Redeeming Church Conflicts
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How DARE the pastor say that I shouldn’t take communion! Just because I’m in this big fight with someone in my church? How dare he! (Or. Dare he not?)
I always enjoy Dave’s posts over at our Redeeming Church Conflicts.com site. But this post was particularly challenging and edifying for me: Fencing Over Fights I hope you will click through and read the entire post, but for a quick summary, let me just say that Dave reminds us all of the seriousness of coming to the Lord’s Table in an unworthy manner; especially the warning in Matthew 5:23-24 concerning partaking in corporate worship before making any effort to reconcile broken relationships. He then responds to the people who were, shall we say, not pleased with this “fencing” of the Table when it happened recently at his church. One reason why I think…
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“Don’t worry, Mom. The pastors will come.”
I just arrived in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania after a long day of travel from Montana. Some minor hiccups along the way (including a sincere PTSD reaction to sitting in the same row of a 757 that I was sitting in back in January when the overhead bin popped open—twice!—and heavy bags dropped on my head both times). But all things considered, it was an uneventful day. Most things went just fine. But one thing was remarkably, beautifully, so precious and good. It actually started a little scarily for me … When I picked up a voicemail during my airport sprint in Detroit, I heard a man’s voice introducing himself as the pastor…
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Before You Criticize the Leaders, Besmirch the Fellowship, and Stomp Out of A Church …
As a Christian mediator who works in conflicted churches, it is a normal thing for me to spend hours with people who are disgruntled with their church leadership and members. I’ve listened to furious people and heart-broken people. I’ve taken notes as people shared off of the tops of their heads stories of deep pain and suffering in the church, and I’ve sat, slightly amazed, as church members handed me copies of pages and pages of (dated) notes listing out every single thing wrong with their church. Thinking about these experiences, and mulling over just how easy it can be for us to only share our criticisms and complaints with our church leaders, I…
- Ken Sande - Relational Wisdom 360, Redeeming Church Conflicts, Redemptive Relationships, Relationships & Peacemaking
“Unity is the irresistible witness of the church.” – Ken Sande of RelationalWisdom360
OK … I’m trying to give myself a little grace even though I’ve been quite a FAILURE at blogging “live” from this Peacemaking/Unity Conference … But I have learned a thing or two: 1. It’s hard to blog a conference when you’re SPEAKING during every single workshop slot; and 2. It’s really hard to blog when you’re ASLEEP. 🙂 !! That said … I did want you all to know that I am here and, even though I have received three extremely harsh criticisms amidst a SEA of gospel-infused love, encouragement, and care, all is well! God is helping me to learn from even the graceless criticism and to not fixate on the unkindness,…
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How to Have a Healthy and Vibrant Church
Quite awhile ago, I received an email from a blog-lurker who asked if I had any book recommendations on how to have a healthy, vibrant church that loves one another. My snow delays and misconnected flights yesterday … … gave me the time to (finally!) respond. So here’s the list I came up with (plus a few additions). I’d be curious to hear if you would’ve added other books: – Jonathan Leeman, The Church and the Surprising Offense of God’s Love: Reintroducing the Doctrines of Church Membership and Discipline – Edmund P. Clowney, Living in Christ’s Church – James Thompson, Our Life Together – Bruce Milne, We Belong Together:…
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Loving Those Who Have Failed
“A love for those who are worthy and who come up to our standards is not the thing which Jesus refers to in John 13:34 as characterizing the Christian community and distinguishing it from other social groups. It is agape, the love which stoops to others as Christ stooped to us at the cross, which is to be the expression and mark of the disciple community … it is when the love which we express begins to stoop; when we really begin to love those who are unworthy, those who have failed, those who reject our standards, those to whom we are not naturally attracted, it is then that the…
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God is the party wronged, and yet he sues for peace with us.
I’m not feeling very peacemake-y these days. If I feel anything at all re: certain relationships, it’s pretty much just anger and disappointment. But honestly, I’m so tired and sick of things, that mostly, I don’t feel anything at all. (Not good. I know. Very not good.) But there is hope! Even for weary people like me. Listen to how Thomas Brooks describes it: “Ah! How does the God of peace, by his Spirit and messengers, pursue after peace with poor creatures! God first makes offer of peace to us: ‘We pray you in Christ’s stead, be you reconciled to God’ (2 Corinthians 5:20). God’s grace first kneels to us! God…
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FREE Checklist to Help You Select a Third-Party Church Conflict Consultant
One of the most common questions that Dave Edling and I receive about church conflict has to do with how to evaluate a third-party church conflict consultant. This is such an important topic that we have an entire Appendix on it in our book. And today, we want to give it away for free to you: Redeeming Church Conflict Conclusion and Appendices We hope that it is an encouragement and help to you as you seek to redeem your church or other organizational conflicts. God bless! Dave & Tara
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Hope and Help for Church Conflict
Facebook just reminded me that it was one year ago today that The Gospel Coalition & 9Marks endorsed David Edling’s and my book, “Redeeming Church Conflicts.” What an honor! And even more importantly, what a JOY that so many people facing the misery of church conflict have received biblical hope and practical help. If you haven’t yet read it, you can order the first edition of “Redeeming Church Conflicts” through my website for only $10 with free shipping (within the USA). You can read excerpts from the book and Q&A responses on our website here. A number of our endorsements are listed here. And I’ll close with just a few summary endorsements: Matt…
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Questions to Ask Re: Your Church
TakeYourVitmainZ posted a great set of questions from Timmy Brister that we should all ask re: our churches: If our church would cease to exist in our city, would it be noticed and missed? If all the pastors were tragically killed in a car accident, would the church’s ministry cease or fall apart? If the only possible means of connecting with unbelievers were through the missionary living of our church members, how much would we grow? (I ask this because the early church did not have signs, websites, ads, marketing, etc.) What are the subcultures within the church? Do they attract or detract from the centrality of the gospel and mission…