considerable grace

I had another stellar counseling session with my pastor this morning. He is such a gift to our church and our family (and me personally)! We really thank God for him.

One of the many things we discussed is my continual battle of faith’s fight against sin in the area of FOOD. This habitual struggle for me is closely related to discipline re: exercise too ... but really, I have been in a lifetime struggle against the ruling lust of FOOD–especially “junk food” (high fat/high sugar).

ANYWAY, I have another health goal that I’d REALLY like to STRIVE FOR (lose 10 more pounds!) and I was wondering if any of YOU would have any similar goals that maybe we could team together and pray for / encourage each other in the coming weeks.

Of course, mere behavioral change is NOT enough. So in addition to eating and exercise commitments, I have spiritual ones too. AND I am actively seeking counsel to help with my HEART.

But as dear Judy Dabler often reminds me:

"Introspection is great! But at some point, you just have to CHANGE because change isn’t change until change takes place."

So ... are any of you needing a little kick-start in any area of discipline?

Anyone else needing to beat down your flesh a bit into submission so that we have more health to serve God and neighbor?

I promise to report back and let you know how my first little “push” of extra effort for discipline goes. And I’d love to journey with any of you too if you’re interested!

But right now I have to get my workshop descriptions to Peacemakers for their conference this fall (due today!) and my handouts to California for my first big SBC event (due tomorrow!) and, oh yeah, at some point tonight I should think about packing for my trip (tomorrow morning) ... but somehow cuddling with Sophie and laughing at Lili has taken precedence for some of this afternoon. Who needs sleep, right?

May God grant us grace to turn away from our sin and turn to HIM!

Yours in the battle,
Tara B.

Another stunning painting by Samara’s husband, Taylor Lynde is available for purchase:



Alpine Shallows–Edith Lake

I can’t believe he allows a certain number of his paintings to go each month via online auctions rather than in galleries! But he truly wants everyone to be blessed by great art.

Now do you see why I check his offerings all the time? I’m so edified just by seeing what he is painting. What an amazing gift!

Hope you enjoy and that your Tuesday is going well. Every single room of my home is absolutely CHAOTIC, so I’m going to (try to!) slowly bring some order as I prep dinner.

With love,
Tara B.

Molly posted a great blog over at the Peacemakers Route 5:9:

Ten Commandments for Email Communications

(Oh–and by the way–you can blame the original author, Tim Voorhees, for the reason Peacemaking Women and this blog even exist. Way back a zillion years ago, he was the one who made it possible for me to pursue training as a Christian conciliator with Peacemaker Ministries. We were still valiantly working to pay off our $73,000 of (MY! not Fred’s) grad school debt, and there was just no way we could’ve afforded to send me to the training. So you can blame Tim’s generosity for this blog and for anything I have to do with peacemaking.)

(Thanks, Tim!)

I hope your Monday was a good one. I enjoyed many blessings but was CRUSHED by my own stupidity when I realized that I COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY RUINED an entire load of my best laundry by leaving a tube of lipstick in it (!!!!). I couldn’t believe it! I remember specifically checking the pockets for lipstick ... but, nope. All of my best pants ... GARBAGE. I worked all day to get the stains out but my labors were to no avail.

It’s particularly frustrating for me because I was SO happy to (finally!) FIT into those pants again. But now I have to try to find new pants before I fly out to West Virginia on Thursday. Here’s hoping there are some good sales somewhere. Oh! I just HATE wasting money like this. Fred is so gracious–but I feel like such a failure re: financial stewardship. But it’s done now, no use crying over spilt melted lipstick.

God’s blessings on your evening!

With love,
Tara B.

I arrived home safe & sound and we enjoyed a very restful and fun Sabbath.

A few of my favorite parts of the day:



Sophie made a “candy store” with the sweets from the Popcorn Factory that my Delaware event sent Fred and her. She wrote “pris” (price) and “for sale” on little tags and taped them to the packages. Very fun!



Fred got out his guitar, Sophie grabbed a tambourine, and we jammed out to “We Will Dance” as a family. Even Lilikoi got in on the action! She LOVES to lie completely across my FEET (even as I pedal!) right under the piano. Too cute!

Hope you are all doing well–

I’m heading to bed now because I officially started my day before 4AM on this time zone and I’m ZONKED.

G'nite & God bless,
Tara B.

First flight of the day was uneventful. ("Uneventful" is truly my goal in air travel. Anything above that is just GRAVY as far as I’m concerned.)

And I’m about to board my flight for Billings! So, Lord willing, I’ll be hanging with Sophia, Fred, and Lilikoi in a couple of hours. I’m so happy to get a Sunday afternoon with them! Hooray!

Thanks again, DELAWARE (not Maryland! ) for a great weekend. It was a true joy to be with you all.

With love from the MSP WorldClub,
Tara B.

PS
A few pics to give you a little smile ...

Sophie meets a friend ...



And plays “pregnant mommies” with her bud, Emma ...

It’s late Friday night and Fred and I just finished praying for all of the women at my event here in Delaware.

What a wonderful group of women! In addition to blessing and serving one another during the event–they have totally blessed me too ...

Tonight Fred and Sophie got home and found a GOODY BOX waiting for them. Inside, there were “thank you for sharing your mom/wife with us” cards from the ladies AND cookies, popcorn, and Sophia Grace’s favorite: chocolate in the shape of stars.

Thanks, ladies! I have never had an event remember Fred and Sophie like this and we are all extremely grateful.

Time to get cleaned up and head to bed–

Hope you enjoy a lovely Saturday!

Yours,
Tara B.

So if you’d like to read Fred’s take on our big fight this week, cruise on over to the Peacemaker blog:

Peacemaking 201

(He’s a good writer, isn’t he? Cute too. And forgiving. What a nice combination!)

Happily ensconced in Delaware after an uneventful day of travel–

Yours,
Tara B.

I’m reading old blog posts trying to find some citations and examples.

(Man! Am I a SINNER or WHAT? Nothing like reading old posts to remind me of THAT. Good thing God is SO forgiving!)

ANYWAY, I read an old post where I quoted Ajith Fernando and I wanted to commend his essay to you again. Here is just an excerpt to tempt you to read the entire post:

"Suffering with Christ is a normal part of Christianity and we must never make a big deal about this or be angry when we face it. In the ministry we constantly face inconvenience, tiredness, shame, slander, persecution, sorrow, disappointment and hurt. When we suffer we must be joyful because of the honour of suffering for his name (Acts 5:41); because of the reward to be received in heaven (Matt. 5:11); because it will be turned into something good for us (Rom. 8:28 ), because it draws us closer to Christ (Col. 1:24) and because it helps the church (Col. 1:24). We must never let those who hurt us take away our joy. That is an honour they do not deserve. When people hurt us we must battle till we can truly say that it is for our good (Rom. 8:28 )."

