considerable grace

Sophie and I were reading in Luke 19 last night for our cuddle-time night-time Bible reading. After we read the story of Zacchaeus, we had an important conversation about the gospel. It went something like this:

"Sophie? What happened first? Did Zacchaeus stop doing bad things and start doing good things and THAT’S WHY Jesus called Zacchaeus out of the tree and said He had to stay at Zacchaeus' house? Or, did Jesus call out to Zacchaeus–did He “seek and save” Zacchaeus–and THEN, in response to God’s mercy and love, did Zacchaeus repent?"

“Jesus called Zacchaeus and in response to His mercy, Zacchaeus repented.”

“That’s right! And that’s exactly how it is for us. Left to our own devices, we would love our sin and continue in it. But God, Who is rich in mercy, has made us alive with Him in Christ! It is God’s kindness that leads us to repentance. God loved us when we were yet sinners! And in response, we turn from our sin and find our entire being (every breath, where we live, the jobs we do, how we do the jobs we do, our schooling, money management, stewardship of time, health, relationships, suffering ... all that we are and all that we will ever be) in Him.”

“Bought with a price. We are no longer our own. This is very, very good news.”

Hope you enjoy a restful, God-centered Sabbath today as you are nourished by God Himself through His means of grace – the preaching of His Word by our ordained pastors and the sacraments of baptism and communion.

Yours,
Tara B.

PS
Zacchaeus is a very hard name to spell.

Thanks for all of the kind emails and comments about my last post. Life is just a blast, eh? Nothin' but fun.

WELL ... since I can’t stop the sea from rolling onto the beach, I decided that one thing I could do is make my daughter LAUGH AND LAUGH. So I “elfed” our family (& Lilikoi & Scout).

If you haven’t yet “Elfed Yourself” this year, I hope you will! They’ve added new music options and it’s even more fun than last Christmas.

Here’s the Charleston version ...



And my favorite ... DISCO!



Ya' gotta cry or laugh, eh?
And usually in life, it’s both.

Hope you enjoy!

Yours,
Tara B.

(Excerpts from Psalm 55. If it resonates with your heart today? Please go and read the entire psalm and then you will understand the kind of day/week/season I’m having.)

"Give ear to my prayer, O God,
and hide not yourself from my plea for mercy!

My heart is in anguish within me;
the terrors of death have fallen upon me.

And I say, “Oh, that I had wings like a dove!
I would fly away ..."

But I call to God,
and the Lord will save me.

I will trust in Him."

Praying this isn’t your context today too.

Can’t fly away, can I?
Where would I go?
To whom could I possibly turn?

God alone has the words of eternal life.
And so I remain.

Held by Someone bigger and stronger than me.
As I grieve.

Looking forward to the Sabbath tomorrow–
hoping against hope that it might be restful and not full of pummeling.

Your friend,
Tara B.

PS
A little update after spending HOURS in Scripture (well, with lots of “interruptions” for a certain love-bug) ...

My heart is still ACHING.

Yes, yes, I am tempted to run away–physically if I could, but certainly emotionally.

AND YET ... God is helping me to get my eyes off of ME and onto Him. He is graciously reminding me that this life is not my own. Remember what Dr. Nakhah said? "I am already dead. What can you do to a dead man?" I’ve been bought with a price and the only reason my heart beats and I have one more breath is to glorify God.

Nothing else matters.

It’s hard though, isn’t it? Living, I mean. Life in my fallen body in a fallen world surrounded by fallen people. I never question why people give up. Makes sense to me! And yet ... and yet ...

"There is none like thee among the gods, O Lord, nor are there any works like thine. All the nations thou hast made shall come and bow down before thee, O Lord, and shall glorify thy name.” Psalm 86:8-9

This is my hope. My One True Hope.

Off to do our bedtime routine now–
Grace abounds. Even when life hurts.

G'nite!

Love,
Tara B.

We had a blessed Thanksgiving and hope you did too!

Our day started with a wonderful church service and then we came home to make a simple version of Thanksgiving dinner. My favorite part was making biscuits (yes, yes, “THE” cream of tartar biscuits–the only ones I’ve ever tried to make) with Sophia. Of course we wore the Christmas aprons that Grandma Chris made for us last year:



Then we enjoyed an invigorating walk on top of the Rimrocks:



And our day ended with two new super-fun family games ...

Find It!



(I love games that are genuinely FUN for both kids and adults. Plus? Sophie is BY FAR the best of the three of us–she has eagle eyes and can spot anything.)

Tic Tac Chec



(I’m 38 and I still don’t know how to play chess. But Fred does! And this is, apparently, a GREAT way to introduce young children to the game. Initially, Sophie was a little offput by the rules for the pieces and the strategizing required by the game. But after a few minutes? She was OVER THE MOON EXCITED as she outwitted Fred. I can’t wait until she’s ready for the real game–we told her that Elder Mattson and Uncle Fred and Aunt Kali will be looking forward to playing her one day.)

Hope you have a great Friday!

Yours,
Tara B.

Absolute hysterical laughter. Tears streaming down my face. The kind of funny you just have to share with someone–so I took my laptop over to Fred (plus he was wondering what all the hysteria was about). I need a tissue. SO FUNNY:

And Now a Word from Your Thanksgiving Cakes

(HT: Cake Wrecks–When Professional Cakes Go Horribly, Hilariously Wrong)

For as long as I can remember, I have always loved to read and journal. Read and write. Read, process, read some more, process some more.

I remember trying to figure out typing back when I was seven years old (and typing really meant TYPING–ribbons and swooshy metal rods that swung up and occasionally jammed together in an inky mass of jumbled letters). I have (embarrassing!) journals from every age. (Samara told me recently that there is, apparently, a Broadway “play” where people actually read from their pre-teen and teen JOURNALS. Can you imagine?!) I still remember the exact color and smell of my college dorm room carpet–so many hours did I spend down there with my Bible and a journal.

I credit books with a great deal of my “discipleship”–but in the last few years, I have to credit my pastor, Jason Barrie, with even more. He has been, to quote Fred, one of the greatest evidences of grace in our family’s life and in my life in particular. How grateful we are for a pastor who faithfully ministers the Word in preaching, teaching, and relationship.

So you can understand why I take Pastor Jason’s book recommendations seriously. Years ago? When he sent me in the direction of Michael Horton’s, "Putting Amazing Back into Grace"? I devoured it fundamentally because it pointed me to Christ through His glorious gospel. But I also loved it because my pastor knew, respected, and loved the author from his days at Westminster West–and if Pastor Jason respects and loves someone, I’m probably going to do so too.

With that background, I would like to introduce you to Michael Horton’s latest book and encourage you to consider reading it:

Christless Christianity: The Alternative Gospel of the American Church

There are already a number of reviews floating around on various websites and blogs (and on Amazon too)–so I encourage you to check them out if you’d like the details from careful thinkers (and great writers) like Tim Challies and Pastor Anyabwile.

But rather than trying to “reinvent the horse” (one of my malapropisms that Fred particularly enjoys) and systematically review this great book (that already has a number of thorough reviews), I will instead make only a few comments of reflection:

1. Reading this book helped me to turn away from my slight discomfort over teaching Sophia Grace the last few questions of the Children’s Catechism. ("What will God do to unbelievers on the last day?", “What is hell?”, etc.) While I still believe strongly that young children should be shielded from certain aspects of life in a fallen world, a careful, gentle introduction to the import of eternity is the only way that I know I am actually sharing the true gospel of Jesus Christ with my daughter. Quoting Dr. Horton:

"Satan lulls us to sleep as we trim our message to the banality of popular culture and invoke Christ’s name for anything and everything but salvation from the coming judgment."

Eek! Don’t want to do that.

2. I greatly appreciated the Christ-exalting, gospel-proclaiming endorsements and quotes from across the denominational spectrum: Baptist, United Methodist, Episcopal, Lutheran, and yes, Presbyterian (to name only a few). But how nice that they were not ALL Presbyterian! Don’t get me wrong. I love my church and my denomination–but this book was a great reminder that there are godly, biblical, Spirit-filled men and women in lots of denominations who are committed to faithfully ministering the gospel.

3. This book was a sad reminder of just how wretched sin and unbelief are, particularly the twin evils of Palagianism and Gnosticism. Thankfully, my pastors regularly teach us about such (important) heresies of “works-righteousness calls for moral ascent,” so they weren’t new ideas or terms to me. But I am so dull and so quick to forget just how pervasive these beliefs are in the Christian church! Dr. Horton’s clear and consistent call to remember that “we cannot climb up to God, but God climbed down to us” is on every page of this book.

4. I particularly appreciated his reminders that God’s means of grace are just that–God’s. Preaching isn’t about how much we enjoy an intellectual experience; “in preaching we are addressed.” By God. We don’t choose to be baptized because it makes us feel good; “we are baptized.” By God. “In the Lord’s Supper, Christ gives himself to us as our food and drink for eternal life; it is a banquet set for us–the meal has already been prepared, and Christ even serves it to us through his ministers. We are fed; our filthy rags removed, we are bathed and clothed with Christ and fed for our pilgrimage to the City of God.”

Amen & Amen! What great reminders. What a profound (and readable!) book.

Thank you, Dr. Horton! And dear blog friends–I hope that you will please consider reading this book and introducing it to your friends (and church leaders) too.

5:30AM. I think I’ll climb back into bed for a little nap and a little warmth. (Our heat kicks on around 6AM so I’m a bit of a Tara-cicle during these late night adventures. Even under a blanket. Even with the warm breath of a Golden to keep me company.)

Soon it will be time to start our holiday as a family–and most importantly? To gather at church to receive God’s grace and leave, bearing His marks.

Happy, Blessed Thanksgiving to you all!

Yours,
Tara B.

PS
A number of you have posted comments or dropped me notes over the years about how “Peacemaking Women” and this blog have encouraged you to dig into books that, previously, you had written off as “too hard” or “too deep,” etc. And I just want to cheer you on! And encourage you to keep reading. Whether it’s Bonheoffer or Calvin or Plantinga ... there is something so good and edifying about reading books that stretch us. I also want to encourage you to read for FUN. Melodee Mattson and CJ Mahanney and Tim Challies have all recently challenged me in that regard–and I am the better for it. A little Grisham legal thriller, WWII saga of heroism, and a page-turning book on President Lincoln? Fun stuff!

For specific ideas on how to “read more and read better”, check out this great post by Tim Challies: “10 Tips to Read More and Read Better”.

3AM. Happy Thanksgiving (technically)!

Soph just startled and called out for Momma. Valiant Fred did jump up (to his credit) and hooray (!), no medical trauma in the night. Just a muffin in need of a few minutes with Momma, so I climbed into bed with her and cuddled until she calmly fell back asleep.

'Course Fred was instantly back asleep. And Lilikoi didn’t really come to completely puppy consciousness during the whole adventure. I’m the only awake creature because, well, that’s just the way I am.

I’ve been meaning to post on Michael Horton’s (wonderful! and painful ...) Christless Christianity, so maybe I’ll do that in a few minutes.

I do have my very last paid writing work for the year due soon, so I may be diligent and get right on that.

But first? I thought a LAUGH might be the way to go. So thanks to the wonders of Google and Hulu, I found this hysterical Thanksgiving episode of “WKRP in Cincinnati”.

You youngsters might not recognize the 1970’s theme music and hair and clothes, but I found it a strangely comforting flashback to some of the happier memories from my childhood ... staying up all night playing the original Space Invaders until is rolled over from 99,999 to 0 again (no pause button on the black and white television, no sir!); our first VHS machine and microwave; watching “The Six Million Dollar Man” and “Happy Days” and “M*A*S*H”. (Television obviously factored very heavily into my formative years.)

But mostly? I just laughed and laughed. If you have 24 minutes and want to laugh at silly dialogue and a very silly plot, enjoy “Turkeys Away”.

Hope your resting now and that your Thanksgiving is a blessed one. We will head to church at 10:00AM for our “evidences of God’s grace” service–an annual favorite for our church family.

"Now thank we all our God,
with heart and hands and voices,
who wondrous things hath done,
in whom his world rejoices;
who from our mother’s arms
hath blessed us on our way
with countless gifts of love,
and still is ours today.

O may this bounteous God
through all our life be near us,
with ever-joyful hearts
and blessèd peace to cheer us;
and keep us in his grace,
and guide us when perplexed,
and free us from all ills
in this world and the next.

All praise and thanks to God
the Father now be given,
the Son, and Holy Ghost,
supreme in highest heaven,
the one eternal God,
whom earth and heaven adore;
for thus it was, is now,
and shall be evermore."

With love,
Tara B.

I’ve tried to write this post a few times now, but each version has sounded too whiny to my ear so I’ve deleted them all. (Especially because in my heart, I haven’t really even felt whiny! Well, maybe I had a whiny heart initially. )

But not today. Not now. Not after reading this post from Carolyn McCulley. How could I be anything other than grateful? And grateful, I am.

But I would also like to try to put words together to articulate a few things that have struck me recently as being NOT HELPFUL. My hope is that I will avoid such things in the future (!!) and also maybe give you dear blog friends a little chuckle and a little help avoiding such things too.

So here is my brief list of things I have recently found to be NOT HELPFUL:

1. My insurance agent (who I really like by the way!) saying something to the effect of, “I always make them sign a form saying that there is no damage to my rental car when I return it” RIGHT AFTER I had just told him that our rental car company for the CCEF Conference is claiming that we owe them $1,000 (!!!) for damage that, OF COURSE, we didn’t do. Good advice? Sure. But the timing is a little off, don’t you think? (Ergh!)

2. Anonymous criticism. You know, someone is unhappy with ME, so they tell someone ELSE, who then confronts me with vague, nameless accusations in an EMAIL that is cc’d to a LARGE number of people. Is the offended person encouraged to talk with me directly so that I could, I don’t know, learn from the criticism, confess any sins and offenses I may have done, etc. etc.? Ummmmm ... nope. Am I ever told the offended person’s name so that I could try to follow-up and, well, I don’t know, do that “peacemaking thing”? Ummmmm ... nope. (And ironically, every single person involved has been well-taught the foundational biblical peacemaking principles. Yup, you betcha, sure.) So I would put this one squarely in the “not so helpful” category.

3. A rude and belittling scheduler for a hospital test for my four year-old daughter. You know–right after I am told that my precious daughter’s medical condition is such that, not only do we need to get her in immediately for a hospital test (and the only available day is, of course, the VERY DAY of our Nativity Play wherein Sophie is one of three angels and I am, hypothetically, supposed to be RUNNING the play) AND that I need to somehow figure out how our family can afford to get her to Denver to see a specialist, etc. etc. ... trying not to be too scared; trying to trust in Christ; but being a typical concerned Momma ... I’m just thinkin' that a rude and belittling scheduler for the hospital is (altogether now!) not helpful.

4. Giving advice on how to BETTER TIME A MEAL at the exact moment your friend (let’s call her LARA), who has absolutely NO confidence in her ability to cook ANYWAY, is completely embarrassed that something that should’ve taken 20 minutes to cook (and for which she compulsively allowed 40 minutes to cook “JUST IN CASE”), has taken an hour so OF COURSE, her guests are there eating side dishes with no main course for the beginning of the meal (!!). Good advice? Probably! I don’t know. I was too swirled-up in my crazy-ol-Tara-brain to hear much of anything that was going on anyway (b/c I just couldn’t BELIEVE that I had messed up another meal AGAIN! ergh! sensing a pattern with the ol' “pride / perfectionism / a mature person would just laugh at herself, etc. etc.”??) ... but the timing could’ve been better. Maybe not at the moment of my failure, eh? Maybe not in front of a table full of people? (I barely stayed at the table. I just wanted to run out of the room and cry.)

