Revelation)

I won’t post the entire exegesis here, but I am mulling on a few snippets as I go through my day here in snowy Chicago and I thought they might bless you too. So I’ll highlight a few of them below.

Happy, Blessed Friday to you all!

Your friend,
Tara B.

A Few Notes from Matthew Henry’s Commentary on Titus 3

"For we ourselves also were sometimes foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving divers lusts and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful, and hating one another. But after that the kindness and love of God our Saviour toward man appeared, not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost; Which he shed on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Saviour; That being justified by his grace, we should be made heirs according to the hope of eternal life. This is a faithful saying, and these things I will that thou affirm constantly, that they which have believed in God might be careful to maintain good works. These things are good and profitable unto men." Titus 3:3-8

- The precept regards doing good in all kinds, and on every occasion that may offer, whether resecting God, ourselves, or our neighbour—what may bring credit to religion in the world. - Mere harmlessness, or good words and good meanings only, are not enough without good works.

- To speak evil of no man: medena blasphemein, to revile, or curse, or blaspheme none: or (as our translation more generally) to speak evil of none, unjustly and falsely, or unnecessarily, without call, and when it may do hurt but no good to the person himself or any other. If no good can be spoken, rather than speak evil unnecessarily, say nothing. We must never take pleasure in speaking ill of others.

- From their own past condition. Consideration of men’s natural condition is a great means and ground of equity and gentleness, and all meekness, towards those who are yet in such a state. This has a tendency to abate pride and work pity and hope in reference to those who are yet unconverted: “We ourselves also were so and so, corrupt and sinful, therefore we should not be impatient and bitter, hard and severe, towards those who are but as ourselves once were. Should we then have been willing to be contemned, and proudly and rigorously dealt with? No, but treated with gentleness and humanity; and therefore we should now so treat those who are unconverted, according to that rule of equity: Quod tibi non vis fieri, alteri ne feceris—What you would not have done to you that do not you to another.”

- Their past natural condition is set forth in divers particulars. We ourselves also were sometimes, (1.) Foolish; without true spiritual understanding and knowledge, ignorant of heavenly things. Observe, Those should be most disposed to bear with others' follies who may remember many of their own; those should be meek and gentle, and patient towards others, who once needed and doubtless then expected the same. We ourselves also were sometimes foolish.

- It is the misery of sinners that thy hate one another, as it is the duty and happiness of saints to love one another.

- From their present state. “We are delivered out of that our miserable condition by no merit nor strength of our own; but only by the mercy and free grace of God, and merit of Christ, and operation of his Spirit. Therefore we have no ground, in respect of ourselves, to condemn those who are yet unconverted, but rather to pity them, and cherish hope concerning them, that they, though in themselves as unworthy and unmeet as we were, yet may obtain mercy, as we have:” and so upon this occasion the apostle again opens the causes of our salvation, v. 4-7.

- We have here the prime author of our salvation—God the Father, therefore termed here God our Saviour. All things are of God, who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, 2 Cor. v. 18. All things belonging to the new creation, and recovery of fallen man to life and happiness, of which the apostle is there speaking, all these things are of God the Father, as contriver and beginner of this work.

- Where sin abounded, grace did much more abound. We read of riches of goodness and mercy, Rom. ii. 4; Eph. ii. 7. Let us acknowledge this, and give him the glory of it, not turning it to wantonness, but to thankfulness and obedience.

- Here is the procuring cause of all, namely, Christ: Through Jesus Christ our Saviour. He it is who purchased the Spirit and his saving gifts and graces. All come through him, and through him as a Saviour, whose undertaking and work it is to bring to grace and glory; he is our righteousness and peace, and our head, from whom we have all spiritual life and influences. He is made of God to us wisdom, righteousness, sanctification, and redemption. Let us praise God for him above all; let us go to the Father by him, and improve him to all sanctifying and saving purposes. Have we grace? Let us thank him with the Father and Spirit for it: account all things but loss and dung for the excellency of the knowledge of him, and grow and increase therein more and more.

- Here are the ends why we are brought into this new spiritual condition, namely, justification, and heirship, and hope of eternal life: That, being justified by his grace, we should be made heirs according to the hope of eternal life. Justification in the gospel sense is the free remission of a sinner, and accepting him as righteous through the righteousness of Christ received by faith. In it there is the removing of guilt that bound to punishment, and the accepting and dealing with the person as one that now is righteous in God’s sight.

- Let us not trust therefore in our own righteousness or merit of good works, but in Christ’s righteousness alone, received by faith for justification and acceptance with God … the procuring of all this is by Christ, that, being justified by his grace, we should be made heirs. Observe, Our justification is by the grace of God, and our justification by that grace is necessary in order to our being made heirs of eternal life; without such justification there can be no adoption and sonship, and so no right of inheritance.

Wow! Carolyn McCulley has started a new series over at Radical Womanhood ("because being a biblical woman in a modern world is a radical act"):

Practical Issues for Godly Women

Today’s installment was on elder care (I was JUST talking about that very topic a few nights ago!) and yesterday’s was on "Is Homemaking the Only Priority" (a topic I’m asked about ALL the time of course).

Don’t miss it this series!

(And thanks, Carolyn, for pointing us all to Christ and helping us to remember (and live out!) the gospel in our daily lives!)

Yesterday I promised to post a few notes from the AMAZING issue of CCEF’s Summer 2007 Journal of Biblical Counseling.

I could write many words about every single article, but instead I’ll just start with the editor’s article, The Therapeutic Gospel (by Dr. David Powlison).

Truly. You should read this article! It’s amazing.

Dr. Powlison starts out be quoting the scene in Dostoevsky’s The Brothers Karamazov (yet another classic that I REALLY need to just SLOW DOWN and FINISH one of these days) when (fictionally!) Jesus returns to sixteenth century Spain and the “church authorities” decide to meet the “felt needs” of the people rather than “calling forth the high, holy, and difficult freedom of faith working through love” that Jesus teaches and lives. (The authorities tell Jesus, “We have corrected Your work.”)

This is the therapeutic gospel. And it’s not just in a scene from a Russian novel! It is SO often how “the gospel” is preached, taught, and presented.

- “It centers exclusively around the welfare of man and temporal happiness. It discards the glory of God in Christ.”

- It “does not call for any fundamental change or direction in the human heart.”

- The therapeutic gospel “bypasses the sinful human heart. You are not the agent of your deepest problems, but merely a sufferer and victim of unmet needs. The offer of a cure skips over the sin-bearing Savior. Repentance from unbelief, willfulness, and wickedness is not the issue.” (emphasis added)

- This “gospel” may often use the name of Jesus, “but He has morphed into the meeter-of-your-needs, not the Savior from your sins.”

Dr. Powlison then goes on to remind us in page after page of Scripture and his brilliantly-worded text of the REAL Gospel.

Because of Christ and His true gospel, "my instinctual cravings are replaced by the growing awareness of true, life-and-death needs:

- I need mercy above all else.

- I want to learn wisdom, and unlearn willful self-preoccupation.

- I need to learn to love both God and neighbor.

- I long for God’s name to be honored, for His kingdom to come, for His will to be done on earth.

- I need God to change me.

- I want Him to deliver me from my obsessive self-righteousness, to slay my lust for self-vindication, so that I feel my need for the mercies of Christ, so that I learn to treat others gently.

- I want to learn to endure hardship and suffering in hope, having my faith simplified, deepened, and purified.

- I need to learn, to listen, to worship, to delight, to trust, to give thanks, to cry out, to take refuge, to obey, to serve, to hope.

- I want the resurrection to eternal life.

- I need God Himself!"

Amen & Amen!

And thank God for David Powlison and CCEF.

“Maranatha! Come quickly, Lord Jesus!”

Blessed Friday to you–

Your friend,
Tara B.

At the last moment this morning, as I was leaving for the airport at around 4:45AM, I grabbed two items for potential “airplane reading” and boy! Am I glad I did.

I was SO blessed on both of my flights as I read our denominational Christian Education & Publications magazine, Equip for Ministry, and as I re-read last summer’s Journal of Biblical Counseling from the The Christian Counseling and Educational Foundation.

I only have a moment to write now, so I’ll save the CCEF nuggets for a later post ... but I wanted to share a few excerpts from one of the CE&P articles on the doctrine of the Church. The article cited three of five reasons that J.I. Packer gives in his book, Ancient and Postmodern Christianity, for the stuntedness of the Church in modern-day.

Here are quick summaries of two of the reasons:

1. The church is too centered on salvation. (This has led to a human-centered theologizing which sets human needs center stage and makes the Trinity’s role simply one of saving individuals. He says “church life is thought out and set forth in terms of furthering people’s salvation rather than on worshiping and glorifying God.”)

2. The parachurch-centeredness is virtually an evangelical trademark. ("Sadly, these agencies of God’s kingdom draw interest, prayer, enthusiasm, and money away from the wider-ranging, slower-moving, less glamorous realities of congregational life, so that the parachurch body comes to have pride of place in supporters' affections and in effect to be their church.")

Doesn’t the first one stop you in your tracks? At first I thought, “Huh?! How could the Church be TOO centered on salvation” But then I said, “Amen! That’s exactly right.” Man-centered rather than God-centered is never right.

And what about the parachurch-centeredness? What do you think? I TOTALLY agreed with him about it being an “evangelical trademark,” especially as I reflected on my first years of being a Christian.

Thankfully, I WAS taught that it was important to be a member of a local church and, by GRACE, I always quickly submitted myself to the authority of a local congregation whenever I moved as a teenager and young adult. But I was in my late twenties before I was ever taught the doctrine of the Church and what really makes the Church unique WHY it is so important for Believers to be in a local church.

Must run now–but I’ll write more later!

Happy Thursday, everyone!

Much love,
Tara B.

Tomorrow our family will spend the morning together so that we can attend Lois Sande’s funeral.

Lois was Sunny Murray’s (my dear friend) and Ken Sande’s (president of Peacemaker Ministries and my former boss) mother–and though we did not know her well, she was been a constant part of our lives our entire time here in Billings.

Not only was she a model for all of us as to what it looks like to face debilitating illness and old-age with grace, she also generously gave our family a number of household items years ago–so I often think of her as I go throughout my workday at home. (I am typing this blog while sitting on her couch. I did three loads of laundry today in her washing machine. And our guests sleep on her comfy king-sized guest bed. )

To prepare Sophie for the funeral, we spoke off and on throughout the day about Heaven and death; new bodies and the end of suffering; why we honor loved ones with Christian burial, etc.

We also read Wait Until Then, by Randy Alcorn, as one of our bedtime books. I really love that book and I heartily recommend it as a way to step into conversations with our children about the death of a loved one and Heaven to come.

(BUT ... I must warn you ... I still haven’t been able to read it to Sophie without crying. But that’s OK. She actually cries a little bit too when the Grandpa dies and it gives us a chance to talk about how it’s OK to cry. Death makes us sad! Even Jesus wept at the tomb of His friend.)

I did have a SWEET gasp tonight, though, that I wanted to tell you about ...

For our Bible reading, we read The Prodigal Son. And the way it’s laid out in our children’s Bible, the son rebels, takes the money, and is off living his life of sin. Then, on the same page, he begins to repent and wonders if his dad will be angry and reject him. He is afraid of how his dad will respond. It’s all very compellingly written and I love watching Sophie as I read it to her ...

- He wonders if his dad will say, “I don’t love you anymore!” (And Sophie SHAKES SHAKES SHAKES her head NO!)
- He is afraid that his dad won’t forgive him. (And Sophie leans forward ... eager to turn the page.)

Because as soon as the page is turned, there is a HUGE painting of the dad grabbing his robes and RUNNING TO HIS SON. And every time, Sophie’s face LIGHTS UP with the BIGGEST SMILE "because Daddies ALWAYS forgive their children and Daddies ALWAYS love their children ... just like God ALWAYS forgives us and loves us!"

What a great reminder.

It’s like that sermon Pastor Alfred preached a few months back where he encouraged us to turn away from condemning (and inaccurate!) thoughts that would lead us to doubt the magnitude of God’s forbearance and patience with us.

He said we are SO QUICK to think, “How could God forgive me AGAIN?! How could I EVER ask Him to forgive me for this SAME THING again and AGAIN?! Surely God must TIRE of me!!”

But God NEVER tires of forgiving His children.
Never.

We tire of forgiving people–and that’s why it’s so easy to doubt the steadfastness of God’s compassion, mercy, kindness, forgiveness, and love.

But God never tires.

"For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;

as far as the east is from the west,
so far does he remove our transgressions from us.

As a father shows compassion to his children,
so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.

For he knows our frame;
he remembers that we are dust." Psalm 103:11-14

He remembers. He knows we are dust.
But He really does have compassion on us!

Run to Him!
Run to Him!
(He is already running to you.)

G'nite and God bless!

Your friend,
Tara B.

HT to Pastor JollyBlogger for this great link:

Seven Key Ideas from C.S. Lewis

Another great article by Carolyn McCulley over at boundless.org:

Whom Do You Fear?

Just found my sermon notes from the Sunday before Christmas and I realized, upon reading them, that I had sent Fred a little note (a la freshman algebra) restating what one of our little four-year old friends had just said to me:

“Auntie Tara, did the angels make God a little baby?”

“No, love. God made God a little Baby.”

(My little friend smiled and responded … )

“THAT’S COOL!”

