considerable grace

My sister blessed me (yet again!) with a haircut in a groovy northside Chicago salon ...
And after a LONG time waiting for a cab (cabs are VERY hard to get in the snow!!), I totally knew that I could walk back to my sister’s home NO PROB.

So I bundled up and headed out the door. It was GREAT.

Three miles of Chicago urban delight.
If Samara or Fred had been with me, I would’ve popped into some tiny little tavern for a warm-me-up-toddy. (I don’t even know what a toddy IS!)

But instead, I just walked.
WAY faster than the pace of cars inching, inching, inching their way in the snow.

TOTALLY not cold ... it was SNOWY, but not cold.
Very, very happy.

It reminded me of my childhood–many of our childhood homes were in the Midwest and there was a LOT of snow in the 70’s and 80’s.

It was great.

I hope that you are all tucked in toasty-oasty warm ... safe and sound.

I’m going to wash up! And warm up! And head to bed.
Currently scheduled for a Saturday AM departure (yes, yes, all of the flights I COULD have been on this afternoon have been canceled, so it appears that we made the right call).

Happy Thursday night to you!

Yours,
Tara B.

Almost made it home today!! But Chicago is supposed to get 11 inches of snow in the next twelve hours ... so ... NOPE. Flights are being canceled and I am prepping for another day serving (and enjoying!) my family here in the wonderful windy city.

Hope you are all doing well!

Sending you my love–

Yours,
t

HT: 9MarksBlog for directing me to this great post (and book recommendation):

Carefulness in Treating Sin

The author of the blog is a MBB who pastors a church in the Grand Cayman Islands. Definitely worth the read–and I’m thinking I’d like to pop on over to WTS and order the book too.

My husband was already burning the candle at both ends and melting it in the middle BEFORE our little family emergency took me away for a week.

We’ve been getting through it OK (all in all), but we’ve had our moments when the HEAT has brought out our HEARTS that are clearly in need of further sanctification.

Tonight, though? I saw again just how gracious and godly my steady Freddy husband truly is ...

We were webcamming over their dinner (with occasional pauses for some ballet dancing by Sophia ) when Fred started clearing dishes and suddenly OH NO! Something went SEVERELY wrong with our kitchen sink.

- Yes, we do live in an old house and we’ve had our share of plumbing problems in the recent past.

- And yes, it IS (no exaggeration!) thirty degrees below zero with the windchill–and the kitchen sink does face an exposed wall of the house so freezing pipes have been a concern this week.

- But seriously? On top of everything else? A plumbing catastrophe?!?

Here was Fred’s response: "Sometimes life is complicated."

Yes, yes. Well said, Fred.

No use freaking out. Doesn’t really help.
Sometimes life is complicated.

Judy Dabler has been sending me email love and support and counsel and encouragement this week and earlier tonight she emailed me this:

"Feel it, describe it, name it, explain it, grieve it, and let it go. That is my new formula for dealing with trauma."

Yes, yes. Doubly-well-said, Judy!

Hope you enjoy a plumbing mishap and trauma-free day–

Yours,
Tara B.

Some of you long-time readers may have noticed that I’ve been posting more links and less “personal” blogs lately. I just wanted to give you all a little explanation as to why ...

After I finished serving at the women’s conference in Chicago this past weekend, I stayed on in Illinois to help a family member who is going through a bit of a medical emergency.

It is an honor to serve and I’m so glad to be here helping. But we’re headed toward day seven of being away from Fred, Sophia, and Lilikoi ... and of course, these situations are always stressful because people we care about are in need. (Plus, Fred is having to do his two jobs AND all of the domestic duties at home too–ably helped with childcare needs by our dear friend Sarah!!–so I feel the weight of that too.)

Anyway ... I don’t have a timeline yet on when I might be getting to go home. And the days are full and exhausting. So I’m trying to post things that might be encouraging and edifying to you all ... but I haven’t had much free time to do anything else.

Hope you understand! And, of course, thanks in advance for your prayers.

Sending you love–
Tara B.

PS
Being away from home for this length of time just makes me OH SO GRATEFUL for webcams!! If you have grandchildren or family or friends that are far away, I REALLY encourage you to webcam with them. Even like this morning ... I had been up until 2:30AM and Fred & Soph were busy busy getting through the morning routine ... but Fred just put his laptop on the kitchen table and I “forced myself” (even though exhausted) to get up so that I’d overlap with them. And I could just hang out and have breakfast and talk and laugh with them. Soph showed me drawings she had done yesterday. Lili popped her nose over the table when she heard my voice. It was great.

Just wanted to mention how cool webcams are when you’re missing people. Happy Tuesday! Love–t

Wow! Carolyn McCulley has started a new series over at Radical Womanhood ("because being a biblical woman in a modern world is a radical act"):

Practical Issues for Godly Women

Today’s installment was on elder care (I was JUST talking about that very topic a few nights ago!) and yesterday’s was on "Is Homemaking the Only Priority" (a topic I’m asked about ALL the time of course).

Don’t miss it this series!

(And thanks, Carolyn, for pointing us all to Christ and helping us to remember (and live out!) the gospel in our daily lives!)

I don’t know why, but a number of people asked me this past weekend about the baby we lost in 2007.

Their questions weren’t inappropriate or insensitive ... I was just surprised at how many times I was talking about him or her. (We never did know the baby’s gender even though we were just heading into the second trimester.)

And, of course, thinking about the baby did make me sad. It should make me sad. Miscarriages are most definitely “not the way it’s supposed to be!” And Fred, Sophia, and I do miss that little baby.

Anyway ... I was poking around New Attitude’s archives and I found this great article on comforting the suffering. I encourage you to check it out:

With Those Who Weep

Here are just a few of my favorite lines from the artcile to (hopefully) entice you to click on through:

- “Understand that asking, “How are you doing?” is one of the most difficult questions for a sufferer to answer.”

- “Let them initiate the doctrinal questions ... Especially when it comes to God’s sovereignty – let them bring this up. It can seem uncaring to a friend to bring up God’s sovereignty in the midst of suffering—as if a broad acknowledgement of God’s sovereignty will stop the grieving.”

- “In the midst of suffering, expressions of practical care are many times more meaningful than weighty doctrinal conversations. Making dinner, going to a movie, offering a small gift, or even something like playing basketball can be far more comforting than an exposition of Romans 8:28.”

- “Don’t ignore them or the death. Let’s be honest. Many of us don’t have a clue how to care for people that are suffering. So many times we ignore it because we think that not saying anything at all is better than saying something stupid. I understand this way of thinking but this can often make them feel as if they are bearing the burden alone or make them feel distant in your relationship. Rather, ask them things like, “How did __ life impact you?” or “What are some of your favorite memories of ___?” Or simply acknowledge that you don’t know how to best care for them and simply ask them what would best.”

I think Pastor Smith is spot-on in his article ... especially that point about NOT pulling back just because we don’t know what to say.

It makes US uncomfortable to reach out to someone in crisis or someone who is facing a horrible loss ... but oh! Let us NOT focus on OUR comfort but instead, let us love!

(Many a time I say something like this, “I have NO idea what to say. I don’t. But I do so want you to know that I care! I am hurting with you and for you. I am so sorry for this suffering in your life.”)

Hope Pastor Smith’s article is a blessing to you!
(This life really is nothing but a constant death.)

With hope,
Tara B.

PS
You may recall that the husband of my dear friend, Samara, is an extraordinarily gifted artist. His art shows in galleries all over the place ... but every once in awhile he also puts SMALLER pieces up for sale on ebay. Well ... check out the one I snatched as a gift for my sister and “her fred” (they LOVE cemeteries–they are big history buffs):



Taylor (the artist) wrote on the little ebay “description/tag line”: "I, for one, can’t WAIT to get out of here!"