5. But before you all bombard me with giant confrontations of how I’m too hard on myself, let me please tell you the REAL cause of this post because it has actually been brewing for months now in the back of my crazy little head. It has to do with one of my (MANY!) annoying habits and immaturities–my propensity to be too self-critical. Have I been this way my entire life? Yah, you betcha, sure. Have I been confronted about it for, oh, say, 38 years? Yup. Is it pride? Yes! Lack of faith! Of course! Am I growing in grace? My theology says YES, so that’s what I’m banking on–but I sure do still have a LONG LONG way to go yet. So I never question why people confront me on it (I know it’s one of the uglier aspects of me); but it just seemed like this fall, for weeks and weeks, I had an OCEAN of CRITICISM just POUNDING me like waves pummeling over a little broken twig on a beach. Emails. Calls. In person visits. Criticism upon criticism–I swear, I just never have that hard of a time figuring out why people become agoraphobic. Does this mean that I don’t think that criticism is helpful? Of course not! I need a lot of it–obviously. But something about not crushing a bruised reed rings gently in my heart and mind–and I really do pray that God will remind me that too much criticism (especially for someone who is TOO SELF-CRITICAL!) might not be the most helpful thing.

Whew. OK. There it is. Too whiny? (Hah! Like you could confront/criticize me now, eh? ) You can! You can!

I really hope this just gives you a tiny picture into the past few months of my life–and my days this week–and the last few hours of even this day.

'Course, what do I have to COMPLAIN about? Absolutely nothing. My life is luxurious and easy and most importantly, NOT MY OWN. What are these inconveniences? Nothing. What if father and mother reject me? God will never reject me. I have a Redeemer and that is what I need and could never merit. Plus, He even calls me His friend–His daughter. Well! That is BEYOND all that I could ever DREAM. Everything else is just icing on the cake. And I have lots of icing and lots of cake ... a warm home, clean water, abundant food, a loving husband and daughter–how many millions can’t even imagine such a life?

So please hear this post in the tenor it is meant. And if it’s too whiny, let me know (maybe a private email? a gentle, private email?) so that I can tear it down.

Sending you love–

Yours,
Tara B.

Yesterday was not the day I planned to have–but there were many blessings anyway.

One of them was our reading to prepare for small group. As our pastor preaches through Galatians, our small groups are reading and discussing Tim Keller’s commentary–and it is profound. Convicting? Yes! But comforting, too. Not condemning–well, as long as I keep praying for the grace to look at the Cross and not fixate on myself. (Because whenever I get stuck focusing on my sins and immaturities and lack of faith? I despair!)

Toward the end of the reading, there was a list comparing the “two fundamentally different ways to live” – either as “sons” or “slaves” (Galatians 4:4-5, 7). One is full of fear (slave) and the other is full of faith working through love.

I related to (and cringed at! and rejoiced in!) many of the other comparisons too:

- Slaves view faith as an effort to love God and believe without doubting so he will accept you. Children view faith as a discipline of remembering and living as an accepted child of God.

- Slaves are driven, self-critical, and bound by unrealistic goals tied to obeying God and moral codes out of compulsion and a fear of rejection. Children obey out of joy in their Father and out of gratitude for the certainty of his love. ("How can I live so ungratefully to one who will never reject me?")

- Slaves hide. Slaves use gossip, blame-shifting, anger, and defensiveness as strategies to hide their inner and outer failings from themselves and other people. Children are open and transparent. Children are free from having to put up a front; they are able to appreciate people who are different and hurting.

- Slaves live lives of isolation. Slaves feel that no one understands, that no one cares. Slaves are not willing to trust (or else they swing too far in the other direction and put an intense, idolatrous trust in a person (or organization) who inevitably disappoints and lets them down. Children enjoy a growing circle of friends with whom they are neither too independent or over-dependent. Children do not wallow in self-absorbed self-pity.

Eek! And that’s just a FEW of the points from the reading. I could go on and on.

But instead, I will end with this excerpt:

"On the one hand, without a knowledge of our extreme sin and idolatry, the payment of Christ on the cross seems trivial, and the message of it does not electrify or transform.

On the other hand, without a knowledge of our complete acceptance and adoption through Christ, the message of our sin would so crush us that we would deny or repress it. But the more you know of his infallible fatherly love, the more you are able to realistically face yourself, your flaws and faults. The more you see your sin, the more precious and valuable you find his saving love and grace."

Praying that we would all know God’s infallible fatherly love this day and every day.

Yours,
Tara B.

Sophie made a fair in her room, set up a ticket booth (your tickets even get punched!), and invited us to some very fun games (with prizes!). If you’re up for a trip to Billings, please do come to her fair!

Do you ever just have a low-energy, sad-for-no-reason day? Especially on certain days of the month? Especially at certain times of the year?

I do.
Like today.

I am really praying that I will walk through my duties and pleasures this day in God-honoring ways. When I’m this tired (and sad), I am REALLY tempted to sin (sloth, escapism, gluttony).

One redemptive thing I can do right now? Go and cuddle with my daughter and my Golden Retriever. And so I shall.

Hope you’re having a high-energy, happy day!

Yours in the battle,
Tara B.

PS
Just a little update to THANK YOU for the sweet, encouraging comments. And to thank God for a daughter (and Golden!) who both love to cuddle; for all of the Toot & Puddle books (we love 'em!) and a warm home in which to read them; for the GRACE that I actually thought about dinner tonight LAST NIGHT (a true miracle!) so I actually have chicken marinating away with no effort (wow!) ...

And also for some of the clarity that God has gracious brought to me as to why I might be a little sad today ... it really does help to prayerfully lay our burdens on our Shepherd when we can identify what they are. Thanks again! – t

If you’re so inclined, I hope you will read this slowly and discuss it with your children. It is not only historically accurate, it is encouraging–especially as we continue to pray for the many changes coming soon to our government.

The First National Proclamation of Thanksgiving as given by the Continental Congress in 1777:

"FOR AS MUCH as it is the indispensable Duty of all Men to adore the superintending Providence of Almighty God; to acknowledge with Gratitude their Obligation to him for Benefits received, and to implore such farther Blessings as they stand in Need of: And it having pleased him in his abundant Mercy, not only to continue to us the innumerable Bounties of his common Providence; but also to smile upon us in the Prosecution of a just and necessary War, for the Defense and Establishment of our unalienable Rights and Liberties; particularly in that he hath been pleased, in so great a Measure, to prosper the Means used for the Support of our Troops, and to crown our Arms with most signal success:

It is therefore recommended to the legislative or executive Powers of these UNITED STATES to set apart THURSDAY, the eighteenth Day of December next, for SOLEMN THANKSGIVING and PRAISE: That at one Time and with one Voice, the good People may express the grateful Feelings of their Hearts, and consecrate themselves to the Service of their Divine Benefactor; and that, together with their sincere Acknowledgments and Offerings, they may join the penitent Confession of their manifold Sins, whereby they had forfeited every Favor; and their humble and earnest Supplication that it may please GOD through the Merits of JESUS CHRIST, mercifully to forgive and blot them out of Remembrance; That it may please him graciously to afford his Blessing on the Governments of these States respectively, and prosper the public Council of the whole:

To inspire our Commanders, both by Land and Sea, and all under them, with that Wisdom and Fortitude which may render them fit Instruments, under the Providence of Almighty GOD, to secure for these United States, the greatest of all human Blessings, INDEPENDENCE and PEACE: That it may please him, to prosper the Trade and Manufactures of the People, and the Labor of the Husbandman, that our Land may yield its Increase: To take Schools and Seminaries of Education, so necessary for cultivating the Principles of true Liberty, Virtue and Piety, under his nurturing Hand; and to prosper the Means of Religion, for the promotion and enlargement of that Kingdom, which consisteth "in Righteousness, Peace and Joy in the Holy Ghost.

And it is further recommended, That servile Labor, and such Recreation, as, though at other Times innocent, may be unbecoming the Purpose of this Appointment, be omitted on so solemn an Occasion."

"Saying Grace" by Norman Rockwell

(By the way–if you ever have a chance to see a Norman Rockwell exhibit, go! A small grouping of his original paintings came through Billings a few years ago and WOW! Did we love seeing the actual artwork in person–as compared to “flat” reproductions in magazines or on shiny-stock posterboard. Real art has so much texture and depth! It is one of the many reasons that I am so grateful for the gifts and generosity of Samara’s husband, Taylor Lynde. His willingness to step out of galleries and put small pieces on an ebay store is why even as I type this, I am surrounded by oil paintings that are so beautiful and complex, I never tire of looking at them.)

(Please note: I share this story with Sophie’s permission. If she didn’t want me to share it, I wouldn’t. But she is always happy that the things we go through might encourage another mommy and daughter too. So here we go ...)

Last Thursday, Sophia got caught in a sin. It had to do with not peeking in my office because I was still working on wrapping Christmas and birthday presents–and I didn’t want her to ruin any surprises.

But, sadly, she peeked. I knew it and she knew it. It wasn’t an accident. It was intentional. And as we talked about it–how she had not only sinned against God and against me, she had also put at risk the super-fun upcoming days of her birthday and Christmas (because how would it be any fun for her if she ALREADY KNEW what her gifts were?)–the weight of the offense (and consequences) bore down heavy on her sweet little heart.

We talked about the two paths that God puts in front of us–one, the way of obedience and righteousness that leads to blessing; and the other, the way of defiance and sin that leads to misery. Life and death. Happiness and sadness.

As she admitted how she had gone down the selfish, sinful path, she was really tempted to despair. At one point, through her tears, she actually said the words,

"Oh, Mom! I KNOW I should go down the good path and I WANT to go down that path; but it’s like I keep going down the BAD path and I don’t know why."

So, of course, I took her to Romans 7 and talked about how I know that very struggle; and so does daddy; and pastor; and the Apostle Paul; and every single Christian throughout the ages.

"For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate." Romans 7:15

“For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.” Romans 7:19

And then she actually read herself out of her very own ESV Children’s Bible (the translation, by they way, that I LOVE!) the only hope for her and for every person:

"Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!" Romans 7:24-25

Oh! How we rejoiced together that even though we are both tempted to go down the “bad path,” Jesus rescues us. He has forgiven us and He is forgiving us and He WILL forgive us.

Yes, she had a double-trouble (painful!) consequence. (Double because of the deception in addition to the defiant act.)

But then she was FORGIVEN. Fully. As far as the east is from the west. She doesn’t have to be scared or embarrassed when she thinks about her birthday or Christmas. There is nothing separating her from God or me as far as her little presents are concerned. It is finished. She is forgiven and now we get to move on with great joy.

You know, this morning as we were discussing appropriate behavior for Sunday School class (i.e., NOT answering every question but instead concentrating on encouraging and loving our friends), I told her the story of how I used to be such a loud and bossy child that when I was her age, my teachers often had to scold me. It embarrassed me so much! And I felt just terrible. But I didn’t know how to change. And I had NO idea that I could be forgiven.

Sophie said, “Oh, mom! That must’ve been just awful to not know that you could be forgiven because of Jesus!” And I said, “Yes, it surely was.”

And then I thanked God again that Sophie and I get to walk through life, not only as mother and child, but also as sisters in Christ, both resting in Christ alone by faith alone.

I’m a grateful Momma. And I hope that you also heard the gospel this week and this Sabbath day too!

Fred is calling me upstairs now because Sophie’s bath time is done and he’s going to read to us from the next Chronicles of Narnia book now. (I’ve never read, “Prince Caspian,” so I am excited!)

G'nite and God bless,
Tara B.

We very much enjoyed Sophia’s violin recital today ...



It was a nice ending to a sweet week at home. Sophie and I tackled some needlepointing together ...



(Sewing is one of the many things that I tell Soph she will “for sure” far surpass me in–I hope to get her lessons one day so that she can hopefully handle (at least!) minor sewing repairs. I really think that my inability to sew is one of my many weaknesses.)

We also wrapped presents ...



... and put up our Christmas decorations. It’s all a little early for our family, but we have a shortened holiday season due to some (fun!) travel.



The only downside of our week was that Sophia’s medical concern returned (with a vengeance) and our (not quick to escalate things) doctor is now working to get her in for more testing and hopefully to see an expert pediatric gastroenterologist that he really trusts. (The problem being that the expert only comes to Billings four times a year, so unless we can somehow get to Denver, the earliest we can get in to see him is April. So we’re working on that.)

Hope your week was a blessed one and that you are even now preparing for a wonderful Sabbath tomorrow. Sunday! The best day of the week.

Much love,
Tara B.

PS
If you’d like to see Sophia’s little recital song, we made a YouTube video:

Pastor Anyabwile has been cracking me up over at PureChurch and today was no exception.



I LOVED this song when I was a kid – well, the original version (a la cowboys). I think it was the only career advice I ever received from my parents and HEY! Look! Now I’m a lawyer living in Montana surrounded by cowboys.

Blessed Friday to you!

Yours,
Tara B.

Tim Challies has a great post on overlooking that I encourage you to read:

Overlooking an Offense

His main points are:

1. Examine Yourself

2. Examine Yourself Again: Are You Right?

3. Determine the Importance

4. Look for Patterns

5. Be Sensitive

6. Seek Counsel

And I’ll close with his closing words (on seeking counsel) to tempt you to (hopefully) click on through:

"It may be valuable to seek the counsel of other mature Christians before pursuing confrontation. You will want to ensure that this is not simply an opportunity to gossip and vent, after which you will feel better and let the matter drop. But discreetly seeking wise counsel may be a very good way of “error-checking” your assessment of the previous four steps.

If, after such an assessment of your own heart, the offender, and the offense, you still feel confrontation is necessary, you will want to pursue forgiveness and reconciliation in the way Jesus outlines in Matthew 18.

However, far more often than not, I think you will find it is wise to let the matter go. And here you will need to release your pride and outrage. You will need to be willing to let the matter well and truly drop, not telling others about it and not letting it fill your mind and outrage your heart. It is the glory of a man to overlook an offense; it is a foolish and prideful man who feels every little offense is worthy of confrontation."

If you’ve read this blog for any length of time, you know that cooking does not come easily to me. (We’ve eaten a lot of bowls of cereal for dinners over the years.)

But God is graciously growing me up and by the time I reach 40, I think that I may even have a few “easy” meals in my cooking repertoire. (Hooray!)

One of them is A Year of CrockPotting’s Brown Sugar Chicken–easily one of the easiest recipes I’ve ever made in my life (especially when you use a crockpot cooking BAG so there is literally NO clean up).

Add in Costco’s organic brown rice medley and yum yum! I feel so domestic AND I get to serve my family (and a guest too!). What a grace.

Please check it out and let me know if you ever make it. I – even I, Tara of “I never have recipe components in my shelves because I don’t cook a lot” Tara-ness – had all of the ingredients without having to shop.

Yum yum! No cereal for dinner tonight – for the first time since we’ve been home this week! (Oh, oh ... poor Fred. Glad he’s such a gracious, grateful hubby.)

Happy Thursday!

Love,
Tara B.

Hysterical post today over at CakeWrecks:

Undeserving of Congrats

Enjoy!

Many people asked where Sophia was during our time at the CCEF Conference. Well ... she was incredibly blessed to spend the five days with our dearest friends, the Lyndes.

It’s really “roughing it” to be at the Lynde home in beautiful Montana ...



No fun at all, right?



I drove over the mountains on Monday morning to pick her up–and I am chagrined to admit that initially, I had planned to scoop her up and book it back to Billings for gymnastics, violin, and co-op. Gotta scratch that stuff off of my to-do list, eh?

But Fred wisely counseled me last week to CANCEL all of our to-do’s and just spend TIME with our friends when I went to pick up Sophie. (Not just grab the kid and run? What a good idea!) In retrospect, I can’t believe that I thought of doing anything else.

