considerable grace

Last night as she was playing in her schoolroom, Sophie began to be very troubled over something she had done to a friend’s worksheet during history class. Apparently, the girl had drawn a picture of Sophie and Sophie didn’t like it. So she CROSSED-OUT the girls' drawing without her permission to do so.

The girl was gracious in responding and basically just started erasing out the “X". But two days later, Sophie was still troubled by what she had done.

”What is the only way out of the this situation, Soph?", I asked her.

“I need to talk to her and confess.”

“Sounds about right, dear. Do you ned some help to call her?”

“I can do it.” Dial dial. Ring ring. And then Sophia made a lovely 5 A’s Apology to her friend ...

“Hello? Mary? It’s Sophie. I’m calling to apologize for scratching out the picture you made during history class. I should not have done that and I feel terrible about it. In the future, I won’t do that again. Will you please forgive me?”

“Yes, Sophie, I forgive you.”
“Thank you! I hope we can keep being friends.”
“Of course!”
“OK. See you at the play!”

(As an aside, our church is doing The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe this weekend as a free play for the community. So please come to Rocky Mountain Community Church at 7PM Friday or Saturday night and see Mr Tumnus and Lucy and Edmond and the White Witch. It should be great!)

Back to Soph’s story ... she was reconciled to her friend, but still feeling awful. Wanting to hide in her closet. Crying harshly. It was bad.

So we talked some more ...

About how SHE would be very quick to forgive her friend if SHE were on the receiving end of such a call. And once forgiveness had been granted, she wouldn’t want her friend to feel sad or burdened. But instead, she would want her friend to embrace the JOY and ASSURANCE that God fully forgives her AND Sophie fully forgives her too.

And then we always end these types of conversations with something along the lines of, “Mom? Do you remember what I did at history class...” And I say to her, “Sophie, I have chosen to not remember what you did. You are FORGIVEN. As far as the East is from the West, so far are your transgressions removed from you. It is finished. Covered. There is now therefore NO condemnation for those who are in Chirst Jesus. We are new creations! We get a fresh start.”

What good news! The BEST news.

May it comfort and encourage us when we are prone to wander and to sin —
God fully forgives His children.

G'nite (or good morning depending on your time zone) —

Yours,
Tara B.

PS
You can see a nice illustration of the Young Peacemaker 5 A’s of Confession in a brief video that I recorded at last year’s Peacemaker Clubs put on by the young people in our church:



And you can learn the "5A SONG" with this video:

BTW – I didn’t mean to give any of you a startle by posting ebay links to maternity clothes. I’m still pregnant! Happily growing more uncomfortable as our little girl adds girth and strength in utero (and her kicks and stretches become stronger in response).

We’re a week or so into the third trimester now and if all goes well, we should be holding her on Monday, July 27 (via a scheduled c-section for a series of necessary medical reasons).

I’m trying to kick it up a knotch re: eating healthy for the baby (and for my post-partum health goals too, but mostly for the baby). My indigestion at “bad” foods really helps me to crave them less, so that’s easy.

And one way I’m trying to add in more “good” foods is by drinking one bottle of Greens to Go a day.



“It’s a salad in every packet!” Or so they say ...

And I DO feel that I am making a do-able and wise choice when I drink my green gunk “for the baby” and try to rejoice in all of the nutritious antioxidants that our two bodies are benefitting from as I force myself to chug it down. (It really doesn’t taste THAT bad usually. The key is to have COLD WATER and really SHAKE OR BLEND it. Then it’s doable.)

Yes, yes, I am fully aware that I don’t need this processed stuff. I should just be eating my daily kale, rutabaga, Brussels sprouts, tomatoes, peas, beans, carrots, squash, etc. etc.

But having grown up eating ONE (count 'em, ONE) “vegetable” ... CORN (yes, I’m aware it’s a STARCH! but for my childhood I was told it was a vegetable and it was the only one I ever ate. EVER.) So I’m swimming up against a pretty strong tide of NOT liking vegetables as an adult ... but I DO try. I really do!

And my little Greens to Go packets help me to take a little baby step of health–especially for the baby, whom I already love so much!

So thanks for the concerned notes–but yes, I’m still pregnant, just wearing different sizes. Hence, the ebay sales. I hope that they can be a real blessing to some women!

Signing off now–
Still hoping and praying for sleep!

Yours,
Tara B.

Sorry I haven’t really blogged today! It’s 9:30PM and I’m just now coming up for air. Whew! A good day, but a FULL day.

One big project I tackled was my very first listing of a bunch of used maternity clothes on ebay.

I was just going to just give them away as usual–and if no one bids on them, that’s still my plan. (The sizes are XL and up and I know from past donations that the women’s shelter has a hard time finding plus-sized maternity clothes for the women they serve.) But with the incredibly high medical expenses we’re facing this year, I felt obligated to at least TRY to see if I could contribute to financially to our family’s bottomline.

So if you know anyone who needs plus-sized maternity clothes or if you’d like to give them to YOUR local women’s shelter, please check out my listings.

(Oh, and if you’re a power ebay seller and you see anything in my listings that should be changed/improved, I’d LOVE your advice. I’m a total newbie and I’d love to do a better job.)

I’m going to try to head to bed now (with Fred listening to the Gospel Coalition in the background)–I’m not sleeping through the night. Again. 2:30AM is apparently the time my body “needs” to wake up. It’s a good time to pray but I’d really like to be sleeping.

Hope you had a great Wednesday!

Sending you my love—
Tara B.

PS
If you need any encouragement to listen to the Gospel Coalition messages, check out this post from Pastor Anyabwile. He is SO wise and I respect his opinions so much! Guess which messages I’m listening to next ...

I am reflecting further on the destructive power of our words as I (yet again) clean up my temporary blog list.

(I think I’ve mentioned before how I keep track of new blogs in a “temporary” folder so that I can occasionally read them and see if they are worth keeping around. It takes a really good blog to stay in my daily or weekly reading area.)

Anyway – I ended up deleting 2 or 3 blogs that I know a bunch of people like, but were just too snarky for me. This life is hard enough! And we are surrounded by negative words from so many sources–I just don’t have much tolerance for biting words from ostensibly Christian blogs.

Ditto for Christian political blogs. As I’m sure you know if you’ve read this blog for any length of time, I feel very strongly about my country and I do have strong convictions about various political, economical, and social issues. I read across the spectrum of worldviews, however, and the person who ALWAYS wins my respect is the person who is LOGICAL, fact-based, WINSOME and NOT prone to devolve into emotional rhetoric and dressed-up name-calling.

(I’ve had to delete more than a few Christian political blogs for these convictions over the years. And I “hide” people who have “friended” me on FB when their little updates/posts are similarly graceless/proud/attack-y.)

I’m still on the edge about ONE blog, however. I do like to read it and I learn something new on a fairly regular basis from the wisdom and experience of the authors. BUT. If they don’t agree with someone? If they don’t respect someone’s conclusions? OH MY STARS. Their “review” / criticism of something they don’t like is just about as HARSH and UNCHARITABLE as anything I have ever read. So I can never recommend them any more. And I wonder if the good is good enough to overcome the occasional bad.

(They’re staying in my “temporary” blog file for a little while yet. I guess we’ll see where the future leads ...)

Oh, and if you’re curious as to WHY I might be so sensitive to this topic? It’s because THE MOST harsh, graceless, condemning, critical, proud, judgmental, uncharitable person has NOTHING on how I was for the first MANY years of my Christian walk. I was absolutely the biggest jerk of a Christian you have EVER seen. And if there is even the TINIEST bit of growth in me, it is ONLY God’s grace in me. 100%. Guaranteed.

OK. Must run to get the pack through breakfast, make lunches, and head off to co-op. I think I’m teaching PHONICS today (subbing) and we’re in week two of our orchestra study. Fred’s coming to play trumpet for us! Should be fun ...

Blessings and SWEET WORDS on your day–

Your friend,
Tara B.

Pastor (and cartoonist!) Joe McKeever recently had an interesting post about church conflict and pastors with an ending that is definitely worth your time.

Let me give you a just a portion of the entire post and you can click on through to the entire post if you are interested. (Be forewarned, however, that the first story is a little long and a little bit hard to read in parts.)

(At the end of the first story ...)

"My quick assessment, based solely on my friend’s account, is that such an immature wife-dominated pastor has no business leading a congregation. He is not a shepherd who cares for his flock. He is cowardly (he refused to talk to the woman whom he accuses of wrong before hearing her, then turns around and wrongs her!), yet he compares himself to God (calling the husband to account for the sin of his wife!). Furthermore, he forbids the church staff from having anything further to do with my friend and her husband. I’d like to know where he finds that in the Bible!

What I wish is that my friend and her husband had not suffered in silence on this, but had called in two or three church leaders, assuming the congregation had some mature enough to see the situation and courageous enough to stand up to the preacher. Every pastor has a few individuals in his church whose opinions and judgments he values. Failing that, he has one or more whom he fears because he knows they hold the keys to his continued employment.

Pastors who wrong their members need to be held accountable, if for no other reason than that they might face their misdeeds, repent and be forgiven. In the process, they will grow, and eventually might even become true shepherds of the Lord’s people.