Amen, brother. Me too.
Maranatha! Come quickly, Lord Jesus.

I found this old article (from March 2007) and thought it might bless you too.

Hope your week is off to a great start! I am happily working hard at my sister’s home (and missing Fred and Sophie terribly).

Joy to you!
– Tara B.

An Idiot’s Guide to Correction
From the Blog New Attitude
http://www.newattitude.org

Posted by Eric Simmons, regular contributor

This is the situation: Your friend seems angry.

You wonder if they’re really angry or if you’re misreading them.

Should you say something to them? You have that internal dialogue of “No, it’s not a big deal.” “Maybe I’m just judging them.” “I feel like I should really say something.”

In these moments, what do you do? How do you share something that could be corrective? And how do you do it graciously?

Just so we’re on the same page, in a previous post we defined correction like this. Correction is when someone shares a thought or question related to a statement, action, or attitude that was potentially sinful, unhelpful or unwise.

Galatians 6:1-2 says “Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”

I love these verses. Your friend is caught. You have the ability to help. When you do help, do it gently. You are helping to restore them to a vibrant walk with God. And watch out, don’t get proud as though you do not have the potential to sin in similar ways—watch yourself that you don’t get tempted as well.

Then there is a great command: Carry each others burdens. We have a command from God to carry each others burdens. Which means, at times, that we bear burdens by sharing correction.

How do we do this? If a friend is caught in a sin, we do everything we can to gently restore. In other words, we gently correct. Did you know you signed up for this when you were called by Christ? Jesus has enlisted you in taking care of his people. You really are your brothers’ and sisters’ keeper. You should be correcting your friends and carrying their burdens. It’s grace to them.

So how do you gently correct? Well, I can’t say that I am an expert in this—I have made plenty of mistakes. I have learned a lot about what not to do. I have also picked up how to correct from wiser and godlier men like C.J. Mahaney, Kenneth Maresco (who has been my mentor for many years) and Bob Kauflin (who leads worship at my church).

This is some of what I have learned. If you see something you think you should share with a friend that is corrective, start by asking your own heart some questions. You may not be objective in this especially when something has been done against you personally.

These are some questions I have found helpful:

1. Am I sharing my thought with them because I am personally offended or personally irritated?

2. Am I sharing my thought with them out of self-righteous judgment? This is especially applicable to issues of preference and issues of conscience.

3.Am I sharing my thought out of impatience because I am tired of the way it affects me or others?

4. Am I coming with conclusions or questions? (Read Chapter 10 of Charity and its Fruits by Jonathan Edwards if you want to read more about this.)

If you find sin in your own heart as you answer these questions, then repent before you share any corrective thought.

[One side note: Don’t believe the lie that if you’re sinning in your heart you’re disqualified from sharing what you have to say. If you waited until you were not self-righteous, impatient, or personally offended by the other person’s sin before you correct them you’d be waiting a long time.]

Here are other questions to ask: Is the issue a pattern? And how well do you know the person?

I think it’s a general point of wisdom that we should share thoughts with people if the issue is a pattern, not just a one time thing. Now, this could be different if you are very close friends and there is a level of trust in the relationship that can handle it. I know that there are a few friends I have who I have enlisted to help me battle my sins and I have told them very clearly, “I want you to share all your thoughts about me and my marriage and my parenting.” I don’t want them to wait for patterns. But I have a deep relationship with these men and they know me, my sin patterns, and the idols of my heart very well.

Another issue of wisdom is to be careful sharing thoughts with people you don’t know. If you don’t have a friendship with the person, then it is probably not wise to share corrective thoughts with them. Trust God that they have people in their life to help them. However, when you become a member of a local church, you are committing your life to caring for and encouraging that community of believers. This means that there may be times when God calls you to correct somebody you don’t know very well. I think these instances may arise if the person’s sin is very pronounced and public.

It is so important to remind yourself of your role and God’s role before you share any corrective thought. You are not the Holy Spirit and you cannot bring conviction. That is the Holy Spirit’s role. Your role is to share something with a friend that they may not be aware of. Your role is not to convince the person of your perspective. Your role is to share your perspective, ask some questions and then follow up later after the person is able to think and pray about it. Don’t think that you have to spend hours in conversation trying to prove your perspective to the person. Just share and follow up later.

If you are sharing with a person and it’s pretty obvious that they don’t like what you are saying, it may be good to ask if the person is tempted. If they are, then pick up the conversation at another time. Be patient. And don’t share thoughts and correction in the midst of conflict. That never ends well and usually the makes the conflict worse. Share your thoughts later (especially if you are married and in a conflict with your spouse). Save it for later.

Okay, so after you have done the heart work we talked about in part 1, how do you initiate a corrective conversation with a friend? Pretty simple.

The best place to begin is to ask a question. Say something like, “Hey can I ask you a question?” Or “Hey can I share a thought with you from the last time we met?”

I know sometimes people can say something like “Can I share an observation with you?” I think this is fine to but sometimes I know that can really tempt people because it sounds like you’re coming with conclusions instead of questions. I’m not saying it’s wrong, it’s not. It all depends on how you say it and who you say it to.

Language is not a huge deal but I think you want to use language that communicates that you genuinely have questions—not that you’re coming with conclusions. This really serves the person you are talking to and I think it alleviates temptation. Remember you are serving them. So do whatever it takes to serve them.

Sometimes, in the conversation, it helps to check-in and ask, “Is anything I’m asking or saying ringing true at all?” If they say yes, then go down that road with them a bit. Don’t have an agenda in the conversation. In other words, don’t get into it thinking, “I got prove to them that what they said was selfish.” You most likely don’t know what the issue of the heart is. You need to discover it together and then help them with it.

After you have initiated the time, make sure you ask tons of questions instead of monologuing for 20 minutes about their sin. They need your questions. At the end of the conversation thank them for listening. That is grace in their life. And then if you have time just ask them if they were tempted in anyway by the conversation. Ask them if they were tempted by any words you used or any tone or body language. Tone and body language are very important. They can communicate something that you do not intend.
Especially your face.

Finally, ask them if they would like you to follow up. If they say no, then respect what they say. (And if they say yes, remember to follow up.)

I hope this helps. I have made tons of mistakes in this, but the more I try to care for my brothers and sisters and bear their burdens the more I am convinced that this is good, needed, and God glorifying. Your local churches will become stronger as you bear each others burdens.

lj - 3/12/07

I believe that I may have already posted this (in 2005?) ... but it’s been awhile, so I hope this blesses you!

Boy! This life is truly “nothing but a constant death.”

Thank God for theologian and Youth for Christ missionary, Ajith Fernando! And his wisdom that points us to Christ.

Blessed, blessed Sabbath to you all! It’s 1:20AM (Chicago-time) and I’m headed to bed. Well, soon, I hope to be headed to bed.

Love and blessings!
And enjoy–

(HT, Ajith!)

Yours,
Tara B.

PAIN DOES ITS WORK, AND GRACE TAKES OVER
Written by Ajith Fernando while traveling abroad

I left home on a trip abroad feeling very discouraged and hurt because of some problems. This is normal in the Christian life, and these are emotions I must not deny. Sorrow and pain must be permitted to do their work. They:

- deepen our commitment and mould our character, especially teaching us patience;
- lead us to confess sin and show the fruit of repentance;
- prepare us to face greater suffering;
- bring us closer to suffering humanity;
- make us more effective ministers; and
- increase our joy by causing us to depend more on God and his grace than on earthly things and ourselves.