I just LOVE spending time with these friends. Time flies. Laughter abounds. The conversations and the silences are both comfortable. I always learn something new. My gratitude to God for Who He is grows. It’s just so fun!

Time with the Lyndes is truly a snapshot of the C.S. Lewis quote:

Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: “What! You, too? Thought I was the only one.”

After staying up way to late talking Monday night, we all walked Eleanor Scout the two blocks to school Tuesday morning ...



Such sweet fellowship reminded me of just how hard it was when they moved away from Billings–but also, how grateful I am that we have remained friends. I am keenly aware of the truth of that old saying that some friends we have “for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.” Rare is the lifetime friendship that stays close at the conclusion of a shared project, season of life, or after a geographic move.

I’m so grateful for these dear friends who share my burdens and “redouble my joy” (to quote Bonhoeffer).

Blessed Wednesday to you!

Yours,
Tara B.

My daughter is four years old and I am almost forty–but in so many ways, we face similar situations and temptations in life. Especially regarding personality and temperament:

1. We are home bodies. We like to be at home with Fred and our Golden Retriever and each other. It takes effort to go out and engage. We are “introverts” by nature–we don’t get energy from interacting with people; we get energy from being alone or with one or two good friends (including Goldens). But people don’t think this about us because we are both choleric in temperament–we are quite comfortable “out there” in front of a group, leading away. (But of course if you think about it, talking to one person isn’t that different from talking to 1,000, right? It is the interaction with 5 or 6 that is hardest for introverts.)

2. In a group of people, we are most comfortable around the friends we know and love the most. It is easy to become “cliquish” and huddle up with our “best friends”. Why go through the inconvenience of small-talking with strangers? Why move out of “your” space in the pew and engage with the person who is talking to no one? (More or less the “high maintenance” person or the person you “just don’t get”.) Isn’t it more fun to hug your buddies and laugh comfortably with people you know you enjoy and trust? Who doesn’t like to be with people who love them?

3. Both Sophia and I are given to passionate swings of emotion. Up and down; up and down; we engage at the heights of joy and we crash to the depths of sadness–especially sadness that isn’t really tied to anything. ("Mom? I’m sad, but I don’t know why.") That’s us. We are the anti-Fred in this regard. (Steady Freddy = the perfect representation of a phlegmatic personality. You could easily and comfortably float on the arcs of his emotional oscillations; they are like gentle waves; never very high and never very low.)

I think it was that last category that sparked our recent series of conversations about temperament.

I wanted Sophie to know that it was normal ("OK") to sometimes feel sad “for no reason.” I explained that, while everyone feels sad when sad thing happen (that makes sense to her of course), some people have very passionate personalities that can sometimes feel sad “for no reason.” I normalized it for her. I told her that I understand! I told her that God created her this way and that HE understands. That, while it may not always be easy to go “up & down” in how she feels, God will give her the grace. And we will help her too. That having such a personality is not only “hard,” it also has incredible blessings too–like being able to create such beautiful music on the violin and piano, writing poetry, creating art. (Oh! And then we sat and listed out some of her favorite people who have “strong” personalities–Auntie Kali, Uncle TJ, me; and “gentle/steady” personalities–Daddy, Auntie Samara, Auntie Kerry.)

Of course, the second category described above is one that is ever before us–at church, the playground, in gymnastics class ... just life. We are constantly faced with opportunities fixate on our own comfort and surround ourselves with only our friends. After all, didn’t Jesus say that even the pagans and tax collectors love those who love them? Yes, He did. But He was not holding that tendency up as an ideal! It was in the context of His call on our lives to love even our enemies. One of the things that Sophie and I talk about and pray about before these social situations happen is how we are called to love in a way that is markedly different from the world. Motivated by the gospel–by how God in Christ loves us–we are to live out two goals: love God and love neighbor. Nowhere in His list of greatest commandments did Jesus ever say, “Think first of yourself and your own comfort and do what most easily makes you happy.”

Which leads us to the first category ... our personalities/temperaments. Oh, how often people use personality as an excuse to sin! "That’s just the way that I am!" I often paraphrase Patsy Clairmont who says, "Didn’t Jesus come to save you from that, ‘Just the way that I am!’"? He did! He did! Our lack of love and commitment to relationships is not excused away because we are quiet. Or loud. We don’t get to stay home from church events because we are “introverts.” And we don’t get to dominate every Bible study group because we are “extroverts.” Sure, we can (and should!) understand our temperaments. It is good to know our innate strengths and weaknesses–that’s wisdom! But we don’t use personality as an excuse. Faith is doing what often seems unnatural. Love may call us to speak up! And love may call us to be quiet. But either way, love calls you to die to self (and live to Christ).

So ... does that mean we never have ANY friends we simply ENJOY? Absolutely not!

I’ll post more on that topic tomorrow.

Hope you enjoyed a lovely Tuesday!

Yours,
Tara B.

Hi again, friends!

Just a quick note to let you know that I’m working furiously to write some quick summaries from the CCEF Conference and then intersperse them back over the last five days in between the applicable Live Blogs.

So ... if these topics are of interest to you at all, please jump back to last Thursday (November 13) and look for the summaries (especially if you’ve been scared off a bit by my 60,000 word count on the actual Live Blogs! I assure you that my summaries are much shorter). You may need to click on the “archive” section of my blog to read all of them.

UPDATE - You can easily find all of the CCEF Conference Live Blog transcriptions and my summaries by clicking on my new blog subcategory:CCEF Conference Live Blogs and Summaries

Hope this is helpful to you! It’s very helpful to me because this is really the way I process material. I write. And then I think. (Or at least I think I think.) Fellow INTJ’s will relate, eh?

Oh–and once I get these done, I’m heading over the mountains to go and get my lovie-bug Sophia Grace and spend time with my bestest friend, Samara, and her family. And I’m even going to leave my laptop at HOME! 48 hours without technology. VERY VERY STRANGE for me. (That’s not a good thing.)

So please bear with me if it takes a smidgen longer for me to respond to any comments or emails.

Lilikoi is cuddled right here with me and sends you her Golden Retriever lovies too!

Happy Monday to you all!

Yours gratefully,
Tara B.

Fred and I are sitting on the floor of the Philadelphia International airport (because that is the only way we could plug in our laptops), just about to board our first flight home.

Fred is pulling off all of my live blog texts from the CCEF Conference so that, hopefully, I’ll be able to re-read through them (without a live internet connection) and possibly write some reflections on our flights home.

(Ummmm ... I just love being able to work on airplanes. Not only do I hope to get these posts written, I also have a bunch of actionable emails that I just haven’t been able to get to in the last week weeks. So hooray for long flights home and Bose earphones!)

UPDATE - You can easily find all of the CCEF Conference Live Blog transcriptions and my summaries by clicking on my new blog subcategory:CCEF Conference Live Blogs and Summaries

This was such an encouraging and refreshing time and I am just so grateful that we had the opportunity to go. Probably the most edifying aspect of the entire conference for me was getting to interact with such godly, passionate, interesting, and enjoyable people.

Hi Emily, Amy, Diane, Kim, Barbara, Tosha, Pastor Dave & your deacon brother (sorry! can’t remember his name), Tim-Bob's-son, Bob himself, Lynn, Kathy’s husband, Pastor & Mrs. Wells, and I could go on and on! I am just so grateful to have spent time with you all.



To paraphrase what Fred said over lunch ... this weekend has really emphasized just how much we need to pray for friends and take steps to work to develop friendships. Again. Boy! I think this is just an ongoing discipline and act of faith and obedience for a couple of ol' introverts like Fred and me.

But real change happens in community–in the local church. And so we must be faithful to do our best to build authentic, redemptive, gospel-infused relationships.

I have to run now, but I’ll close with my last three photos from the conference.

The first is a picture of the lovely family of Winston Smith (Hi Kim, Charlotte, Sydney & Gresham!) ...



The second is of a workshop that was held at the hotel this past weekend, but was NOT a part of the CCEF Conference ...



(The title made me chuckle every time I walked past it.)

And the final one is of the fearless leader of CCEF, Dr. Tim Lane:



(No, no, I’m just kidding. That’s not Tim Lane–but doesn’t it kind of look like him?? )

Hope you are enjoying a restful and worshipful Sabbath!

Yours gratefully,
Tara B.

PS
In case any of you are curious, I typed 58,987 words Live Blogging the CCEF Conference. Twelve sessions and 165 pages of notes (when copied into Word). Fun stuff!

Well ... it was very hard to see the CCEF Conference coming to an end. But it’s not hard for me to come to the end of typing these summaries! I am just chomping at the bit to get to my darling Sophia.

Before I go, however, please enjoy just a few notes from Dr. Tim Lane’s plenary, “Godly Intoxication”:

For the most part, we’ve been working within the context of our first part of our mission statement–restoring Christ to counseling. There has been this emphasis of trying to think of how the wisdom and breadth and depth and grace and redemptive message of the Bible intersect into this world of addictions, life dominating sins. We have, hopefully, not been reductionistic. We have acknowledged and spoken to the physiological and sociological aspects. But we have acknowledged the primary place of the heart and worship: addiction is a worship disorientation.

We have sought to strike a note that brings us back to that utterly unique message that is alone found in the Christian Scriptures—the gospel; the narrative, the Real Story of a God Who loves us and intervenes to save us.

We haven’t mentioned the gospel as a quick panacea; “just believe” and you’ll ratchet up to this level of victory and you won’t struggle any more. As Winston reminded us, God is with us in our relapse. We have a Redeemer Who oftentimes uses our relapses to remind us of our ongoing dependence on Him.

Today, I am as dependent on the grace of God as when I first put my faith in Christ 30 years ago. We have not weaned ourselves at all off of his grace, power, and presence.

So to close our time together, I would like to discuss how we restore the change process to the church.

Where can the addict go for help? Where can the addict find help? Find a place where they are going to be welcomed in, encouraged, and strengthened? Go to find the strength they need to grow in grace? Where can we as sinners find assistance on this journey we call growth in grace?

Is the church evidencing the reality of the gospel in such a way that it becomes the default place in the addict’s mind to go for help? Is that the place they go?

I’m friends with a lot of addicts; family members; a lot of friends. Oftentimes, the church has been the LAST place that the addict in my family, friendships, life ... the church is the last place he or she thinks about finding help.

Please turn with me to Ephesians 5. Our goal is to restore the change process to the church; not to the exclusion of other resources available to us–gifted professional counselors, medical care when needed. But where is the fundamental, primary community? The Church.

Ephesians 5:18-21

"And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit, addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ."

Look at the broader context of this passage. The first three chapters are all about this wonderful grace that has come to us. Then Paul turns a corner in Chapter 4; where this newfound power and grace and liberty begins to be worked out–the Body of Christ.

He begins to use several metaphors for understanding the Christian life within the context of the Christian life.

- New things replacing old things
- Truth and love replacing falsehood and bitterness
- Obedience replacing disobedience
- Light replacing darkness
- Wisdom replacing folly
- Sobriety replacing drunkenness

He is using this metaphor of drunkenness and sobriety–another way to look at what it looks like to live the Christian life.

Romans 1:25 ... something in creation morphs and becomes the “creator” in our life; we become intoxicated by something in creation (chemical, success, a relationship). We come under their influence and become intoxicated by them and it leads to a life of recklessness, darkness, drunkenness, folly.

That’s the dynamic and we are commanded to “not be drunk with wine.” Not to become intoxicated by anything in creation; but to become intoxicated by–to come under the influence of–the Spirit. To “let the Spirit fill us.” Passive. Humble ourselves and cry out for mercy. Continue to be filled with the Spirit; not once for all; present tense; ongoing; past experience that is to continue from past into the present and future. Continually be under the influence of the Spirit.

As you are continually under the influence of the Spirit, you become “wide awake.” Like U2’s song, “I’m Wide Awake!” I’m not drunken in darkness; I am living with eyes wide open.

“Don’t be drunk with wine which leads to reckless living; but continually let the Spirit fill you.”

This is what will encourage that kind of filling; he puts it within the Body of Christ. Look at the evidences of the Spirit’s work; and the way that he describes the life and pattern of what it looks like to be a part of the Body of Christ.

These four things ought to be marks of our individual local churches where we worship and grow. Four participle phrases that grow out of this command in vv 18-21:

1. Speaking (v19): Paul is calling for a speaking that goes beyond a superficial speaking. Bonhoeffer, “Life Together.” "Disillusionment and disappointment with my brother is a salutary moment ... the gospel has this wonderful opportunity to express itself in ways that far exceed the ways that the gospel expresses itself when things are going well."

How are we doing with regards to one another when disappointments come? Salutary moments? The gospel can shine? Winston reminded us that God is present with us in the relapse. How can we, as the Body of Christ, be with one another in the relapse? In that moment of discouragement, disillusionment?

2. Singing (v19): We are to have a vertical orientation as we assist one another to worship. How do we get reoriented vertically? Our tendency is to get disoriented; but worship reorients us. Worship is a vital component of what it means to grow in grace. Are we helping people to understand worship as a lifestyle? We don’t behave ourselves into sin; we worship into sin.

3. Giving thanks (v20): That means giving thanks for blessings and when tempted and it is difficult to obey. Blessing and prosperity tempt us to think that we don’t need God. We are like Israelites ... the temptation you will face when you enter the land is to think that we rightfully deserve this because we are a great and moral nation. God says, “No. It is because I am a covenant-making and covenant-keeping God Who gives it to you.”

Philippians 4:11-12 calls us to “Learn contentment ...” No matter what the blessing, difficulty, joy; no matter what the experience or circumstance. I’m not duped. I don’t think that the blessing is my life; I don’t think that the curse is my life. Giving thanks that God is conforming us into the image of Jesus (Philippians 1:6).

4. Submitting (v21): Paul actually brings us back to Ephesians 4:2. We are submitting to one another. One of the great marks of a vibrant church is this quality of submitting to one another. Ask yourself:

-Are we teachable?
- Are we listening?
- Are we willing to heed other people’s counsel?
- Are we willing not only to speak, but to listen and submit?
- Do we allow people to challenge and correct us?

You will find no greater evidence of the Spirit’s work than humility and submitting to one another.

“Father, we want to be individuals who reflect your transforming grace; but we are praying now that we would be part of communities of grace that speak, sing, give thanks, and submit. That those would be characteristic marks of the churches in which we worship ... that our churches would be an outpost of Your grace. Would you do that for Jesus' sake. Amen.”

The worship on this wonderful Sabbath morning was great. Please click through to the Live Blog to see the words of the hymns (and a few links to Getty videos that I was able to find too–wow! that is a great fiddler!).

But the highlight was, of course, the “Sunday School” lesson taught by Dr. David Powlison and the “sermon” given by Dr. Tim Lane. (I put those words in quotes to be clear that, of course, a session at a parachurch conference–as wonderful as it is–is not the same thing as a local church service.)

Here are just a few of my notes from Dr. Powlison’s teaching:

I’m going to work this morning off of a wonderful passage of Scripture; 1 Cor 10:13-14. “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful and He will not let you be tempted beyond your ability; but with the temptation, he also will provide the way of escape that you may be able to endure it. Therefore, my beloved, flee idolatry.”

Over the last few days, we’ve unpacked the first few clauses.

- The nature of the problem, what’s at stake; the perfect storm that overtakes us when we are seduced.

- We are all in this together. We may be very different; some addictions are soft; some hard-core. But they all have a fundamental commonality.

- God is faithful; He invades this perfect storm; He is faithful, merciful, a very present help.

Where I want to go this morning is that there is also this promise that right in the temptation, when on our own we feel beyond our ability, but with the temptation He will also provide a way of escape that you may be able to endure.

Endure does not mean just gut it out; it means to continue to go forward.Therefore, my beloved, lest we should think that we’ve been accused; rather, we’ve been LOVED ... flee from idolatry.

