At our best and at our worst …

I received an email yesterday from a woman I “met” through this blog. She was hurting and asked for prayer (what an honor to be asked to pray for her!) and I wrote her back this reply. (I’ve changed the name of course.)

Dear Teri,

I have been praying for you since I read your email—and I’m just so very, very sorry that relationships are so painful for you.

I’d like to actually write something specific and (potentially) encouraging … but I can’t tell from your email what the problem is (other than that you are suffering terribly).

Were I one of the women in your church that you are sharing this with (and I hope you are also seeking the counsel and oversight and help of your husband and pastors too), I would be asking you questions like:

– Are you bitter towards certain women in your church? Are there unresolved conflicts? Who can you turn to for help with (true!) peacemaking?

– Are you just lonely? Do you feel misunderstood and rejected? Why are you so isolated from the women in your church? Are you waiting for THEM to approach you? What steps are YOU taking to develop relationships?

– What ‘topic’ are you reading every book and pamphlet on? Relationships? Conflict? Suffering? Have you learned enough ‘head knowledge’ such that now God is calling you to take a step of faith and ACT on what you know/believe? If so, what is one step you could take today?

– What is ‘like an addiction’ to you? What are you so angry and hurt and disobedient about? (‘If only …’ & ‘All I want is …’)

And then I would (hopefully!) be encouraging to you in practical ways to lay hold of Christ no matter how you answered any of the questions. (And if you were too weak to do so—I pray that I would lay hold of Him for you as I carried you because I know that if I were the one who was crushed and broken, you would do the same for me.)

Oh, sweet Teri …
I know that I am not the friend there to be Jesus with skin on to you—to hold you and let you weep and listen and talk together.
But please know that you are not alone in the world!
And also that you are not unique in WHATEVER you are struggling (even sinning!) about.

We ARE a wretched lot. ALL OF US.
I am the CHIEF SINNER of any Christian I know—black black black heart.
Made white ONLY by the blood of the Lamb. Only.

I do pray for you a friend!
I do pray for you repentance.
 I do pray for you a keen sense of God’s PASSIONATE COMPASSION TOWARDS YOU.
(For it is only His MERCY that ever calls us to Himself and actually enables us to change.)

Look at your WORST, Teri. But just glance there.
(Every look at our hearts, 10 looks at Christ, right? Or else we DESPAIR.)
Then look at your BEST—the aspects of your life that feel ‘together.’

Seriously? Compared to the GLORY OF GOD and HIS PERFECT HOLINESS? Your worst and your best are really not all that far apart.
(Righteousness = filthy rags, right?)

BUT NO MATTER WHAT—God’s grace is towards you because of His SON.
Christ’s record is now your record.
You deserve wrath and God gives you LIFE.
ESPECIALLY when you are at your very, very VERY WORST.

‘At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another. But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life. This is a trustworthy saying …’ Titus 3:3-8a (emphasis added)

Hear the gospel again, Teri!
Repent! Believe!

(And thanks for writing me because you’ve helped me to repent and believe too.)

You are loved loved loved!

Your sister in Christ,
Tara B.