Also in my sermon notes from when Pastor Alfred Poirier preached “When the Time Had Fully Come” from Galatians 4:1-11:

- There is a blindness that can come by looking … “It is an item of faith that we are the children of God, but there is a lot of evidence in us AGAINST it.” P.T. Forsythe

- Instead of living in the FREEDOM of children, we slip into Quid Pro Quo. We Christians can live as though Christ never came! We are enslaved by principles all over again.

- Paul reminds us who we are: God has made us sons. And if we are son, then we are HEIRS.

- There is NO HOPE in comforting a dying person by assuring her that she has lived a good life. This is just beating someone down with the LAW! It can only lead to despair. Living a good life is GREAT—but it doesn’t give you any hope when you’re dying. Living a good life does NOT raise the dead.

- Christmas is about God sending His Son; sending His eternal Son. Jesus took our nature completely and was born under the law. (If you want to get to know Jesus, get to know His obedience!) Jesus kept God’s law PERFECTLY.

- What’s your salvation project for this year? (We all have one.) But Christ came and lived and died to REDEEM us from that law—that we might receive the full benefit of salvation. (Not just forgiven—we are adopted as sons!)

May God give us grace to live out even HALF of what we KNOW to be true.

Happy Thursday!

Yours,
Tara B.

Elder Laverman (as always!) reminded us anew of the glorious gospel as he opened our church’s service this morning.

He called out to all of us who have sinned in the past year and still cringe when we remember what we have thought, said, and done.

He called out to all of us who are embarrassed by something we did; ashamed by the depth of our depravity.

And he read from the prophet Isaiah:

"Comfort, comfort my people, says your God.
Speak tenderly to Jerusalem,
and cry to her
that her warfare is ended,
that her iniquity is pardoned." Isaiah 40:1-2a

Oh, the gospel.
The glorious gospel.

We, even we ... the most desperate of sinners CAN be and ARE forgiven.

Blessings to you as you head into the new year!

No new year’s resolutions, OK?
No trying to pull yourself up by your own bootstraps and “be better.” Got it?

Run to Christ.
Believe God’s Word.

"For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;
as far as the east is from the west,
so far does he remove our transgressions from us." Psalm 103:11-12

G'nite and God bless,
Tara B.

OK. OK. It’s only 4:04AM and I’m only on the first page of Ed Welch’s latest book, Running Scared: Fear, Worry, and the God of Rest, but already I am comforted AND reminded of why I am SUCH an Ed Welch junkie:

"Although I can be angry or melancholy, I am a fear specialist. In this I have found that I am not alone ...

I was initially intrigued by Luke’s account of Jesus' command: Do not worry." There was a time when the biblical commands “Do not worry” and “Do not be afraid” put a quick end to hopes that there was something attractive to say to fearful people. It seemed as if the biblical counsel was “The law says don’t fear, so don’t. End of story.”

But there are at least two different ways to say “Don’t worry.” One is a judicial warning, which has a threatening overtone; the other is a parental encouragement, which aims to comfort. Scripture has both, but Luke placed the accent on the parental encouragement. Those warm words from the loving Father were all I needed to notice God’s passion for comforting fearful people."

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm .....
Warm words. Loving Father. Comfort.

Guess I’m really a Jesus Junkie, eh?
(But thanks again, Dr. Welch, for pointing us all in the way of faith in Christ. By grace. God’s grace.)

Happy, Blessed, Sophie’s Birthday Monday to you!

Yours,
Tara B.

Just finished Dave Harvey’s, When Sinners Say “I Do”.

It’s a good read and I’d definitely recommend it as a gospel-proclaiming, readable book on the topic of marriage. (Lots of stories too, Tara S.! )

I’d like to tempt you to purchase it with a tiny excerpt from his chapter on “stubborn grace.” In it, he lists “four things to keep in mind when encouraging your spouse in the grace of God.”

(But isn’t it true that these four things are really for us to encourage ANYONE in the grace of God? Don’t you find that in biblically-sound books on ANY topic, their teachings really relate to ALL of life? I read a book on parenting, and it helps me at work. I read a book on work, and WHOA! I’m helped at church. And on and on.)

Here are the four points that Pastor Harvey lists:

"1. Your spouse is inclined to drift from grace to self-effort. ("I just need to do more, work harder, give it more effort.") (Therefore , you are called to ...) preach the gospel to your spouse; encourage meditation upon the riches of the gospel; and encourage resting in God even as the battle rages ...

2. Your spouse may tend to become discouraged. How can we practically encourage one another when discouragement sets in? Remind your spouse that God works beneath the surface well before change becomes visible; celebrate what you can see, even if it is not directly related to the area of desired change; review the game plan for change ...

3. Your spouse can lose sight of the ultimate goal. In our spiritual battles, we can be so aware of the fight to overcome specific sin tendencies that we begin to think the Christian life is basically about dealing with sin. That’s completely wrong ...

4. Your spouse must be pointed not to grace, but to the one from whom all grace flows. ... Grace–amazing, persistent grace–is helping us each day to run the race of renouncing, living, waiting, and wanting ... The grace of God has appeared with a power so stubborn that it will not allow sin to ultimately win. That’s remarkable news for the journey of marriage."

Remarkable news for the journey of marriage and just of LIFE, eh?!

Thank you, Pastor Harvey, for an excellent book and a sweet reminder of the greatness (and sweetness!) of Christ our Savior.

Hope you all enjoyed a restful Sabbath–

With love,
Tara B.

Groovin' to Handel’s SOULFUL Messiah and reading my Heidelberg Catechism ...

(How weird am I?! )

... and very encouraged by Q.28:

How does the knowledge of God’s creation and providence help us? We can be patient when things go against us, thankful when things go well, and for the future we can have good confidence in our faithful God and Father that nothing will separate us from his love. All creatures are so completely in his hand that without his will they can neither move nor be moved.

What a comfort!
What a comfort.

(Oooooh–Soulful Messiah is on, “Who may abide the day of His coming? And who shall stand when HE appeareth?!” You have just GOT to hear this recording if you haven’t already. It is absolutely one of our favorite holiday traditions EVER. So great.)

Back to God’s providence ...

You know, when I reflect back on the lowest time of my life to date, I can think of a few people who were steadfast in their conviction that God is good and trustworthy NO MATTER WHAT.

That “behind a frowning providence He hides a smiling grace.”

I remember feeling frustrated by their faith.

- A part of me wanting to believe.

- A part of me wanting to make the hurting STOP.

- A part of me wanting to HURT the person who was causing me so much pain.

But of course these dear saints were right to put their trust fully in God and to call me to do the same.

I don’t know for sure–but I would guess that a part of them grieved for my suffering. A part of them probably chuckled a bit at my immaturity–but then I’m sure that they also cheered me on in my (painful) journey of growth in grace. I’m sure they prayed for me.

Reflecting on all of this again today, I am reminded that all of the people who were steadfast in trusting God and calling me to trust God HAD SUFFERED HORRIBLY in their lives. Death of children, betrayed by Christians ... SUFFERED.

But on the other side of the fire? They said assuredly:

"That the eternal Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who out of nothing created heaven and earth and everything in them, who still upholds and rules them by his eternal counsel and providence, is my God and Father because of Christ his Son. I trust him so much that I do not doubt he will provide whatever I need for body and soul, and he will turn to my good whatever adversity he sends me in this sad world. He is able to do this because he is almighty God; he desires to do this because he is a faithful Father." (Q. 26)

Amen & Amen!

Thank You, God.
Thank you, Elector Frederick III and the synod in Heidelberg.
Thank you, SOULFUL Messiah musicians!



Blessed Saturday to you all–

Love,
Tara B.

For two mornings now, I’ve woken up with a gentle (but heartbreaking) conviction of sin and foolishness.

Yesterday it related to my spiritual disciplines. I’ve actually been seeking counsel from my pastor on this one.

It seems to me that back in my earlier days of faith in Christ, I was WAY more disciplined re: Bible reading, prayer, private worship, etc. However, I was also living MUCH more from a “works” mentality wherein my relationship with God was based on MY behavior and my Christian “testimony” was based on WHAT I did–rather than on Christ. (Shudder!)

'Course, embracing the biblical truths that my relationship with God is based on CHRIST and my testimony is based on CHRIST doesn’t mean that I can just FORGET that I am called to engage in faith’s fight against sin every single day of my life. The Sword of the Spirit IS the Word of God and faith in Christ gives us the FREEDOM TO NOT SIN (not to be slothful!).

So I was convicted. But encouraged. Truly comforted. It was as if the very Spirit of God were saying:

"Back in the Word, Tara. Spend time studying and meditating on the Living Word of God. You’re starving yourself right now–thinking you can have a meal and then go hours, days without eating again. (So then you stuff yourself with things of no “nutritional” value.) I love you. Spend time with Me. The spiritual disciplines do not establish or maintain my love for you–but they are important."

(Isn’t that CONVICTION?! NOT condemnation. Oh–oh–thank You, God, that you truly are gentle and gracious with a sinner like me.)

Today, my “first thought of the day conviction” was on PARENTING. I’m just SO convicted that I am really a lazy parent. Well, I’m a COMBINATION of a lazy parent and an intentional parent.

Yes–yes–at times I do OK with intentionally giving Sophia my energy, attention, counsel, and love. I am SO BLESSED to get to be home with her! Fred works SO HARD so that I can be present with our daughter–and in some ways, I do OK with guiding her heart in the ways of God.

BUT ... we really do have this TUG in our home because I AM LAZY and Sophie has a LOT of STUFF. Toys, video DVDs, games, etc. have all been lavished on her by some extremely generous with stuff family members–and if I’m going to be honest ... by ME TOO. And the combination of toys/videos to DISTRACT her and my incredibly selfish LAZINESS? Well ... let’s just say that I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the homes and parents I respect the MOST look a LOT DIFFERENT from the home I create for my daughter during a “normal” day “just with Mom.”

(Please don’t hear this like I think other homes are perfect. I don’t! Or that I think I’m just the worst mother ever and what I need to do is WORK HARDER. I swear! That’s not where I am. It’s more about the HEART.)

So anyway ... this morning, I had the gentle rebuking thought that it’s a combination of STUFF and LAZINESS on my part that are really tempting Sophia to give in to a selfish, ungrateful, demanding heart.

And I further had the thought that one of the ways that we might be able to help Sophie to develop a more content, grateful heart is to “tub up” a lot of her stuff (meaning, give a lot away and store the rest in labeled non-opaque tubs) ... and then gently “dole out” toys in appropriate amounts with appropriate adult supervision and encouragement/happy play.

(See? Not only would this help with “the stuff”–it would help with my laziness because it is a gentle call to be more diligent/intentional with her play as well.)

I always think of Laura Ingalls Wilder being SO happy with her little corn husk wrapped in a scrap of gingham as her doll. And it was not like her mom could just sit on the ground all day “playing” with her–no way! She was tilling the ground, planting / harvesting / canning their food, sewing their clothes (after spinning the yarn), feeding the animals, etc. etc. etc. And that was NOT an intellectually or relationally deprived environment.

Again ... I didn’t feel condemned by this conviction. Actually–it was the opposite! I felt encouraged and hopeful. I DO want to learn how to build REDEMPTIVE REST into our days so that BOTH of us can have the quiet/alone times that refresh us. And I DO want to be faithful regarding stewardship issues, encouraging contentment, etc. This morning’s conviction just showed me some weaknesses AND gave me some clear ideas for the future.

And all I can say is–THANK YOU GOD.

(I do believe it was of God ... because my flesh, the world, and the Enemy of our Souls sure would not EVER lead me in the way of wisdom or love/gratitude toward God.)

Hope you experience true encouragement and CONVICTION this very day! And NOT NOT NOT condemnation.

I just hate condemnation. I hate it in ME (how quick I am to BLAME and to JUDGE other people uncharitably). I hate being on the receiving end of it. And mostly? I HATE it when condemnation is given in the Church in the name of “Christian love”. AAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGgggggggggggghhhhhhhhhh! Ergh! BLECH.

The truth is that God does not condemn His children. He doesn’t!
He hates our sin, to be sure.
Our foolishness leads to some painful consequences–absolutely!

But He does NOT condemn us. He convicts us.

God the Father condemned CHRIST for us.
And He has given us His means of grace–His Holy Spirit living in our hearts, His Written Alive Holy Word, His Body and Bride–the Church–to convict us and help us to grow.

To grow in holiness? Yes!
But what does this MEAN?

LOVE. Love for God. Love for neighbor.
And FAITH! Faith in God’s love = Faith in God’s Son.

"There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." Romans 8:1

Amen & Amen!
And Happy, Blessed Friday to you–

Soph and I are bringing chocolate cookies to Fred’s work today before ballet class.
Hey! Maybe I should bring a camera and show you guys the Peacemaker offices? Anyone interested?

Love ya bunches,
Tara B.

OK. Seriously. This is in NO way a criticism of men–especially not my husband who (you are SO right, Andrew!) REALLY IS “Fred the Valiant.”

But at friend/prayer group this morning one of the women–not whining, not complaining–just factually stated that all of the STUFF of December/the holidays really DOES fall heavily on WOMEN, not men.

(I.e., dollars to donuts, no men woke up this morning thinking about the Christmas dress/outfit for the kids; Angel Tree gift/donations that need to be purchased, wrapped & delivered; holiday photo & letter to write, copy, fold, stuff, stamp, seal, etc. etc.; baking, shopping, thrift store searching, wrapping, parties, etc. etc. etc.)