What is the way of escape? The change process–the counseling process—is very hard to capture.

(Tara note: but then he went on and outlined 12 or 13 points that are SO profound and SO helpful–I hate to truncate them in this summary; but I find that a six-page-blog-entry is simply unwieldy and unhelpful. So here are just a FEW of his thoughts ...)

It’s a funny sort of call. We are defined as sleepwalkers, drunks, blind and deaf and the call is, “Wake up! Arise! Look, see, you who are blind! Listen, you who are deaf!” "Come to! You are drunk, wake up!" “You’ve been dreaming; you’re in a nightmare; but you’re dreaming.”

It’s like Jesus saying to a man whose arm is withered, “Stretch out your hand.” There is a funny mix of God commanding the wake up and that He is the One who wakes us up.

1. You wake up to who you are. You realize that you are in a dream. You have been lying to yourself. You are a blind fool. It is crucial; the starting point ... there is always some sort of wake up call.

2. You wake up to what is going on in your world. There is a wake up call to the real drama of life. Your life is about good and evil; love and hate; true and false. That’s what is playing in the theater every single day. In principal, there is no neutral ground. No middle ground. Purpose of your life is to go from darkness TO reality. You become a child of light. You wake up to the moral drama.

3. You wake up to the fact that you need exactly Who God is; Who Jesus Christ is. You need exactly the particular kind of things that God promises to give, be, and do. The key to your lock. Not some theory, but exactly the redemption of exactly the problem that you truly face. To be delivered from being a child of darkness, I need Who God is. I need God.

4. You realize that sin is serious and it is serious before GOD. This cuts through our tendency to see it only as bad for me, for my family, messing up my relationships and life. Sure. Fine. That’s a start. But it’s not just this has ruined my reputation and family. Sure. Fine. That’s true and it can be a little bit of a motive. But the actual change comes from realizing that it is serious before the One Who searches every heart and will recompense for what we’ve done.

5. Intercept the Death Spiral. There are all of these forces in us that go “in and down”. The incurving nature of the fallen human heart. We spiral in on ourselves: sin, guilt, suffering. There is a call to wake up and own up and start talking to someone other than yourself; start listening to someone other yourself. Make it out loud. There is so much goofiness that happens only in our head. Start talking, start listening; keep talking, keep listening. It seems like the weakest thing in the world; you’re in the grip of the human condition and God says, “Start talking.” God is there. He is listening. He bends his ear to us. Talk and LISTEN. A conversation happens that reverses that death spiral. God is listening. God speaks.

6. Ask for Help. We were never meant to change alone. Being honest to people can help to clarify; tell people what’s going on; tell someone your troubles; your sorrows. Francis Bacon’s essay on friends: “Those who lack friends to open themselves to become cannibals of themselves … This communicating of a man to his friends redoubles joys and cuts griefs in half.” Friends can’t make it all better or take it all away. But God has wired us such that change is an interpersonal process. You do not change on your own. You do not change on your own. You do not change on your own. James 5 says confess your sins to one another. Lay it out there.

The pastor who nurtured me for the first 15 years of my Christian life was passionate for people to act on the Word. Jack Miller: “If you have been convicted of something this morning, go tell someone.” Get it on the table. I need help. It’s a real thing. Would you pray for me?

7. Ask for Forgiveness. You have hurt people. Every single addiction; even the mildest people-pleaser who wants an easy life; views people as objects; you’ve lied to people; you’ve used people. Ask for forgiveness. That is part of our fleeing to light. Truly ask for forgiveness–the words you use matter. Not:

"I’m sorry it bothered you so much."

“I’m sorry if I hurt you; I didn’t mean to hurt you.” ("You hypersensitive so and so.")

“I’m sorry for using pornography because you were such a witch.”

Really asking for forgiveness: Name what you did. Name what it did. Express sorrow. Ask: Please forgive me.

"I was wrong to do this. It hurt you and broke trust. I am so sorry! Please forgive me."

8. You Must Forgive. It’s a brutal world; everyone has their story; people let you down; you’ve let people down. You MUST forgive. You must seek forgiveness and you must grant forgiveness. Jesus is unrelenting. Even if they are dead, still your enemy, you MUST forgive in a vertical, attitudinal manner even if there is never a transactional forgiveness. The Lord’s Prayer says that you must forgive. Mark 11:25 “forgive.” Anything against anyone, forgive. You have to do it. Every alternative to forgiveness is evil.

9. Rethink the Problem of Pain. You have been, you are, and you will be faced with pain, hardship, trouble, disappointment, hurt. You have been and will be faced with seductions, lies, hurts. We live in a hard world. If you don’t think accurately about the problem of pain, you’ll never get it together. Man is born for trouble. All our addictions are attempts to make that not be so.

Where will you turn in the midst of trouble? If you rethink the problem of pain, it makes you rethink the solution of refuge. You take refuge from the pain of the world in your addiction; you take refuge in the Living God when you wake up. Psalm 46 “God is our refuge and strength; a very present help in trouble ...” God is our refuge stands against every alternative refuge. What is your refuge? If you take refuge in yourself, you will die. Rethink the problem of pain and where you take refuge.

10. Rethink Pleasure. People get pleasure wrong. And whenever you get pleasure wrong (rest, happiness), you get your work wrong; your task wrong; why you are actually here on the planet. Consider reading my CCEF Booklet: “Pleasure.” It’s on the Sabbath commandment; how God designed us for labor and rest. But we do exhaustive over-work and then destructive escapism. We have to rethink pleasure.

(Tara side note: This is the BEST ccef booklet EVER. Ever! I couldn’t recommend any other resource more that his booklet, “Pleasure.” In fact, I think I have 5 or 10 (or maybe more!) copies in my office right now. If any of you would like a copy, please just leave a comment on this post and drop me an email with your mailing address and I’ll send out as many copies as I can. It is SO gospel-proclaiming AND convicting AND helpful. Absolutely my FAVORITE ccef booklet—and I’m not even sure they are producing it any more which is a TRAGEDY if it’s true. Oh–and don’t be afraid about SPAM. I would never give your contact information to ANYONE.)

11. Get Right Expectations of the Struggle / of the Change Process. Even if they stop sinning with “the biggie” sin, people will fail. There will be ongoing failure. He finally stops drinking, but there is always something us – temper, not attentive to needs of others. There is always something. The change process is an increment of growth, and failure. Growth, and failure. Failure I didn’t even know I’d have. Growth growth growth. And then failure. We are always aware of the darkness and fight. And we celebrate evidences of growth like these:

- A decrease in how often you lose your temper. You still lose it. But you’ve gone from 60 to 5. Is that good or bad? It’s really good! But you really were awful. That’s really bad. But there’s a decrease in frequency, hooray!

A decrease in the intensity. No more foul words; but still an edge of hostility. Really good! And really bad.

A decrease in the duration. Before it was anger to anger; anger to anger. Now after 20 minutes, you start to regain your bearings. Is that really good? Really good! And ... really bad.

An increase in your awareness that the promises of God truly are for the needy. For your name’s sake, O Lord, pardon my iniquity for it is very great. When you remember my sin, remember your mercy.

This was a profound and wonderful workshop. I heartily encourage you to read the Live Blog transcript and anything you can get your hands on by Pastor Jeffrey S. Black.

Having the opportunity to learn from people like this? People with such keen minds, filled with the Spirit, lovers of God’s Word, lovers of Christ, churchmen with so much life experience living the gospel out in real life? And then to have these men be filled with such humility?

Well. Let me just say that I am a Pastor Jeffrey S. Black fan and I am looking forward to reviewing all of my CCEF Journal of Biblical Counseling articles by him in the coming weeks and months.

Hope you enjoy the notes. But please note again that they don’t even come close to capturing 1/100th of the depth of his teaching and his heart.

We’ve been talking about addictions and counseling for two days–but I’m going to talk to you about it through the lens of being a pastor.

I am a pastor of a large church. 8,000 adults. Addictions ministry meets weekly with 150 people. We have a trailer at the church manned every day and night; people with addictions issues come looking for help, discipleship, etc. We place people into in-patient residential care locations almost every week.

As an aside ... I don’t know how you think about this stuff; some find it controversial; I really don’t. Seems very practical to me. If you work with addicts, these are people who can be very unsafe–to themselves, people around them. Sometimes it is a way to keep them alive. In the last year, we’ve had six people die from overdoses.

I did a funeral of a guy, heartbreaking to me, I married him and his wife four years ago. Then I got a call from his wife that he had been murdered on Christmas Eve trying to make a drug buy.

Different kind of ministry, eh? Not that many have such imminent life and death implications.

I also teach and I’m a psychologist. I’ve done these things; but in my heart of hearts, I am a pastor. And I would like to make the argument today that for as many kinds of rehabs and 12-step programs and Christian 12-step programs ... all of those are excellent in some ways. But it is my opinion that the church is the place where addicts need to be ministered to. In fact, I would argue that the church is THE place.

I am going to argue that b/c there are a lot of things you can help people with and they live in isolation; but you can’t help an addict without them becoming a part of a community.

I don’t have an infomercial for people; I don’t have bullet points. Ministries don’t operate that way. But a couple of key ingredients define effective ministry in working with this particular ministry.

1. Effective ministry to addicts depends on redefining the concept of “addiction”.

Addicts and non-addicts have distorted views on addiction. I don’t think it’s possible for the church to minister to people with addictions until everyone gets on the same page as to what addiction is and is not. Both addicts and non-addicts have to be de-mythologized. They have myths about addiction that aren’t biblical and often aren’t even factual.

2. Effective ministry depends on first understanding the centrality and necessity of a redeeming community and then facilitating the creation of that community.

The people doing the ministry and the people coming for the ministry understand that participating in this community is essential/necessary. It’s my Hillary quote – takes a village to raise a child. Don’t know if that’s true; but I know that addicts who don’t participate in community relapse. Addicts who don’t become a part of Body Life have little chance of transformation.

3. Effective ministry to addicts depends on recognizing the profound systemic effects of chronic addictive behavior and relapse and creating mechanisms to heal and restore, replace and repair these effects.

James talks about the relationship between faith and works. We don’t want to get too messy; get involved ... but we’ll talk to them for 50 minutes. But chronically addicted people mess up. They are not just broken on the inside, their whole world is broken. In a very practical sense, their addiction creates problems; those create problems; and the problems drive them to their addiction; affects all of their life and families and relationships. If you counsel and addict, you’re going to counsel their family. If you’re not prepared to go there as a church, you are not going to have an effective ministry. Counseling piece; mercy piece; helps piece ... “wrap-around services.”

4. Effective ministry to addicts depends on recognizing the power of an addiction and making the right intervention at the right time.

The short word for this is timeliness. The crises that addicts have are always at just the wrong time. (laughter) 2AM. State of crises. You don’t say, “Call me in the morning.” You have to be willing to be timely with them. Window opens in the life of the addict and you climb in before it shuts. That’s what happens when a person has a thing in their life that constantly creates a crises-laden environment.

In a healing community, everybody recognizes what bondage is like; everyone is willing to come into the light; what they come into the light to receive is grace. In a community where we all understand who we are, grace abounds. A whole bunch of publicans beating their chests, “God have mercy.”

I want to talk about this other thing because it’s very important. I’m happy to live in my brain; I can drive for hours with only my thoughts. I’m not saying this because I’m a big advocate of community. I’m a community of one (laughter).

But God intends for the Body of Christ to be the Body of Christ. God intended that some things only occur in the context of community. I think addictions certainly falls into that category.

Biblical community is one of authenticity. People who see their need for grace are people who are open.

A second feature is accountability. In a normal relationship, if you are close to someone, if they tell you something, you presume that they want you to ask them about it. But if I share with my wife that I’m struggling with something, she’ll assume I want accountability/help. I can’t just get away from the accountability by saying, “Nah. I was just sharing.” They care enough to hold you accountable for what your heart is doing.

We are to have purposeful facilitation of interdependence: God intends for us to live day to day in interdependence with other people. That’s the norm in a biblical community, not the exception.

Lastly, I think churches that are generous with their resources–I don’t mean generous in the budget, but people in the community–they are the most effective in helping addicts because even if a person pursues sobriety and even as they are being transformed, there are all sorts of parts of their lives that have to be glued back together. Helping them to reconstruct some of the brokenness of their life."

Mike Emlet started off by showing us one of his prized possessions: a mug. No ordinary mug. It’s a pessimist’s mug; bought for him by a formal intern at www.despair.com. (I kid you not.)



What makes this a pessimist’s mug? Half way up, there is a line and the words, "This mug is now half empty."

And with that, Dr. Emlet began his plenary session ...

Can you resonate with despair.com? Pessimism? I now know Mark Driscoll does. Do you? Or are you a cup half full kind of person?

More specifically, when it comes to the battle with life-altering sins, what should have? How much change can we really expect in this life?

We want to believe in a cup half full, or at least a “quarter full” mentality. But so often our experience is otherwise.

- A craving leads to weeks of drunkenness.

- Defensiveness springs to life immediately when someone criticizes us.

- One last indulgence in pornography nails shut the coffin on your marriage.

What sins of the flesh are you dealing with now, perhaps years after coming to Christ? Do you ever wonder, “Does anything ever change in my life?” I do.

No matter how you understand what Paul says in Romans 7:18-19, there is an acute tension. “What I do is not the good I want to do; the evil? This I keep on doing.”

On the other hand, there are moments in the Christian life when His power and glory are so real, we can almost taste it. And we think, “Maybe this sin is gone! Victory is ours!” And then we fail.

So were we foolish to hope? Wrong to hope?

With any besetting sin, whether we are in it ourselves or helping someone who is caught in it, our tendency is to go between heights and depths. But the Bible offers something different from extreme pessimism or breezy optimism. The Bible shows us, when it comes to progressive change, we are to have a hopeful and hope-filled realism because:

- Our Hero, Christ, has arrived!

- The enemies (sin and death) have been defeated.

- Our thirst is quenched by Jesus, Who is Himself living water.

- We know where we are headed; and God gives us a taste of that now in the Spirit.

But we don’t feel the full benefits of that restoration now.

So we look at our lives and the world around us and we cry out, “This is not the way it’s supposed to be!” We can’t help but live in that tension because of the way that God brings that redemption to us in the Lord Jesus Christ.

There is both a present and future manifestation of God’s redemption in our lives. This has profound implications for how we live. “The already and not yet.”

Hopeful realism celebrates the coming of God’s redemption that is to come.

Hope is an experience in the present that is rooted in the surety of the future.

Hope is rooted in the fact that God the Father has acted decisively to renew creation and that He has given us His Spirit.

Watch out for subtle signs that your hope may not be in keeping with the reality of God’s Kingdom:

-A quiet, creeping cynicism that begins to scale back what God can and will do in your life and the lives of those you love

- A quiet, cup half-empty mentality that quenches joy and your prayer life

The Scripture gives us lenses of hope. We gain perspective. Hope is stirred. Today’s failure or success is not the end of the story. We need to become caught up in a story that is bigger than ourselves.

Scripture calls us to live out hope-filled realism.

Christ has died. Christ is risen. Christ will come again. We live in the tension between Christ’s resurrection and return. We live in the groan and we press forward to taste that certain future.”

(I am writing these little summaries in between the live blog entries to let you know how Fred and I experienced the conference–and to give you just a flavor of the live blogs in case you were scared off by the 60,000 word count. )

We were SO tired Saturday morning–that east coast time zone thing is a killer. Plus, I was happily exhausted after spending time with three of the PeaceGals moderators (and Sarah Joy’s family!) at a real-Philly-cheese-steak-yummy restaurant:



(Hi Sarah Joy, Ruth, and Emily!)