But we cannot go on living life overwhelmed by our problems. Once discouragement and hurt have done their work we must return to the normal Christian life which I like to define as “being overwhelmed by grace.” Now, this perspective may come soon, or it may take days or weeks to return. But till it returns we must struggle with God like the psalmists did in many of their laments.

Grace must soften our hearts so that more grace can enter in, making us gracious and taking away that destructive attitude of anger that looks at life saying, “I have been wronged.” Such anger is an enemy which we must fight with utmost dedication, for it takes away the thing that makes discipleship so worthwhile: the joy of the Lord. The sorrow may remain. But the joy of the Lord can coexist with sorrow, pain and tears. It cannot coexist with bitterness. Anger also takes away our anointing for we act in the flesh and not in the Spirit. This makes even the good things we do useless from God’s perspective—wood, hay and stubble which will be burned away at the judgment (1 Cor. 3:12-15).

Grace also takes away our cynicism which looks at life with the attitude that says, “There is nothing sincere and genuine in life.” The gospel tells us that sin has affected every sphere of life, and that everything on earth is in need of redemption. But it also tells us that “where sin increased, grace abounded all the more” (Rom. 5:20). So we must replace cynicism with hope in grace and a burning ambition to apply that grace to every situation in life.

We mourn the ravages of sin, but we do so with a heart softened by grace. Jeremiah shows this heart. He thundered angrily over sin but was also known as the weeping prophet because he wept in love for the wicked and hypocritical people who rejected his message. Mourning and weeping? Yes! Cynicism? No!

The sin and hypocrisy in the church and the world are terrible. But we always reckon that grace is greater than sin. So we cannot afford to let cynicism rule us, for the last word is with God, not with sin.

On this trip I realized that I needed to retreat into God’s presence and receive his healing. One of the things which help us to return to the attitude of being overwhelmed by grace is exposure to the simple, but beautifully profound, truths of Christianity. God did that to me during my retreat through the book, Out of my Mind, by Joseph Bayly (Zondervan). He had a column by the same name in the now defunct Eternity Magazine. It was my favorite monthly reading in my early years in the ministry. Three of Bayly’s sons died aged four years, three weeks and eighteen years. Each of his other four children ended up in ministry. He was known as a prophet to our generation, but his writing oozes with the deep grace of God learned through suffering.

Bayly reminded me that, in the life made beautiful by grace, there are some things which are normal but which the world despises. We must accept these things as basic to the Christian life and not be overly upset by the more negative ones among them. Here are some of those things:

- a simple trust in Christ and an enjoyment of his love which causes us to be thrilled with life;
- sacrificial love for others including our family members;
- suffering for our principles;
- following the way of the cross even though the world sees it as going down on the status scale;
- proactively seeking to bring people to faith in Christ because that is their only hope for escaping eternal damnation and finding eternal salvation;
- accepting every disappointment and hurt as a means used by God to bless us;
- opposing wrong, however out of step we may seem with the rest of society;
- studying the challenges to Christian thinking in contemporary society and formulating responses to them so that Christians will be warned and armed to face them and non-Christians will be challenged to change their minds;
- refusing to allow the sham values of our superficial, media-dominated society to influence our values, lifestyle and methods.

These are the things I must pursue and make my goals in life. Sadly even many Christians are pursuing things that really have more to do with earthly honor than the will of God. I can assure you that earthly honor will not satisfy your soul. They think they can be satisfied through things like the following:

- status and earthly power;
- climbing to the top of the ladder in sports, in the arts, in academics or in our professions in order to prove how capable we are;
- earning money and acquiring other earthly possessions;
- revenge and overcoming and humiliating enemies; and
- proving that they are right and those who opposed them were wrong.

God made us humans with eternity in our hearts (Eccl. 3:11). We are too exalted to be satisfied with mere earthly honor. Only the joy and peace of the eternal God can truly satisfy our souls. John Wesley said, “O what a pearl of what great a price is the lowest degree of the peace of God.” It is a treasure so valuable that it is worthwhile sacrificing everything in order to obtain it.

Let’s “have done with lesser things” and let our lives be consumed by the pursuit of God, of his wonderfully loving nearness, of his joy and peace, and of his service. And, so that we will not be sidetracked and deceived by the powerful forces at work in this world, may we feed ourselves daily with the truths of God which challenge the sin, hypocrisy, cynicism and anger of this age.

If you (like me) think that you get credit just for owning books–
And if you (like me) keep buying books because you love 'em!
And if you have, say, five or six books going at any given time ...

You’ll enjoy this post from Pastor JollyBlogger!

Happy Sunday, all!
(And Hi Chicago! It sure was great to be with you.)

Much love,
Tara B.

I’ve mentioned the Kids' “First Catechism” a lot and I just wanted to post a link so that you can find it easily:



Just click on: First Catechism and then search for “First Catechism” and it’ll come right up.

We LOVE doing the catechism with Sophia. Please let me know if you start catechizing your kids and how you like it!

Happy Saturday!
– Tara B.

A sweet post over at Tim Challies is worth the read.

Hope you enjoy!

(I had 30 minutes in between sessions and just wanted to say hey.)

Blessings and love,
Tara B.

Yesterday I promised to post a few notes from the AMAZING issue of CCEF’s Summer 2007 Journal of Biblical Counseling.

I could write many words about every single article, but instead I’ll just start with the editor’s article, The Therapeutic Gospel (by Dr. David Powlison).

Truly. You should read this article! It’s amazing.

Dr. Powlison starts out be quoting the scene in Dostoevsky’s The Brothers Karamazov (yet another classic that I REALLY need to just SLOW DOWN and FINISH one of these days) when (fictionally!) Jesus returns to sixteenth century Spain and the “church authorities” decide to meet the “felt needs” of the people rather than “calling forth the high, holy, and difficult freedom of faith working through love” that Jesus teaches and lives. (The authorities tell Jesus, “We have corrected Your work.”)

This is the therapeutic gospel. And it’s not just in a scene from a Russian novel! It is SO often how “the gospel” is preached, taught, and presented.

- “It centers exclusively around the welfare of man and temporal happiness. It discards the glory of God in Christ.”

- It “does not call for any fundamental change or direction in the human heart.”

- The therapeutic gospel “bypasses the sinful human heart. You are not the agent of your deepest problems, but merely a sufferer and victim of unmet needs. The offer of a cure skips over the sin-bearing Savior. Repentance from unbelief, willfulness, and wickedness is not the issue.” (emphasis added)

- This “gospel” may often use the name of Jesus, “but He has morphed into the meeter-of-your-needs, not the Savior from your sins.”

Dr. Powlison then goes on to remind us in page after page of Scripture and his brilliantly-worded text of the REAL Gospel.

Because of Christ and His true gospel, "my instinctual cravings are replaced by the growing awareness of true, life-and-death needs:

- I need mercy above all else.

- I want to learn wisdom, and unlearn willful self-preoccupation.

- I need to learn to love both God and neighbor.

- I long for God’s name to be honored, for His kingdom to come, for His will to be done on earth.

- I need God to change me.

- I want Him to deliver me from my obsessive self-righteousness, to slay my lust for self-vindication, so that I feel my need for the mercies of Christ, so that I learn to treat others gently.

- I want to learn to endure hardship and suffering in hope, having my faith simplified, deepened, and purified.

- I need to learn, to listen, to worship, to delight, to trust, to give thanks, to cry out, to take refuge, to obey, to serve, to hope.

- I want the resurrection to eternal life.

- I need God Himself!"