Amen and thanks, Ajith! We love you and pray for you and your family regularly.

If you are familiar at all with the basic biblical peacemaking principles taught by Peacemaker Ministries, then you undoubtedly know the Seven A’s of Confession.

The “Seven A's” are great reminders of things to do (and avoid) when confessing to another person.

But here’s the problem (at least as I reflect on Fred’s and my big ol' fight yesterday morning) ...

When I’m REALLY mad, I just DON’T CARE about what I KNOW to be true.

Case in point: yesterday’s fight.

I really think that my response to Fred was a TEXTBOOK example of the OPPOSITE of a helpful/redemptive/productive confession:

1. No way did I address everyone involved because I didn’t want to even THINK about confessing to GOD because really? I was UNREPENTANT. I wasn’t sorry. I was MAD.

2. I ABSOLUTELY thought, felt, and said those blame-shifting, ridiculous words like, “I’m sorry that I had too much emotional energy as I shared that, DARLING, but if you weren’t so DEFENSIVE then maybe we wouldn’t be having this fight!” (etc. etc.) (I am not proud of any of this by the way.)

3. No way was I admitting ANYTHING. Well, that’s not true. I was readily admitting that FRED was wrong. But was I specifically owning up to my contribution to the conflict? No. I was just MAD.

4. I did not acknowledge that I had hurt Fred. My “token apology” was a perfect example of warping a confession into an ATTACK. And like a strange science fiction scene, it was almost as though I could SEE myself being such a jerk, but I kept living out a stupid teaching illustration of HOW NOT TO BE. Ergh! Conflict. No fun.

5. Thankfully, repentance did come and I think that the painful consequences really helped. (I just HATED the HYPOCRISY of Fred and me being estranged while I worked hard to shepherd Sophie all day, ghost write on the gospel & peacemaking, AND pack to go and teach at a peacemaking event this weekend.)

6. I do pray that I will avoid this sin in the future. I do need to be more careful in how I relate with Fred–especially on this certain issue (as I now know but until yesterday morning, I didn’t have a CLUE!). Plus, I need to be more careful to not use a fake confession as an attack. And I need to not “punish” him by FLIGHT (leaving the room, hanging up the cell phone, pulling away).

7. Yes, I have asked God and Fred to forgive me and I am grateful for their mercy.

"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." Lamentations 3:22-23

Amen & Amen!
I am grateful for the forgiveness of God AND my husband.

Hope your Thursday goes well. I’m winging my way to Philadelphia and will hopefully be teaching in Delaware tomorrow.

Grace to you!

Yours,
Tara B.

Someone left a comment today on a really old blog I did about donating my extra Bibles to Christian Resources International.

(For years I had felt guilty having so many Bibles when I knew that Christians–and especially PASTORS–around the world didn’t have any Bibles. But I didn’t know where to send them. Then I found CRI and boxed 'em up and sent them off with some old sermon tapes and other Christian resources.)

Anyway ... this commenter this morning asked if I knew any similar organizations (or organisations for my British friends) in the U.K. and I just wanted to say that I don’t. Sorry! But maybe CRI can help you if you contact them through their website.

They are fine people doing a good work. I encourage you all to look around your basements and if you see DUST on a Bible, box it up and send it off. Christians around the world would (literally) walk MILES for something that your family apparently doesn’t even move more or less look at/study/memorize. Please do consider it.

OK. Back to marble elevator play! Very fun. I should put a picture up for you guys one of these days ...

Love and blessings,
Tara B.

I had a wonderful walk this morning with Lilikoi (our Golden).

It started out kind of strange because, after I had put on my WINTER coat, gloves, and mp3/radio, and wrapped my scarf around my hat-covered head (it is COLD at 6AM! in the 30’s!), I took Lili outside for her potty call, turned back toward the house and there was sweet Sophie in her princess NIGHTGOWN. Brrrrrrrr!

Apparently, she needed a little momma cuddles, so we went back inside, cuddled away, read some Bible, played, and after Fred woke up and took over cuddle duty, Lili and I headed out.

We’ve gotten into the habit of walking to the post office early in the morning. It takes just under an hour if I keep up a fast pace, but it does require a backpack for packages.

ANYWAY ... it was a nice morning. I enjoy the fresh air and the combination of news & worship music that I switch back and forth between as I walk.

I was sad to see a gorgeous duck dead by the side of the road. He was truly magnificent! Such a deep orange color for his feet–just beautiful. And the colors of his feathers? Stunning! It was sad that he had apparently not made it across the road, but I did marvel at God’s creation in making such a magnificent creature.

I was blessed to see a junior high boy lean over and give his dad a kiss as he was dropped off for school. It was an old, rusty car (looked like ours!) and their clothing didn’t indicate that they had a lot of discretionary money to spend on the latest fashion. But a junior high boy giving his dad a kiss? That’s just good livin'! And I bet a lot of “wealthy” families would love to have strong relationships with their kids over fancy cars or clothing any day, eh?

So there I was, feeling “centered” and grateful and worshipful of God as I headed home ...

‘Course, then Fred and I had a big ol’ fight as we made breakfasts and packed lunches. Yuck. Fighting is SUCH a drag. I don’t know how your fights are, but when WE fight, I get SO DISCOURAGED because IN THAT MOMENT, it feels as thought we’ll never work through it. Our really bad fights feel SO overwhelming.

Yes, yes, truth and grace prevail and we work through things. But BOY! Conflict can be extremely unpleasant.

And isn’t it just TOO funny how quickly our heart attitudes can change? Happy to sad. Content to frustrated. Hopeful to despairing.

(Oh, and yes, it IS “day one” of that time of the month for me too. Think that comes into play? )

OK ... it’s 12:30PM and I’m about to start to pack for my east coast trip tomorrow.

May God be glorified!
How good to know that HE never changes. Never.

Happy Wednesday!
– Tara B.

I am not usually a fan of Walmart. It’s not a big social-action issue for me or anything. It’s more that our local Walmart is dirty, overly-crowded, poorly lit, and staffed by surly people who seem to simultaneously hate AND know nothing about their jobs.

HOWEVER, I am a TRUE CONVERT to the online Walmart.com photolab.

My mom had asked for “real” photos (not digital/email) and usually I have to burn the files to a disc, pop over to my local drugstore, pay my $.18/ea to print them, put 'em in an envelope, head to the post office (since I’m not sure of the weight/postage), and send them.