However ... it’s not like any of our other womanly duties are LIFTED from our shoulders during this season. Bathrooms still need scrubbing, that pesky ol' habit of our families needing meals continues, dust accumulates, homework/schooling continues, bosses need reports and emails need answering ... etc. etc.

But IN ADDITION, we have these other responsibilities/goals/desires associated with “the season.” Truly: it can be extraordinarily easy to feel overwhelmed and then respond in graceless, faithless, and loveless ways.

Personally? I tend to extremes in my responses and I wonder if any of you can relate ...

1. We whip ourselves into a FRENZY and rush around, crazily being TOO driven by our to-do lists. We bark orders, use a harsh tone, and proceed to make everyone MISERABLE ... all to “celebrate the season.”

(Hah. 'Tis almost as ironic as having a big fight while writing a book called Peacemaking Women. Double hah.)

2. The piles and dust and shopping and PEOPLE-oriented STUFF (especially for us introverts!) FREAK US OUT and we become PARALYZED. We freeze. Not only do we NOT do any of the “holiday extra” stuff–we avoid even our daily duties and seek to ESCAPE by exercising too much, shopping online and spending money we don’t have for stuff we don’t need (BTW–as a quick aside–don’t you just HATE obligatory gift giving? I do!), EATING too much, reading too long, mindlessly watching television hour after hour, habitual sexual sin, drugs/alcohol ... you name it!

We do anything and everything OTHER than what we OUGHT to be doing because what we ought to be doing feels WAY too overwhelming and hard.

What a mess!

Getting “everything done” doesn’t fix the problem. (Because life continues! There’s always more to do. ALWAYS. So even the satisfying “CHECK!” as we scratch something off of our to-do list doesn’t LAST.)

Running away doesn’t fix the problem–and usually it just makes things worse. (When we finally pull out of our binge, all of the TO-DO’s are STILL THERE ... but now we’re 20 lbs overweight (or perfectly proportioned but FIXATED on our LOOKS), hungover, guilt-ridden for the junk we let our eyes watch, in credit card debt, etc.)

So what hope is there for us?

Well ... the gospel. Christ. Of course.
The reason for the season; the Hope of Glory.
(He is! He really is!)

But what does it look like in real life to remember what we claim to believe?

For me? Yesterday? It looked like a sort of dry worship service–not that our church is dry, just my heart. I felt tired and restless. I felt sad and stressed and overwhelmed.

But it was a communion Sunday–and I am just SO grateful for this tangible reminder that Body of the Lord was broken for me. His blood was spilled for me.

Yes, God kisses us when we partake of the bread and the wine.
HE does this. Not us.

Our salvation? Our growth in sanctification? Our future glorification when we will be like Him and be DONE with this fallen world and our Old Man and the Enemy of our souls? GOD’S WORK. The indicative. All of it. HIM. Who God IS and all that HE has already done for us in Christ. The gospel.

Also? We get to work. But not in a frenzied, awful way. Just diligence. Not afraid. Not bound and anxious. Just faithful.

And we help each other! We are MINDFUL of each other. We seek to serve. (Just like my friends this morning who offered to add my TWO things to their long Walmart shopping lists and save me the BLECH of having to tackle Walmart today! Hooray!)

Fred helped me SO much in this when, after church, he literally said:

"Tara, please make me a list. Write down the things that I could do that would help you the most and relieve some of this pressure."

And so I did.

No, Fred can’t return event emails or know which Christmas flamingo PJ’s from my sister are for her and which are for me, so he can’t help wrap presents. Those piano accompaniments I was OH SO HAPPY about last week–that now are scaring me because I wonder if I can really play them!–he can’t practice them for me. He’s not very good at organizing all of our paperwork ... and no, he can’t take a nap for me (which is really what I needed and what he encouraged me to do).

But he was GREAT at cleaning the bathrooms and scrubbing out the crockpot. (Hey PalmTree Pundit! I made your Tortilla Soup! Yum-num-nummy!) He’s the man when it comes to vacuuming and he happily played his part in Sophie’s grand plotline involving a pet store and multiple super-cool tropical animals.

Fred helped me to remember the gospel by NOT responding to my emotions/panic with anything other than:

- Calm encouragement: “It’s going to be OK. Really. You’re not alone. God is with you. I’m here to help too.”

- Wise counsel: “Just try to do the next thing, Tara. What ONE thing would really help you to feel like you’re making progress? What is weighing you down that REALLY doesn’t HAVE TO be done today/this week/this month? Can you move anything OFF of your to-do list?”

- And practical HELP : “I’ve got Sophia. I’ll do those cleaning tasks so that you can have a Sabbath rest and maybe bite off a chunk of your to-do’s when you’re ready.”

(Oh–and just so you know that I do try to bless him too ... when his beloved Chicago bears came on the television, I kept Sophie and the dog away and served him multiple bowls of tortilla soup as he sat transfixed for hours. Oh yeah, and the last thing on my “dream help Tara to-do list for Fred” was a little canoodling with the wifey. )

If I could ... I’d be a Fred for you and try to give you this same encouragement, wise counsel, and practical help as you strive to remember the gospel during this busy holiday season!

Much to do–so I’ll sign off now.
Remember! There is always grace for the day.
You are not alone.
Emmanuel. God with us.
The Body–The Church. There is a home for you and for me.

Happy, Blessed Monday!

Yours,
Tara B.

No, this is not a post about making an idol out of food. (Although that does remind me that I haven’t posted about that topic for awhile, have it? Hmmmmmmmm ... I’ll try to remember to do that. It’s been a fairly sweet season of not being at my WORST regarding this habitual temptation to sin but not being “perfectly” disciplined either. Kind of like life, eh?)

ANYWAY ... this post is an encouragement for you all to pop on over to Ravi Zacharias Ministries ("RZIM") and read a recent Slice of Infinity:

The Ultimate Diet (by J.M. Njoroge)

Oh my! But the opening illustration is (appropriately) disturbing! But the entire essay is such a well-written reminder for us all that I urge you to check it out.

I’ll tempt you with just a few lines:

"The problem is that many consistent churchgoers do not have a comprehensive, steadfast biblical foundation for their faith. The rugged discipline of critical, theological reflection for a mature application of the faith in all aspects of life has all but vanished from some of our pulpits, and, as a result, many in our churches are defenseless against the onslaught of worldviews, behaviors and other cultural trends inimical to our faith ...

In stark contrast, the apostle Paul envisions a church community in which gifted leaders equip God’s people towards unity and maturity in their knowledge of Christ so that they (the people) can do the work of the ministry. If we run the church this way, “we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming” (Ephesians 4:14). The Christian life is neither a call to legalism nor a call to lawlessness; it is a call to true, lasting transformation of the whole person ...

If we don’t learn to feed properly and consistently on the reality of God’s Kingdom delineated in his Word, we leave ourselves quite vulnerable to the never-tiring enemy of our souls whose time-tested skills at feeding unprotected, hungry mouths are unequalled."

Oh! How I love this daily devotional. It is the ONLY one I subscribe to. (Who has time to read one more thing? I do for this!)

You can sign up here. Oh, and I even give them my REAL email address because I have never received ANY spam from them and never even one solicitation from them. Sweet.

OK–off to the gym and then onto church! Ahhhhh, Sunday. The best day of the week!

Yours,
Tara B.

Isn’t it amazing how much we all struggle with the same things?

Rich or poor, single/married, working outside of the home or working within the home ...

I could be in a detox center or a board room or my child’s schoolroom and the fact is that I would still be there. Me.

Struggling with similar feelings of inadequacy.
Wanting to “be better” and “fit in” and “do a good job” and “serve well” and “NOT FAIL.”

Striving to remember something TRUE about God
and about myself
(and my situation/the people around me).

Circumstances may be different–but the heart is really the same, isn’t it?

Created to worship.
Satisfied and at rest (even in the storm!) when worshiping GOD.
Restless, anxious, angry when living for anything or anyone other than God.

LONGING for security, love, friendship, “belonging-ness.”
Only finding it in the One Who made a way for our wretched, vile sin to be ultimately and forever dealt with ...

Who made a way for us to be forgiven. Justified.
And a way for us to be CHANGED. Sanctified.
All while we are ADOPTED as beloved children and given all of the rights of HEIRS!

I mean ... seriously ... wouldn’t it be GOOD ENOUGH to just be FORGIVEN? Of course! To not have to spend eternity in HELL? Amazing! Incredible!

But then to also be BELOVED while we GROW in this life?
SECURE in the fact that our adoption can never be (and WILL never be!) “un-done”?

(Because, as Sophie explained on Monday–when we were coming up with hypotheticals to explain the words “vile” and “wicked” that were in her Psalm of the day: “Mommas DON’T tell their children, ”Get away from me! I don’t love you any more! THAT would be VILE!" That’s right, dear. That WOULD be vile and wicked because Mommas LOVE their babies! That’s what Mommas do.)

And if even we who are wicked love our children and give them good gifts? Well ... surely our Heavenly Father–Who is PERFECT!–can never go back on His Word, break His covenant, or STOP LOVING HIS CHILDREN.

Do we deserve His love? No way! We deserve His wrath.
But His wrath has been SPENT on Jesus. His wrath has been fully satisfied–

And now we get to belong.
To Him.
Forever.

Let us rejoice in our salvation, dear ones!
May we worship God and ENJOY the reflections of HOME that come in this life–true friendship, kindness, those moments when our hearts cry out “Thank You!”

But oh! Let us NOT live for (worship!) them. Otherwise, we’re going to end up anxious and angry.

Oops! 6:23AM ... must run to friend/prayer group.
(You all know what I mean when I say that, right?)

Love ya and God bless!
– Tara B.

PS
Hooray for hormone shifts UP too! Yes, yes. I’m sure you COULD track my blog postings of despair and sorrow to hope and happiness/blessedness TRULY with a 29-33 day cycle.

Today’s iGoogle C.S. Lewis Quote:

"Authority exercised with humility, and obedience accepted with delight are the very lines along which our spirits live."

Taking a cue from our brilliant, godly, and fun friend, PalmTree Pundit, I would like to offer my first “quote of the day” ...

Taken from a Wendy Alsup essay on “The Ideal Christian Woman”:

"First of all, “godliest” is a bad label. It implies we determine our godliness by comparing ourselves to others. “She’s godlier than that other lady, so that makes her the godliest.” Wrong! Christ is our standard of perfection, and we all fall short of His glory. The best analogy I’ve heard is that it is like someone standing on a sheet of paper and claiming to be closer to the sun. When we try to use the label “godliest,” we are equally absurd."

To tempt you further (I do hope you’ll pop on over and read it), just consider a few more lines from Mrs. Alsup’s SPOT ON essay:

"We have many godly, mature ladies at Mars Hill with great wisdom to offer their sisters in Christ. The first quality of all of them is humility. They realize their unworthiness and don’t hold their preferences on childbirth, breastfeeding, education, dinner prep, and so forth as anything for which to pat themselves on the back. In fact, among the mature, Christlike women I know at Mars Hill, there are diverse opinions on each of these issues. Also, we have many godly women who are not married and/or do not have children. These women too are humble servants, hospitable with their resources and Christlike in their priorities.

I have definitely felt pressure from godly Christian women. But rather than feeling peer pressure to conform to some outward stereotype, I have felt pressure to know God, spend time in His Word, to pray, to be humble, to love my husband and children, and to embrace my role in their lives. While I have gleaned great practical information on breastfeeding, education, childbirth, dinner prep, etc from these ladies, I haven’t felt pressure to conform to their image. No–they point me to conform to Christ’s image (Romans 8:29)."

Well said. Well said indeed!

Here’s the link for the sermon post on our church’s website ...

But I wanted to process through my notes one more time this morning (nothing like re-running the sermon to start your week off right, eh?) and I thought that even my unorganized notes might be a small blessing to you. So here goes ...

The sermon was “Confessing our Sins (part 2)” and Pastor Alfred preached again from 1 John 1:5-2:2.

One of his opening illustrations was from a Wall Street Journal article on how “Confession is Making a Comeback.” This article gave all sorts of examples of different ways that people are “confessing”–to friends, priests, even to a website called (no joke!) “I’ve screwed up dot com.”

His sermon is rich with in-depth teaching on what “repentance” and “do penance” and “the sacrament of penance” have meant throughout the ages. (I didn’t know that the 4th Centurty view differed from the 16th century, for example.) But just a few of the things I am thinking about the most this morning include:

- How just saying that you are encouraging “confession” might not be a good thing if you don’t know what the Scripture says and/or if you are not encouraging what the Scripture says.

- Have you ever struggled with the guilt and shame of sin and KNOWN that apart from forgiveness you are going to Hell? I hope so! That is when we begin to get serious about our sin.

- When we’re thinking about CONFESSION, we are to remember that the emphasis in Scripture is what GOD has done–not how we FEEL, how SINCERE we feel like we’re being, how many tears we shed. It’s not our tears or our sincerity that commend us to God ... but God Himself Who saves sinners.

- Christ is the Main Figure in confession of sin. Jesus kept the Father’s commands completely, perfectly, personally. We give Jesus our sins and He gives us His perfect righteousness.

- When we confess, God the Father asks, “And what do YOU have for ME?” We say, “Your own Perfect Son.” And God replies, “It is enough.”

