considerable grace

Well, the first two posts in this Christian woman’s blog hooked me sufficiently to add her to my “try out this blog” bookmark, so I thought I’d share the link with you:

More Love to Thee

You know, a friend and I were just discussing this week how most “Christian Woman” online stuff is unbearable to us. The language can be so harsh/critical/graceless; the theology can be so Man-centered; or the picture of the Christian life can be presented as either being all Perfection/"Victory" or Misery/Works-Oriented-Never-Good-Enough that we simply avoid it all.

What a gift of grace to read posts that are God-centered and gentle; in the battle–but by faith, by grace, in Christ alone!

Oh, and I clicked through to her husband’s blog and had the same sense ... hence the referral.

Hope you’re all having a great Thursday. Soph and I just got home from running errands and we are rejoicing over some $1.38 clearance toys at Target. (Since I had pushed her a bit with a few too many errands–and the apple snack I had packed for her was long gone, I had told her that she could have a pretzel and yogurt or she could spend that money on a “treat” toy. When she wisely chose the toy, I assumed we’d be shopping in the $1 Spot. I had no idea we’d be blessed with such fun treats!)

Grace abounds!

Yours,
Tara B.

This morning, Sophie asked me a question and it reminded me of something really stupid and sinful that I did last week. I answered her and that was that, but Fred could tell that I was troubled.

"Why are you cringing?" Fred asked.

“Because it was my stupidity and sin that even caused that!”

"Yes, but you are forgiven, Tara. Forgiven. No guilt in life! No fear in death." Fred responded.

He’s right theologically (of course).
And I now have “In Christ Alone” ringing in my ears (as I would imagine many of you do too).

But the thought that I can’t shake–and I’d imagine I am going to be thinking about, praying over, and probably doing a little Bible study and memory work over–is this:

I do believe that I am forgiven by God. If I were to die today, I would not suffer the punishment due for my sin because God poured out his wrath on Christ for me.

But I struggle in life to not have guilt over my sin!

I think this is one of the main reasons why I felt so much distance with Fred in the last few months. I trust that my past sins are forgiven–by God and Fred–but it is hard to trust in grace as I struggle with current/ongoing/besetting sins.

It’s not hard for me to understand why this is a struggle ... because what does grace even look like as someone is struggling with ongoing sin? In one moment, it might be to overlook. In another, to confront. We might be called to be forceful or gentle. We may be persevering and keeping things “as private as possible as long as possible.” But it might be time to get help.

And when you are on the receiving end of someone trying to walk in grace with you even as you continue to struggle with sin? Well, it can be very easy to feel betrayed, condemned, or unloved (even if the person is trying to do the exact opposite!).

So what biblical truth speaks into this struggle with besetting sin? Let’s learn again from Pastor John Piper.

This quote is just a small excerpt taken from his sermon, Who is This Divided Man? (Part 6), and I encourage you to read or listen to it in its entirety. But in the interim, enjoy this reminder of how the gospel is making you into the person you already are:

"Already (Decisively and Irrevocably Free) and Not Yet(Finally and Perfectly Free)

Two things should be deeply rooted in your mind as a Christian:

One is that when you believed in Christ, you were united to him and experienced a decisive deliverance from the dominion of sin. Paul says it again and again in Romans 6. Verse 6: “Our old self was crucified with Him, in order that our body of sin might be done away with, so that we would no longer be slaves to sin.” Verse 14: “Sin shall not be master over you, for you are not under law but under grace.” ... When you trusted Christ as your treasure there was a decisive and irrevocable event of deliverance.

The other thing that should be deeply rooted in your mind is that, even though a decisive deliverance from the dominion of sin has happened, a final and perfect deliverance from the effects of indwelling sin has not yet happened. That is what we have spent five messages unfolding in Romans 7:14-25. “Indwelling sin,” "flesh" “evil” are present with us still and threaten to take us captive at any moment.

So the question is: How are we to live in view of this double truth about ourselves? The answer comes from watching the amazing way that Paul speaks to us about our deliverance and our newness in Christ. What he does again and again is to say: This new man is who you decisively and irrevocably are in Christ. This free man is your deepest and truest identity. Now act on it. Look to Christ, trust his help, and by his Spirit become what you are.

If your besetting sin is anger, affirm that in Christ you have died to that identity and in Christ you have his patience and kindness. Look to him and trust in him and rejoice in him. And fight against anger as one who has the victory in him ...

Become What You Are
Let’s close by looking at how Paul says this, so that you can see it is really there in the Word of God. The way he does it is with a strong statement of fact that Christians are new, accompanied by an equally strong command that we become new. Here are some of the examples in the New Testament.

1. Statement of newness: Romans 6:14, “Sin shall not be master over you, for you are not under law but under grace.” Command to become new: Romans 6:12, “Do not let sin reign in your mortal body.”

2. Statement of newness: Romans 6:18, “Having been freed from sin, you became slaves of righteousness.” Command to become new: Romans 6:19, “Present your members as slaves to righteousness.”

3. Statement of newness: Romans 6:6, “Our old self was crucified with Him.” Command to become new: Romans 6:11, “Consider yourselves to be dead to sin.”

4. Statement of newness: Colossians 3:9, “You laid aside the old self with its evilpractices.” Command to become new: Ephesians 4:22 “Lay aside the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit.”

... When Paul says in Romans 7:25b, “I myself with my mind am serving the law of God,” he means, By the transforming power of the Spirit I set my mind on the treasure of Jesus Christ and all that God is for me in him (2 Corinthians 5:19; 1 Corinthians 1:30; Colossians 2:3, 9); and all that I am in him (2 Corinthians 5:17) and all I will become through him (Philippians 1:11). And I believe him and trust in his help and power. And I act on that faith. And if I stumble, I do not yield to the temptation to deny Christ or my true life in him. I repent and I revel in his forgiveness and I fight on."

Reveling in forgiveness and fighting on–

Yours,
Tara B.

Until today, I had not ready any books about 9/11. I did not go and see “United 93” and I doubt I ever will. The evil poured out on that day is just so awful and the lives of each victim so precious and real ... well ... it’s just not a topic that I’ve cared to “curl up with a good book” over. Until now.

I just finished reading a book that kept me engaged like no book since Ghost Soldiers: The Epic Account of World War II’s Greatest Rescue Mission (which I literally could NOT stop reading until I finished it at like 4:30AM).

The book is:



Touching History: The Untold Story of the Drama that Unfolded in the Skies over America on 9/11

And I heartily recommend it if ...

- You have been reticent to read books about 9/11

- You enjoy well-written books and cringe at (and close!) books with ridiculous prose and sloppy logic/facts/grammar

- You have time to read the whole thing

In addition, of course, if you love the USA or the cause of freedom in any nation; if you appreciate the wisdom, skills, sacrifice, and bravery of our men and women in military; and if you’re an (almost million-miler) frequent flyer like myself (so airport/air traffic control stuff is a normal part of your life and you’d like a glimpse “behind the scenes”) ... read this book!

You know–I have so many huge projects that need my attention ... I guess a few hours being lost in something totally “other” was just what my mind and heart needed.

Well done, author Lynn Spencer!
And may God have mercy on all of the people everywhere who are fighting against the evil of terrorism.

Yours,
Tara B.



(HT: MilitaryMotivator)

OK. This is it. Midnight tonight–July 30, 2008 (Mtn), I am going to put in my last order for the original version of my DVD series.

If you’ve already put in your order for one of the 400 study guides I’ll be shipping out (!! Can you believe it? I thought I would have (seriously!) TEN orders or something.) ... I hope to have them in hand within the next ten days or so and I will immediately ship them to you.

But then that’s it for this version of the study. I’ll sell what I have in stock until its gone or Peacemakers rolls out their version, but I can’t get you these “original version” DVDs or study guides after that time. Only the official Peacemaker Ministries version will be available.