But of course Fred and I were so excited for the day’s sessions that we jumped right out of bed and headed to devotionals and worship. We could wait to hear Winston Smith’s plenary–and it did not disappoint.

Please do consider reading the entire Live Blog transcript–I really think you’ll be edified and encouraged by it! Here are just a few notes from what he shared ...

We’re going to be talking this morning about groaning in slavery. We’re going to hang out in the Old Testament and let the slavery and groanings of addicts ring out so that we can truly appreciate what happens when Jesus appears. And so that we can see how the hope and grace of God is there throughout the Old Testament as well. This helps us to celebrate the hope and grace that Jesus brings to us when He comes.

One of the most important ways that the Old Testament gives us hope and helps us to see grace is that it puts us all on common ground right from the beginning. We are all on common ground with the addict.

(Reads from Genesis 3.)

We are tempted. We begin to listen to the lie ("Did God really say?"). There is enticement. We begin to hold before our eyes the thing that we delight in. Our heart skips a bit. It is forbidden. It must be done in secret. Our desire builds. We indulge. We experience misery and sin; immediately there is covering, hiding, blame-shifting. And we are tempted. Again.

But there is a surprising display of hope and grace right there in Genesis 3. Yes, it is loaded down with painful consequences. But even in the consequences there is grace and hope.

God could’ve ended the Bible at Genesis 3. But even in the middle of Genesis 3 (15), there is the promise that God will bring the Deliverer to crush the head of Satan. Anything that you ever put the weight of your hope on will crumble beneath you and disappoint you–this is God’s grace! So we keep looking for the Savior.

Not to say that there are not different forms of slavery ... there are. Prescription pain meds and sneaking to fridge? Different. Yes, common ground. But different flavor. Impact is different. Recovery looks slightly different, but it is the same path.

(Read from Eugene Peterson’s paraphrase of Psalm 88.)

We all live in a world where we are sinned against and we suffer. We live in a fallen world and we are afflicted. And yes, we also suffer because we make horrible choices. But we ALL make horrible choices and we have to live in the consequences of that. That doesn’t make the addict different from us. We don’t have to do religious calculus and try to calculate how much is your fault, fallen world, etc. At some point, we are all the same as the addict.

So, hear the hope in Psalm 88. There is real hope in groaning itself. Scripture is giving us a license to speak out when we are suffering. Life in a fallen world really does hurt. You get to say, “Ouch!” I don’t understand this, God. I don’t know why I do what I do. This really hurts. I don’t like it.

The psalmist doesn’t have a clue what God is up to – but he IS directing his words to God. The conversation with God implies some level of faith. That’s a good thing.

Another reason for hope? God himself wrote Psalm 88. Yes, human author; but carried along by the Spirit of Christ. God gets it. He knows you. He knows you in your darkest moment when you think only darkness is your friend. He is with you in the groaning; groaning on your behalf.

When you think you are alone and you have no other friend? God is with you.

(I am writing these little summaries in between the live blog entries to let you know how Fred and I experienced the conference–and to give you just a flavor of the live blogs in case you were scared off by the 60,000 word count. )

The last session Friday night was a roundtable discussion by CCEF Faculty of the case study about “Robbie” who has been "laid low and his family destroyed by two addictions: gambling and prescription pain meds.”

There were so many great nuggets in this session that I had a very hard time picking out just a few for you to review. Please do consider reading the entire Live Blog transcript—I really think that you will enjoy it.

In the interim, here are just a few snippets:

DAVID POWLISON: As I think about this man, the image that comes to my mind is that he is wandering around in a very dark wood at night and he has two predators after him. But rather than responding wisely, he is whistling in the dark, just hoping they will go away … I would take Robbie to Psalm 25 because it puts feet on both predators and it points Robbie to the Savior … This will not be an easy sell. It is not one of those, “here’s a Bible verse, hope this helps” kind of things. No. We need to persevere with Robbie to help him to see that God is intervening in his life. God is helping to lead Robbie from darkness into light.

JULIE SMITH-LOWE: I would try to figure out, “What would hope look like for Robbie?” Here is a man who has tried so many things and failed at them. What gives him hope right now? Why is he coming into counseling? How do I talk about hope? How do I talk about the gospel in a way that gives him fresh hope?

MIKE EMLET: I was struck by this sense of impending death. 2 Corinthians 1:8 … “This happened so that we would not rely on ourselves but on God Who raises the dead.” Robbie really needs a resurrection. He’s thinking too small about what really needs to happen. When he’s at the end himself, he can see and taste the resurrection power of Christ Himself. This is not automatic. It takes time.

WINSTON SMITH: He’s talked to everybody. So I’d like to ask some responsibility-generating questions. “So, Robbie, how is it that I can help you? Why me? What do you hope to hear from me that is different?” If I see him at the CCEF, more than likely I’ll hear something like, “People say that God is the answer. So I’m talking to you.” One of the things that struck me is that the way he talks about God is the way you think about a drug/medication. “I call out to Jesus and nothing happens.” So I’d draw him out to understand what he means. I’d ask about what Scripture he reads; Serenity Prayer; the “Our Father.” Has a “magic formula feel” to it. “But one thing you need to realize, Robbie, is that God is a Person. He chooses to respond in the way He chooses to respond. He’s not a thing, a pill, an experience. He’s a real Person. So let’s pray for something different. Let’s not pray for an experience. Let’s pray for wisdom and discernment.”

TIM LANE: One thing I have found helpful is finding out when someone’s life-dominating sins started. Age 11 or 25? That’s when their maturation stopped. If someone started using at 14 and they are now 40, you’re probably still dealing with a 14 year old. So I want to know when Robbie started this addictive lifestyle. Another thing that strikes me: This is a guy who vacillates between despair/failure and renewed sense to do moral reform. Whole motivation is driven by guilt. Guilt is a terrible long-term motivator for permanent change. Works short-term, but not long-term. The message of the gospel is what brings permanent change. I want to help Robbie to become shocked by grace.

WINSTON SMITH: How does the church approach someone like this?

(Oooooh! Can you believe I’m stopping there? Don’t you want to read on in the Live Blog transcript?

Hope these notes are helpful to you.

Blessings and joy,
Tara B.)

Dr. Monroe has graciously provided his powerpoints for this workshop on his blog: (http://wisecounsel.wordpress.com/) and I don’t think I have anything much to add to them from this workshop.

If the topic interests you, I encourage you to consider reading at least the end of the Live Blog transcription because I did capture the Q&A he did at the very end of his workshop.

(I am writing these little summaries in between the live blog entries to let you know how Fred and I experienced the conference–and to give you just a flavor of the live blogs in case you were scared off by the 60,000 word count. )

Back to last Friday afternoon (November 14) ...

Fred and I were tremendously blessed to get to meet Dr. Emlet at the devotional breakfast and I have to say that I was looking very forward to his workshop.

It was more “technical” than the other workshops and the plenary addresses—but I just loved it. Made me miss my cognitive psych classes (nature/nurture; brain functioning/chemical vs. behavioral/training, etc etc.)

If this topic is of interest to you, please read the entire Live Blog transcript. But here are just a few highlights:

Dr. Emlet started with that old video of, “This is your brain on drugs” (showing an egg frying). Then he asked, “Is that true from a scientific perspective? If we use drugs, do we fry the brain? Do changes happen over time? Do these changes lead to a true chemical dependence? Does the brain change in some way as to make it harder for someone struggling with addiction to say, “No”?

Leading scholars on addiction say that drug addiction is a brain disease; “the brain of someone addicted to drugs is qualitatively different from a normal brain in fundamental ways.”

As Christians, we are tempted to go into two extremes:

1. Allow the medical establishment to totally overshadow; a disease; Scriptures are functionally irrelevant.

2. Bury our head in the sand about the research being done about addictions and conclude that addictions are only spiritual problems and all that is needed is repentance and faith. (“Just say no in the power of the Spirit!”)

But both extremes are to be avoided because we are both body and spirit. We are to take both aspects of our personhood into account.

Addiction is a heart issue–a disorder of worship.
And it is a brain-based issue.

Not all patterns of sin affect the brain in the same way.
How many of you have gotten a high from gossiping? (None? Good.)

So some sin patterns have bodily components and some don’t.

You’ll hear plenty in this conference about the heart-based aspects of addiction; and how the playing field is level—“the addict in us all.” Yes. This is true. And if we don’t see the roots of addiction as misplaced worship, we will effectively truncate the ministry of the Holy Spirit in a person’s life. But we must also address the physical, brain-based areas of addiction too.

The goals for this workshop are to:

1. Gain exposure to the biological and brain-based research in addictions.

2. Understand how drugs hijack the normal brain pathways that underlie the experience of desire, pleasure, and reward.

3. Discuss the implications of this knowledge for ministry to those struggling with addictions, including the role of detoxification and medical maintenance therapies.

(Tara here again ... )

Doesn’t that make you want to read the entire Live Blog entry? I hope you will! And I look so forward to learning from Dr. Emlet in the coming years as he continues to minister through CCEF.

I’ll leave Dr. Emlet with the last word …

The experience of an addict suggests a bodily component and it can be hard to sort out nature versus nurture. As Christians, we should consider genetic predispositions (especially remembering that, “an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.”) and we should consider the physiological changes that take place with drug use.

That doesn’t mean that there is no hope. Of course there is hope!

I do not agree with the medical model that drug addiction is an incurable illness. Drugs change the brain, yes. But so does abstinence. So does embracing gospel-centered counsel.

We do need to take these bodily issues into account, though. For example, if you have a first degree relative who has struggled with alcohol, it may be wise for you to consider abstaining yourself. Even if you feel like scripturally you have liberty to engage in this, it may be wise to refrain.

Christ-centered help has that goal to turn people to God away from their idolatrous addiction. We don’t minister to disembodied souls. Some people can stop their drug use and there is not as much push-back from the body. True. But many people do experience the bodily effect of their addiction.

Let’s not neglect the role of the body in dealing with these desires. Let us not overly spiritualizing and not over-medicalizing this complex problem.

(I am writing these little summaries in between the live blog entries to let you know how Fred and I experienced the conference–and to give you just a flavor of the live blogs in case you were scared off by the 60,000 word count. )

Here are just a few of my notes from Pastor Mark Driscoll’s plenary:

In dealing with addiction, people are oftentimes aware of their own sin. It shows up in their life, health, relationships. They have some cognizant awareness of how it is affecting their family members: tears, begging, desiring them to change.

But oftentimes there is an inability (with sin in general and addictions in particular) to see how their sin connects them or disconnects them to God. The psalmist says, “Against You and You only, God, have I sinned.”

I’ve been repeatedly reading 1 Corinthians as I have studied on this topic of addiction.

(Then Pastor Driscoll went on to give an overview of 1 Corinthians.)

Addiction is not isolated. You won’t meet an addict who only struggles in one area of life.

Addicts are not isolated. If you open the door to help broken, disconnected, addicted people, you will have more than one.

(Tara note here: In one WEEK, Pastor Driscoll’s church saw 2,000 people come to saving faith! Many of them were addicts.)

Paul says, “I give thanks to my God always for you.”

Paul says that he had HOPE for these people. Why? Because of Jesus Christ. Paul has hope for them because he rightly understands that he is as ill-deserving of the grace of God as they are.

If we open the doors of our churches to hurting people, they will come with their friends; they will be proud, caught up in sin, immature ... and we will see that we are like them.

Our hope for them is that God will sustain them; God is good to the end with every single one of His children.

God anchors his hope in God; in the Cross of Jesus Christ.

Jesus' death is our substitutionary atonement: The Second Member of the Trinity came, lived life, died–not for HIS sin, but FOR our sin. We can’t help anyone until we explain to them the Cross. Remind them of the Cross because we are prone to forget it and move on.

Jesus is our Christus Victor: People addicted to elicit sexual sin, drugs and alcohol ... they are opening themselves up to the demonic. Satan and demons really are at war with us. It’s not just the addict and Jesus; Satan and demons must be factored in. When Jesus died in our place on the Cross, He disarmed our enemies. He took away their rightful claim to us. If you understand how Satan works, you won’t be outwitted by his schemes.

Jesus is our Redemption: Jesus is our great Liberator! Most of our slaveries are self-imposed. Addiction is willful slavery. We give ourselves to something or someone; something “masters us”. If something or someone other than Jesus MASTERS us, then we are enslaved. But through Jesus? Satan is defeated. False gods are off the throne. A way of new life is made, miraculously, through Jesus.

Jesus is not only our propitiation, He is our expiation: When we are sinned against, the biblical counsel includes words of our being unclean/defiled when we are sinned against. The first thing rape victims do is take a shower. There’s my gospel hook. “So you want to be clean?” Water doesn’t go to the soul. Jesus talks about Living Water. A woman who has been raped needs a total cleansing because her body has been defiled. It is the expiating, the cleaning work of Jesus that is needed.

(I am writing these little summaries in between the live blog entries to let you know how Fred and I experienced the conference–and to give you just a flavor of the live blogs in case you were scared off by the 60,000 word count. )

Back to Friday morning (November 14) …

It was so great to gather as a group of almost 2,000! The worship was fantastic—I urge you to get to know the Getty’s if you don’t already know them.



And the genuine love and respect shown by the CCEF staff members as they introduced one another added a degree of credibility to everything they did and said (especially because they have such long relationships).

The Executive Director of CCEF, Tim Lane, set the tone for the entire conference when he said:

"Hi, my name is Tim Lane, and I’m an addict."

Many of us in the crowd did respond, “Hi, Tim.” (We know our 12-step programs, eh?!)

And then Dr. Lane went on to say …

I am addicted to many things–self-love, personal comfort. I am an addict. And this conference is for all of us. We all struggle with sin—and sin can become dominating.

The issue of addictions touches us all. We all have a deep sense of our neediness; a deep desire to grow in grace; to fight against sin and the work of the evil one. We come into this room with hopefully a deep sense of our humility, gratitude, and confidence in the work of God and the Spirit.

Ed Welch’s plenary address continued this theme and I encourage you to get the audio CD and listen yourself—or at least read the entire Live Blog entry. (It’s not that long! )

Here are just a few highlights …

We gather as kindred spirits who share a similar mission–we are persuaded that Scripture is alive and deep and we desire to bring it to the problems in living. We want to bring Christ and Him crucified to the problems of living. As we do that, we hope to encourage the Church with loving encouragement and wise counsel.

(After describing a disturbing case study from his early years as a counselor …)

In the moment we begin to see the addict as “abnormal,” Scripture seems to drop below a whisper; it seems to go silent. And often we respond by putting addicts, “over there,” in one category or sub-class. We buy into the AMA diagnosis of addiction being a “medical disease.” We send people to AA—and they furiously underline and memorize passages in the AA Big Book because it just seems to relevant to their lives! But their Bibles remain pristine because it seems to be for “normal people” and they are not feeling very normal.

So there I was with my biblical worldview and then I met Mr. Gray (the case study) …

Wouldn’t it be nice if we didn’t have people to confuse the clarity of our own minds?

(As a Tara-aside here … I think that was absolutely one of THE BEST LINES of the entire weekend. “Wouldn’t it be nice if we didn’t have people to confuse the clarity of our own minds?” So true! So true. But back to Dr. Welch …)

So you go back to Mr. Gray and you walk along with him. He says, “I wake up in the morning. I want to do the right thing and I don’t do it.” And you remember your argument with your wife that morning. You wanted to do the right thing; but before you stopped yourself, the wrong thing came out.

Before we can even say, “Romans 7!” Scripture swings us around “AND YOU.”

Romans 1 & 2, Paul does the same thing ... “AND YOU.”

The sufficiency of Scripture is at stake with the “and you.”

