considerable grace

Well, we’re supposed to take off for a Midwest family adventure tomorrow ...

I am speaking at a church in St Louis and Fred & Sophie are coming with me to do a little “Barthel family visit” while I teach and then we’re all meeting up with my family for a week of Chicago fun.

(AND to celebrate my mother and stepfather’s TEN YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF SOBRIETY. Can you believe it? Ten years ago they burned down their house in a drunken stupor–November 2, 1997–and here we are ten years later, by God’s grace, celebrating their “anniversary” as a family. Wow. Oh, and yes, I have their permission and blessing to share that. )

My concern is this ... Sophie is SICK. Really sick. Sick in a strange way that she’s never been sick before ... she just grabs her tummy and SCREAMS/CRIES in acute distress.

No right-side guarding (appendicitis fears). No fever. No vomiting. No other flu-like symptoms, but apparently (according to my doc), there is some horrible gastrointestinal flu going around Billings that just has HORRIBLE pain. Poor, poor kid.

If you might please pray for her, I would appreciate it. When she’s in a wave of pain and I am powerless to do anything other than pray it is just so hard. (Makes me VERY aware of all of the many, many dear ones who have to watch their children suffer every single day!)

Oh, and just to give you a smile re: this whole “Soph is sick” thing ...

During a brief respite yesterday she said to Fred expectantly/hopefully/happily:

“Daddy! My flu has FLOWN!”

Fred thought for sure that I must’ve said that or coached her, but nope. It’s just our sweet funny little lovie bear having fun with words.

I really hope she’s feeling better soon!! I wonder if they’ll even let me on the PLANE if she’s crying hard??

Hope you all enjoy a lovely Wednesday!
And thanks in advance for your prayers–

Love,
Tara B.

If you only read one thing today, please read this:

A Blessed Assurance (Tim Challies)

"Precious in the eyes of the Lord is the death of His saints." Psalm 116:15

This life truly is not our Home.

If you don’t already subscribe to the free e-publications from Peacemaker Ministries, I encourage you to sign up today!

(And not just because my cutie-bear husband oversees them!)

Today’s enews was the best issue to date–and if you didn’t already read it, I hope you’ll sign up today!

Peacemaker Ministries NEVER gives your email address to ANYONE. Ever.
(So you don’t have to afraid of SPAM. Blech.)

And no, I don’t get any kind of referral fee or anything ... I just really think you’ll be blessed.



Happy, Blessed Tuesday to you!

Love,
Tara B.

Taking a cue from our brilliant, godly, and fun friend, PalmTree Pundit, I would like to offer my first “quote of the day” ...

Taken from a Wendy Alsup essay on “The Ideal Christian Woman”:

"First of all, “godliest” is a bad label. It implies we determine our godliness by comparing ourselves to others. “She’s godlier than that other lady, so that makes her the godliest.” Wrong! Christ is our standard of perfection, and we all fall short of His glory. The best analogy I’ve heard is that it is like someone standing on a sheet of paper and claiming to be closer to the sun. When we try to use the label “godliest,” we are equally absurd."

To tempt you further (I do hope you’ll pop on over and read it), just consider a few more lines from Mrs. Alsup’s SPOT ON essay:

"We have many godly, mature ladies at Mars Hill with great wisdom to offer their sisters in Christ. The first quality of all of them is humility. They realize their unworthiness and don’t hold their preferences on childbirth, breastfeeding, education, dinner prep, and so forth as anything for which to pat themselves on the back. In fact, among the mature, Christlike women I know at Mars Hill, there are diverse opinions on each of these issues. Also, we have many godly women who are not married and/or do not have children. These women too are humble servants, hospitable with their resources and Christlike in their priorities.

I have definitely felt pressure from godly Christian women. But rather than feeling peer pressure to conform to some outward stereotype, I have felt pressure to know God, spend time in His Word, to pray, to be humble, to love my husband and children, and to embrace my role in their lives. While I have gleaned great practical information on breastfeeding, education, childbirth, dinner prep, etc from these ladies, I haven’t felt pressure to conform to their image. No–they point me to conform to Christ’s image (Romans 8:29)."

Well said. Well said indeed!

Can you believe that my camera broke this weekend! Right as I was in the most “boy it’d be great to have photos of THIS” times! Oh well. It was just the screen, so I continued to take pics by looking through that tiny little HOLE in the upper left corner. (I didn’t even know cameras had those any more!) I was hoping that maybe the camera brains were working still ... AND THEY WERE!

Anyway anyway ... we had a really nice family Sabbath enjoying a gorgeous autumn day and I thought some of you might enjoy the pics. (I assume that all of these family photos really BUG others of you – but this is still the best way for me to keep people updated, so I hope they don’t drive too many of you too crazy. )

Blessings and joy,
Tara B.

Here’s the link for the sermon post on our church’s website ...

But I wanted to process through my notes one more time this morning (nothing like re-running the sermon to start your week off right, eh?) and I thought that even my unorganized notes might be a small blessing to you. So here goes ...

The sermon was “Confessing our Sins (part 2)” and Pastor Alfred preached again from 1 John 1:5-2:2.

One of his opening illustrations was from a Wall Street Journal article on how “Confession is Making a Comeback.” This article gave all sorts of examples of different ways that people are “confessing”–to friends, priests, even to a website called (no joke!) “I’ve screwed up dot com.”

His sermon is rich with in-depth teaching on what “repentance” and “do penance” and “the sacrament of penance” have meant throughout the ages. (I didn’t know that the 4th Centurty view differed from the 16th century, for example.) But just a few of the things I am thinking about the most this morning include:

- How just saying that you are encouraging “confession” might not be a good thing if you don’t know what the Scripture says and/or if you are not encouraging what the Scripture says.

- Have you ever struggled with the guilt and shame of sin and KNOWN that apart from forgiveness you are going to Hell? I hope so! That is when we begin to get serious about our sin.

- When we’re thinking about CONFESSION, we are to remember that the emphasis in Scripture is what GOD has done–not how we FEEL, how SINCERE we feel like we’re being, how many tears we shed. It’s not our tears or our sincerity that commend us to God ... but God Himself Who saves sinners.

- Christ is the Main Figure in confession of sin. Jesus kept the Father’s commands completely, perfectly, personally. We give Jesus our sins and He gives us His perfect righteousness.

- When we confess, God the Father asks, “And what do YOU have for ME?” We say, “Your own Perfect Son.” And God replies, “It is enough.”

- Jesus' propitiatory death is not JUST enough to AVERT God’s holy wrath ... Jesus SATISFIES God’s wrath. It is SPENT on the Very Son of God.

- Hell came to Calvary on that Day and jumped on the Cross. So yes, be resolved not to sin! But that doesn’t save you. It is either Hell or Jesus ... which one do you want? Cling to Christ and be saved!

And the thought that I woke up thinking about/processing/praying about is this:

Reading God’s Word and prayer are the deeds of intimacy.

It’s not like “having to” go to the gym every day. The amazing truth is that God WANTS to be intimate with us! And these spiritual disciplines are the deeds of intimacy.

Thanks, Pastor Alfred, for pointing us to Christ yet again.

I’m logging off now to read God’s Word and pray.

Love ya bunches and Happy Monday!
– Tara B.