Oh–and please be sure to email me directly if you’d like to buy more than a couple study guides or if you’d like any sort of screamin' deal for your missionaries / kids in seminary / whatever ministry reason. We’re all about trying to keep the costs as LOW as possible and we’re happy to extend the “2 for $75” offer to just cover our costs and SERVE as many people as possible while we can still get the series for a low price.

Let me know if you have questions!

Soph and I are looking forward to a quiet day at home today.
Well, except for my responding to your emails and cranking out your orders.

Blessings to you and yours!

Love,
Tara B.

There is another great post over at Carolyn McCulley’s Radical Womanhood:

Don’t Waste Your Kids

She includes a link to a sermon that I’d like to give a listen to one of these days.

It was a particularly encouraging post to me tonight because I was recently reflecting on whether I am too strict with Sophia. Specifically, is it loving (of God & neighbor–my daughter) and wise to require her obedience as "right away, all the way, without delay and without complaint"? (i.e., Right actions with a grouchy heart? Not obedience. Slow, plodding, dragging feet actions? Not obedience. Cheerful & immediate = obedience.)

I believe it is loving and wise.

It is truly our conviction that in training Sophia to obey, we are not only helping to keep her safe from harm, but (hopefully!) helping her to come to the true heart conviction that there are blessings in obedience–but painful consequences in disobedience. (And we pray that as she grows, that lesson will transfer right on over to obeying the Lord!)

Plus ... wow! But I really enjoy the blessing of living in a house with a (mostly) cheerful, happy, fun, loving, not-whiny, immediately-obedient child.

But I know that I need to always be cautious and not expect too much (i.e., age inappropriate) of our little muffin tater-tot lovie-bug sweetheart. I am grateful for the counsel of Fred and our church leaders and friends to help in that regard.

Anyway–as always, Carolyn McCulley hits it out of the park with a great post and I encourage you to check it out.

On to cuddle bedtime!

G'nite,
Tara B.

I’m home for a long stretch and it’s been a great time to continue my ongoing growth in grace re: being more disciplined (spiritually, physically, what I eat, etc.). I’m also trying to get a little organized and prepared for the little “homeschool co-op” that Sophie and I will be participating in at our church this year.

(As an aside, Fred and I are still not 100% sure what we’ll be doing with Sophia’s “real” education. She is only four and a half, so she would have to wait another year to start even Kindergarten at public or Christian schools in Billings. So Fred is encouraging me to keep on enjoying these young years and just have fun ... which we do with our little “lessons.”

We call our morning routine “un-homeschooling”: a little Bible, Catechism, phonics, writing, reading out loud, violin, and some sort of quantitative play ... logic is her absolute favorite, but we do analogies, sequencing, telling time, playing with Wedgits/legos/puzzles, etc. It really doesn’t take much time, we both enjoy it, and it does help me to feel that even in some small way I’m redeeming the time and being intentional in our play/fun.

Since she’s so little and we’re focusing on enjoying these young years, our participation in the co-op is not so much about “education” as it is about having relationships in the church; working on peacemaking with peers; experiencing a classroom setting and learning to honor a teacher and serve/encourage fellow students.)

ANYWAY ... all that to say ... one of the things I’ve been trying to learn about is a math program called Math-U-See. This is the curriculum that will be used in Soph’s little co-op, so I’m trying to orient us both to its terms and systems.

My friend lent me her materials temporarily while I wait for my order – and yesterday I started watching the video and tried to make a “Decimal Street”:



I really like the program so far–it introduces the idea of place value to kids right away and really seems to make a lot math that was SO unclear to me as a kid VERY clear and understandable.

BUT ... I was completely incompetent trying to make the decimal street. Straight lines and well-measured things just aren’t my forte. And after the second failed attempt, I knew it was best to ask Fred for help. He happily got out his drafting tools and protractors from engineering days, and before you knew it, we had our “Unit House” and “Ten-T House” and “Hundred Castle.” Plus he offered to watch the videos and read through the curriculum so that he could help both Sophie and me since he is SO quant and I am SO verbal/NOT quant. So yeah-rah for Fred!

Now, to get to the whole reason I wanted to write this post ...

This morning, I totally cracked Fred up when I got back from my walk with Lili and told him I was heading into the basement to do my abs/lifting AND WATCH THE MATH VIDEO. He thought I was kidding. Math and abs? Why not add an awkward social interaction with a difficult person and try to COOK at the same time? Then I could hit all of my hardest areas of life in one fell swoop.

But nope, I really am doing math and abs each morning. Just a little bit of trying to honor God by being more disciplined, diligent, and tackling my ongoing fears.

Soph/princess Momma and Lili just came downstairs and we’re ready for play/lessons, so I must run.



Hope you enjoy a lovely Tuesday–

Yours,
Tara B.

Well, things have been hopping around here today. The calendar was completely empty so I thought it would be a quiet day. Hah. Instead, it has been one of extreme stress over some good things and some hard things ... but I’ve actually been prayerful, so that is a grace! And when Sophie prayed for us this morning, she prayed:

"Thank You, God, for Momma. And thank You, God, that you are with her."

So how can I be anything but OK?

(And I am.)

Anyway ... one of the (good!) stressors has been a flood of emails and orders for the original version of my DVD series before the July 30, 2008 deadline. I’m thrilled, of course, and working hard to keep all of the details straight.

But I thought that with all of the interest, I’d better mention it just one more time on my blog and remind you to please get your orders in by the July 30 deadline.

On Thursday, July 31 I am going to place my final order for DVD sets and workbooks and once they are gone, they are gone. For good. That’s it. I’ll fill these orders and sell the stock I have on hand until it’s gone, but once that happens, my contract with Peacemakers requires that I not sell the original version any more. Ever. To anyone–even you ladies that I love so much!

So if you want Trudy’s music, photos of Fred & me (and my mom & me too–Peacemakers took out almost all of the personal photos), “Peacemaker Junkie,” etc. etc. ... and if you don’t want to pay $99, July 30 is your deadline.

Oh! I did so want to post about how Fred and I are doing better–
About churchmen that have impacted me over the years by their brilliance and humility–
And about how God really IS our refuge and strength.

But I must dash and the ongoing orders compel me to make one more DVD post.
No infomercials! Just not wanting to let any of you down.

Sophie and Lili and I send our love–

Yours,
Tara B.

The words to Sophie’s newest Suzuki violin song are actually incredibly worshipful and I thought you might enjoy them on this wonderful Sabbath day (and every day!):

O Come Little Children

O come, little children, O come one and all,
To Bethlehem haste, to the manger so small,
God’s Son for a gift has been sent you this night
To be your Redeemer, your joy and delight.

He’s born in a stable for you and for me,
Draw near by the bright gleaming starlight to see,
In swaddling clothes lying so meek and so mild,
And purer than angels the heavenly Child.

See Mary and Joseph, with love beaming eyes,
Are gazing upon the rude bed where He lies,
The shepherds are kneeling, with hearts full of love
While angels sing loud hallelujahs above.

Kneel down and adore Him with shepherds today,
Lift up little hands now and praise Him as they
Rejoice that a Saviour from sin you can boast,
And join in the song of the heavenly host.

I’ve been enjoying all of the Wordles popping up on blogs I read, so I decided to go and Wordle my own:



I’m not sure how “pink” and “cat” earned such prominent placements–but I’ll take the “God,” "Christ," and “Reminder/Reminded” any day.

Oh–and thanks for the encouragement re: Fred and me. We actually laughed and laughed tonight SO HARD and for SO LONG that it felt like the old normal. (I don’t think it would translate well as to WHY we were laughing so hard–it had to do with Fred playing tug and then ending up doing arm curls with our Golden, but I think you really had to see it to enjoy it as much as we did.)

