considerable grace

Fred and I have come to the conclusion that–although we had the best of intentions and truly THOUGHT it would be OK–scheduling fourteen out of town trips for me in a five month period was just NOT WISE. And unless the Lord makes it clear to us that we should change our thinking in the future, we are not going to do it again.

Traveling isn’t hard for me.
I stay pretty much perpetually packed during my busy speaking season.

Sitting in an airport or on an airplane is no different for me than sitting on my couch at home–I can work, relax, rest, or veg out–OOPS! Except for one important difference ... I’M NOT HOME. And as “they” say, “The difference is all the difference.”

So we are looking ahead to the fall and next spring and praying for wisdom (and seeking counsel) concerning the invitations we receive to serve. We know it is hard, but saying “No” can be the right (and best) thing to do.

We do not want to willingly invite in this level of exhaustion and emotional isolation. It got pretty bad there towards the end. I think that having my dad in the hospital having multiple heart surgeries (again) and some other familial emergencies/stressful situations exacerbated the situation too.

So anyway ... I’m home. I started a new book! Soph and I did a lot of puzzles and played outside. Fred and I talked when he got home tonight.

Ahhhhh. Big breath. It’s all going to be OK.

Thank You, God, for forgiving me over and over again (and for helping the people around me to forgive me too!). And thank You for helping us to grow in wisdom–we have SO much to learn.

Desperate for mercy!
Banking everything I have on the mercy of God in Christ.

I remain–

Yours with love,
Tara B.

Our church was blessed to have Dr. Tim Lane (from The Christian Counseling and Educational Foundation) preach this morning. His text was from Ephesians and he made some excellent points about what wisdom is and how we become wise. Later in the day, at an ice cream social/discussion time, he also gave a great overview of the mission and vision of CCEF.

I usually enjoy getting to meet authors that I love and this time was no exception. Just like he comes across in his writings, Dr. Lane is thoughtful, humble, and winsome. And his wife is amazing! I only had the opportunity to chat with her for a few minutes, but wow! Her eyes are lit up with a passion for Christ and His Church and her family’s opportunity to serve both. She is obviously intelligent and gifted–and a loving wife and mother too. I wish I could’ve gotten to know her more. Our brief conversations were excellent reminders to me that as I pray for CCEF (and our pastors, elders, missionaries), I must always remember to pray for their families too.

Sophie and I are about to read George and Martha–The Complete Stories of Two Best Friends, so I need to run.

But before I go, let me share just a tiny portion of the two pages of sermon notes I took this morning:

- We grow in wisdom as we apply the gospel to the problems of every day life and “connect the dots” between our problem and the gospel of God’s grace. Only the grace of God can change our hearts.

- One metaphor for the Christian life is truth and love replacing lies and bitterness (Ephesians 4:25-5:7). We gain wisdom as we listen and learn–especially when we are suffering.

- Wisdom has both an inward and an outward focus. Yes, we are called to look very carefully at the details of our lives (what we are doing and why we are doing it); but we are also called to look outward–to serve and love other people.

- In general, there are two types of people: those who are prone to ACTIVISM and those who are prone to be DEPRESSIVE. For each, growth in grace will look different. For those of us who are prone to be DEPRESSIVE, a sign that we are growing in grace is how QUICKLY we run to Christ and how much we are beginning to move OUTWARD toward other people (to serve and love them).

I could go on and on–but George & Martha await.

Blessings to you and g'nite!
– Tara B.

Ahhhhhhh ... a Saturday at home. What a good thing.

The highlight for me was a painful and difficult–but ultimately redemptive–conversation with Fred. We’ve been going through a bit of a hard time relationally and it was a true grace that we could reconnect today. Fred did a great job in persevering in the conversation–I don’t think I would’ve tried if he hadn’t been so persistent and humble. So that was a hopeful way to start our day.

And then things got really FUN for me because I tackled the chaos in Sophie’s room! And you know how much I enjoy making order out of chaos.

I followed my standard 1-2-3 rule and:

1. Organized and made more accessible the things we use every day.

2. Organized and “filed”/stored the things we only need to access every once in awhile.

3. Archived/threw/boxed up to donate the things that we hardly ever need to access (archived) OR the things we never need to see again (threw away/donated).

It took around nine hours of hard work–but it was worth it. From this:



To this:



I particularly enjoyed getting the closet under control:



Oh! And I found the coolest way to bring a little order to Sophie’s (constant!) artwortk. These frames have little hinges so that I can easily switch out the Sophie-art-du-jour. And they are “deep” so I can store old prints behind the new ones. Cool!



Hope you enjoyed a lovely day too!

We’re so looking forward to worship tomorrow. Sunday! The best day of the week.

Love ya,
Tara B.

Sophie and I can’t stop singing the “5 A’s of Confession” song from The Peacemaker Clubs Vacation Bible School, so we thought we’d share it with you too:



It was so fun last night when Sophie made a confession to me and I could practically SEE the little wheels in her mind churning away as she processed the “5 A's” AND made a more thorough apology as a result.

Here is the video we made earlier in the week when the PUPPETS demonstrated an apology for us:



Thanks, Pastor Jeff Hamling, for creating such a wonderful resource to help children learn how to resolve conflict in a biblically-faithful, Christ-centered, redemptive manner!



Hooray for The Peacemaker Clubs!

With joy,
Tara B.

I just have to say ... Bozeman has the NICEST tow-truck drivers!

I mean, Wow! Part therapist, part comforting father figure, super-cool-mechanical-I-can-hitch-your-car-up-in-a-jiffy “man’s man” ... Bozeman’s tow-truck drivers are GREAT.

But honestly? I wouldn’t mind not having to see them on my NEXT trip since my last time meeting them in Bozeman was so terrifying.

This tow was much less “exciting” but adrenaline still fritzed out my brain so I didn’t have the presence of mind to grab my camera and snap a shot of our poor old purple Honda being towed away (with Sophie clinging to my leg and crying, “Bye little car! Bye little car!” and Scout praying that our car would “stay sick so we’d have to go to their home in Helena” ).

Our car’s blue book value is practically zero because it’s so old. So we are officially in that “Larry Burkett / weigh the cost of a new-used car versus repairs” season of car ownership, so when my temperature gauge jumped to H in a nanosecond and white steam/smoke was pouring out from the under the hood with a horrible HISSSSSSING sound too? Well, it wasn’t a great moment. (Especially because we had just put another $2,000 of repairs into it thinking we could possibly eek out a few more years.)

BUT ... it just WAS a great moment in that it happened right THEN and right THERE. Ten minutes later (literally!) and Sophie and I would’ve been stranded on the side of a mountain. (Literally. The first fifteen minutes of driving from Bozeman to Billings are pretty much straight up and then straight down a mountain.)



Instead, we were in town, able to get a tow, AND we even found a mechanic who could help.

No, it wasn’t very fun. My head immediately started spinning:

- What if the car is DEAD?! Why did we waste that money on repairs? How will we get home? How will we be able to get a new-used car?

- What if it’s fixable, but not for a few days? Weeks? How will I take care of Sophie in Bozeman if I can’t drive and get her food? We don’t have clothes. How will we afford a hotel for an indefinite amount of time?

And on and on.

It’s amazing, isn’t it, how QUICKLY we can CATASTROPHIZE things? But really? There is grace for the MOMENT. Grace for the need.

- That’s Samara’s heart–a heart of faith. Knowing that this was hard, but not a tragedy. We were safe and we would find a way to work everything out.

- And Fred’s heart–concerned about me, but with a calm assurance that helped me to think through my next steps.