- Jesus' propitiatory death is not JUST enough to AVERT God’s holy wrath ... Jesus SATISFIES God’s wrath. It is SPENT on the Very Son of God.

- Hell came to Calvary on that Day and jumped on the Cross. So yes, be resolved not to sin! But that doesn’t save you. It is either Hell or Jesus ... which one do you want? Cling to Christ and be saved!

And the thought that I woke up thinking about/processing/praying about is this:

Reading God’s Word and prayer are the deeds of intimacy.

It’s not like “having to” go to the gym every day. The amazing truth is that God WANTS to be intimate with us! And these spiritual disciplines are the deeds of intimacy.

Thanks, Pastor Alfred, for pointing us to Christ yet again.

I’m logging off now to read God’s Word and pray.

Love ya bunches and Happy Monday!
– Tara B.

PS
To answer Deb’s question “up here” in my Monday evening link-to-the-sermon-online edit (rather than in a comment) ... I think if you listen to the sermon, Pastor Alfred even mentions the James 5 passage you quoted and says something to the effect of, “Sure! Absolutely! It’s good to confess our sins to one another.” But just as you noted, we do so NOT to be mediators or TO FORGIVE sin ... but simply to preach the gospel to one another and REMIND one another that “if we confess our sins, GOD is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” (that’s one of the first verses Sophia Grace memorized!). Thanks for the great comments, ladies! Love ya – tkb

My darling Fred was at church for six hours yesterday–and Sophia and I were there for five and a half. Worship team practice, Sunday School, church, a wonderful luncheon, and then an amazing presentation by two of our missionaries ... and before we knew it, it was 2:30! What a day. What a good day.

Pastor Alfred preached a rich sermon on "Confessing our Sins (Part 1)" and I encourage you to zip on over to our church’s website and listen for yourself.

I want to tempt you with just a few points, and also encourage you to listen to a Pastor Alfred CLASSIC sermon (that I have recommended many times on this blog): Are You Desperate for a Savior? Seriously. I just don’t know that any of us could spend 45 minutes in a more God-centered way than to listen to that sermon again. I listen to it at least once a year.

OK, here are just a few points from yesterday’s sermon:

- A half truth about God is a whole lie.

- Any real, true concept of sin is always understood in relation to God. God is Light and there is no darkness in Him.

- We are walking contradictions when we claim to KNOW God but we don’t DO the things He requires of us. We say, “I want out of my suffering” and yet “I walk in the Light.” This is a walking contradiction.

- Any time you love someone you pay for it. You suffer for it. (That’s love.)

- Sin is always a barrier to our relationship with God.

- Fellowship with people assumes fellowship with God.

- If you have a little view of SIN, you have a little view of the Savior. (We say, “Yeah, I’m a sinner.” But can you get specific?!)

- When we confess, we will be tempted to believe our Old Nature and our Adversary and think, “God won’t forgive me. Again! The 100th time. The 1,000th time!” But this is a LIE. The truth is that although WE are arbitrary in our love and forgiveness (we claim to forgive but we pull back from people, we look down on them, something still stands between us) ... GOD IS NOT ARBITRARY. God is FAITHFUL. God does not tire of us. He has promised to forgive and we can BANK on His forgiveness because it has been SECURED by the eternal work of Christ. The justice and mercy of God KISS on the Cross of Jesus Christ and God forgives His children.

- When we confess, Heaven rejoices. When we DESPAIR of EVER changing, EVER being able to “get over this sin!” ... that is EXACTLY when we feel our need for the Savior. We cry out, “I can’t change! I can’t change!” and God responds, “My son, my daughter ... the Son of God came to DESTROY the work of the Devil.” Flee to Jesus and find forgiveness for your sins!

Amen?
Amen!

Preach it, Pastor Alfred!

How I thank God for forgiveness.

Wow!

I just found out (HT: Randy Alcorn’s blog!) that the ENTIRE DesiringGod Conference is available FOR FREE online–videos, audios, the whole bit.

I encourage you to check it out–I truly thank God for the ministry of John Piper and the entire DesiringGod team. Their website is absolutely AMAZING. Whenever I want to research a topic, I always stop there and mine through their sermons, articles, etc.

Happy Monday–
Tara B.

Because of Judy’s and my book, “Peacemaking Women,” I am often asked the question:

"How are men and women DIFFERENT when it relates to biblical peacemaking/living out the gospel in our relationships?"

Well ... CCEF’s e-newsletter today contained a link to a great article by David Powlison that discusses some of the biblical similarities and distinctives regarding men and women specifically related to biblical counseling ... but isn’t that topic “close enough” (THE SAME??) as biblical peacemaking because it’s all just living out the gospel?

I really think so and I hope you agree so that you’ll pop on over and check it out.

And while you do that–why not consider buying some of their resources and/or their AMAZING (biblical, Christ-centered, practical, scholarly but readable for those of us lay/sheep too) Journal of Biblical Counseling (in a searchable/indexed CD format) ... or even, hey! What an idea ... PRAYING for these men and women and DONATING to them too? (You know ... I’m like 99.99% sure I’ve never asked anything like that on this blog before ... but I stand by it. Why not pray and give today?)

OK ... back to work. Much work.

God bless you!
And thanks for the fun comments re: our family’s “4 seconds of fame.”

Yours,
Tara B.

PS
Their copyright language is really, really tight so I’m HOPING it’s OK if I tempt you with just a few teasers from Dr. Powlison’s article ... (If not, and if some CCEF guy or gal is reading this and is upset, PLEASE let me know and I’ll take these teasers right down!)

- “The God who made us male and female manages to avoid both masculinist and feminist extremes.”

- “Most of what women and men deal with is generically the same. Both male and female sin in the same basic ways. Complaining, worry, resentment, unbelief, and self-righteousness are genderblind. And both male and female suffer life’s pains and hardships. So Christ’s mercies come to both. Faith works through love in both. Both sexes apply psalms, most proverbs, the Sermon on the Mount, John, and most of Ephesians 4-6 in the same ways.”

-"Often idiosyncratic differences between individuals have more cash value than supposed gender differences. Some men come from Venus and some women from Mars. Some women are natural initiators, while some men are instinctive responders. Some men are nurturers and some women are achievers. Some women love to balance the checkbook and watch sports on TV; some men love to cook and to talk with friends over coffee. Some men weep at sad movies; some women pack firearms. And vice versa, of course. The bell curves of gender traits might slide a little one way, or the other, but generalizations don’t work as absolutes."

- “Even problems supposed to be typically male or typically female aren’t set in stone. Troubles with body image, depression, and being abused were once distinctively female. But disorderly eating, obsession with physical appearance, pervading hopelessness, and the experience of violation are increasingly male. On the other side, pornography, aggressive lewdness, violent behavior, and foul language were once characteristically male evils. They are increasingly female.”

-"So what makes this our women’s issue? Though the most significant things about people are universal, your sex and gender (biology’s female/male and culture’s feminine/masculine) always give things a particular spin, a slant. Something of that different feel is what I hope these articles communicate. When what’s deeply the same comes from a woman’s sensibility, it’s just a bit different. A significant bit. This is analogous to the issues raised in any cross-cultural or cross-situational ministry."

- “So, women are different from men, and vive la différence! Yet, no temptation has overtaken you that is not common to all, and we all grow up into the image of Jesus.”

Amen, Dr. Powlison!

And thanks and love to all of the men and women of the Christian Counseling & Education Foundation for your God-centered, biblically-faithful, practically-helpful ministry that points us to Christ. – tkb

Totally worth one minute of your time to scoot on over to BrittleCrazyGlass and read this post by Molly:

Courage and Grace

Well said, dear sister!
Preach it, Molly!

Thank you, Gulfstream Women in the Church! I just finished reading your “Am I at peace with God? Others? Within” notes and it truly was my joy to pray for each one of you.

I am SO eager to be back with you all tomorrow morning! Thank you again for inviting me to be with you for your women’s conference.

Oh–and here are the words of the song that I played at the close of our time together this evening. I hope that they bless you and remind you of how great and glorious God truly is.

How Great is our God!
How Great is our God.

Much love and good night/early morning ,
Tara B.

TASTE AND SEE
by Trudy Poirier

Taste and see the Lord is good.
He will satisfy the soul.
Empty, broken, he will feed,
When we see it’s him we need.

This is my theme, this is my song,
To praise the Lord my whole life long.
He took the water of my life,
And turned it into sweetest wine.

Love that will not let me go.
I will rest my soul in you.
Restless, weary, weak and poor,
I give my will and call you Lord.

Make me your prisoner, then I’ll be free,
For you have bought my liberty.
Batter my heart three-personed God,
You gave your life a ransom for me.

Take all of my busy days,
Take all the longest nights.
Take my hopes and take my dreams,
So that your vision may be mine.

You have not chosen many wise,
You have not chosen many strong,
You take the weakest ones in this world,
That you may show your grace and glory.

© Trudy Poirier (Pear Tree Music)

My good friend is helping me (a lot!) by “making me” re-read through the great D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones book, “Spiritual Depression.”

Oh! How accurately this dear pastor describes my tendencies:

- Prone to melancholy

- Sometimes drawn, haggard, vexed, troubled

- Overly introverted and introspective

- At times, weeping and tearful because I am in a state of perplexity and fear

- Overly analyzing myself and everything I do and worrying about the possible effects of my actions; always harking back; always full of vain regrets

- Too centered on myself (as evidenced by my propensity to talk too much about myself and my problems/troubles; forever going around with a frown on my face as I recount the great difficulty I am in)

And yet. And yet. Even all of THAT–while it surely makes me a “poor recommendation for the Christian faith”, it does NOT mean that I am not a Christian, “but it does mean that [we] are missing a great deal, missing so much that it is important that we should inquire into the whole condition of spiritual depression ...”

(BTW ... If you or someone you know is struggling–I encourage you to pick up this great book (and/or
Ed Welch’s wonderful book on Depression). These two are my favorites and the ones I recommend over and over again at women’s events.)

Back to Dr. Jones ... it’s a 300 page book, so please don’t think this is all there is (!), but I wanted to encourage you as I have been encouraged. Here are a few quotes and paraphrases ... please, anything worth keeping is fully attributable to Dr. Jones and the rest is Tara’s processing/commentary in her own life:

- That temperament does not make any difference in the matter of our fundamental salvation ... but it DOES make a very great different in the actual experience of the Christian life

- We must know ourselves and our temperament so that we can be aware of our propensities (take care in regards to both your strengths AND your weaknesses); keep your temperament where it should be kept

- We cannot undo what we has been done–so it is futile (and exhausting!) to spend inordinate amounts of time analyzing and judging and BLAMING ourselves (this just makes us MORBID!)

- Don’t ignore the physical/chemical components that could be at play. (But don’t look for a “pill” to fix your unbelief, habitual sins, wrong thinking, dishonoring-of-God-actions!)

Because the bottomline on all of this?

We must take ourselves in hand and talk TO ourselves instead of allowing ‘ourselves’ to talk to us!

Most of our unhappiness in life is due to the fact that we are listening to ourselves instead of talking to ourselves. Grace calls us to DO something regarding our situation, our temperament, our struggles. To run to Christ, lay hold of Christ with saving faith, and to SPEAK TRUTH, biblical truth, to the lies and thoughts and struggles that rattle around inside of us.

You wake up in the morning and the first thought you have is of your FAILURES?! The problems of yesterday? Your horrible inadequacies? The drag that your life has become?

Someone is talking. Who is talking to you? Your self is talking to you.

RESIST! RESPOND! Rather than allow this self to talk to you, YOU start talking to YOURSELF. “Why art thou cast down, O my soul?” he asks. Your soul has been depressing you? Crushing you? So you stand up and say, “SELF! Listen for a moment! I will speak to you.”

Because the main art in the matter of spiritual living is to know how to handle yourself.

Take yourself in hand.
Address yourself.
Preach to yourself.
Question yourself.

You must turn on yourself,
Upbraid yourself,
Condemn yourself,
Exhort yourself,
and say to yourself, “HOPE THOU IN GOD!”
(Instead of muttering in this depressed, unhappy way.)

And then you must go on to remind yourself of God, Who God is, and what God is and what God has done, and what God has pledged Himself to do.

THEN ... defy yourself. Defy other people. Defy the devil. Defy the whole world and say with the Psalmist, "I shall yet praise Him for the help of His countenance, who is also the health of my countenance and my God!"

With Samara (& Scout & William Henry) here for a visit this past weekend, the Barthel Family took a “back-row-pew” during our 90 minute church service.

(Yes, yes. Do you question whether we REALLY have HOUR long sermons? Well–doubt no more. Just click on through to our tiny (it’s like going to seminary every week!) Montana-church and you’ll know for SURE!)

We ended up sitting in front of our dear friends, the Sande’s, and Ken made the casual comment, “I hear you have a new dog.”

(Now–picture this! Lilikoi had JUST eaten through a pair of “too big for her now but will fit come fall and wow! what a steal at clearance prices!” shoes for Sophia AND pee’d on the floor/carpet AND generally been a “jump up on tiny kids who cares if I scratch 'em” PAIN IN THE YOU KNOW WHERE (!!) when Ken made this comment.)

And (though I was tempted to give him my standard, “If we had KNOWN that God was going to take our baby from us we NEVER would’ve gotten a DOG” pathetic whine/schpeal), Ken & I shared a little fellowship over these facts:

God is sovereign.
NOTHING happens apart from His sovereign care.
Love.
GOODNESS.
And He is utterly trustworthy.