It was great to laugh together.
You have to trust to laugh, don’t you?

Our family devotions and hymn tonight both reiterated how God’s mercies are new every morning. What a glorious truth.

Blessed Sabbath to you tomorrow!

Yours,
Tara B.

As Fred and I have continued to work through this (very!) difficult season in our friendship and marriage, we’ve spent a couple of (very!) hard conversations with our own virtual Pastor Jason.

Literally–we pretended that he was sitting right next to us and every time that the conversation got too difficult, it seemed impossible to make further progress, or we were just tempted to give up entirely, we’d say, “OK. Now Pastor Jason would say thus & such.” Or, “If Pastor Jason were here, he would ask you to describe a specific example of what that looked like.” etc. etc.

It might be hard to believe, but it did help. A little. But there’s nothing like the real thing!

And even with his house FLOOD this month (poor family!), his DMin courses at Westminster, his counseling load, and all of his other (intense!) duties, this past Thursday Fred wisely scheduled time for us to go and meet with the real thing. I’m so very glad he did.

There is just something profoundly important about the Body of Christ ministering to one another in person with compassion, wisdom, insight, confrontation, encouragement, exhortation, love.

Knowledge is important! But Fred and I didn’t need information–we needed a reminder of the Truth. And God provided that reminder for us in the form of our friend and shepherd overseer, Pastor Jason.

- He reminded us that God is with us. That we have resources beyond our own paltry, exhausted, feeling-hopeless abilities.

- He listened to our (oft' petty and self-centered) hurts and complaints without criticism and judgment. He listened to our sins without criticism and judgment. Rather, he acknowledged our suffering, acknowledged the wickedness of sins, and reminded us to remember our Savior Who died to save us from them all.

- Fred has been feeling like he can’t do enough as my husband. I have been feeling judged and rejected as his wife. Neither is true–but oh feelings can be SO strong! And when we responded to these feelings once, then twice ... then again and again ... before you know it, we had dug ourselves into faithless and graceless ruts in our relationship. Sure, we co-existed and we co-parented just fine. We’re actually a good little team that way. But the Great Wall of China was growing between us and we were sinking down further and further. (Not to overstate it, but it really has been a dark time for us.)

So there we sat with Pastor Jason as he said the words to us that Jason and I have said a hundred times to other couples in marriage mediations.

Was everything fixed? Of course not.
Did we leave with a more Godward focus? Yes!
Is there even a glimmer of hope for us? Way more than a glimmer, even for ol' melancholy me.

Why, oh why?! Because our friend loved God and loved us and reminded us that we are loved by God–and God will help us to love one another too.

"If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory." Colossians 3:1-4 (ESV)

Amen and amen!

And thanks, Fred, for not giving up on us!
And thanks, Pastor Jason, for loving your sheep well.

Gratefully,
Tara B.

'Twill take you 30 seconds to read, but it’s definitely worth it:

People Can’t Talk to Pastors

Sophie and I were enjoying a lovely evening last night while Fred was away playing a game in our church’s softball league. We were just sitting down to the piano to sing our hymn (as a family, we are working on memorizing “Fairest Lord Jesus”), when (for some UNIMAGINABLE reason) she brought up THE PINK CAT.

Have I told you about this (I want to say STUPID–but I’m really trying to get that word OUT of my vocabulary; it is coarse and vulgar and really not appropriate) ... this ... this ... ANNOYING pink cat???

Years ago, someone gave Sophie a $.99 teeny tiny cheap-o no big deal stuffed pink cat toy. Sometime in the next year, in the course of our normal “box up some old toys and give them away” pattern of life, the pink cat was history. MONTHS after that, one day SOPHIE REALLY WANTED THAT PINK CAT. Not the yellow, gray, black, or white kitten toys she STILL had. Oh no. Not one of the ZILLION other stuffed animals she had. Nope.

She wanted the pink cat.
(Can you say MONSTER WANTED the pink cat?)

So lots of gospel, law, prayer, discipline, gospel, law, prayer, discipline later, we survived the initial onslaught of her adoration for the pink cat ... but every once in awhile, SHE BRINGS IT UP AGAIN. And now it has also become a temptation for ME because it is just SUCH an example of her lack of gratitude (for the zillion toys she DOES have) and her lack of contentment (for all of the blessings in her life).

SO ANYWAY ...

There’s the heat. Our hearts came squirting out all over the place. But then I had one of those parenting moments where I KNEW what I needed to say (I knew the truth), but I was not particularly FEELING it myself at the time ... so it was almost like I was floating over our conversation LISTENING to myself counsel my child, and, of course, counseling myself in the process.

Our conversation went something like this:

(formerly) Pink Cat-Obsessed Sophie: “I know I shouldn’t want the cat so much or talk about it so much. I’m sorry about that.”

(formerly) Grouchy ol' Momma Tara: “I know that your wanting the cat and bringing it up–AGAIN–is no excuse for me using a grouchy tone of voice with you. I’m sorry about that and I’m glad that we can forgive each other and be forgiven by God, too. Let’s pray now, honey.”

Soph: “I’m afraid to pray.”
Me: “Why, honey? What are you afraid of?”

Soph: “When I do bad things I feel all guilty and ashamed in my heart and I’m afraid to ask God to forgive me again.”

Me: “Yes, yes, I know what you mean. I sometimes feel like that too. But what is the TRUTH, Sophie? What does the Bible say?”

Sophia: “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to purify us from all unrighteousness.”

Me: “That’s right, Sophie. That’s TRUTH. And although we may be tempted in life to live by our FEELINGS, we must, instead, put our stake in the ground on the TRUTH. Feelings change. They go up and down. Many times they are inaccurate. But God’s Word is True and we can trust that He really is Who He has said He is as revealed in the Bible.”

I was thinking afterwards, “Am I just the world’s biggest hypocrite to doubt the very words I am saying to my daughter AS I am saying them? Am I just such a fake? The worst Christian EVER?!”

OR ... do I actually BELIEVE them and KNOW them to be true, but do my emotions roll up and down, up and down (especially once a month!)?

Anyway ... we read our Little House on the Prairie, cuddled in, and went to sleep. Reconciled to God and each other–and hopefully never to talk about that pink cat again. (Yeah, right.)

Hope you have a great Friday! I’m watching kids again all day to help some friends–so I’m looking forward to a fun, but not very “productive” day.

Yours,
Tara B.

Tempted to despair (yet again), I did a quick search this morning for a biblical and practical reminder of the gospel (you know, the Truth that I really DO believe, but I am SO quick to forget).

In my reading, I found this great Pastor John Piper sermon:

How to Deal with the Guilt of Sexual Sin

Thankfully, I’m not struggling with this particular temptation, but MAN! Am I struggling in other areas.

This brief excerpt, in particular, blessed and encouraged me:

"Trusting Christ to the hilt with gutsy guilt. Micah 7:8-9 is a picture of what you say to your enemy when he scoffs at your defeat. Here is what you say. My summary of these words is to call them gutsy guilt. I call it that because the believer admits that he has done wrong and that God is dealing roughly with him. But even in a condition of darkness and discipline, he will not surrender his hold on the truth that God is on his side. Listen to these amazing words. Mark them. Memorize them. Use them whenever Satan tempts you to throw away your life on trifles because that’s all you’re good for.

Rejoice not over me, O my enemy; when I fall, I shall rise; when I sit in darkness, the Lord will be a light to me. I will bear the indignation of the Lord because I have sinned against him, until he pleads my cause and executes judgment for me. He will bring me out to the light; I shall look upon his vindication. (Micah 7:8-9)

This is what victory looks like the morning after failure. Meditate on it long and hard when I am gone. Learn to take your theology and speak like this to the devil or anyone else who tells you that Christ is not capable of using you mightily for his global cause. Here is what you say ..."