Whether the wrong originates in the pulpit or the pew, once it threatens the well-being of a child of God and the health and fellowship of a church, it should be dealt with promptly.

I heard this week an illustration of how miscommunication and misunderstanding can quickly jeopardize the fellowship of a church and the work of a minister.

The incoming pastor had last served with our SBC North American Mission Board (referred to colloquially as NAMB), headquartered in Alpharetta, Georgia. On his very first Sunday in the new church, the pastor said something to the effect that “I want to thank my NAMB friends for their encouragement….” Well sir, some lady sitting toward the back of the church who clearly does not hear well, did not know the word “NAMB” and thought he said “damn.” Really, she was totally convinced that was what she had heard. Hard to believe.

The biddy was irate and could not wait to get with her friends and start a gossip-campaign in the congregation. All week long the matter spread throughout the community. “What kind of pastor do we have!!” "I was shocked!" “Have you heard what the new preacher at the First Baptist Church said Sunday?” "If he would use such language from the pulpit, what else might he do!"

Toward the end of the week, the tale finally reached the pastor’s office. When he heard it, to his credit, he bellowed with laughter.

The next Sunday, he used the powerpoint to spell out NORTH AMERICAN MISSION BOARD (NAMB) in huge letters on the giant screen and to explain what it meant. The friend who told me that story said the congregation roared with laughter.

To this date, she said, no one knows who started the campaign.

I do. It originated in Hell."

I have to admit that I agree with Pastor McKeever that such a destructive campaign has its roots in Hell.

Initially, I was going to try to end this post by drawing his conclusion back to our THREE enemies (the world, the Old Man, and Satan) ... but upon reflection, I am completely comfortable with saying that the ongoing attacks against the Church absolutely have spiritual forces at play.

Yes, of course, this woman’s “areas in need of sanctification” were also showing. (As were the areas of immaturity in every other person who permitted her to spread such slanderous gossip without stopping her, helping her, and protecting the pastor/church.)

But Satan hates the Church. So I agree with Pastor McKeever that Hell had something to do with the destruction brought about by such a “restless fire full of deadly poison”.

What a chilling to reminder to ME to guard my speech!! And to make charitable presumptions (presuming the BEST until I have FACTS that prove otherwise.) And gently going to speak TO THE PERSON who has offended me / or with whom I have a concern (not going around speaking ABOUT them to others).

“May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing in Your sight this day, O Lord.”

Amen & Amen

(And Happy Tuesday to you all!)

Yours,
Tara B.

Sunday morning, I was yet again blessed by the God-centered humility demonstrated from the pulpit by the two elders who opened our service (prior to our pastor’s wonderful sermon).

As is usually the case in our church’s order of worship, one elder calls us to worship and opens the service with Scripture reading and prayer, and after corporate worship (singing), the other elder leads us through a time of corporate confession of sin, words of assurance of our forgiveness, and corporate prayer.

How grateful I am that when we came to our time of corporate confession, our elder modeled real confession for us by confessing his own struggles with anger, impatience, and using a harsh tone of voice with his children. Our elders regularly confess sin from the pulpit and in so doing, they give us great confidence that we, too, can REALLY be honest (before the Lord, in our own hearts, AND corporately) and confess sin too.

Our hope is in the Lord! NOT in being “good people.” We ALL struggle with sin! Our remedy isn’t to try harder or do better–our Only Remedy is faith in Christ. He is Our Forgiveness. He is Our Hope.

And when we read the responsive reading of corporate confession and the elder gave us a time of silence to search our own hearts, I was SORELY convicted of a horribly harsh tone I had used with Sophie just the night before. Honestly? I hadn’t used such an awful tone with her in months. But I did last night and I was appropriately ashamed.

So I confessed to the Lord and then I whispered my confession to Sophia. Her eyes grew wide and she whispered back how it really did scare her when I spoke to her like that. I admitted again that I was wrong, it was sinful, and I asked her to please forgive me.

As usual, she was QUICK to forgive me and we could go on and enjoy the rest of the church service fully reconciled.

Grace grace grace. I just don’t know how people live apart from the Lord and His Bride.

Off into our day now–
I am SURROUNDED by STUFF (because whenever you paint you make a HUGE organizational mess too, right?).

Here’s to taking it slowly and working to put the house back together ...

Blessings to you!

Your friend,
Tara B.

I really appreciate Jess’s winsome and wise writing style–and MAN! Her kids are CUTE!

So if you’re interested in reading about homeschooling, why not pop over to:

Homeschool Curriculum Choices – A Stream of Consciousness Analysis

Tim Challies linked over to a great CCEF article that I encourage you to check out:

When the Problem Is S*xual Sin–A Counseling Model

The author, John Bettler, uses a three-tiered pyramid analogy (with “Lust Object” at the top, “Relational Lusts” in the middle and “Life-Meaning Luses” at the bottom) to illustrate his teaching points.

There are many excellent points that are useful for all struggles with sin, but they are particularly helpful for this “can be hard to talk about” (but SO common!) one.

If you are uncomfortable talking, encouraging, and lay-counseling about this topic (with your teenage children, adult friends, whomever), I encourage you to check it out. AND consider attending (and sending your church leaders to) the 2009 CCEF National Conference: Sex Matters.

(Fred and I are SO BUMMED that finances won’t allow us to attend this year’s CCEF Conference!)

Like all sin, this one is insidious, destructive, enslaving, and NEEDS to come out of the darkness and into the Light of the Gospel. More of us struggle with this sin than we EVER admit. It’s time to admit it and get help in the church.

God bless you! And Happy Monday–

Yours,
Tara B.

Bye-Bye Green Sophie’s Room! Hello Purple Girls' Room!

(This is a post from TakeYourVitaminZ. Totally cracked me up–BUT, you really only have to watch the first 30 seconds of the video to have a good laugh. I have no idea why they made the video so long.)

"Jennifer and Jim kept getting huge water bills. They knew beyond a doubt that the bills weren’t representative of their actual usage, and no matter how they tried to conserve, the high bills continued.

Although they could see nothing wrong, they had everything checked for leaks or problems: first the water meter, then outdoor pipes, indoor pipes, underground pipes, faucets, toilets, washer, ice maker, etc. – all to no avail.

One day Jim was sick and stayed home in bed, but kept hearing water running downstairs. He finally tore himself from his sick bed to investigate, and stumbled onto the cause of such high water bills.

Apparently this was happening all day long when they were not at home. Knowing that few would believe him, he taped a segment of the ‘problem’ for posterity – see video."

We had a nice, slow start to our Saturday – pancakes by Sophia and Fred, Tic Tac Chess with CarTalk on in the background ... pretty nice, pretty calm.

But then (cue scary music), Fred and I started talking about some money issues and BAM! We were into a hard conversation where it felt like we were no longer friends / on the same team (even though I think that fundamentally we really were very close in our convictions and interests). But old patterns die hard and I was extremely tempted to PULL BACK and “run away” emotionally.

We came to a natural pause in the conversation and I called Sophia down because I had some little educational toys that I had been saving for her, just waiting for a quiet family day at home.

Was I in for a surprise when she came down with a packed bag and sleeping bag on her shoulders! I asked what she was doing and she said:

"Going to a new a home."

“Why?” I asked.

“Because you said that I had to go away while you and dad were having a hard conversation so I’m going away.”

“OK,” I said. “There’s the door.”

Talk about surprising HER! She just looked at me and looked at the door and looked back at me. (This is a HUGE deal in our home because we keep our doors LOCKED and she is NEVER allowed to unlock and open them without express permission from a grownup.)

I indicated with a nod, “Go ahead.”

And she did.

Right out the door in her bare feet and little sundress in 40 degree weather with her beloved Kiki, LoveBunny, two books, and sleeping bag slung over her shoulders.

Of course I NEVER let her out of my sight and I watched her pause on our stoop. Then pause at the end of our sidewalk. Then pause at the end of our driveway.

Once she figured out that I wasn’t coming after her (which, OF COURSE, I would’ve done if she had taken three more steps and moved out of my line of sight), she came BACK inside and we had a good long cuddle and talk.

The bottomline is that I told her that every child gets ONE little “running away” episode like that, but NEVER AGAIN is she to threaten us or run away. This is her HOME and we are her parents and we’re are always going to be together. Always.

I told her that I never let her out of my sight because she is my little girl and it is my duty and my delight to keep her safe. I reminded her that the three of us (and baby in utero!) are a team and NO MATTER WHAT, we work through things. We don’t run away from each other. We don’t give up on each other. We don’t hide or pull back–we persevere because we love one another and we are family.

Thankfully, I also LISTENED to myself throughout this entire conversation and repented of my desire to run away from Fred. And, yes, we’re working through things too. In fact–we’re even tackling a little home remodeling project in that RIGHT NOW, Fred and Sophie are painting the girls' room (no longer just “Sophie’s room”) PURPLE. Pretty cool! I’ll be sure to post pics as they make progress.