PS
To answer Deb’s question “up here” in my Monday evening link-to-the-sermon-online edit (rather than in a comment) ... I think if you listen to the sermon, Pastor Alfred even mentions the James 5 passage you quoted and says something to the effect of, “Sure! Absolutely! It’s good to confess our sins to one another.” But just as you noted, we do so NOT to be mediators or TO FORGIVE sin ... but simply to preach the gospel to one another and REMIND one another that “if we confess our sins, GOD is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” (that’s one of the first verses Sophia Grace memorized!). Thanks for the great comments, ladies! Love ya – tkb

I answered an interesting question over at PeaceGals and thought that some of you (OH PRETTY PLEASE!!) might like to chime in too.

The topic is basically “What is it like to be a Christian peacemaker?” ... so even if you don’t FORMALLY work in “Christian conciliation” (really–there are VERY VERY FEW people who do “full time”), would you please share your thoughts with this young lady?

Thanks, all!

Yours,
Tara B.

—–

Welcome Kwaite! I’m excited to meet you and learn of your interest in Christian conciliation.

I’m going to do my best to answer your questions, but I also wanted to start out by saying that I truly believe that all Christians are called to be peacemakers. (“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the sons of God.”) So to a certain extent, even if you end up being some super-duper great corporate lawyer or criminal defense attorney or whatever, I do pray that you will always be growing as a peacemaker too.

AND … no matter what “career path” you choose, I would encourage you to consider how, as an attorney, you might have a SPECIAL opportunity to serve as a Christian conciliator in your family, church, community, and your chosen specialization (even if it ends up NOT being Christian conciliation “full time”).

The truth is that if you are a woman after God’s own heart; if you love His Word and His Bride; if you are spiritually mature and you live for God’s glory in eternity to come … you are going to be doing “this ministry” whether you are “officially” doing something else or not.

Really? We’re just talking about living out the gospel!

But I do want to answer your specific questions too, so here goes …

Thanks again for writing!

Your sister in Christ,
Tara B.

1) In what way do you find the work interesting? Fulfilling?

It is ALWAYS interesting and fulfilling to serve God. We can be working at Target or running a multi-billion-dollar corporation or translating the Bible in a shack in a jungle or driving our kids to a playdate. To paraphrase (or is this a quote?) John Piper, we are most fulfilled when God is most glorified. Our happiness and His glory intersect. (So, although we do NOT glorify God because it makes us happy–we glorify God because He is God!—we are most happy/blessed when God is most glorified.)

In particular related to Christian conciliation, however, I would say that I find it particularly interesting because:

1. Christian conciliators have the privilege of dealing with the HEART (the “root” Jesus says) of the matter IN ADDITION to the material/substantive issues. And because the root of destructive human conflict is tied to matters of WORSHIP (James 4:1-3), we have the amazing privilege of pointing people to God in right worship (and thus, turning to the Word AND working with their churches) … so we are (to the best of our abilities) lay “theologians” and lay biblical counselors IN ADDITION to dealing with technical material issues. It is incredibly hard work and never boring.

2. Christian conciliators serve in a never-ending variety of cases. Intellectual property disputes, criminal cases, employment disputes, marriage/family/divorce/child custody … if you serve very long in Christian conciliation, you’ll probably begin to see a wide gamut of cases. Therefore, you are always learning BUT (unless you specialize in a certain area), because you are not serving as the ADVOCATE, you don’t have to stay up on every single current jot and tittle of local/state/federal law (that is the job of the attorneys involved in the cases).

3. Christian conciliators get to play a tiny part in the HUGE work that God is doing—and it is ALWAYS amazing and astounding to see God work. It’s like a tiny glimpse of eternity! We confess that God is real and alive and active and moving … but then, in the ministry of biblical peacemaking, we get to SEE IT. I mean—really truly see God at WORK in the hearts of His children. What an honor. What a joy.

2) What do you find most surprising about your job and this field?

How apathetic most Christians are regarding the importance of biblical peacemaking. Our relationships are THE WAY that “the worlds will see that the Father sent the Son and the Father loves them” (John 17:20-23) … our LOVE for one another shows that we are the disciples of Jesus … but most of us are NEVER taught this at all and even if we are taught that it’s important, we are never TAUGHT or HELPED to actually live it out/obey. Our seminary professors, Bible college professors, pastors, other ordained leaders, lay leaders, biblical counselors don’t know … so of course the sheep don’t know … and so our relationships look just like the WORLD. (Well, actually, WORSE than the world, usually … because we Christians can be so graceless and critical and proud!)

It doesn’t surprise me any more, but it did at first. And it still does make me very sad. (And motivated to keep trying to serve and encourage responsive obedience and faith and intimacy with God in whatever little sphere of influence God grants me with each day.)

3) What did you wish you had known about this job before you started?

I wish I could’ve talked heart-to-heart with other Christian conciliators who were really doing this work and ministry especially regarding:

1. How great my weaknesses were (my need for further growth in grace, wisdom, and maturity!) and also how much more I needed to learn regarding biblical counseling and ecclesiastical authority.

2. How important THE CHURCH is to this ministry: my own church (for oversight and counsel and help) and the churches of the conciliation clients I serve (because Christian conciliators only have a VERY LIMITED ROLE in the lives of clients, but the LOCAL CHURCH is where lasting change happens).

3. Whether Christian Conciliation could be a Solvent Business Model. (That link is to a previous blog I did on that topic.)

4) If you had to do things over, would you choose the same career path?

Absolutely. But I didn’t really pick this career path—I honestly didn’t. I never even thought about going to law school until after I had already GRADUATED from undergrad. (I started out in piano performance and ended up with a degree in psychology.) All during law school, I had no idea why I was there (except to meet Fred, of course! Day two of grad school! Ahhhhhhh … that was worth even that pesky ol’ Bar Exam!) So thank God for Christian Legal Society where I picked up the first edition of The Peacemaker … but really I was just SO convicted because I really AM the worst worst worst at relationships (even worse than cooking). But God gives us more grace!

(So just to be clear … I didn’t really “choose” this path. I’m just ol’ Tara. Along for the ride. One day at a time.)

5) What type of person would not be a good fit for this job?

- Spiritually immature: low view of God, His Word, and His Bride

- Worldly: motivated by financial gain, prestige, “success”

- Proud: high view of self (education, skills, gifts) and unwilling to receive counsel; overlooks her own weaknesses (while criticizing weaknesses in others)

- Unskilled regarding the application of Scripture to the HEART

6) What abilities and characteristics are needed to succeed in this field?

- Spiritually mature: lover of God, saturated in Scripture, high view of the Church

- Eternal perspective: motivated by the things that will REALLY last (Heaven!); missionary mindset regarding possessions, house/cars/clothing/jewelry; willing to take the lowest seat and serve in secret; viewing “success” as FAITHFUL OBEDIENCE (rather than temporal results)

- Humble: never draws attention to herself; uses gifts, skills, and education to draw people out and serve/encourage/bless them; TEACHABLE—willing to see her weaknesses and sins in light of the gospel and REPENT; GRACIOUS … quick to overlook and forgive others (while having an accurate view of her own “areas in need of further sanctification”)

- A student of all things CCEF (the Christian Counseling and Education Foundation) so that she can counsel Scripture to the HEART (rather than just calling people to GOOD WORKS or using secular, Man-centered, felt-need disease models of “Christian counseling” that are Christ-less and Cross-less)

Wow. I didn’t touch my laptop or even check email for TWO WHOLE DAYS!!!

Seriously ... I have no idea how long it’s been since I could say that. Even in Hawaii and Mexico I checked email all the time.

But not in the last two days ... Sophie and I just zoomed up to Helena to visit TJ & Samara & Eleanor Scout & William ... and I was the happiest and most relaxed I’ve been in I don’t know how long.