I hope you’ll click on over and read the entire sermon.

God never tires of forgiving His children.
Never.

I’m clinging to that truth today!

Yours,
Tara B.

I was blessed yet again by another CJ Mahanney essay and thought it might encourage you too:

Shifting Ground–Finding Joy in Adversity

Let me tempt you with just a snippet:

"How about you? Are you personally experiencing a season of adversity with no end in sight? If so, rather than peering into the future trying to predict the concluding date of the trial, I recommend you look down and then up.

Look down and realize a transition is under way to shift the ground of your joy “from created things to the Creator.” Then look up and delight in the Lord himself. Contemplate his changeless character and the finished work of Jesus Christ on the cross. Then—dependent upon God’s grace—obey this command given for our good and his glory. Rejoice as you realize afresh you are doing much better than you deserve.

This will not alter the severity of your trial, but it will transform your perspective and strengthen your soul for the trial."

During the hubbub of the weekend, one of my sisters-in-law said something that has really stuck with me.

She mentioned how easy it is to be really excited about the anticipation of something and then to really enjoy the memories related to it ... but it is easy to miss out on enjoying the now.

Lord willing, we will be home in a few hours and I should have plenty of time in the next few weeks to be content, quiet, and enjoy “the now.”

I am praying that I will do so.

Grace to you!

With love from the MSP WorldClub,
Tara B.

I promise to get back to real blogging soon–

But since I know that some of the cousins are checking in for photos, here are just a few more from our family gathering this weekend.

Hope you are doing well!

Love,
Tara B.

Mini-putt-putt golfing & duck boat fun at Krape Park:





Honoring GG (97 year-old Great Grandma) with a formal family photo and hymn sing too:





The world’s best ice-cream: Union Dairy! (Poor Sophie slept through the whole thing.)



Cousins are the best!!

I think Sophie is really enjoying the phenomenon of having everyone around her named Barthel.



It’s one thing to talk about “relatives” and “family”–but since we have no relatives anywhere near Montana, this is all pretty new (and great) to her:





That Barthel family can seriously take over an entire table at the firemen’s BBQ:



We’re about to head into our last day of familial adventures ... brunch & playtime at a Krape Park, ice cream at “the” local place (Union Dairy), a family photo with 97 year-old “GG” (Great-Grandma), and a night of watching old movies of the five Barthel boys running around 30 years ago.

Thanks again for praying for us!

Sending you lots of love,
Tara B.

PS
The “girl cousins” did one of those Olde-Tyme Western pics together. I’ll post the real one when I get it (with them looking all serious), but here is the smiling one I snapped beforehand:

Praising God for a nice visit with extended family in the Midwest!

Time with Grandpa Joe & Nana Marlene was a blessing:



And Fred’s little hometown annual celebration ("German Valley Days") is the perfect place for a four-year old! Especially when she is surrounded by loving aunts, uncles, cousins, and “we’re all here to celebrate her 70th birthday!” Grandma Chris:

Our fun started with a stop by the veterinary clinic that Grandpa Calvin (Fred’s dad) founded:



We pretended that Sophie’s bunny ("LoveBunny") had an owie. Cousin Elizabeth, future vet extraordinaire, fixed her right up:



Then, it was on to the horse parade, rides, and BBQ:







Thanks again for the prayers (and the encouraging emails too!)–

Much love,
Tara B.

SimpleMom has a great read on organizing your home:

Keep Your Home Clutter-Free

Just a super quick note to let you know that we DID complete the videos yesterday and it was ALL by grace alone. (Ken and I were simply EXHAUSTED!! But he was SO FUNNY and passionate and sincere. And I did my best to, you know, sound reasonably coherent.)

At least they are done and that’s one less thing to think about.

AND we made it safely to Chicago tonight and so far, the family visit has gone OK (thank God!).

But Fred and I have been up since 4AM and we really need to crash now.

Hope your week wraps up well! Thanks in advance for your patience as I will be hard to reach via email and blog comment for the next few days. Greased-pig-chasing scrambles, parades, and family adventures are a callin'.

G'nite and God bless!

Love,
Tara B.

Just a quick note to everyone who has sent me emails and orders for my DVD Video Series in the last few days – and has not received an immediate response ...

Thanks for your patience! Things are just HOPPING around here, but I’m hoping to catch up on emails tomorrow when I’m happily ensconced in two flights to the Midwest.

Yes, yes ... on top of the other adventures of daily living, we are gathering in Illinois this weekend to celebrate Fred’s mother’s 70th birthday. Fred’s second oldest brother is coming from Zurich (THE Zurich, as in Switzerland). The Berkeley, California and Waukesha, Wisconsin aunts, uncles, and cousins will all be there. And the Montana crew of course! So I need to start getting us packed any minute now.

Before I do so, however, I need to scoot on over to Peacemakers to meet Ken Sande and film an introductory segment and a closing segment for the video series. It really is becoming an “official” Peacemaker resource:



I’m just marveling at it all ... and also hoping that you might pray for me, especially for this filming later on today.

I am so tired–physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

So many people around me are suffering horribly–and I think I’m taking on their sorrow and pain, but really I need to lay it all on the Lord Who promises that His burden is light.

I’m in that “need to pack tampons and pregnancy tests” week again–blergh.

And of all the things I feel up to doing today, packing our entire family and filming two videoclips would NOT make the list.

(Lying around all day and reading or watching mindless videos? Sounds about right.)

But alas, real life calls.

So thanks for praying if I flit through your heart today. And thanks to everyone who has ordered the original DVD Video Series before all of the stuff is deleted and the price goes up. I was incredibly blessed to hear from you all–especially the notes of encouragement. I just don’t know that I could express how much they have all meant to me.

OK. Back to work!

Rejoicing in God my Savior–
(He lives! He really lives!)

Your friend,
Tara B.

If you have an interest in teaching peacemaking cross-culturally (and equipping others–like your short-term missions team members? ful-time missionaries? others?!) to do the same, I just read two great articles on a brand-new blog that you will definitely want to bookmark:

Barretts Reflections

Bob and Sue Barrett provide wonderful insights and training in cross-cultural peacemaking, so be sure to bookmark their site if this is an interest to you!

Oh, and good morning! Happy Tuesday!

Fred stayed up until 2AM working on a big project and Sophie and I have to leave to go to our friend’s home in about an hour to help watch a boatload of kids again for the entire day. So I won’t be reachable until evening–or if I just CRASH tonight–tomorrow.

Hope you have a great day–

Love,
Tara B.

Fred and I continue to make little steps of progress in working through this difficult season in our marriage. Yet again, I really appreciate how he has persevered when I have felt tired and pretty “dead” inside and didn’t really want to keep working on things. (I think I switch into a “survival” mentality when there is just so much to do.)

But yesterday’s baby steps of progress came after a pretty rip-roaring fight.

Church was great, but there was a long lunch afterwards and then an even longer missionary presentation–and while I would’ve loved to go to both, asking four year-old Sophia to sit still for three hours (9AM Sunday School and then an almost two-hour church service) and THEN sit with good manners for a lunch and presentation that went until after 3PM seemed a little extreme. So she and I came immediately home after church.

When Fred finally got home mid-afternoon, he (appropriately) wanted to relax for a few minutes. Check in with the Cubs. Read the paper. Very understandable, of course.

But here’s the thing ... we were already in the middle of talking about all of this marriage / hard stuff / what’s going on in our hearts / what does the gospel have to do with it / how can we both stop being so defensive and proud / etc. etc. etc., so when he came home and just relaxed without even acknowledging the 500 lb elephant in the room, it REALLY made it hard for me to trust him.

