Apparently My Daughters Being Able to Sleep is an Idol for Me. Crud.

Well … apparently I have an inappropriately strong (idolatrous) desire that my family NOT be woken up at 6AM by taxi drivers.

I know this because Fred and I tried something new this morning … we gave the ol’ Billings “taxicab” service (and I use those quotation marks intentionally!) a try so that the entire family wouldn’t have to wake up at 5:45AM to take me to the airport.

(We were particularly concerned about sweet Ellie because she was cookin’ with a fever around 101 or 102 after her six-month old shots, poor love.)

Of course, in my (careful? organized? controlling? OCD?) way, I even called the taxi company last night just to BE SURE that no driver would ring a doorbell or knock loudly on a door at 6AM. “Oh, no! We would never do that!”

Uh-huh. OK. Sure.

So why did my pitch-black silent house suddenly fill with a barking dog, crying baby, and bleary-eyed six year-old in response to not ONLY the doorbell being rung (repeatedly!) but also some seriously loud BANGING? Oh, and this wasn’t even at the time I was supposed to be ready (because I would’ve been watching the door). Oh no. This was TEN minutes early (!!).

Nice.

Well … whatever the management problems of this business are (and there appear to be many because in addition to our little challenging start to the day, there was a none-too-pleased businessman in the front seat of my cab who had reserved a ride directly to the airport fifteen minutes BEFORE my time and wasn’t that happy to find himself waiting in some woman’s driveway and sharing the ride) … the REAL problem in this situation was my HEART.

I was very, VERY upset.

Fred? The one left at home, having to deal with the crying baby and tired six year-old? He was gracious and kind and immediately said, “Don’t worry about it, Tara.” (I felt AWFUL that everyone was woken up because of me! Especially because I REALLY did everything I could to have that exact thing NOT happen.)

Apparently, ol’ Steady Freddy does not have an idolatrous heart about this issue.

But the good news in all of this is that I really did keep reminding myself that, yes, this situation revealed an ugly part of my heart and yes, I was called to repent. But also? That God is faithful and just to forgive me (again). That growth in grace is demonstrated not only in our avoiding temptation and NOT sinning … but also in how QUICKLY we run back to God and cry out in faith, “Father! Please forgive me for Jesus’ sake” when we do sin.

So even as I walked through multiple airports and sat on multiple flights, each time I was tempted to look only at myself (and thus, despair!), instead? I begged God to give me the grace to believe what He says is true–that He is the Lord, the Lord, the compassionate and gracious God. Slow to anger, He abounds in love and faithfulness and maintains love to even a wicked, rebellious, sinful woman like me (Exodus 34!).

Oh, alleluia and amen! May it be so. Thank You, God, that it is so.

Off to nighty-night now. Praying for the CE&P team as they do their final prep for this weekend’s conference. May Christ be lifted up and draw us to Himself!

G’nite and God bless,
Tara B.