The kids played. We took turns keeping them alive and occupied and in between I even took TWO NAPS! Right there on their couch as Samara held three kids in her lap and read and read to them. (No one read Amelia Bedelia that Auntie Samalama!)

It was so great to see them. I miss them more than I can say.
I know that beyond a shadow of a doubt I am a happier and more loving mother because of these friends.
They are SO different from me! And I love love love 'em.

Hope you enjoy the pictures–

And sorry for just disappearing like that. I try to keep things going up daily on this blog ... but I have to say ... it was fun to just veg-out.

Happy Sabbath-Eve!

Love,
Tara B.

Dress-up (poor William Henry!) and Cinderella-watching for bedtime ...



Making jewelry together!



The girls were big enough to ride the carousel by themselves!



Learning how to make a fire from Uncle TJ ...





Only Auntie Samara could make Princess Sophia’s hair so pretty for the church party!



Have you ever petted a REAL TURKEY?



Want the WORLD’S BEST CHRISTMAS PRESENT? Buy an original painting from Taylor Lynde!! (Thousands of dollars in galleries, but small prints are available on Ebay!)

OR ... if you can’t do that ... how about some FACE PAINTING?

Had a great morning with our little Pre-K “class” ... boy those children are precious! I just love spending time with them.

AND it is SUCH a joy to get to spend time with their moms and siblings over the lunch time. I am always encouraged AND I learn a ton too.

For example ... one mom asked another mom how to handle a (very active!) boy who LOVES to climb. And climb. AND CLIMB. This was the reply:

"If you don’t look, they won’t fall."

Too funny. And probably accurate, eh?

Next lesson that keeps bopping around my heart and head?

I was sharing about how, this past weekend, I was looking forward to Sophie’s birthday party (as I was buying little girl sized grass skirts and other ALOHA luau tropical wear on ebay) ... but THEN how I was struggling that night with those “Tara you are SO STRANGE” condemning thoughts in the night. ("WHY do you have a party? Other families don’t do that!" “Are you being a good STEWARD buying (super cute!) grass skirts?!?” etc. etc.) And THEN I was commenting on how I just need to RELAX.

Another friend replied so lovingly and SO wisely:

"You do, Tara. You do need to relax. It is a discipline to ENJOY."

In my life, I never thought that thought: It is a discipline to ENJOY.

But of course she is right.

And so I shall. I shall enjoy.

Thank God for friends!

Love ya and Happy Tuesday,
Tara B.

My darling Fred was at church for six hours yesterday–and Sophia and I were there for five and a half. Worship team practice, Sunday School, church, a wonderful luncheon, and then an amazing presentation by two of our missionaries ... and before we knew it, it was 2:30! What a day. What a good day.

Pastor Alfred preached a rich sermon on "Confessing our Sins (Part 1)" and I encourage you to zip on over to our church’s website and listen for yourself.

I want to tempt you with just a few points, and also encourage you to listen to a Pastor Alfred CLASSIC sermon (that I have recommended many times on this blog): Are You Desperate for a Savior? Seriously. I just don’t know that any of us could spend 45 minutes in a more God-centered way than to listen to that sermon again. I listen to it at least once a year.

OK, here are just a few points from yesterday’s sermon:

- A half truth about God is a whole lie.

- Any real, true concept of sin is always understood in relation to God. God is Light and there is no darkness in Him.

- We are walking contradictions when we claim to KNOW God but we don’t DO the things He requires of us. We say, “I want out of my suffering” and yet “I walk in the Light.” This is a walking contradiction.

- Any time you love someone you pay for it. You suffer for it. (That’s love.)

- Sin is always a barrier to our relationship with God.

- Fellowship with people assumes fellowship with God.

- If you have a little view of SIN, you have a little view of the Savior. (We say, “Yeah, I’m a sinner.” But can you get specific?!)

- When we confess, we will be tempted to believe our Old Nature and our Adversary and think, “God won’t forgive me. Again! The 100th time. The 1,000th time!” But this is a LIE. The truth is that although WE are arbitrary in our love and forgiveness (we claim to forgive but we pull back from people, we look down on them, something still stands between us) ... GOD IS NOT ARBITRARY. God is FAITHFUL. God does not tire of us. He has promised to forgive and we can BANK on His forgiveness because it has been SECURED by the eternal work of Christ. The justice and mercy of God KISS on the Cross of Jesus Christ and God forgives His children.

- When we confess, Heaven rejoices. When we DESPAIR of EVER changing, EVER being able to “get over this sin!” ... that is EXACTLY when we feel our need for the Savior. We cry out, “I can’t change! I can’t change!” and God responds, “My son, my daughter ... the Son of God came to DESTROY the work of the Devil.” Flee to Jesus and find forgiveness for your sins!

Amen?
Amen!

Preach it, Pastor Alfred!

How I thank God for forgiveness.

Wow!

I just found out (HT: Randy Alcorn’s blog!) that the ENTIRE DesiringGod Conference is available FOR FREE online–videos, audios, the whole bit.

I encourage you to check it out–I truly thank God for the ministry of John Piper and the entire DesiringGod team. Their website is absolutely AMAZING. Whenever I want to research a topic, I always stop there and mine through their sermons, articles, etc.

Happy Monday–
Tara B.

In four days, Sophia and I will road-trip to Helena to visit our dear friends, the Lyndes. (Oh! How I still miss having these dear, dear friends close here in Billings.)

In eleven days, Fred & Sophie and I will fly to Chicago for a Midwestern adventure. (I’ll speak at a women’s retreat over the weekend and then, after they spend time with Fred’s family, I’ll rejoin Fred & Soph to visit with my mom & stepdad and my sister & “her Fred” in the wonders of Chicago. Sophia Grace is already talking about dinosaurs & The Art Institute & playtime with Uncle Fred and Aunt Kali.)

But honestly? One of the reasons WHY we expanded what could’ve been a quick trip to St Louis for me to speak at a church is because that week is the week that our second child would have ("should have"–but for the sovereignty of God) been born. And I really thought, even months ago, that the distraction and something happy for me to focus on and think about would be good for me.

Just last week Soph was talking about Heaven and about how she would see Grandpa Calvin and Uncle Mike and “dance with her baby brother or sister.”

(It’s hard to suffer well, isn’t it?)

Anyway ... I woke up at 2AM (again) with my mind racing and my heart burdened, so I began to walk down some blog search links and I found this heartbreaking one from our dear, beloved Pastor Piper:

Felicity Margaret Piper

Please do pray for this precious family as they grieve this heart-wrenching loss.

So much suffering!
So much suffering.
This life is truly “nothing but a constant death.”

But, thankfully, then we get to go Home.
One day.
One Good Day. “Those whom God the Father gave to Christ” get to go Home.

It’s 4:21AM and I’m going to try to sleep again.
Soph cried out in the night around 10:30PM and I ran to her bed and cuddled-up against her as she said (from some deep-down-subconscious-barely-awake-place, “I’m glad when you shnug-shnug (cuddle) with me, Momma.”

Me too, dear one.
Momma loves to hold you too.

Thank God for our children!
Those in Heaven and those here on earth.

Amen and amen.

And g'nite/g'mornin,
Tara B.

PS
An update ... I just found this online too: What I Said at My Granddaughter’s Funeral by John Piper

Fun Fun Fun!

We love Punkin' Patch Time!



Poor ol' Jack ...
(Soph named him “Jack” and asked Fred to make him SAD because “he lost his puppy.”)