So after, you know, a LOOOOOONG conversation (really? FIGHT), we figured that out (along with a bunch of other stuff of course) and came to these conclusions:

1. It is completely understandable that there are certain times when someone is just not going to be ready to talk about hard/deep/painful stuff. (For Fred yesterday, it was right after getting home from six hours at church. For me, often, it’s late at night. By the dinner-put-the-kid-to-bed time of the day, I’m usually FRIED.)

2. However, acknowledging reality really helps to build trust. ("Honey, I know that there is something really important that we need to talk about / are right in the middle of talking about. But I am asking for your forbearance because I am FRIED. Would it be OK with you if we put that conversation off until [SPECIFIC TIME THAT WORKS WELL FOR BOTH OF YOU]? I would really appreciate it.")

I don’t know if these insights will help any of you who might be currently in the middle of an extended difficult season in a relationship, but just in case, I wanted to share them with you.

Ahhhhhh–relationships. It’s all peacemaking fun and rosy red flowers, eh?
Nope. It’s real life in a real world. But there IS grace for the day.

Hope your Monday is off to a good start! We stayed up too late watching family movies last night (hence the Choza movie I posted at like midnight)–so we’re a little slow on the start this morning, but it was worth it.

Much love,
Tara B.

Looking through old family movies tonight, we found this classic of Sophia and our first Golden, Choza:



What a sweet puppy! I miss her. Oh, and I can’t believe Sophie was ever that little.

G'nite and God bless!

Love,
Tara B.

I have a friend who is currently fighting for her life against cancer. I pray for her–for treatments, relief from nausea, comfort, a cure. But every time we interact, the truth is that she is the one who ministers to ME.

Even just a few lines from her in an email convict me of my own faithlessness and encourage me in my battle to stop questioning God’s goodness and SUBMIT to Him. Trust Him. Worship Him. Stop being so Tara-focused!

Because there she is, rejoicing over God’s provision of a stylish wig. There she is, rejoicing in the Light of the Lord and the ministry of His people.

She wrote me this morning:

"I have a friend who used to teach “God only gives you the grace for your actual situation, not for your vain imaginations.” She is right. I knew she would be.

Her son was diagnosed at a young age, perfectly healthy just having a routine checkup, and was dead within a month. She said she used to have a horror that one of her children would die and her life would end. She was amazed that God had more life for her after this all happened!

I hope God has more life here on this planet for me, but He has always held me in that fragile web called “Earth life” (where He holds you and everyone else, too) and I just presumed upon Him that I would, of course, get to be an old lady someday. Whatever He will do is the best thing!"

Praying for you, dear friend! SO grateful our paths overlapped. Sending you love and–oh yeah–THANKS for letting me share your words on this blog.

We’re off to church in a few minutes, so I must dash–

Happy, Blessed Sabbath to you all!
Sunday! The best day of the week.

Yours,
Tara B.

Sophia tried to ride her bike without training wheels for the first time this weekend:



Good thing someone bigger and stronger was running beside her and keeping her safe:

Have you ever met/encountered-in-real-life someone REALLY famous?

It hasn’t happened that much to me and I never thought I’d find it all that big of a deal. (I’ve always thought that big-time fame must not be that great of a thing–other than the good you can do because of it.)

But apparently, I get star-struck and glassy-eyed with the rest of 'em:

- Once I walked right past Daniel Barenboim on Michigan Avenue right outside of Orchestra Hall. I completely froze and with my jaw dropped could only blurt out, “Maestro!” He smiled in return.

- Dan Quayle’s wife, Marilyn, and her many Secret Service agents, walked right past me when I was at an ATM in undergrad. I kind of felt bad that I hadn’t gone to hear her speak but I did greet her warmly.

- Nadia Salerno-Sonnenberg smoked a cig in a practice room at my college back when I was still a piano performance major. (Who? Tara? Piano? Yes, yes ... that was a LONG time ago.)

I’ve driven three Supreme Court Justices from Outer Mongolia all around a tour of Chicago. I’ve prayed with Pastor John Piper before a big conference plenary session. And I’ve had some Christian conciliation cases with people whose names you would recognize–but (OF COURSE!)–names I would never tell anyone (who didn’t have a need/right to know). Not even Fred.

But my all-time big-time famous person interaction JUST happened a few weeks ago in the WorldClub in Minneapolis.

Sophia and I were heading toward the snacks and we walked right past Hal Holbrook and his assistant! Good thing Soph is such a cutie-pie ... I didn’t even feel that silly stammering out something along the lines of, “Wow! Hi! It’s an honor to meet you! We’re big fans. We LOVED you in The West Wing!” (He played a GREAT occasional character named Albie Duncan.)

It’s funny, isn’t it, how weird it feels to interact in “real life” with someone we’ve only seen on a screen or stage far away? I still laugh at my deer-in-the-headlights moments.

Hope you have a great Saturday!

Love,
Tara B.

We’re having a fun day around these parts–hope you are too.

The kids took pretty much every pillow, cushion, and blanket we had and built a great fort this morning:



Totally reminded me of when my sister and I used to do the same. (Although Kali and I also used to do these amazing–to us at least–flying Nadia Comaneci leaps off of the couch INTO the forts, and I didn’t let Sophia and our friend do THAT.)

We also read another couple of chapters in our wonderful read-out-loud-only-when-our-friend-Ian-is-over book, “Three Tales of My Father’s Dragon.”



It’s a GREAT book to read out loud to children and I highly recommend it.

Both Sophia and our friend (who is a seven year-old boy) commented this morning on how this book is “SO FUN” and also how they BOTH really didn’t think it WOULD be any fun when I told them a few weeks ago that I would be reading it out loud to them every time Ian came for a visit (and ONLY when Ian is here).

Now we get to the end of a chapter and they BOTH ask for “Just one more chapter?! Please!” because it is so funny and interesting and we all really want to find out what happens NEXT.

(The mark of a great book, eh?)

Back to the happy chaos–

Your friend,
Tara B.

My friend told a great story this week at friend/prayer group about how her family was on a trip over the 4th of July and her husband wanted to try to find a spot by a lake to watch the fireworks–but they weren’t that familiar with the area and it was hard/inconvenient to try to figure out where to park, how to find anything in the dark (after wrestling young children into jeans and putting on bug repellant), etc. etc. She said she was tempted to grouse and complain, but grace prevailed (at least externally), and she dutifully got the kids ready and schlepped through the dark with the family.

AND THEN ...

It was just the most glorious night ever. They found a perfect spot on a perfect beach, snuggled under blankets, ooooh’d and aaaahh’d over the show, everyone getting along, the children leaning happily against one another–you know, one of those (VERY RARE) times when real life really does look like something you’d see on a Folgers Christmas commercial.

Listening to her retell the story with tears in her eyes over God’s grace to give her family such a sweet memory, I reflected on just how many times I grouse and complain (even if “only” in my heart), kick and scream, even WAIL ... all the way to a blessing beyond anything I could have ever imagined.

How great the Father’s love is for us, His oft' doubting children!
He delights in giving good gifts to His children.
He truly, truly does.

It is God’s CHARACTER to be a loving and good Father–especially to children whose thoughts and behaviors are often selfish and rotten.

A good reminder on a Thursday night and every night!

We’re about to enjoy a little date night with our favorite Chinese takeout and an episode of “House MD” on HuLu.com, so I need to sign off.

G'nite and God bless!

Sending you love–
Tara B.

PS
I’m loving being at home with Sophia (and Lili):



It’s great to reconnect with Fred and be able to serve our friends here more consistently too.

Last night our church had a wedding shower for BrittleCrazyGlass (one of the most godly, intelligent, and modest–but also one of the most stunningly beautiful–women I’ve ever seen). The organizers did an incredible job not only honoring the future bride, but also of reminding us all how precious our own marriages are. They had us drop off our wedding albums in advance and did a little game based on stories from our weddings.

