considerable grace

Just a note to let you know that I am going to be OFFLINE for a couple of days. (What will I DO?!?!)

I’m in Florida and my A/C power cord for my laptop just COMPLETELY DIED.

I have like 22 minutes of battery power left–and I’m kind of freaking out about it.
I didn’t even bring a book to read!?!

That I’m freaking out is not a good sign, eh?
Maybe I’m “hooked” to my email/blog “connectedness” just a LITTLE TOO MUCH.

Anyway ... not for long.
I have all day today and 5 hours of flights tomorrow to find something else to do with my time. Blergh. I try to be so productive on trips!! This is stressing me out.

Guess it’s time to pray. (Always time to pray.)

Hope your weekend goes well and I’ll let you know if I ever get power again!

God bless from your acoustic/unplugged pal,
Tara B.

Randy Alcorn’s Blog often has profound/deep thoughts about life, death, sin, grace, suffering, generosity, etc. (His children’s book on Heaven really was a blessing last year when we lost Choza, our baby, and Grandma Marjorie all in the course of a few months.)

But today? No profound thoughts. Just a compilation of things, one of which made me laugh:

"With all the sadness going on in the world, it’s worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which almost went unnoticed last week. Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote “The Hokie Pokey” died peacefully at the age of 93. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in. And then the trouble started."

(Guess he actually passed in 1996. But as a momma who has enjoyed the Hokey Pokey many-a-time with her girl AND with her Hokey Pokey Elmo AND with the Polkaholics, the joke still made me laugh.)

After I webcam breakfast with Fred & Soph, I have just GOT to get some ghost writing done now before I head out for my event! I usually try to do it each week on my outbound flights, but I was just WAY too tired/zoned yesterday (and my Inbox was just way too full of messages needing a response) ... OR, the TRUTH? I was just lazy.

So ... back to work! Hope you enjoy a lovely day.

Remember! Though we are faithless, He is ever faithful!

Love and blessings,
Tara B.

PS
Here is the Easter pic they took of Soph and me. I hadn’t planned on getting my picture taken–or I wouldn’t have worn a big bulky green sweater and/or had my hair in its naturally “curls by Jesus” state.

I met with my pastor yesterday. We’ve been meeting regularly for a few months now. I’m helping him a tiny bit with a project and he’s helping me a TON with, well, lots of stuff.

He helps to hold me accountable with my ongoing battle of faith’s fight against sin re: habitual overeating / gluttony / idolatry of food.

He prays for Fred, Sophie and me and helps me as a parent.

And he gives me advice and counsel on my teaching–which I just can’t even BEGIN to tell you how much I appreciate. Having never been to seminary, I am KEENLY aware of just how much I DON’T know. I try to be careful and biblically-faithful! But oh my ... I’m sure I mess things up a lot. (Or, as he would say–gracious guy that he is–I can “tighten up” and “be clearer” on some points.)

ANYWAY ... during our meeting, he read from Job 14 and reminded me of the riches of God’s grace in forgiving ALL my sins. He was so excited about this passage and said he’s going to preach on it! I can’t wait.

Slow down. Read this carefully. Listen again to just how gracious and forgiving God truly is!

“You will call and I will answer you; you will long for the creature your hands have made. Surely then you will count my steps but not keep track of my sin. My offenses will be sealed up in a bag; you will cover over my sin.” Job 14:15-17

Oh oh oh! Isn’t the only response to such a God, worship?!

That God will count our steps–be with us every moment of every day–when we are our “best” and at our absolute WORST ...

And then, He will seal up our offenses in a bag and COVER OVER our sin.

We owe a debt we could NEVER pay back.

“And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt.” Matthew 18:27

Thank You, God, for Your indescribable grace!

With love from a sleepy girl in Florida,
Tara B.

Well ... I stayed up too late!

But look at what I accomplished:



Now I’m just hoping that I packed, you know, actual clothing and event materials for Florida too.

Everyone should be receiving their DVDs soon EXCEPT that:

1. Fred MAY be getting sick. If he pops a high fever and goes down for the flu count, things may not ship out until I get home on Monday anyway.

2. If you ordered Trudy’s audio CD ("Songs of Living the Gospel in Relationships"), your order will be a bit delayed because I haven’t received those yet. (Sorry about that! I just emailed the duplication company so hopefully I’ll have an e.t.a. for you before too long.)

OK. I’m going to TRY to get a TEENY bit of sleep yet tonight.

I hope that my heart can slow down and REST.

It was a rough night ... Fred wasn’t feeling well; Sophie was EXTREMELY grouchy because she is missing a “pajamas and popcorn” party at her little preschool/playgroup tomorrow (because our homeschooling co-op has been moved to Thursdays for four weeks). She was a textbook case of being caught in a “Monster Want.”

Oh! This life has many disappointments, eh? I pray that God will help her to turn away from these desires that have been elevated to DEMANDS and be CONTENT. It’s so hard!

Goodnight (good morning?) and God bless!

Love,
Tara B.

Oh my STARS!

Big ol' boxes were just delivered to my back door ... my DVD series is actually HERE!

Living the Gospel in Relationships

I’m a little freaked out. Feeling very vulnerable.

(I think I feel like, “Why in the WORLD do I even TRY to do stuff like this!?! There are like a ZILLION people who teach this material better than me. I can’t believe I let myself be VIDEOTAPED. Eek!” etc. etc. But then I just say, “Oh well! All we can do is our best. Let it go, Tara. And just do the next thing.”)

ANYWAY ... if I can get packed for Florida (Hi Florida!) and print out the labels and box everything up ... AND if Fred is willing to do a big ol' post office trip without me (because I leave at 5AM tomorrow morning), all of those pre-sales sales might ship out this week! Otherwise, I’ll have them in the mail Monday if I make it home from Florida OK.

If you haven’t yet taken advantage of our family’s “we can’t believe this project is actually DONE” deals, please do so before the March 15 deadline:

GROOVY SALES ON TARA’S DVD SERIES

OK. Time to get packed now.

Hope you’re having a nice Wednesday!

(Oh—and BTW … I received a very gracious email from my “confrontational blog commenter” this morning, so that was great to hear from her, learn from her, and know that our little internet/blog relationship is OK.)

Grace abounds!

Hang in there–

Yours,
Tara B.

PS
If you’d like to sample some of the videos, Fred put a few clips online. Can you believe I’m wearing colors other than BLACK?? Cool/together/shirt-tucking ladies helped (i.e., “made”) me wear COLOR.

We’re not allowed to stay and watch the ballet class (otherwise, I think I would find it VERY hard to leave) ... so I usually get a good 30 minutes of errands in while the girls are in class.

Today? I hit the bank and the health food store ... and THEN I was almost hit. Seriously. INCHES.

I was just moseying along through the parking lot and someone (without, apparently, LOOKING behind them!) just GUNNED it out of a parking spot RIGHT INTO ME. Not “me” like “my car” ... but “me” as in ME. The bumper of her yellow sports car was INCHES from ME/my door/my open window.

Adrenaline is a powerful drug.
I’m still a little shaky.
Scary scary!

Thank God I wasn’t creamed.

(I wonder what the ballet class would’ve done if I didn’t show up hour after hour? Hmmmmm ... I hope they have Fred’s cell on file for emergency reasons.)

OK. Back to work. Two cute girls and a nice dog could use some cuddles and playing.
(OH! That was so scary.)

Hope your day is less “exciting.”
– t

(My maternal grandmother, Pearl Kroncke, used to doll Kali and I up for Easter. I have vivid and happy memories of matching blue & pink dresses, hats, gloves, purses, and shiny new white shoes. Guess that’s why I continue this tradition, eh? Hope these pics give you a little smile.)



BTW–although Sophia and our friend, Emma, were EXTREMELY well behaved the entire time getting the photos taken. (Emma was the official “director” of the “photo shoot.”) Don’t you think that it would be a LOT easier to get kids' pictures taken if we could do it without the kids?



Grace to you!

Love,
Tara B.

Just a quick note to respond to the confrontational comment recently left by someone ...

A quick response is, yes, yes, I’m sure I have more logs in my eyes than I can ever imagine. However, I do not believe redemptive/helpful confrontation is likely to take place “in public” via virtually anonymous comments left in a virtual stranger’s blog. (I’m assuming that you don’t actually know me beyond this blog.)

Thus, I deleted your comment.

However, I want to be sure that you (and everyone else) know that if you want to discuss a hard issue with me, you are welcome to contact me directly. Or, if you prefer, you are always welcome to address your concerns to my husband, Fred, and/or my pastor, Jason Barrie. (I did forward your comment on to them both to make sure that they know of your concerns with my parenting of Sophia.)

The internet is a strange thing, eh? I hope that this response is God-honoring and wise.

Happy Tuesday to you all! We did EASTER pictures today so if I have time after ballet, I’ll try to post some. Oh–that muffin tater, she’s growing up so fast.