If somehow addiction is abnormal, Scripture is silent. But the “and you” means that Scripture DELUGES us as we walk with Mr. Gray …

“I have good news for you, Mr. Gray! We are sinners and we are committed to our sin.” In response, Mr. Gray goes blank. He seems unresponsive. Scripture includes both of you, but it seems to fall on deaf ears. He is not necessarily hard-hearted; Mr. Gray simply doesn’t understand.

But how does Scripture speak to someone who feels abnormal? How can he be brought in?

Isaiah 44. Mr Gray? What’s in your hand? Bottle of alcohol? Aqua Velva? No. It is a LIE. That’s what Isaiah says to us. “It is a LIE.”

Scripture begins to whisper to us. “I guess you’re right. It IS a lie.”

I’ve made commitments to this lie. I’ve said to this lie, “I am yours and you are mine.” This object has made promises to me. “Betroth yourself to me and you will find satisfaction; you will receive the things that you want; the things you truly desire.”

But it hasn’t given me the desires of my heart.

The lie says, “I will never leave you or forsake you. Just commit yourself to this.” Seems true! But the fine print is that it is committed to your death.

Scripture begins to speak to Mr. Gray.

God is your creator. Your creator, Mr. Gray. He is yours and you are His. You belong to Him.

But, you have looked to another place for salvation, refuge. You have turned away from your creator. He is doing a “Gotcha!” He is pursuing you as a wandering child. He is coming after you; pulling you into his arms and breathing life into you.

He is showering you with words that describe where you came from; how you got here; where you are going. It describes a new universe for you.

God does not forgive us because we deserve it. He forgives because this is the way that He brings glory to Himself.

God doesn’t forgive you because you are forgivable but because God is the Forgiver.

God calls you to speak out in your pain to Him. And HE HEARS. God will shower you with comfort. Have you ever known comfort, Mr. Gray? Let me tell you, it is coming! It will be another time where you have a Father who takes you into His arms and says, “Gotcha!”

That’s speaking to Mr. Gray.

(And to Tara too.)

How I thank God for the ministry of the Christian Counseling and Educational Foundation.

Hope these notes are helpful to you!

Yours,
Tara B.

(I am writing these little summaries in between the live blog entries to let you know how Fred and I experienced the conference–and to give you just a flavor of the live blogs in case you were scared off by the 60,000 word count. )

Fred came during the lunch break and stole me away for some (delicious!) Chik-Fil-A and nice conversation too. It’s so strange to be out together without Sophia—but good too, of course. We are both convicted that some of the struggles in our marriage in the last year or so have been increased by our not prioritizing time “as a couple” (i.e., uninterrupted, adult conversation time).

So it was particularly fun that in one of our two registration bags for this conference, we received the new CCEF booklet, “Restoring Marital Intimacy.” Sweet! Oh, and that the other booklet was on ADOPTION. Too funny, eh? Out of 2,000 bags, “randomly” picked, our two booklets hit the two most salient issues we are currently talking about. (“The lots is cast into the lap—but the Lord knows it.”)

Back from our lunch break, Dr. Powlison began and oh oh oh! Was I a blessed woman to be under his teaching for the rest of the day. Yes, it’s great to read his journal articles and books. (If you haven’t yet purchased and devoured his, “Seeing with New Eyes,” please do so right away! It is such a profound book.) But it’s another thing to get to listen to his gentle, humble, Christ-exalting brilliance in person. What an honor.

Again, I mention just how insufficient this little summary is to capture the 10,000 words I typed in the Live Blog for this session … but if it encourages you to read the Live Blog or even better—take a CCEF course or read Dr. Powlison’s books!—then my goal has been met.

So here is a brief summary of just a few thoughts that Dr. Powlison made during his sessions:

We started by singing, “How Firm a Foundation.” And then Dr. Powlison began to teach …

Biblical counseling sings well and prays well. Biblical counseling is, by definition, the only worldview that has as same worldview as evangelism, preaching, discipling. Counseling is a practical aspect of discipling; it is theology in real life. Not theories and abstractions stuck in a systematic theology book. This is Living! We are meant to listen and hear the voice of Someone Who is promising–a Person Who invades, cares, touches, mixes it in. The immediacy of an Unseen God. We can ask God for wisdom and He gives without reproach. He knows what we need. “His grace is sufficient for you.”

Not a set of "biblical counseling principles”; but walking alongside of this Living God. Emmanuel.

You already ARE a counselor ... every time you open your mouth (and even when you’re quiet). Are you attitudes, words, and actions wise? Every time we speak, we proclaim our loyalties. Every word. Every attitude. Even small talk has a message:

Who are you? Where are you from? Do you have brothers and sisters?

This could mean–"I really don’t want to know who you are. I just want to keep this light and get out of here!"

Or it could mean–"I want to build relationship with you. Build familiarity with you."

Even small talk can be an agent of hatred or an agent of love.

(And when discussing the case study …)

Truth in the Bible is always God engaging with people; where they are; what they are going through. The truth is always an engaging truth. The Bible is redemptive words. Redemptive conversation. Not just a theology book. John Frame: “The Bible is not just the normative (this is Who God is) …” You hear the normative and the experiential and existential (God engaging people in particular circumstances with weather and false gods and enemies).

Formerly, the woman in this case study felt that God hated her. But you surprise her by:

- Giving her insights into herself that are different from her current view

- Showing her that the God of grace comes on the scene in her life (people are surprised when the real God shows up)

- Helping her find small, practical obediences

- Showing her that there is a patient process (The Christian life is a direction, not an achievement. We live in the “already but not yet.”)

- No more “quick tips” but a realism that is going somewhere.

(I am writing these little summaries in between the live blog entries to let you know how Fred and I experienced the conference–and to give you just a flavor of the live blogs in case you were scared off by the 60,000 word count. )

Back to our arrival (Wednesday, November 12) ...

I was so happy when Fred and I (finally!) made it to our hotel room. Strangely, the carpets were WET even though we were on the highest/concierge level—but it was obvious that they were wet because they had just been CLEANED. So it was strange but not too gross.

(Well, except when I asked myself the question, “WHY were they just cleaned?” I have to admit that THAT was a little icky to me.) But I just did my standard, “What if I were a missionary in AFRICA” mental game (remember the COCKROACH on my PILLOW at that one women’s retreat I did?!?) … told myself, “This is no biggie” and went to sleep.)

Waking up early was hard in one way (east coast trips are HARD on Montana-time-zone bodies) and easy in another because I was so eager to get to the training event. Plus I was excited to try my hand at live blogging.

We got to the room very early because I knew the courtesy (which I tell Sophia is just another way that we love God and love our neighbor) would require me to be there early if I was going to secure a seat toward the back, by an outlet, on the end of a row—which is what I really needed in order to transcribe the entire day. We found just the spot, Fred set me up, and we were off live blogging the CCEF Conference. Hooray!

Highlights for me were meeting Pastor Dave and his deacon-brother-Mark and laughing as hard as I’ve laughed in a long time—well, not counting our 30 minutes of hysteria reading through the CakeWrecks blog (“When professional cakes go horribly, hilariously WRONG”). Seriously? Just our few little interactions reminded me so sweetly of how fun friendship can be and what an “innocent pleasure”—to use David Powlison’s term of art—relationship can be. So hooray for Pastor Dave & Deacon Mark!

And hooray for a warm welcome from the CCEF staff and volunteers. I just can’t tell you how sweet it is to be greeted not only by professional signage, an organized registration/check-in process, and a hospitable/conducive-to-learning environment … but also by warm and gracious and welcoming PEOPLE (Hi Tosha!).



Right on time, the session began and I was simply thrilled. I really am an Ed Welch junkie. I read and re-read his books because they always draw me to Christ and Scripture as they also show me more clearly my own heart and my desperate need for the Savior.

I was, I will admit, a little nervous about transcribing him, however, because I had heard “through the grapevine” that he is, ummmm, how shall I say this?? … that he is not so good with the LINEAR progression of thoughts when teaching. (Hooray for good book editors!)

I wondered how I’d do if he wandered—but I shouldn’t have worried. I found it a snap to track exactly with him and every moment was edifying. Seriously. At no time was I tempted to “zone out”—too many rich truths; too many reminders. I just drank it all in.

Let me give you just a tiny amount of the highlights and then strongly urge you to get every single Ed Welch book you can, including his new addictions curriculum for use in small groups. Really. A few bullet points just can’t reflect the depth of this wonderful session. Even the 32 pages of notes that I took in the Live Blog miss the mark terribly.

But let me tempt you with just a few highlights …

Dr. Welch organized his teaching around three main points:

1. The inner world of addiction

2. For a fractured life, a coherent story: Trials, tests, and temptations in the wilderness

3. Gospel methods

He reminded us that the inner world of addiction is: foreign, hidden, complicated, insane, shame-filled, hopeless, immature, and God-suppressing. The fog of addiction is so messy and unclear that it is hard to find words to express it.

The words, “STOP IT” are not enough.

It is appropriate to feel overwhelmed when you begin to consider addiction.

Addiction hurts a lot of people. One person Dr. Welch knows calls himself, “The Ruiner of Lives.” Spouse, family, friends–he identifies himself as "The Ruiner."

How are you going to help a “Ruiner”? They are reluctant to say, “Will you forgive me?” because they have said that over and over again. It feels more and more hollow. It feels like they will never be any person other than a Ruiner.

Deuteronomy 28 speaks of the darkness and how darkness is a horrible curse. The experience of darkness is the experience of fear and vulnerability; the language of lies.

The experience of addiction is complicated. You will see kindness, contrition, hardness of heart, openness, lies, arrogance ("my way!") and SHAME (the person is persuaded they have no right to even be alive). You find the desire for change–they don’t want to do it again. But there is also sabotage. Mark 7. Young man aimlessly wandering around, putting the banana peel right in front of him, almost intentional about it, almost a commitment to sabotage change.

You see the complexity. How do they coexist in one heart? Hatred for the addictive object; love for the addictive object. You find death and you find life. Warring themes; kingdoms in conflict. Chaos and insanity. Hopelessness. Immaturity.

So how do you start? “Lord, have mercy!”

The Fear of the Lord is the beginning of change.

The threat of consequences will not change us.

Jesus is our Hero. All change goes through Him.

We are ushered into the throne room of God—Isaiah 6!—and we are changed.

OK. Tara here again. I’m going to stop there because seriously? This is already too long of a blog and I haven’t even gotten us out of the INTRODUCTION!

Oh, dear blog friends! Please do consider setting aside some time and reading the entire LiveBlog. It’s really that good. And please be sure that your church knows that there is now a biblical, Christ-centered, GOSPEL curriculum available for use in your church because I KNOW that your church has addicts. We are all addicts, yes. To be sure. Fear of Man and laziness; overeating, etc. But in your church, some of your brothers and sisters are struggling right now with the “harder” addictions (street drugs, prescription drugs, pornography, gambling)—and they need help. Please get to know CCEF and pray about how you can help your church to bring biblical and practical help to not only the addicts, but the people affected by the addicts too.

I’ll leave Dr. Welch with the last word …

We sin because we love it. That’s why saying, “No” is not effective. We say “no” when the thing is far away. But when it gets close? We love it.

That’s why when talking to the addict, we quickly begin saying, “we” instead of “you.”

Remember the Pharisee and the tax collector? This is a wonderful beginning every day treatment for the addictive heart.

We come to the temple and don’t feel worthy to lift our heads. “Lord have mercy toward me a sinner.”

We have a God Who delights in showering an abundance of mercy on those who ask for mercy. Those who ask for mercy receive an abundance of mercy.

I’m here in Philadelphia and I have an internet connection (at least for today’s pre-conference sessions), so I’m excited to try my hand at my first Live Blog.

I hope you’ll click in below and join in the fun! You can post questions or just say hello. (Please do! Because Fred and I would be blessed to know that even one other person is participating in this little adventure.)

Oh, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM! I love you!

See you on the LiveBlog–

Happily,
Tara B.

Please consider:

1,010,000 lifetime frequent flyer miles on this particular airline.

60 flights this year alone on this particular airline.

A diligent (?) / obsessive-compulsive (?) personality that checks and rechecks itineraries and seat assignments (including this morning at 5AM) after having ALREADY printed our BOARDING PASSES for all flights at exactly the 23 hr 59 minute mark.

Now ... does that sound like a situation where you would easily fly without incident from Billings to Minneapolis and then, when attempting to board your connecting flight (boarding passes in HAND, remember!), you would be told:

"Ummmmm. You don’t have any SEATS on this flight."

(Bad news, but things happen. Poof! No bulkhead comfy seats. Ominous sound of center-seat-back-of-plane-seats looming, but hey! This isn’t suffering, right? HOLD IT TOGETHER, TARA!)

"Ummmmm. Your ENTIRE TICKET HAS BEEN CANCELED. You have no ticket. Please step out of the line."

And so we did. And of course I was just a GEM of graciousness and patience. A real PEACEMAKING WOMAN!

I wish.

Instead I was panicked. (Which, in a moment of sanity later on, I really mulled over. Why panic? I have no responsibilities at this conference. I wasn’t letting anyone down. Sophie wasn’t with me–I don’t have a child with me to provide for/protect/take care of. So what was I so afraid of?)

I was mad. (Which even in the moment I was trying to stay on top of and not be rude because MAN! There is just never an excuse to be rude to gate agents–or to anyone for that matter. But really Whatever was going on with our tickets, it surely was NOT the fault of the two women just working their 8-hr shift, checking in another flight.)

But mostly, I was afraid. (Back to my first point above–about being panicked. Seriously–why was I so fearful?)

Two things came to mind on the flight (yes, center seats far away from each other–but at least we got here to Philly!):

1. I really did have a frightening little PTSD moment of starting to hyperventilate and really panic when I thought about being wedged between two people on the flight–all tied to a truly violating experience I had on a flight earlier this year involving a man and adjoining seats. I realized today that while I did “talk it out” with Fred and Pastor Jason at the time, I might still have a little more grieving to do with that memory because it REALLY overwhelmed me today as I walked down the ramp.

2. “The sin under my sin” was really my worship of CONTROL. That was what was most terrifying to me. Missing a flight, spending the day working in the WorldClub, even missing a portion of the conference–none of that was pleasant for me to consider, but it was understandably just a part of the risk of air travel. What was FREAKING ME OUT was my old temptation/"button" of, “I could do EVERYTHING I was supposed to do; check and double check; have my boarding passes IN MY HANDS and still show up at the airport (on my CONNECTION!) and be told that I have no seats, no TICKET, no return, etc. etc.” It was the unknown, the loss of control that was scaring me.

So of course, I repented–to God. To Fred. For my bad attitude and my pride (isn’t that underlying my heart of loving control?!).

And I made a mental note that I think I might need a little help re: my horrible flight memories.

But right now? I’m showering up and heading to bed. Dr. Ed Welch’s addictions curriculum starts tomorrow morning! I’m psyched. And grateful.

Hope you had a much less eventful day!

With love from Philly,
Tara B.

How blessed I was by our small group last night.

(Yes, yes, we didn’t cancel small group. I Clorox-wiped down everything and did my best to not share germs, but I thought it’d be OK to risk it since we weren’t “captive” in little rooms with little children sitting around little tables (like co-op would’ve been) ... so I guess I DO fall somewhere in the middle of all of your excellent comments from yesterday. Thanks for those, by the way!)

We’re continuing to study Galatians and last night we looked, in particular, at how the gospel turns us away from our idols.

I’m assuming that most of my blog friends have already studied the topic of idolatry a lot, so I won’t go into a teaching on “the basics.”

(But if you haven’t studied this topic, I encourage you to do so! Elyze Fitzpatrick’s Idols of the Heart is a good, basic introduction; as is Ken Sande’s The Peacemaker. And if you want to go deeper, anything by David Powlison or the CCEF authors will be, I’m sure, rich and challenging (and encouraging!).