OH MY STARS! If your church has never done such a thing, I HIGHLY recommend it. It was SO incredibly FUN to see wedding photos from the families in our church! And to hear the stories? Let me tell you, I NEVER would’ve guessed that a certain mild-mannered church leader was CLARK KENT GORGEOUS on his wedding day! Nor would I have known that another of our members (who is simply one of the most godly men I’ve ever met) would’ve CHUCKED A CHESS BOARD AT A WALL during his honeymoon. (He was, apparently, immediately regretful. )

G'nite again–

Love,
t

Oh! Some of the emails I receive (and blog comments too–but they don’t remain long). Accusatory. Questioning my motives–if not downright DECLARING the blackness of my heart. (And on and on.)

(Of course, as my pastor’s article on The Cross and Criticism reminds us all–whatever their accusation, they don’t know the half of it when it comes to the depths of my sin!)

Anyway ... I was thinking about all of this when I read a stellar (and brief) entry at the 9 Marks blog so I wanted to share it with you:

Adversarial Blogging

What a good reminder of how easy it is to judge and accuse in our relationships (and our blogs!).

But we are called to a different standard.

And as we breathe grace with our words (even when we disagree passionately!), not only is it morally good (it’s the right thing to do!) ... it just FEELS better too. “How good and PLEASANT it is when brothers dwell in unity!”

I don’t know about you, but I could surely use a more grace-based atmosphere in my home, with my friends, in my church, with my extended family, and always on this little blog too. May God help me! (He does. He does.)

Hope you enjoy a lovely Wednesday! I have a big project to tackle today–so I hope that I don’t do my typical procrastinate thing. How cool would it be if I were simply diligent and knocked it right off?

With love and joy,
Tara B.

So ... I had invited a friend to meet me this morning for a nice walk with Lilikoi on the beautiful rimrocks that surround Billings:



BUT THEN (scary music here), I happened to mention said walk to my other Golden Momma friend, and she explained that we just CAN’T go up on the rims "BECAUSE THE SNAKES ARE REALLY BAD THIS YEAR" (!!!!).

Yes, yes. That’s right. Apparently, you know, MINUTES from our home, THE RATTLERS are having their babies and populating up the nice trails we walked on all winter long. “My son saw a FOUR FOOTER recently,” mentions my friend (!!!!!).

I casually mentioned this little exchange at Fred’s softball game last night (thinking it was an amusing if not shocking anecdote), but the six people surrounding me (including CHILDREN) didn’t even BLINK. “Yup.” "Yes." “Oh, yeah. You can’t go up on Zimmerman trail again until winter. The snakes are really bad when it gets hot.”

So here’s the question I asked them:

WHERE DO PEOPLE IN MONTANA GO TO LEARN THIS STUFF?!?!

I mean, SERIOUSLY! I had just (innocently) invited my friend to (apparently) the WALK OF DEATH. Is there a book or something I should read to AVOID such things in the future?

(Totally reminded me of the very first time Fred and I ever visited Montana. Have I told you that story? How we were charged by a moose during rutting season, asked a native about it the next day, and received this casual reply, “Oh. Yeah. Well ... I never go on that trail unless I have MY GUN” (!!!!). Fred and I still laugh–somewhat nervously–when we think about it.)

Anyway ... no early morning rattlesnake-filled walk for me today. And for you too, I hope.



Happy Tuesday!

Love,
Tara B.

Five kids +
A “pool” barely bigger than a grande coffee cup +
One Golden Retriever puppy = FUN!

Well … it’s official. Peacemaker Ministries is going to adopt my video series (“Living the Gospel in Relationships”) as their women’s study.

I am honored and thrilled, of course, and as promised, I am posting this blog to give you one more chance to purchase the series in its original format at its current price.

If you order by July 30, 2008, you can get my eight-part video series for $50 (or two complete sets for $75).

But once Peacemakers takes over distribution, the cost for all of us will jump to $99/set.

In addition to the price nearly doubling:

- The Peacemaker version will not include any of the eight Trudy Poirier original compositions;

- The data disc (with an electronic version of the 104-page study guide) will not be included and the current copyright (allowing you to print or xerox unlimited copies of the study guide) is going away too. (So in the future, you will have to buy the guides from Peacemakers and Fred is estimating that the cost will be around $8 or $9/ea.);

- My favorite videoclip parable (“Peacemaker Junkie”) will be removed;

- You will no longer get to see the behind-the-scenes/blooper reel or Q&A session; but …

- Peacemakers will include five copies of the study guide.

Other than those changes, the series will be pretty much the same and you will be able to purchase it from both Peacemakers and me at the $99 cost.

Fred and I truly hope that we have made a wise decision by allowing Peacemakers to carry the series as their own. How we pray that God will be glorified and His women will be encouraged to trust more readily and completely in Jesus Christ, our beloved Savior and King!

One last administrative note: If you do order from me between now and July 30, I won’t be able to ship until early August. I hope that this isn’t too much of an inconvenience to you.

Please let me know if you have any questions!

With love,
Tara B.

We really enjoyed a new toy this past weekend. (It was actually my birthday present from my sister. She asked me what I wanted and I gave her a list of super-cool educational toys that I wished I could buy for Sophia. )

It’s called Safari Undercover and it’s basically a big spatial reasoning puzzle. Sophia LOVED it and would’ve kept cranking through all of the (increasing) levels if we hadn’t reined her in:



If you have a logic-game addict kid like Soph, we highly recommend it.

Oh, and our other toy recommendation is, of course, a Golden Retriever who loves to play in water:



Hope you have a lovely Monday!

Your friend,
Tara B.

We were blessed to have Bruce Clark preach from chapters 4 and 5 of Revelation this morning. The title of his sermon was:'And I Began to Weep Loudly': Unspeakable Loss and Divine Holiness. I was encouraged, challenged, and edified by his entire sermon, but in particular I wanted to tell you just a few of the points he made:

- John’s readers had all experienced profound LOSS in at least two forms: suffering and seduction. So how do you keep going when you keep experiencing loss and you keep failing over and over (and over!) again?

- The answer to our temptation to despair is NOT an apologetic, cultural critique, moving/emotional story OR another list of “ten things TO DO.” No. Revelation provides not an explanation but an ENCOUNTER.

- Through an encounter with God, we behold the proclamation of Divine Holiness and God’s unquestionable rule from Heaven. God’s perfect reign is seen in the sea of perfect glass–not a ripple exists in the water because God is so perfectly sovereign over everything.

- God is SO shrewd! He is SO wise! We are tempted to freak out (my words, not the articulate Mr. Clark’s), point fingers, blame each other, condemn ourselves ... DESPAIR. But God is in control. In our turmoil, we cry out, “Can God REALLY handle this?!?!” But the answer is ALWAYS, “Yes.” God alone is worthy and able. We can trust Him.

- To struggle and doubt is the norm for the Christian. We can admit how bad things really are because we know that all of this bad stuff will be dealt with. Jesus is the picture of loss and defeat. Look at Him! He drew the evil onto Himself. He drew them DOWN and then defeated them. Jesus stands and because He stands, you can stand too. Jesus says, “Lose with me! And you will win.”

- See God’s holiness, even in your loss. Don’t stop crying out to God! Find someone who will keep watch with you–sit with you, not condemn you, not be frustrated by your doubt. Recognize how dangerous you are to satan’s causes when you suffer, ask why, have NO idea why, look around, things are SO bad ... and you trust and obey God anyway.

One day we will weep no more.

Amen & amen!

Come quickly Lord Jesus. Please guard our hearts!

Sending you love,
Tara B.

In yet another reminder of His loving care, God has provided for our need of ours before we even asked Him about it!

It has to do with the light fixture above our dining room table. For some inexplicable reason, the glass just started breaking, shattering, and dropping big pieces to the ground. (Not a great situation, especially with small children and Goldens running around.)