Dogs? Cancer? Prodigals? Job loss? Friends moving away?
GOD IS SOVEREIGN.

And He IS good.

I hope that you all enjoy a blessed Tuesday!

Your sister in Christ,
Tara B.

PS
This tiny (30 second?) conversation reminded me of one of my "Slice of Infinity" daily devotionals that I had received from Ravi Zacharias Ministries the previous week. I love this author (Jill Carratini)–what a writer!! And I truly encourage you to all click on through, be challenged, and ENJOY!

(Let me tempt you with this TINY excerpt:

"There is the thing we plan on doing with our lives, and then there’s the thing we end up doing, which becomes our life. Christians might have a nuanced view of Plan A–it is God’s plan we are trying to follow. But there is still very much an initial picture of what this plan, and subsequently our lives, will–or should–look like. God’s best becomes something like a divine Plan A, while any other plan leads the follower to something else entirely."

God bless, friends!–tkb

I had the most wonderful visit with a dear friend last week. Our schedules have not overlapped much lately, so it was particularly sweet to just get to talk and laugh and cry together for a bit.

(PLUS–the impetus for our get-together was that I had asked for her help arranging two dozen roses in a vase because some other dear friends were celebrating their 25th Wedding Anniversary (!!) and I wanted to give them a little blessing. But of course–you know me!–when it comes to things like flower arranging or other artistic things, well ... Fred would say that I have “other gifts.”

So as we chatted, my friend made it look SO EASY to just snip, snip, place, group, re-place–step back, snip, snip ... and before you knew it, there was a GORGEOUS arrangement! I just LOVE enjoying the gifts of my artistic, creative friends.)

Anyway ... one of the things we discussed is how often people in legalistic/performance-oriented churches have an urge to get “re-saved” or “re-baptized” because the emphasis in their churches is on what THEY have to DO to “be a good Christian,” how THEY are not “good enough” so they’d better TRY HARDER, etc. etc.

And my friend mentioned how, when she was a little girl, she’d feel all “emotionally close” to the Lord after her (very legalistic) Sunday church service because she would’ve been confronted on all of her badness and told to straighten up–and she’d repent and repent and then REDOUBLE HER EFFORTS to be “good” ... but then she used to think to herself:

"I hope I die on a Monday or the Lord returns on a Monday because by Friday, I sure have been so rotten throughout the week and I have so much badness again, that I’m sure he wouldn’t want me any more."

Oh! Oh! Oh!

I have SUCH a hard time when I visit a legalistic, performance-oriented, “people are going to Hell because YOU’RE not a good enough Christian so YOU’D better get your act together!!” churches. I watch the hundreds (and sometimes THOUSANDS) of people around me listening intently, nodding away, taking lots of notes, and I just want to jump up out of my seat and scream:

"No! No! No!
This is NOT Christianity! This is NOT THE GOSPEL!!

If we could be good enough, we would have no need of Christ!
Our Hope is in the “good enoughness” of ANOTHER–the righteous Savior.

We deserve death!
But God gives us life.
NOT because we are good enough!
But because God is a merciful, forgiving God.

Turn away from the heresy that is being preached to you this morning! Run out of this building! Don’t listen to this! Don’t nod away and PLEASE stop taking notes on this!
Don’t put another yoke of slavery around your neck!
Don’t make a mockery of the death of Christ!"

I know I’m using a lot of exclamation points and probably sounding (a tad?) frantic ...

But I really do feel crushed by the weight and horror of it all–because it is going out in the name of the “the gospel” and “Christianity” and there is NO need of Christ. No acknowledgment of the Prophet, Priest, and King–Christ. (Well, other than to say, “Jesus says you need to DO these things, people!!!!”)

Now–of course–I’m not saying that we are not called to engage in faith’s fight against sin. (We are!)
And I’m not saying that we can live any way we want and sin with abandon and presume on God’s grace. (No way!)

But what I AM saying is that we do NOT do these things to EARN GOD’S LOVE or to EARN our salvation.
We strive after holiness out of GRATITUDE FOR God’s love and GRATITUDE for the GIFT of our salvation.

(That is ... we remember justification AND sanctification and we DON’T get them confused.)

Of course, seriously, it’s pre-dawn Saturday morning and I’m sitting here in the basement already tempted myself to forget the truth and believe the lie. (To forget that I AM forgiven because of faith in Christ and to believe the lie that I had BETTER get my act together.)

So, hello pot! Sending you this blog entry and lots of love from me, kettle!

Oh that we would all head into our weekends remembering that whether we die on a Monday or not; whether we die on a day when we woke up and read our Bibles and worshipped God rightly and prayed and were all disciplined with our jobs/studies/homemaking/whatever–OR whether we didn’t even roll out of bed until some lazy time and even then we only got up so that we could grab our coffee and a doughnut and roll BACK into bed with a book or tv or just mindless escapism ...

Whether we die while in the middle of corporate worship having just received communion (when–I don’t know about you–but I always “feel” so close to the Lord having prepared for worship and then having been led in personal and corporate repentance and THEN having received the TANGIBLE reminders of the SUFFICIENCY of Christ’s sacrifice on my behalf) OR whether we die in a car crash while we’re in the midst of “fight 37” with our spouse and our hearts are boiling over with selfishness, bitterness, and meanness ...

It doesn’t matter.

Because when we face judgment
(WHEN, not if)

ALL that will matter is this: In Whom have I placed my trust and hope for right standing with God/salvation and all of this life and eternity to come?

If it is in ME (my works, “I’m a pretty good person,” avoiding bad stuff and doing good stuff, “I’m not as bad as HER”) ... then I am damned. Period.

But if the cry of my heart TODAY (this morning! as Lilikoi sits at my feet!) and in that (what I have to assume will be terrifyingly awesome) day of eternal judgment, my cry is THIS:

"Christ! Christ! Christ!

HIS life. Eternal–before there was even TIME! His incarnation–perfection. Every jot and tittle of the law fulfilled.

HIS suffering and death–what I deserve!

HIS descent into Hell (that SHOULD be my eternity!) and HIS resurrection.

By God’s grace, by God’s work, by God’s saving me ... I MUST say with every fiber of my being: I have transferred all of my hope for life from myself TO CHRIST; to the FINISHED WORK OF CHRIST.

My ONLY comfort in life and in death is that I am NOT my own, but belong with all my body and soul to my Savior, Jesus Christ."

Ahhhhhhhhhh ... if THIS is the cry of my heart, then even in the “ups and downs” of the Christian life.

(And I have OH SO MANY downs. Too many, I am sure.)

During our times of growth in godliness and our times of unbelief and sin ...
We have the HOPE and ASSURANCE of our salvation.

" ... for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.” Philippians 2:13

Yes, we “continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling ...” (Philippians 2:12).

But we ALWAYS REMEMBER that “it is God who works” (Philippians 2:13).
He works in his CHILDREN to conform us to HIS SON.
(And nothing–NOTHING–not even our sin can thwart His purposes.)

Anything good we ever do or say, will never be enough to save us.
That’s why Christ had to come, live, die, and be raised again on our behalf!
Our righteousness is as filthy rags. Christ’s righteousness is enough.

Our growth in holiness in this life is an evidence of God’s gracious work in us.
But it is NOT the basis for our salvation.
We are saved solely by grace, by faith–in Christ.

Alleluia! Alleluia!
WHAT A SAVIOR!
What a Savior.

God bless you as you enjoy your Saturday, my friends!
How exciting–tomorrow is Sunday. “The best day of the week” Sophia always says.

Sending you my love,
Tara B.

Many thanks to Challies.com for quoting Sproul and setting my heart on Christ on this blazingly-hot (100+ degrees here in Montana), much-to-do (tempted to feel overwhelmed/hide/run away/do nothing OR run around accomplishing too much and miss out on PEOPLE and RELATIONSHIPS), is it really almost August-Monday morning:

"Christ, then, is the One Who made satisfaction. By His work on the cross, He satisfied the demands of God’s justice with regard to our debt, our state of enmity, and our crime. In light of the facts of God’s justice and our sinfulness, it is not difficult to see the absolute necessity of the atonement."

Yes. Yes.

I do see the absolute necessity of the atonement, Lord.

My crime. My debt. My enmity.
Christ my substitute. Surety. Mediator.

There is no other Truth.
There is no other Hope.

God bless you, my friends!
And remember–the Lord is for His children.
And HE is mighty to save.

(Not because we deserve His merciful, grace-filled salvation!
That’s the whole point–WE CAN NEVER MERIT IT. Never.
But because HE is a merciful, graceful, SAVING GOD.
HE makes the way for us to be right with Him.

His justice HAS BEEN satisfied.
His mercy pours out.

Run to Him!
Run to Him.
And worship.

Amen?
Amen!)

Blessed Monday to you all!

With love,
Tara B.

I’ve been enjoying Bryan Chapell’s Holiness by Grace–Delighting in the Joy that is Our Strength and I thought that a little excerpt might encourage you to:

"Christians gain spiritual power from the certainty of God’s support. Self-preserving, human efforts may result from fear of a God who will get you if you get out of line, but such works mistake outer conformity to God’s standards with holiness from the heart.

“Spiritual worship” (Romans 12:1)–the selfless actions and inner desire to honor God–cannot result from threats. Proper fear of God in his people is not a concern for his wrath but a reverence for his holiness. We must reverentially fear his nature, but should not doubt his nurture. He will not harm those who are covered in the righteousness of his own Son and who, thus, are divinely loved as dearly as He."

So much more I could share!
(I encourage you to read this gospel-proclaiming book.)

Once again, Dr. Chapell’s ministry reminds us all that we do what we do because of God’s mercy.

Amen & Amen!

And Happy Saturday to you all,
Tara B.

I think I’ve only quoted my own book (Peacemaking Women) once on this blog so far ... so I hope you don’t mind if I do so tonight.

I’ve just been remembering a sweet story that Judy told in Chapter 1 about her daughter’s explanation of the gospel–and I thought it might be an encouragement to all of us as we close out our workweeks and head to bed tonight.

I’m especially praying that it might encourage two of my dear friends whose families are currently struggling with some heart-breaking sorrows related to their adult children.

As I’ve been praying and praying throughout the day, I have truly sought to remember the gospel: the entire redemptive work of God in Christ.

I hope this quick summary is a joy to you as well.

God bless and g'nite,
Tara B.

*

We will lack deep peace if we fail to understand that God is both completely holy and wonderfully merciful.

God is holy. He is completely free from all impurity and imperfection (Lev. 11:44). God is great and glorious. He is above all things and yet intimately associated with all things (Isa. 40:12–26; Ps. 145:3). Because God is holy, we ought to experience a sense of awe when we think of God. If our attitude toward God is that he is only our “buddy,” then we probably have little motivation to obey him when the going gets tough. If we have no fear of God or sense of his majesty, why would we ever follow the difficult and seemingly foolish command to love our enemies (Luke 6:27)? But if we truly know God, we will describe him just as Mr. Beaver, in The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe, describes the Christ-figure, Aslan: “. . . safe? ’Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good. He’s the King, I tell you.”5 As the holy King, God is to be honored and obeyed.

We are glorious ruins. We simply cannot revere God as we ought. Compared to his holiness, even our best is filth (Isa. 64:6). We are “glorious ruins” created in God’s image and likeness but damaged by the Fall (Genesis 1–3).6 Apart from the Spirit of Christ dwelling within, we are totally without the ability to do good or to choose what is right. All of us share in Adam’s sinful state of rebellion against God (Ps. 51:4). We are deceived and enslaved by sin (Ps. 19:12–14). Our thoughts, emotions, and actions flow out of our sinful hearts. Our sin traps us in a miry pit so deep that we cannot dig ourselves out. We are hopelessly lost in sin, unable to save ourselves (Rom. 1:18–3:20). The result of our sin is death (Rom. 6:23).

God is merciful. When the radiance of God reveals our sin, one temptation is to condemn ourselves and pull away from God. Like Elizabeth from the beginning of this chapter, we can easily enter into seasons of intense activity meant to “do all the right things” to try to earn God’s love and approval. Since we can never be good enough to compel God to accept or love us, we are in desperate need of his mercy (Ps. 40:2). God demonstrates mercy by not giving us what we deserve. Our sin requires punishment, but the mercy of God withholds it and even lavishes life upon us!

Praise God! His mercy to us is vast and new every day (Lam. 3:22–24). God saves us from our sin and gives us new life. He does this not because we deserve or earn his mercy, but because it brings him pleasure and demonstrates his great love for us (Eph. 1:3–5; John 3:16).