NEVER again.

At the Walmart.com photolab, it took me MINUTES to set up an account, upload the photos, put in my mother’s address, and pay the TEENY TINY fee to have them shipped directly to her. PLUS, when I signed up for the account, the box for the email address had my absolutely FAVORITE thing–a privacy policy RIGHT THERE that said they would not sell, give, or use my email address for unsolicited mailings. Hoooooray! So sign me up.

My mom received the gorgeous prints in just a few days and I was THRILLED to scratch it off of my to-do list with a minimal amount of effort.

No, I’m not getting any kind of payment for this referral. I just wanted to be sure to let you know about this because it might come in handy for you.

(But in the interest of full disclosure I WILL tell you that one of Fred’s older brothers–Fred is the youngest of FIVE brothers–does work on the upper management team for the Walmart.com photo lab. Actually, that’s the only reason I even gave it a chance. I’m glad I did.)

Hope your Tuesday is going well! I had THREE girls here all afternoon after our little church co-op this morning, so it’s been ballerinas and mermaids and tea parties and forts. In other words, a nice day.

Joy to you–

Yours,
Tara B.

So, hypothetically, if you could design a “women’s track” for the Peacemaker Conference, what four or five topics would you ABSOLUTELY include?

Just brainstorming here ...

There’s a fun read over at the Peacemaker Ministries blog:

Baseball and Forgiveness

Even if you’re not a sports fan, you might enjoy it. But oh! If your grandfather was buried with a Chicago CUBS hat in the casket (like mine was) and Wrigley Field is in your blood, then you’ll REALLY enjoy it.

Shannon asked a good question in a comment so I thought I’d bring it up to a real post and reply to it here.

It has to do with my DVD series:

Living the Gospel in Relationships

Shannon wondered if the original copyright (that allows you to print off or copy as many copies of the 104-page study guide as you like) will apply once ("IF" – it’s not a done-deal yet!) Peacemaker Ministries officially picks up the series and makes it “their own.”

Here’s the deal: Yes. If you have already purchased the DVD series or if you purchase it in this interim season before ("IF") Peacemakers publishes their version, you may print off or copy as many copies of the study guide as you’d like.

This was one of my conditions during our negotiations. I just could not go back on my word to you all–and I won’t.

So if you have the series or you get it soon, you’re set! You can train all of the women in your church if you’d like–all for $50! But if you wait much longer, you’ll have to pay the $99 Peacemaker Price and buy a new guide for each participant.

Thanks for the good question, Shannon!

Much love to all,
Tara B.

A GREAT READ over at New Attitude:

The Gospel and Relationships (for Guys)

Let me tempt you with just the tease:

"Sacrificial service in a relationship is not just a product of being a ‘nice guy’. It’s not motivated by sentimental chivalry. It’s tied to the very fabric of our faith – Christ’s death for us.

(This article intended specifically for single guys but helpful to all.)"

What if marriage were more about our growth in grace than our temporal happiness?

And what if we who are spouses have the great honor of reflecting God’s MERCY as our husbands and wives grow in grace? (Because, after all, it is God’s KINDNESS, His MERCY, that leads us to repentance, right?)

What if we did the same for our children? Helped them to see that what they did NOT need to figure out is how to “FAKE IT” to “LOOK GOOD” to earn our “approval” and “love.” But what they desperately need is the exact same thing WE need every single day: Christ. The Cross. A substitutionary Life and a substitutionary Death. A Savior.

And what if (as singles, divorced people, widows/widowers, married, whatever!) we lived our lives in community with this same mindset? So people at church, in our workplace, in our school, wherever (!) did not need to “measure up” before we would enter INTO their world. But instead, we loved the unlovable ... just as WE who were UTTERLY UNLOVABLE were loved even when we didn’t have a THING to offer in and of ourselves.

What if ...
What if ...

Amen. May it be so.
Maranatha. Come quickly, Lord Jesus!

Your friend on a Monday morning,
Tara B.

Every April. Tulips & snow. This little seasonal Montana tradition still makes Fred and me smile.

Look at the difference from the time we left FOR church until the time we got home FROM church ...

A little addendum on my previous post on “women received back their dead” ...

After the church service ended this morning, I turned to our friend, asked him how he was, and mentioned how much I have been missing his son lately.

“Seven years ago, Friday,” he said.

I had no idea. I couldn’t remember the exact date of Liam’s birth and death–but somehow I was particularly missing him this week.

You see, Liam was a child in our church who was happily born after a perfectly normal pregnancy with no indication of any problems. Family was gathered; joy was palpable ... but then it became obvious that something was terribly wrong. A few tests revealed a medical deformity that meant beyond a shadow of a doubt that he would die. Soon. Imminently, in fact.

And so, rather than gathering to welcome this precious bundle of love–his family gathered in the hospital room to hold him, kiss him, love him, and say goodbye. Liam lived for twelve hours and then two days later we gathered as a church family to grieve with his family and bury him.

Fred and I were still relatively new to the church back then, but I remember many details of that service. The tiny white coffin at the front of the church. (It was carried in and out by one man.) Pastor Alfred taking the pulpit after the family was seated–and simply breaking down in tears. Not only was it his child by church-relations, it was his nephew. And so, his close family members were pierced with sorrow.

As soon as Pastor Alfred broke down and cried, it was as if all of the sadness of all of the hundreds and hundreds of us just came pouring out ... we cried and cried and passed Kleenex around. It was terrifically sad–as it ought to have been–but hopeful, too, of course.

I remember waiting and waiting as all of the many, many cars slowly took their place in the procession to the cemetery. Car after car. So many people! I wondered if onlookers stopped at intersections watched the processional and thought, “Who died? Who was SO important that this many people would mourn him? Was he wealthy? Powerful? An inventor? Wow! He must have accomplished a LOT in his life to have this many mourners.”

But of course, all Liam did was breathe in and out. And then he was gone from this life—but not gone forever.

We sang, Taste and See–The Lord is Good at Liam’s funeral:

"He takes the weakest ones in this world
That He might show His grace and glory."

And I told the father at the gravesite, “We will not forget your son.”

We haven’t.

I talked with Liam’s mother after the church service this morning too. It was so good to remember him and love him and miss him together! And she said what a privilege it was that God would entrust to her the suffering of missing her son.

Such dear friends. Such an honor to love with them and thus, to grieve with them–because love always entails risk.

Grace to you!

With love,
Tara B.