My next plan was just to remove it and have a bare bulb until our finances turned around a bit and we could afford a new light fixture, but then this weekend, friends from church (out of the blue) just gave us their old one:



I know it’s a small thing, but it really struck a chord in my heart and reminded me that my Heavenly Father knows my needs and delights in giving me, not rocks, but fish to eat.

Oh, and once again, Fred persevered in leading us through (another!) hard conversation. (This little stretch of distance and sorrow and “un-connectedness” in our marriage has been the longest we have ever experienced and we were both growing quite discouraged and sad about it.) It was so hard! But God truly did provide and even last night, Fred and I began to (by faith) take baby steps to reach out to each other again.

I am heading to bed slightly more hopeful and I have a renewed sense of the goodness of God. Now THAT truly is grace.

Good night and God bless!

Yours,
Tara B.

There are so many things that I can’t do–or I am simply unskilled at or ignorant of. This is especially true concerning domestic tasks like sewing, crocheting, knitting, etc.

I regularly try to introduce Sophia to women (and men) who are gifted in areas that I am weak and I explain to her that we are all good at some things and weak at others (that’s why we have the Body of Christ). But I also do try to (occasionally) tackle a new area and jump right in.

One of our little “playtime” crafts has done just that. It is a very simple needlecraft made especially for young children. We only tackle a few squares/lines at a time whenever Sophie gets the urge to “sew,” but it is a great exercise in concentration and fine motor skill control:



It’s also a nice thing to do as a whole family (while Dad catches up on the Chicago Cubs online):



Of course, I always tell her, “If Grandma Chris or Auntie Janet ever tell you, ‘No, that’s not the way you do it. Here, let me show you ..’ then she should LISTEN TO THEM!” Because I really don’t have a CLUE as to what I am doing.

(How you are supposed to tie off those yarns is a mystery to me! And is there a certain WAY you are supposed to go from one color to the next? I have no clue. But, it’s fun and Sophie likes to cuddle and do projects with me and I like to cuddle and do projects with Sophie, so we just keep on cruising along.)

Oh, and after a nice afternoon of needlepointing, we like to curl up with a Golden Retriever totally chewing on her bone on top of us, don’t you?



Hope your Sabbath is wonderful tomorrow! May God soften our hearts and give us ears to hear His Word, believe it, and obey.

Much love,
Tara B.

We very much enjoyed our little taste of Americana small-town parade this morning:



Sophia did pretty well with the whole “Lord of the Flies”-winner take all-survival of the fittest environment created by the candy/toy tosses from the floats. She was appropriately motivated to try to run to something, but also very gracious and quick to share, so that was great:



She was, however, TERRIFIED by the clowns for some inexplicable reason:



We send our love and hope that you are enjoying a fun and restful 4th of July!

Your friends,
Fred & Tara Barthel
Sophia Grace

Wow! This is GREAT!

Someone has put up a website to help people reunite with lost memory sticks and cameras:

Found Cameras and Orphan Pictures

I lost every single photo and movie from a cruise that my sister took us on in 2005 (I still cringe when I think about it!) ... so who knows? Maybe my memory card will show up on this site one of these days.

(HT: MommyLife.net for the great link.)

(Oh! And BE CAREFUL! The “PostSecret” section apparently has very inappropriate photos.)

Today I had the joy of hosting FIVE CHILDREN in our home.

Three are from a family who is about to leave on a missions trip, but first they have to do a last-minute (aren’t they all?) quick trip this weekend to Washington state for a funeral–and I thought the mom might enjoy some “alone time” running errands and doing laundry/packing, etc.

The other child is the son of a dear (dear!) friend of mine from church and I’ve been wanting to get to know him for YEARS now, so I’m very grateful that my friend is allowing him to spend some time in our home this summer.

Everything went great as far as the kids were concerned. We had a little Bible/catechism/prayer time, the three “big kids” read out loud, we played Monkey Math as a group, and then they all just played “on their own” while I made lunch.

Five custom-made-to-order PBNJ sandwiches, some carrots, grapes, bananas and cheese sticks later, it was time to coat up in sunscreen and get nice and hot/dirty/wet outside:



The hardest parts of my day had nothing to do with keeping five children alive and (hopefully!) relatively happy:

1. I dropped a can of soda and it EXPLODED. I mean ABSOLUTELY EXPLODED!!! A terrible, sticky, horribly gooey, impossible to clean up MESS from ceiling to wall to floor to cabinet and back up another cabinet to another wall and another area of the ceiling. A TOTAL DISASTER.

2. As I was scrubbing and working to clean up the mess (don’t you think God is telling me to STOP DRINKING SODA!!!??!!), I didn’t see two rusty nails in the wall and I ran my hand over them with a cleaner-soaked paper towel and TOTALLY gashed open DEEP wounds (which then were immediately filled with stinging cleaner solution). Nice.

3. Just after I put bandaids on the wounds (which quickly overfilled with blood), I opened a package but didn’t see that it was one of those AWFUL grey-paper-shredded-stuffed packages and promptly spread GREY DUSTY FUZZ all over my dining room.

4. As I’m vacuuming up the HUGE mess, I note that my vacuum is SO over-filled and stuffed, so I take it apart to empty it and see this nice language on the filter inside: “For best performance change filter every 6 months. Write-on reminder. Change the filter on: ______”



(I mean REALLY! Are there people in the world who actually DO that??!! Hmmmm ... a part of me really WANTS to be that person. But a part of me thinks, “Really?! Could I ever remember to DO that?!”)

I bet that if I changed the filter every six months, the stuff I pulled out of it wouldn’t have looked like this:



Clearly, when I THOUGHT I was cleaning with this thing, I’ve just been SPREADING DIRT.

5. On top of it all, I receive an email that pretty much broke my heart and crushed my spirit and THEN I received a phone call where someone literally YELLED at me (even though I am trying to help them with something for no other reason than love of God and love of neighbor). BLERGH.

Oh well. The good news is that, with my bleeding hand, AS I tried to clean up the sticky exploded soda mess ... I discovered super-top-secret perfectly-sized-for-cans-of-paint SHELVES!! It was like discovering Narnia for an organizing-addict like me!



Oh, that Ken Sande! (He owned our house before us.) He thinks of everything. He even gave us his old pancake griddle because he had CUSTOM BUILT a special shelf over the fridge JUST for that exact model. So fun.

(You know ... honestly? I can’t wait until the recently-mopped-sticky-floor dries so that I can put some more cans of paint in recently-discovered shelf!)

Anyway ... the day ended nicely with me reading out loud, Three Tales of My Father’s Dragon. Then we all played wedgits and ate apple slices.

Truly, grace abounds.

Hope you enjoy a lovely 4th of July!

Yours,
Tara B.

I love to check in with the fine art that Taylor Lynde is (so generously!) offering on his ebay site. It gives me a little picture into what art trips he has been taking lately and what their family has been doing.

(Taylor is my best friend, Samara’s, husband and proud papa of Scout and William.)



Here are a couple of current listings that are still well under $100 (!!):





In art galleries, his larger prints sell for thousands! But he also makes art available to the rest of us ( ) with some placements on ebay:

Taylor Lynde Art Listing on Ebay

I recently purchased a print for a friend (she should receive it soon! it’s a total surprise to her!) and I think I’m more excited about that than just about anything these days.

Anyway ... I wanted to remind you of his site AND remind you that he does do incredible commissions too. So if you have photos from a family vacation this summer that you would LOVE to have an original artwork of, drop him a note and see if he has time in his schedule! These photos just don’t do the art justice. You have to seem them in real life to see the depth of their beauty.

I’m off to walk Lilikoi now!

Hope you have a great Thursday.

Yours,
Tara B.