Love to all,
Tara B.

OK. Seriously. I would do an INFOMERCIAL for this thing if I were asked ...

Do you guys know about THE FURMINATOR???

Because OH MY STARS!!! It is just the most amazing dog-hair-removal-thingy-EVER!!

My dear friend Nancy L. (also a GOLDEN LOVER!! Hi Sadie!!) told me about it and I immediately ordered one off of Amazon.

MONEY WELL SPENT!!!

We didn’t even think that Lilikoi was all that hairy! (Her coat is much “thinner”/ligher than our Choza’s.) But check out the hair that THE FURMINATOR removed in (no kidding!) MINUTES:



I just can’t even IMAGINE how much LESS HAIR there will now be on our living room pillows (that occasionally get drafted into duty as WALLS for forts/houses):



Thanks again, Nancy!

And hey! If you’re a Golden Retriever owner and would like to join our little “we love Goldens!” post on my blog, drop me an email with your dog’s pic and I’ll do another Golden lineup post.

(Yes, yes, I love you too–lab owners, mutt owners, even cat owners! But I’m only going to blog about Goldens or else I’d lose my readership FOR SURE.)

Happy Monday and love to you all,
Tara B.

PS
Hey! Our Choza video on YouTube is almost up to 32,000 hits! So fun.



PPS
Doesn’t that BAG OF DOG HAIR up above just TOTALLY gross you out if you’re one of those, “THAT’S why we don’t have a dog!!” people?

We had a great Sabbath today. It was a joy to be at Pastor Jason’s Grace-Based Marriage Sunday School Class. Corporate worship was wonderful–it is always so good to be called to worship, have the privilege of praying corporately, and be fed by the Word as it is both read and preached to us.

And a great afternoon followed a great morning ... we had a yummy meal, got to take a nap (!), spent time reading, singing, playing the piano; we laughed and laughed as we watched the kids choir practice for Easter; we even got Sophie’s Easter dress & hat & purse (still tracking down the little white gloves); ... and Sophie even got to stay up LATE as we donned our matching aprons and made some chocolate chip cookies (yum!) and had warm cookies and a big glass of cold milk after bath time.

So I was feeling pretty loved and domestic-diva-Tara-y at the end of the day as Soph and I cuddled in our chair doing catechism, reading the Bible, and then, finally, just lying there snuggling.

UNTIL.
UNTIL (!!)

Soph said this:

"Can I go cuddle with Daddy?"

Ouch.
Double ouch.

Yes, yes, rationally, it’s stupid to feel insulted or rejected by your four year-old asking to go cuddle with Daddy.

But I had been missing her over the weekend ...
and then I had put aside my NATURAL inclination to unpack, get organized, get orders ready, prep to turn around for Florida in TWO DAYS ...
so that I could, you know, try to serve and ENJOY my husband and my daughter.

("Like I’m SUPPOSED to do!!" yells some condemning voice inside of my head and heart.)

But there is grace for these moments, eh?

I did give Sophie to Fred (on the bed) and I said that her words made me feel sad and I left the room to try to figure out what I was feeling, think it through, pray, and prepare to talk with her about it.

I did feel sad. But I also wanted to HELP SOPHIE because I’m SURE she didn’t MEAN to hurt me. She just saw daddy on the bed and thought, “Cuddle with Daddy!” (And hey! Who wouldn’t want that?!? She’s a smart kid and she knows what’s GOOD in life. And cuddling with Fred is DEFINITELY the good stuff in life.)

So I prayed.
And I could hear Fred talking with Sophie too.
And I came back to them both and we talked as a family.

- We helped Sophie to understand that when she just asked to cuddle with daddy without saying anything loving or grateful to mommy–especially after all of the special things mommy had done to bless Sophie that day, it was hurtful to mommy.

- We asked Sophie what SHE had been thinking and feeling and she admitted that she didn’t MEAN to hurt me. That all she was thinking about was that it would be nice to cuddle with daddy. And REALLY, if she had thought about it a little more, what she REALLY wanted was to cuddle with BOTH OF US. Family cuddle. With Lili’s nose over the edge of our bed. (That really IS the best!)

- Fred reminded her of Proverbs 12:18 ("Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing") and explained how even though she didn’t MEAN to hurt me, her words were reckless because she was thoughtless ... she didn’t STOP and THINK before she spoke.

- Sophie asked me to forgive her (which I did). And she asked if we could all cuddle as a family (which we did).

And I asked her permission to share this story with you, because, well, I’m guessing that sometimes your kids hurt you too. And certain days? We can be more easily hurt than others.

But there is always grace for the day!
Grace for the moment!

Grace makes a way so that I didn’t have to be “wounded” by Sophie and she didn’t have to be left feeling “trapped” in her sin or estranged from me.

We could both grow and repent and love and forgive. Because that’s what people do in relationships. Well, that’s what people do in relationships that they don’t want to become embittered and miserable and distant.

Grace to you!
Grace upon grace!

"What God ordains is always good:
He never will deceive me;
He leads me in his own right way,
And never will he leave me.

I take content what he has sent;
His hand that sends me sadness
Will turn my life to gladness."

Sweet dreams, my friends!

With love,
Tara B.

Well ... it’s a good thing that I just had the JOY of spending time with some WONDERFUL women in Kansas and, in particular, that we spent some time considering our propensity to FEAR MAN more than we FEAR GOD (Prov. 29:25) ...

Because, WOW! But was I just DISSED by a group of uppity businessmen here at the NWA Worldclub in Minneapolis. (I fly so much that Fred has generously gotten me a membership so that I can have a quiet place to work in between connections–oh, and FREE WIFI TOO! )

Anyway ... I had forgotten to look at the little sign by the door to see what today’s WIFI password was so I leaned over the divider to a group of yuppy-time-businessmen who were all on laptops and politely asked, “Excuse me, but could you please tell me the password for today?”

This is a normal thing in the worldclub and definitely a question I’ve been asked like, oh, say, a ZILLION times.

But they were very uppity/proud and actually laughed at me as they said, “We don’t know it.” It was so weird. Like a bad dream where you flash back to being made fun of by the “cool kids” in high school.

But here’s the good news ... of all the things in the WORLD I care about, the respect of rude men in the MSP worldclub is just SO NOT EVEN ON MY LIST.

I just walked back to the door, got the password, and preceded to get some more work done.

I’m off for my flight home to BIL in just a few minutes! Oh, I’m am SO SO SO happy that (Lord willing!), I’ll be home TONIGHT and able to go to CHURCH tomorrow. To quote Sophie:

"It’s SUNDAY! The BEST day of the week!!"

Amen!

I hope you’re all tucked happily into your own beds, resting well, preparing for a God-centered, refreshing Sabbath ... OH ... and not caring AT ALL what rude people think of you.

Life is just way too short.

Love ya lots and thanks for a wonderful weekend, Kansas ladies!

Yours,
Tara B.

A great read by Dr. Paul Tripp:

Created for Community

Hope you enjoy!

I should be back in wi-fi range tonight and maybe even sleeping in my own bed if I make my flights.

Hope you’re enjoying a lovely weekend!

Yours,
Tara B.

My last view of Sophia Grace & Lilikoi as they headed out the door to show her dolly at show & tell:



Sweetness! Cuddle-bug muffin lovie bear SWEETNESS.
Thank God for the gift of children.

Blessings to you from Kansas!

Love ya,
Tara B.

Tonight will be the first time that I carry a new book on my women’s retreat resource table:

When Sinners Say “I Do”–Discovering the Power of the Gospel for Marriage

This topic is always heavy on my heart at every event I do because whenever I teach on peacemaking, I have the privilege of interacting with women who are struggling in their marriages.

I am also thinking and praying and talking about this topic a lot because I am trying to serve and encourage my pastor, Jason Barrie, as he prepares and delivers his current Sunday School Series:

Grace-Based Marriage

In his studies for this class, Pastor Jason has read pretty much every book on the topics related to Christian marriage (growing a stronger marriage / learning to love/respect your spouse / how to build a divorce-proof marriage / being a good wife / being a good husband / etc. etc. etc. ETC.)

Some of these books have sold MILLIONS AND MILLIONS of copies. One, in particular, had us just CRINGING as he showed me how there were 22 chapters about how the wife should do THIS (with Scripture citation after Scripture citations) and how the husband should do THAT (with Bible verse after Bible verse); 22 chapters of really good IDEAS ... helpful things that will, you know, probably make a nice difference in their relationship (better communication, romantic ideas for keeping eros alive, wise recommendations regarding parenting/money/whatever).

BUT ...

The book closes with good ol' chapter 23. Probably the shortest chapter in the book. Mentioned at the end of the book as some sort of concluding thought:

And oh yeah ... WHY do we DO all this stuff? Right. There IS a God and He is the REASON why we DO all this stuff. The end.

