Relationships & Peacemaking

  • Redeeming Church Conflicts,  Relationships & Peacemaking

    Church conflict often robs us of an accurate, hopeful, God-centered perspective.

    (One of my favorite parts of Redeeming Church Conflicts is the introduction to Section 1: Perspective. I have heard and seen Cap’n Dave minister this message to so many people over the years–especially pastors who were tempted to despair over conflicts in their churches. I hope you enjoy …) SECTION 1: Perspective “I make known the end from the beginning, from ancient times, what is still to come. I say, ‘My purpose will stand, and I will do all that I please.’” Isaiah 46:10 “How do you overcome? You get a breathtaking glimpse of God and the Lamb. You take your eyes off your earthly situation and gaze into heaven and see what true…

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  • Relationships & Peacemaking

    When to Overlook and When to Confront

    Recently, Tim Challies linked to a (great) blog post he wrote back in 2008: Overlooking an Offense In it, he cites Chris Brauns’ Unpacking Forgiveness, which is definitely worth the read on this topic. As is my favorite book to work through if you or someone you love is struggling with bitterness and unforgiveness: Nancy Leigh DeMoss’s Choosing Forgiveness. But of course I can’t think about this topic without specifically remembering one of my favorite questions from one of my blog readers. Ever. I talked about it in this post from 2006: Are You a “Reconciling Stalker”?? And (also of course) my brain automatically hyperlinks to the one modern book that I truly…

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  • Relationships & Peacemaking

    Foundational Peacemaking Principles that I Mentioned on Wellspring Radio Today … (and a Giveaway!)

      What a joy it was to spend an hour with Joanna Weaver of Wellspring Radio! Thank you, Joanna, for the privilege of introducing your listeners to the foundational biblical peacemaking principles of Peacemaker Ministries.     As promised, here are the links to the peacemaking tools we discussed: The Slippery Slope of Conflict The Four G’s The Seven A’s of Confession The Four Promises of Forgiveness (including the Young Peacemaker Four Promises of Forgiveness)   And just because I love introducing people to these foundational principles, our family would like to do a WIN FREE STUFF GIVEAWAY! Here are the details: Leave a comment on this post by 5:00PM (Mtn), Thursday,…

  • Redeeming Church Conflicts,  Relationships & Peacemaking

    When Christians fight, they become either legalistic legalists or legalistic antinomians …

    I think Dave Edling’s post over at our RedeemingChurchConflicts site is brilliant. One of his best writings to date! I encourage you to read and enjoy: 495 Years and a Lot of Conflict Two of my favorite excerpts from the essay: There has been one consistently common thread among all church conflicts. It is best captured by a question: If we are justified before God not by our works but the free grace through the redemption that came by Jesus Christ, why are church conflicts almost always characterized by defensiveness and self-righteousness?   What happens when Christians fight is that they become either legalistic legalists or legalistic antinomians. They defend their…

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  • Relationships & Peacemaking,  Singleness & Marriage

    The Most Peacemaking-y Response in That Exact Moment? Back Off and Give Me Some Time

    Fred and I had a whopper of a fight recently. It was one of those awful cul-de-sac conflicts where even our best efforts to pull out of fighting only wrapped us around even more into deeper, more hurtful, more frustrating exchanges. Finally, I just broke down and wept. I sobbed in a way that I don’t easily or frequently sob. I was literally begging Fred to just stop the fight; to do whatever it took in that moment to relieve me of the crushing hopelessness I was feeling. And Fred, being the kind and loving friend that he is, did just that. He backed off. He recognized that even though…

  • Relationships & Peacemaking

    Conflict (Sometimes) Makes Us Stupid

    When you fly as much as I do, you get very used to the pre-flight boarding pattern of every commercial airline: One hour prior: Gate agent arrives 40 minutes: Mandatory announcements are made and gate-check tags are distributed if needed 30 minutes: First Class/Pre-Boarding or Pre-Boarding/First Class (may vary) Then Elites / exit row Then the lemmings in steerage   I actually find it relatively comforting—the lining up of businesspeople who must get their rollaboards into the overhead space; the confused occasional-only travelers who aren’t quite sure what is going on; the rest of us just trying to survive the jostling. I try to keep my eyes peeled for someone I…

  • Redeeming Church Conflicts,  Relationships & Peacemaking

    Other Things You Can Do Rather Than Fire Your Pastor

    Dave wrote a great post over at RedeemingChurchConflicts.com that I encourage you to check out: Other Things You Can Do Rather Than Fire Your Pastor He  wrote this in response to the (sad) fact that the most common search term for our Redeeming Church Conflict site has always been (and remains) “How to Fire Your Pastor.”  Tragic. 

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