Yesterday, our morning started off very fun. Sophie came down (too!) early and was cuddling and talking with me before 7:00AM (as I was doing a little reading, blogging, and getting ready to take Lilikoi for our morning walk).

I enjoy our early morning times. Fred is SO not an early morning person! But I always have been ... even as a child, I used to get up very early just to spend those few extra minutes with my dad. He’d go through his morning routine and I would follow him every single step–I just wanted to be with him.

All that to say, it was fun to be with Sophie. We are REALLY enjoying her ESV Children’s Bible. The first day we had it (in its purple “big girl Bible cover with a zipper just like Daddy’s!”), I let Sophie explore the Table of Contents and she immediately wanted to read the little section on the Ten Commandments.

I just LOVED how it explained that a lot of people think that the Ten Commandments are just a list of “things to do and NOT do”, but really they are MUCH more. They actually teach us about GOD and about OURSELVES. And then it went on to explain HOW and it had excellent visual reminders too. It was just great.

Anyway ... after the puppy walk, Fred was up and they headed into “make pancake mode” (a Saturday tradition for them). I decided to give our Betta fish, “Girlie”, a little bowl-cleaning. BUT SHE WAS DEAD!!

Poor, poor, POOR Girlie! I just felt AWFUL. Plus, it was SOOOOOOOO gross.

Death is just NOT THE WAY IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE. To quote PalmGirl, “I blame Adam for this!” Death is a mark of the Fall and a ramification of Sin.

Since pancakes were almost on, I just SHIVERED, covered her bowl with a towel, and quietly explained to Fred what had happened so that he could a) tell Sophia and b) DEAL WITH IT. (Farm boy, son of a veterinarian ... he valiantly jumps in because no WAY am I touching that bowl again until it is dead-fish-free!).

Sophie was very sad and I was too ... but I don’t think Fred had any emotions lost over the fish. So later in the day, Sophia and I went to Petsmart for our new Betta fish: Petuna. Petunia? Nope. “Peh-tuna.” For some interesting four-year-old-girl reason.

Petuna is a beautiful blue fish. I hope she enjoys being with us and I am happy to take on my motherly duties related to her cleaning and feeding. We do like our pets around here, eh? Yes! A lot. At church last night (we had a 30th anniversary of the church celebration church service), Sophia was sitting on my lap and suddenly just LIT UP from ear to ear. “I’m thinking about Petuna,” she said. Ahhhhh! Sweetness.

Which actually brings me to the REASON for this post: the church service last night. We were incredibly blessed to have Dr. Julius Kim of Westminster California preaching.

His sermon was long (we love long sermons!) and profound. I won’t re-tell it all for you now, but as he preached on Who We Are and the Hope of the Resurrection, he brought us to a specific verse that was particularly impactful for Fred and me.

He brought us there after having given some examples of horrible suffering throughout history–but also of FAITH that One Good Day, the suffering would end and God would make everything right again by the same power that raised Christ from the dead.

He also shared very humbly and honestly of a terrible suffering that he and his wife experienced. It was extremely hard for Fred and me to hear because it hit OH OH OH just WAY too close to home. (After seven years of marriage, Dr. Kim’s wife miscarried their first child just as she was heading into the second trimester. A little bleeding, then more, then death. Just like us last April. Too much like us, I think.)

But then he brought us to Hebrews 11:35 and it was a great comfort, so I wanted to share it with you. You know Hebrews 11, right? The great summary of so many people who found their only comfort in life and in death by faith in God their Savior?

Did you see verse 35 peeking in there amongst those who conquered kingdoms, enforced justice, stopped the mouths of lions, and were made strong in weakness? Until last night, I don’t think I had really seen it:

"Women received back their dead by resurrection ..." Hebrews 11:35

Yes, they did. They did and they will.

The path of suffering is so often not our choice–but it is the path we walk as pilgrims in a fallen world.

Isn’t it good to KNOW (really know! with confidence!) that God works together ALL things for His glory and our good? That He has provided something even BETTER for us than our temporary happiness?

This life is nothing but a constant death.
But this life is not our home.

Happy, Blessed Sunday to you!
Christ is risen! He is risen indeed.

Yours,
Tara B.

This morning in our little Bible & prayer time, Sophie asked me WHY I have her start her prayers by praying back God’s attributes. And this is how I replied:

"Sophie, if we’re not careful, it can be easy for our prayers to be filled with only REQUESTS of God (asking Him for something) and thanks to God for the BLESSINGS He gives us (nice things, presents, friends, etc.)

But the truth is that the BEST blessing God gives us is HIMSELF. And so we thank Him for just being Him. And we praise Him for His attributes–the things that make God God. Because there is no one and nothing in all the world like God."

'Course, as I said the words to Sophia Grace, I was listening in myself and thinking, “Hmmmmmm. Good reminder, Momma Tara. Best be thinking about that with your own prayers too.”

Ahhhh, motherhood. One big ol' sinner helping a little sinner to lay hold of Christ. (HT to Dr. Doriani for that paraphrase.)

Fred & Sophie are making us pancakes, so I’d better scoot.

Blessings,
Tara B.

Just a few blocks from our home–actually right in front of the church where Judy’s and my mediation on Peacemaking Women was held–a 24 year-old woman was killed yesterday morning.

She was driving her car on the main road (Grand Avenue), just driving along, heading into her day ... maybe thinking about the weekend or her 10:00 meeting, who knows? But then an irresponsible person just ignored the stop sign and “T-Boned” this poor woman’s car. She died of major blunt force trauma to the head and chest.

Fred and I were so sad as we read about all of this in the online “Billings Gazette” yesterday. Poor woman! And can you imagine the day that her family and friends had?

What a sad thing and what a reminder of the brevity of life. Oh that I may live with a grateful and God-centered heart this very day.

I had moments of that yesterday ... snippets of sweetness as I went throughout my day:

- I was SOOOOO tired after my sleepless night and I had NO interest in doing our little play/lessons (Bible, catechism, reading, math/logic, violin). I just wanted to LIE THERE and stare into space. But then I spoke with a friend about setting up a playdate, and she mentioned that she’d like to wait a couple of hours so that she could get their children through their morning routine/lessons. Now ... this friend didn’t know where my heart was, and she wasn’t confronting me or exhorting me ... but just the TESTIMONY of her life was enough to rouse my lazy bones and get me cuddling with Soph in our little chair. And our day was much better having experienced a little diligence (and fun and cuddles) to start it off.

- At the park with another friend, our three little girls were just SQUEALING with delight on the spinny tire swing toy. I mean it was unadulterated FUN. I turned to my friend and said, “This is GOOD LIVIN'!” And it was. (OH – AND she helped me to tackle my life-long fear of giving UNDERDOGS! Which, it turns out, aren’t that scary after all.)

