Busy Beyond the Scope of Your Call

God has given me a great gift this summer—the gift of time with a friend. We are working on various projects together, and that is truly enjoyable in and of itself. But far beyond the pleasure of accomplishing something, I am mostly being blessed by our conversation and relationship. She’ll say something and my heart will be comforted. Encouraged. We’ll both talk about a shared weakness or temptation and somehow just normalizing it helps me to repent. (“I thought I was the only one!” Nope.)

As is true of most of life, knowledge is interesting, even captivating, fascinating. But knowledge applied takes place in relationships. So as I am helping my friend with certain areas of learning and living, she is helping me too.

Specifically, she is helping me to think big thoughts about important things—well, important things for our little family, but certainly not “important important” in the eyes of the world.

Our time together is helping me to apply the exceptionally wise and gracious insights of Andi Ashworth as captured in her book, Real Love for Real Life (scroll down the page to see the book for only $10 rather than the $29 it’s going for on Amazon).

Oh, friends. I think I need to start carrying this book at my women’s events—it’s that good. Let me share with you just a few of the things I’m thinking about, and wanting to discuss with Fred, just from my reading this morning. (These are a mix of paraphrases, my thoughts and ideas, and her direct quotes too …):

– Are we busy beyond the scope of our call? Even with good things? If so, we will not have time for people because relationships take time.

– How have we normalized frantic living? Does our typical day have a pattern of continual intensity wherein we are constantly trying to do more? Again, even with “good things”—interesting, God-honoring, “important” things; but not things of first importance: love of God, love of neighbor; and how those two “tasks” are manifested within the sphere of our current calling and duties.

– Relationships are unpredictable, inefficient, and slow. If we value efficiency, speed, control, and quantity over quality—we will never value true, loving, caring, authentic relationships.

– In what ways are we investing in things that are beyond the scope of our current call? This is a particularly important question for those of us who are “idea people.” Ministry ideas, fun ideas … they’re all exciting and full of possibility at their conception. But it takes hours and hours of WORK to make ideas become realities. To what extent are our ideas, even good ideas, exhausting us to the point of weariness and strain such that we are “present but absent” with people? Coasting, coexisting, but failing to offer strong structure, communication, protection … time.

– Like a “work from home job,” life and ministry have no official quitting time, so we can be tempted to work (minister / serve) continually. Before you know it, the people closest to us (including God!) get only our “leftovers.” There is no warmth, communication, intimacy … relationship. No time for spontaneity; not making the time to be deliberate.

– Here’s a quick check on whether you’re overextended: When you are time off, do you just want to HIDE AWAY like a hermit? (Yes.) Is your home frantic, frenetic, and … lifeless? Does your spouse ever get your first fruits, or only just the scraps that are left over of your energy, emotions, time? Are your relationships superficial? Do you have any genuine communion with God Himself?

– How might God be calling you to make terribly hard decisions about important things that you care deeply about so that you can scale back from the overload? Proverbs 23:4 says, “Do not wear yourself out to get rich; have the wisdom to show restraint.” You may not be wearing yourself out to get rich—but are you wearing yourself out for other reasons; things that seem good and right, but are driving you into a workaholic, compulsive lifestyle?

– We can only be truly faithful in a few areas at any given time. What kind of life do we want to have? What choices can we make to move toward it? Where should we focus our energies? What should we let go? What does it look like for us to live out our individual and joint callings intentionally?

– Relationships. Love. Mrs. Ashworth calls it “caregiving” … will not happen if they are not given priority. Love is not efficient. You can’t scratch “love” off of a to-do list. But love is the only true thing of eternal importance. You will not delight to lay your daytimer tasklists at the feet of Jesus one day. You will not savor, drink in, glory in, every little (satisfying!) check mark. Good? Yes! Enjoyable (for some of us)? Absolutely. “But the greatest of these is love …”

Run, don’t walk to get this book (remember to scroll down the page). I think I’ll drop her an email and see if I can buy some in bulk for my events …

Happy, blessed, hopefully NOT frantic Saturday to you!

Your friend,
Tara B.