- And Pastor Jeff’s too! As he called a deacon and then called auto repair shops on my behalf. Busy, much going on, clubs happening AS all of this is unfolding ... but never to busy to help. His wife immediately offered their home, car, whatever we needed. TJ and Samara were cooking up plans to drive us all the way to Helena (Scout’s prayer ) and/or all the way home to Billings.

And actually? Everything just worked out. It was a repairable problem. They assured me that we’d be safe on the mountain. (And we were.) And now we’re home.

“Lord, increase my faith!” Because boy! In those moments, it is SO easy for all of my theology to just FLY OUT THE WINDOW and what I “really” believe comes squirting out of my prone-to-wander heart.

Thank God for His mercy! I’m lost without it.

Hope you have a tow-truck-free day–

Sending you love,
Tara B.

This is too fun! And insightful too:

Wordle of New Testament Books

(HT: 9Marks!)

We’re having a wonderful time in Bozeman! Samara, Scout & William drove down from Helena and Sophia and I made it over the mountains (we were praying for our old Honda!) to meet them:



We stopped by The Peacemaker Clubs to learn more about how to make a “5 A’s Apology” – and have lots of fun with games, puppets & songs too! Pastor Jeff (the author of The Peacemaker Clubs) was even there:



Pizza, swimming, a few books, some Bible & cuddling & lots of giggles and we’re all heading to BED.

Hope you had a lovely day too!

Yours,
Tara B.

PS
Just in case you’d like to see The Peacemaker Clubs' “5 A’s of an Apology” in action (via puppets), I made a little video for you:

I am continuing my “up & down” life re: eating in a moderate and disciplined manner. But I continue to be encouraged (and convicted!) by friends like Pastor JollyBlogger and PalmTreePundit who gently model godly eating for us all. (Thanks Pastor J. & Anne! )

Yesterday I received what I thought was some good counsel so I thought I’d share it here:

Rather than trying (AGAIN!) to “cut out all of the bad stuff” in one fell swoop ... this person encouraged me to ADD IN one good thing.

So, for instance, you all know that SODA can be a real downfall for me. That once I give myself permission to drink soda, I often (like now) drink it even when I don’t WANT IT (out of habit/routine).

Well ... she encouraged me to drink one glass of water after each time I drink a soda; just tell myself in advance, “Fine, enjoy your soda. But your next drink will be a big glass of water.”

And I think that might really encourage/help me in this ol' battle of faith’s fight against sin because the truth is once I start drinking water, I CRAVE water and really enjoy it. It actually tastes better than soda and it REALLY does satisfy better. Plus, I FEEL BETTER when I drink water.

So anyway ... no big insights here. I’m sure you all know this, but I woke up thinking about it and thanking God for continued encouragement in this area of my life, so I thought I’d share it.

Baby steps, baby steps. No perfection this side of Heaven, right?

I’m off to friend/prayer group now–

Much love and blessings,
Tara B.

My original Thomas the Tank Engine for GIRLS blog post continues to receive a LOT of traffic.

I really think there is a HUGELY untapped market here and if I had money to invest (or any related SKILLS–like the ability to SEW), I’d jump in and start advertising on ebay or something.

C'mon Thomas! Where’s the PINK! Give us some LADY & Gordon & James & Percy in cool PASTELS or frilly skirts. We’d buy ‘em! We’d wear ’em! You could be rich(er) and our girls would be thrilled.

PS
To the recent commenter … no, I don’t think I could sell you her Thomas the Tank Engine Sun Dress. Made by beloved Grandma Chris?! That’s staying in the family treasures area. Sorry we couldn’t help out!

I just got the sad news that my pastor, Jason Barrie, is no longer available to co-teach with me at this year’s Peacemaker Conference. (Bummer for us! But HOORAY for the Peacemaker Leaders Materials that he is helping to create.)

So anyway ... I need to rework my “women’s track” workshops and I was wondering if ANY of these workshops would sound interesting to you if you were at the conference:

1. The Peacemaker Women’s Study—Living the Gospel in Relationships: Do you ever wonder why relationships among Christian women can sometimes be shallow, competitive, or even non-existent? Would you like encouragement and practical help for growing authentic and grace-filled relationships? In this workshop, we will introduce the brand-new Peacemaker Women’s Study and provide everything you need to evaluate how it might fit into your church, women’s ministry, or personal devotions. Come and be encouraged as we drink deeply of God’s grace and learn to minister that grace to others.

2. Grace for Women with Strong Gifts and the Men Who Lead Them (co-taught with David Edling): It may seem counterintuitive and downright ironic, but gifted women who are passionate about peacemaking often get into profound conflicts with their leaders. These conflicts may be personality-driven (especially when the woman has a “powerful personality”) or tied to differing priorities (so issues regarding authority and submission emerge). But whatever the source of the conflicts, there is grace for the relationship. In this workshop, Dave Edling and Tara Barthel will share candidly about the conflicts they had with one another while on staff at Peacemaker Ministries, and give practical advice as to how the gospel of grace helped them to accept, serve, and grow to delight in one another.

3. Living as a Peacemaking Woman in a Difficult Marriage: Sadly, many women suffer greatly in their marriages. They may be married to an unbeliever, or their husbands may have severe areas of immaturity and sin that cause great heartache and pain for the entire family. This workshop will explain what it looks like for a woman to be so rooted in the grace and glory of the gospel of Jesus Christ that she can respond to even a difficult spouse with patience, kindness, and “wisdom from Heaven” (James 3). Specific examples of how the church can help in these difficult marriages will be discussed.

4. Living the Gospel with Addicts and Other Difficult Loved Ones: People often ask me how I have developed a loving and grace-filled relationship with my mother, given the fact that for most of my life, she has struggled with bipolar (manic/depressive/suicidal) tendencies, drank alcohol to excess, made foolish decisions concerning money, and directed a large amount of disdain and hatred toward me (especially when I was a child). This workshop will explain what “wisdom from Heaven” (James 3) looks like when we are striving to live the gospel in these difficult relationships. (Please note: I have my mother’s permission and blessing to share our story.)

So what do you think?

Helpful? Potentially helpful?
Is there a different topic you think I REALLY should do?

I try to think back on the questions I am most asked at events AND the areas of suffering (with God, others, and within) that I hear about over and over again on my “Friday Night Fred & Tara Will Pray for You” cards at overnight women’s retreats.

Thanks in advance for sharing your counsel with me!

And I hope you’re having a great day–

I ALMOST have us unpacked ... I’ve paid bills, dealt with two weeks of mail, cuddled with my daughter and dog, read, blogged, dealt with email, made meals, finished a teleconference ALL IN MY PJ’s. Ahhhhh. I am a blessed woman.

Joy to you!

Yours,
Tara B.

PS
Don’t let the first workshop description fool you ... I still have not received any “FINAL FINAL” word that Peacemakers is going to carry my DVD series as their women’s study. But they seem pretty interested and they asked me to draft wording for a workshop on it “just in case.”

Is your church currently searching for a pastor? Or has your church EVER searched for a pastor? Or MIGHT your church search for a pastor in the future?

If so, then you should read this article by Pastor Anyabwile:

Want Ads, Witch Trials, and Pastor Searches

One line of it really struck me:

"... few committees seem to really carefully search ..."

I think it stuck out because of an interesting conversation I had last week ...

It was with a pastor who was calling because his state’s denominational women’s conference was considering inviting me to serve, but first he (and his committee that oversees the conference) needed to ask me some doctrinal questions.

How GREAT is THAT?!

I LOVE it when a church or denomination CARES ENOUGH to check me out. They should! Everyone should. It’s so wise to be so careful.

(Not to equate my teeny-tiny efforts to serve at women’s retreats or conferences with being a PASTOR or anything. I would never mean to imply that! I just thought it was wonderful that they were CAREFUL.)