- Later in the day, another friend and I sat on kitchen chairs in her driveway as our four children PAINTED ROCKS (and the driveway) with homemade sidewalk paint. It was SO sweet to talk and “watch the show” of children outside just doing what kids do.

So much grace! Such a better day than that poor woman and her loved ones.

May God be glorified this day and always! May we remember that this world is not our home–and that life is very, very short.

Grace to you!

Yours,
Tara B.

Still stealing the “quote of the day” idea from PalmTreePundit AND (as often is the case), using HER quote too:

"A shorter way of saying it is the way my mother has always said it: Life is a series of adjustments."

Don’t you want to read the LONGER way too? It’s SO worth your time.

Thanks, Anne! You bless us all.

Happy Saturday!

Yours,
Tara B.

I fell asleep for a few hours but was up at 2AM.

My mind was processing all of this DVD series stuff and I knew better than to try to go back to sleep until I just dealt with it.

It’s funny to me how I just do NOT do well at, say, 10PM when I need to tackle a big project ... but I’ll pull a 2-5AM shift no problem. What a weird little brain I have.

ANYWAY ... it’s good to have my part done and out to my advisors for their review. Peacemakers has a bit of a time-crunch on this project because they are trying to get a Resource Catalog done, so we have to figure this stuff out quickly.

I think we’re all on pretty much the same page with similar ministry goals, so I’m fairly certain it’ll all work out.

This week has had a lot of STRESS for me, though.

- I’ve been feeling the weight of our educational thoughts / goals / convictions for Sophia for next fall ... so there have been some truly WONDERFUL but “heavy” (important!) conversations with friends who I trust and admire and with Fred this week. It has been SO WONDERFUL to receive counsel from wise people and I feel happy and hopeful about it all. But it’s been a stressor.

- The potential “Peacemakers picking up the DVD series” project (and all that entails) has been great ... but intense, too.

- After a sweet season of discipline re: food, exercise, spiritual disciplines, etc., I’ve been in a bit of a RUT. Again. But Fred and my pastor just CONTINUE to preach Christ to me. Oh! How grateful I am that they do not slam me with the hammer of the law OR condemn me for my continual struggles. There are definitely some people in my life who communicate disdain and judgment to me re: these issues. But then I remember Pastor Jason’s call to put their struggle in the context of MY struggle and thus, how could I condemn THEM for their condemnation of ME? 'Twould never work. Then I’d be just as graceless and ICK! I don’t want to do that.

I even had a night terror (or demonic attack or something–but I’m assuming it was just a night terror).

I think that these “really REALLY bad dreams” do not happen often in adults, and I am blessed to report that I think I’ve only had a few in the last twenty years or so. (I used to have them quite often as a child. Brrrrrrr! I still remember some of them from literally 30 and 35 years ago! Shiverrrrrr!)

But Tuesday night, only minutes after we rolled over to go to sleep, I had the horribly terrifying sense of being crushed/pushed down; I couldn’t move; I couldn’t speak. It took ALL of my effort to rouse a desperate croak of “help me!” to which dear Fred responded by putting his hand on me and praying for me. (I didn’t remember the prayer–he told me about that a couple of days later–but I remember the weight of his hand because that is what finally “broke me out of it.”)

- Complexities in our hearts/souls (we do live in a spiritual world and our enemies are real ... satan, the world, our own Old Man/sin nature).

- Brains that process & process & process.

- Stressors of life (even “good stress”).

I’m glad that I don’t freak Fred out. He just prays, comforts, and goes to sleep. Nice guy. Sleeping now (of course). I think I might try to join him for a little 5-6AM nap.

Enjoy your Friday!

Yours,
Tara B.

I am honored and humbled to report that it looks like Peacemaker Ministries might be picking up my new DVD series and “making it their own.”

What that exactly means is complicated (of course–you’ve got a bunch of lawyers involved; Christians–yes; peacemakers–sure; but details details details to discuss and finalize in order to minimize confusion and be as clear as possible) ...

But I am fairly certain this is going to happen in the next few weeks and when it does, the price is going to rise (probably to $99/set) AND the copyright will NOT allow you to just print off the 104-page study guide.

I won’t even be able to get the series for the low cost I currently pay and thus, I won’t be able to sell it at our family’s little “just trying to cover costs” prices.

So all that to say ... no pressure! But if you were on the fence and thinking about getting the series, I really encourage you to go ahead and order it soon.

Fred and Pastor Jason and I believe that the value of getting to encourage and serve so many more women (and thus, marriages & children & workplaces & churches & missionary agencies, etc. etc.) makes this a wise decision.

But I wanted to be sure that I was doing everything I could to first bless my tiny little “market” of you dear blog readers & friends ... hence, the heads-up on this (pretty likely to be) forthcoming change.

If I can answer any questions about all of this, please don’t hesitate to email me.

We had a nice Thursday. Spent HOURS at the park drinking in the gorgeous blue sky & fluffy white clouds & fresh air because SNOW IS COMING. Again. Just when our tulips are blooming, we get that inevitable late April snowstorm. Blergh.

Hope you had a lovely day!

Yours,
Tara B.

When Lili and I got back from our morning walk, I found THIS on the kitchen ceiling:



And THIS on our front door:



I guess Sophie wanted to transform our home into the restaurant “Red Robin” ... just for the fun. And she remembered that there were lamps over the tables (hence the kitchen art).

The other thing that made me laugh was the “mask” she made this past weekend when I was in Georgia. (I first saw it over the webcam.)



I guess Fred offered to cut eye holes so that she could, you know, SEE. But she liked the mask the way it was.

What a fun age 4 is!

I listen to the news; I read news magazines and websites ... so why do I hear/read every nuance of every ridiculous thing a (potential!) candidate says; every result of every (ridiculous!) poll ...

But, until I check in with MilitaryMotivator, I hear NOTHING of the bravery of this great man?

Medal of Honor Awarded to Michael Monsoor

Only weeks to go until his deployment ended. Having already been awarded the Silver Star for bravery I can’t even imagine (during the FIRST month of his FIRST deployment). Only 25 years old.

"“He never took his eye off the grenade, his only movement was down toward it,” said a 28-year-old lieutenant who sustained shrapnel wounds to both legs that day. “He undoubtedly saved mine and the other SEALs’ lives."

“One of the SEALs he saved said that Mike’s countenance was completely calm and he showed no fear only resolve.”

Freedom is never free. Our luxurious (and often selfish!) lives are paid for by great sacrifice.