Jesus satisfies both the holiness and the mercy of God. The holiness and mercy of God meet in the crucifixion of Christ. Jesus’ life and substitutionary death on the cross fulfill the righteous requirements of a holy God and provide a way for God, through Jesus Christ, to save those who are his. Jesus voluntarily gave his life to ransom us from our captivity to sin—and eventual eternal death (Matt. 20:28 ). He put himself in our place, became our substitute, and took on himself the penalty of our own sins. Through the cross of Christ, both the justice and mercy of God are fully satisfied. In the words of John Piper, “The death of Christ is the wisdom of God by which the love of God saves sinners from the wrath of God, and all the while upholds and demonstrates the righteousness of God.”7

Even children can embrace this truth with confidence. When my (Judy’s) daughter, Robyn, was only ten years old, she gave her testimony at our church. As she proclaimed her faith publicly, I was moved to tears. Tears soon became laughter as Robyn surprised the congregation by saying, “I am grateful for Christ’s double imputation.” She explained how the righteousness of Jesus Christ had been imputed (credited) to her and how her sin was imputed (credited) to Jesus, which is why he died on the cross. I was amused to hear Robyn use this twenty-dollar phrase. Yet, we are all called to remind ourselves of this truth whenever we are tempted to doubt God’s love for us. Jesus took our place of punishment that we might stand in his place of perfection. When God looks at us, he sees Christ’s own righteousness because he has made a judicial declaration that the righteousness of Christ is imputed to all who trust in him. We have done nothing to deserve God’s gracious gift, but we are the grateful recipients of the blessings of a holy and merciful God. In this, we delight like a bride on her wedding day: “I delight greatly in the LORD; my soul rejoices in my God. For he has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels” (Isa. 61:10).

Sophia completely freaked out yesterday after she had to be woken up out of a deep sleep nap.
I mean–COMPLETELY.

Weeping, crying, even screaming.
Pacing the floor; wanting to be held; kicking away.

It was so pathetic. Awful. Sad.

I felt terrible for her–and no amount of prayer, cuddles, walking, singing, etc. would comfort her or “snap her out of it.”

(I seriously thought, “Is this a mental illness thing? Spiritual thing? MAN! She is completely freaking out.”)
But I just kept on comforting her; telling her we loved her and that Jesus loved her most of all; trying to distract her; praying for her, etc. etc.

She finally came to her senses (Thank You, God!!) and was sitting on my lap, exhausted, wet (from sweating from freaking out so much), so pathetically sad but CALM again ... and then, out of the blue, she said this:

"I have a lot of badness inside of me ..."

I asked her to repeat what she had said because my first thought was, “How could a three-year old have that kind of insight??” And she did and that was exactly what she had sad:

"I have a lot of badness inside of me ..."

Oh wow!

It’s times like that that I just LOVE being a Christian mom.
I was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO happy to tell her that yes, she has a lot of badness inside of her, but Jesus takes care of ALL of that badness. He does! He does!

I told her that I have a lot of badness inside of me and so does Daddy–that’s why we need the Savior.
I reminded her that our badness sent Jesus to the Cross to die in our place ... but that God raised Him from the dead!!! Jesus is no longer dead–He is alive!!! And that the same power that raised Christ from the dead IS the power at work in us TODAY saving us from our sin and delivering us from our badness.

I told her that Jesus’s GOODNESS is SO GOOD that it completely takes care of any badness in us!
I reminded her that there is forgiveness for her and now NO MORE CONDEMNATION because of Christ.

We just went on and on and on and on talking about the gospel.
It was one of the highlights of my life–and the perfect memory as I head to bed on this, my 37th birthday.

(Thanks for the happy birthday wishes by the way! It’s been a day where I didn’t really remember it was my birthday–but a good day nonetheless. Our flight was canceled due to weather so we had a circuitous route home that started at 2:00 in the MORNING!! ... but we’re here now and heading to sleep. Oh–and Lilikoi grew like TEN FEET in the two weeks we were gone. I could hardly recognize her. )

ANYWAY–I thought you might be encouraged by Sophie’s complete and utter meltdown–
And her complete and utter HOPE.

Remember!
We ALL have a lot of badness in us. We do!
That’s why we need the Savior.

God bless you, dear ones!

Sending you love from your tired pal,
Tara B.

One of our elders preached on Psalm 78 last Sunday. It was a sweet and edifying reminder of God’s covenant of grace and I was blessed by many of the points he made.

But one little “offhand” comment has stuck with me the most ...

Toward the end of the message, Elder Mattson was reminding us of the extravagant specifics that the covenant of grace has brought us (from guilt to forgiveness, slavery to freedom, citizens to family, bad master to Good Shepherd, etc.). And he gently reminded us:

God keeps both halves of the covenant.

Isn’t that the best news!?!
The Good News!?!

We can’t even keep up “our” end of the bargain–our Only Hope is that GOD keeps the covenant for us.
And He does.

I was thinking about that this morning and was immediately reminded of the hymn, “Come You Sinners!”

Remember the text?

Come, ye sinners, poor and wretched,
Weak and wounded, sick and sore;
Jesus, ready, stands to save you,
Full of pity, joined with power.

He is able, He is able;
He is willing; doubt no more.

Come ye needy, come, and welcome,
God’s free bounty glorify;
True belief and true repentance,
Every grace that brings you nigh.

Without money, without money
Come to Jesus Christ and buy.

Come, ye weary, heavy laden,
Bruised and broken by the fall;
If you tarry 'til you’re better,
You will never come at all.

Not the righteous, not the righteous;
Sinners Jesus came to call.

Let not conscience make you linger,
Nor of fitness fondly dream;
All the fitness He requires
Is to feel your need of Him.

This He gives you, this He gives you,
Listen to the Spirit’s call.

Even that sense that we NEED Him is a GIFT OF GRACE!

Oh, friends. This is a Good God that we serve. And trust. And worship. And love.
He IS good.
He is God!

Praise His holy name.

I finally had some (relatively) uninterrupted time to read through all of the cards and letters that came after our miscarriage. I was truly blessed, encouraged, and loved by the words that each friend wrote. Thank you again to everyone who reached out to us and loved us in this way.

One of the cards included a lengthy excerpt from Joseph Alleine’s little book, The Precious Promises of the Gospel. It ministered to Fred and me and we thought you might enjoy it too:

"From the curse of the Cross I will deliver you. Afflictions shall prove a wholesome cup to you; your Lord has drunk the venom into His own body and what remains for you is but a healthful potion which I promise shall work for your good.

Be not afraid to drink, nor desire that the cup should pass from you. I bless the cup before I give it to you. Drink all of it and be thankful; you shall find my blessing at the bottom of the cup to sweeten the sharpest afflictions to you. I will stand by you in all conditions, and be a fast friend to you in every charge. In the wilderness I will speak comfortably to you, and in the fire and water I will be with you.

I will be a strength to the poor and a strength to the needy, when the blast of terrible ones is as a storm against the wall. Your suffering shall not be a cup of wrath, but a grace cup; not a curse, but a cure; note a cup of trembling, but a cup of blessing to you. They shall not hurt you, but heal you. My blessing shall attend you in every condition. I say not only “Blessed shall you be in your basket, and blessed in your store,” but “Blessed shall you be in your poverty, and blessed shall you be in your straits”; not only shall you be blessed in your cities and your fields, but blessed shall you be in your beds and your banishments. Blessed shall you be when you are persecuted and when you are reviled and your name is case about as evil; yea, then doubly blessed.

My choicest blessing, greatest good, and richest sweets will I put into your blessing, greatest good, and richest sweets will I put into your evil things. These happy immunities, these glorious liberties of the Sons of God, by this immutable Charter I forever settle upon you. And I do in and with my covenant, unalterably, irrevocably, and everlastingly convey them unto you and confirm them upon you.

Yea, I will not only free you from your miseries, but will confer upon you royal privileges and prerogatives, and instate you into higher and greater happiness than ever you have fallen from.

Lo, I give Myself to you, and all things with Myself."

Now THAT is a good word.

Thank you Elder and Mrs. Feralio! For your friendship, love, kindness, oversight, encouragement, counsel ... for sharing yourselves with us. We appreciate you and love you very much.

And for all the rest of us – I really pray that we will ALL (myself included!) go back and really MEDITATE on the TRUTHS of the Gospel stated in that excerpt.

It’s rich stuff!
Worthy of a second read–even in blogland.

Soph’s in the (empty) tub waiting for me to come and scrub-a-dub-dub for her, so I have to dash.

Love to you!

Your friend,
Tara B.

Last night as we were all wrapped up in each other’s arms as a family–Fred reading Sophie’s Bible and doing Catechism questions, Sophie snuggled into both of us–Sophie made the following statement:

"I don’t want to go to Heaven. I just want to stay here with you. I want to be in our home right here in Montana."

Of course, we simply assured her that all of the things she loves about our home are simply reflections of our Real Home to come one day–Heaven; and that the things she loves about our home are even BETTER in Heaven; and ... of course ... that she shouldn’t worry about it, but just trust that God’s grace is toward her because of Christ and go to sleep.

And so she did.

But I lay there for a long time just holding her, kissing her, and pondering her statement.

She was SO sincere! And earnest.
It was very, VERY important to her. (As well it should be.)

I thought about one of C.S. Lewis’s “Letters to Children” (one of my ALL-TIME FAVORITE books!) where a mom was concerned because her young son loved Aslan more than he loved Jesus.

I don’t have the book with me here in the Salt Lake City airport (or else I’d get the exact quote for you) ... but I remember his responses as being something along the lines of:

Don’t worry about it.
Kids aren’t abstract thinkers.
It’s hard for them to picture Jesus–a “concrete,” beautiful, heroic, self-sacrificing, loving, LION is going to be much easier for your son to relate to than just the “idea” of Jesus.
Assure him that the things he loves in Aslan are really just the things he loves in Jesus.
And that God understands how little children’s minds work.
And don’t worry about it.

THEN, sitting here in the WorldClub, I downloaded my email and found yet another wonderful essay by RZIM’s Jill Carattini wherein she quotes C.S. Lewis as saying:

"There have been times when I think we do not desire heaven" he writes, “but more often I find myself wondering whether in our heart of hearts, we have ever desired anything else. You may have noticed that the books you really love are bound together by a secret thread. You know very well what is the common quality that makes you love them, though you cannot put it into words: but most of your friends do not see it at all, and often wonder why, liking this, you should also like that. Again, you have stood before some landscape, which seems to embody what you have been looking for all your life; and then turned to the friend at your side... and you realize that this landscape means something totally different to him, that he is pursuing an alien vision and cares nothing for the ineffable suggestion by which you are transported.” C.S Lewis, The Problem of Pain (London: Geoffrey Bles, 1940), 133-134.

And I thought, “Hmmmmmmmmmm .... maybe I should be thinking about Heaven today.”

And THEN I was thinking about this amazingly beautiful book I recently purchased for Sophia: Wait Until Then, by Randy Alcorn. And I thought, "I wonder how much longer I’m going to have to wait to read it to Sophia ... because to date, although I truly LOVE reading it (I think the words and illustrations are profound!) ... I cry too hard. And I don’t want Sophie to be troubled at too many Momma tears.

(Of course it’s OK for me to cry in front of her! But I think that certain depths of despair or sorrow are best shared with other adults–lest my tiny little lovie-muffin three year-old be overly burdened.)

And lastly, I was thinking about a couple of conversations I had this week with friends concerning how I am going to answer the innocuous question, “So–how many children do you have?”

I was thrown off my game a bit last weekend–my first out of state event since the week of our miscarriage–because as soon as someone asked me how many kids I had, this lovely/fancy ballroom just started to spin a bit as my dull mind tried to kick into gear and I thought, “Hmmmmmmm ... good question. Huh. Should’ve thought about this in advance. Hmmmmmmmmm ... ”

Because of course I have two–Sophie who is here with us and the baby that we lost a few weeks ago who now lives in Heaven. But do I REALLY need to bring up that sad loss every time someone is just making a little conversation?

Hmmmmmmm ....

I was surprised to find myself feeling, well, like I was somehow disregarding or “abandoning” the baby who died if I simply failed to acknowledge him/her.

But of course–I already struggle with being fairly relationally inept, so dropping a conversation-killing-bomb like, “Two, my daughter is three years old and we have one child in Heaven” doesn’t seem like the most wise, God-honoring, or loving of neighbor thing to do either.

(I did road test both responses, by the way, just to see how they went. Maybe you were on the receiving end of one of the two responses? Wonder what your response was …)

Having had some time to think about it and talk to some wise friends, I think I’ve landed on the “let love and wisdom dictate my response” answer. (I.e., there could ministry opportunities in mentioning our child in Heaven; but usually, I think I’ll just mention Sophia Grace and leave it there.)

All that to say ... I’ve been thinking a lot about Heaven in the last 12 hours.
And I am very grateful for the evidences of grace in my life that give me hope and assurance of my ultimate Home there one day.

(Because it sure doesn’t feel like THIS LIFE is my Home. I was just mentioning again to Fred this week how much I sometimes wish I could “belong” or “fit in”–rather than just floating around, trying to serve Fred and Sophie and our church and live a quiet life … but also doing these events or conciliations or, you know, blogging / writing ... but never really “belonging” anywhere. I’m not on staff with a ministry. I’m not “under care” by my Presbytery. I’m not practicing law; I’m not that good of a homemaker; and I’m not seminary trained. I’m stuck in this weird netherworld that is my life. To which my husband wisely responded, “Belonging is overrated, Tara. Just be yourself. Trust God. Do the next thing He calls you to. Trust that I’m looking out for you, as are Pastor Jason and elders Jeff and Frank. You’re OK. You’re doing OK.”)

So then I went to sleep too.

****

Whoa. This post is long and rambly. If I didn’t have to run to my gate, I’d reread it and edit it. (Was it Mark Twain who said, “Sorry! I didn’t have enough time to make this shorter.” ???)

I guess the bottom line is this: It’s not all about us anyway.
God is God and He does what makes Him happy.
Thankfully! (Amen!) It makes Him happy to save His children.

So for all who are in Christ—though this life is nothing but a constant death; though we are rejected and never quite fit in; though father or mother or sister or child reject us … we have hope.