How grateful I am for the local church. Accountability & encouragement. Discipline & counsel. Oversight re: doctrine and life. I’m desperate for it all.

I’m also almost home! We’re in the MSP WorldClub (I wonder how many blogs I’ve posted from this WorldClub?) and should board our flight to Billings in a few minutes. We’re all agreed that we’re going to wake up Lilikoi when we get home because we ALL want to give her some scritches and lovies.

Hope your Monday was a good one!

Grace to you,
Tara B.

We’re having a blast with Uncle Paul, Aunt Janet, and cousins Emily, Samuel, and Elizabeth!



Sophia even got to pick her own strawberries and make JAM!





Hope you enjoy a lovely Sabbath!

Yours,
Tara B.

Pastor Anyabwile continues to knock it out of the park on his PureChurch blog:

Repentance and the 21st Century Man

He includes a lengthy quote by C. John Miller. Consider just an excerpt (emphases mine):

"Effective counseling is principally a carrying forward in private of specific applications of the preaching ministry in the church. The gospel message is announced boldly in a public context and given added effectiveness by a one-to-one follow-up in dealing with particular idols which Christ wants removed from each of our lives. Such confrontation in preaching and counseling involves a sensitivity to the heart cries of men. It combines tears and truth, as we bow together before the discipline of God’s Word.

The warfare here is spiritual and calls for great courage on the part of God’s ambassadors.

Courage!

Courage to ask if you are lulling men to sleep by a message that fosters self-congratulation rather than repentance to life.

Courage first to teach your own heart and then to teach others that there are only two ways to stand before God: either as a contrite publican or as a self-righteous Pharisee (Luke 18:9-14)."

Oh, how I LOVE PalmTreePundit!!

Thank you, Anne, for linking to the giggle:

Prayers for Myers-Briggs Types

Here’s mine:

"INTJ: Lord, keep me open to other’s ideas, *wrong* though they may be."

I totally laughed at ALL of them! But especially:

- ISTP: God, help me to consider people’s feelings, even if most of them ARE hypersensitive. (This is Fred’s personality type! )

- ISFJ: Lord, help me to be more laid back and help me to do it EXACTLY right.

- NFP: God, help me to keep my mind on one th - Look a bird! - at a time.

(HT: Coffee Klatch)

Please read this:

A Rainey-Mutz Update

"We cannot Lord, Thy purpose see
But all is well that’s done by Thee."

(Thanks, Challies.com!)

I craved a giggle this morning, so I opened up the cartoons that Craig Faust (brilliantly) drew after one of my events years ago. (Thanks again, Craig, for drawing this, sharing it with me, and allowing me to post it too!)



(Don’t you just love the dog’s eyes??)

I’m off to teach now! Slept fitfully and woke up sick. Hmmmmmm ... maybe I’ve been pushing a little too hard. Oh well, it’s only two eight-hour days of teaching ahead of me, how bad can it be?

Have a lovely Friday!

Yours,
Tara B.

Thanks to Tim Challies for calling us all to pray:

Pray for the Rainey Family

My Pastor (Jason Barrie) and I spent an hour on the phone yesterday with my (dear! brilliant! beloved!) friend (and co-author), Judy Dabler. We were seeking her counsel on a workshop that Pastor Jason, Dave Edling (the “Cap'n Dave” I refer to in my teachings), and I will be doing at this fall’s Peacemaker Conference.

The topic is:

Grace for Women with Strong Gifts (and the Men Who Lead Them)

and it builds on the "Powerful Personalities" workshop I did in 2007 by including the perspective of two MEN with whom I have worked.

We’re basically going to tell a little bit of our stories. (Initially, my relationship with these (brilliant! godly! wonderful!) men was quite rocky ... but over time, as we all grew in wisdom, repented of sins (like pride and lack of love), and really got to know one another (which took time and effort), we truly began to delight in each other.

Yes, we are still all three VERY different personalities with quite diverse gifts. Yes, we can bug each other and occasionally hurt and offend each other. But no longer do we dread each other. We are not tempted to blame the other person and pull out the “You’re warping headship in domination!” or “Why don’t you just SUBMIT!” cards. We are genuine friends and I cherish these men.

ANYWAY ... as I’m getting ready this morning to serve at my event (please pray for me for the next three days, by the way!), I’ve been thinking of one of the points that Judy made during the call.

She reminded us that, especially for Christian men who truly want to keep s*xual boundaries “honorable” and “above reproach,” there can be a huge DISTANCE between men and women–especially when they work together in a ministry or church. Wisdom, caution, and accountability are great (of course)!

But if a man is already feeling threatened (because of his own sins of Fear of Man or pride), and he never gets to know the woman, it is almost impossible for their relationship to be one of Shalom. You can’t truly encourage someone if you keep them at arm’s length and never get to know them.

I thought back to my days of working as the only female associate attorney in a “boutique” high net worth estate planning firm–and all of the rounds of golf and cigars I missed out on. (Not that I really minded–but you get the point.)

I’ve worked for Christian men who always made time for their male coworkers and subordinates, taking them out for regular meals, talking at length on business trips ... but who would never take me out for a “atta boy” lunch (to avoid even the appearance of impropriety) and literally would “shun” me when happened to have to travel together (not acknowledge me in an airport, never sit near me in the boarding area (again, just wanting to avoid the appearance of impropriety).

I don’t question being WAY WAY WAY above board in how men and women relate. (Billy Graham was an amazing example of that and he never ONCE had a charge of inappropriateness brought against him.) And I would never want to encourage someone to violate his or her conscience. BUT ... if those are the wisdom calls you are going to make, then it seems to me that you both need to prayerfully and creatively come up with ways to still get to know, enjoy, and even DELIGHT IN one another ... or else your relationship is going go suffer.

That’s what happened with both my Pastor Jason and Can'n Dave. They got to know me (in appropriate ways) and I got to know them. (Oh, and a bunch of repentance and faith and forgiveness too.) But mostly? We became friends who genuinely cared about each other, considered each other’s interests, looked out for each other, prayed for each other (you know ... the “one anothering” Bible passages!). So we had (and have) a foundation of gospel-infused care when the rough times come. (And the rough times WILL come because that’s the nature of all relationships–especially relationships in crazy busy intense situations like being together on a church staff or ministry staff.)

OK. Must run now.

I hope you have a great Thursday! I’ll try to post over the weekend ... but I am teaching solo from 9AM - 5PM Friday & Saturday, so I might be a little hard to reach.

Grace to you!

Yours,
Tara B.

(OK. Maybe this series of photos IS “Sports Illustrated Worthy”. Line drive. Knocked his hat RIGHT off. )

Oh! Please do not miss this astounding article in World Magazine by Marvin Olasky:

Communion with St. Paul–That God might be glorified in Addis Abba

I sat on an airplane last week and WEPT as I read of the ministry of Dr. and Mrs. Paul Lim. Dr. Lim left his profitable plastic surgery practice and comfortable life in the United States to minister to the poorest of the poor; the most rejected people in society.

There was story after story of grace in action! Consider just a few:

"A teenage mom walked in holding a 1-month-old with a completely cleft lip. She sat, gazed at her baby, and smiled—no, glowed: She’s in love with her baby. The father, a few years older, wearing a Michael Jordan 23 shirt, was unsmiling. When Lim said, “We will fix his lip,” the mom beamed even more broadly, but the father remained stern.

Then Lim said, “Jesus brought me, brought us, here for him.” The man suddenly smiled, as if just getting it, and enthusiastically shook the doctor’s hand.

A 13-year-old girl slipped in, holding up her scarf to cover her mouth. She uncovered her mouth only when seated before Lim—and her reason for hiding behind her scarf was immediately obvious. Lim maintained his composure, examined her, and said to the translator, “Tell her that she will need more than one operation. We will do everything we can to help. Jesus brought us here, brought us all here, for her.”