What a hero. We do not deserve the likes of you, Navy Seal Michael Monsoor. Thank you for your sacrifice. We are so sorry for the loss that your loved ones are experiencing; and we are sorry for the loss that our military and country are experiencing too.

I have so many friends who just SQUIRT out wisdom. In casual conversations, when teaching God’s Word, shopping at Target, running a meeting ... these women are simply FOUNTAINS of wisdom from heaven:

"Who is wise and understanding among you? By his good conduct let him show his works in the meekness of wisdom. But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace." James 3:13-17

Today one of these friends made the comment that it takes MORE compassion to deal with people who are caught in legalism; we need MORE compassion, NOT less.

Oh! How right she is.

I am seeing more clearly how WHEN I GET SCARED, I can be tempted to PULL BACK from people. That “pulling back” can come across as a criticism or judgment ... and it surely is NOT loving compassion.

Fred also reminded me over dinner that it is VERY (VERY!) easy for people to feel criticized and/or judged simply by another person making a DIFFERENT decision or choice. (Bottle or breast? Family bed or crib? Have children in your early 20’s? Intentionally postpone until your 30’s? Public/classical/homeschool? And on and on.)

I am so grateful that I have such wise, winsome, humble, enjoyable women in my life. They help me to grow in grace and I thank God for them.

Hope you had a good Tuesday! I was still tempted to be incredibly GROUCHY, but God gave me MUCH grace. He always does. Grace sufficient for the day!

G'nite & God bless,
Tara B.

The other day as we were talking, Sophia made the following comment to me:

"Mom, I think that you are a combination of both good and bad."

How right she is.

And today as we were practicing violin? I encouraged her to really concentrate and do her very, very best. And she replied:

"But I don’t have to be perfect, right?"

Nope. None of that required here.

Only One Person was ever perfect. Not us. Just Him.

Hope your Monday went well. I had a lovely day, but for some unknown reason, I’m a complete GROUCH tonight. Still ... much to be grateful for. Fred didn’t respond in kind when I was short-tempered; we’re grilling out and enjoying a gorgeous spring night on the back porch under our tiki lights.

Truly, grace abounds.

G'nite and God bless!
– Tara B.

(Couldn’t just leave this in a comment from our dear PeaceGals moderator, Ruth! She is so wise.)

Dear Momma Tara,

In all the repetitive necessities of motherhood, prepare yourself! You will need to memorize and take to heart these things you’ve told Sophie for you will for years to come say these things again! (and again!)

This constant attempt at self-righteousness and measuring up that came to us from the first Adam indwells our dear children also. You’re catching it early. It took me a long time to see myself in my son’s total exasperation and even meltdowns at the tiniest hint of failure on the first attempt at a skill, any skill. Oh we have wrestled since then and guess what? The Gospel wins the day. But its repetition is required.

Would that we all never grew weary of that life-giving repetition of the gospel. So here’s praying that you…and I will repeat this same gospel to ourselves as we repeat it to our ever-learning children with patience, clarity, and hope.

Grace and peace,
Ruth

Amen! And thanks, Ruth. I love you!
– t

HT: Pastor Anyabwile for linking to this great post by C.J. and Carolyn Mahaney:

How to Help Your Husband When He is Criticized

It’s a great read and I encourage you to check it out.

Hoping to make it home to Montana tonight and worship in my own church tomorrow–but very tight connections for THREE flights and a winter snow storm forecasting 10" for one of my airports! Eek!

Hope your weekend is going well–

Love,
Tara B.

Well ... THAT wasn’t the easiest trip I’ve ever done!

Snowfall in Minneapolis delayed my flight for almost four hours, so it was almost 3AM when we finally reached Atlanta.

THEN, the ENTIRE train system in the Atlanta airport was OUT OF ORDER. So we had to walk–LITERALLY A MILE–through an airless, hot basement tunnel to reach the end of the terminal.

THEN, I get to my hotel only to be told that I’ll have to wait “at least 15 minutes and maybe longer” because their computers are “out” because they are running some report or something.

So ... it’s after 3:00 in the morning, I am just now getting to my hotel room, and I am looking at a LOOOOOONG day today (Friday) and tomorrow (Saturday) and no guarantee I’ll make it home Saturday night. (It looks especially tenuous given this snow in the Midwest.)

But honestly? I’m doing OK. Tired. Hot & sweaty (walking a mile pulling my bags was FOR SURE the most activity I’ve had since we got the flu almost three weeks ago).

But safe. In a clean, cool hotel room drinking clean, cool water.

Fred walked me (via Bluetooth & Verizon!) off the plane and through the entire MILE of tunnel and rode with me in the cab and waited until I was safely ensconced in my room before heading to bed himself. (What a guy!)

And now, if I can rouse myself in the morning (I’ll set two alarms for sure!), I have the GREAT privilege of serving these precious women in Atlanta. What a gift! What an honor!

So ... off to sleep if I can tell my brain “shhhhhhhh” and actually wind down for even a few hours of shut-eye.

Grace to you, dear ones!

Your travelin' pal,
Tara B.

So here’s the “rest of the story” that I wanted to tell you re: clarifying questions ...

The longer I live, the more I am CONFIDENT that people RARELY hear what we say.

So many times, I THINK I’m listening to Fred, but really, I’m thinking about something else (planning what I need to get done that morning or thinking about something that happened with Sophie or planning what I’m going to SAY in response ... whatever). I’m not REALLY listening to him.

(And you can be sure that we often have little tiffs over things that I KNOW I told Fred, but he CLEARLY did not hear. )

This whole “we don’t hear one another well” phenomenon also happens to me a lot when I speak at a retreat or women’s conference.

Now, granted, I say a LOT of words at my events and I am the first one to admit that someone not hearing me or forgetting most of what I say is COMPLETELY understandable. But it is pretty common for me to receive either a question about something I KNOW I covered OR a criticism when someone thinks I SHOULD have said something, but didn’t. (But I KNOW that I did say that very thing!)

A few months ago, I received a confrontational email from someone who was very upset with me for–she THOUGHT–my critical attitude toward twelve-step/AA programs. In her email she commented on how “there is often more grace at an AA meeting than at most churches.”

Now, of course, the interesting thing to me is that, theology concerns aside (and I do have some theology concerns about 12-step programs) ... I ALWAYS SAY THOSE VERY SAME WORDS whenever I teach. (How many of YOU have heard me say that AA meetings often have a WAY more gracious and welcoming attitude than most churches? Thousands of you, I’m sure! Because I always say that!)

But for whatever reason, she didn’t hear me say that and she thought I was being disparaging about 12-step programs.

