Redemptive Relationships
- Fear Not!, Hope in Suffering, Redeeming Church Conflicts, Redemptive Relationships, Relationships & Peacemaking, Surviving a Childhood of Neglect and Abuse
Apart from a miracle, a good relationship with this person is probably never going to happen. That’s OK. Grieve it. And LET. IT. GO.
I once received an email from a good friend (let’s call her “Mary”), who wanted to know if I had any ideas for how she could minister to someone in her workplace (a Christian parachurch ministry) who was suffering greatly because of a difficult relationship with her parents. Apparently, this coworker was “terrified” of this relationship (to use her own words); she was “distraught” and “destroyed” over how they treated her. Knowing that some of us have similar difficult relationships in our lives, I thought I would redact the identifying information and share some of my response with you. I hope it is a blessing to you! Sending my love—…
- Hope in Suffering, Redeeming Church Conflicts, Redemptive Relationships, Relationships & Peacemaking
A FREE Women’s Retreat — from our family to you! No travel required. Just grab your Bible, a cup of tea, and if you can–a beautiful view and a REAL (i.e., grace-filled, wise, compassionate, FAITHFUL–friend). And enjoy!
Earlier today, I was poking around some old files and I found all of the audio recordings that I did for the beautiful women of the beautiful Camp Barakel just a few years ago. Since I assume that a few of you, like me, might be struggling a bit with lingering sorrow, heartbreaking confusion, or simple relational pain and loneliness … I thought it might be a good time to review God’s Word, meditate on Truth, grieve as needed, and most of all … be refreshed in Christ, our Savior. Our God. Our Brother and our Friend. And so. Here is a little FREE RETREAT from our family…
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When Peacemaking Causes Conflict
Have you ever tried to “fix” a relationship and “make peace” only to have it backfire in your face in such a terrible way that you really wish you had just left things alone? I have. There is just something so much easier (on the surface at least) and “nicer” about peace-faking. Sure, when we focus on protecting ourselves by denying that conflict exists or pretending that everything is fine—pasting a smile on our face while slamming shut the door of our heart—we know on a deep level that we are not loving because “love makes us vulnerable” (CS Lewis). But the pain of rejection and betrayal from people we…
- Hope in Suffering, Redeeming Church Conflicts, Redemptive Relationships, Relationships & Peacemaking, Surviving a Childhood of Neglect and Abuse
We can’t talk about forgiveness without acknowledging the reality of pain …
I was trying to find the desk in my office the other day (I assume that if I can unearth the desk, there might even be a FLOOR in there somewhere) … and I came across my notes from a Conference I attended years ago. The speakers were wonderfully challenging and comforting (a good combination): – Tim Laniak drew a frighteningly accurate portrait of what happens when shepherding is corrupted and becomes only heavy/crushing accountability or namby-pamby bedside pastoral care. Having spent years living among and studying the Bedouin shepherds, Dr. Laniak has no ‘precious moments’ ceramic figurine portrait of what it means to be a shepherd. Instead, he explained that…
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Are your relationships otiose? (Vain. Ineffective. Of no use.)
Q. How can church-going Christians truly build the “ties that bind” and cultivate “the unity of the Spirit through the bonds of peace?” through intimate, safe, authentic relationships that will persevere through conflict? A. “Where a people prays, there is the church; and where the church is; there is never loneliness.” “It’s much easier for me to imagine a praying murderer, a praying prostitute, than a vain person praying. Nothing is so at odds with prayer as vanity.” These statements begin chapter 5 of the wonderful book I am presently reading: Eric Metaxas’ biography Bonhoeffer. They are taken from a journal entry that the 22 year-old German theologian, Bonhoeffer, wrote…
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There is one among us who loves the antithesis of faith that destructive church conflict is (Rev. 12:9).
Destructive church conflict causes pain … to God. Of course, it causes pain to the people going through the church conflict too. But the pain of the antithesis to our faith is felt most by God. When his eternal children live in the church as if their faith made little or no difference, His warning, “If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other (Gal. 5:15),” is tragically fulfilled. What does it look like when we respond to church conflict with an antithesis to our faith? What can now be seen trumps what is unseen. The temporal is of greater…
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Tim Challies’ Review of Peacemaking Women
Of all the reviews I have received over the years, The Discerning Reader / Tim Challies review of my first book, Peacemaking Women, is one of my favorites. I am honored that he lists this book as “recommended” because I have found the majority of his writings to be Christ-exalting, gospel-centered, biblically-faithful, winsome and WISE. If you’re interested, I hope you’ll check it out. You can also read what other Christian leaders have said about Peacemaking Women on its endorsement page. Here are a few excerpts: Ken Sande: “Peacemaking Women is a life-changing book. It contains a wealth of wisdom and encouragement for women who want to learn how to turn any conflict into an opportunity…
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Church leaders are often afraid of their WOMEN
Wow. Don’t miss this read over at byFaith Magazine: The Session and Women’s Ministry It’s long–but worth the read. I’ll tempt you with just a few excerpts: – How do elders approach women in ministry in their congregations? ‘Men are afraid of women. We’re often content to be at arms’ length from them.’ A prominent PCA pastor says it simply. . … The unease between elders and women’s ministries is not always active. Instead, it can be a function of disconnection. ‘While there are isolated examples of abuse in this relationship, usually it’s much more subtle,’ said Jane Patete, women’s ministries coordinator for the PCA’s Christian Education and Publications…
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Resources Beyond Ourselves
If you’ve been reading this blog for any length of time, you know that Fred and I went through a surprising and frighteningly isolated/lonely/despair-filled season of marriage around our fifteenth wedding anniversary. (I say “surprising” because if you had asked me years ago if we would ever feel so distant from each other and struggle so much in our friendship and marriage, I would’ve said no. When we met and fell in love, during grad school, I don’t think I was naive enough to ever presume that we wouldn’t have some level of struggle and suffering as a couple, I just never thought it would get SO BAD. But it…
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None are unsocial or distant from each other …
From Jonathan Edwards’ sermon, “Heaven: A World of Love”: “There this glorious God is manifested, and shines forth, in full glory, in beams of love. And there this glorious fountain forever flows forth in streams, yea, in rivers of love and delight, and these rivers swell, as it were, to an ocean of love, in which the souls of the ransomed may bathe with the sweetest enjoyment, and their hearts, as it were, be deluged with love!” “In heaven all things shall conspire to promote their love, and give advantage for mutual enjoyment. — There shall be none there to tempt any to dislike or hatred; no busybodies, or malicious…