Are you a “Reconciling Stalker”??

Yesterday, I had a challenging, interesting, and fun email exchange with a woman who was trying to reconcile to a good friend. It had been years since they had even spoken with one another and she was feeling convicted about some of the “logs” in her eye and wondering whether she should contact her estranged friend and make an apology.

One portion of our email exchange was SUCH a blessing to me that I asked for her permission to share it with you (and she said, “Sure!”) so here it is (edited for confidentiality and clarity):

Tara- thanks for writing back- I am very encouraged about things with “Mary”- God reminded me last night how very Great and very Big HE is and how very capable. I have also been struck these last couple of days as to how change is a process. Usually someone presents something hard to you (the hypothetical you, of course) and automatically, it is rejected (remember you were challenged and it was hard) and then you think about it, you hear it again and sometime down the road you realize, “that was truth and so now, I have to change x, y &/ or z to be line with it”. Look at me, I heard truth from you a year ago this week and it has taken me until now to get to the point where I am taking action. I am going to write a letter (to confess my contribution to our conflict). I don’t know what I’ll do after that because I don’t want to be a reconciling stalker so. . . I may be back for some advice.”

Aren’t those some GREAT insights?

First of all — how good to be reminded that change IS a process. The doctrine of progressive sanctification is NOT a doctrine of “quick fixes.” God gives us grace, truth, and redemptive time to grow! Praise His name!

Secondly — Man! Was I convicted by her “reconciling stalker” comment. How many times have I “forced” Fred to have a conversation “right now” because I wanted to be “reconciled” and “make peace” … rather than lovingly and gently giving him time to process and prepare. SO convicting!

I also thought about a former friend who broke off our friendship without any warning and it’s been over seventeen years (!!) since she’s had ANY contact with me. For years I would write her notes confessing my sins and asking for an opportunity to be reconciled to her … but she has never even acknowledged receipt of my letters. I hope I wasn’t a Reconciling Stalker! 🙂

Thank you, friend DL!
And thank YOU, God, for grace to persevere and grow. Amen and amen.