Amen & Amen!

And thank God for David Powlison and CCEF.

“Maranatha! Come quickly, Lord Jesus!”

Blessed Friday to you–

Your friend,
Tara B.

Hi from Chicago! I’m happily ensconced in the FRIGID Illinois winter and looking very forward to serving at my Chicago event starting tomorrow night.

But first I wanted to say a HELLO to any women from Indiana who might be reading this! Also ... I’m wondering if any of you Hoosiers would like to clue me in as to why you’re visiting??? (I know there’s SOME sort of Indiana connection because I’ve had like FIVE orders from my website today–all from Indiana–and honestly? That’s WAY more orders than I usually have in a MONTH. So I’m curious. )

Also ... re: the previous post on the J.I. Packer book ... I really can’t articulate his arguments or answer the questions in the comments because I haven’t read it! I just found the review provocative and interesting and thought you might too. Made me go, “Hmmmmmmmmmm .........”

(Isn’t that a thoughtful, intellectual response? Double “Hmmmmmmmmm ...” I should probably bop on over to WTS or Amazon and order it before I go blithely posting blogs that refers to books, eh?)

Hope you’re all doing well and staying WARM! It was MINUS 25 DEGREES when we touched down in MSP this morning!! Eek!

Yours cozily,
Tara B.

At the last moment this morning, as I was leaving for the airport at around 4:45AM, I grabbed two items for potential “airplane reading” and boy! Am I glad I did.

I was SO blessed on both of my flights as I read our denominational Christian Education & Publications magazine, Equip for Ministry, and as I re-read last summer’s Journal of Biblical Counseling from the The Christian Counseling and Educational Foundation.

I only have a moment to write now, so I’ll save the CCEF nuggets for a later post ... but I wanted to share a few excerpts from one of the CE&P articles on the doctrine of the Church. The article cited three of five reasons that J.I. Packer gives in his book, Ancient and Postmodern Christianity, for the stuntedness of the Church in modern-day.

Here are quick summaries of two of the reasons:

1. The church is too centered on salvation. (This has led to a human-centered theologizing which sets human needs center stage and makes the Trinity’s role simply one of saving individuals. He says “church life is thought out and set forth in terms of furthering people’s salvation rather than on worshiping and glorifying God.”)

2. The parachurch-centeredness is virtually an evangelical trademark. ("Sadly, these agencies of God’s kingdom draw interest, prayer, enthusiasm, and money away from the wider-ranging, slower-moving, less glamorous realities of congregational life, so that the parachurch body comes to have pride of place in supporters' affections and in effect to be their church.")

Doesn’t the first one stop you in your tracks? At first I thought, “Huh?! How could the Church be TOO centered on salvation” But then I said, “Amen! That’s exactly right.” Man-centered rather than God-centered is never right.

And what about the parachurch-centeredness? What do you think? I TOTALLY agreed with him about it being an “evangelical trademark,” especially as I reflected on my first years of being a Christian.

Thankfully, I WAS taught that it was important to be a member of a local church and, by GRACE, I always quickly submitted myself to the authority of a local congregation whenever I moved as a teenager and young adult. But I was in my late twenties before I was ever taught the doctrine of the Church and what really makes the Church unique WHY it is so important for Believers to be in a local church.

Must run now–but I’ll write more later!

Happy Thursday, everyone!

Much love,
Tara B.

(Mostly just testing to see if my blog will accept photos again. But enjoy little muffin ballet tater tot too!)

HT to PalmTreePundit for bringing this hero to my attention:

Hero: Sgt. Rafael Peralta

Seriously. Don’t miss reading this.

How I thank God for Mr. Peralta and all of our brave men and women in uniform (and their families!).

I should’ve taken a photo ... but we were all in WAY too many layers ...

Lilikoi and I JUST got back from WALKING the girls to ballet class.

Normally this is not blog-worthy news ... but it’s like 20 degrees out and we have a LOT of drifting snow ... so it was quite an adventure.

I left plenty of time and bundled everyone up in enough layers that no one complained about the cold. BUT ... I just asked our neighbor if she would drive me BACK to pick UP the girls in like ten minutes because MAN! It was cold and slippery and the snow was DEEP and it was just too much for this Momma to do twice.

(Oh–and I had to ask our neighbor because there is just NO WAY that our little Honda Civic would make it through the drifts and snow-ruts. Cars and even SUVs are spinning out and getting stuck all over the place ... so I am going to take advantage of my generous neighbor’s Suburban for the return trip. You know ... one of these days, if we keep living in Montana, we are going to HAVE to just pray in a heavier, 4-wheel-drive vehicle for our family. These winters are insane.)

ANYWAY ... just wanted to share my snowy adventure with you! I’m sure my little pink-cheeked, happy ballerinas are having a blast and Lili is licking the snowballs off of her paw-fur at my feet. I’m off to find dry socks so the girls don’t have to get cold again after class.

Hope you’re warmer than we are!

Love and blessings,
Tara B.

Tomorrow our family will spend the morning together so that we can attend Lois Sande’s funeral.

Lois was Sunny Murray’s (my dear friend) and Ken Sande’s (president of Peacemaker Ministries and my former boss) mother–and though we did not know her well, she was been a constant part of our lives our entire time here in Billings.

Not only was she a model for all of us as to what it looks like to face debilitating illness and old-age with grace, she also generously gave our family a number of household items years ago–so I often think of her as I go throughout my workday at home. (I am typing this blog while sitting on her couch. I did three loads of laundry today in her washing machine. And our guests sleep on her comfy king-sized guest bed. )

To prepare Sophie for the funeral, we spoke off and on throughout the day about Heaven and death; new bodies and the end of suffering; why we honor loved ones with Christian burial, etc.

We also read Wait Until Then, by Randy Alcorn, as one of our bedtime books. I really love that book and I heartily recommend it as a way to step into conversations with our children about the death of a loved one and Heaven to come.

(BUT ... I must warn you ... I still haven’t been able to read it to Sophie without crying. But that’s OK. She actually cries a little bit too when the Grandpa dies and it gives us a chance to talk about how it’s OK to cry. Death makes us sad! Even Jesus wept at the tomb of His friend.)

I did have a SWEET gasp tonight, though, that I wanted to tell you about ...

For our Bible reading, we read The Prodigal Son. And the way it’s laid out in our children’s Bible, the son rebels, takes the money, and is off living his life of sin. Then, on the same page, he begins to repent and wonders if his dad will be angry and reject him. He is afraid of how his dad will respond. It’s all very compellingly written and I love watching Sophie as I read it to her ...

- He wonders if his dad will say, “I don’t love you anymore!” (And Sophie SHAKES SHAKES SHAKES her head NO!)
- He is afraid that his dad won’t forgive him. (And Sophie leans forward ... eager to turn the page.)

Because as soon as the page is turned, there is a HUGE painting of the dad grabbing his robes and RUNNING TO HIS SON. And every time, Sophie’s face LIGHTS UP with the BIGGEST SMILE "because Daddies ALWAYS forgive their children and Daddies ALWAYS love their children ... just like God ALWAYS forgives us and loves us!"

What a great reminder.

It’s like that sermon Pastor Alfred preached a few months back where he encouraged us to turn away from condemning (and inaccurate!) thoughts that would lead us to doubt the magnitude of God’s forbearance and patience with us.

He said we are SO QUICK to think, “How could God forgive me AGAIN?! How could I EVER ask Him to forgive me for this SAME THING again and AGAIN?! Surely God must TIRE of me!!”

But God NEVER tires of forgiving His children.
Never.