So here’s the thing ... I COULD HAVE been defensive with her and said, “But I KNOW I said that very thing at your event this weekend!” But what would that have gained anyone?

Whether I said it or not is REALLY not the issue. The real issue is that she was offended. In response, I had an opportunity to thank her for her criticism; affirm to her that I do not believe that 12-step programs should be demeaned or spoken of disrespectfully; let her know that I agree with her that AA meetings often have more “grace” than most churches; and also let her know that I do believe that they have helped millions and millions of people (just like my mom & stepdad who celebrated ten years of sobriety last November).

And so, that’s what I did.

So, to close, I just wanted to encourage you to remember that a lot of conflicts and hurts happen because we either don’t HEAR what the other person is saying or we don’t UNDERSTAND what they are saying.

But we can be loving and merciful to people when we realize that they didn’t hear what we said (because SO OFTEN we are not listening well either!).

AND, gentle, clarifying questions (not to box them into a corner or be defensive or show that we are RIGHT) can often help to diffuse conflicts before they escalate. You might even realize that you don’t even HAVE a conflict once you begin to REALLY listen to the other person and TRULY understand what they are saying.

Hope this helps you even in some tiny way!

I’m off to Georgia now. My schedule is CRAMMED until 1AM Saturday night, so if you don’t hear from me, I hope to resurface again on Sunday.

Joy to you!

With love,
Tara B.

A great read over at Challies.com:

Behind Closed Doors

(Oh! How often I am MOST tempted to sin when I THINK I am being anonymous.)

In just the last few weeks, Sophia’s violin instructor has begun to move her from the “purely by ear” Suzuki method to some basic note reading.

It has been SO fun to see her little brain make the connections between the note on the paper, the note she makes with her violin, AND the note she plays on the piano too. (She’s not taking piano lessons or anything–but she just likes to pluck out melodies and play around and have fun on the piano.)

ANYWAY ... this morning, as we were playing some note reading & rhythm lessons, out of the blue, she just started to have a grumpy, grouchy attitude ... putting her head down, using a rude tone with me, being exasperated, etc. This really frustrated ME and I was tempted to respond with a grouchy tone myself.

But here is grace for the day! Instead (even though I WAS really frustrated/mad), I put her violin away and asked her to come and sit with me on the chair. She was still pretty sullen and my heart wasn’t exactly cheerful.

So the first thing I did was pray–thanking God for His mercies and asking God for His help.

THEN, I asked Sophia if she could please help me to understand why she was suddenly acting so grouchy/mad. She said that she feels TERRIBLE when she, “does something BAD.”

So I asked her if she thought she was doing something BAD when she MADE MISTAKES (played the wrong note / couldn’t quite get the right rhythm) and she said YES.

Oh oh oh! My Momma heart was filled with mercy and suddenly, I wasn’t angry any more.

"Sophie," I explained, “When you make a mistake playing your violin music, you are NOT doing something BAD. You are simply LEARNING. No one can do EVERYTHING PERFECTLY the first time. The way we learn is by trying our best, making lots of mistakes, persevering and trying again. Over time, we LEARN. And then things that USED TO BE so hard for us, aren’t any more.”

“Did you know that daddy wasn’t ALWAYS so good at math?” I asked.
“Really?” her eyes lit up.
“Really! It’s true. When daddy was a little boy, he had to learn math little by little. He made lots of mistakes, but he kept trying. And over time, he became good at math.”

“EVERYONE has to make lots of mistakes in order to learn, Soph. And making mistakes is NOT bad. However, when you use a disrespectful tone of voice with me; hang you head and drop your bow and stomp your feet ... THAT is having a little tantrum and THAT IS bad. But making mistakes isn’t bad–it’s just how we learn.”

I can’t tell you just how much her countenance changed! Suddenly she was our happy, cheerful little girl again.

Oh! How grateful I am that God helped me to SLOW DOWN and PRAY and TALK with her–to better understand what she was thinking and feeling. Those pesky ol' CLARIFYING QUESTIONS that we use so often in Christian conciliation (mediation and arbitration) cases really do help.

That reminds me of another story I’ve been meaning to tell you ... but this post is already getting too long, so I’ll sign off for now.

I pray that even this very day, you are resting in God’s grace and remembering that His mercies truly are new each day.

Happy Thursday!

Yours,
Tara B.

Jill Carratini continues to be my all-time favorite writer/apologist over at Ravi Zacharias Ministries (well, except for Dr. Zacharias himself–it is always a joy to read his contributions too!).

Their Slice of Infinity daily e-devotional continues to be the only one I read each day. (Who has time to read e-devotionals? Not me! But I MAKE time for this one.)

I hope that you will read:

A Man of Sorrows

To tempt you with just an excerpt:

"There is, for me, immense comfort in a Christ who was not always smiling. As I picture his face set as flint toward Jerusalem, my fear is unfastened by his fortitude. As I imagine the urgency in his voice as he defended a guilty woman amidst a crowd holding rocks, my shame is freed by his mercy. And as I picture him weeping at the grave of Lazarus, crying out at injustice, sweating blood in the garden of Gethsemane, my tears are given depth by his own cries. I do not grieve alone."

Grace to you this Wednesday and each day!

God’s mercies are new this morning.

With love from a sleepy (didn’t get back to sleep until after 4:30AM!) but grateful gal,
Tara B.

Tim Challies hit it out of the park again with a fantastic blog on friendship/accountability.

Let me tease you with a tiny excerpt and then encourage you to pop on over to his site to read the entire post:

"Too many accountability relationships end there. They are incomplete, ending with sin or with sympathy. Confession is necessary and we may well sympathize with one another as we discuss sins that are common to all men. But we cannot and must not end there. Instead we must take those sins to the cross.

My pastor gave the wise advice Wednesday night that we must be prepared not only to look each other in the eyes to ask about sin, but also to look each other in the eyes and preach Jesus. We need more than confession and sympathy—we need the cross of Jesus Christ; we need the gospel so we can draw out that infection. We need to admonish, challenge, advise and always preach the gospel. As Harris says, “The most important thing we can do for each other when we talk about sin and temptation is to remind each other of God’s provision for our sin—the Cross of Jesus Christ.”

This is the kind of friends, the kind of brothers, we need to be. We need to be brothers who will ask the difficult questions—who will apply the heat—so that we can help one another draw out the infection.

“Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12)."

Today was a day filled with many conversations about children, parenting, and education choices.

Some of the moms in my church have been praying for one another and sharing wisdom together–and as the summer approaches, we are talking more frequently now about what our families' schedules might look like in the fall.