Oh, and that encouraging part is important, isn’t it? Otherwise, it can be very easy to slip off into condemnation rather than conviction once we begin to see “the sin under every sin” that idolatry is. So black are our hearts! And so deep is our depravity! If we are convicted and then attempt to moralize or psychologize our way out–it will lead only to despair.)

So what do we do? How do we turn away from our idols? We run to Christ and believe Him. By faith, by grace, we stop “believing that our personal security rests on our present feelings or recent achievements in the Christian life” and instead? “We start each day with our personal security resting on the accepting love of God and the sacrifice of Christ.”

"The faith that is able to warm itself at the fire of God’s love, instead of having to steal love and self-acceptance from other sources, is actually the root of holiness."

This morning? This day? I am praying that we will all tuck up under that blanket of warmth, face-forward, heated to our very core by the knowledge of and confidence that we are not our own, but we have been bought with a Great Price (1 Cor. 6:19-20). Redeemed now, we can never and will never be forsaken–for God will not forsake His children (Psalm 99:14).

Alleluia! Thank God for the gospel. Thank God for Christ!

We’re off to the airport now! Soph’s happily ensconced with Uncle TJ (who, by the way, has some STUNNING paintings up right now, including a FRAMED one that would be an IDEAL Christmas present for someone special in your life), Auntie Samara, Scout & William. And I’m already missing her so much that my heart hurts. I’m sure I’ll be OK once I get moving and the wonderful CCEF Conference begins, but here at home? In the quietness of the early morning with Lili snoring at my feet? My momma heart is keenly aware that something is “not the way it’s supposed to be.”

So with that, I’ll head on up for final packing.

Hope you enjoy a wonderful Wednesday! "Warming yourself at the fire of God’s love ..."

Yours,
Tara B.

PS
All of the quotes above came from Richard Lovelace’s, Dynamics of Spiritual Life: An Evangelical Theology of Renewal. I’d never heard of Richard Lovelace before, but I really want to read this book now!

PPS
If you’d like to do your devotional today on that rich truth that you have been “bought with a price,” I reviewed this Spurgeon sermon this morning and was “warmed” with the gospel. I heartily commend it to you.

Another topic I would LOVE to hear your thoughts on (counsel / observations / this is how we do it in our church / this drives me CRAZY) is this:

How do you decide whether you (and your children) are too sick to leave the house?

This is of particular relevance to me because, OF COURSE, we are sick AGAIN.

(Time for a TRIP, so time for the Barthels to be SICK. Ergh ergh ergh. Oops–I mean, “Content in all circumstances! Content in all circumstances! Trusting God’s sovereignty. Yes! This is not much suffering at all–no it’s NOT. Grateful grateful grateful.” God help me (He does!)–I really AM trying to have a good attitude.)

But it came on like it usually does. One of us (Fred) started feeling “stuffy”, more congestion over time, chesty cough, feeling weak–BAM. Down with a bad cold. One day later, Soph starts acting a little “off” and then it takes 15 Kleenex to blow her nose. ERGH. I’ve been trying to ward it off with Zicam (you know that when I use NOSE SWABS I am REALLY SERIOUS about NOT WANTING TO BE SICK!!!), vitamin-C, rest, lots of water. Yeah-right. I’m totally down for the count–chesty cough, fever, constant runny nose (can’t even grab a tissue fast enough kind of runny nose–don’t you just LOVE those??).

But that brings me back to YESTERDAY–when I was just starting to feel a little OFF, but I KNEW that Fred was fighting a bug in our home and that, in all likelihood, I WAS NEXT.

What do YOU do in that situation? I’ve been amazed at how ALL OVER THE MAP moms can be:

- Personally? I don’t think you should go out when you know you’re sick or you’re fairly certain you’re about to get sick. (Isn’t that when you’re the most contagious??) I think people should STAY HOME because if they did, we’d ALL be a lot LESS sick. So I canceled co-op (which made both Sophie and me CRY!) and we hunkered in to try to get well.

- But then I have a (godly! smart! wise!) friend whose mothering skills (and theology and love for Jesus) I admire SO MUCH who says, “If you can make it out, GO ON OUT. Don’t worry about it. Builds immunities. It’s good for kids to get sick.” (And her healthy, hearty children ARE to be admired, I must admit.)

- At the other end of the spectrum are the families who pretty much NEVER go ANYWHERE because they are SO committed to avoiding germs; they avoid all group activities, keep their kids out of C.E. classes, and will switch pew rows if someone starts hacking up a lung.

- Which bring me to the last category I can come up with ... the child who climbs onto your lap during prayer time and promptly hacks all over you and requires five Kleenex; the friends who cough and wipe their noses around you for weeks; the coworker who leaves a doctor’s office with his prescription for his chesty cough and says confidently, “I’m past the contagious stage now!”; the school teacher who has never missed a day of work in 35 years and faithfully hugs every child, even though today she has to cough and blow her nose throughout the classtime.

What do you do in these situations?

- Take one look at the sick teacher and/or the sick child and run in the opposite direction? (Doesn’t that feel SO RUDE?! Sounds wise in theory but in that MOMENT, how do you just say, “Oh. You’re sick. But you still want to teach my kid / have a playdate / whatever. Yeah. No. That’s SO not going to happen. Bye-bye.”)

- Once you’ve already been hacked on and sprayed with snot, say, “Well, I’m sure I’m exposed by now anyway. Might as well stay.”

- Become germaphobic and never leave the house? (Especially if you have a large family! Wouldn’t staying home mean that some of my friends would never get out all winter?!?)

- So aren’t the “don’t worry about it” folks right? If I ate enough broccoli, wouldn’t I STAY healthy no matter what? Aren’t I just being paranoid? Shouldn’t I be at co-op right now?

Because even sick, I COULD have made it through the morning. I had everything organized, printed out, Veterans Day stuff, EVERYTHING. But I just thought it would be SO MEAN to go and share my germs with all of those kids and their moms whom I love SO much! (But maybe it was unloving to “let them down” by not being there??!)

How do co-ops and Sunday school classes and WORKPLACES (Peacemakers is the WORST for this, by the way! Sick people are there every single day, so “the peacemaker crud” just sticks around ALL WINTER. It’s awful!) survive? What do you do?

Well, right now I’M going to go an start packing. Whenever I’m not packed the day before a trip, I usually have PACKING NIGHTMARES (plane leaving in ten minutes, haven’t started packing yet, can’t find SOCKS, etc. etc.) ... so I’d better get going.

Hope you’re not needing Zicam & Puffs Plus like the Barthels!

Snifflingly and gratefully,
Tara B.

We had a (sad!) question posted over at PeaceGals and I’m HOPING that a few of you will pop on over and share your thoughts to encourage and help this woman.

Here is a portion of my response:

"Oh, Barbara!! I am SO sorry that you have experienced this. I bet that MANY of us could relate ...

- Unaware that someone is upset with us and growing MORE AND MORE upset with us with every passing day

- One day, there is an EXPLOSION (in person, via email, in the “old days”–an actual LETTER) and the person UNLOADS on us

- We hear about all of our failings, weaknesses, fallenness, immaturity, SIN

And then? And then? Do we hear the gospel? That God loves His children because of CHRIST, because it is His nature to be a forgiving and gracious and merciful God? That just as God never gives up on His children, this FRIEND will never give up on us too?

No. We hear this instead:

- “I never want to see you or hear from you again.”

- “There. I’ve said what I need to say and we’re DONE talking about this.”

- “Leave me in peace.”

But of course there is no peace. No Shalom. No presence of soundness and wholeness. No trust. No love.

So what do I recommend? ...

What would YOU recommend, dear blog friends??

Looking forward to reading your counsel–

Yours,
Tara B.

PS
I just saw that we currently have 99 members of PeaceGals ... so the very next person who registers will be #100!! Doesn’t that sound like it deserves some sort of “Tara loves to give away FREE STUFF prize???” Be sure to email me if you’re #100 and let’s see what we can do.

Blessed Veterans Day to all of our veterans!

Please take a minute or two to read AND PRAY THROUGH this excellent post. It’s a great guide to pray for our troops and their families.

Gratefully,
Tara B.

I could have avoided SO many conflicts and better communicated my (GENUINE!) love for people if ONLY I had known this in my 20's:



(Wow. That’s a LOT of wisdom, eh?)

Oh–and did you know that John Piper is also an INTJ? “INTJs are usually difficult to get to know well, and difficult to get close to.” Yup. That’s me. Difficult. But I would’ve been a little LESS difficult if back THEN I knew 1/100th of what I know now and 1/1,000,000th of what John Piper has forgotten in his lifetime.

Hope your Monday is going well–

Yours,
Tara B.

(HT: TakeYourVitaminZ!)

I can’t remember if we included it or not–but I sure hope that we have Isaiah 62 in our chapter on “shame” (in Peacemaking Women).

I was re-reading it again this weekend, praying it for myself, for our church, for The Church, for a friend–and I was struck by just how much this passage of scripture emphasizes the aspects of the gospel that speak directly to our temptation to ungodly shame:

- A new name that the Lord bestows.
- A crown of beauty, glorious.
- No longer Forsaken and Desolate because now? The Lord’s Delight is in Her.
- Sought Out. A City No Longer Forsaken.

I don’t know about you–but I’m feeling neither glorious nor sought after these days. With all of the suffering in our Body? It would be easy to be tempted to feel forsaken.

But what is truth? What is Truth? Read Isaiah 62. Meditate on it. Chew on it. Preach it to yourself–yes, individually (God saves individual people!), but also corporately (the Church, the Bride, the Body).

"Behold, the Lord has proclaimed to the end of the earth: Say to the daughter of Zion, “Behold, your salvation comes; behold, his reward is with him, and his recompense before him.” And they shall be called The Holy People, The Redeemed of the Lord ..." (Isaiah 62:11-12)

Yes, Lord. Amen & amen.
Let it be for it is so.

Prayerfully,
Tara B.

Don’t miss this rich post by Tim Chester:

Creating Communities of Grace

Let me tempt you with just a snippet:

"(1) Make the connections ...

(2) Welcome the mess:

Welcome messy communities. Welcome messy people. Obviously you’ll want them to change, to become more like Jesus, to be set free from their slaveries. But don’t make your welcome dependent on change. Don’t suppress conflict. Don’t hide problems.

(3) Stop pretending ...

(4) Stop performing ...

(5) Eat and drink with broken people ...

(6) Give people time to change:

I think there are some tensions and questions here, but we need to give people time to change. How long did it take for you to become perfectly like Jesus? Of course, you’re still changing. There are some sins we’re prepared to work on over a lifetime, but there are others where we demand instant change. Why is this? The answer, of course, is that we want them to become respectable. We don’t want a messy community. So we say, ‘You’re saved by faith, but to become part of the church (e.g. to be baptised) you need to change your life.’ So which is it? Are we saved by works or are we saved by works?

(7) Focus on the heart ..."

Preach it, Pastor Chester!

Thank God for grace.

Happy, blessed Monday to you!

Yours,
Tara B.

Sophie’s been doing MUCH better (thanks again for praying) but this morning, as she was sitting on my lap at church, she had a quote that immediately ended our church service:

"Mom? Would it be OK if I threw up on your pretty church clothes?"

(Well, of course things would ultimately be “OK.” And you wouldn’t be in trouble. And I’d be way more concerned about YOU than clothing. But still ... even the risk of a child barfing in the front row of church is just not something we need to risk. So homeward we go.)

Hope they get Pastor Jason’s sermon online early tomorrow so I can hear the end!

Happy Sunday to you and yours–
Tara B.

No promises because there are simply too many things that are beyond my control (will I have a live wi-fi connection? will my old laptop die a sad technological death between now and Thursday?) ...

But assuming that all goes well, I am going to do my very best to LIVE BLOG the CCEF Annual Conference (Thursday 11/13 - Sunday 11/16).

Please be sure to check back and participate! (You can post questions to me AS I live blog and Fred is going to try to snap a few photos so that you can get a “feel” for the venue.) CCEF has graciously given me permission to do everything except stream the actual audio or video–and since I can type at the rate of speech, I think we can have some serious fun.

Hope to “see you” in Philly this weekend!

Yours,
Tara B.

Rather than do any of the 30 paid hours of writing that I (really!) need to get to in the next few days (!!) ... we decided to have a quiet and fun family day yesterday.

After a quick stop at the gymnastics school for Sophie’s team photo, we popped over to the zoo to see our favorite bear, Bruno ...



(One of the zoo keepers taught us that if you blow right at the seam of the window, he can smell you and he comes very close and tries to kiss/lick you!)



One more stop (to add Fred’s voice to Sophie’s LoveBunny so that she’ll have both of us to cuddle with this week when we go away for the first time since 2007) ... and it was time for popcorn and games at home.

Soph figured out Set and had a blast beating us.



(I love that kids can genuinely beat adults at Set. It’s so fun for everyone! I have very happy memories of playing this game with my nieces and nephews when they were, you know, not yet six feet tall like they are now.)

But the most fun I had yesterday was introducing Sophia to my two favorite board games from my childhood: Battleship and Sorry. The 1970’s versions of course.

(How OCD am I? I still have every single piece from the actual games. 30 years and counting. I’m so weird.)

Anyway ... Soph liked them both. “It’s like a MAP!” she said about Battleship:



And I kept chuckling at how “Sorry” is the COMPLETE OPPOSITE of a genuine, “5 A’s Confession”. ("Sorrrr-eeeee! Yeah, right. Hah. Go back to your START I’m SO happy to switch places with you! Hah!")

If you need a reminder of how great the Young Peacemaker principles are, especially when they are presented in a Vacation Bible School format, check out:



OK. Off to get ready now.

Hope you have a wonderful day!

Yours,
Tara B.

I’m saving this as a “favorites” for awhile and seeing how often it makes me laugh out loud. If the future is anything like tonight, I’ll regularly be checking in on a new blog:

Cake Wrecks

As Fred says, “It’s the commentary that makes this blog SO funny.” And he’s right.

(HT to HalfPintHouse!)

PS

*** WARNING ****
Some of the cakes are a bit, ummmmmm, risque. Most are just funny, but please BE WISE–especially re: children viewing this site.
***WARNING*******

PPS
Here’s one of my favorites. (Be sure to remember Fred’s reflections and click through to read the commentary.)

Hey everyone! (All, you know, FIVE of you who might click onto this blog on a Saturday afternoon ...)

Fred is trying to teach me how to LIVE BLOG and we’re going to try it out RIGHT NOW. So if things seem goofy, please bear with us. Oh, and if you want to join in the fun (or whatever options the software gives you), please do!

OK. Here we go. About to try to live blog our lazy Saturday afternoon (with the hope of MAYBE live-blogging the CCEF Conference next week).

Happy Saturday!
- Tara B.

Rather than that fancy-schmancy-random-number-generator-thingy that Joe recommended, we decided to practice CUTTING. So I printed off all of the comments and Sophie cut them into strips.



Then we chose seven names–and happily, 6 of you wanted “Radical Womanhood” and 1 wanted “Running Scared.”

(Hmmmm ... doesn’t sound very random. But I promise it was!)

Here are the winners:

Running Scared: Anita T

Radical Womanhood: Lauri, Marcia, Megan, Diana, Susan J, Emily

All winners? PLEASE be sure to EMAIL YOUR ADDRESS TO ME (even if you’re “SURE” I already have it).

I’ll send out “Running Scared” and one copy of “Radical Womanhood” today and the other five copies as soon as I receive them from Moody.

Thanks, everyone, for participating! I loved hearing from you all.

Happy Saturday!

Yours,
Tara B.

We’ve enjoyed a pretty good week lessons-wise, even during Sophie’s days of (residually painful) recovery. We find that a Golden and a video are good for such times:



And, yes, I even cooked some meals! Real meals. Ingredients & a recipe & the application of heat and everything. Hooray!