We tire of forgiving people–and that’s why it’s so easy to doubt the steadfastness of God’s compassion, mercy, kindness, forgiveness, and love.

But God never tires.

"For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;

as far as the east is from the west,
so far does he remove our transgressions from us.

As a father shows compassion to his children,
so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.

For he knows our frame;
he remembers that we are dust." Psalm 103:11-14

He remembers. He knows we are dust.
But He really does have compassion on us!

Run to Him!
Run to Him!
(He is already running to you.)

G'nite and God bless!

Your friend,
Tara B.

Have you ever actually seen this?



Until today, I don’t think that I had actually SEEN it. I’d read the text, of course. But oratory like this really should be heard and seen and experienced, don’t you think?

Another classic from Peacemaker Ministries:

Can the Church be a Peacemaking Forum?

To tempt you with just a smidgen from it:

"Some will say that the typical church today doesn’t have the resources to provide this level of care for its members. We don’t believe that this is a legitimate excuse. At the foundation of our conviction is Christ’s promise that his church would be built and the gates of Hell could not and would not prevail against it. Do you believe this is true of the church? Is the body of Christ that strong? If it is, then this excuse is not credible. One of the most common and frequent accusations brought by unbelievers against the church today is the charge of hypocrisy. Is the church ready to prove the power of the indwelling Holy Spirit by truly being the body of Christ—by exercising Christ-like authority to resolve conflicts and disputes among her own members?"

Hope you enjoy!

(And hope I make it home tonight. I’m in my first of three airports for the day and the snow always makes air travel iffy. Here’s hoping!)

(Oh! And hi Tennessee! Thanks for the wonderful weekend.)

Blessings!
– Tara B.

HT to Pastor JollyBlogger for this great link:

Seven Key Ideas from C.S. Lewis

I’m SO excited! Fred just told me that he put my four new audio CDs on my website’s resource page!

I hope to put together a little email “announcement/letter” in a few weeks (once the dvd project REALLY wraps) ... but just in case any of these topics might interest you, I wanted to tell you right away that they are available:

- Peacemaking for Preschoolers (and Their Mothers!)

- “But How Can I Submit When I Know He’s Wrong”—Biblical Conflict Resolution Involving Authority Relationships

- Biblical Hope (and Help!) for Women with Powerful Personalities

- Mediating the “Miserable Christian Marriage” (co-taught with my pastor, Jason Barrie)

Hope they are a blessing to you!

Happy Friday–

Your friend,
Tara B.

PS
By the way ... if cost is ever an issue for you or someone you know, I hope that you will please drop me a note and let me know what resource would help and what the situation is. I never want $$$ to stop someone from being encouraged or helped! And if our family has peanut butter for the week, then your family does too.

Oh–and even if you’re not an auditory learner (so the CDs are uninteresting to you), the outlines are also available for downloading at no cost.

PPS
I had some super-cute pics of Soph that I wanted to upload for you today but my blog is wigging out again. Bummer! I’ll try again another day. In about an hour I’m being picked up from my hotel and taken to the camp/retreat center for this weekend. I think I might be completely cell-phone / internet / even land-line phone free until Sunday evening! Man, but that’ll be weird. Hope I don’t go into some sort of techno-withdrawal process.

If you haven’t yet read this classic from Peacemaker Ministries, please take a moment and click on over:

"Daddy? Is that you?"

I remember way back in law school (EONS ago!) when I first read The Peacemaker and started their conciliator training program. Oh man! The stories and testimonies Ken could share. He can be quite the crier too.

Anyway–hope you enjoy and are edified as you head into your weekend!

May we make every effort to pursue peace this day and always.

Yours,
Tara B.

I watched the final DVDs on my flight to TN!
Final proofreaders are catching any stray typos in the study guide!

I really think we’re going to be a “go” with the DVD series in the next couple of weeks. Wow.

Thanks for praying and encouraging me so faithfully! I’m so happy to see the whites of the eyes of this project.

First women’s retreat of the year starts tonight ... I hope I serve them well! I feel VERY out of practice. I even FORGOT THINGS re: packing! (And I never do that. TOO weird.)

Wish I had something pithy or wise or insightful to share ... but I’m going to sign off and head to bed.

Bunches of joy to you from Tennessee!

Your friend,
Tara B.

From my iGoogle “C.S. Lewis Quote of the Day”:

"Everyone feels benevolent if nothing happens to be annoying him at the moment."

Too true.
Way way too true.

I am continuing to slowly work through Bonhoeffer’s “Life Together” and this morning’s reading brought another level of “hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm” to my heart and mind.

(Oh–and by the way–I just can’t even IMAGINE being able to think so clearly and articulate so persuasively with such intelligent, forceful, and perfectly appropriate words. Truly, this man–who didn’t live to see 40 before the Nazis executed him!–was uniquely gifted by God.)

Here is just an excerpt (I was SO tempted to keep typing and give you paragraph after paragraph ... but really, I just encourage you to buy the book):

"On innumerable occasions a whole Christian community has been shattered because it has lived on the basis of a wishful image. Certainly serious Christians who are put in a community for the first time will often bring with them a very definite image of what Christian communal life should be, and they will be anxious to realize it. But God’s grace quickly frustrates all such dreams. A great disillusionment with others, with Christians in general, and, if we are fortunate, with ourselves, is bound to overwhelm us as surely as God desires to lead us to an understanding of genuine Christian community. By sheer grace God will not permit us to live in a dream world for even a few weeks and to abandon ourselves to those blissful experiences and exalted moods that sweep over us like a wave of rapture. For God is not a God of emotionalism, but the God of truth. Only that community which enters into the experience of this great disillusionment with all its unpleasant and evil appearances begins to be what it should be in God’s sight, begins to grasp in faith the promise that is given to it.

The sooner this moment of disillusionment comes over the individual and the community, the better for both ... Those who love their dream of a Christian community more than the Christian community itself become destroyers of that Christian community even though their personal intentions may be ever so honest, earnest, and sacrificial."

I’m trusting that most of you don’t read the COMMENTS on my old blog postings. (I know that I surely don’t poke around and read all of the comments on the few blogs I read each day.)

But Anne left such a great one on my “Like a Hotel” post about organizing our bedroom that I wanted to bring it up to an actual post for you.

Here is what she said:

"You’re inspiring me, too. I try to keep a handle on the clutter anyway because we have a small house and have moved often, but I haven’t been ruthless enough lately.

I’m going to tackle my bedroom this week and ask William Morris questions of every item: Do I believe this to be beautiful or know it to be useful? If I can’t say yes, I’m tossing or passing it along. Too much stuff weighs me down!

Can’t wait to see pics of your bedroom!" - Anne

Isn’t that just brilliant? I’m SO going to try to remember those two questions when I tackle future “pockets of resistance.”

(That’s the term I used for areas of disorder in my life/home. For example, right now, Sophie’s arts & crafts area is a DEFINITE “pocket of resistance.” Must be taken down by the organizing Momma! Well ... one of these days. )

Oh ... that reminds me of another term that was in a blog comment on that same post. I described some area of clutter as “not exhibiting randomness.”

Again, that term is just a little inside joke between Fred and me. “Not exhibiting randomness” is the only thing I remember from my grad school statistics (that Fred completely coached me through! good ol' math-brain Fred!)

If something is “not exhibiting randomness” it is CHAOTIC. And yup. That’s definitely the arts and crafts cabinet right now.

One of these days ... it WILL bow to my organizing skills. But maybe not today.

Blessings to you!
Hang in there!

God is with you.

Yours,
Tara B.

Do you ever respect and care for certain people ... but, for whatever reason, find that you don’t really “click” with them?