With Sophie’s permission, I’m sharing this little story from our morning with the hope that it might encourage you to NOT run away from your difficulties and sufferings (financial, physical, a broken friendship, struggles in your marriage/church/school, whatever your burden) ... but run to GOD and persevere in love for neighbor too.

(And, yes, I’m trying to listen to myself with THAT advice too. )

Back to helping with the purple room (not the painting, of course, but I’m in charge of organizing) –

Yours,
Tara B.

This afternoon, Sophie and I had the joy of stuffing bulletins at our church.

We joined another woman and another family (with three young children) to collate, fold, stuff, and box hundreds of bulletins.

I’m sure this pattern is repeated in thousands of churches every Friday and it’s absolutely no big deal that we do it. But what made me chuckle today was this exchange between the two older girls (Sophia and her dear friend, T.) and me:

"We’re glad to help out, but our arms are getting tired."

“Yes. Yes. I can relate. This is HARD work.”

“Do we have to keep going? It feels like this is NEVER going to get done!”

“Yes, girls, you must persevere. This is what service feels like. It almost always has an element of pain/sacrifice. This is what it means to serve the church. GOOD JOB. Keep going. You can do it.”

And they did.

(I can’t remember if I posted this for you guys in an earlier blog post. But I was looking something up on my laptop and stumbled across the OLD OLD essay I wrote, you know, a zillion years ago and thought it might give you a chuckle or two. Can you believe I was such a little smuggler back when the USSR was still in existence? Life is so strange. And God is so good.)

———————————————————————————————-

Unlikely Smuggler
by Tara Klena Barthel

“What am I doing?” I thought as my mind swirled and my hands began to shake. “I’m only seventeen years old. I’m supposed to start my senior year of high school in a few weeks. I should be home eating a DQ Butterfinger blizzard!” But instead, I was standing in the passport-control line of the Estonia border, my bags stuffed with illegal materials from the underground Christian church.

“If I get caught, they will never give me back my passport. I could be stuck here for weeks, months, maybe even years!”

“What have I done?”

It all began when a Christian missionary music team gave a concert at our local church. I loved accompanying the choirs at my school, and I was passionate for sharing the Gospel. At the encouragement of my church leaders, I auditioned for the team, was accepted, and soon found myself en route to Estonia for a short-term summer missions project.

The year was 1987 and the cold war continued to rage. Estonians longed for their freedom, but the Soviet Union held them tight in the grip of communism. We entered the USSR as tourists and our days were filled with government-sanctioned sightseeing trips. But at night, we snuck out of our hotels and walked long distances in circuitous routes (in case we were followed) to gather in the home churches of the underground Christian Church. Our last night in the country was one that I will remember for the rest of my life.

People of all ages crammed into the tiny apartment to welcome us and share fellowship together. “Thank you for coming.” the pastor, a former drug addict, embraced us all with love and gratitude. “We pray often for contact from the West and we thank God that you are here.”

A young girl, about my age, came and put her arm around me. She spoke only Estonian and Russian, and I spoke neither. How would we communicate? We smiled, pointed up toward heaven and said lovingly “Jesus” and “Jesu” as we held each other’s hands. It was enough. We were sisters in Christ.

As the night wore on, our team leaders shared Bibles, Christian music tapes, and other literature with the church members. We searched for translators to help us pray together. My young friend found a woman who spoke Russian and French, and suddenly my high school French classes became precious to me.

“Je m’appelle Tara.” My name is Tara. The woman translated my words to Russian and my new friend’s eyes lit up and she excitedly responded. “Her name is Tatiana.” I learned that she was in school, like me, and that she had only recently become a Christian, also like me. We prayed together and laughed when we realized that in heaven, we wouldn’t need a translator anymore. One day, we will just sit and talk as we worship the Triune God for all eternity.

As the evening ended, the pastor asked me to come with him and his wife to their backroom. His low voice and steady eyes put me on the alert. What was going on? Why did they want to talk with me?

“Tara, do you understand that one Bible in the USSR can be shared among an entire church and most Christians do not have any Bible study or teaching materials at all?”

“Yes. I’ve heard that.”

“Well, in between the times that we have contact with Christians from the West, we work hard to prepare evangelistic tracts and teaching materials in our languages. We can type manuscripts and record sermon tapes here, but we have no copying or reproduction facilities. We wait until contact is made with Christians from the West, and then we ask them to carry the materials out of the country where they can be reproduced and smuggled back into Estonia. As you can imagine, carrying these materials through customs involves great risk, so we pray and fast for wisdom to know just the right person to carry the materials.”

Fascinating, I thought, but what does this have to do with me?

“Tara, we believe that you are the person to carry these contraband materials for us. Will you take them to our contact in Finland?”

I was in shock. Me? Carry illegal Christian materials from the underground church? What could I say? Numbly, I nodded, put the manuscripts and audiocassettes in my bag, and headed out the door.

At 3 a.m., having not slept in over twenty hours, I was sure that the Russian white night was illumining KGB spies out to get me on every corner of the narrow cobblestone streets. Back in the hotel, I called our team leader and explained what had happened.

“Don’t you think it would be better to split up the materials and give just a few things to each team member?” my voice was fast and unnaturally high-pitched. “Then if one of us got caught, maybe some of the material would get through?” It made perfect sense to me—how rational!

But as we prayed together, we knew what we had to do—I was to carry all of the materials. Alone.

Shaking, I wrapped each illegal item in the gray newspaper that covered my touristy souvenirs and stuffed them deep into my suitcase. “Surely they are not going to unwrap every item. Are they?”

Standing in the customs line the next morning, I kept telling myself, “There’s no way they’ll unwrap everything and find the materials. Just be cool. Relax. Everything will be OK.”

My team leader had asked our sound-guy, Mike, to walk with me. Mike was legally blind and we thought that the guards might take pity on the “disabled guy” and not hassle us. As he held onto my arm, Mike could tell that something was wrong as I began to tremble.

“Mike,” I whispered, “there is a girl just ahead of us in line. She’s about my age and she has a blue backback. Oh no! Mike! They are taking everything out of her backpack, her toiletries, her clothing, and every item in her bag. They’re looking in every pocket and unwrapping every single piece of gray newsprint from each and every souvenir. They are even unstacking her little babushka dolls!”

I wanted to run away. On the dock our new friends were smiling and waving—I wanted to turn to them and hand them my bag and say, “I can’t do this! I don’t want to go to jail!” But I didn’t move. It was as though I was riveted to the ground.

“Tara,” Mike gently said to me, “God is bigger than any Russian guard. Trust Him. He is Emmanuel—God with us. Do not fear.”

“Well,” I thought as we moved up to the guards, “I guess I can tell the people in the Gulag about Jesus. I hope that my family doesn’t worry too much about me. I assume that they’ll be able to get me out of prison one day soon.” Silently, I handed the guard Mike’s passport and my passport. He looked me straight in the eyes, and then looked down at our bags. And then something happened that is forever emblazoned in my heart and mind.

The guard waved his hand, “Go on through.” He did not open one bag. He did not even unzip a zipper and pretend to search the bags. He just waived us through.

“That’ll teach ‘em for messing with God’s army!” Mike whispered as we walked out the door and onto the ferry back to Finland—to freedom.

Once our team reconvened, I learned that each and every other member of my team had been strictly searched—pockets, purses, bags. They had to turn over addresses of friends that they were hoping to stay in touch with from Estonia; they were made to account for missing books (Bibles) and currency that they had when they entered the country.

I was the only person who was not searched. I made the connection with the contact in Finland, turned over the materials, and have never had any further contact with anyone in Finland or Estonia.

But every now and then, I wonder how those dear friends are, and what impact those materials might have had on the proclamation of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I guess I will just have to wait until our family reunion one day in heaven—when no translators will be needed and we will simply revel in the glory of God and His grace poured out on us, His children. Especially that fateful day back in 1987 when a seventeen-year-old high school senior from Morris, Illinois became an unlikely smuggler for God’s army.

Pastor Jollyblogger linked over to this photo essay and, well, through my tears I just had to post it for you too.

Hope your Thursday was a good one —

I enjoyed so many blessings–but I think I may be physically pushing a little too hard this week. (I write that on my way to bring the fourth load of laundry up three flights of stairs.) But I feel no complaint! I’m just trying to figure out how high I might need to just let the piles on my dining room table grow ...

Joy to you,
Tara B.

PS
Please please please use CAUTION and only poke around this photo essay site if you are comfortable with VERY ADULT MATERIAL. Out of curiosity, I clicked through to some of the other essays and honestly? I wish I hadn’t! There are EXTREMELY DISTURBING photos of drug addiction, torture, and disfigurement that I wish I had never seen. But you have to go and intentionally look around to view them. If you only click on the link above and look at that essay, you will not see the other photos.

I started my day today with Joni Eareckson Tada’s Holiness in Hidden Places.

(Well, actually I started my day at 4AM by comforting Sophia after a slightly troubling dream. She couldn’t get back to sleep until 5:00, so we snuggled and chatted in her room. And then I couldn’t get back to sleep until 6:30. It’s now 9AM, she’s STILL sleeping, and I’m feeling VERY strange about starting my day now–kind of like that “what time IS IT” feeling you have when you travel overseas.)

