considerable grace

Today’s RZIM devotional was particularly on-point for our family given a little situation that arose last night …

The “Slice of Infinity” devotional was on the topic of death. The author, J.M. Njoroge, wrote:

“In spite of the proverbial certainty of death and taxes, the human psyche has always dreamed of discovering loopholes in whatever mechanisms fix the limits. Yet though it might be possible to cheat on one’s taxes, “cheating death” remains a phrase of wishful-thinking applied to incidences of short-lived victories against our own mortality. Eventually, death honors its ignominious appointment with all of us, calling the bluff of the temptation to believe that we are the masters of our own destiny. But despite the universal, empirical verification of its indiscriminate efficiency, we continue to be constantly surprised whenever death strikes. Only a painfully troubled life can be so thoroughly desensitized against its ugliness as to not experience the throbbing agony of the void it creates within us whenever the earthly journey of a loved one comes to an end.

Such a peculiar reaction to an otherwise commonplace occurrence points strongly to the fact that this world is not our home. As Ecclesiastes 3:11 tells us, God has put eternity in our hearts, and therefore the mysterious notion that we are not meant to die is no mere pipe dream: it sounds a clarion call to the eternal destiny of our souls.”

(I encourage you to read the rest of his essay at the RZIM website.)

This topic was timely for us as a family because as we were all cuddling (happily squished together!) in Sophie’s little bed at the end of the day, Sophie challenged me with a statement that I assume every mother has heard at some point:

“You will NEVER leave me, RIGHT MOMMA?!”

It was late, I still needed to pack, and I didn’t REALLY want to tackle such a meaty topic with my inquisitive four-year old, so I tried to deflect:

“I LOVE you, Sophie!”

She was undeterred.

“You will NEVER leave me, RIGHT Momma?! You will ALWAYS be here with me, RIGHT?!?”

She persisted even after a few more rounds of my “I LOVE you, Sophie!” responses, and finally escalated to what she was REALLY thinking about:

“Daddy will die first, right? And THEN you, right Mom? And that won’t be for a long time … RIGHT MOMMA?!?!”

So, of course, I told her the truth: “Sophie, I have no idea when I am going to die or daddy is going to die or you are going to die. BUT THIS I KNOW … we will ALL be OK. We will live together FOREVER in Heaven. God will always take care of us and we don’t have to worry about this at all. I PROMISE you, you will be OK, dear. You will be loved and taken care of and SAFE. For sure. 100%. I promise it.”

Still … her little heart and mind were rolling right along. I could almost see the gears churning away and I waited, wondering if, like the good little lawyer-in-training that she is, she’d follow-up with the question that REALLY needed answering. She did.

“BUT MOM! Who would take care of me if BOTH you and daddy die?!”

And so I told her. “You would go and live with our friends, Mr. and Mrs. Z. and their three boys. They would love you as their own daughter and you would have three brothers who would become your bestest friends. You would have a safe, happy home. You would still get to see all of your beloved grandparents and aunties and uncles and cousins. You would keep learning and growing; you would have a new church and violin teacher and you would be safe and LOVED, honey. I promise it.”

I kept it simple and encouraged her to not dwell on such things because really? We all may live long lives together and daddy and I may be there at her wedding and when her first child is born and we become grandparents, etc. etc.

Still … tears were silently coming down my cheeks just thinking about it all.

Reflecting on all of this on my second of three flights today, I was grateful for many things:

- that we had a will and our guardianship was set (AND that our family members and church leaders know about our will and guardianship directives and support our decisions)
- that we have such dear friends who would be willing to take in our daughter as their own and raise her in Christ with devotion, delight, and faithful love
- that no matter what the future brings, we have had the JOY of four years with this little lamb. I just love her so much!

I guess it’s the estate planning attorney in me that wanted to share all this with you and encourage (beg?!) you all to please make sure your estate planning is SET … especially if you have minor children.

Life is so short! I pray that we will live wisely and that our greatest passion in life will always be for something much bigger than our temporary pleasures. May our hearts will be FIXED on eternity to come! Our True Home.

With love from Momma Lawyer—
Tara B.