The girl again covered her mouth as she went out. Lim mentioned to me, “That’s the first time I’ve seen this in person. We don’t have this in the U.S.—I only saw pictures before.”

A 12-year-old came in with his mouth frozen in a grimace. Malnourishment had provided the base for an infection when he was 5. Now he is missing a lot of tissue, skin, and part of his mouth. He had wanted to commit suicide, but Lim said, “We can help you. Jesus brought me, brought us here, for you.” The grimace did not, could not (for now) change—but it will"

I want to be like Dr. Lim!

Oh, God, please turn me away from my oft' selfish, petty heart!!
And cause me to love YOU so much that your love SPLASHES OUT on the people around me.

Thank You for forgiving me all my sins!

Your grateful sheep,
Tara B.

I love to read testimonies and this one is a keeper:

The Greatest College Basketball Player of All Time

Thanks, Pastor Mahanney, for another (edifying! fun!) wonderful read.

Well ... we all knew that this day was coming, but we didn’t know that it would arrive yesterday at the “Inside Ancient Egypt” exhibit at The Chicago Field Museum. But it did.

Ever since the very day we brought Sophia home from the hospital and she was immediately BELOVED by our dearest friends, my sister (Kali) and “her Fred” (Fred MacRae) ...



(Do you see Choza peeking in the corner there? And that’s Grandma Marjorie–Fred’s MacRae’s mom–too!)

... We knew that as Sophia grew up, we would have to have a PLAN for how to (gently! winsomely!) handle the clash of our worldviews that was sure to happen.

You see, Kali & “her Fred” are our dearest friends. And they are not Christians. They are “rational naturalists.” (Think genius-level Ivy League grads who are huge “Scientific American” fans and you’ll have a sense of their worldviews.)

They are also extraordinarily loving, gentle, generous, kind and VERY careful to be respectful of our beliefs (even though they disagree with them).

We occasionally talk openly about the claims of Christ, philosophy, religion, etc. ... and they both DEFINITELY “know” the gospel (better than most Christians, I think). But they don’t believe it. Knowledge is not belief and knowledge does not save.

ANYWAY ... since we’re such good friends, we knew we would have to figure out “a plan” for navigating the DIRECT questions that were sure to come from my “talks a lot about Jesus and God and spiritual things all the time” kid. But when the first “put you right on the spot” question came yesterday ("And YOU love JESUS, right Auntie Kali?") ... to quote my beloved sister:

"I didn’t have a plan! So I just said YES!"

She laughed in the retelling late last night. She wasn’t offended or worried (nor was her Fred).

They honestly want to support our raising of Sophia, not challenge us ...
And they realize that the time for having discussions about whether morality and religions “are equal” is NOT when a child is four years old.

So, instead, they took her through the Ancient Eqypt exhibit and explained how the Egyptians “were mistaken” because they thought they needed boats and servants to “get to Heaven”, rather than Jesus. They affirmed all of the Old Testament stories and teachings about the Israelites being slaves and God using Pharaoh to “let His people go!”

Basically, they were their typical, honoring, loving, WONDERFUL selves and that’s why we trust them with Sophia in any environment at any time. And I know a lot of Christian parents with non-Christian family members can’t say the same thing.

I am SO grateful for the care and friendship!

But I REALLY want us to come up with a better “PLAN!” I don’t want them to “have to” lie and say they love Jesus. I appreciate that they don’t want to confuse Sophia, but I want them to be 100% comfortable with how we interact and I want them to KNOW that we LOVE them just as they are. (We just also pray that they will one day see their need for The Savior and reach out to Jesus with saving faith!)

Anyway ... the boys are still sleeping and we’ll be heading into our day soon. I think we’re going to Navy Pier today, so that’ll be great.

Thank you SO much for the prayers!! Sorry I was such a grouch about the DVD project. I really think that whenever I have a HUGE project due, I usually just FREAK OUT emotionally about anything and everything. Since I stayed up until almost 2AM getting ready for my event this coming weekend (Thurs-Sun), I am feeling MUCH better about everything in life. Including the DVD project. I am honored that Peacemakers is considering it and I trust that if the changes they require violate my conscience, then I will simply have to gently decline. No need to freak out.

Hope you have a lovely Tuesday!

Yours,
Tara B.

I just stepped onto the scale and EEK! It’s time to buckle down re: food. Again.

(Clearly this is going to be a life-long battle for me.)

As soon as I get home, I’m going to print out an article by Lydia Brownback at the Purple Cellar and spend some time really mulling and praying over it:

Five Hindrances to Self-Control

I also am going to start a book on living with moderation (not usually a forte for me).

Hang in there Peace with Food Gals! Our struggle with sin is very public–but God doesn’t love us any less. He looks at us and sees the perfect, God-honoring, moderate, temperate self-control of His Son. We are truly “already but NOT YET!”

With much love from your “pants are snug again” friend,
Tara B.

(I just received this email from Peacemakers and wanted to be sure to let you know. Please come and live in beautiful Montana with all of us peacemaking folk! )

Director of Team and Network Support

Peacemaker Ministries is an international ministry based in Billings, Montana that exists to assist and equip Christians and their churches to respond to conflict biblically. We are a team of forty staff with a network of 150 Certified Conciliators working together to encourage a culture of peace in churches around the world.

We are currently seeking an individual to join the Peacemaker staff as our Director of Team and Network Support. This individual will develop, promote, and strengthen relationships with church-based reconciliation ministry teams and team networks. This will include oversight of activities and communication that will lead to team and network formation and support.

The ideal candidate must demonstrate strong communication and administrative skills. Applicants must be able to work in concert with others to achieve common goals. A minimum of 3 years of experience as a church staff or lay leader is required. Applicants must be familiar with Peacemaker Ministries’ Certification Program and be prepared to complete the Certification training within 12 months of hiring. A BA or BS degree is required for this position. The ideal candidate will demonstrate strong writing, computer, and management skills.

The Director of Team and Network Support must have a broad understanding of biblical themes and biblical systematic theology as well as in-depth knowledge and experience in the application of biblical peacemaking principles to life experiences and their relationship with secular worldviews.

This is a full-time position with a generous benefits package, including:

- Starting salary of $48,000 per year
- 100% of health insurance premiums paid for employee and dependants
- Matching 401(k) program
- Long-term disability and life insurance policies
- Paid vacation and sick leave

Applicants must be able to endorse biblical peacemaking by affirming Peacemaker Ministries Statement of Faith and be a member in good standing of a Christian church. For more information about this position, please visit our website at www.Peacemaker.net or contact Jonathan Boll, Operations Director, at jboll@peacemaker.net or by phone at 406-256-1583 ext. 114.

Applications for this position will be received until June 30, 2008.

OK. I know I’m no photographer for Sports Illustrated or anything (don’t they have the most amazing photos??!!) ... but even my little “point and shoot” Momma Camera caught some fun pics during our outing yesterday ...



And my FAVORITE photo (so funny!):



Yeah! Rah! for HOT CEMENT to warm up on!



... and a good time was had by all ...

Whenever I am tempted to be discouraged or frustrated by all of these DVD-related details, I hear Sophie’s voice whispering in my ear:

"God will help you, Momma."

And I thank God for ALL of the men and women who continue to help me to hear, learn, believe and APPLY the gospel of Jesus Christ.

I see my friend, Joe, laboring HOUR AFTER HOUR on his own personal time, editing those DVDs NIGHT AFTER NIGHT and DAY AFTER DAY ...