ANYWAY–this hymn was included toward the end of her book and I enjoyed reflecting on the words and then looking online to hear the tune. I thought you might enjoy meditating on it too, so here you are:

Take Time to Be Holy
Words by William Longstaff
Music by George C. Stebbins

Take time to be holy, speak oft with thy Lord;
Abide in Him always, and feed on His Word.
Make friends of God’s children, help those who are weak,
Forgetting in nothing His blessing to seek.

Take time to be holy, the world rushes on;
Spend much time in secret, with Jesus alone.
By looking to Jesus, like Him thou shalt be;
Thy friends in thy conduct His likeness shall see.

Take time to be holy, let Him be thy Guide;
And run not before Him, whatever betide.
In joy or in sorrow, still follow the Lord,
And, looking to Jesus, still trust in His Word.

Take time to be holy, be calm in thy soul,
Each thought and each motive beneath His control.
Thus led by His Spirit to fountains of love,
Thou soon shalt be fitted for service above.

I’m doing a little two week unit study on Orchestras for our co-op and I just wanted to write a quick entry to encourage any of you who have regular contact with children to consider making it a point to introduce them to the wonderful world of classical music.

I’m pretty nerdy in my musical tastes–I don’t know who the cool/hip rock music people are. And I really don’t even know who’s “hot” in Christian music these days. But I do love to have music on in the house and thankfully, Soph seems to enjoy it too.

We usually have classical music playing (if you’re NOT mp3 reluctant/ignorant like me, you can get zillions of pieces online for FREE, but I still use these old things called CDs), but we also like big bands, musicals, simple jazz (remember, I’m SO NOT hip), and quiet Christian/worship songs. I think I own one or two country western albums (trying to get into my new life here as a Montanan) and I like them when I’m in a honky-tonk/proud of the flag/love my family kind of rockin' mood.

I also REALLY love Black chorus music and anything by Jubilant Sykes or Kathleen Battle. Such voices! Simply astounding.

But I don’t think it really matters WHAT your musical tastes are–it just seems to me that it’s a good thing for children to be around music. Any music. To hear, experience, talk about ... I just LOVE it when Soph is playing and a new song comes on and she says to me, “Ummmm. This sounds a little scary. Or sad.” (Dissonant. Minor key. Darker chords. Yup. Sounds scary or sad to me too.) Or the way she just can’t help but JUMP UP and JOIN IN any time “Pick-a-little Talk-a-little / Good night Ladies” comes 'round on our Music Man recording. Hooray for barbershop quartets!

She is also picking up a nice sense of the styles of various composers, thanks to the Classical Kids albums that we put on for background music while she plays. (I particularly like the historical references and the context for the various pieces. They really make the composers come alive and easy to picture in your mind.)

The best way to introduce kids to music, though, is IN PERSON. Take them to concerts. Bring them to recitals at your local college. Yes, teach them to sit quietly and not squirm (and when to clap, what to look for) ... but do a little prep too by listening to the pieces in advance, talking about the various instruments, and then watch them LIGHT UP when the music THAT THEY KNOW begins. It’s just so fun!

There are lots of websites and books out there (just search for terms like children and orchestra or kids and orchestra) – I really enjoy the musical excerpts included with The Story of the Orchestra and the little factoids are fun for a basic introduction to instruments and composers. But there are SO many wonderful things out there to go even deeper too–once your kids are “hooked” and interested.

Even if YOU don’t feel comfortable with any of this, I hope you’ll consider trying to add a little music into the soundtrack of your lives this summer. You can’t fail or do it badly! Just have fun and enjoy.

(Hah! As I wrote that, I thought about how many of you COOKS must think the same thing when I’m irrationally afraid of trying to plan and make a meal. “Just have fun and enjoy, Tara!” "Don’t be afraid. It’s great!" Yeah, right. My chest is tightening in a tiny anxiety attack even just thinking about it. But I have TRIED. We even had a “real” dinner last night (miracle or miracles!) ... pork chops, stuffing, broccoli, applesauce, delicious oranges for dessert. Soph said it felt like Thanksgiving! (See, that’s how many times I pull it together for a real meal. No. No. It’s not that bad. But it may FEEL that bad.) If music–especially classical music–feels even a tiny bit LIKE THAT for you? Please. Don’t give in completely to any fears. Those boxed sets are usually available for pennies at used CD shops (or for free online!), there are LOTS of books and recordings at libraries on all of this, free concerts usually ABOUND in the summer ... and you can learn WITH your kids. That’s how I’m trying to approach cooking. And sewing. Hospitality. Oh, yeah, and, well, pretty much every aspect of my domestic-diva-Tara-life now. I’m learning WITH Sophia. And that’s not a bad thing.)

OK. Time to move into our morning now.

Hope you have a lovely Wednesday!

Yours,
Tara B.

Wow! You don’t want to miss this!

Live Webcast of The Gospel Coalition 2009 National Conference – Entrusted with the Gospel

Many of my favorite preachers (and even a few of my all-time favorite heroes of the faith) are speaking:

- Ajith Fernando
- Tim Keller
- Phil Ryken
- Bryan Chappell
- D. A. Carson

Click through and enjoy (learn! be edified! be called to worship!).

Yours,
Tara B.

Fred and Sophie are really enjoying flying kites on these blustery Spring days. Yesterday, Fred snapped this great one of Sophia on his cell phone:



So fun!

I hope your Monday was a blessed one. I ran and ran the entire day–but even though my feet and back are ACHING right now, it was really a great day. All of my “to ship” orders from my Colorado event are in the mail. I facilitated a baby shower for a dear woman in our church. (Me!? In the KITCHEN for a WOMEN’S thingy at church?! Talk about a fish out of water. But I did my best and that’s all we can ever do, right?) Sophie had fun at violin and gymnastics. My prenatal appointment went very well–Ella Marie seems to be cookin' right along and we’re officially ensconced in the third trimester now, so that’s all very exciting. I also went to Costco, the bank, Fred’s office, the post office–TWICE–the cookie store, K-Mark, and the balloon store–TWICE.

(So I’m really thinking that my insomnia might not win the battle tonight with my exhaustion. Hooray!)

Hope your week is off to a great start–

Yours,
Tara B.

Even though I have flown, on average, 50,000 - 100,000 miles a year for the past twelve years, I still try to remember to put down my reading materials and at least look at the flight attendants when they are doing their pre-flight safety demonstration. I can pretty much do all of the scripts of the major airlines (including the nuanced differences), but it just seems like the respectful and wise thing to give them my attention.

This past weekend, the lead flight attendant on one of my flights ended her announcements with the customary, “If you need our assistance during the flight, ring the attendant call button ...” instruction. But then she added, "And we will be sure to ignore you just like you ignored our announcements right now."

Eek! Most of the customers cringed a little.

Totally reminded me of this old, old essay that went around back in the late 80’s, early 90's:

Funny Things They Say on Airlines

"There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of
this airplane..."

Pilot - "Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am going to
switch the seat belt sign off. Feel free to move about as you wish, but
please stay inside the plane till we land...it’s a bit cold outside, and if
you walk on the wings it affects the flight pattern."

"As you exit the plane, please make sure to sure to gather all of your
belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the
flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses."

After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight
attendant on a Northwest flight announced: "Please take care when opening
the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as h***
everything has shifted."

Part of a Flight Attendant’s arrival announcement: "We’d like to thank you
folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge
to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you’ll
think of us here at USAirways."

Ahhhhhh, the joy of being a frequent flyer.

This past weekend, I had the joy of reflecting on how COMFORTING it can be to meditate on God’s JUSTICE.

Does that sound counterintuitive?
Aren’t we supposed to be afraid of God’s justice?

Not if we are Christians.

You see–the Bible makes it perfectly clear that, for God’s children, His justice and punitive wrath (which we fully deserve!) were completely spent on Christ on the Cross.

God punished His Son. He will not punish us.
We deserve His wrath, but He will not condemn us.

Why? Because God is a Just God.

I deserve death, but instead I get life because the Son of God paid my penalty.
I don’t have to fear God’s condemnation or punishment–He convicts His children, but He never condemns His children.

Why? Because God is a Just God. (Oh, yes, and a MERCIFUL One too!)

This fact is comforting me today.

Grace to you, my friends—

Yours,
Tara B.

Don’t miss two great posts by Jess over at Making Home:

Intimacy is a Step (on a One-Way Street)

Study Your Husband

Like Jess, I wish I had heard (and LISTENED TO!) advice like the first post when I was still single/in my teens and twenties.

And the second post? Well. Let’s just say that I’m a) convicted; and b) grateful for the Cross.

Hope your Friday is a great one!

Yours,
Tara B.

Carolyn McCulley posted to a motherhood series that I’m going to be sure to listen to:

A Call to Intentional Mothering

I had never even HEARD of Holly Elliff before, had you?

Yet again, I’m grateful for Carolyn’s blog.

PS
Be sure to also click over to Tim Challies' FREE STUFF FRIDAYS for a chance to win not only Carolyn’s (AMAZING!) new book, “Radical Womanhood” (I was JUST recommending that book to a group of women again this week), but also four OTHER books. A bundle of five! Hope you win.