If I hadn’t been gasping in air, I might’ve cried out loud.

All of the good ideas in the WORLD will never help my friend who is SUFFERING in her marriage to a rage-filled, selfish, emotionally distant, treats everyone in the world better than her, looks so good on the outside but is a consistent HORRIBLE JERK of a husband to her! You can tell her a ZILLION times “he needs your respect and care”; you need to honor and enjoy him. But it’s like asking a blind man to just wake up one morning and CHOOSE to SEE! It’s never going to happen. She doesn’t have it in her! She could no more love that man than she could jump to the moon.

And what about the husband? A Christian man can be REALLY committed to marriage and he can try and try and TRY to love his wife ... but if she habitually and repeatedly, publicly and privately disdains, shames, and rejects him; if everyone else in the entire WORLD is more pleasant for him to be around; if his hobbies (or even MINISTRY GOALS) are pleasant, fun, encouraging, affirming to him ... he is NEVER going to be able to “dig deep” and “find it within himself” to just CHOOSE to love his wife.

Like all of us, his selfish heart will choose to love HIMSELF. He will avoid the things that are uncomfortable for him (like interacting with his wife) and be drawn over and over again to the things that are affirming and pleasant for him (like watching sports, playing with his grandchildren, or serving at the church).

Of course he will!
Why wouldn’t he?

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh .... there it is. The $64,000 question (showing my age there aren’t, I?).

Why would anyone EVER choose to suffer? To lay down their life, pick up their cross, and love unloveable, unlovely, even HORRIBLE people?

There can be only one explanation: God.

But you see ... slapping this idea of “oh, yeah, there’s a God and we DO all this stuff for HIM” into the last chapter of our book means that we’ve missed it ALL.

Again, “The Gospel” is something “Out There” for non-Christians to hear and respond to and “Get Saved.” But then???? Here are a bunch of rules and good ideas and helpful tips for living a “good life”. Welcome to Christianity.

NO!
NO!!
NO!!!

The very Son of God, eternal before all ages, became incarnate so that He could live the life we can never live; suffer the suffering we deserve; die in our place; and be raised again to life FOR THE HOPE AND ASSURANCE OF OUR SALVATION.

As we begin to catch even the teeniest-tiniest GLIMMER of how wretched the blackness of our sin is? If we could glimpse even one millionth of an IOTA of the pure radiance of the glory of God? By grace ... if we could, in that moment that God is calling us to interact with that person who has HURT US FOR YEARS AND YEARS ... if we could remember even just ONE TRUE THING about how great God is and how lost we are apart from Him and how, really, we are just like the person standing before us (as she maligns, criticizes, is passively aggressive, judgmental, critical, MEAN. Again.).

And if there is ANYTHING good in us, it is merely CHRIST in us.

Oh, and by the way, all of this suffering WILL be over one day. One soon day, actually. Even if we live 80, 90, 110 years ... it’s a BLINK. Then it’s over. And we never again have the opportunity to show forbearance and grace toward another sinner, because sin will be gone. Forever.

In Heaven, we will never again have the opportunity to do good to someone who does evil to us–because evil will be done. Forever.

In Heaven, our opportunity to share in the sufferings of our Brother, Jesus, will come to a final, complete, CLOSE.

So, in this life? May we remember–how great is our God!
This life is not our own!
Yay, though He slay me–I will trust in Him.
If this relationship is my slaying, then please, God ... help me to suffer well. Love well. GET HELP from others within the Church. (The “abundant resources”, the “present means of grace”.)

(Of course I’m completely convicted even as I type this–not so much about my marriage, but just about a really, really difficult relationship in my life that I continue to struggle with.)

May God have mercy on us all! And help us.
(He does! He does!)

Happy Friday to you!
I’m going offline for a couple of days to serve at this retreat.

Sending you love,
Tara B.

Wow. Don’t miss this read over at byFaith Magazine:

The Session and Women’s Ministry

It’s long–but worth the read.

I’ll tempt you with just a few excerpts:

- How do elders approach women in ministry in their congregations? “Men are afraid of women. We’re often content to be at arms’ length from them.” A prominent PCA pastor says it simply. His candid comments slice through the familiar rhetoric and hedging inherent in modern-day discussions of male-female relationships, compressing the ambiguity into a hard truth.

... The unease between elders and women’s ministries is not always active. Instead, it can be a function of disconnection. “While there are isolated examples of abuse in this relationship, usually it’s much more subtle,” said Jane Patete, women’s ministries coordinator for the PCA’s Christian Education and Publications (CE&P) Committee. “It’s benign neglect.”

... (quoting Rev. Dr. Ligon Duncan) “I would encourage women not to be utterly crushed if the church lets them down ... we haven’t done the best job in this area, and so we need to prayerfully wait on the Lord, as in all areas of growth, being patient and not embittered.”

Amen and amen!

Our leaders are in progress too!
And they need grace just as much as we do.

Let’s not give up on them, OK?

Sending you love from MSP,
Tara B.

HT to Pastor JollyBlogger for posting this video by Derek Webb!

I’m listening to Sara Groves en route to Kansas—thanks to everyone who encouraged me to try her out! (And another HT to RadicalWomanhood for initially pointing me in her direction. You know, I have never read anything from RadicalWomanhood that hasn’t blessed, challenged, encouraged, rebuked, comforted … BLESSED me. Thank God for Carolyn McCulley!)

Speaking of …

Did you read her post yesterday? I CRINGED. I gasped. I got scary goose bumps from my neck to the tips of my fingers as I thought of the HORRIBLENESS of watching my newborn / toddler grow up OVER THE INTERNET because I was tied to my computer/job and away from her for ten hours a day.

Oh, but for the grace of God … that WOULD’VE been ME!! I could’ve SO EASILY been caught up in the golden handcuffs of practicing law fulltime, rushing for the next career level/salary goal, bigger house, FOUR DOOR CAR (still a temptation ).

But … honestly? The part that made me FREAK OUT wasn’t that it WASN’T me; it was the extent to which it IS me. Right now. Today.

Not so much the “watching a YouTube of the variety show because I am out of town” stuff. I really have a sweet quietness and confidence regarding when I travel to serve—Fred, Sophie and I really talk and pray about these opportunities. We share openly about how we prefer to be together, but how it is good to serve even when serving entails sacrifice. So although I may be tempted (at times) to cringe as I miss a violin hoe down or ballet recital, I know that those things are just part of our season of life right now.

But I was goosebumped and teary-eyed as I thought of all of the “normal” times that I am AT HOME but either rushing around paying bills, straightening the bathroom shelves, doing laundry, staying on top of emails and organizing paperwork (all good things, of course!) … but how much time I am HOME with Sophie and yet not truly PRESENT with her!

(Please don’t misunderstand me … I know that a home is not to be child-centered. And it’s great that Sophie can self-entertain for hours and doesn’t “need” parental distraction to be happy. But but but … how much do I just SLOW DOWN and ENJOY her? Help her? Train her?)

I really could not IMAGINE any other response to Carolyn’s post yesterday other than to PRAY (“Please, God, help me to make the main thing the main thing in my day. Please help me to NOT let the urgent crowd out the important!”) and then to get down on the floor with Soph and do some mosaics, color, play math/reading games, and DANCE DANCE DANCE. Oh, that kid can dance! She’s so dramatic—it’s a stitch.

(Interspersed with packing for this trip? Sure. Cleaning and emailing? A little bit, yes. Such is the life of a mom.)

But I was much more intentional with Sophie yesterday thanks to YOU, Carolyn, and your continued ministry through your blog. Thank you!

And thank You, God, for the privilege of being Momma to a loving child who rushes down the stairs to the backdoor when Lili rings to go out (“Coming, Lili! Coming, sweetheart! Here you go, little Arfie.”); who squeals when Fred’s truck pulls into the driveway (“Dadddddddeeeeeeee! Daddy’s home!”); who likes to hold my hand when we drive (one of the benefits of having a compact car … we can reach even when she’s in the back seat in her carseat ); who loves to “shnuggle-b’duggle” and fall asleep in my arms during small group.

Please, Lord, please help me to be diligent in my primary duties to serve You, Fred, Sophie, and our church. For Your glory. In gratitude for how You made me and always take care of me. Amen.

Blessed Thursday to you!

With love,
Tara B.

(I decided to put this up in a real post rather than having a REALLY long comment response.)

Thanks for the encouragement, Donna! I truly appreciate you taking the time to write AND I have prayed for you today re: your struggles with food/being overweight. It is such a hard area of life for so many of us! (And not just women—I have prayed for and been helped by godly men who struggle too.)