Hearing my stories (again!), cringing at my mis-speaks and then FIXING them so that you can cringe a little less. And why? For money? NOPE! Not one dime. For fame? Well ... he SHOULD be famous ( !) ... but really?Because what motivates him to use his genius brain power, eagle-eye proofing, and technical brilliance is THE GOSPEL. He wanted to encourage women (and thus, through their relationships, men, children, pastors, church members, church leaders, coworkers ... EVERYONE!) to believe that God truly DELIGHTS in saving His children!



And then I glance to my right and see my beloved husband. Glued to his laptop yet again. Working hard on a Peacemakers project. Persevering with me even though we are going through quite a long rough patch relationally.

How did I even have anything to say on those videos? Fred watched Sophia for hour after hour, day after day, weekend after weekend, year after year, as they cheerfully sent me on my way to speak to 10,000+ women at retreats and conferences. Then he sat for HOURS and proofed and proofed (and now he has to RE-proof to “edit it down” to be more accessible to an even broader audience). We squabble and quarrel–and it is SO not pleasant. And yet he perseveres. Why? THE GOSPEL.

Clearly, I could never merit such a man.

I am grateful. I am. And so I pray for God’s help to keep going myself and just GET IT DONE. Again.

I’d really like to move on to another project ... book ... teaching ...
But first I must finish the job before me, right?

I’m glad Sophie is happily off on an Auntie & Uncle adventure involving Chicago museums & dolphins & dinosaurs & pyramids!

Thanks for the attitude check.
Blessed, happy Monday to you all!!

With much love,
Tara B.

Well ... it’s been a real life day.

Some things are sweet! Some things are hard. Basically just life.

We took a family walk (a big goal on this trip! outdoor exercise/fresh air every day! I even packed my tennis shoes).

Ended up at a Greek Orthodox Church (we missed being in church on Sunday morning!) ... quite a cultural experience. Lent itself to some good conversations about how blessed we are to have the Bible in our own language.

Walked to a park. I fell asleep on a bench while they played and played and played.

One more stop on the way home for some sidewalk chalk and outside toys–and our day was pretty much spent coloring, resting, organizing suitcases (MY happy place), and QUICKLY writing and uploading five ghost-writing articles that were actually due yesterday (oops! sorry! my bad!).

Oh–and Fred and I had a brief, but intense and not altogether pleasant conversation about some of the changes that Peacemakers wants to make to the DVD series if they are going to pick it up and make it their own.

Please do pray for us! A part of me HATES to see it change. I cry over the watering-down of the GLORY of God’s grace in sovereignly ordaining the salvation for His children! (As if we have ANYTHING to contribute to our salvation other than our SIN!)

I can’t BELIEVE that they want to take out Trudy’s (AMAZING! GLORIOUS! GOD-CENTERED!) music! I truly thought that our call to WORSHIP GOD through her songs was one of the absolute BEST parts of the entire series.

Oh oh oh oh OH! When things get hard, I am really tempted to say, “Forget it! We’ll just keep it as is and serve our tiny sphere of influence!” (And maybe that’s the final decision that we’ll end up with.)

But for now ... Fred’s in a VERY awkward place being married to me and facilitating lots of diverse/competing interests and opinions.

Maybe I should just “roll with it.” Close my eyes, remember how many MORE people can be and will be helped through their distribution channels and just tell them, “Do what you want.”

It’s just a very hard thing. Makes me want to start a BRAND NEW video series for both MEN AND WOMEN, cotaught with my pastor (Jason Barrie)–where we talk about all of these things in the context of the local church ... biblical peacemaking, authentic and redemptive relationships, grace-based marriages & grace-based parenting, the GIFT of formative AND judicial church discipline, ongoing biblical counseling, etc. etc.

And so ... I’m just going to do my little tasks associated with this old project (sketch out a “lead in” for how it fits in to “The Peacemaking Church”; shorten my “Thank You's” to only one page (sorry to everyone that I have to cut out!); significantly cut my personal note at the end. No Trudy songs. No “behind the scenes/bloopers.”

A different product is coming your way soon. I’m trying to keep at the forefront of my heart and mind that our goal is to encourage, serve, and equip the most people we can. SDG.

(But if you want the current version with all of this stuff AND for the much lower price, the time window is rapidly shrinking.)

Hope your Sabbath was a lovely day of rest!

Yours,
Tara B.

Thanks for the prayers and encouragement! The day went very well. Lots of funny stories to tell ... but I’m beat, so I’m just going to post a few pics and go cuddle with Sophia and go to SLEEP.

Hope your Sabbath is blessed tomorrow!! Sunday! The best day of the week.

Love you bunches,
Tara B.

Off we go to American Girl Place!



The Bitty Bear & Bitty Puppy & Bitty Kitty Show was very fun!



But the horse-drawn carriage ride (complete with an “especially for Sophia Grace” SIGN and a take-home super-soft fuzzy HORSE plush toy too) was a BIG HIT:





Fred surprised us for lunch at the Grand Luxe Cafe! (A total FAVORITE ever since my Naperville Presbyterian Church women’s retreat team took me there last January!! Yummmmy!!)



And we played on a water slide in the backyard at the end of a beautiful day!



Grace Abounds!
We are a blessed lot.

We’re very happy to be in Chicago!

Everything went fine flying out from Billings yesterday (and my wonderful local NWA crew even upgraded us ALL, so that was fun!):



We’re off to American Girl place in about an hour but (as usual), I’m up early. I am really praying for the grace to be praying! Sometimes I can just be SO discouraged and “off” on vacations.

- Is it like CS Lewis described in one of his essays? I’m just out of my routines in general so it can be easy to be out of my spiritual discipline routines too?

- Sometimes I just get SO annoyed with myself! I KNOW I’m coming across as unhappy or unpleasant ... but I don’t know how to CHANGE! I’m actually really GRATEFUL to be here, but at the same time I can feel frustrated and easily annoyed. (1 Corinthians 13! Easily annoyed is the OPPOSITE of love! ERGH!!)

- I want to just RELAX and be someone who is EASY to be around. But oh oh oh! It’s my propensity to organize the bags (one more time), get things ready (one more time!), not know how to just BE. But at least I recognize it, right? That’s a step. It’s growth to even see my need, I know.

And so I’d better get going.

Fred’s doing a great job leading our family and carefully (though not perfectly!) setting a better tone for our family on this trip. Those wonderful articles by CJ Mahanney on Vacations have really helped him. He printed them off and we’re referring to them. And PRAYING. (Hooray!)

I’ll try to post more pictures later. THANK YOU for the blog comments and prayers!! I do so appreciate it. I’m not sure you can imagine how much.

I pray that Sophia enjoys our special day with a happy and grateful heart! She loves being here with Kali & Fred.



Blessed Saturday to you!

Yours,
Tara B.

I hope that your Friday is off to a great start!

My “pack” (Fred, Sophie & Lilikoi) are all still snoozing away and I am taking advantage of my FAVORITE (and most productive!) time of the day–early morning–to do some last minute prep for our family’s trip, Dryel a blouse or two (don’t you just LOVE Dryel?!), AND continue my efforts to TRY to prepare for to serve the church where I will speak next weekend (Thursday-Saturday).

Hence the prayer request ...

After a few days of FUN FUN CHICAGO FUN with my family, on Wednesday, I will go to the Milwaukee area to:

1. Share my testimony on Thursday night with a group of around 150 women (many of whom are seekers); and

2. (All day Friday and all day Saturday): Teach, facilitate group exercises and group discussions, and lead a (growing) group of church leaders and lay leaders who would like to learn better how to help OTHERS who are in conflict.

Peacemakers has graciously allowed me to use some of their materials–but I am creating all custom role-plays and exercises (with the HOPE that the church will get excited about the topic AND the model and then bring Peacemakers back to do a REAL “Peacemaking Church” initiative with their REAL Practicum training events).