Pastor Anyabwile linked to a great article by John Piper that I encourage you to read:

Unity Amid Differences

Thanks for asking, Amy! Yes, Ruth has given me permission to post updates here, so this is my best understanding of how she is doing:

- She had surgery March 10 to remove the most recent tumor from her brain. That surgery took five hours and then there have been many more hours of surgery to repair/rebuild nerves and blood vessels.

- She was recovering pretty well but then, because of a misplaced cart, she had a bad fall in the hospital and her pain level increased exponentially because of an injury to her leg.

- April 2 she went in for some more surgery and was discharged on April 8. On the way home, they were in a car accident that totaled their car that was being towed and damaged their RV (where her sister lives while caring for Ruth during these hospital stays). Thankfully, no one was injured, but now they are dealing with police/insurance/etc. because of the error of the driver who rear ended them.

I think that’s a pretty accurate update. (If I messed anything up, please let me know, Ruth!)

And thanks, everyone, for continuing to pray for our dear friend.

Back to packing (I’m off to Colorado in the morning–last trip until September!)–

Blessings,
Tara B.

I tried to find the permanent link for this “Slice of Infinity” over at RZIM Ministries (because I always prefer to send you to their site with the hope that you will a) sign up for this GREAT e-devotional–the only one I read Mon-Fri; and b) support RZIM Ministries), but for some strange reason, it’s not on their site.

SO ... with the hope that they don’t mind too much, here is the “Slice of Infinity” from today. It is very worth the read!

I think it resonated with me today for a few reasons:

1. I’ve been thinking a lot about life–why we live; what is the purpose; how short life is, etc. etc.

2. Looking ahead at our Spring/Summer schedule, I’m amazed that Memorial Day is right around the corner. (I can’t believe it’s almost May!) And I’ve been meaning to encourage you all–especially if you have young children–to make some sort of military Memorial Day ceremony a part of your “long weekend / BBQ / day off” Monday. Rest is great! But teaching our children respect for the flag, gratitude for the men and women who have sacrificed for our safety and freedom, and the importance of the honoring our veterans is, I believe, more important and way more meaningful. (Plus, our WWII vets are really dying quickly now! So if you want to be able to have your children meet them and thank them and remember them, you have to be intentional NOW. Sophie still talks about the veteran from last year’s Memorial Day ceremony–a WWII vet “who has a bullet INSIDE of him!” Powerful stuff. Makes history and patriotism come alive.)

3. I’ve been thinking a lot about death–the losses that my friends are right now facing; the fact that any of us could face death (our own or someone we love) at any MOMENT; how grateful I am that the end of our physical bodies is not the end.

I hope you enjoy this essay by the brilliant Jill Carratini. And if I can ever find the permalink, I’ll send you over to RZIM for it.

Blessings on your Wednesday!

Yours,
Tara B.

The Last Farewell (by Jill Carratini)

Researchers believe they have come up with a questionnaire that can measure a person’s chances of dying within the next four years. According to one of the test’s designers, it is reported to be roughly 81 percent accurate among those who are 50 years or older. Their report, which was published in the Journal of the American Medical Association, claims the assessment will be useful to doctors in offering prognostic information and to patients who want a more determined look at the future. Regardless of the questionnaire’s effectiveness, however, the headline still strikes me as ironic: “Test Helps You Predict Chances of Dying.”(1) It brings to mind the lines of Emily Dickinson, “Because I could not stop for Death, He kindly stopped for me.” We don’t need a test to tell us our chances of dying.

British statesman and avowed atheist Roy Hattersley writes in the Guardian of a recent experience at a funeral. It was a funeral, he said, which almost converted him to the belief that funeral services–of which he has disapproved for years–ought to be encouraged. His conclusion was forged as he sang the hymns and studied the proclamations of a crowd that seemed sincere: “[T]he church is so much better at staging last farewells than non-believers could ever be.”(2) He continues, “‘Death where is thy sting, grave where is thy victory?’ are stupid questions. But even those of us who do not expect salvation find a note of triumph in the burial service. There could be a godless thanksgiving for and celebration of the life of [whomever]. The music might be much the same. But it would not have the uplifting effect without the magnificent, meaningless, words.”

I had never been to a funeral until I was the seminary intern for a small rural church in Oklahoma. I had attended a visitation once and a few memorial services years earlier, but I had never watched a family move from planning to wake to service to burial, until I assisted more families through the entire funeral process than seemed possible for the tiny congregation. We had more than seven times the number of deaths as we had births in the church that year.

Something happens when you are given the opportunity to be an observer at that many funerals. The reality of the sting of death became like a running commentary on the futility of life and fleeting nature of humanity. “For who knows what is good for a man in life during the few and meaningless days he passes through like a shadow?” asks Solomon. “Surely the people are grass,” writes Isaiah. I had never been more aware of my own transience.

But there was an incredible paradox in this looming experience of death’s repetitive sting. With each new grave came the unnaturalness of the process all over again–a body at the front of the altar, a hole dug deeply, a coffin lowered. Yet as death continued to rear its ugly head in our small community and life stood futile to stop it, the words spoken over the body again and again did not become futile themselves. On the contrary, they grew all the more resounding. I came to realize that our words were not spoken to soften the blow, but rather, to affirm the offense, to acknowledge the sting of death in all of its aberrancy–and to name the one who came to reverse it, having gone through it himself.

We are the only creatures in this world who bury their dead, who speak words over bodies, and take them all the way to the grave. Why does death never cease to seem unnatural even despite the worldview we bring to the funeral? What is it about this spirit that will not stop, that refuses to be reconciled to loss and give death the last word? What is it that makes us cry out to someone or someplace beyond the self? “If only for this life we have hope in Christ,” writes Paul, “we are to be pitied more than all men” (1 Corinthians 15:19).

Hattersley concludes his observations with a comment of which he himself has perhaps not plumbed the depths: “Dull would he be of soul (or the humanist equivalent) who is not moved to tears by the exhortation, ‘He died to make us holy, let us live to make men free.’”(3) Such were the final lines the statesman uttered without meaning at the funeral that moved him.

What if the inherent logic that brings us to the graveside with words and longing hints of a transcendent memory that life was never intended to be cut short and that death can somehow be overcome? What if the last farewell is not the final word? Indeed, what if the words we speak over our dead were never intended to be our own: I am the resurrection and the life. He who comes to me will live, even though he dies.

Jill Carattini is managing editor of A Slice of Infinity at Ravi Zacharias International Ministries in Atlanta, Georgia.

You know you live in a desert when your daughter eagerly asks to play OUTSIDE when it RAINS because, well, it’s just so novel and fun:



And if the child gets to play in the rain, then the puppy surely does too:

(I second Carolyn McCulley’s admonition to NOT miss the final line. Hysterical!)

If you like great music and you like huge surprises, listen to even just the few notes that this woman sings. Talk about a shock. Talk about a goose-bump joy. I loved it and immediately shared it with Fred.

BTW – the baby is kick kick kicking away as I’m typing and I thought I’d mention that we’re playing around with the name Ella Marie.

(Formal name Eleanor Marie Barthel.)

Eleanor is my grandmother’s name. And Marie is my sister’s middle name. I kind of like the pacing of “Ella Marie” and I like that we have nicknames that can end in “a" and ”ie" for both girls. Makes it easy to imagine ...

"Sophie! Ellie! To the car please!"

“Sophia! Ella! Would you please get your coats on?!”

Any thoughts??

Do you ever find yourself tempted to FIGHT when you are on a family vacation that is supposed to be FUN?

Fred and I had a few minutes of that temptation this morning when, on his day off, we started to fall into this TRAP:

Tara: “Fred, how would you like to spend your day off?” (Wanting to bless him.)

Fred: “Oh. I don’t know. What would YOU like?” (Wanting to bless me.)

Tara: “Well, we could hang out at home after gymnastics and violin. Or we could go for a hike. We could be productive or totally relax and just veg out / play games / read. What would YOU like?”

Fred: “Hmmmm. Well. Maybe I’ll run some errands. Or work in the yard. Or I could take Soph to gymnastics. What would YOU like?”

Now, I know that to some of you, it might sound like a pretty lame fight. “Are they arguing about being nice to each other?” BUT, I have to tell you, IT’S NO FUN. And we could’ve gone into quite a little RUT of unpleasantness, but thankfully, we pulled out of it, communicated in a more productive manner, and ended up having a very nice family day.

(By the skin of our chinny chin chin.)

Thank God for grace!

I’m off to make some dinner now–

Yours,
Tara B.

Ahhhhh ... Easter Morning!

Fresh air blowing through the window. (Hooray for NO snow! Those pesky April blizzards sometimes get me a little down.)

A sweet daughter snoozing away in her room. A kind husband snoozing away next to me. A baby kicking away in utero and my Golden Retriever awake at my feet. Yes, yes, I am a blessed woman and I am rightfully embarrassed to think about how often I fail to be grateful.

But of course, I am most grateful that God saved me from my sins and adopted me into His family 24 years ago when I was just about as messed up a teenager as a person could be.