PS
This is the most recent TJ Lynde treasure that our family has acquired:



What a gift! I can’t even imagine what it must be like to be able to create something so beautiful.

To God be the glory!

If you’ve watched my DVD video series ("Living the Gospel in Relationships") and you have a strong feeling about this question EITHER WAY (pro or con), would you PRETTY PLEASE leave a comment or drop me an email and let me know?

Should the original music (by Trudy Poirier) be included in Tara’s video series? If so, why? And if not, why?

Please note that we already know that it’s confusing as to HOW it should be used and (if we include it), we plan to remedy that with instructions in the “instructor’s guide” / "quick-start guide" and more clear instructions in the study guide.

But one person at Peacemakers feel very strongly that the music should NOT be included (but I don’t know why); and others think that the music is very edifying and worshipful and SHOULD be included (especially for the more “auditory” learners).

We’re getting down to the wire on finalizing all of this stuff, and I thought that your comments might prove helpful to the decision-makers. So thanks for sharing your $.02.

Love ya!
– Tara B.

PS
Please don’t be afraid to say, “TAKE THE MUSIC OUT, TARA!” I promise, I won’t be hurt. It’s nothing personal. We’re all just trying to make the best decision we can to serve and encourage the most number of people. I’m really asking for your constructive criticism/feedback. (Oh, but also please don’t be afraid to say, “KEEP THE MUSIC IN, TARA! IT’S GREAT.”

Recently, I taught my friend how to back up her Outlook file. (Like me, she DEPENDS on her emails and tasklists and would be in big trouble if she lost both.)

The process isn’t that hard–but in order to type out exact instructions for her, I took all of the steps to find my OWN outlook file. And BOY was it HUGE. Giguntous-a-mungo HUGE. Way too big, in fact, for the small size of my old laptop.

So I decided to do a little purging of my old email files. I stay on top of my sent messages and deleted messages, but it had been a LONG time since I had gone into my old EVENT directories and really slashed and burned.

It was INCREDIBLY humbling to look back on all of your events! Mississippi, Indiana, Florida, Texas, Wisconsin, Alabama, Tennessee, Colorado, Georgia, Pennsylvania, California, Minnesota, Virginia, South Carolina, Hawaii, Wyoming, Illinois, North Carolina, Missouri, Kansas, New Jersey, Maryland, West Virginia, and more! I am amazed that God would allow our paths to cross and grant me the privilege of serving you.

Event hosts?! Oh my! I could tell stories. Some of my event folders had 200+ emails (those event hosts, LIKE ME, were VERY detail-oriented). My smallest number of emails was 12. (I don’t think I really had a CLUE what that event was going to be like until I was wheels-down and onsite.)

Speaker thank you gifts?! I STILL treasure them. A baby quilt for Sophia; a blingy & un-lawyer-Tara-like super cool pen; a fancy-shmancy serving tray that I use for holidays and parties ... and always think of you all with SO much love and appreciation, I just can’t describe it.

I’ve been blessed by you all! Booktable helpers I wish I could tuck in my pocket and take home with me. Hurting women who I wanted so badly to protect and comfort and help. Drivers who had NO IDEA where we were and where the event was–but it all worked out.

I saw photos of me at my absolutely HIGHEST weight. Eek! Oh my! There was a LOT of Tara going on.

And I saw thank you notes post-event (and a few confrontations I should note too!). I even received a “real mail” card today from dear Martha10–an event host turned email/blog buddy turned real-life friend.

You know, I never assume that I will ever receive another invitation to serve at an event. I am always amazed when an “event inquiry form” pops into my Inbox.

And I guess I just wanted to say thank you. Thanks to each one of you. Those of you who have stayed on my little “stay-in-touch-with-the-Barthels” mailing list, please know that I pray for you often by name. And to every single one of you I have had the privilege of serving ... thank you. You bless my socks off. I am sockless.

Oh! AND I’m making a REAL dinner tonight (drum roll please!), so I’d better run.

(I used one of those oven bag thingies for a roast from Costco and I’m thinking it might turn out fine BUT I accidentally touched the top of the bag to the OVER BURNER when I was putting it in. And oven safe or not, that bag MELTED!! So things didn’t smell that good initially but now things are smelling nice and yummy/homey. I just WISH I knew how to make mashed potatoes!! That would be SO domestic and is exactly what I’d LIKE to make with it. Maybe one of these days ...)

God bless & gnite!

Yours,
Tara B.

I know you might not believe it ... but I touched BEANS this weekend!

Yes, yes ... it’s not like I touched YEAST or something ... but still ...

I’ve been wanting to (gear up the courage to) try PalmTree Pundit’s White Bean Dip and Pita Chips for, you know, a LONG time. But the recipe had SCARY LIKE A SPIDER words like “drain & rinse” and referenced a FOOD PROCESSOR (which up until age 38, I’d never owned), so I kept putting it off and off. For months.

And then, FINALLY, talking with my sister on the phone, I SOMEHOW found the courage to a) buy a food processor; and b) WASH AND RINSE BEANS. And do you know what? It wasn’t really that hard after all.



The food processor thingy was, in fact, SCARY. (Man! You could lose a finger in that thing!) But cool, too. HOW FUN to actually chop things JUST LIKE A REAL WIFEY.

But the rest was just fun. Spices and a REAL lemon and all of that. (Although I DO need to buy a “juicer.” Didn’t have one so I just had to improvise getting the juice OUT of the REAL LIVE LEMON.)

Here was the result:





Thanks, PalmTree Anne! You have blessed our family yet again. Now if we can just get PalmGirl to share some of her cooking brilliance with us ... we’ll be set!

Oh, and didn’t Fred look HANDSOME this morning as he left for work wearing the super-cool shirt his mom gave him for his birthday?



Happy Tuesday!

Love ya,
Tara B.

Doesn’t peacemaking always sound a lot better in the hypothetical or academic realm?

I mean, wouldn’t you rather read a nice book on the doctrine of sin or practice a nice “Seven A’s of Confession” at a practicum or conference ... rather than, you know, having to call someone at 3:00 on a Tuesday and actually CONFESS your sin to them? (And then have to write a bog post on it too because the offense was public so the confession needs to be public too.)

Ahhhh–but such is life in a fallen world. The Old Man resides with us. Satan rears his ugly head. The world batters us around ... and we bump into each other, intentionally and unintentionally. People get hurt. Confessions must be made. Forgiveness is so sweet when granted!

As it was for me, just a few minutes ago.

Apparently, a sister in Christ was hurt by a blog post that I wrote awhile back. Interestingly, the actual post that caused the offense was only up for a few hours because I EDITED it almost immediately after writing it because even I could see that my original words were offensive and inappropriate.

But she had read the original post and it hurt her. Thankfully, I learned that she was hurt and I immediately called and asked if we could set up a time to visit. She graciously scheduled time for me today and after hearing how I had hurt her, I confessed my sin and asked her to forgive me. She was quick to forgive and didn’t even think that this public apology/blog post was necessary ... but she was OK with me doing it if I felt it was best. And I did. So here it is:

Some time last month, I wrote a blog post where I used some ungracious language. It was related to the editing process of my DVD series. I can’t even remember the exact words I used–and I don’t have access to the original blog–but I know that the words I used were rude and not edifying and I regret them. I wish I had never said them! It was wrong of me and I feel terrible about hurting this dear sister in the Lord.

If I hurt or offended you, would you please let me know so that I can confess specifically to you?

Please know that, with God’s help, I hope that I do not use such unloving and inappropriate words in a blog post (or in any context) ever again.

Thanks for listening to my apology!
I hope that you’ll let me know if I’ve offended you.

Oh oh oh ... this life is oft' so hard. But God is so good.

Hope you’re enjoying a lovely Tuesday!

Yours,
Tara B.