I was reviewing my sermon notes from last Sunday when Pastor Andy Selle preached a powerful sermon from Revelation 21 and I just HAD to mention just one quote from the very end of his sermon ...

(He was reminding us of how the Heavenly Order has broken into and IS breaking into the TURMOIL of life and ONE DAY The Bride will be ready and we will see our fellow Believers in That Light ... so we can be HONEST SINNERS NOW without any pretension or disillusionment ...)

"And on that Great Day–when the worlds BURN ... our words of forgiveness, love, kindness, forbearing, dying to self ... will shine RESPLENDENT LIKE DIAMONDS. On that Good Day."

Oh, oh, oh!

Preach it Dr. Selle!
And be glorified, we pray, dear Lord!

Be glorified in us this very day–by the power of Your Holy Spirit
In accordance with Your Word.

Even now as we prepare to gather tomorrow in corporate worship on Your Sabbath
(the very VERY best day of the week).

Amen & Amen

And g'nite all,
Tara B.

(HT brittlecrazyglass & apparently Tim Challies too!)

NOT what we’d call “biblical counseling” at all ...

Well ... I’ve seen this on other blogs, but I’ve never experienced it myself before today ...

I’ve been tagged by my friend, Sarah Joy!

"meme break…You have to open the book you’re currently reading on page 161 and read the fifth sentence on the page ... “

So ... the most recent book I read was this morning, ”The Complete Book of Arts & Crafts Grades K-4" and page 161 is actually (strangely!) the exact craft my friend and I are preparing for next week’s pre-K co-op! The fifth sentence reads:

"3. Place a leaf on your work space with the vein side up."

Now THAT’S stimulating, eh?

(I even braved a trip to MICHAEL’S with two four year-olds to get rubbing paper and yarn! No panic attacks or anything. Now seriously ... THAT’S growth.)

Other page 161’s in other books I have in the “reading” position around my house?

- “Presently a loud bumping noise overhead proclaimed her presence in Mr. Partridge’s office.” (Strong Poison by Dorothy L. Sayers)

- (not exactly the fifth sentence–but it’s OH SO GOOD!) “The Christian world is ministered to by tired people ... Show me a great church and I’ll show you some tired people.” (The Call to Joy & Pain by Ajith Fernando, quoting Kent Hughes)

- “I wonder why the person put leaven in the loaf?” (Young Children and Worship by Sonja Stewart & Jerome Berryman)

- “What will you do if the other person does not confess his or her sins?” (The Peacemaker by Ken Sande)

- (again, not exactly the fifth sentence–but oh so good!) "I choose to be rude, Sir, and to be hard of hearing." (The Western Canon: The Books and School of the Ages by Harold Bloom, quoting Moliere’s Alceste in The Misanthrope)

I’ll stop there before I show how many books I REALLY have PARTIALLY read/started and reveal in even greater clarity how truly strange I am.

Now I’m supposed to “tag” five other bloggers, right? Hmmmmmmmmmm ... I’ll post their names here just in case they want to participate, but in the spirit of, “I never forward emails,” I won’t email them or anything. (No pressure! I can’t imagine they’ll have the time to participate even if they want to.)

How about Molly, Anne, Martha, Pastor JollyBlogger, and Shelley

Do you have any relationships in your life that are just ASTOUNDINGLY HARD to persevere in?
I do.

One, in particular, has been pretty much a CONSTANT and CONSISTENT source of suffering for me for, well, months now.

Every email. Every in-person visit. Pretty much every interaction it’s like I’m being kicked in the gut.
(Or–more accurately–THE HEART.)

It’s like this person’s default of Tara is just SO BAD that every word has the implication of judgment and condemnation.

Tara = failure
Tara = bad
Tara = worthless
Tara = makes stupid decisions and is really good for nothing
Tara = "I need to constantly confront / warn / rebuke her and never ever give her even ONE word of encouragement; never ever even MENTION something good. Period."

Oh oh oh! And I was having SUCH a sweet week serving Fred, Sophie, our church–even our stupid ol' dog.

And then this.

Isn’t it hard?
Isn’t it just SO HARD to keep our hearts FIXED on JESUS–and not give in to the temptation to be fixed on graceless criticism?

To listen, learn, be teachable, have a humble and open spirit ...
But NOT give TOO MUCH POWER to PEOPLE.

Because isn’t it also true that it is just SO EASY to interpret things in the way that is MOST HURTFUL TO OURSELVES?

And really? WHAT MATTERS?
What actually matters?

What does GOD think of me?

Am I His because of the life, death, and resurrection of His precious, beloved Son?

Is there a place for me?
YES.

And so I pray again (through my tears) ... please don’t let me close my heart, Lord.
Please help me to love–and love–and love (even though love entails risk and sometimes I will be hurt).

Please help us to be WISE (for example, Fred and I are discussing whether this person should really just have all of his/her contact with me come THROUGH FRED FIRST so that Fred can help soften/interpret it so that I don’t have to be crushed over and over and over again.)

Please don’t let me live for ME, God ... but please help me to live for YOU.
May I serve You, God, and serve this person too.

We’re all such messes!
We’re all in process.

Love for God.
Love for neighbor.
This is my prayer.

Hope your Friday is going better than mine.
(Weak smile here if I knew how to put such a graphic smiley in this blog post.)

Love ya bunches,
Tara B.

Someone asked about the rugs in our schoolroom ...



They are both from Target.com and we love them both!

What a gift of grace to get to be Mama Tara back here in Domestic Diva Mode ...

I just loved cuddling with Sophia after breakfast and making lunches ...
Giggles & talking ...
(Her) singing all 66 books of the Bible ...
Our “Psalm of the Day” and praying together ...
(Her) reading a “LEVEL 2!” book out loud to me (this was very exciting to both of us!) ...
Violin & more giggles & off into even more playtime.

We are beyond blessed. Such luxury. Such overwhelming, lavish mercy!
Grace to be saved by God
put into His Family
given a home in the love of my husband
and a daughter! (she lights up my heart!)
clean water to drink
healthy food to eat
a safe and warm house
even a Golden to warm my feet as I type this.

All four of us crunch in the leaves as the sun sets in a blazing autumn sky.

This is just all so, so much better than I could ever deserve.

May I worship God rightly this day.
May the world see Jesus!
For any beauty here is but a reflection of Beauty that will One Day be made Perfect in Christ.
All of God’s promises are YES! in Christ.

Amen and Amen.

May we pray for our brethren around the world who suffer because they bear the name of Christ!
Enjoy our blessings without making idols out of them.
Be content, cheerful, grateful, prayerful, hopeful–regardless of our circumstance.

Amen and Amen.

Yours,
Tara B.

So ...

What does it mean when your personality type is shared by only .5% (!!) of the female population?!?

Yup. I’m (apparently), an “INTJ.”

Hmmmmmmmmmm ... what about you? Take This Test and Find Out!

(HT Christina Scheller!)
(& HT Nikki too!)

How grateful I am that my mother-in-law, Chris, came to help out during my week away serving on the church conflict intervention team.

Not only did she bless Sophia with lots and lots of FUN and CUDDLES and MEMORIES together ...





... but she also did SO MUCH around the house to take care of Fred & Sophie with great care and great love. (And all of this on her own dime! She wouldn’t even let us help with her airfare. Wow! Such generosity.)

Thanks, Chris, for taking care of the house so well (it was great to come home to such a clean home–even if I then proceeded to trash it with my boxes & suitcases & files & STUFF!); and for cooking such yummy and healthy meals for Fred & Sophie; and for running to church & violin & ballet & everywhere too!