And I am grateful that He put me into His Body–the Church. I am looking forward to corporate worship this morning! I love our church home here in Billings and I can’t wait to hear the sermon and pray and worship with my church family.

BUT ... I have to admit that Easter is one of those church calendar days when I really miss my liturgical “roots.” (Roots in that, “when I got saved / my first few years in the church both in high school and undergrad” historical way.) Because for me? Based on my participation FOR YEARS both as a ringer and then later as a conductor, I think that Easter services (no matter how wonderful) will always be a teeny tiny bit lacking without HANDBELLS.

Yes. Yes. Did you know that I rang? I did and I loved it and I still (a tiny bit) miss it. I loved working hard in an ensemble. I loved learning to work under a conductor (Hi Mrs. Funte!!). I loved playing with the organ and accompanying the congregation. I loved bringing in Bethany on flute for “Silent Night” at Christmas and I just can’t sing “Christ the Lord is Risen Today!” without having a strong urge to do some serious handbell rejoicing.

Sadly (hah!), my circa 1987 videos of Tara-in-80's-BIG HAIR ringing away are all on VHS tapes so I can’t share them with you. But I did find a YouTube video of a lovely handbell choir. I wouldn’t recommend watching the whole thing or anything, but just in case you’re wondering, “What IS a handbell choir?!”, here is a taste:



Hope you enjoy this Blessed Resurrection Day!

Yours,
Tara B.

We’re home and I’m trying console a very weepy Sophia and encourage her that it’s OK to cry when we miss our friends. (She just burst into tears when we walked in the door because she already misses Scout so much.)

I think that the photos from our weekend fun with the Lyndes show why we miss them all ...



Sophie got to spend the morning with Scout’s Kindergarten class.



Decorating eggs is even more fun when you get to wear matching outfits.



We love the Helena carousel!



And the Children’s Museum/Exploration Center.



Time for the Easter egg hunt!



Is it any wonder why we’re all happy–but exhausted?



Thank God for friends!

We made it to the Lynde’s home just before 11PM last night. Here was my view:



(I also got a hilarious movie of Samara singing in the car but promised not to post it. )

Not to be outdone, Samara snapped these pics of my little interview adventure from the t.v. in the green room:



Now we’re into Easter egg fun with the children and looking forward to church this evening. I’ll post more pics later if I can.

Hope you are enjoying this Good Friday. Sophia couldn’t understand why we call the day “good” when the most awful thing of all time–the torture and death of the Son of God–took place on this day. I’m glad she finds the term hard to understand. We’re all looking forward to Resurrection Day!

Yours,
Tara B.

Can’t remember if this is from the Sonship materials or “When People are Big and God is Small” ...

But here are four signs of the fear of man:

1. I want credit for the good I do.
2. I am defensive.
3. I compare myself with others.
4. Reputation fixation—I want my performance to prove my righteousness.

Eek! Makes you grateful for the Cross, eh?

(A little Canadian “eh” thrown in there in honor of my cross-cultural day today. )

Not much time to post today because our family drove from Billings to Townsend (around 4 hours); Fred and Sophie jumped out to hang with Uncle TJ, William, and Scout; Samara jumped in and we road-tripped across the border to Lethbridge, Alberta, Canada (another six hours).

A few things to note about our little adventure:

- Answered prayer with a “yes!” that we made it over the Bozeman Pass in our tiny-little-has-the-engine-of-an-old-lawn-mower car without breaking down. Hooray!

- Answered prayer that they let Samara out of the country with only a driver’s license and a birth certificate (since she didn’t have a passport). Now if they’ll just let her back INTO the country later on today ...

- Sophie is a great little traveler and we played the “A my name is Annie and my husband’s name is Alfred and we come from Alabama with a ship load of Apples, B my name is Brenda and my husband’s name is Burt and we come from Bermuda with a ship load of Bananas” memory game for a LONG time. She was a star (I think she has my sister’s sticky brain for memory stuff) and I tried to have a good attitude and be all cheerful and supportive (because I know that memory games on car rides are good things) BUT ... I did have slight flashbacks to childhood with my photographic memory sister running through all of the states and capitals (I still don’t know them), presidents and vice-presidents (I have no clue, but Soph knows a lot of them), A-Z memory game (I never made it much past “M”), etc. etc. Which might be why ...

- I REALLY HATE LONG CAR RIDES. I want to like them. Kind of like camping (I wanted to be rugged and like the outdoors, etc. etc. but really? I like a NICE, clean, quiet corporate hotel with a great WIFI, concierge, and room service). Even the five hours of uninterrupted conversation with Samara Townsend-to-Lethbridge while WONDERFUL (and the ONLY reason I accepted this little interview request about “Peacemaking Women”), could not really overcome just how much I HATE riding in cars for such long distances.

But all that aside, it really is great to be able to hang with my friend for so many hours and just have rambling, un-rushed, shallow at times and deep at times conversation. Fred says it’s therapy for my soul. He’s probably right. It’s a real grace.

Hope your Wednesday was a blessed one too!

Yours,
Tara B.

Carolyn McCulley continues to be my favorite female blogger and her link to this article is yet another reason why:

The Single Woman and the Modesty of Personal Restraint

My only “complaint” about this article is that it is directed at single women when it seems to me that the principles apply, of course, to EVERYONE. Married women, men, teenagers ... whomever. Read and enjoy!

(And thanks, Carolyn, for your continued ministry to us all.)

Our Tuesday is FLYING by and I have much to do before small group dinner tonight–but what a happy, blessed life we have. Last night as we read about Paul’s conversion and what happened in the subsequent days (especially when Ananias came and shared the gospel with Paul and explained how Jesus was raised from the dead), Sophie said:

"That’s for US too! Jesus was raised from the dead and one day, when we die, WE will be RAISED UP TO HEAVEN too. I just LOVE Easter!"

Amen & Amen!

Sending you my love–

Your friend,
Tara B.

FindingGrace has a sweet gospel-soaked post that I encourage you to read:

Making Mistakes

As our Sunday wore on (and maybe my exhaustion contributed to my emotional state?), I was surprised at how sad I was that Soph missed out on all of the Palm Sunday choir fun.

What a TINY thing in the scope of real life! But there I was, bummed.

Sophie felt almost instantaneously better physically and had a remarkably chipper attitude about the whole thing – especially given the fact that she had practiced the words and sign language for pretty much every single day for a month. So I asked her:

"Sophia, I am really happy that you have such a cheerful attitude about missing out on the Kids' choir this morning. But I’m just wondering WHY you aren’t upset about it. Do you mind telling me?"

To which she replied ...

“Well, I’m really happy that it wasn’t WORSE. I’m really happy that I didn’t get sick DURING the choir up on the stage because that would’ve been really hard and really embarrassing. Plus, I guess God must have had a reason. And I keep singing in my heart ... all things work together for GOOD for those who love GOD!”

(That’s a song that her wonderful Sunday School teachers have taught her.)

I was a) encouraged; and b) convicted by the theology applied to real life of my five year old. (I was still a little sad, though. Just to be honest. But it’s OK to be sad when disappointing things happen! That’s life in a fallen world.) By the end of the day, though, I was thinking more about how happy I was that all of the other children had such a good experience. (AND how happy I was that she hadn’t thrown up DURING the song. )

Hope your Monday is a blessed one! We’re having a quiet day at home (for obvious reasons).

Yours,
Tara B.

Oh, how DIFFERENTLY our Palm Sunday Service experience was–especially when compared with our expectations.

Our day started out with lots of singing and signing by Sophie (the kids are doing “Amazing Grace” in sign language for the children’s choir) and a happy girl in the dress that Grandma Chris made:



But then, just as I was finishing the teaching portion of my estate planning class for Sunday School, Sophie’s teacher brought her to me “because her tummy hurt. Badly.”

So I scooped her up and we tried to make it to the bathroom, but she just kept feeling worse. And then, of course, she threw up. And threw up. Over and over again. We had eaten Strawberries and Blackberries with our breakfasts–so her vomit was a rainbow of colors. All down her brand-new-made-just-for-her-by-Grandma-Chris East dress. All over the church floor.

Oh! Aren’t you SO grateful for friends in moments like these? Fred was already upstairs on stage because he is leading worship today and I HAD to get to the piano in the next FIVE MINUTES or else I’d be letting down Trudy and the entire children’s choir ... but there I had a barfing child who needed me.

So the moms swooped in–helping me get her to a garbage can; another went into the hall and started the clean up; another brought paper towels (wet and dry); another got her water. We tried to get the worst of it off of the dress before it stained. But then I REALLY had to get to the piano, so I asked a friend to please stay with Sophie as she was just lying on two chairs with a strategically placed barf bucket near by.



OH! How I hated to leave her, but I did. I went to the front, played for the choir (with tears in my eyes because Sophie had practiced each song every single day for the last month and was SO excited to serve and sing and do the signing too–but instead she was prone on a bench trying not to get sick again) ... and then I booked out of there to get my darling home.

(Thank God I had the foresight to grab a garbage bag for the 10 minute car ride home or else Fred would be scrubbing our car out this afternoon because she couldn’t even make it home without getting sick. Poor, sweet, darling, dear, love.)