ANYWAY ... some HUGE HUGE details changed as of yesterday morning, so I’ve been mulling and mulling and praying about how to “tweak” the structure/schedule/role-plays and now I have to leave on our trip WITHOUT EVERYTHING DONE. Eek!

In a way it’s fun and exciting. (Reminds me of the times I’ve served overseas organizations and missions organizations with similar trainings ... everything is last-minute and fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants and wonder-how-this-is-going-to-work-out and all that. (But it always DOES work out.)

But in a way, it’s a little scary and hard ... Rather than being in COMPLETE have fun traveling with my family mode, I also have to pull this together in the next couple of days. And I don’t see a long stretch of uninterrupted work time on the horizon. (I work best on big projects like this when I can just wall myself off, away from EVERYONE, and really CRANK.)

I do so long to serve them well! To encourage them in the gospel! Direct them to God’s Word and wonderful resources to help them to understand and OBEY God’s Word, etc. etc. So your prayers would be very appreciated.

Oh! And I also wanted to say THANKS to all of you BRAVE LURKERS who actually left a comment on our Free Stuff! Free Stuff! Giveaway. I know how hard it is to try new things (especially related to technology!) ... so great job!

AND ... I’d love to send the “runners up” a little goodie too, if you would like one. Just email me your real (mailing) address and let me know if you’d prefer the CCEF booklet “Pleasures” (my all-time favorite) OR a “Tara Teaching CD.” I’ll mail them off as soon as I get home from this trip.

OK! Back to work before our morning family cuddle-time starts. (I love mornings!)

Yours,
Tara B.

Fred just posted some of the Peacemaker Conference Videos over at Route 5:9.

'Course, I never like to hear or see myself ... but if you’d like to see my efforts to describe the “Peacemaking Women / Living the Gospel in Relationships” track, click on over. (My video is over a bit to the right.)

(I should’ve worn a different necklace. )

Hope your Thursday went well! I’m ZONKED and eager to hit the hay tonight.

Blessings and joy,
Tara B.

Congratulations Megan, Jenny, and Kirsten! You won!

I’m going to go pack up two DVD series to send to Megan & Jenny. (Megan are you still at the same address–that starts out “406A ...”?? I looked on the link you sent me but couldn’t find a real/snail-mail address.)

Kirsten–what would you like? If you email me REALLY fast, your goodies will go out today. Otherwise, I’ll ship on the 24th.

Love to all!

Yours,
Tara B.

Wow. I just read an amazing post about a resolution that passed at the Southern Baptist Convention (SBC) this week in Indianapolis. It has to do with “regenerate church membership and church member restoration” and I am SO excited for how God is working in the SBC!

You can read a great explanation here:

SBC-Indianapolis #3 - The Resolution passes

But for those of you with a heart for biblical peacemaking who KNOW that the encouragement, accountability, and discipline of the local church is ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY for our efforts to “keep the unity of the Spirit through the bonds of peace” (Ephesians 4:1-3), I bet some of the wording will encourage you too:

"RESOLVED that we urge the churches of the Southern Baptist Convention to repent of the any failure among us to live up to our professed commitment to regenerate church membership and any failure to obey Jesus Christ in the practice of lovingly correcting wayward church members (Matthew 18:15-18 ), and be it further

RESOLVED that we humbly encourage denominational servants to support and encourage churches that seek to recover and implement our Savior’s teachings on church discipline, even if such efforts result in the reduction in the number of members that are reported in those churches ..."

Wow! Preach it, SBC!

And hear the words of another great SBC theologian, Dr. David Dockery:

"We need to repent of our lack of concern for biblical faithfulness in our concern and care for church members," he said. “We need to repent of the way the way we often allow people to join local churches without stressing the covenantal aspect of membership. We need to repent of the fact that we have largely neglected any aspect of church discipline that would have helped us begin to address some of these matters.”

Thank God for His work through the SBC! (And thanks to Pastor Anybwile for pointing this out on his wonderful blog.)

A woman shared with me some helpful criticism at my event last week. She said something to the effect of, “You make it sound as though a parent needs to train their children RIGHT AWAY (like AT BIRTH) about peacemaking / obedience, etc. OR ELSE IT’S TOO LATE.”

What a blessing it was to receive her observation! I want to be so careful in the future to do my best to avoid implying (or stating!) such a thing. Because I truly believe it is NOT true.

I say this based on the simple fact that, even when I have VERY LIMITED time with other children, I have found all of them (even the ones who are prone to be quite whiny, defiant, angry, and selfish/mean/quick to fight with other kids) to be QUICKLY RESPONSIVE to even the tiniest bit of instruction/training.

I simply explain the rules ("In our home, we use a gentle and respectful tone of voice. Whining or complaining is not allowed." or “Who is in charge? The grown-up! And who obeys? The children! And then what happens? BLESSINGS! But what if you do not obey? Painful consequences ... the playdate/zoo trip/outing is over and I will take you home.”) ... and then I enforce them. Every single time. I am consistent so they know that I mean what I say and I will follow through.

('Course, I’m quick to give mercy too! But you can only give mercy if the child knows that they deserve a painful consequence, right? Otherwise, it’s just blessing their sin–and I don’t want to do that! Eek! That’d be bad for them AND bad for me. As Sophie says, “If you blessed me when I sinned, Momma, then YOU would be sinning!” Right.)

Anyway ... even “starting later” (I haven’t been training these children from birth) and with very limited contact spread out over very sporadic time periods, these precious kids quickly learn to be cheerful, obedient, and sweet/happy (for the most part ). How much more so when we have the opportunity to actually PARENT and begin this “new way” (of training in peacemaking, obedience, respectful appeals, etc.) 24/7 in our own home?

As Ken Sande says, “It’s never too late to start doing the right thing.”

Sophia and I are BOTH much happier when God is most glorified in our hearts and home. (Good ol' Pastor Piper, right again! Our happiness and God’s glory really DO intersect. Of course, we don’t glorify God because He makes us happy. We glorify God because He’s God. But WHEN we glorify Him, we ARE happy.)

Sophia struggles with sin every day–just like me.
Sophia has painful consequences when she sins and blessings when she obeys–just like me.
She is desperate for the Savior–like me.
We need grace and truth. Gospel and law. Every day.
We need God.

How grateful I am that God condescends to love a sinner like me! (And my daughter too.)

So, to the unknown sister in Christ in Florida who wrote the note last week ... thanks for the criticism! (If you happen to be reading this blog.) Your words were aptly spoken and I truly appreciate them.

Happy, blessed Thursday to you all!

I have us all packed for our eleven day family adventure (including three days of teaching for me at an event!) in only two rollaboard carry-ons (plus our laptop bags & one Bitty Baby Bag). Am I bragging? Ahhh ... frequent flyer pride. It’s not a pretty sight.

Love ya,
Tara B.

Like I mentioned in my previous post, I was blessed last weekend in Florida to meet a woman who said that she enjoys this blog–but her name was not familiar to me. (She had never yet left a comment.)

I thought of her this morning when Karen left her “Hi, Tara! I met you at an event a few years ago / just wanted to say hello!” comment and I wondered ... How many more “lurkers” are out there??!!

(A blog “lurker” is someone who READS but never leaves a comment on a blog.)

Lurkers are ALWAYS WELCOME!! But since I just received a HUGE order for lots of copies of my DVD Series & Study Guide (fun!) ... I have to go to the post office tomorrow anyway ...

So howabout we give away some free stuff?

You don’t even have to review my book on Amazon.com (although that would SOOOOOOO bless me if you would!) ...

All you have to do is leave a COMMENT on this post BY NOON TOMORROW (6/12/08, Mountain Standard Time).

(Nothing fancy. Just say, “Hi!” if you’d like.)