I can think of a few of these people in my life.

We’ve never had a conflict. I don’t have any distinctly negative thoughts or feelings about them. But every time we interact, it’s very much like oil and water. We just don’t mix. We don’t get each other.

This used to really bother me. I wanted to get along with everyone! Somehow I thought that “Christian fellowship” and “love” meant that every personality, every communication style, every quirk & maturity & immaturity would fit together well.

But now I don’t think that anymore.

Yes, I am absolutely convinced that we are to strive for the peace and unity of the Body.

Yes, we are definitely called to love one another; speak well of one another; “accept one another just as Christ accepts [us].”

But now I feel so much more comfortable just acknowledging, “Wow. I really don’t get her.” Or, “Hmmmmmmm ... I really appreciate all he does for the church and I know he cares about me ... but MAN! We are just NOT a good fit communication/style/personality-wise.”

And then I absolutely KNOW that there are going to be lots and lots of people who DO get them and find them astoundingly EASY to relate with and just a JOY to be around. (And those people are PROBABLY going to be the ones who find that I’m just a little strange and, though they genuinely care about me, find it hard to “click” with ME.)

It is just a fact of life that we are going to relate with different people in different ways. We will be attracted to certain personalities and called to persevere with others.

Such is the Christian life.

We don’t have to write them off, disrespect them, or say they have some sort of flaw. Rather, we can give a little chuckle, thank God for them, and not worry about it.

That’s what I’m telling myself anyway.

May God give us the grace to love well!

Here’s to a happy Tuesday–

With joy,
Tara B.

I just saw that Tim Challies has stopped by Pastor JollyBlogger’s blog today to promote his new book, The Discipline of Discernment. I guess the blogs that have Tim stopping by get to pose him a question and then post his answer on their blogs. Then he checks the comments during the day and interacts accordingly.

Here is Pastor JollyBlogger’s question for Tim:

In our denomination we ask those seeking to join our church to take five vows, the last of which reads: Do you submit yourselves to the government and discipline of the Church, and promise to study its purity and peace?

As discernment is a discipline most often associated with protecting the purity of the church, how might this discipline be used to protect the peace of the church?

Don’t you want to read Tim’s reply?

Check it out at: Tim Challies Stops By On His Blog Tour

Yesterday I (finally!) started to come around re: MP3 files and (as we did lots of other things) I ripped a bunch of my CDs to my laptop.

It will be SO wonderful to get to travel with a nice selection of classical, jazz, worship, Black chorus, bluegrass, and even one country album (can you believe it?! country? ME?! but it’s SO fun!).

There is one TINY problem, though ...

I’m not sure I’m going to EVER be able to listen to my Glenn Gould Goldberg Variations! He really DOES hummmmmmmmm along AS he plays! (Blech! Great pianist. Not so great singer.)

I never noticed it on my little stereo at home, but it shows up BIG TIME when I listen through my snazzy travelin-Tara Bose noise canceling ear phones. So I’m thinkin' I might end up skipping this album a lot.

How fun to tackle this little MP3 fear! And it wasn’t even hard. Sometimes technology actually works the way it’s supposed to. Yeah-rah!

Happy Monday, all!

Yours,
Tara B.

Happy Birthday Considerable Grace!



Three years old today! It been great to blog with y'all.
(A little southern there for our dear PalmTree Anne.)

Oh–and isn’t that the most scrumptious looking cake? If anyone were ever to throw me a surprise party for any reason ... a cool cake like that would, you know, not be unappreciated. (Hint hint. )

Happy Sunday, all!
And Happy Birthday blog!

Yours,
Tara B.

I really need to post some photos ... but I’m kind of waiting until we get everything finalized ...

Our “new & improved” bedroom is just SO much more inviting, relaxing, and “warm” than our old one. It is truly AMAZING what just changing the paint color can do. Plus new outlet covers (bye bye old faded yellowing plastic covers from the 70’s!)

AND ... the thing that I believe is TRULY the most relaxing for ME: Bye-bye CLUTTER!

Yes, it’s true. I asked of absolutely EVERY SINGLE THING before I allowed it BACK into our newly-painted, spic-n-span clean room:

Have you EARNED the right to be here?

Specifically ... I am no longer using our master bedroom as a repository for STORAGE.

Man! Were there a LOT of things that really had NO RIGHT to be there.

- Sweatshirts we never wear
- Clothing that is SO far away in “dream size maybe one day Tara”-ville that it’s ridiculous to keep them
- Old costume jewelry that is never worn
- Scarves that I keep HOPING one day I’ll turn into one of those super-confident-scarf-wearing women, but I never do
- A wooden box on Fred’s dresser that had exactly ONE thing he ACTUALLY (only occasionally) used in it: a pocketknife. The rest of the box was simply taking up space and crying out for a dusting each week.

Oh! How they TOTALLY did not earn the privilege of returning and staying.

Gone gone gone!
Hooray and yeah-rah!

Here is my system for (WONDERFUL!) times such as these:

1. Do I REALLY use this? How many times have I used it in the last week / month? If not much or not at all ... BYE BYE!

2. For occasionally-used things: a) basement shelves or closet; or b) garage or backyard storage building.

3. For never-used things: a) give away; or b) throw away.

I was ruthless! And it is SO nice. So very, very nice.

I can feel my subconscious going AHHHHHHHHHHH.
Like a big ol' deep, cleansing breath.

Creating a more welcoming environment for Fred and me.
Being a better steward of “stuff”–especially by giving things away.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

I’ll post pics as soon as we get just a smidgen more done.

Hope you’re having a wonderful Sabbath!

Love from the Barthels,
Tara B.

I am (finally!) reading slowly through Dietrich Bonhoeffer’s Life Together.

Of course, just about every paragraph contains something to stop and ponder over. But tonight I wanted to share just one brief excerpt with the hope that it will encourage you to read this great book too:

"Self-centeredness always insinuates itself in any process of intellectual or spiritual selectivity, destroying the spiritual power of the community and robbing the community of its effectiveness for the church ... The exclusion of the weak and insignificant, the seemingly useless people, from everyday Christian life in community may actually mean the exclusion of Christ; for in the poor sister or brother, Christ is knocking at the door. We must, therefore, be very careful on this point."

(Convicting, eh?!)

May God give us grace to turn away from self-centeredness and exclusivity!

G'nite and God bless–

Yours,
Tara B.

I’ve shared this story at my alumni/advanced women’s retreat (when we talk about adoption), but it’s SO AMAZING and it was JUST printed in our local paper, so I thought I’d share it again:

Chance Meeting on Airplane Leads to Teen’s Adoption

(Don’t forget the tissues if you take two minutes to read this.)

Grace grace grace.
Wow.

(Oh–and we are in the same church as this family. The parents are on staff at Peacemaker Ministries.)

Don’t miss this post over at the former SoloFemininity now RadicalWomanhood:

The Rules for Self-Discovery

Yeek! Yet again, Carolyn McCulley hits it out of the park.

Sophie and I had a great morning ... she’s actually getting this violin thing down now, so that’s very fun. And we’re in a groove now with our little post-breakfast cuddles and Bible / catechism / prayer / Sophie reading out loud / math & logic / violin routine. So that’s all fine.

BUT ... after her little ballet class, we BOTH began a little downward spiral dance of sin and grouchiness.

She was selfish. I was grouchy. She became disobedient and earned herself a painful consequence. I was more grouchy. She began to throw a little fit and earn herself an even MORE painful consequence. I was, of course, even more grouchy.

It was not a good time.

