Unmediated is Better

I continue to learn from Tim Challies through his book, The Next Generation: Life and Faith After the Digital Explosion.

Chapter 5, “Life in the REAL WORLD (Mediation / Identity)” has had me mulling for days now. In it, he defines “medium” as “something that stands between.” Then he discusses how “medium” is at the root of the word “mediator”, so when we talk about mediation in reference to our communication via digital technology, we are talking about some kind of “device or tool or technology that delivers some kind of data or information. It stands between the one who creates sounds or images and the one who receives them.”

That all made sense to me, but then he pressed on with two thoughts that I can’t shake:

“1. Never before in human history have people lived their lives so thoroughly and consistently mediated as we do today.

2. Mediated contact is a lower form of communication, one that is intended to be a mere supplement to our lives. The best relationships we can have are not those that rely on mediation, but rather the ones that allow for unmediated contact and communication … Face-to-face contact between human beings is inherently richer and better than any mediated contact.“

Of course, this is not to say that a telephone call can’t be rich communication—it can! Even email has its place, as does FaceBook, Twitter, etc.

But unmediated contact is better.

I keep thinking of how my comediators and I through the years have set up every single mediation room … initially, the chairs all point towards us and our flipchart. But if the Lord graciously grants repentance, confession, forgiveness, the rebuilding of trust, fair and honorable negotiations, gradually we turn the chairs away from focusing on the mediators and towards focusing on one another. Face to face. No mediator in-between because we are no longer needed.

Oh! The joy of saying something along the lines of, “We’re just going to step out and get a drink of water. We’ll be right back. You guys keep going.” Because the parties are talking with one another redemptively, respectfully, even lovingly, hopefully (full of hope).

 I’ve also seen this in my own life when real friends have pressed in to make sure I was really OK or that I was getting the help I needed if I was not OK. (And I do the same for them.)

Friends to “have a plan” for how to help one another. And often, the foundation of that “plan” is simply showing up. Face to face. Eye to eye.

Unmediated.

Thanks, Tim Challies. And blessings to you all!

Your friend,
Tara B.

“But this I call to mind,
and therefore I have hope:

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

‘The Lord is my portion,’ says my soul,
‘therefore I will hope in him.’ Lamentations 3:21-24

[A repost from 2011]