Here is our effort at a CrockPot 3-Packet Pot Roast:



('Twas a little spicy. I might halve the peppercorn packet next time and try again. Hey! Didn’t that just sound like an almost-functional adult woman who isn’t terrified of cooking? So cool! It really is true that every time I cook, I DO feel a little more confident/a little less scared.)

Sophie is “settling the West” on her map of the United States of America and I need to scoot to help Fred get out the door on time.

Hope your Friday is a blessed one! Thanks again for the prayers and encouragement.

Yours,
Tara B.

PS
Don’t forget to go back to those FREE BOOKS! posts and leave a comment by midnight. I’m looking forward to sending off your books tomorrow.

How fun!!

Our dear, wonderful RadicalWomanhood author Carolyn McCulley read about my little giveaway and wanted to join in the fun–so she has donated an additional five copies of her book to be given away.

6 free copies to be given away! All you have to do is leave a COMMENT.

Thanks, Carolyn (& Moody press too)!

Happily,
Tara B.

Hey! Don’t you think your church might want a women’s retreat on peacemaking or living the gospel in relationships or some other related topic?

I hear there’s a nice lady in ol' Montana who will fly to wherever you are (Australia? Europe? Topeka?) and serve for a weekend. You should check out the Speaking Page of her website and consider inviting her to be with you.

Seriously? Future bookings that are “far out” (after 2009) have begun to increase–I’m guessing in response to the release of the video series–but 2009 is so far a very quiet year. I sure would LOVE to get to meet some of you wonderful blog readers in REAL LIFE.

No set fee. (We’ve turned down inquiries because of travel time / time away from my family / scheduling problems, etc. But never because of money.)

Relevant topic. (Everyone has conflict, eh?)

Please do keep us in mind!

OK. Now I REALLY have to get this writing assignment done. Ergh!

Love ya bunches,
Tara B.

Before all of the medical stuff swooped in our us this week, Sophie and I had a particularly fun day out and about at her gymnastics class, violin lesson, and then an impromptu stop for a momma-daughter ice cream date. Just watching my little love sitting there at DQ, licking her favorite vanilla cone, I was overwhelmed with gratitude to God and I leaned over, gave her a little squeeze, and said:

"I love you, Sophia! You are such a sweet daughter and such a good friend to me too. I really thank God for you."

Her response was not what I expected.

After a few moments, tears began to flow out of her eyes and she began to cry.

"Momma?! I did something very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, VERY bad."

“What, honey?” I asked, quite concerned by the extreme number of “verys.”

“Well, sometimes I go up to my room and I say that ... well ... that ... that you are MEAN! But you’re NOT mean! And I say that I don’t LIKE YOU. But I DO like you, Mom! I LOVE you!”

(And more tears came.)

What a moment. I mean, who among us hasn’t, at times, “hated” our mothers? Who hasn’t felt such things and said such things–even if only to ourselves and to our stuffed animals as we stomped around our room?

Interestingly, I assumed that her temptations to be this upset with me would’ve mostly come at the times when I really WAS being a jerk–using a harsh tone of voice, being disrespectful of her ... times when it would be hard for ANYONE to love me because I was actually SINNING.

But no. As we talked and I drew out what was really going on in her sweet little heart, I discovered that the times she was MOST tempted to be angry with me were normal ol' “my mom is asking me to do something and I don’t want to do it” times. This was actually quite comforting to me! And of course I could tell her example after example of times that I didn’t want to do something that I knew I had to–times that I was tempted to stomp around and grumble.

So I helped her to confess and I readily forgave her. And I gave her some strategies for how to fight against such temptations in the future–and encouraged her to GET HELP if she needed to (because although it is totally understandable to FEEL such things, still, we are not to SIN simply because we FEEL a certain way).

And we finished our ice cream and headed home. Fully forgiven. A fresh start! Both of us so grateful for grace.

Hope your Thursday is going well! Sophie’s almost through all of her lessons for the day and I’m almost done with a paid writing assignment that is due today. Hmmmm ... best get back to that right now!

Blessings to you–

Yours,
Tara B.

If you (or someone you love) is struggling with lust, you may want to check out this post over at TakeYourVitaminZ. Might be worth your time.

Our church leaders have also been helped greatly by an accountability program called Covenant Eyes.

Oh–and just to try to avoid the flaming/rude comments about how Christians “overreact to this ONE sin, blah blah blah”, please know that we ALL need help whenever we are tempted to ensnared by anything (ANYTHING–even someone good) that begins to enslave us as a ruling lust.

Hope the links are helpful!

Yours,
Tara B.

Good morning, everyone!

Just a quick note to parrot my friends Stacy and Amy by reminding us all that:

"God uses all history for His Story."

So no matter what our rejoicing or lamenting over election results, we can always rejoice in Him!

AND to remind you that I have two FREE BOOK giveaways ending Friday (Nov 7) at midnight:

Carolyn McCulley’s “Radical Womanhood: Feminine Faith in a Feminist World”

Ed Welch’s “Running Scared: Fear, Worry, and the God of Rest”

All you have to do is leave a comment (and make sure I have some way of reaching you) and if your name is selected, you’ll have a new book (or two!).

Out of 5,000+ regular readers of this blog, only a handful (10? 20?) have entered the drawings. (Gotta like THOSE odds!) And since I NEVER give your name or contact information to ANYONE (ever! I hate SPAM!)–what do you have to lose?

I have a number of blogs that I want to write for you–but my day may be a bit full again holding my love-bug (who cried for hours in the night, but did not actually throw up, so that’s a huge grace! but I’m a tired Momma). So we’ll see when I can make it back to the laptop.

Lilikoi spent her first night OUT OF HER KENNEL. It was great. She was such a comforting presence as we were up with Sophia.

Hope you all slept better than us and that this day and every day, you remember that:

"God uses all history for His Story."

Amen? Amen!

Love to you all,
Tara B.

THANKS for praying and for bearing with my concerned Momma blogging today.

We’re just back from the doctor’s and I’m very (very!) grateful that it seems like there is a reasonable explanation (irritation from when she had the flu last month, acid building up, 1-3AM is most acidic time/no food in belly) and all diagnostic tests point away from anything profoundly serious (thank God!).

So we’re going to do an anti-acid medicine (and stop acidic/citrus foods) for one month and see if it abates. Then we’ll take her off of the medicine and see if it returns. If it doesn’t, we’re in the clear. If it does, we’ll have to have another conversation.

How grateful I am for medical care! And how grateful I am that there isn’t an underlying, serious condition.

Must run because our small group meets in a few minutes–

Thanks again!

Yours,
Tara B.

Fred and I would really appreciate your prayers as we need wisdom re: a (painful & scary) medical problem that Sophie is currently facing.

Last Thursday night and again early this morning (3:30AM!), Sophie has been woken out of a deep sleep by acute abdominal pain. “Acute abdominal pain” sounds so, well, benign, so let me flesh it out for you ...

She screams and screams and SCREAMS while clutching her belly and doubling over. Her eyes are terrified. She literally starts begging God to please help her. And she keeps screaming. For ten minutes, then she vomits and falls back asleep. (Well, that’s what happened last week. Last night, she slept then awoke to vomit; slept and awoke to vomit, repeat cycle.)

The next morning? Perfectly happy, healthy child. No fever. No nausea. No bleary eyes. No “just wants to lie down and watch videos” (i.e., no flu). She’s eating normally; using the bathroom normally; full of energy and as active as always. Totally normal–well, except for this “screaming child in extreme agony and vomiting in the night” problem.

(!!)

It was so bad that last week I just about threw her into the car and drove to the e.r. And last night it was so bad that I almost called 9-1-1. Seriously. I just can’t find the words to describe how much pain she is in.

I spoke with a doctor twice in the night and we will leave soon to see a doctor today. Last week we saw our doctor’s nurse practitioner. The problem is that “acute abdominal pain” in a four-year old is just a very hard thing to diagnose if it doesn’t follow the normal gastroenteritis/flu pattern.

It’s going to end up being relatively benign (diet? something for the naturopath to help us with?) or something serious (surgical) ... and the diagnosis will be hard to come by.

Fred and I are supposed to leave for the CCEF conference in one week–but of course we could never leave her if this pattern continues. So I’m praying for wisdom for our doctor and for us re: tests/treatment; for healing (of course) for whatever is going on in her sweet little body; and for wisdom re: our trip and other responsibilities this week.

Thanks for even considering joining us in prayer!

Yours,
Tara B.

PS
One “plus” of being up since 3:35AM is that, since she did finally stop vomiting around 5:00, and she was sound asleep, Fred stayed home with her and Lili and I ran out to vote right at 7:00AM.

Please take a minute to read a great post by Tim Chester:

Communities of Performance vs Communities of Grace

(HT: TakeYourVitaminZ)

Our family has started to talk more in earnest about trying to adopt a brother or sister for Sophia–so we were particularly excited about the Together for Adoption conference being hosted by the same (wonderful!) church that recorded my video series (Hi Southside! Hi Lori! Hi Marilyn! Hi Joe! ).

We don’t know how the Lord will lead us ... but Sophie is lobbying pretty hard for a sibling. She just LOVES the babies! Here she is with her latest “daughter”:



(Lilikoi REALLY wanted to be in these pictures. She almost escaped between Fred’s legs ... )



Fred and I had a significant conversation this morning. (Nothing like a communion Sunday to prompt the hard work of REALLY working through conflicts and seeking genuine reconciliation, eh? How grateful I am that our pastors guard the table.)

And our church had an extended time of praise and prayer this evening–what a grace.

I hope your Sabbath was restful!

G'nite and God bless,
Tara B.

[This is a re-post of a blog I wrote back in 2007. A family in our church is facing a major medical challenge and we’re all trying to figure out how best to help them–so I wanted to review it myself. And then a friend encouraged me to post it–so here you are ...]

I just received this list from my dear (dear!) friend and fellow PeaceGal, Ruth M., and I immediately asked her if I could share it with you all. (She said, “Sure! But it’s just a rough draft and it’s very much in process.”)

I’ve re-ordered things a bit (am I compulsive organizer or WHAT?) to group by genre ... and the little subittles are mine. (So blame me for the weird wording, not Ruth!)

But I just have to say, if you have ever said, “I would really like to help!” to a family in need (cancer? loss of a baby? unemployment? death?), I’d copy this list down and keep it in your files!

(That’s what I’m going to do for sure.)

Thanks, Ruth!

(BTW–Ruth has been battling cancer for years, so she speaks from experience. I’ve left some of her quotes in the list.)

Love to all–-

Your friend,
Tara B.

“I would like to help in any way I can. I can…” “May I …”

Help with the Daily/Regular Ol’ Stuff of Life:

- Do any housekeeping chores you’d like (dishwashing, dusting, cleaning whatever needs cleaned, bathrooms, whatever!)
- Do your grocery shopping
- Do your laundry (at your home or mine)
- Feed your pets and plants
- Fix ............... in your house

("Things seem to break down more when there’s no one to fix it!")

- Weed and/or plant flowers
- Mow/trim the yard
- Wash/detail your car
- Have the oil changed in your car
- Get your car(s) inspected
- Take your children to the park (babysit anytime—even overnights)
- Take over you carpool duties
- Make school lunches

Help with the Stuff Specifically Related to the Crisis:

- Sit in the hospital waiting room with your family
- Handle updates and field phone calls and communications for you

(“I think one of the best things people can do is coordinating one or two people—usually a close friend or family member—to be in charge of obtaining updates and then distributing them. We had one for the phone and one for email and I can’t overstate the importance of this help. It kept all the prayer warriors informed without our having to repeat the news unnecessarily. It also guarded us from having to field various questions we may or may not have been able to answer.”)

- Coordinate the church’s mercy ministry aspect (meals, rides, etc.)

(“One of the most helpful things was done for me was that our Shepherding Elder’s wife coordinated the schedule of meals (she asked about our favorites, allergies, and our treatment schedule) and communicated with the church office about our needs. She even arranged transportation to appointments. She did this all through email—and it was far easier to communicate in this way than to answer several well-meaning phone calls wanting to help. This also helped to have a written record later of who did what so we could appropriately send thank you notes.”)

- Bring you the church bulletin and tell you about the sermon/service/church family
- Gather a cheer basket of movies, books, magazines (many loaned so home doesn’t get cluttered permanently)
- Host a special dinner and prayer time for you

(“One dear friend gathered our closest friends together for a dinner together where we enjoyed one another and prayed together before my surgery. This may not always be feasible (and wasn’t the third time around) but was a precious gift.”)

Gift Ideas:

- Gas cards

(“Anything to defray the expenses is helpful. Even with excellent insurance, illnesses and crises create unforeseen expenses and additional financial hardships.”)

- Grocery store cards
- Visa gift cards

(“These things allow anyone in the home to run these errands for the patient and family without having to worry about money exchange.”)

- Hospital parking vouchers

(“There are few things as insulting as family members of critically ill patients having to pay daily to park to oversee the care and visit with their loved one.”)

- Hospital cafeteria vouchers
- Soothing music CDs
- Bible on CD
- Ipod with audio books already programmed on it
- Humorous cards and signs

(“Laughter is great medicine and it’s not possible to overemphasize this aspect. But, please be sensitive to the particular personality and your own relationship with the person.”)

- Guest book for visitors to sign and write notes.

(“This is good even if patient is sleeping, for visitors to leave notes and encouragement even after they’ve gone. I still read mine.”)

- Pamphlets that share the gospel to give to medical personnel and others

(“I recommend John Piper’s “Quest for Joy—Six Biblical Truths” and other resources relevant to illness and hope. I had an IV tech nurse come back to me for counseling following my giving her the John Piper brochure. There is no time like a crisis to share the hope of the gospel!”)

- Care bags for waiting rooms—puzzle books/word game, water, snacks, change for phone calls, scripture pamphlets, pen/pencil, notepad
- Scripture signs and encouragement notes for the hospital rooms
- Dry-erase marker board for the hospital room to help keep track of phone numbers, room numbers, the names of nurses and doctors, the next pain medicine time
- A night away for the couple (including childcare too).

(“One of the wisest recommendations we received initially was to not postpone couple time together. For each of my diagnoses, Tim and I have taken (made!) time to be away alone together. These are precious memories for us both and served to strengthen our bond and our faith in times that were otherwise chaotic. Some folks contributed to an overnight and special dinner for us one time.”)

Well THIS is fun! I love getting to share great books with people ... so howabout another GIVEAWAY?

This time for Ed Welch’s (WONDERFUL!) book, Running Scared: Fear, Worry, and the God of Rest.

Just leave a comment between now and midnight (Mtn. time) Friday, November 7 and make sure that I have some way of contacting you. We’ll generate a random number, pick a winner, and send this great book on its way to a happy new owner.

(And don’t forget–I will NEVER give your personal information to ANYONE, so you can join my FREE STUFF GIVEAWAYS with no worries about SPAM or junk mail.)

Happy Saturday to you all! Ours started with a family jaunt through Sophie’s baby book (in bed) and Saturday Cereal–Lucky Charms! (in bed). Sweet on so many levels.

Blessings,
Tara B.

(A few pics from our week ...)

Sophie did her first “Trick-or-Treating” (to our four closest neighbors) when we got home from the Reformation Party at our church ...



Do you remember our friend whose birthday is AFTER Sophia’s but who was born BEFORE Sophia? (Riddle me THAT, Batman!) Well, here she is as a little cowgirl ...



Fun at “Boo at the Zoo” ...



(And just as a little shout-out to any homeschoolers who might be lurking on this blog ... )

Here’s a pretty great way to learn ancient history ...



And science (Hi Mrs. Reck!) ...