But then I remembered something that a friend told me once about how, as he reflects on his parenting of young children, he wishes he had been more MERCIFUL.

And so I thought, “Hey! Why not try mercy?”

So I pulled Sophie to me, cuddled with her, and said, “Why don’t we PRAY.”

It wasn’t some sort of Hallmark moment, however, because her FIRST reply was how she DID want mercy but that we DIDN’T need to pray because we had ALREADY prayed about all this. (When she confessed and we were reconciled ... but we were both still pretty grouchy and she had more painful consequences to come.)

SO ... I gritted my teeth and said:

"I’m not saying we have to pray so that you can confess again, Soph. Yes, you are right that you don’t have to confess again. That’s all been dealt with. But we can ALL always use prayer. Let’s pray and ask God to help us BOTH to turn a corner here and head into the rest of our days with happy and grateful hearts. OK?"

She agreed that might be wise. And so we prayed.

And then we even braved a BIG OL' trip to Costco!
And it went well.

She was happy and cheerful. I wasn’t grouchy ol' Momma.
And now we’re home.

I’m very grateful that God helped me to give her mercy AND to remember the mercy that was toward ME as well.

Happy Friday, all!

Yours,
Tara B.

So what is it with me re: January and home repair projects?

Right after I hired a (great!) college guy (who is a skilled painter) to paint our bedroom,
Moved every single thing OUT of our bedroom and INTO Sophie’s,
Moved US into the basement for the week,
And watched this great guy (FINALLY!) get rid of the blue I have hated in my bedroom pretty much every single day for seven years since we put it in ...



OF COURSE, the hot water faucet in our bathtub BROKE and started spouting (pouring/gushing) HOT WATER ...
And after I called Fred to find out how to turn OFF the water to the house (actually not that hard to do now that I’ve “bravely” done it rather than my norm of waiting for Fred to come home and rescue me) ...
I THOUGHT I had a moment’s reprieve.

Until ... Soph came out of her schoolroom and said:

"There is water dripping on my FOOT."

(Not a good sign given the fact that our schoolroom is directly BELOW the bathtub that just blew a gasket or something.)

So one more frantic call to Fred ("What should I do?! Water is coming through the CEILING into the schoolroom!!") ...
And I just have to ask:

What is it with me and January and home repairs?

(As in: What could I possibly have been thinking?)

TOTALLY had to check my blog archives and, sure enough, the last time I tried to do a home repair project like this was the "Let’s surprise Fred with a re-done bathroom" adventure of January 2007.

I would have kept on meandering through my archives (somehow I can tolerate old blog posts whereas I can’t handle even MINUTES of having to HEAR or SEE myself teach–BLECH!) ...

But of course I have WATER coming in through my CEILING!

So no meandering.

Just one more quick January blog archive comment, though, before I wade back into the chaos of our home ...

January 13, 2008 will mark the three year anniversary of this blog. Yup. My first blog post ever (referring to “S.” who is, of course, Samara) was posted on January 13, 2005.

Weird, huh?
Who’d a thought we’d end up still together after three years?
Around 1,000 real visitors a week (not counting seconds-only-SPAMBOTS).
From all around the world.

What a privilege!
What a joy.

I start traveling to teach again in one week ... so I assume I’ll get back on point again re: women and peacemaking and all that.

But I just wanted to say hello and g'nite from the chaos of the Barthel home.
(Oh–and next January ... maybe someone can WAVE ME OFF OF any home repair ideas I might have. )

Blessings to you!

Yours,
Tara B.

Today during our Bible reading, as she looked at the edges of the pages of my study Bible, Sophia said:

"Momma? Don’t you think that the pages of our Bible are shiny Gold because Jesus is the Light of the World?"

And I said, “Sure!”

In his sermon last Sunday, Pastor Alfred reminded us that the Holy Spirit intercedes for us with “groans that words cannot express” (Romans 8:26).

He called this “the heart’s helper” and reminded us that when we feel as though NO ONE UNDERSTANDS US, God says:

"You’re right. People cannot connect fully with you. But I can. I know you. You are known. You are not alone."

Thank God for the Spirit’s groanings!

(And for Pastor Alfred.)

Blessed Tuesday to you, my friends!

With love,
Tara B.

I was just crushed by guilt and shame the other evening.

Poor Fred. I was talking and talking and it grew later and later. My spirit was SO troubled!

At one point I literally said to him:

"I can’t think of ONE memory from my ENTIRE life that doesn’t have some level of GUILT associated with it."

Can you believe it? What a ridiculously un-Christian, faithless statement to make.

But I sure felt it.

Fred, as usual, mercifully pointed out how guilt is often quite easy to experience in life because we all have so many inadequacies.

And yes, he pointed me to Christ and reminded me of the forgiveness and adoption that truly are mine because of Christ’s PERFECTION (and incarnation and life, death, and resurrection).

(Oh ... and I DID come up with two memories that I didn’t have guilt or shame about. One had to do with a time in high school when I really did well sight-reading an accompaniment for choir. (Hey! It was the accompaniment that Lili ate! How funny.) And the other had to do with that night during our courtship when I confessed my s*xual sins to Fred and he forgave me so completely and utterly that it was the truest experience of GRACE and the GOSPEL I have ever had in this life.)

ANYWAY ... I was thinking about all of that in church on Sunday when we sang Trudy Poirier’s song, Taste and See.

Some of you might remember from my women’s retreat that one of the verses says:

"You have not chosen many wise,
You have not chosen many strong,
You take the weakest ones in this world,
That you may show your grace and glory."

Feeling pretty weak, I was hungering for communion as our pastor guarded the table and gave the words of institution.

I thought to myself:

"I need rescue. I need transformation. I am a wreck!"

And then another verse of Trudy song rang out in my heart:

"This is my theme, this is my song,
To praise the Lord my whole life long.
He took the water of my life,
And turned it into sweetest wine."

I prayed:

"How grateful I am that you didn’t just change my RANCID water into some other state of slightly-cleaner-non-rancid water. No. Just like at the wedding in Cana, you completely changed me into something DIFFERENT. Something new. Every cell in my body. Every iota of Tara-water-ness made into a new creation.

Thank You, God."

And I, the most faithless of sinners in our entire congregation, took the bread and the wine. And I was reminded of the Truth.

Jesus really did die for sinners. And He really HAS made His children new–and He IS making His children new.
Water into wine.

Thank God.

Hope your week is a great one!
Fred and I are still gunning and gunning–pushing and pushing. But there are sweet moments of quietness and rest too. Sounds like life.

Happy Monday!

Yours,
Tara B.

Another great article by Carolyn McCulley over at boundless.org:

Whom Do You Fear?

Well ... it’s been a few months since it happened ... but I wanted to wait to ask Sophie for permission to share this story because I wanted her to KNOW and be ABSOLUTELY CONFIDENT that she was and is totally 100% forgiven.

I just asked her and we talked about it and she said,

"You can share about that, Mom, so that other moms and kids can be encouraged that they can really be forgiven because of Jesus."

So here goes ...

A few weeks ago, during a playdate with one of her FAVORITE friends in the WORLD, Sophie hit her.

Now ... this is not normal in our household. As far as I know, she has never hit anyone else. It’s just not one of the things that she struggles with (although she struggles with LOTS of sins of course).

As SOON as she did it, she started saying, “I’M SORRY! I’M SORRY!” and she grabbed her friend and tried to hug her. And then she RAN AWAY AND HID because she knew that what did was really, really bad.

"I struck her in anger, Momma," she said to me.

(She even scratched her friend a little a drew a TINY amount of blood. It really was not a great moment.)

Graciously, after Sophie confessed ... her little friend QUICKLY forgave her.