Re: your questions as to HOW I’ve lost weight, I really don’t have any cool insights or ideas. I’m the typical “everything you read about weight loss is true” kind of gal:

1. Address the heart: Since the problem isn’t the food or behavior, the problem is my HEART, then the solution must be Christ. So what does that look like? Well … continual growth in grace through private devotions and worship, but also not neglecting corporate worship (preaching, prayer, worship, communion); also intentionally seeking out friendship and wise counsel that includes both acceptance/mercy AND confrontation/accountability. I forget Christ—but His present means of grace (His Spirit inside of me; His Word; His Church) remind me of the gospel and point me back to Him.

2. Drink more water (and stop drinking soda!): This is a hard one for me because I really really REALLY like soda. Especially “real” (full sugar, full caffeine, full throttle) pop; but I like diet soda too. Still … our bodies do best with water AND a lot of the time when we’re tempted to comfort ourselves with food because we THINK we’re hungry, we’re actually THIRSTY. A big glass of cold water? (Or a bottle of water with an Emergen-C or Airborne in it?) Yum! And good for you too.

3. Get moving! Yes, yes yes … exercise helps. Not just to burn off excess fat but to FEEL BETTER (especially for those of us who struggle with depression/a propensity to melancholy). I have found that trying to get OUTSIDE and breathe some nice FRESH AIR and get SUNLIGHT is great—even just 15 or 20 minutes. But really? I lose weight best when I go to the gym every morning and do my “45 minutes on the elliptical machine while watching a t.v. show on my portable dvd player.” It doesn’t feel like work even though I’m sweating so I KNOW I’m working because it’s so FUN to get to watch something I really like. I lose myself in it and the time flies by. Plus, I avoid all of the icky rock music of the gym by my noise-canceling earphones and the dvd of what I want to watch.

4. Quit the sugar fix! Again, another hard one for me. But I find that if I don’t limit sugar, then I just keep gaining weight! So I try to “do as I say” (this is what we tell Sophie all the time) ... and “enjoy sugar in moderation.”

5. Avoid deep-fried foods: Again, no rocket-science here ... but when I eat stuff that I know is really bad for me (deep-friend cheese sticks! Yum!), I don’t lose weight and usually I GAIN weight.

6. Wear pants with waistbands! I know this may sound silly/dumb, but I really think that when I moved into those stretchy black pants, I just kept gaining and gaining and ended up at a weight that I NEVER would’ve EVER thought I’d be at! But if I couldn’t fit in my clothes earlier on, that MIGHT have helped me (even just a tiny bit) with those whole battle.

So that’s what comes to mind. No magic pill! But it is a grace to even be engaged in the battle.

I still have a long way to go before I’m a healthy weight again! But one day, one eating decision at a time. And grateful (not condemning!) thoughts for even tiny steps of progress.

Happy Wednesday to you all and g'nite!

Yours,
Tara B.

The other day, I realized that I haven’t been posting that many blogs on my (continual) battles of faith’s fight against sin regarding overeating/gluttony/idolatry of food.

I wonder if some of you MAY be thinking, “Hmmmmmmmmm ... Tara’s not blogging re: food. I hope she’s not giving in to her temptations and going ‘round the ol’ bend of licentiousness (and thus, adding on the pounds again!).”

If so ... I do have good news for you ... it’s actually been a fairly sweet season of continual growth in this area. (And I mean growth in grace, NOT growth in pants size.)

- I’ve held pretty consistent at my “minus 55 pounds” weight for awhile now.
- I’m mortified when I (have to!) see myself in my video series. (BLECH! Not a healthy/God-honoring weight for me.)
- And big news! I wore JEANS today.

I have to say ... it wasn’t the most comfortable day I’ve ever had. Stretchy black pants are SOOOO much easier to wear! But it WAS a good day to have a tangible reminder of God’s grace because these jeans are (literally!) five sizes smaller than the ones I wore at my highest weight.

(Yes, yes ... I think I’m still a good 15 pounds away from them actually being COMFORTABLE. But still. Progress is progress and I AM grateful.)

I’ll tell you, one of the most helpful aspects of this battle for me has been GETTING HELP within the Body.

- I’ve been encouraged by some email buds.
- I have three friends here in Billings that also struggle in this area and we’ve committed to weekly accountability and regular prayer for one another.
- And Fred has been doing great being more intentional about actually asking me about this area and encouraging me too.

All in all, I’d say that I’m still a good 45 pounds away from a healthy weight where I can most effectively serve God and others.

(And of course the temptation to get caught up in a certain size or weight–and just turn from one idol to a different idol!–is always there. Probably will be with me my entire life until Glory.)

But I am grateful to God and to my friends who are helping me. And just so you know ... I do pray for every single reader of this blog who struggles with food too.

We know food isn’t the problem!
(The problem is our hearts!)

But praise be to God! He has made a way for our hearts to be justified AND sanctified.
What a God! What a Savior!

Jesus is sweeter than the sweetest of food.

Blessings to you!

Yours,
Tara B.

I made it home just after midnight Sunday night. (2AM for my little east coast bod! Boy, was I tired.)

We had sat on the RUNWAY for over TWO HOURS in Minneapolis and the snow and winds were HARSH. I started to get antsy (thinking, “there is NO WAY I’m going to make it home tonight! airport hotel for me!”), but really TRIED to keep a content and grateful attitude.

One thing I was grateful for was the fact that two minutes before I boarded, I bought a BIG bottle of water. (I would’ve been SO parched without it!)

Monday was a nice combination of work & rest; cleaning through the piles that inevitably arise when Momma’s away for a few days & just cuddling and hanging with Fred and Sophie.

Sophie did tell me a sweet story when we were cuddling at the end of the day and I thought it might make you smile too:

"I dreamed that Jesus took my hand and we were flying in the sky. And then you were there, too, Momma. And Daddy took a hand and then LILI took a hand. And we were all holding hands and flying in the sky. And Lilikoi had ALL of her toys on top of her back. That was the end."

Fun! Soph’s a “flyer” too.

(Did you know that only certain people have dreams where they FLY? I’m a flyer but my sister isn’t. But “her Fred” is a flyer too.)

Off to bed now!
Blessings on your dreams!

Love,
Tara B.

Our little fiddlers did a great job at our church’s variety show last night!

Fred was faithful to YouTube me a video and I even got to webcam with them really late and hear all about it:



Thank you, Miss Laura, for being the world’s best violin teacher!!

And hooray I, T, S & Sophia for fiddlin' and blessing us all.

I have one more session to teach this morning and then I’ll start the long trek to home.

Hopin' to be sleepin' in my own bed tonight!

With joy,
Tara B.

PS
If you’d like to see Soph & S doing their little hoe down last year, here is the church variety show when Sophia had just turned three. (Don’t you love how the camera jiggles because Fred is laughing? )

A good read over at Pastor JollyBlogger.

(Sounds like Mr. Mann and my "Grandpa Bernie" would be buds, doesn’t it?)

Grace grace grace!
And the legacy of a life well lived.

Thanks, Pastor JollyBlogger!
(And thank You, God, for men like Mr. Mann. Please comfort his family as they grieve their loss.)

Yours,
Tara B.

Fred was praying for me the other night and he prayed that, in particular, I would have a merciful heart toward a certain person who treats me very badly.

As he prayed, I was stuck by how easy it was for me to have a hard heart toward this person. I think, “She is just SO proud! She sneers at me and judges me and obviously thinks I’m stupid / boring / ugly / worthy only of rejection.”

And then, somehow, I give myself “permission” to, well, NOT LIKE HER.
Or–if I’m feeling particularly “Christian”–to “love her” but PULL BACK FROM HER and keep her at arm’s length.

When Fred was praying for me, though, I was cut the quick with how guilty I was of the very things my HEART was accusing her of!(Oooooooooooooh! We really ARE a wretched lot, aren’t we?)

So I am praying right now that God will help me to put HER struggle in the context of MY struggle. Because whenever I do that for ANY person, I am reminded of just how messed up I am, how desperate I am for grace ... and how I am JUST LIKE HER.

My only beauty? Christ.
My only hope? Christ.

This helps me to persevere and really pray for the other person and really strive to love her well.

Thank God for His mercies!
And for husbands (and friends) who love us enough to a) tell us the truth; b) never reject us; and c) PRAY FOR US.

Resting in Christ alone!

With love from Pennsylvania,
Tara B.

NO complaints. Truly! I have a wonderful life and our family counts it a PRIVILEGE to serve. 100%.

But sometimes our family’s opportunities to serve others means that Momma Tara misses some precious things on the home front.

Like this weekend. Not only did I miss Lili’s first birthday on Valentine’s Day (Fred wasn’t too hip to make a heart-shaped doggie cake or whatever), tomorrow I will miss Sophia’s little contribution to our church’s variety show.

She’s known all along that I would not be there and she seems OK with it.
But I will miss her.

SO ... on Wednesday, I took a video of her at her violin lesson:



... AND some photos of her little “fiddling group” at their rehearsal that night:



Hope they give you a smile as you start your Friday!

Happily ensconced in Pennsylvania,
Tara B.