I have also been praying for a while now about how/if the Lord might allow our family to reach out more purposefully and proactively to help a single mom and her child–whom we just adore!–who are members of our church. And it sounds like a little “education/learning-oriented” help might be a good fit for the summer months and beyond.

So anyway ... I’m thinking about certain things that OH OH OH SO DO NOT seem to be a good fit for our family; things that might work out; books/blogs I’d like to read to start learning myself more about strengths/weaknesses of various educational strategies; just how grateful I am for the godly women around me who lavishly share their wisdom, experience, and insights to help our family (and our entire church!); and just how much I would LOVE to have EXTENDED conversations with certain friends about all of these things.

(Oh! I wish we could just hole up in a hotel somewhere for a long weekend and TALK and PRAY together about all of this stuff! HEY! Maybe we should DO IT. Anybody interested in a brainstorming / prepping / praying / laughing / encouraging each other extended “Moms trying to figure out some educational goals” type weekend getaway??)

But the things that struck me the most about all of this as I went throughout my day were:

- Relationships matter: More than “accomplishing this” or “being the best at that” ... OH! How I pray that our family would grow in gracious, gospel-proclaiming, loving God & loving neighbor relationships, no matter WHAT educational path we take.

- The genuine love and safety of even one or two REAL friends is a faint glimmer, a sweet aroma, a gentle touch of Heaven: I have come OH SO FAR AWAY from the “I can’t imagine I’ll ever have a friend / I just don’t fit in around Christian women” Tara of the past. Sure, some days I feel lonely and misunderstood. But love perseveres! And today I was overwhelmed with gratitude to God for the genuine and authentic friendships I have the privilege of enjoying with some amazing women. I am so grateful for friends!

- I have the hope that maybe, just MAYBE, I can find my AUTHENTIC SELF as I walk this path of wife to Fred and mom to Sophie and member of my local church who is just trying to be faithful with the day God gives her: For many years, I have felt like a fish out of water in pretty much every way possible. I have tried my best, but never felt like I had even a modicum of competency or “fitness” for what I was supposed to be doing.

Now, please do not understand me ... I surely do not feel either competent or “fit” for the tasks before me as a wife and mother and church member. BUT, I do feel HOPE (that I am where I am supposed to be) and ASSURANCE (that God’s grace IS sufficient for the day).

Maybe I am growing in grace, even in just the TINIEST way, in being “calm” and “quiet” as the Psalmist writes in Psalm 131:

"O Lord, my heart is not lifted up;
my eyes are not raised too high;
I do not occupy myself with things
too great and too marvelous for me.

But I have calmed and quieted my soul,
like a weaned child with its mother;
like a weaned child is my soul within me.

O Israel, hope in the Lord
from this time forth and forevermore."

I pray that it is so. Even just a little growth in quietness would be a great grace. Not restless. Not frenetic energy. But calm.

(Tara? Calm? Quiet? Surely, Jesus lives! )

OK. 2:30AM. Back to bed now–hopefully my mind will quiet and I can sleep again tonight.

Joy to you!

Your friend,
Tara B.

I continue to (slowly) enjoy Ed Welch’s latest book, "Running Scared: Fear, Worry, and the God of Rest."

Today’s chapter was on prayer. As usual, whenever I read anything on prayer or hear a sermon on prayer, I am sorely convicted as to just how little I pray.

His closing paragraph encouraged me, though, and I thought it might bless you too:

"If I know that prayer isn’t going to be easy, I am better prepared to deal with my excuses. For example, too often I will begin to pray, then gravitate to the things that worry me, start trying to solve them, realize I am not really prayer, and then decide to attend to the urgent matters and pray later. When I know that prayer is not natural, I realize that I shouldn’t wait for prayer to feel easy. If it seems hard, I am on the right path.

Now let’s do some praying."

Yes, let’s!

In our Bible reading last night, Sophie and I read together last night how God gives us His very presence by His Helper, The Holy Spirit, the Third Person of the Trinity.

"And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper, to be with you forever, even the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees him nor knows him. You know him, for he dwells with you and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." John 14:16-18

Ed Welch says, “The Spirit is the presence of Jesus to us.”

Let’s run to God today! He is with us “to the very end of the age” (Matthew 28:20).

Happy Tuesday to you all! May it be a blessed day of much prayer and praise.

Yours,
Tara B.

Oh my!

Have you ever been guilty of these GOSPEL COUNTERFEITS?!

Oh oh oh–I am running to the Cross.

(And heading home in my first of three airports for the day! THANK YOU for your prayers and encouraging emails. I believe (and hope!) that I served these dear, DEAR, women in Maryland well. I did my best! That’s all we can do, right?)

Grace to you!

Yours,
Tara B.

Earlier this week I had a troubled night ... restless, intense dreams, awake multiple times with FAILURE after FAILURE, SIN after SIN just pummeling my heart and mind.

But one time in the night I awoke from my tossing and turning and found I was singing inside my heart:

"No guilt in life! No fear in death! This is the power of Christ in me!"

And then I went to sleep.

Today? I am here, weak, tired, a little sad ... but SO longing to encourage and bless these dear women! SO longing to worship God and help others to do the same.

And this is the cry of my oft-lazy, sin-tempted heart:

"When Satan tempts me to despair and tells me of the sin within, upwards I look and see Him there! Who made an end to all my sin.

Because the sinless Savior died
My sinful soul is counted free
For God the JUST is satisfied
To look on Him and pardon me!

To look on Him and pardon me."

The gospel! The gospel!

The glorious Truth that sinful people like me CAN be and ARE forgiven.

Please pray for me if I flit through your brain this weekend. Other than my “speaker–into croaker–into whisperer–into couldn’t make a sound to save my life gal” women’s retreat in Alaska years and years ago, I don’t know when I’ve been so sick and had so many hours of standing on my feet teaching ahead of me.

May God help me to serve well! (He does. He does.)

Happy, Blessed Friday to you–

Yours,
Tara B.

Just a note to let you know that I am safe and sound on the east coast. I flew into Pennsylvania, and I’m currently in a hotel in, I think, New Jersey, and tomorrow we’ll go to a retreat center in ... hmmmm ... (had to go and look it up!) ... Maryland.

Fever was lower this morning at 4AM when I started my trek from Montana, so here’s hoping that I can serve, teach, and love these dear women well.

I probably won’t have internet access again until Sunday night–but if I can, I’ll try to catch up on some blogging.

THANKS for the cards & emails & kind words. I appreciate your patience and hope to be back to “normal” (hah!) soon.

With love,
Tara B.