Because this life is over very soon.
And the best IS yet to come.

Hope you’re all having a great Friday!

God bless you!

With love,
Tara B.

I woke up this morning thinking about how incredibly broken we all are.
It’s true!

Even those of you who look SO great! (Shirt-tuckers–coordinated–beautiful hair, nails, smart, articulate, beautiful)
Even you–like me–like all of us–are broken.
Ravaged by sin–even for the regenerate, our Old Man hates God and is truly “the enemy within.”

Sin bears horrific consequences in our lives every single day.

If we could ever even GLANCE at how ugly our sin is–we would be terrified and distraught.
And then we add in our additional enemies of Satan and the world?

Our only hope is in the power of the Triune God–Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
Alive.
At work.
Saving, redeeming, forgiving, adopting.

Bringing GLORY to Himself by forgiving us all our sins.
(Because it is God’s NATURE to be merciful!)

Making a WAY for His mercy through the Cross–where His JUSTICE was fully satisfied and His MERCY was fully satisfied ... so that we might be saved.

And He doesn’t do this begrudgingly.
He doesn’t REGRET saving sinners like you and me.
He doesn’t whine and complain because we’re so dull and slow to change; powerless; weak; wretched.

No!
He loves us.

God loves His children with an eternal love that is based on HIS covenant of grace–not based on us.
We are broken. So broken, in fact, that Scripture says we were DEAD in our sins!
(Can’t get more broken than dead, can you?)

But God grants us the gift of repentance and faith because it makes Him HAPPY to do so.
And of course ... for us ... this is our ONLY joy. Real joy. Eternal joy.

The love of the Father for broken children like us.

Thinking about all this brought me back to a post I wrote last year about Team Hoyt.
Did you read it? See the video?

This is the father-son triathlon team ... only, it’s really the father who is the triathlete and he CARRIES his profoundly disabled son 2.4 miles in the water, 112 miles on the bicycle track, and 26.2 miles on the running track ... over and over and over and OVER again.

Can his son add ANYTHING to his father’s work? Nope.
Is his son a BURDEN? It sure looks that way to our eyes–until you look at the LOVE in this father ... his tenderness, care, JOY in his son.

Watch this video–do you think daddy Hoyt thinks his son is a burden? NO WAY!

What about the son?
Is he fretting every day thinking, “Man! I have GOT to get my disabled legs to WORK! I have GOT to figure this thing OUT and make my palsied brain FUNCTION!”
(Could he? Is there ANY way he could WILL himself to be whole? Of course not.)

So what does he do?
He trusts his dad.
His dad loves him and takes care of him.
(Because apparently, either by saving grace or common grace, it is in this father’s NATURE to love his son.)

The spiritual analogies are too obvious for me to even state them ...
so I’ll just close by paraphrasing one of the profound truths that Pastor John Piper is always reminding us of:

"God’s glory and our happiness INTERSECT ... We truly ARE most satisfied in life when God is most GLORIFIED in us."

And also, I’d ask that you please take three minutes and watch this video.
It will be time well spent. I promise–you won’t regret it.

Heading into my day now–
Love to all,
Tara B.



From Sports Illustrated, By Rick Reilly

"I try to be a good father. Give my kids mulligans. Work nights to pay for their text messaging. Take them to swimsuit shoots.

But compared with Dick Hoyt, I suck.

Eighty-five times he’s pushed his disabled son, Rick, 26.2 miles in Marathons. Eight times he’s not only pushed him 26.2 miles in a wheelchair but also towed him 2.4 miles in a dinghy while swimming and pedaled him 112 miles in a seat on the handlebars–all in the same day.

Dick’s also pulled him cross-country skiing, taken him on his back Mountain climbing and once hauled him across the U.S. On a bike. Makes taking your son bowling look a little lame, right?

And what has Rick done for his father? Not much–except save his life.

This love story began in Winchester , Mass. , 43 years ago, when Rick Was strangled by the umbilical cord during birth, leaving him brain-damaged and unable to control his limbs.

"He’ll be a vegetable the rest of his life;'' Dick says doctors told him And his wife, Judy, when Rick was nine months old. ``Put him in an institution.''

But the Hoyts weren’t buying it. They noticed the way Rick’s eyes followed them around the room. When Rick was 11 they took him to the engineering department at Tufts University and asked if there was anything to help the boy communicate. ``No way,'' Dick says he was told. ``There’s nothing going on in his brain.''

"Tell him a joke,'' Dick countered. They did. Rick laughed. Turns out a lot was going on in his brain. Rigged up with a computer that allowed him to control the cursor by touching a switch with the side of his head, Rick was finally able to communicate. First words? ``Go Bruins!'' And after a high school classmate was paralyzed in an accident and the school organized a charity run for him, Rick pecked out, ``Dad, I want To do that.''

Yeah, right. How was Dick, a self-described ``porker'' who never ran more than a mile at a time, going to push his son five miles? Still, he tried. ``Then it was me who was handicapped,'' Dick says. ``I was sore for two weeks.''

That day changed Rick’s life. ``Dad,'' he typed, ``when we were running, It felt like I wasn’t disabled anymore!''

And that sentence changed Dick’s life. He became obsessed with giving Rick that feeling as often as he could. He got into such hard-belly shape that he and Rick were ready to try the 1979 Boston Marathon.

``No way,'' Dick was told by a race official. The Hoyts weren’t quite a single runner, and they weren’t quite a wheelchair competitor. For a few Years Dick and Rick just joined the massive field and ran anyway, then they found a way to get into the race officially: In 1983 they ran another marathon so fast they made the qualifying time for Boston the following year.

Then somebody said, ``Hey, Dick, why not a triathlon?''

How’s a guy who never learned to swim and hadn’t ridden a bike since he was six going to haul his 110-pound kid through a triathlon? Still, Dick tried.

Now they’ve done 212 triathlons, including four grueling 15-hour Ironmans in Hawaii . It must be a buzzkill to be a 25-year-old stud getting passed by an old guy towing a grown man in a dinghy, don’t you think?

Hey, Dick, why not see how you’d do on your own? ``No way,'' he says. Dick does it purely for ``the awesome feeling'' he gets seeing Rick with a cantaloupe smile as they run, swim and ride together.

This year, at ages 65 and 43, Dick and Rick finished their 24th Boston Marathon, in 5,083rd place out of more than 20,000 starters. Their best time? Two hours, 40 minutes in 1992–only 35 minutes off the world record, which, in case you don’t keep track of these things, happens to be held by a guy who was not pushing another man in a wheelchair at the time.

``No question about it,'' Rick types. ``My dad is the Father of the Century.''

And Dick got something else out of all this too. Two years ago he had a mild heart attack during a race. Doctors found that one of his arteries Was 95% clogged. ``If you hadn’t been in such great shape,'' One doctor told him, ``you probably would’ve died 15 years ago.'' So, in a way, Dick and Rick saved each other’s life.

Rick, who has his own apartment (he gets home care) and works in Boston, and Dick, retired from the military and living in Holland, Mass. , always find ways to be together. They give speeches around the country and compete in some backbreaking race every weekend, including this Father’s Day.

That night, Rick will buy his dad dinner, but the thing he really wants to give him is a gift he can never buy.

``The thing I’d most like,'' Rick types, ``is that my dad sit in the chair and I push him once.''

I couldn’t sleep last night. I won’t bother to list out all of the “reasons” why ... but it was hard and scary and I was incredibly troubled in my spirit.

At one point, I turned to Fred and said, “I think I’m going crazy.”
To which he replied: “You’re not crazy, Tara. You’re just sad.”

I could never merit this husband! This friend.
Such kindness and mercy.
All of my freakiness not driving him away–but even back in our courtship, just bringing out more of his stable, solid, patient love.

Thank You, God, for Fred!
And thank You for Your kindness and grace, reflected in my husband.

Blessed Thursday to you all–
Remember! It’s OK to be sad at times.

Your friend,
Tara B.

PS
Soph was so sweet last night ... actually she was ROTTEN, but what was sweet was when she turned to Fred and me and said, “Maybe you could pray for me.” And we said, “What a good idea!” And so we did. What a grace!

(BEFORE my previous morose post ... )

My friend sent me an email today and one line said:

"And His banner over us is LOVE!"

What a great reminder.

And what a friend too.

Remember that His banner IS over you!
And His banner is love.

Amen.

We pray for and support a missionary in Iraq, “RL.” He led the short-term missions team I was on to Outer Mongolia in 1991 (his family stayed on full-time and moved to Iraq soon after our brave forces liberated those precious people).

A few weeks ago, robbers broke into their home when RL was away teaching at a Bible conference. The robbers stole pretty much everything they had and then went on to BEAT Mrs. RL and their three children.

I wept as I read their letter last month. And now I’m weeping as I read the one that arrived today.

Do you know they’ve been responding to the robbers (who were quickly caught and thrown into jail)? By seeking justice, yet, but also by DOING MERCY.

They visit the robbers in prison. They bring them food. They share the gospel with them. They even petitioned to have one of the men released when it was clear that he was not actually involved in the crime beyond having made the tragic error of confirming where the RL’s lived. (And he is extremely sorry and repentant.)

Can you imagine? RL describes his family’s work and ministry like this:

"It is grace like this for which we have been created. I can’t help but wonder what the jailer at the prison and some of the guards think as they have listened to the gospel and watched us come with unconditional love. And now to see us work so hard to have a prisoner released to whom none of them or their own countrymen would give a second thought ...

This has to be the greatest job in the world."

God bless you, RL! Thank you for helping us all to remember the gospel.

I was very blessed to get to worship at Trinity Church yesterday. What a joy to gather with the saints and enjoy corporate prayer, worship, and the ministration of God’s grace through the preaching of His Word!

If I could, I would re-live the entire service for you ... but instead, I’ll share just a few (of the many!) things that I continue to think about and pray over since the close of the service yesterday:

- I loved the liturgy! Having come to faith as a teenager in a “stodgy old” Lutheran church (Spirit-filled! Vibrant! Alive!)–and having reveled in the creeds and confessions and “old hymns” (and loved it!), I really like being in churches with liturgy.

- They used a “Valley of Vision” prayer during the “Confession” time of the service and I thought, “MAN! Those Puritans knew what they were talking about!”

"Mighty King, Creator of Heaven and Earth, we, your children of dust come before you with humility. We have no robe to cover our sins, no loom to weave our own righteousness. We are always standing in filthy garments, and by grace we are always receiving a change of clothes–for you alone justify the ungodly. We are always going into the far country, and always returning home as a prodigal; always saying, “Father, forgive me”–and you are always bringing forth the best robe.

Every morning let me wear it; every evening return in it; go out to the day’s work in it; stand before the great white throne in it; enter heaven in its shining as the sun.

Grant me never to lose sight of the exceeding sinfulness of sin, the exceeding righteousness of salvation, the exceeding glory of Christ, and exceeding beauty of holiness, and exceeding wonder of grace."

- And then they quoted John Calvin’s Institutes and I thought, “Man! That John Calvin knew what he was talking about!”

"In like manner, how richly does he supply us with the means of contemplating his mercy when, as frequently happens, he continues to visit miserable sinners with unwearied kindness, until he subdues their depravity, and woos them back with more than a parent’s fondness?"

- And then I took two pages of notes on Pastor Todd’s (wonderful!) sermon on the prodigal son (thanks for your ministry, Pastor Todd!). It was so good to be reminded that the context for the prodigal son actually starts at verse ONE of chapter 15 (of Luke) when Jesus' propensity to hang around with “unholy” people really bothered the Pharisees and that it was a real “problem” that Jesus didn’t just tolerate “them” (the “unrighteous”) ... he actually enjoyed and CHOSE to be with them.

- How good it was to be reminded of JUST HOW AWFUL the prodigal son really was! That what he did was OUTRAGEOUS and INEXCUSABLE! The he, the son, was UNLOVABLE by ANY human standard. He was in “over the top moral decline.” ... This was SO encouraging because, of course, WE ARE ALL THE PRODIGAL SON. We are! And as we all know–we will only experience GRACE to the extent we begin to grasp the depth of our SIN. ("Tell me what you think about sin and I’ll tell you what you think about grace.")

- I was VERY convicted by kind of an “off-hand” comment Pastor Todd made about people who are self-righteous about the self-righteous. (Oooh! Ouch! Good point, Pastor.)

- And of course, I was moved to WORSHIP THE TRIUNE GOD as I remembered how the dignified patriarch father embarrassed himself in front of his entire community when he pulled his robe UP and RAN to his son. It wasn’t “regal”; it was in NO way deserved by his son ... but it was initiated by the father and the reconciliation was COMPLETE because of the FATHER (the KISS!) ... and the son could contribute NOTHING to his forgiveness and restoration as a son. (Just like us.)

- And then they included a Derek Webb song with the lyrics: "All her debts were cast on Me, and she must and shall go free."

The entire worship service was a sweet grace. I am grateful for Pastor and Mrs. Capen; Jason and Erin; Elder and Mrs. Burkhalter; Elder and Mrs. Malone; Deacons Young and Powers. Thank you for your ministry!

May God bless this church, I pray.

Aloha,
Tara B.

Pastor Alfred reminded us of many important truths last night during our Good Friday service. But one thing that stuck out to me was the irony of this:

The robbers who were crucified with Jesus were dying for their crimes. And at the same time mocking the One Who was dying for their crimes.