I was thinking about my Grandpa Bernie the other day. (He wasn’t my “real” grandpa ... just a dear, dear friend from my college days. He and his bride of 53 years–"Grandma Doris"–befriended me when I desperately needed godly friends.)

Bernie and I remained special pals as Doris died, and then when Bernie fell in love with his second beloved wife, Helen. All that happened at the exact time Fred and I were falling in love. (After Doris’s death and before he met Helen, Bernie used to tell Fred, “If I were 50 years younger, I’d be giving you a run for your money.” And Fred would respond, “Yes, sir!”)

ANYWAY ... I was thinking about how Bernie was really my first close friend to die of, well, just being old. He grew weaker, lost his hearing, lost his freedom of movement, lost control of his body, and he died.

Yes, he left quite a legacy of godliness! He has lots of real children and real grandchildren to carry on his heritage. But I will always have a special place tucked in my heart for him.

I still smile when I think about how he ALWAYS beat me at Othello and I ALWAYS beat him at double solitaire. We cheered Michael Jordan’s Bulls on while eating Whitey’s ice cream. We laughed. We cried. I teased him about “burning that wood down there!” (He made incredible wood carvings; the cross that greets you in our home was carved by him for me.)

(Did you know that wood carving smells like wood BURNING? Oh, he would laugh and laugh at me.)

Bernard Vogelaar was a true friend to me.

At a time in my life when I was tempted to be drawn to the things of the world, instead I had this solid, gentle, 76 year-old testimony to God’s grace as ministered through a faithful man of God. Imperfect, for sure! But he loved God. He loved his wife and children. He served his church faithfully. He gave generously. He excelled in his work. And he didn’t give up on ME when I just have to imagine I wasn’t always the easiest 23 year old to be around.

I was drawn to God because I was drawn through this man and the testimony of his life.

It is SO HARD to die! Even for a Christian. Decay and decline; dependency and cost; the unknown and the pain ... it is all so hard!

But God is with us in it and one day, the suffering will end. Amen and Amen. It will end and then we can go home.

Thank you to all of the godly men and women who have reached out to me over the years. Thank you for helping me! Thank you for pointing me to Christ. Thank you for showing me a life that I DID want to strive after–a life with an ETERNAL FOCUS that is NOT caught up in the things of this world. But a life lived for Christ. A life that matters.

Guess I was thinking about all that today when I saw this on MilitaryMotivator (HT!):



So whether I eat or drink
live or die
accomplish something or accomplish nothing
fail, succeed, just lope along
... may I do whatever I do FOR YOU, God.

Not for myself. Not to please others. But love you, God, and love the neighbors you put into my life.
This is my prayer. Amen and Amen.

Signing off exhaustedly but with a grateful, happy heart–

Your friend,
Tara B.

Sophia and I have a little understanding concerning the repentance, confession, and forgiveness we experience during out days alone at home together.

She and I both know that when we say, “I forgive you,” we mean it. The “Four Promises of Forgiveness” (especially the Young Peacemaker Four Promises!) apply:

- Good thought
- Hurt you not
- Gossip? Never!
- Friends forever.

When we forgive one another, it is done. Finished. Covered.

Just as when God forgives us and removes our transgression as far as the East is from the West; and just as, when we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and purity us from all unrighteousness …

When we forgive each other, it is done.

BUT We do have a little “exception.” We both understand that, at the end of the day, it might be wise to let daddy know what happened during the day …

- NOT because we’re not forgiven.
- NOT because we need to “dredge” things up from the past.

But simply because by lettering daddy know what we are struggling with, he can pray for us and counsel us and help us.

Now, I have to say … usually these little “exceptions so that we can talk to dad at the end of the day” apply to Sophia.

BUT BUT BUT …

Sometimes they apply to ME. Like yesterday … Sophie had done something REALLY REALLY gross and in a moment of sinful frustration and anger, I said, “You are disgusting!”

Of course, I knew INSTANTLY that I NEVER should say anything even CLOSE to that to my beloved daughter and I immediately pulled her close and specifically apologized.

I told her that I should NEVER say that SHE is disgusting because she is PRECIOUS. It’s just that she did a disgusting THING. And we have to deal with the thing she did … but she is, most definitely, NOT disgusting. She is wonderful and beautiful and precious and LOVED.

I asked her forgiveness and she was quick to forgive me. (She did explain, appropriately, that it REALLY hurt her when I said those words. OH OH OH! Cut my heart!!) But she also was (as usual) so quick to forgive me. Fully and sweetly and GRACIOUSLY! Oh! how grateful I am that I can be forgiven both by God and my daughter.

Still … at the end of the day as we headed into our family devotion time, Sophie (appropriately) asked if we could share about what happened so that daddy could pray for both of us. (I was so ashamed!! But so glad, too, that we could be HONEST with each other and ask God to forgive us and TRUST in God’s forgiveness through Christ.)

And that is exactly what we did.

“For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him.” Psalm 103:11-13

Thank You, God, for making a way for me to be forgiven.

Thank you, Sophia, for being honest about the hurt I caused you. AND for forgiving me. AND for asking for daddy’s help too. Well done, dear four-year-old daughter!!

And thank you, Fred, for not rejecting me, even when you see my sin and immaturity slop out all over the place (and even onto our beloved daughter!!). I could never merit such a kind, gracious, compassionate, and forgiving husband. I love you so much!! Thank you for so thoroughly reflecting the compassion and graciousness of God that it makes it that much more “real” for me to rest in God’s grace as well.

I love you, dearest darling Fred!
Happy Valentine’s Day to my Beloved Fred!

(And Happy Birthday, Lilikoi! Our one-year-old Golden Retreiver no-longer-a-puppy! You have brought many giggles and smiles and much warmth to our home and we thank God for you.)

Love to all from some airport in some state en route to the east coast!

Yours happily,
Tara B.

Much to do today (hooray! no fever!) ...

But I did a little blog to blog walk and found this convicting read over at “Christ is deeper still.”

There, a pastor writes:

"My dad died this year. I think about him a lot. I drew strength from his love. I miss him.

As a kid growing up, I didn’t need an alarm clock most mornings. I woke up to the sound of my dad, down the hallway, singing in the shower. Every morning he sang heartily, cheerfully, with zero irritation to me, this hymn:

When morning gilds the skies
My heart awaking cries
May Jesus Christ be praised
Alike at work or prayer
To Jesus I repair
May Jesus Christ be praised

I never wondered about my dad. Never once. Never. I knew where he stood. Unlike so many others, he was not hard to read. He did not take a wait-and-see, keep-a-low-profile, play-it-safe approach to life. Jesus was too real and wonderful to him. He praised the Lord openly throughout the whole of his life, public and private. What a man!

I want to be unmistakably easy to read, beginning with my dear family."

I was SO convicted.

My family so often DOES see where I stand and SINFULLY, so often I stand squarely for ME. My comfort. My pleasures.

Oh oh oh! May God have mercy on my soul.
(I know He does.)

To Jesus I repair

Blessed Wednesday to you!

Love,
Tara B.

"Would you like to go upstairs and take a little nap, dear?"

“No thanks, Momma. I’m not sleepy.”

(Famous last words.)

For two days running, Sophie has made the same observation during our Bible reading time:

"That’s just like my catechism, Momma!"

Yesterday we were reading about God’s creation and how He cares for all He has made. Sophie said, “That’s just like the question ‘Who made you?’ 'God!'”

Spot on, dear four year-old!

And today our psalm talked about “Who among the gods is like You, O Lord?” And Soph said, “That reminds me of the question, ‘Is there more than One True God?’ 'No! There is only ONE True God.'”

Spot on, again, lovie-bear!

I told her that is EXACTLY why we do catechism with her every day ... so that she can learn and remember these important truths as revealed in Holy Scripture.

(I just didn’t expect her to start making these conclusions and analogies already! I figured we’d be in “just memorize it” mode for a long time yet. But no! Little paths of “Ah-hah’s!” are showing up in her preschooler brain–and hopefully HEART.)

SO great!
I LOVE catechism!



Happy Tuesday–
Tara B.

OK. OK. I just found out that I have to stop entertaining the "what if we never even sell ONE copy of this silly ol' DVD Series" thoughts because one GROOVY hubby just bought a copy for his GROOVY wifey and we just had our first official sale!!

Oh, oh, oh! How I pray that women will be ENCOURAGED through this project.
How I pray that Christ will be lifted UP!

Happily and hopefully,
Tara B.

I know ... I know ...

It might be hard to believe, but truly! My DVD series is available for pre-sale orders!!

Living the Gospel in Relationships

I’m hoping to put out a “please buy me” email in the next couple of days. (As soon as my fever drops below 101.6!)

But if YOU would like to take advantage of a screamin' deal ... we’re offering two

VERY SPECIAL PRE-SALE DEALS

Please check them out!

And please oh-pretty-PLEASE let me know if the “deals” don’t make sense!