AND graciously, MY friend (the mother of the victim) ministered SO MUCH kindness to Sophie and to me when she came to pick up her daughter at the end of the playdate:

- “No worries, Tara. This kind of thing happens among kids. We’re not worried about it.”

- “My daughter can be VERY provoking. I’m sure she’s not without some contribution in the whole thing.”

- “You know, our son went through a season of really struggling with hitting. It was a hard time and we can really relate.”

- “Does SOPHIE know she is FORGIVEN? I’d better run upstairs and check on her and make sure she knows that I’m not mad at her.”

You know, I just can’t IMAGINE raising children with friends who weren’t aware of their own sin (and the sins of their children) and who weren’t SO QUICK to be SO GRACIOUS and forgiving too.

Parenting is just too hard anyway ... I just couldn’t bear it if I were surrounded my moms who viewed it as a competitive sport.

(Thanks, friend of the victim! )

And thank You, God, for grace in parenting.

Aren’t you looking forward to corporate worship tomorrow? Ahhhh ... the Sabbath. Another grace.

Talk with you soon–

Yours,
Tara B.

Thursday and today I worked INTENSELY on HUGE projects. Had to concentrate without interruption. Spent 10+ hours on my laptop (without being wise and stopping every few hours to stretch my back and wrists). Had to rely on Fred, ballet/sports class/group violin, and friends (THANK YOU SARAH!) to help keep Sophie safe, happy, and hopefully somewhat growing in grace.

And I REALLY REALLY tried to NOT be stressed as I worked SO hard.

(Not my forte this whole “not being stressed” thing.)

I tried to trust in God, be happy and grateful, and just have a hopeful/content/not freaking out attitude.

But I can’t even tell you how FITFULLY I slept–when I slept, which wasn’t much.

I had the MOST stressful/anxious dreams ... running away from antagonists, peering over the precipice of a cliff, almost missing flights, STRESSFUL.

I woke up in the morning with sore muscles and a sore jaw–from clenching all night, I’m sure.

But I also LAUGHED at myself and thought,

"Hmmmm ... apparently my subconscious mind didn’t get the message."

What can you do?

I KNOW that God IS growing me in grace.
Still ... until Glory, even as sanctified as God makes me, I’m never going to be Mr. Steady-Freddy Type B, right?

I am who I am–but I am grateful for God’s present means of grace that are active in my life.

One day at a time, right?
It’s all so much better than I deserve.

Hope you have a blessed weekend–

Sending you love,
Tara B.

Just found my sermon notes from the Sunday before Christmas and I realized, upon reading them, that I had sent Fred a little note (a la freshman algebra) restating what one of our little four-year old friends had just said to me:

“Auntie Tara, did the angels make God a little baby?”

“No, love. God made God a little Baby.”

(My little friend smiled and responded … )

“THAT’S COOL!”

Also in my sermon notes from when Pastor Alfred Poirier preached “When the Time Had Fully Come” from Galatians 4:1-11:

- There is a blindness that can come by looking … “It is an item of faith that we are the children of God, but there is a lot of evidence in us AGAINST it.” P.T. Forsythe

- Instead of living in the FREEDOM of children, we slip into Quid Pro Quo. We Christians can live as though Christ never came! We are enslaved by principles all over again.

- Paul reminds us who we are: God has made us sons. And if we are son, then we are HEIRS.

- There is NO HOPE in comforting a dying person by assuring her that she has lived a good life. This is just beating someone down with the LAW! It can only lead to despair. Living a good life is GREAT—but it doesn’t give you any hope when you’re dying. Living a good life does NOT raise the dead.

- Christmas is about God sending His Son; sending His eternal Son. Jesus took our nature completely and was born under the law. (If you want to get to know Jesus, get to know His obedience!) Jesus kept God’s law PERFECTLY.

- What’s your salvation project for this year? (We all have one.) But Christ came and lived and died to REDEEM us from that law—that we might receive the full benefit of salvation. (Not just forgiven—we are adopted as sons!)

May God give us grace to live out even HALF of what we KNOW to be true.

Happy Thursday!

Yours,
Tara B.

“Human sin is stubborn but not as stubborn as the grace of God and not half so persistent, not half so ready to suffer to win its way.” C. Plantinga

We are SO close to having the DVD series done! It’s exciting ... BUT ...

We REALLY need someone with gifts in marketing/writing to help us with the “copy” (content/text) for the:

1. Back page of the study guide and dvd box;

2) Bulletin insert;

3) Promotional sign;

4) Magazine advertisement; and

5) Content for the voiceover for a two-minute (and one minute and 30 second) video “ad” (that would also include some of the quote the women in the audience gave during our feedback/Q&A time).

Fred and I are TRYING to do this ourselves–but I think we sound pretty lame.

We TRIED to hire two people–but one wasn’t interested and we couldn’t afford the other.

So–if any of YOU are interested (or know someone who has gifts in these areas), would you please drop me an email and let me know?

It feels so frustrating to get THIS CLOSE to the finish line and have no creativity/energy left for such an important aspect of the project.

Thanks, friends!

Yours,
Tara B.

This evening as I cleaned up the dinner dishes and did that “walk around the house putting things back into the places they belong” Tara-thing, Sophie asked me:

"Will you ALWAYS have to work, Momma?"

Not knowing whether she meant TODAY or THIS WEEK or whatever, I asked her to clarify her question. So then she said:

"Will you have to work right up until Heaven?"

Good question, I thought. And the answer is probably–YES.

Work is good. We are called to work–it’s not a curse to work. Thorns are a curse, yes. And lots of work is unpleasant, sure.

But honestly? A lot of my current “work” is actually quite enjoyable–reading books and being read to by a sweet four year-old; feeding and grooming a gentle Golden; praying for and encouraging the world’s kindest husband, etc. etc.

I have such an “easy” life–and yet, so often I am tempted to frustration, fear, or even ingratitude.

It really is such a drag to look deep within and see such an anxious heart.
I should be singing songs of gladness every moment of EVERY day!
God has blessed me beyond what I could EVER imagine.

And yet ... and yet ...

It’s SO easy (still) to feel like there is just no place for me in the world.

It’s SO hard (still) to sit in a room, say, hypothetically, at a flock gathering New Year’s Eve Party–and not feel like a total idiot (either not talking enough or talking too much; trying to visit with people and feeling stupid; trying to not be an overprotective/hovering mother but also trying to not be disinterested and unattached to what my daughter is doing).

I like doing my job–and I dread it.
I love being a mom–but I sure don’t feel any confidence in how I’m doing.

I THINK we’re doing OK and things will be OK–but then ... I’m always waiting for the axe to fall. I’m waiting to be rejected and put out by my church leaders. I’m waiting to be rejected and put out by people who claimed to be my friends. I just have no calm confidence or assurance. None.

Pretty despairing, eh?

O! Who will save me from myself?

Thanks be to God–in Christ–Who DOES give me the victory of my sin and Who IS giving me the victory over my sin, selfishness, self-centeredness, unbelief, and lack of love.

“Get your eyes off of yourself, Tara! Stop being so introspective! Get to work! If you were doing half of your duties you wouldn’t have TIME to be such a whiner.”

("Oh, and God loves you. You’re going to be OK. Though Father and Mother reject you, God will never reject you. Even if you never ever fit in anywhere else–you do fit in with God. You forget God all the time, but He NEVER forgets you. Hang in there. This is life nothing but a constant death–but it doesn’t last forever.")

Just trying to remember One True Thing, eh?

May God be lifted up in 2008 and always!

Yours,
Tara B.