I bet you needed a vacation after THIS “vacation”!

We truly appreciate all you did for us, Chris.

Thank God for mothers-in-law!

And Happy Thursday to all–
(I can almost see my dining room table. Almost. Not quite.)

Love,
Tara B.

So ... remember how I said I don’t REALLY have “piles” in my life because, well, I’m just too (organized? OCD? in love with office supplies?) ...

WELL! Take a gander ...





Piles! Piles! Everywhere!

And here is growth in grace ...

I’m doing my best.
Taking one thing at a time.

Enjoyed a GREAT day at co-op yesterday. Oh! Those children are precious.

And then the girls and I walked to ballet class on a glorious fall afternoon–oh! The leaves & colors!



Violin was fun this morning ... and now I’m (slowly!) tackling piles and trying to unearth our dining room table while Sophia makes cards and does more mosaics (even in a messy, pile-filled schoolroom!) ...



Grace abounds!

Hope you are well–

Love,
Tara B.

Made it home yesterday (with only a few air-travel “challenges” ... one of which routed me through Chicago for like 15 minutes – which was NOT on my original itinerary ) ...

So much to share! But I must run now to get ready to teach our 3 & 4 year-olds at church (and then pick up a friend and then it’s ballet and then serving Fred as he leads our small group tonight) ...

Back into domestic diva Tara mode! My brain is going, “SCREEEEEEEEEEEECH! Change gears.” as I zoom around that mental corner back into my “real” life here at home.

Oooh–reminds me of one of my favorite and OLDEST blog posts. (A Samara & Scout Classic. Hope you’ll check it out.)

OK–running running. But I’ve enjoyed this sweet start to my day with a Golden Retriever on top of my blanket on top of my feet keeping me warm as I type ...

Grace abounds.

Love to all,
Tara B.

I slept last night. Oh, oh, oh ... blessed rest. How grateful I am to God!

When I woke up and the room was dark and my heart started praying and my mind started processing, I gingerly reached over to my travel alarm clock ...wondering if it was 2:00AM like usual this week ... but nope! 7AM! And entire night’s sleep for the first time since I left Montana ten days ago.

I feel like a new woman and I am so looking forward to worship in a few hours.

"The best day of the week!" Sophie calls the Sabbath.

Me too.

We still have some responsibilities today–but, Lord willing, I’ll be home with my family by tomorrow afternoon.

Back to normal blogging (hopefully!) soon–
Thanks again for your patience, encouragement, and prayers.

With love,
Tara B.

A good day. Many reasons (as always) to give thanks to God.

10:30PM. Just back to the room and the alarm is set for 6:00AM–so I must run.

Thank you for praying!

Love love love,
Tara B.

Because of Judy’s and my book, “Peacemaking Women,” I am often asked the question:

"How are men and women DIFFERENT when it relates to biblical peacemaking/living out the gospel in our relationships?"

Well ... CCEF’s e-newsletter today contained a link to a great article by David Powlison that discusses some of the biblical similarities and distinctives regarding men and women specifically related to biblical counseling ... but isn’t that topic “close enough” (THE SAME??) as biblical peacemaking because it’s all just living out the gospel?

I really think so and I hope you agree so that you’ll pop on over and check it out.

And while you do that–why not consider buying some of their resources and/or their AMAZING (biblical, Christ-centered, practical, scholarly but readable for those of us lay/sheep too) Journal of Biblical Counseling (in a searchable/indexed CD format) ... or even, hey! What an idea ... PRAYING for these men and women and DONATING to them too? (You know ... I’m like 99.99% sure I’ve never asked anything like that on this blog before ... but I stand by it. Why not pray and give today?)

OK ... back to work. Much work.

God bless you!
And thanks for the fun comments re: our family’s “4 seconds of fame.”

Yours,
Tara B.

PS
Their copyright language is really, really tight so I’m HOPING it’s OK if I tempt you with just a few teasers from Dr. Powlison’s article ... (If not, and if some CCEF guy or gal is reading this and is upset, PLEASE let me know and I’ll take these teasers right down!)

- “The God who made us male and female manages to avoid both masculinist and feminist extremes.”

- “Most of what women and men deal with is generically the same. Both male and female sin in the same basic ways. Complaining, worry, resentment, unbelief, and self-righteousness are genderblind. And both male and female suffer life’s pains and hardships. So Christ’s mercies come to both. Faith works through love in both. Both sexes apply psalms, most proverbs, the Sermon on the Mount, John, and most of Ephesians 4-6 in the same ways.”

-"Often idiosyncratic differences between individuals have more cash value than supposed gender differences. Some men come from Venus and some women from Mars. Some women are natural initiators, while some men are instinctive responders. Some men are nurturers and some women are achievers. Some women love to balance the checkbook and watch sports on TV; some men love to cook and to talk with friends over coffee. Some men weep at sad movies; some women pack firearms. And vice versa, of course. The bell curves of gender traits might slide a little one way, or the other, but generalizations don’t work as absolutes."

- “Even problems supposed to be typically male or typically female aren’t set in stone. Troubles with body image, depression, and being abused were once distinctively female. But disorderly eating, obsession with physical appearance, pervading hopelessness, and the experience of violation are increasingly male. On the other side, pornography, aggressive lewdness, violent behavior, and foul language were once characteristically male evils. They are increasingly female.”

-"So what makes this our women’s issue? Though the most significant things about people are universal, your sex and gender (biology’s female/male and culture’s feminine/masculine) always give things a particular spin, a slant. Something of that different feel is what I hope these articles communicate. When what’s deeply the same comes from a woman’s sensibility, it’s just a bit different. A significant bit. This is analogous to the issues raised in any cross-cultural or cross-situational ministry."

- “So, women are different from men, and vive la différence! Yet, no temptation has overtaken you that is not common to all, and we all grow up into the image of Jesus.”

Amen, Dr. Powlison!

And thanks and love to all of the men and women of the Christian Counseling & Education Foundation for your God-centered, biblically-faithful, practically-helpful ministry that points us to Christ. – tkb

Our family’s four seconds of fame:



Hope you enjoy!



Love,
t

OK ... seriously? I truly believe that this particular work I’m doing right now (serving on a peacemaker team, striving to help an entire church) is some of the BEST work I could ever have the privilege of doing ... but is also the SECOND HARDEST work I have ever (EVER!) done in my life. (Second only to parenting.)

So please know that we are working HARD and we take our work very, very seriously.

HOWEVER ... in the 50 minutes we had free over the dinner hour tonight, I also LAUGHED so hard that my sides literally HURT.

This is probably MOST do to the fact that one of the members of the team is one of my favorite people in the world–a man I consider a spiritual father to me AND who has been one of Fred’s and my dearest friends EVER–"Captain Dave."

(If you’ve ever heard me teach in any context, I’m sure you’ve heard me refer to him and how he & his wife have ministered to us over the years.)

But it also might have something to do with the fact that Dave had just told us about some hilarious SPOOF of The Four G’s that someone had sent him. (With all of these anti-peacemaking G’s like: “Get outta there!” and “Give it to him!” or some such things. I found it hysterical.)

ANYWAY ... laughing is GOOD. (Especially when you’ve been crying a lot and involved in some very intense conversations day after day.)

And that’s why I’m posting THIS video (with a big HT to SoloFemininity.com!):

Everything a Mom Says in 24 Hours Condensed to 2 Minutes and 55 Seconds AND Set to the William Tell Overture

I laughed out loud and even clapped at the end (it gets better and better as it goes on).