And/or if you have any suggestions for improving the resources page of my website. (Our family is REALLY stretching to come up with the $$$ to reproduce the discs and study guide, so we’d really appreciate any advice you might give us to help us be the best stewards of this project.)

Happy, happy Tuesday to you!

With joy,
Tara B.

Sophie and I are still battling the bug. She is a boogy making machine and I am fevered and WEAK.

But there are many sweet moments in our sick-at-home state.

For example ... a few minutes ago, Sophie came and told me that she would really like to make cards for “the ministries” (her term for where daddy works–i.e., Peacemaker Ministries) and for “the military men” (because we pray for our troops!), and the NUNS (from “The Sound of Music”!) too.

(We watched The Sound of Music for the first time this weekend and she LOVED it and I was SOOOOOO happy that she did.)

My oh my but that kid can make even a tired Momma smile.

Hope your Monday is off to a groovy start!

Yours,
Tara B.

HT: Pastor Anyabwile for pointing me in the direction of this post and the (MANY!) comments that have already followed it in only a few days.

Some of you may remember that Fred has taught on the topic of “Worship Wars” at past Peacemaker Conferences. And of course, as a Christian conciliator who has served on conflicted church intervention teams–and believe you me, MUSIC MATTERS–I just have to say ...

Yikes!

Against Music*

(Don’t you just LOVE the posts that are humble and gracious!?!)

May God help us to seek HIS face and the true unity that reflect the Trinity!

Yours,
Tara B.

Another absolute must read (and WATCH! don’t skip the video!) over at RadicalWomanhood.

The post quotes Sara Groves after a recent trip to Rwanda:

"I found myself asking, ‘How have I applied this idea?' I had groomed and groomed and groomed my personal faith, but to what end?”

Good question.

I think I’m going to learn more about this musician. (Do you already know her music?)

Blessed Monday to you all–
Tara B.

Well ... thank the good Lord, I was able to drag my 101 degreed-body to church this morning and serve Pastor Jason in his Grace-Based Marriage Sunday School Class.

During the class, I role-played a very hurt, angry, bitter wife who was suffering greatly in marriage.

I was really a conglomeration of all of the women that Pastor Jason and I have ever served as Christian conciliators in marriage mediation cases. It wasn’t hard to relate to their suffering and anger! But I think that my intensity may have some people in my church scared for POOR FRED.

Ahhhhh ... how did I respond to the “we need to pray for FRED” comments that were made after I role-played an angry woman? I said, “It’s far worse than you could ever imagine.”

Of course, blessedly, Fred and I actually have a very happy, intimate marriage. But though we may not struggle in THAT area, our hearts are blacker than the blackest heart and we are truly desperate for grace.

So I’m trying not to take the “we need to pray for FRED” comments too personally. More of an affirmation that I should be on the stage or something, right?

(Yeah, right.)

ANYWAY ... the REAL reason I’m writing this is to tell you that this ENTIRE CLASS on GRACE-BASED MARRIAGE is being put up on our church’s website! I TRULY urge you to click on through and encourage others (especially people preparing for marriage, or wanting to grow a more intimate, God-centered marriage, or suffering in a horrible marriage) to click through too.

Rocky Mountain Community Church

Then just scroll down to the GRACE BASED MARRIAGE SUNDAY SCHOOL links on the right-hand side of the page.

Hope you are enjoying a wonderful Sabbath! I’m going back to bed.

Love ya,
Tara B.

OK. Seven hours left in our big GIVEAWAY.

Only FIVE people have emailed me so unless I hear from other people before midnight, those five ladies are going to pretty much have their pick of the litter (i.e., whatever I have down in my basement ).

I’m sure I won’t be up at midnight, though, since my fever is staying at 101 even on Tylenol every four hours. I feel GROSS.

Please pray for me that I will have the strength to get out of bed tomorrow, get dressed, and serve my pastor well at his Sunday school class on marriage. He’s asked me to role-play as the angry, bitter wife (whose “wanter” is not being met) and I REALLY want to serve him (and his class!) well. But right now I’m having a hard time sitting upright and my eyes are ON FIRE.

Ahhhh–fevers. When I was a kid I distinctly remember being rushed to the Emergency Room and plunged into ICE WATER with more ICE being poured on me because my fevers would go into the 105/106 range. So there should be no complaints with 101, right? Guess I’m feeling whiny too.

Hope YOU are enjoying a lovely Saturday!

Yours feveredly,
Tara B.

Just discovered Professor Peter Enn’s blog and I’d like to direct you to a specific article:

A Small, Practical Comment on Biblical Theology

It is definitely worth the read.

I’ll tempt you with the very last three sentences of the essay:

"At any rate, a young girl is dying. We all have so many chances to minister God’s love to people every day, if we just take the time to look around. And what we say, if given the opportunity, will reflect God’s story to the extent that we ourselves are captured by it."

To the extent that we ourselves are captured by it.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

A friend signed off an email to me this week:

"Praying you are still stunned by the gospel"

What a great reminder.

I pray that I am captured by the gospel. Stunned by the gospel. (Even in my fevered state. )

And I pray this for you too.

Hang in there, friends!
God is with us and He is mighty to save.

Happily and hopefully,
Tara B.

Like an old episode of Star Trek ... I think the SophieVirus has officially jumped to the Mothership and MAN! I’m wiped. I can barely lift my arms above my head or walk up a flight of stairs.

(Oooh! Now THAT’S like the scene in the Little House on the Prairie books when everyone was so sick and fevered and would’ve DIED if ... what was his name???? Mr. Edwards???? ... hadn’t come and nursed them to health.)

We are NO WHERE NEAR that level of sick, of course. Just tired and dealing with a ZILLION tissues and Aquaphoring the red, raw nose of a glazy-eyed preschooler. Poor kid.

I’m just so glad that her illness hit when I was HOME! I am so happy to be here to hold her and pray for her and comfort her. When her fever cycles down, we read and read. When we’re both zoning, she watches videos. We are blessed.

(Interestingly, I’m finding it VERY hard to not give in to my same-old battle re: gluttony / habitual idol of turning to food for comfort. I think that being TIRED and not feeling well is a big red flag for me that I need to be particularly diligent in faith’s fight against sin in this area.)

One of the books we’ve been reading together is A is for Abigail: An Almanac of Amazing American Women. Have you read this book by Lynne Cheney (yes, Vice-President Dick Cheney’s wife)? I like so many parts of it–but it brings up big questions in my heart and mind re: biblical womanhood ... especially how to raise Sophia to love God most of all, and then to love her neighbor, and if her closest neighbor is her husband–then to delight in serving him and ditto for their children and their church. BUT ALSO ... how to consider how God might be raising her up to be a physicist or astronaut or translator?

I guess it comes down to reminding her at all times that THIS LIFE IS NOT OUR HOME and we do WHATEVER we do for one reason: God’s glory. Eternity. Things that matter.

God will guard her heart and help her to put every decision through the grid of an eternal perspective that seeks to love God and love neighbor; to not be caught up in the things of this world; to not seek HER best, but to seek to serve and love well.

"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Matthew 6:19-21

May we live for eternity even this very day!

Hope you all enjoy a lovely Friday–

With love from a tired but grateful Momma Tara,
t

I’m wondering how you all respond to panhandlers and beggars? Particularly, how do you talk with your children about these people in great need?

I think I need to do some study because I’m feeling a little shook after something that happened today ...

I received a personal letter (two pages, written in pencil) from someone in Kenya who is in great need. Apparently, he had read an article I wrote in a Christian magazine, found my address, and wrote to beg for money for food, water, and shelter.

Yes, I know it could be an elaborate scam. In fact, that was my first thought. I pictured a horrible scene of small children being forced to write these pathetic letters with the hope that well-meaning Christians would send money to warlords or something. Could be.

I did check out the info. on snopes.com. (By the way–I truly hope that BEFORE you EVER forward an email with some “lost child” or “person in need” or “amazing story” that you first check out whether it is an urgan legend!! Or better yet–never forward emails.) And there was no entry for the contact information/name.

But I digress ...

I know that poverty is all around us. I know that Christians are in need more than I could even imagine even if I saw it with my own eyes!

Even in our own church, there are huge needs with complex issues of the heart at play too.

I guess it just kind of threw me today. Maybe it’s because I’m feeling tired and hormonal. Maybe it’s also because I DO care but I know I don’t care nearly enough. I am astoundingly selfish in my comfortable little life.

Well ... off to bed. May God have His way in my life!

SDG,
Tara B.

Here is the Valentine’s Day dress:



And here are Sophia and Lilikoi playing “beach” (and then warming up by the heating vent / “hot tub”):



AND lastly ... just to make you chuckle ... here is what my dining room table TEMPORARILY looked like when I got home from my ten-day trip and started plowing through the piles, making order out of chaos:



Happy Wednesday!

Love,
Tara B.