Anyway! We’re home, cleaned up, cuddling in with Kiki and Lili and I’ve been reading her our new mommy/sophie read out loud book, “Wind in the Willows.” No fever–so I’m wondering if it was something she ate.

Not the day we planned. OK to be a little sad/disappointed. But, of course, much to rejoice in too! Because it sure would’ve been MUCH WORSE if the BRIGHT RED AND PURPLE VOMIT had sprayed all over the CHOIR during the actual song up on the stage. ICK!



But I’m still feeling a little sad for my dearie bearie–so I think I’ll go and cuddle in next to her again.

Hope your Sunday was much less eventful!

Your friend,
Tara B.

Here are my notes for today’s “(Actually!) Setting Your House in Order” Sunday School class. We’re tackling the topic of BASIC ESTATE PLANNING:


INTRODUCTION

1. Disclaimers/Goals:

a. It’s been a long time since Tara has practiced law as an estate planning attorney—and even when she was actively licensed: a) it was in Illinois, not Montana; and b) she practiced in a highly specialized area of the law (high net worth/charitable estate planning), not general practice. Therefore …

b. This Sunday School Class is NOT going to provide you with any specific legal advice. Either you will research, prepare, and execute your documentation yourselves (without legal counsel) or you will need to hire an attorney to assist you.

c. That being said, we really hope that these classes on basic estate planning will help you, encourage you, and that by the end of the class semester, those of you who want and need basic estate planning documentation will have what you need to get started and/or make some serious progress on your estate plan.

2.Other Resources:

a. We continue to recommend that each one of you get to know Crown Financial Ministries to help you with all of the financial issues we are covering in this class. In particular, we recommend the workbook, Set Your House in Order, to help you to organize your finances and plan your estate.

b. There is also a plethora of helpful, basic estate planning books available at the library and through any bookseller. If you want to go deeper into these topics, pick one up! The basics are really not that difficult to understand.

c. In addition, just to get us started on these topics, I’ve copied off a bunch of documentation off of the internet that is free / in the public domain and I will be sharing those documents with you in these classes. Please bring this “estate planning packet” back with you to all of our classes on estate planning! I will not have extra copies of documents available at future classes.

3. Biblical Principles: As we progress through these estate planning classes, please brings up questions and ideas related to how biblical principles apply to these topics. We surely do not have all of the answers for you! But in line with our corporate goal of glorifying God in all we do, we truly hope that this class will be a safe environment to consider such things. We’ll get us started along these lines with:

Handout #1: Estate Planning Principles / God’s Perspective on Inheritance

STEPS TO CONSIDER RE: ESTATE PLANNING

1. Consider what basic estate planning is and why estate planning might be important so that you can prayerfully come to your own convictions re: what your goals and intentions are.

Handout #2: Basic Estate Planning Fact Series—Introduction

“Estate planning objectives include arranging for the well-being of your loved ones and yourself while you are living and after your death.” This includes both personal relationships and financial considerations.

Pages 9, 10, 11 help you (and your spouse if you are married) to discuss your goals re: estate planning.

(NOTE: Many of the documents I have copied for you are Ohio State University Fact Sheets so they do not provide state-specific information for Montana.)

2. Understand the “Big Picture” of the four basic estate planning documents (and consider a fifth—The Letter of Instruction):

Handout #3: Basic Estate Planning Documents

3. Think/talk through the common steps to creating an estate plan:

Handout #4: Estate Planning in Montana: Getting Started

- Steps in Estate Planning
- (Page 3) What My Attorney Should Know

4. Take time in the next three weeks to make your estate planning a priority. Read some of the supporting documentation I’ve provided for you—or other resources that you find/purchase. Come back to class with your questions so that we can help you to get ready to either do your own documentation or meet with an attorney.

Handout #5: Why Have a Will?

Handout #6: Why Should I Assign Power of Attorney / Living Wills and Health-Care Proxies / What is a Fiduciary / Who Can Serve as Fiduciaries / How to Choose a Personal Representative / Choosing a Health Care Agent for Your Advance Medical Directive

Handout #7: Letter of Instruction

Handout #8: How to Calculate the Value of Your Gross Estate

Handout #9: (Pages 8 & 9 have a great two-page brief case study/example of the Estate Tax)

Handout #10: Does a Trust Make Sense / Trusts

TARA’S CLOSING THOUGHTS

1. Understand the big picture / basic documents

2. If you have MINOR CHILDREN—don’t delay! (You don’t want the courts deciding this issue. This is especially important if your family members do not share your worldview/convictions.)

3. Know your gross estate value closely enough to determine if you have tax issues and if you do, ALWAYS hire an attorney.

4. Even if you don’t THINK you have “money issues”—consider HOW you are distributing TAX-DEFERRED ASSETS especially if you have charitable intents.

5. It is a MUCH higher likelihood that you or your spouse will become incapacitated. Be sure to plan for DISABILITY (insurance / powers of attorney).

6. This is why your FIDUCIARIES are SO important. Don’t just pick your “oldest son/child”. Read the documentation I’ve given you and THINK/PRAY about it.

7. No matter WHAT—you’ve GOT to start talking about this stuff. With your spouse. With your CHILDREN. With your HEIRS / potential guardians / powers of attorney. It’s awkward, yes, but you have to do it.

8. Don’t be taken in by the “TRUSTS FIX EVERYTHING” advertisements. Read the documentation I’ve provided you and be wise.

9. Regularly REVIEW and UPDATE your estate plan.

We had a relatively strange Saturday ... but a good day, nonetheless.

It started with Fred & Sophie’s (excellent!) Saturday pancake breakfast–a real treat.

And then we headed into two directions:

- Sophie and I went to children’s choir practice for our palm-waving-Palm Sunday service

- Fred headed to the sign-up line for SWIMMING LESSONS for Sophie for the summer

Choir rehearsal was relatively uneventful, save for the utter collapse of the back row of children off of the riser when a boy on the middle row FELL OVER without any warning. Here’s hoping that doesn’t happen on Sunday morning!

But the swimming lesson sign up experience was ABSOLUTELY BIZARRE. One of the strangest things I’ve ever HEARD OF and then, EXPERIENCED myself (when I joined Fred over TWO HOURS after he left home):

- To begin with, this little (obviously) local-owned business does absolutely NOTHING via computer / automation / basic “spreadsheet as the poor man’s programming”. Everything is done on PAPER with a PENCIL in a NOTEBOOK. Everything.

- Thus, you have to physically SHOW UP and get in line to sign up your child for a class / time slot. No big deal, right? Sign-ups started at 1:00 on Saturday. I had heard it was “pretty competitive” to get the class you want, so I asked if Fred could please bring a book and a chair and go at NOON. One hour prior to the start–seems reasonable, doesn’t it?

- Saint Fred bundled up (it was, yes, SNOWING and the line was OUTSIDE), brought a chair, and graciously went to stand in line at noon.

- I assumed that he and I would be done around the same time–1:30, so I called around 1:45 to see if he was home. NOPE. He was BARELY inside the building and the line was very, VERY long still ahead of him. So I dropped off Soph at her playdate and headed to the line to keep him company.

- When I arrived at the location, I had to park BLOCKS AND BLOCKS AWAY and then walk through (literally!) HUNDREDS of people who were snaked around and around the lot and onto the street ... all waiting (in the SNOW!) to try to sign up for swim lessons.

- When I finally found Fred, I learned that there was NOT ONLY this (incredible) line for swim lessons, there was a SEPARATE line for gymnastics class, and THEN, once you survived those two lines, a THIRD LINE to PAY (!!).

Seriously. Have you EVER heard of anything as inefficient as this? It was like a caricature of a Dilbert / MBA ridiculous bottleneck case study. One little 3-ring binder of sheets of paper, penciled-in-forms, OVER AND OVER AGAIN ... one form with the child’s name/age/birthdate/contact information; repeat second form for same class; repeat for gymnastics; repeat for payment ... and EVERY time you brought your little form up, the information was RE-COPIED into yet ANOTHER little 3-ring binder.

Most strangely, I wasn’t even mad (total grace!) because Fred and I were in the zone to work as a team, laugh, and just survive it. And most of the people in the (HUGE) line reacted the same–they couldn’t BELIEVE the inefficiency, but oh well. What are you going to do. There was a lot of (cold/chittering) laughing and visiting FOR THE HOURS AND HOURS of the day.

You may ask why we didn’t just give up or just come back later and take whatever classes were (possibly) still open.

Well ... 1) We really wanted to get Soph some swim lessons and we have heard for years how this place is the best (low student-teacher ratio, really good systems); and 2) With the baby coming in July, if we were going to do lessons this summer, we really needed to get the certain (June) sessions/classes.

So that’s how we spent a long time on Saturday. Pretty strange, eh?

I have SUCH a strong urge to call up the owner and offer – as just a GIFT! – to research an online sign up program for her, implement it, and run it ... just as an anonymous service to the community. Because wow! This was just crazy and I seriously doubt, no matter how great the lessons are, that we would EVER do such a thing again.

Anyway ... hope your Saturday was a blessed one and WAY more efficient than ours –

Yours,
Tara B.