Hope you enjoy!

Yours,
Tara B.

Wow. What a post on humility and grace over at brittle crazy glass.

Please do take 30 seconds and read this post. You won’t regret it.

(Oh! But if I had HALF ... no, one TENTH that man’s maturity, God-centered focus, eternal perspective, humility and grace when I faced big disappointments in MY life??? Well ... I would have avoided a LOT of sin and been a much sweeter aroma for our Lord & Savior, Jesus Christ. Thank God for forgiveness and for growth in grace!)

Hope you’re all doing well–

I’m physically exhausted but oh-so-grateful to be where I am! What a privilege–what a joy. (Truly a JOY! I really love being here with these people. What an honor.)

Love to all,
Tara B.

(Another re-do of a previous blog. Fever’s down! AND a meeting that we thought might go past midnight did NOT ... so I’m home at 11:30 and after I post this, I’m washing up and heading right to sleep. Hooray!!)

(But I still don’t feel a wave of energy sufficient to crank out a real posting–hope you understand!)

Here’s my link: But if I forgive them ...

And a few lines to tempt you to click on over if you are so inclined:

"Tonight Fred and I were talking (again) about my struggle to forgive some people who have hurt me.

At one point during the conversation, I asked him, “But if I forgive them, then won’t I be giving up the one thing I have on them?” “What do you mean?” Fred asked. "Well, I can’t hurt them like they’ve hurt me or restore what was taken from me (I don’t have the power, resources, or authority to do so). I can’t make them understand the depth of suffering they’ve caused me and cause them to grow in compassion and love. I can’t force them to change or grow or help me during my times of desperate need.

The one thing I have on them is this ... I can withhold myself from them." That’s it – that’s my ace in the hole, my one card to play.

So I continued, “And if I truly forgive them and allow them to enter into my life and heart again ... allow myself to have real relationship with them ... pray for God’s blessings on them ... then what do I have?”

And Fred, my wise, compassionate, gracious, loving husband (whose birthday is today!) replied ..."

OOOOOOOOH! Can you believe I left you hanging like THAT? I must be punchy in my exhaustion.

!!

But I hope even that old post will be a blessing to you.

Thank you for your prayers and encouragement!

God is so good.

Love you bunches,
Tara B.

Almost midnight ... still entering data but I just got this link from my darling hubby and I’m totally smiling.

(If you watch the video, scroll down to question 18–that' MY FRED!!)

OK–back to work.

Love ya,
t

11:00PM ... triple-digit fever (blech!) ... just finished webcamming with Fred & the muffin-tater ...

(OH I LOVE THEM!!! Thank You, God, for Fred & Sophia AND for webcams & a high-speed Wi-Fi. )

... much to do still tonight and team meeting again at 6:45AM ...

SO, may I please just link to an old post? (An oldie but hopefully a goodie.)

We must learn to take ourselves in hand!

Here is just a snippet to tempt you:

"Most of our unhappiness in life is due to the fact that we are listening to ourselves instead of talking to ourselves. Grace calls us to DO something regarding our situation, our temperament, our struggles. To run to Christ, lay hold of Christ with saving faith, and to SPEAK TRUTH, biblical truth, to the lies and thoughts and struggles that rattle around inside of us.

You wake up in the morning and the first thought you have is of your FAILURES?! The problems of yesterday? Your horrible inadequacies? The drag that your life has become?

Someone is talking. Who is talking to you? Your self is talking to you.

RESIST! RESPOND! Rather than allow this self to talk to you, YOU start talking to YOURSELF. “Why art thou cast down, O my soul?” he asks. Your soul has been depressing you? Crushing you? So you stand up and say, “SELF! Listen for a moment! I will speak to you.”

Because the main art in the matter of spiritual living is to know how to handle yourself ..."

Hope you’ll check it out and maybe be encouraged, even just a smidgen.

OK. Back to data & spreadsheets & thanking God for the privilege of being with these dear brothers and sisters in Christ. (What a joy! What a privilege!)

Love you bunches,
Tara B.

PS
Thank you thank you THANK YOU for the prayers and encouragement! I appreciate you all so much and (hope you understand) I’m totally just letting emails pile up in my Inbox. Hope to be able to respond soon–Love, t

What a wonderful sermon we heard tonight from Pastor Selle! He preached on “Unity Not Division” and used Philippians 1:27-2:11 as his text.

I took four pages of notes–but it’s 10:20PM (and I’m just now getting back to my hotel room) AND our team meets tomorrow at 6:45AM (that’s 4:45 for my poor ol' Mountain Time Zone body if anyone is keeping track ) ... so I have to keep this brief ...

But I wanted to mention just a few things from his message:

- If you look at this passage, you’ll see four solid foundation stones that are all preceded by “in CHRIST” ... and this four-fold appeal leads to a four-fold result. (I’d type out all four appeals and four results–but why not grab your Bible and check 'em out for yourself!?!) I had never seen that relation before.

- When he talked about “tenderness and compassion,” Pastor Selle put up a slide of a photo of him holding his firstborn child. OH MY STARS. What an sweet reminder and reflection of our Heavenly Father’s love! I cried.

- One example he used was the picture of men in a WAR ... having trained together, suffered together, now they’re in the battle ... bullets are flying, their comrades are being cut down all around them by the enemy, they are fighting for their lives, their cause, each other ... and in the MIDDLE of THAT scene, they get into an argument over CARS. ("Hondas are the BEST!" “I don’t know–I love my FORD.” "You don’t know what you’re talking about ... I only drive TOYOTAS." etc. etc.) How ludicrous! Ridiculous! But then he exhorted us that, as Believers in Christ, in comparison to all we share in CHRIST ... many arguments that we have are on that same level. (I gasped because, OF COURSE, I saw myself in his example. How right he is!)

- He reminded us that the TRUTH is that we ARE united in Christ. It’s a fact. (Sophie and I would say a “fait accompli!”) ... but now, as we grow in grace, and as the gospel becomes the very AIR WE BREATHE around us ... we grow to WALK united in Christ. (Did you get that? We already ARE united in Christ. Now we are growing to WALK united in Christ. Isn’t that TOTALLY the “already but not yet” of the gospel that we’re always talking about around here?!?)

- This passage (in Philippians) has NO VERBS in talking about humility and vainglory. So you could translate it: “NO SELFISH AMBITION!” "NO VAIN CONCEIT!" ... so strong is the statement.

- One real-life story he gave had to do with a father and adult son, both members of the same church, both USHERS in the same church, who had a falling out AND DIDN’T SPEAK FOR THREE YEARS. Picture it! “Welcome to our church. Please sit here. Do you need a bulletin?” In two different aisles. Not acknowledging each other–refusing to SPEAK to each other–AND ALL THE MEMBERS KNOWING IT. (!!) I gasped again. And I thought to myself (through my tears), “THANK GOD that if that were ME (and I knew it could be!) and I was REFUSING to be reconciled to my brother or sister in Christ THERE IS JUST NO WAY that my fellow members MORE OR LESS MY LEADERS would EVER leave me (or the other person) trapped (caught! Galatians 6!) in such sin. They would love me enough to come after me (with the crook of their staff if necessary!) to RESCUE ME.” Thank God! Thank God!