Sophie and I were just napping upstairs when our friendly postal carrier, Gordon, rang our doorbell to drop off some packages. (We have the world’s BEST postal carrier AND UPS driver! They are so professional and friendly and NICE.)

Anyway ... one of the packages was a small bubble-wrap envelope from Tennessee. I kind of cringed as I went to open it, thinking it was a defective CD from my event there a couple of weeks ago. (I hate it when I let people down with a defective CD–plus, sometimes people aren’t all that friendly or gentle when they return them for an exchange.)

But guess what? It wasn’t a returned CD or a grouchy note ... it was a DRESS! A sweet, Valentine’s Day, pink & red hearted dress handmade by a woman at my Tennessee event for Sophia Grace!

Oh, oh, oh, she is going to be so blessed when she gets up from her nap. I can’t wait for her to see it.

You know–I just can’t tell you how much it means to me when events/women at events remember Sophie & Fred. They are SUCH a sweet part of anything I try to do to serve or encourage! And they really do sacrifice to send me off on airplanes every few weeks.

So anyway ... just wanted to say thank You, God, for the sweet encouragement from a sister in Christ!
(And of course we’ll be sending a thank you to the seamstress too.)

Hope you have an encouraging moment in your day today too!

Smilingly,
Tara B.

PS
After our reading in the gospel of John this morning, when Sophie started out her prayer thanking God for His attributes, she prayed this:

"Thank You, God, that You are Our Good Shepherd. And nothing can EVER snatch us from Your hand. Ever. Never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, EVER snatch us out of Your hand because You are bigger than EVERYTHING."

(There might have been a few more “nevers” and “evers” in there too.)

Great reminder, eh?

(THIS IS REVISED AS OF WED. MORNING! I added another way to enter.)

OK, I think it’s WAY overdue time-wise for me to GIVE AWAY SOME FREE STUFF!

- I have a few biblical peacemaking resources that someone might like ...

- A TOTAL steal on a TJ Lynde painting has JUST come my way from his ebay store ...

- AND I have a bunch of new CDs too!

(Plus ... honestly? I really want to see some NEW REVIEWS for our book and also some CURRENT DATES on our PeaceGals Discussion Area. I’m sick of seeing posts on the main page from like 2005 ... OK, not really. There are actually some cool new posts on there! But before we do our big “DVD PROJECT IS DONE” mailing, I’d love to see a little ministry/encouragement/helping-ness on there. Might actually bless some people! )

So here’s the scoop:

1. Start a new conversation OR post a new REPLY on PeaceGals; AND/OR

2. Review our book, Peacemaking Women, over on Amazon.com (don’t be afraid! you can do it! even if you’ve never reviewed anything on Amazon, I know you can do it!); AND

3. Email me to let me know (AND to be sure I have your contact information)

... and you could win an original TJ Lynde painting OR some peacemaking materials OR even some groovy Tara CD’s (why does that last one sound like the consolation prize??? ).

Let’s run this thing for a WEEK, shall we?

Post a new discussion or comment by MIDNIGHT, SATURDAY 2/9/08 (and email to let me know!) and you’re in the drawing.

The fine print:

- Of course, I will NEVER give your name or contact information to ANYONE.

- Post as many discussions or comments as you’d like, but I’ll only enter your name UP TO TEN TIMES, OK? (So if you do eleven posts/comments, you’re only entered ten times.)

- I couldn’t care less if you’ve won something from me in the past ... COME ON IN! The water’s warm! Enter again and hopefully you’ll win something.

- Who knows? If we don’t get much action, I may even let you PICK the resource you’d like. (I can get most of the Peacemaker resources at a significant discount, so this could be a big win for you and/or your church if I buy you the exact one you want!)

Hope this is a blessing to you all. I truly appreciate you!

Happy day from this Home-in-Montana-Momma,
Tara B.

PS
I’m going to try to remember to keep moving this to the current day ... so please know that I originally posted it on Saturday night (2/2), but I’ll try to have it new on each day this week. If I remember.

So what does it mean that I REALLY enjoy reading things like this?

Chicago Style Q&A

???

Another must read over at New Attitude:

The Gospel and Bitterness

Preach it, Pastor Anyabwile!

My pastor, Jason Barrie, is teaching an AMAZING class on Christian marriage. Everyone is invited (single, married, divorced, widowed) and the principles are applicable to all relationships–but the focus is on marriage.

I wish I could transcribe the entire class for you! It’s that good. But let me give you just a few nuggets from this past Sunday:

- Relationships often come at a cost because we bump up against one another.

- So often the “fixes” for marriage are appealing because they focus on something outside of ourselves and they give us the affirmation that “we’re OK” and it’s the OTHER PERSON who needs to change/adjust TO US. Or sometimes we like the “solutions” because they promise a quick fix ("the silver bullet"): “Ten Steps to Having a Happy Marriage,” "30 Days to Being a Godly Husband," “Read this two page article in a women’s magazine and YOU can have a happy marriage.”

- Is there wisdom in understanding gender differences, personalities, temperaments, “love languages”? Sure! They help us to love and serve well. BUT they can also become tools for manipulation. We begin to say, “OK, dear. I’ll learn what you like and scratch your back and you learn what I like and scratch my back. And as long as we’re meeting each other’s ”needs," great!" But that only lasts for a couple of days MAX because everything we do begins to have a PRICE TAG to it. What happens when we let one another down? How do we respond when we don’t get what we want?

- You can count on me failing you! And I can count on you failing me! And so often, when we fail, there is NO MERCY. We say things like, “You’ll never change.” "You’ll always let me down." “You’re not capable of loving.” "You’ve made your bed, now lie in it! This is YOUR fault!"

- You cannot love someone and use them at the same time.

- The foundation for a miserable marriage is PERFORMANCE. The foundation of a God-glorifyingly happy ("blessed") marriage is GRACE. Grace gives us a new MOTIVE in our relationships and a new METHOD in our relationships. We begin to treat one another God in Christ treats us.

- We have abundant resources to help us when we are suffering in a miserable marriage; and we have abundant resources to help us in our happy marriages. God is alive and active and in Christ, there are present means of grace for us this very day!

Amen, Pastor Jason!
Preach it!

(Oh–and if you’d like to hear Pastor Jason actually teaching on biblical hope for miserable Christian marriages, we have a CD from a workshop we co-taught at last fall’s Peacemaker Conference available on the resources page of my website. Not trying to sell you anything! But if it’s helpful to you. )

Hope you have a great Tuesday!

With love,
Tara B.

PS
Soph’s fever is down a smidgen. She slept from 4:30PM until 8:30AM, poor love! But she’s keeping water down and even a few crackers now. AND (thankfully!) there is no evidence of chicken pox on her tiny little fevered body. (Chicken pox is apparently moving through the kids in our church–even the kids who have been vaccinated! I didn’t even know that was possible.)

Thanks for the prayers and encouraging notes (especially Rose & Sarah Joy)! I appreciate very much you taking the time to pray for and encourage me.

Much love! – t

Totally want to post on my pastor’s (Jason Barrie’s) Sunday school class on marriage ...
Totally want to post a couple of pictures that I think will make you chuckle ...

But poor darling Sophia spiked a fever of 103!
So I’m in the thick of it here and heading into a LONG night.

Praying for you!

Blessings and love,
Tara B.

My pastor, Alfred Poirier, just started a new sermon series on God’s Church in the Last Days.

Surprisingly, he is not preaching it from Revelation or Daniel ... but Thessalonians.

We only had a “brief” (40 minute?) introduction today because it was a communion Sunday ... but it was, as his sermons almost always are, stellar.

So if you’re like me and you’d like to learn more and thus, move away from a “pan-millennial” view of the end times (paraphrasing him this morning, “where I just assume it’ll all PAN OUT in the end”), give yourself a task on your to-do list to check back with our church’s website and listen to the series. (They usually post the sermons by Monday afternoons.)

I’m really looking forward to this series!

Over and over again, he showed us from Scripture how “protology is eschatology”: first things are the seed of last things; last things are concealed in first things. AND how the “last days” were LAUNCHED when Jesus came on the scene.

In particular, I appreciated his exegesis of HOW Paul spoke to the “Jews and God-Fearers Scattered through the Empire” (Acts 17:1-4):

1. Reasoning
2. Explaining
3. Proving
4. Persuading and Joining

Paul did not rant. He preached point by point. He had a close reading of the text (the Old Testament). He took questions, heard objections and criticisms, and showed in Scripture how “this Jesus” was, in fact, The Messiah.

I also CRINGED as he shared a Sam Harris quote. (Sam Harris is a very famous atheist who, apparently, received HATE-FILLED letters FROM CHRISTIANS after the publication of his first book.) He writes:

"The truth is that many who claim to be transformed by Christ’s love are deeply, even murderously, intolerant of criticism."

OUCH! Too true. Too true.