How could we not worship this Suffering Servant, Savior, King?

Blessed Easter to you all–

Yours,
Tara B.

“My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous” (1 John 2:1, ESV).

Our pastor preached an informative and inspiring sermon from Mark 15 last Sunday: "He Suffered Under Pontius Pilate".

I could quote the entire sermon to you! But instead, I encourage you to listen for yourself ... and I’ll just tempt you with this:

Judas’s kiss is our kiss.
The crowd’s fickleness is our fickleness.
The soldiers' sadism–all OURS.

In some unspeakable way, we own that day.
It is a mirror to our hearts.

Who handed Jesus over to death? The love of God the Father for us.

"Not Judas for money;
Not Pilate for fear;
Not the Jews for envy;
But the Father for love."
Octavius Winslow

Blessed Holy Week, my friends!

Yours,
Tara B.

(More from Sibbes' Puritan classic, The Bruised Reed ...)

"What should we learn from this, but to ‘come boldly to the throne of grace’ (Heb. 4:16) in all our grievances? Shall our sins discourage us, when he appears there only for sinners?

Are you bruised? Be of good comfort, he calls you. Conceal not your wounds, open all before him and take not Satan’s counsel ... Go boldly to God in our flesh; he is flesh of our flesh, and bone of our bone for this reason, that we might go boldly to him.

Never fear to go to God, since we have such a Mediator with him, who is not only our friend but our brother and husband. ‘Behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy’ (Luke 2:10)."

Amen!
Great joy! The greatest.

Though I am CRUSHED by the weight of my sin–
I can scarcely lift my eyes because I am rightfully ASHAMED ...

Christ lifts me up
And covers me.

Christ bears my shame
And gives me His righteousness.

Friends, brothers, sisters ... WE COULD NEVER DESERVE THIS!
But God lavishes it on His children.

May we worship Him today and every day.

Your sister in Christ,
Tara B.

Wow! The CCEF guys just keep on hitting 'em right out of the park! I truly believe that these men are writing the BEST books out there for Believers these days. (Although I wish their prices weren’t so crazily high sometimes–but I still whole-heartily recommend everything they ever write!)

I just started William P. Smith’s, Caught Off Guard–Encounters with the Unexpected God, and it is already a delight.

The preface starts out with some illustrations of how often we know a lot about God–but there is a GAP in how we actually live. Let me tempt you with an excerpt:

"For instance, some people talk about God’s omnipotence, yet they have no confidence that he brings this power into their lives when they feel out of control. Others know and talk about how Jesus forgives sins, but they walk around with a guilt that never seems to go away. Still others answer correctly that he does not harbor grudges, but they are afraid to come to him after they have yelled at their kids for the forty-seventh time. They know he is a friend of sinners, but they don’t have confidence that he wants to be their friends.

... I want you to see God’s concern for people in trouble–including those who have brought their problems on themselves. People who sin big, are scared of life, who resist wise counsel, who shy away from the Lord, and are angry with him. In short, people who have no reason to expect his mercy or help. Yet people who get what they don’t deserve in a good sense, because God is so much better than any of us believe. Because they experience his goodness, these people’s lives are radically changed. They have come to know it in their hearts, because they’ve seen his heart expressed in his actions."

Thank you, Dr. Smith! What a read. What a help.

I hope you’ll check out “Caught Off Guard” and make sure your church library has a copy too!

(No, no, I don’t work for CCEF and I have no ties to them other than praying for their ministry and supporting them financially. No one there has ever heard of me–I just sell hundreds of their books every year at my little events and I love and trust them all vicariously through their writings. )

Happy Thursday, all!

Love you bunches,
Tara B.

I just began reading the Puritan classic, The Bruised Reed, by Richard Sibbes, and it has already been a great encouragement to me.

I could quote every line, but let me start with this excerpt:

"What a support to our faith is this, that God the Father, the party offended by our sins, is so well pleased with the work of redemption! And what a comfort is this, that, seeing God’s love rests on Christ, as well pleased in him, we may gather that he is as well pleased with us, if we be in Christ!

For his love rests in a whole Christ, in Christ mystical, as well as Christ natural, because he loves him and us with one love. Let us, therefore, embrace Christ, and in him God’s love, and build our faith safely on such a Saviour that is furnished with so high a commission."

As one who “has no means of supply from himself,” I am greatly encouraged. As I hope you are too!

“As he has beams of majesty, so he has a heart of mercy and compassion.”

Amen & Amen!
Be of good cheer, my friends.

Love,
Tara B.

(I received an email from someone overseas and I’m just not 100% sure that it would be wise for me to write her directly. So I’m going to post my response here with the hopes that if she visits again, she will read it and be encouraged to put her faith fully in the finished work of Christ.)

Dear S,

Thank you so very much for writing and sharing some of your life story with me. It seems to me, based on what you wrote, that English is not your first language and I must start out by saying, “Wow!” Your English (as a non-native speaker) is phenomenal and I truly appreciate how you persevered in writing such a long email when it must have been quite a challenge. (I wish I could communicate in a second language that well.)

I must also say how very, very sorry I am for the suffering that you have endured in your life, S. This world is truly, “Not The Way It Was Supposed To Be” and the effects of the Fall are always with us. I am truly sorry that so much evil was done to you as a child—and I do pray that God will give you great grace to run to Him, grieve with Him, and trust that ONE DAY, every wrong will be righted because of the life, death, resurrection, and return of Jesus Christ.

One day there will be no more suffering. No more abuse. No more tears. Every injustice will be righted! And the damned will suffer in Hell while those who are in Christ will be pardoned because their just punishment will have been put on Jesus on the Cross.

This is our Hope.

You know, S, all of history is on a timeline … Creation, Fall, Redemption.
God is making things right—ultimately—one day.
But until Christ returns or we die, we suffer. We often suffer.

But we grieve with hope!
Because suffering is not the last word.

Christ WILL return and we WILL be with Him if we are born again by the Holy Spirit.

I pray for you, S. I pray that you will believe the gospel! (Excerpts from Pastor John Piper’s explanation of the gospel):

Romans 1-7 teaches that the most fundamental problem in the universe is that God’s human creatures – all of us – have sinned and fallen short of his glory and are now condemned under the omnipotent wrath of God. There is the problem of our condition called sin. And there is the problem of its consequence called wrath. Another way to say it is that there is real guilt on every person because of sin, and there is real condemnation over every person because the Judge and Maker of the universe is just and holy.

Paul’s conclusion after two chapters of as acting the prosecuting attorney is Romans 3:9, “What then? Are we better than they? Not at all; for we have already charged that both Jews and Greeks are all under sin; as it is written, ‘THERE IS NONE RIGHTEOUS, NOT EVEN ONE.’” Romans 3:22-23, “There is no distinction; for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” And there’s a good definition of what our sin is and why it has mainly to do with God, not man.

When he describes the sins of his own people in Romans 2:24, the climax of the indictment is this: “The name of God is blasphemed among the Gentiles because of you.” What makes sin sin is not first that it hurts people, but that it blasphemes God. This is the ultimate evil and the ultimate outrage in the universe.
The infinite, all-glorious Creator of the universe, by whom and for whom all things exist (Rom. 11:36) – who holds every person’s life in being at every moment (Acts 17:25) – is disregarded, disbelieved, disobeyed, and dishonored by everybody in the world. That is the ultimate outrage of the universe.

The message of Romans 3-7 is that God sent his Son, Jesus Christ into the world to live and die and rise again to be the ground of our justification and the power of our sanctification. If anyone anywhere in the world is going to get right with God or bear fruit for God, it will be through Jesus Christ alone. And he alone will get the glory. He is the great ground of our justification, and the great power of our sanctification.

No condemnation, because of Christ. And deep transformation because of Christ. One is called justification. One is called sanctification. We take our stand daily by faith on the once-for-all, unshakable rock of our Justification in Christ. And then we give ourselves daily by faith to the sanctifying work of Jesus in our lives. Oh, come and trust him.

Unbeliever, come to him and put your faith in him, and receive him as your righteousness, your pardon, your treasure. Believer, come to him, again and again and again and take him as your treasure, the rock of your righteousness before God, and the power of your love toward men.”

Dear S, you can be forgiven! Right with God—FOREVER.

Adopted by The One True God, the Perfect Heavenly Father.
His grace can fill such that you will be able to forgive even the most heinous sin—not because the other person deserves it but because you have been forgiven so much.

Oh, S! I pray that you will run to Christ and trust that there is no power greater than God.
Nothing can thwart His purposes!
And it is our call in life to worship Him. Forever.

Thank you again for granting me the privilege of praying for you!

I wish you all the best—

Prayerfully,
Tara B.

Please take a few moments to read Pastor John Piper’s journal entry from this week:

Hello, My Father Just Died

(He wrote it from Greenville, SC–the very city where I just was serving and taping the dvd series. I found out because one of my friends there has a child whose teacher is a relative of the Piper family.)

And please do keep this precious family in your prayers.

Thanks, all!

Love,
t

WHAT a great post over at PalmTree Pundit!

Thank you, Dr. Welch!
And thank you, PalmTree Pundit too.

I was feeling hopeless (again) about certain unbelievers that I have prayed for for years and years and years (and years!).

And then I read this RZIM Slice of Infinity.

What an encouragement!
I hope it blesses you too.

Happy Wednesday!

Yours,
Tara B.

I thoroughly enjoyed reading Jerry Bridges' book, “The Gospel for Real Life: Turn to the Liberating Power of the Cross ... Every Day” and I wanted to share a brief quote with you:

"The gospel believed every day is the only enduring motivation to pursue progressive sanctification. That is why we need to ‘preach the gospel to ourselves every day’”

Amen, Mr. Bridges!

And thank You, God, for giving us the grace to believe Your gospel!

Blessed, Happy Saturday to you all–

Yours,
Tara B.

Two weeks ago, our pastor (Rev. Dr. Alfred Poirier) preached on Mark 11:12-25: Jesus–God’s True Sanctuary.

We discussed the sermon in our small group last night and I was reminded again of just how much I LEARNED in that sermon. And I guess I was wondering if you guys already knew all this already.

Do you know, for example:

- Why Jesus cursed the fig tree?
- What Jesus actually DID in the temple (when he overturned the tables)? Oh, and if you say (like every subheading I’ve ever seen in a Bible), “He CLEANSED the temple,” our pastor would say, “Nope. He JUDGED it.”
- What the connection is between faith, prayer, and forgiving others?

This was just a FASCINATING sermon in every regard–We learned, we were challenged, and we loved Jesus more by the end.

If you have the time and inclination, I encourage you to give it a listen.

To “tempt” you further, I’ll tell you that he started out his sermon by asking us two questions that have stuck with me, so I’ll ask you too:

Where do I find sanctuary? Where do I go for refuge?

And then he reminded us that unbelief is the root of fruitlessness and that we have no safety (refuge) in our religious activity or works.

But only in Christ.

Amen!
Amen!

Preach it, Pastor Poirier!
And thank you for your Christ-exalting ministry.

Your grateful sheep,
Tara B.

Received a note from my friend Amy L. today which she ended with this:

"Then I remember four
certainties:

We are destined to die.
We will face judgment.
Christ’s sacrifice is sure.
Christ is coming again.

Everything else is frosting.
Maranatha."

Well, said, Amy!
Well said.

“Grace has now been revealed through the appearing of our Savior, Christ Jesus, who has destroyed death and has brought life and immortality to light through the Gospel.” 2 Timothy 1:9-10

“In Him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace.” Ephesians 1:7

So today’s RZIM “Slice of Infinity” was yet another stellar essay by Jill Carattini ...

(By the way … do you subscribe to this daily devotional from Ravi Zacharias International Ministries yet? I’ve only recommended them like, what, two hundred times now? Seriously! I have subscribed to various devotionals over the years and always ended up CANCELING my subscription (because who has time to read anything “extra” in her Inbox? Not me! ) … EXCEPT for this one. I often end up filing the content away for further meditation and repeated readings. AND since it must send out at midnight or something, whenever I get my next day’s devotional in my Inbox “live,” it’s a gentle reminder that I’m working too late and I should just GO TO BED. )

Anyway … today’s message is entitled, “With the End in Sight” and I would post it here if their copyright so allowed, but it doesn’t. Sorry!

But I THINK it is OK for me to tempt you with a smidgen that will hopefully encourage you to subscribe and support their ongoing ministry ... so here goes:

"In his book Reaching Out, author Henri Nouwen defines a stranger as someone who is “estranged from their own past, culture and country, from their neighbors, friends and family, from their deepest self, and from God.” I do not know any honest soul who cannot find himself in that definition in some way each day. At the sound of breaking news, in the silence of an anguished heart, even in the buzz of familiarity, there is a sense of alienation that wells up within us. But alienation only reminds us that we are aliens, and homesickness only tells us that we are not yet home. All is not as it will be, but another kingdom is the end in sight. Until then, we long for promises in the distance and we wait estranged by hope. We move toward Christ as pilgrims and he moves toward us as King."

Thank you for this encouraging reminder, Jill Carattini!

And thank You, God, for giving all of us homesick aliens a Home.

Hope your Wednesday is going well, friends!

(Sophie woke up BARFING. We’re on round 16 now ... Fred even stayed home to help me because she’s just so sick. Poor darling. I THINK she might be keeping a little Pedialyte down right now. Thank God.)

Happy, blessed day–

Your friend,
Tara B.