- Last point and then I must try to wind down and get a bit of sleep ... Pastor Selle also challenged us to prayerfully consider if/when there were times that we were “so right” (in our own minds at least) that we were “wrong.” (I.e., “You’re so right that you’re wrong.”) When do we give in to such graceless and faithless and LOVELESS self-centeredness that we say, “I don’t need the rest of the Body! I’m right. I don’t need you.” Oh oh oh!

So convicting!

(NOT condemning.)

Why not condemning? Because of course he reminded us over and over (and OVER) again that Christ humbled Himself and became obedient to death, even the shameful and painful death of the Cross ... FOR US. For you. For me.

Oh, that THIS message will never be dull to us!
Christ saves sinners.
This is my boast. My only, ONLY boast.

Amen?
Amen!

G'nite my friends and God bless you–

With love,
Tara B.

PS
I think this has only happened one other time for me (years ago at a retreat in Alaska) ... I have completely and utterly LOST MY VOICE. Total laryngitis. I remember in Alaska that on Friday night I crossed out “Speaker” on my name tag and wrote “Croaker” ... and then Saturday morning I wrote “Whisperer” ... and by Saturday night, the ship and sunk and I had absolutely NOTHIN'. Well ... thank God I was OK for the seminar yesterday and two classes this morning ... but I have nothing voice-wise and the schedule is full in the week ahead. So again–I hope I’m not being too much of a pain to ask you for so much, but any prayers you could throw my way would be, as always, appreciated.

PPS
I am SO loving getting to know these brothers and sisters in Christ! WHAT an edifying time it is to spend time with them. Seriously! Won’t it be great to be together as One Body in Heaven one day? I am grateful that this life is short and eternity is so very, very long. Thanks again for your prayers! – tkb

What a joy it was to meet with the leadership of this church last night–and then to serve as one member of a team of four instructors presenting The Peacemaker Seminar today!

It has been a long time since I’ve had the joy of spending six hours on the foundational peacemaking material–and is always the case when I get to receive biblical teaching from wise Christians ... I was encouraged, convicted, challenged, and comforted by the gospel.

(As an aside ... what a privilege it is to have the freedom to gather & pray and open God’s Word–with an abundance of Bibles in the room and no fear of imprisonment or death. Such luxury. Such luxury. Most Christians in the world can’t even imagine it.)

ANYWAY ... I thought you might enjoy just a handful of the guotes I wrote down from the day:

- To dwell there above with the saints whom we love–that will be glory! To dwell here below with the saints whom we know? THAT’S another story!

- If we both agree all the time, then one of us is unnecessary.

- A moment of frustration and anger becomes a moment of MINISTRY.

- Making us holy is God’s unending agenda. (I think that’s a Tripp & Lane quote.)

- We have a great opportunity: Stop thinking about OUR agenda and start thinking about GOD’S agenda!

- Where will you be in 3 years? 15 years? 50 years? 150 years? Pray for the grace to look back on THIS CONFLICT and be able to say, “My preeminent concern was love for God and neighbor.”

- Each one of us is so much more complex than we appear on the outside.

- The last place a True Believer wants to be is outside of the Church.

Good stuff, eh?

I am a blessed woman to get to serve.

Please do pray for me if I flit through your heart tomorrow–I will teach two Sunday school classes and our week here striving to help these dear brothers and sisters in Christ will continue.

With love and thanks,
Tara B.

My notes are printed.
Bags are packed.

It’s late–but I’m going to pick up a bit and try to find a little order in our home before I take off in a few hours. (It’s a good thing that my mother-in-law is so gracious! I know she won’t mind the piles and chaos.)

Thank you for praying! My writing projects were sent in AND my teaching notes are hot off our little printer.
(And we even got to enjoy a quick family trip to the park–Lilikoi and everything! Very fun.)

May God be glorified in all we do and say–

Thanks again for all of your encouragement!

With love,
Tara B.

OK OK ... I just couldn’t ONLY ask you for help and prayers ... I wanted to give you a blessing (or a CHUCKLE) TOO!

!!

So here is one of my FAVORITE photos of my sister and me from our childhood days in the 1970’s ...



(I have always had the BEST big sister in the WORLD! I love her so much!)

And here is another 70’s photo ... this time, our entire family. My mom was quite a looker, eh? And I always thought my dad looked like Tom Selleck.



Happy Thursday!

Love,
t

Well, I just can’t thank you ENOUGH for popping over to Amazon.com and taking a few minutes to review my book, “Peacemaking Women.”

I’ll tell you why later ... but it really means a lot to me.

And SINCE you are obviously just SO wonderful ... I thought I’d start this morning with a prayer request too:

Would you please pray for me as I will be leaving in the morning for a ten-day church intervention out of state?

(A church intervention is when a team of conciliators–in this case, four, and I am the only woman–serves a church whose members are currently in conflict. We do this through a combination of data-gathering, teaching, coaching, mediations, and large (group) meetings too.)

Since you can’t mediate a group–it takes a LONG time and a LOT of effort (many, many meetings over many, many hours) to even begin to scratch the surface of serving and loving these dear brothers and sisters well.

I’m a bit concerned about it for many reasons–not because of the conflict or the substantive concerns, but simply because church/organizational intervention work is truly the most intense work I have ever done, and the time period is LONG.

Would you please pray:

- That I would teach my portion of the “Peacemaker Seminar” well. In particular, that I would hold true to how Peacemaker Ministries teaches it (NOT the way I’ve been presenting their material at women’s event for the last five years). I truly want to honor Peacemaker Ministries AND hit the key points that they need me to hit.

- That my time specifically with the women would be sweet. That God would guard my words and my attitude, overcome my “Tara-ness” (that can sometimes, you know, be a bit off-putting) and help me to connect with them quickly and lovingly. I pray that I would have just the right words to encourage them in Christ! (Particularly when I am teaching the two women’s Sunday School Classes ... but also as I serve them during coaching and mediation appointments.)

- For my darling Sophia Grace as she will, I am SURE, enjoy her week with Grandma Chris (who is coming to help out while I am gone) ... but who will, I am also sure, miss me. Just as I will miss her. You know–I have not done a church intervention case since she was born and there were a number of reasons why Fred encouraged me to accept this one. I am happy at the thought of going and just doing my best. I am resting in Fred’s leadership and wisdom – and trusting God. But ... it’s still going to be a LONG time away and I’m just so happy that once I return, we are together until the end of January!! (Hooray!)

- For my team leader, the other two men, and myself: that we will love one another and live out the gospel so winsomely with each other that the loudest message we share has no words at all! It is simply the testimony of the grace we give each other.

- For each person involved in the actual conflicts: For renewed faith in our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ! And as that faith takes root and is watered ... for repentance, confession, and FORGIVENESS ... so that LOVE might be the fruit. A strong, solid root of faith in our Risen Lord! The primary means of grace strengthening that faith (God’s Word, His Spirit, His Body) and helping each person involved to LIVE OUT WHAT THEY CLAIM TO BELIEVE. And the wonderful aroma of the fruit of genuine Christian LOVE. Pure grace. Covering over a multitude of sins. Bearing with the weaker brother. Not presuming to know another person’s heart. Having a right view of the backstage view of ourselves. Overwhelmed by the glory and mercy of God. Cheering each other on as we press on to know Him Who is our salvation.

This is my prayer and I would be honored if any of you would join with me to pray as well.

Oh–and since (for the next eleven days) my appointments start at 6:45AM and don’t end until 10:00PM (and then we have team meetings to prep for the next day) ... I REALLY doubt that I’ll have much time to blog in the next week or so. Maybe?! But I’m guessing not.