Pastor Alfred exhorted us to NOT be like THIS. But to winsomely, humbly, gently stand for Truth; to bear the name of Christ well because we truly are united with Him and in Him.

We look back, present, and forward to Jesus' coming again!

Maranatha. Come quickly, Lord Jesus!

Blessed Sabbath to you all!
And thanks again, Pastor Alfred, for feeding your sheep so richly from God’s Word.

With love,
Tara B.

Not only did I come home to TONS of laundry done by the Fredster (saint Fred!); he actually ordered the bills and paperwork AND put out our new bedroom linens too! Wow!



I still have to iron the bedskirt and find some curtains ... but OH! It is just such a more restful and “warm” room that the old COLD BLUE AND WHITE.

(For a flashback reminder ...)



We are very grateful to my sister and her hubby for the Christmas gift of a do-over on the room! What a blessing.





(I’m still marveling that I could find an “overstock.com” $99 steal on the entire bedroom set (including pillows!) AND Costco lamps AND that I had some old prints in the basement that all match the new paint color too. Add in a couple of end tables from–literally–GOODWILL and we have a new bedroom. Hooray!!)

G'nite and God bless,
Tara B.

I am diligently working on some ghost writing projects in the Minneapolis airport ...

Almost home!!

Really hoping to be able to truly serve Fred and be PRESENT (emotionally, not just physically) with Sophia too.

I am tired.
But grateful, too.

My family member is doing much better! And I was so glad I could be here to help.

I didn’t turn to sugar all week long (for a “reward” or “stress relief”)!! This is a TRUE miracle. I know that my pastor (Jason Barrie) and Fred and my “food ladies” friends were praying for me. Grace grace grace!

I know that re: our dining room table, I’ll totally be walking into chaos and I’m really trying to be prepared for that too. (When Momma’s gone for ten days, piles accumulate. That’s OK! And they DON’T have to be dealt with immediately!! Or at least that’s what I keep telling myself with the sincere hope that it’ll squish down into my subconscious mind between now and 1:30PM. )

Puppy’ll need some scritchin.
Lovie-bug-daughter’ll need some momma'ing.
Fred will need a BREAK (and a little Tara-too).

Oh, Lord, may I love You and serve them well. This is my prayer.

Blessed Saturday to you all!
Tomorrow’s Sunday!! Hooray!! The best day of the week.

Love ya lots,
Tara B.

I don’t know how you handle new blogs ... but if I find something that holds my attention for more than 30 seconds (most do NOT), I add it to my blog favorites and give it a few weeks. If I find myself going back to it at least once every few weeks, it stays. If not, DELETE-O-RAMA.

This one (HT Pastor JollyBlogger!!) looks like it might prove to be a KEEPER:

(Conn-versation’s) Richard Muller on Contextualizing our Theology

This is the quote that made me click through and poke around a bit:

"The past must be consulted, but not copied without regard to the new historical and cultural situation in which we find ourselves. If, on the other hand, the great doctrines of the church are not addressed, the exposition lapses into a subjectivity and personal or even idiosyncratic statement….There is, therefore, in dogmatic or doctrinal theology a clear relationship between contemporary faith-statement and the normative doctrinal constructs known as dogmas."

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

(I love a blog that makes me THINK. Lazy girl that I am ... I’m just SO blessed by thinking people.)

Hopin' to make it out of snowy Chicago at 8AM!

Yours happily,
Tara B.

I often read Titus 3:3-8 whenever I am asked to speak at a women’s retreat or conference. It is just such a sweet reminder of the gospel! I really love reading it for myself and for the women I have the honor of serving.

If you’d like to read the entire commentary on Titus, it is available in the public domain. I found it easily at Monergism.com:

Matthew Henry’s Commentary on the Whole Bible Volume VI (Acts to Revelation)

I won’t post the entire exegesis here, but I am mulling on a few snippets as I go through my day here in snowy Chicago and I thought they might bless you too. So I’ll highlight a few of them below.

Happy, Blessed Friday to you all!

Your friend,
Tara B.

A Few Notes from Matthew Henry’s Commentary on Titus 3

"For we ourselves also were sometimes foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving divers lusts and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful, and hating one another. But after that the kindness and love of God our Saviour toward man appeared, not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost; Which he shed on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Saviour; That being justified by his grace, we should be made heirs according to the hope of eternal life. This is a faithful saying, and these things I will that thou affirm constantly, that they which have believed in God might be careful to maintain good works. These things are good and profitable unto men." Titus 3:3-8

- The precept regards doing good in all kinds, and on every occasion that may offer, whether resecting God, ourselves, or our neighbour—what may bring credit to religion in the world. - Mere harmlessness, or good words and good meanings only, are not enough without good works.

- To speak evil of no man: medena blasphemein, to revile, or curse, or blaspheme none: or (as our translation more generally) to speak evil of none, unjustly and falsely, or unnecessarily, without call, and when it may do hurt but no good to the person himself or any other. If no good can be spoken, rather than speak evil unnecessarily, say nothing. We must never take pleasure in speaking ill of others.

- From their own past condition. Consideration of men’s natural condition is a great means and ground of equity and gentleness, and all meekness, towards those who are yet in such a state. This has a tendency to abate pride and work pity and hope in reference to those who are yet unconverted: “We ourselves also were so and so, corrupt and sinful, therefore we should not be impatient and bitter, hard and severe, towards those who are but as ourselves once were. Should we then have been willing to be contemned, and proudly and rigorously dealt with? No, but treated with gentleness and humanity; and therefore we should now so treat those who are unconverted, according to that rule of equity: Quod tibi non vis fieri, alteri ne feceris—What you would not have done to you that do not you to another.”

- Their past natural condition is set forth in divers particulars. We ourselves also were sometimes, (1.) Foolish; without true spiritual understanding and knowledge, ignorant of heavenly things. Observe, Those should be most disposed to bear with others' follies who may remember many of their own; those should be meek and gentle, and patient towards others, who once needed and doubtless then expected the same. We ourselves also were sometimes foolish.

- It is the misery of sinners that thy hate one another, as it is the duty and happiness of saints to love one another.

- From their present state. “We are delivered out of that our miserable condition by no merit nor strength of our own; but only by the mercy and free grace of God, and merit of Christ, and operation of his Spirit. Therefore we have no ground, in respect of ourselves, to condemn those who are yet unconverted, but rather to pity them, and cherish hope concerning them, that they, though in themselves as unworthy and unmeet as we were, yet may obtain mercy, as we have:” and so upon this occasion the apostle again opens the causes of our salvation, v. 4-7.

- We have here the prime author of our salvation—God the Father, therefore termed here God our Saviour. All things are of God, who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, 2 Cor. v. 18. All things belonging to the new creation, and recovery of fallen man to life and happiness, of which the apostle is there speaking, all these things are of God the Father, as contriver and beginner of this work.

- Where sin abounded, grace did much more abound. We read of riches of goodness and mercy, Rom. ii. 4; Eph. ii. 7. Let us acknowledge this, and give him the glory of it, not turning it to wantonness, but to thankfulness and obedience.

- Here is the procuring cause of all, namely, Christ: Through Jesus Christ our Saviour. He it is who purchased the Spirit and his saving gifts and graces. All come through him, and through him as a Saviour, whose undertaking and work it is to bring to grace and glory; he is our righteousness and peace, and our head, from whom we have all spiritual life and influences. He is made of God to us wisdom, righteousness, sanctification, and redemption. Let us praise God for him above all; let us go to the Father by him, and improve him to all sanctifying and saving purposes. Have we grace? Let us thank him with the Father and Spirit for it: account all things but loss and dung for the excellency of the knowledge of him, and grow and increase therein more and more.

- Here are the ends why we are brought into this new spiritual condition, namely, justification, and heirship, and hope of eternal life: That, being justified by his grace, we should be made heirs according to the hope of eternal life. Justification in the gospel sense is the free remission of a sinner, and accepting him as righteous through the righteousness of Christ received by faith. In it there is the removing of guilt that bound to punishment, and the accepting and dealing with the person as one that now is righteous in God’s sight.

- Let us not trust therefore in our own righteousness or merit of good works, but in Christ’s righteousness alone, received by faith for justification and acceptance with God … the procuring of all this is by Christ, that, being justified by his grace, we should be made heirs. Observe, Our justification is by the grace of God, and our justification by that grace is necessary in order to our being made heirs of eternal life; without such justification there can be no adoption and sonship, and so no right of inheritance.

Oh my STARS!!

I’ve been burdened.
I’ve prayed.
I’ve tried to discern HOW our family could POSSIBLY help.

But after reading this blog from Radical Womanhood, I think I know now how I want to give $$$$$$.

Dear, God, have mercy on this sin-sick world!
(I know You do!!)

And save these precious women and tiny little lovie girls.
(Oh! I feel sick to my stomach. Again.)

Maranatha. Come quickly Lord Jesus.
– t