I’ll draw out three names and send you whatever resource I currently have that you might like. (Books? “When Sinners Say I Do”, "Depression–A Stubborn Darkness," “Peacemaking Women.” Any of my CDs (biblical hope for women with powerful personalities, peacemaking for preschoolers & their mothers, etc.). Hey! If you talk me into it, I’ll even consider sending the $20 5-CD Set or $50 DVD Series. I’m a soft touch. )

OR, if you prefer, I’d be happy to get you a Peacemaker Ministries resource too:

- Peculiar People DVD of The Peacemaking Parables
- Peacemaker Workbook (or Husband & Wife version of the Peacemaker Workbook)
- Memory Stick (super cool resource to help you with your peacemaker memory verses)
- Young Peacemaker (parent & student)
- The Peacemaker, The Peacemaking Pastor, The Student (Teen!) Edition of the Peacemaker

Please let our family bless you! I LOVE giving away free stuff.

I’ll draw names right at noon tomorrow, pack up your goodies, and send 'em off before we hit the road.

Hope to hear from a few of you who have thought in the past, “I could never leave a comment!” To quote my daughter, “You can do it! You can do it! PERSEVERE!”

OK. No more procrastinating. Back to work now.

Love and blessings,
Tara B.

Do you remember how I recently blogged about a People Magazine article on some Peacemaker Ministries staff members?

Well ... cutie-bear Fred Barthel just posted on the same article over at the Peacemaker Ministries blog and he (being oh so technologically ahead of me!) also included a PHOTO.

It is such a lovely photo of the Friesens and it really captures the beauty of God ... so I updated my own blog post, but I also just wanted to share it with you here ...



Sweet! What a lovely reminder of the lavish provision of God.

Step onto an airplane an orphan. Leave with a family. Grace grace grace.

This morning, after our Bible reading from Lamentations, the attribute of God that Sophie prayed back to God (we always start our prayers by thanking God for being God–thanking God for His attributes ... the things that make God, God) was this:

"Thank You, God, that your mercy never comes to an end."

Amen & amen!
(And preach it, Sophie!)

Great is God’s faithfulness!

(Really. Now. Back to work, Tara!!)

Yours,
Tara B.

I just did a little online book shopping for Fred and me after reading CJ Mahanney’s recent blog on Books for the Beach. His list was a perfect fit for Fred and me because I love reading about WWII and Fred loves reading about sports.

We don’t actually have any beaches coming up this summer–but, Lord willing, we will be enjoying some swimming & snorkeling with Sophia this coming September (Florida’s Peacemaker Conference!) and December ("Cinco de Sophie"–Auntie Kali & Uncle Fred are taking us all to MEXICO to celebrate Sophia’s fifth birthday and swim with some dolphins). Fun fun! We are very, very blessed.

Once we get back from this big family trip (on June 23), we are really hoping to establish a calmer, more family time & “reading-filled” & conducive to exercise/healthy eating summer tempo. Moderation. A little bit at a time. Continued growth in grace.

Hope you are all doing well! And thanks for the hello comment, Karen! I met a woman this past weekend in Florida who said that she enjoys this blog but she’s never yet left a comment ... so I know it can be a little hard/scary to leave a first comment. So good job, Karen!! I am happy to hear from you. It really encourages me to know that I’m not just blogging for my mom and Fred to read.

HEY! Since we’re chatting about being brave and leaving a FIRST COMMENT ... how about a little giveaway?? I’ll do another post in two seconds and see if we can draw out any lurkers.

Love to all,
Tara B.

Thinking a lot about my personal Bible reading these days ...

And I’ve been blessed by the entries on the topic over at New Attitude. You might be interested in clicking on over:

Al Mohler on Personal Bible Reading

Mark Dever on Personal Bible Reading

Quoting Mark Dever: “Just keep going. Aim at obedience in a long direction set in a pattern for decades. If you just keep going you’ll gain so much by consistency and faithfulness that there’s no way you can gain just by sudden experience.”

Amen!

Off to read my Bible now ...

Love,
Tara B.

Still no “final FINAL” decision from Peacemakers on my DVD series ... but things look quite hopeful that they ARE going to pick up my DVD series as their women’s study.

If so ... the price is almost guaranteed to DOUBLE (from $50 to $99) and it is doubtful that the DATA DISC with the “you can print off AS MANY copies of the study guide as you’d like” copyright will remain.

SO ... if you would like the series at the “Barthel Family” price and FOR SURE with the (permanent) “you can print/copy as many guides as you’d like FOREVER” copyright, now is your chance.

Living the Gospel in Relationships

I JUST received a box of 25 DVD sets and if you order by this Thursday, I can ship to you before our family trip to the Midwest. Otherwise, it’ll be almost JULY before we can send them out.

Just wanted to let you know!

Hope your Monday is going well–

Love ya,
Tara B.

Sophie’s big recital day was a joy!

It started with some surprises ("long distance hugs") from my family and me:



Our dear friend, Auntie Sarah, put her hair up for me (Thanks, Sarah!) and it was off to the theater with her ballet buddy and dear friend, Emma:



“Backstage” waiting was filled with special recital treats & coloring and then it was time to cross the street to the Alberta Bair Theater! (Fred calls the last photo the “little ducklings shot” ):





The actual dance went OK ... but there was a tiny mishap when the girls were holding hands in a big circle. Apparently, the spinning got a little too fast/out of control and Sophie and a few other girls FELL!! (Gasp!!)

Fred told me later that he watched the video like ten times ("In CSI fashion!") to try to deduce exactly what happened and he came to this conclusion ... “Remember roller skating rinks in the early 80’s? Whip it? Whip it GOOD? Well ...”

ANYWAY, when I heard all of this late Saturday night from my hotel room in Florida, I asked Sophia if she was HURT. She said, “No. Just embarrassed.” Then I asked her if the other girls were OK (they were) and if she was able to get back up and continue the dance, or if she stopped after she fell. “I got right back up and kept going.”

"You know," I told her, "Everyone makes mistakes or has something embarrassing happen to them when they are in front of a crowd–on a stage, in church, playing the piano ... you can even ask Daddy to tell you about the time he made a BIG mistake in front of like 30,000 people when he was in the Marching Illini at the University of Illinois ( ) ...

Everyone makes a mistake or falls at some point in their lives. But often, because of our tears or adrenaline or embarrassment, it’s really, really HARD to GET UP and KEEP GOING. I am so proud of you for continuing the dance!! You honored your dance partner AND you served all of the people watching."

“But Momma! Some of them LAUGHED at us.”

“Yes, yes ... sadly ... that happens too. Sometimes people laugh because they are nervous/surprised. Sometimes people do laugh because they have a mean or ugly heart that delights in the embarrassment of others. Don’t let it trouble you. What does it matter? I’m just SO happy that you had a lovely dance recital! I’m so happy that the other girls and you were not hurt. I’m incredibly proud of you for getting up and continuing the dance. GOOD JOB, dear. You served well! My heart is full of happiness!”

So that was her recital day. And I had a super-fun “welcome home/happy birthday” reception yesterday. (Replete with homemade Momma Birthday MINTS, a banner, and Sophie even shared her ballet recital cookies and flowers with me. Very sweet!)



Hope your week goes well!
God is truly good. All the time.

Love and blessings,
Tara B.

I had a LONG flight to Florida on Thursday and a LONG flight home today. But it wasn’t as long as a certain father-son duo who happened to be on the exact same flights as me ...

The son must be very, very sick. I assume he is dying–although I am no medical expert. He was just barely skin and bones. Unable to move his own arms, legs, or even hold his head upright. So his father held his head for him. Both flights. The entire 3.5 and 4 hours respectively.