Sophia is extremely excited to join the Billings Youth Orchestra’s Preludio Strings in the Fall and tonight she joined them on stage at the Alberta Bair for one note of “Shark Attack”:



It was so sweet AND such a fun night! We’re very happy that she gets to learn how to work under a maestra in a group setting beginning next fall. Hooray for the Billings Youth Orchestra!

G'nite and God bless–

From your bleary and hoping-to-actually-sleep-tonight friend,
Tara B.

I don’t really know why I’m thinking about old C.S. Lewis quotes on grief and anxiety right now. I actually had a very sweet, domestic-diva-Tara day consisting of a violin lesson for Sophia, a playdate, a trip to the cookie store for a sweet for my sweet, and fun at the once-a-year-circus too:



(Front row on the elephant. Super cool!)

And yet ... and yet ...

Up again after, I’m assuming, one REM cycle – which seems to be my exhausting and pretty annoying habit these days – these were the three quotes from the genius C.S. Lewis that struck me as I’ve sat here reading:

"No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear."

“Part of every misery is, so to speak, the misery’s shadow or reflection: the fact that you don’t merely suffer but have to keep on thinking about the fact that you suffer. I not only live each endless day in grief, but live each day thinking about living each day in grief.”

“Some people feel guilty about their anxieties and regard them as a defect of faith but they are afflictions, not sins. Like all afflictions, they are, if we can so take them, our share in the passion of Christ.”

So true. So true.

As someone who is prone to fear ... (I really appreciated when Ed Welch described himself as a “fear specialist” in his excellent book, Running Scared: Fear, Worry, and the God of Rest. I could relate!) ... I am really praying for wisdom and grace to a) not default to GUILT over fear and anxiety; b) not default to ESCAPISM when that tight-chest-feeling overwhelms me; and c) learn what it means to “share in the passion of Christ” and LIVE LIFE in a fallen world.

Moment by moment. Breath by breath. Grateful, but not enamored with this life. Content, but really? Looking FORWARD with hope and expectation to the next life–when our real life begins.

I hope your Friday is not one of grief or anxiety! But if it is, that even in your suffering, you will have hope.

Your friend,
Tara B.

PS
Sorry I don’t have the citations for these Lewis quotes, but I don’t.

A THREE-PRONGED RESPONSE TO ATTACKS
by Ajith Fernando

How should Christians who are a minority in their land respond when fellow Christians and churches are attacked? I have thought about it a lot because churches are often attacked in Sri Lanka too. One thing is certain—never should our motivation be one of tit-for-tat or revenge. I want to suggest a three-pronged response.

LOVING OUR ENEMIES

We live in a region where the understanding of the concept of honour requires that if someone hits us we must ht back. In some countries the so called “honour killings” are even sometimes ignored by the authorities. This is totally different to the Christian understanding of honour. Paul said: “Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honourable in the sight of all” (Rom. 12:17). In Christianity the honourable thing is not to hit back.

Then there is the fact that Christ has asked us to turn the other cheek (Matt. 5:39). So the general response when we are hurt is to love our enemies. This is a teaching that is repeated over and over again in the Bible (Matt. 5:43, 44; Luke 6:27, 35). We are told, “Bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you” (Luke 6:28 ). Referring specially to persecution, Paul says, “Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them” (Rom. 12:14). Paul says of himself, “When reviled, we bless; when persecuted, we endure” (2 Cor. 4:12b). Peter writing to a church suffering persecution said, “Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing” (1 Pet. 3:9). Note that in this last verse a blessing is promised if we bless our persecutors.

This is a pretty strong case for loving and blessing those who persecute us. I believe the witness of history is that the reaction of Christians to persecution left a strong impression on the persecutors. After painful initial suffering, they left such a powerful impression upon their persecutors so that large numbers of people ended up coming to Christ. This is our dream for our nations. We want large numbers of people to come to Christ. It may seem impossible now, but that is how the conversion of the Roman Empire looked to the small persecuted band of Christians in the first century to whom the passages I quoted above were first written.

When people in our nations get tired of the endless cycle of violence coming from revenge, may they be challenged by seeing Christians refusing to take revenge and loving their enemies. When they get tired of the corruption that is ruining our chances of progress, may they be challenged by seeing Christians willing to suffer loss and taking on poverty because they refuse to break their principles. When people realise that all their wealth has not given them satisfaction may they be challenged by seeing Christians truly happy and contented by living godly lives and realise that the life we have in Christ is the greatest gain (1 Tim. 6:6). Jesus said, “Let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven” (Matt. 5:16). That is our ambition for the church.

Actually the persecuted Christians in the New Testament era looked forward to nothing short of world conquest by Christ. They saw their sufferings as temporary means towards achieving that end. That is how we see our sufferings too. So knowing that Christ is the truth, yearning for our nations to bow their knees to Christ and believing that Christ will conquer the world in the end influences our attitude to persecution.

Of course only a pure church where people truly love God can react this way. The churches in South Asia are anything but pure. This is a much more serious problem than the persecution we are going through. We must pray that God will use this persecution to make our people truly holy which is the biggest need in the church today—a much bigger need that the need to avoid suffering.

SEEKING LEGAL RIGHTS FOR CHRISTIANS

Now that is one side of the coin. The other side is that the Bible shows that the early Christians did all they could to win legitimacy for Christians. In Philippi, when Paul and Silas were released after being unlawfully beaten, they did not meekly leave the prison. They protested that they had been treated like that even though they were Roman citizens (Acts 16:35-39). They wanted it recorded that Christians had been treated in an illegal way. Luke is careful to record that the proconsul in Corinth Gallio who was from a famous family and was a well-known figure in the Roman empire gave a verdict very favourable to the Christians (Acts 18:12-17). The early Christians did all they could to achieve a legitimate legal standing for Christianity and for evangelistic activity.

In the same way today Christians need to use the court system to appeal for our right to practice Christianity. When something illegal is done against Christians we may need to go to the courts to agitate for our rights or against the actions that have harmed Christians. This is so that people are warned against the repercussions of doing it and will think twice before trying it again. In this way we help the whole church, not just ourselves.

If Christians are being denied a basic human right like access to the village burial place, it may be necessary for Christians not to give in when they are stopped from using the cemetery. They may need to grapple with the authorities until permission is granted. This has happened a few times in Sri Lanka.

Sometimes it may be necessary to apply pressure on the authorities by using the pressure of foreign interest groups and governments. It may be necessary to highlight in the press nationally and internationally the injustices meted out to Christians.

Like the great thinkers in the first few centuries (whom we know as apologists), we must produce great thinkers who will devote their energies to producing material in defence of Christian belief and practice. This is a long-term strategy. We need Christian people who will grow in stature to become respected lawyers, politicians, journalists and economists. They can represent Christ to the nation better than we preachers can. This is a long term strategy, but we must be thinking about this and urging people in this direction.

MINISTERING TO THOSE WHO HAVE BEEN ATTACKED

There is a third thing that needs to be done at this time: those affected by the attacks need to be comforted. Physical attacks are very hard to endure. They humiliate the person; they produce fear of another attack; and they can produce severe anger over the way the person’s body or property was violated.

Indeed we have seen people like Stephen who have reacted with wonderful faith when attacked. But my experience has been that some time after the attack people go through all sorts of difficult feelings. They become vulnerable to Satan’s attacks at this time. They could get over-discouraged and lose heart. They could become angry and develop vengeful feelings.

Another need for outside help from Christians is that in times of persecution Christians could act rashly and in an unwise way. Sometimes persecution is triggered by unwise behaviour of Christians when they antagonise others by things that were not necessary to do. An example is having loud worship which disturbs neighbours. Another is unwise ways of distributing material aid to the poor and needy which gives opponents the impression that we are using unethical lures to coerce people into becoming Christians.

This, then, is a time when those who have been attacked need the support of the body of Christ. We need to be close to them and help them regain some balance as they go through different emotional moods. When Peter and John were told for the first time that they must not speak in the name of Christ again, the first thing they did was to go “to their own people” (literal translation) or “to their friends” (ESV; Acts 4:23). If they cannot come to us we must go to them. Leaders must ensure that those who have been attacked are personally ministered to.

So my answer is a three pronged one. Firstly we are committed to radical personal non-retaliation. We will not resort to violence to achieve our ends. Instead we will demonstrate the power of the gospel by exemplary lives. Secondly, we are committed to using the existing structures to present a case for the legitimacy of Christianity. Towards this end we develop strategies that will be effective and leaders who will be qualified in presenting the case for Christianity. Thirdly, we care for those who have been attacked.

May we be faithful at this time.

We had a wonderful appointment with the maternal-fetal specialist today and the ultrasound showed that (as far as we can tell) a perfectly healthy little baby GIRL will be joining our family on Monday, July 27:



(We know the date with that much specificity because we will be having a scheduled c-section.)

Now we just need to sort through lots of teeny-tiny pink baby gear (Soph and me–we like to organize!) and pick a name (Fred’s job–because I think he did such a great job picking “Sophia Grace”!).

Hope your Wednesday is off to a great start, too–

Yours,
Tara B.