So if I don’t, I’ll try to look through the archives for some “oldies but hopefully goodies” and post them so you have something to ponder until I return.

Thanks, all!
I think I have the sweetest, most God-centered blog readership around.
'Course I’m totally biased because you bless my socks off.

Happy Thursday–

Your friend,
Tara B.

PS
One last prayer request ... I have four writing projects that I really need to get done today because they are due before I get back from this intervention. Would you please pray that I would be diligent and just crank them out?!? I was hoping to get them done yesterday so that I could possibly just relax with Fred and Soph again this afternoon ... but it will take a miracle for me to crank them out. Will you please pray? Thanks again. – tkb

OK–I know it’s a silly little thing ... but I am REALLY wishing that even just two or three of you would take FIVE minutes and pop on over to Amazon.com and review my book, “Peacemaking Women.”

We’ve been holding at only 21 reviews for a LONG time now ...
And if any of you think our little tome is, well, fairly decent or even OK, it would be GREAT to have your comments in the review section.

I’d be happy to BRIBE you if there is some peacemaking resource you’d like that I have! Please just email me and let me know.

(Oh–but of course I don’t mean bribe you for a “good review” ... whatever your honest review, I’d just bribe you for your time. )

OK. Back to work!

Love ya,
Tara B.

Wisdom, wisdom, wisdom! Grace, grace, grace! Man–I love meeting with four other women once a week for friendship and prayer.

We just have to be INTENTIONAL if we’re going to have real relationships, don’t you think?

(Intimate–"real"–sharing just does NOT happen in a 30 second drive-by conversation before or after church or even a five minute one once a year at a church luncheon or function.)

Of course–I’m saying this four hours after I literally turned my alarm off with a HUFF (at 5:30AM) when I was awake and EXHAUSTED and I thought, “There is NO WAY I am going to group this morning. Forget THIS!” And I rolled over to go back to sleep–only to be awake at 6:10AM (the time my alarm was GOING to go off), convicted, and–yes! it’s a miracle!–obedient to get up and go.

(I felt the same way when it was time to go to small group last night. “Yeah-yeah-covenantal relationships and unity and love and one Body and one family and all that. Sounds GREAT until I actually have to pack up my family and leave the house and actually BE in relationships.” The truth is that I’d rather stay home. But then ... I’m always so blessed when we are faithful to go. SO blessed.)

Just as I am always amazed that I have the joy of getting to know these women!

Given the impending violin lesson and my true need for a shower after getting back from the gym ("Mommy! You’re ODIFEROUS!" Sophie gently shared.) ... I couldn’t possibly share all of the wonder of all they shared this morning. But one point has stuck with me and I even mentioned it to Fred (we BlueTooth/Verizon his ten minute drive to and from work each day), so I thought you guys might agree too.

Would you agree that sometimes–especially as WOMEN–we are so encouraged and blessed (and we feel LOVED) when we know that people–especially MEN–in our lives are at least THINKING of us? Concerned about us? Maybe trying to figure out how to help us–but not really sure what “the answer” or “the plan” is? But that we’re on their radar screen and they care?

But isn’t it also true that sometimes people–especially MEN–are reticent to engage with us if they’re UNSURE or UNCLEAR as to how BEST to do so?

Fred and I agreed together that it’s a good reminder to just keep COMMUNICATING and especially letting people know when we love them, but we just don’t know what to say or do. But we’re TRYING and we CARE.

Anyway–lots to think about. But also lots to do.

Hope your Wednesday goes well!

Sending you love,
Tara B.

I am REALLY enjoying going through the Peacemaker Small Group Study each Tuesday night.

Ken’s teaching is FANTASTIC! Absolutely the opposite of my (probably TOO extemporaneous!) off-the-cuff teaching style ... he is the consummate lawyer AND engineer (ordered, careful, logical, no wasted words, doesn’t miss a point) ... but he has grace & charm & humility too.

The videos are short and the study guides lend themselves to “real” conversation afterwards.
Really–they are just great! I hope you’ll check them out.

Last night I was particularly struck by how the new edition of The Peacemaker adds in a level to the progression of an idol. (I’m thinking I should alter my teaching notes to add it in.)

Can you spot the addition?

1. A desire ("I want ...") is elevated to

2. A demand ("I will have ..."). The demand puts

3. Expectations on others ("Therefore, you’d better ..."). The expectations are not met, and so we

4. Sinfully judge others ("I would NEVER do that!" “How COULD she?!” "He INTENTIONALLY meant to hurt me ..."). We condemn people in our hearts and with our words and then we

5. Punish them. We sacrifice people on the altar of our idols.

Ooooooh. We were all cringing a bit (a lot!) last night as we saw our hearts.

BUT ... we were also REJOICING together because God has made a way for us to be rescued from ourselves! He has given us a way out and He gives us a way out every moment of every day ... through Jesus Christ, we can be forgiven.

"If You, O Lord, kept a record of sins, who could stand? But with You there is forgiveness!" Psalm 130:3-4

Amen & Amen!
Thank You, God, for sending Jesus to live the life we could never live.
To die the shameful and painful death WE deserve.

We love You, Lord!

Your grateful sheep,
Tara B.

OK ... only because you asked for them ... here are some of the photos from when Fred & I met and fell in love and got married.

(Yes, yes, it was the early 90’s, but apparently my hair was still in the 80’s. Fred’s friend used to MARVEL at my big hair and say, “Your crown in your glory, Tara.” Hah hah hah and hi Mark & Eunyi! Love you guys!)

Your friend,
Tara B.

Our VERY first picture ever taken together ... at the “Y" (the ”Young Christian Men’s Apartment"–the apartment Fred shared with three of his grad school buddies and TOTALLY the place where I fell in love with him). We all spent a LOT of late nights up talking and laughing and eating pizza while we avoided studying for law school exams (me) and thesis writing (Fred).



From “Will you be my girl?” to “Will you marry me?” in thirteen glorious months. Ahhhhhh–Fred proposes! (I answered, “Yes! Yes! Of course! Yes!”)



Wedding wedding wedding ... thanks again, Meka & Chris & everyone who so lavishly gave of themselves to bless us. What a day! What a wonderful day.

Sophia came downstairs this morning dressed as a bride ...



So, of course, I showed Sophie our wedding album AND dug out this old box of STUFF from when my creative artist friends (and my amazing-can-sew-anything-made-my-wedding-gown-AND-the-outfits-for-our-bridesmaids-AND-the-bowties-for-the-men mother in law) decorated and made beautiful things for our wedding ...



Inside of the box were some leftover silk flowers and ribbons that my friends used to decorate. Sophia asked if she could have the “wedding flowers” for her bride’s bouquet ... so I tried to figure out a way to hold them all together. Of course, the BEST WAY I could think of was what these friends used TWELVE YEARS AGO at our wedding ...



(Yes, yes. Absolutely 100% UNUSED for twelve years. Still in the SAME BOX as the wedding stuff!)

So I thought ... why not? Surely I can figure this thing out! The women who have heard me teach won’t gasp TOO MUCH will they?

And I plugged it in and after some finagling ... sure enough ... GLUE!
(Can you believe it?! I did it!! A glue gun!!! Some of you won’t understand the amazingly huge importance of this ... but some of you WILL. )

Glue gun & flowers.
For my beloved, precious, astoundingly delightful little lovie-bear, muffin-tater-tot ...
Princess dress-up-bride.



Ahhhhhhhhh – what a life.

Hope you’re all doing well.

Sending you love–
Mama Bear Tara