The dad stretched his sons arms and legs. Lovingly held his head. Whispered in his ear. Obviously loved him with all his heart.

I wondered if maybe they were going to Florida for a “Make A Wish” trip or to seek medical care. I don’t know.

But I know that I saw love today–
And I am so sorry for that little one’s suffering–
And the suffering of his papa too.

God is still the same!
But this life is oft' so hard.

Grace to you!!

With much love from a tired but grateful gal,
Tara B.

PS
Hi Florida ladies! It was SO wonderful to be with you all! Thanks again for inviting me to be with you.

Guess what?

PEOPLE MAGAZINE did a profile on (Peacemaker staff members) Rick & Annette Friesen and their (wonderful!) daughter Christina.



(You may recall their story–how Rick met 15 year-old Christina on an airplane flying home from teaching at a Peacemakers event. Her mother had abandoned her at birth and she was a lifetime “foster kid” getting moved to yet another foster kid group home. Rick couldn’t stop thinking about her when he got home, and after seeking counsel and much prayer, he and his wife went and found her and adopted her! It’s a great story and a wonderful reflection of the gospel.)

Check out the June 16 issue of People Magazine: See page 8 (picture and “blurb” in the table of contents) and pages 135-136 (for the article). The article also includes Gary & Laurel Friesen’s son Jake in a photo.

Fun stuff!

Thank You, God, for adopting US into YOUR family!
And thank you, Friesens, for reflecting the gospel to a watching world.

Much love,
Tara B.

I started my day out on a beautiful balcony enjoying an amazing ocean breeze AND a sweet video I made of Sophia earlier in the week.

I thought you might enjoy it too, so here it is:



Tomorrow is the big recital day! Super super fun!

Hope you have a lovely day–

Yours,
Tara B.

Don’t read this if you’re not in the mood to cry a little (ok, really? a lot!)–but also to remember the goodness and sovereignty of God:

Bring the Rain’s “Sweet Baby Lukie”

(HT to Amy’s Humble Musings and Jennifer’s Favorite Links for linking to this story of a woman who recently lost her own baby (whom she chose to carry to term despite knowing that the baby could not survive after birth) and then suddenly lost her seven-week-old nephew to SIDS just a few days ago.)

***

Actually, I couldn’t stop reading. It’s almost an hour later now and I’m weeping, alone in my hotel room in Florida in the middle of the night. But I’m not lonely. Just sad–and grateful. Grateful to be known and loved by God. Grateful for a godly and kind husband and the gift of time with Sophia Grace. (I never assume I’ll have even one more day with either in this life.) Grateful that this world is NOT our Home.

Please do take a moment and read this beautiful letter from a mother to a daughter whom she only got to hold for a few hours–but who is dearly, eternally loved:

A Letter to My Daughter

This life is nothing but a constant death! But then, one day, God will make it all right. He will set things back again the way they were created to be. No more death. No more tears.

Maranatha! Come quickly, Lord Jesus.

Yours,
Tara B.

I have been plowing through emails and trying to catch up on my reading as I’ve flown from Montana to Florida all day today.

Some things I skim and some things I don’t even glance at (delete-o-rama!). But a recent “Slice of Infinity” written by J.M. Njoroge (associate apologist at Ravi Zacharias International Ministries) stopped me in my tracks. I had to slow down and really read it. And then read it again. And then pray.

I thought it might challenge some of you, too, so here is a brief excerpt to tempt you (emphasis added):

“When our pursuit for success is severed from a healthy sense of our chronic indebtedness, achieving success can instill in us a measure of entitlement foreign to our true identity. Such a pitfall is even more consequential in our spiritual lives since it is harder to distinguish between self-serving motives and genuine zeal for the Lord …

Pure, unadulterated motives may lie beyond the reach of even the most devout among us, but the intentional recognition of our humble place in deference to the majesty of our Maker is an indispensable ingredient in our service to Him and others.”

I truly hope you will read the entire essay:

Sibling Rivalry and the House of Faith

I am so glad that I subscribe to this gem of a daily e-devotional.

Grace to you!

Much love,
Tara B.

I just received an email from Northwest Airlines with a screamin' deal for those of you planning to attend the Peacemaker Conference in Orlando, Florida this September. (This is particularly true if you were planning to bring your kids anyway!)

- Kids fly free!
- Great deals on car rentals!
- Extra days on your Disney Pass!
- The ACTUAL Peacemaker Conference hotel (Caribe Royale Suites) IS one of the “deal” hotels!
- The dates are PERFECT! (The deal goes through September 30)

You have to book within the next THREE DAYS (by June 6) so don’t delay.

Hope this is a blessing to you and hope to see you at "The Power of a Peacemaking Church"!

Sophia’s first ballet recital is this Saturday, so I thought I’d better practice putting her hair up in a bun “like a REAL ballerina” ...

Don’t miss this post from Carolyn McCulley’s RadicalWomanhood:

Wounded at the Hands of Men

"This kind of forgiveness is completely impossible without the gospel."

Amen, Carolyn! Amen and thank you for your ministry to us all.

CCEF Annual Conference

If you know anyone in seminary–or anyone who has BEEN to seminary–you may want to point them in the direction of this great post by Derek Jones:

How to Waste Your Theological Education

(HT: Church Matters-9Marks)

So how was YOUR Monday?

We had a VERY fun day making daddy’s birthday cake ...



We (of course) used the Silver Creek Cookbook (the church in which Fred grew up!) because it has THE ABSOLUTE BEST icing recipe EVER ...



Then Sophie got to decorate Fred’s cake ANY WAY she wanted! And here’s what happens when you allow a four year-old COMPLETE FREE REIGN in the cake decorating department ...





Daddy’s home! PARTY TIME!





WHEW! We’re beat and daddy’s at a Deacon’s Meeting. Time for bed!



G'nite and God bless!

With love,
Tara B. (& Fred & Sophia Grace & Lilikoi)

Amy’s Humble Musings linked over to a great article on work-life balance on the “stuff Christians like” blog:

Margin or Life Balance (or whatever $3 will buy you!)

AND she linked to another fantastic article on the “Mommy Wars” and Romans 14 over at the “making home” blog:

Motherhood and the Difficult Wisdom of Romans 14

I encourage you to check them out! Definitely worth the read.

Jill Carratini continues to be my favorite author in my favorite daily e-devotional: Ravi Zacharias’s “Slice of Infinity”. She is a careful thinker, a lover of God, and a profoundly gifted writer.

I urge you to read her recent essay, Let Not Your Hearts be Troubled. Let me tempt you with a mere snippet:

"The 1905 hymn “His Eye is on the Sparrow” is one that has captured the hearts of many, reminding with simple assurance that we are not forgotten, nor alone ...

The hymn is a poignant reminder that though we will find discouragement and loneliness, we were not intended to; and though we sometimes labor to find our sight in shadows, we will one day see in full. We long for home because at present we are not home. Yet God’s careful eye is on even the sparrow, God’s Spirit on our trail, willing that one day we shall get there ...

What must Christ be like if he can tell us not to let our hearts be troubled on the eve of his own violent death? Who is this God we follow, this God who knows every sparrow and hair on our heads?

In fact, Civilla Martin’s hymn was inspired by a couple by the name of Mr. and Mrs. Doolittle. Mrs. Doolittle had been bedridden with illness for almost twenty years. Confined to a wheel chair, Mr. Doolittle was also fraught with adversity. Yet despite their afflictions, they offered inspiration and comfort to all who knew them. Inquiring as to the source of their hope in the midst of such grief and struggle, Mrs. Doolittle’s reply was simple in its promise of things present and sublime in its reach of things to come: “His eye is on the sparrow,” she said, “and I know God watches me.”

Thank you, Ms. Carratini, for helping us to know and trust God.