Surviving a Childhood of Neglect and Abuse
- Eulogy for a Bad Mother, Hope in Suffering, How to Love a Mentally Ill Addict, Surviving a Childhood of Neglect and Abuse
“Sometimes even people who care an awful lot have other things on their mind …”
As many of you have known for years (and as I have spoken of publicly only because my mother gave me her express permission to do so), my mother was a recovering alcoholic. “AA” (Alcoholics Anonymous) has been a tremendous evidence of God’s common grace in her life and truly, her closest friends here in Battle Creek, Michigan are friends she and Charlie made through AA. So we are particularly blessed to have their help and creative generosity in planning the service we will share this coming Saturday morning to honor my mother’s memory: An Open Memorial Speaker Meeting in Honor of Kathy Kroncke Ford To be held Saturday, December…
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Recovery from these situations progresses like a nuclear half-life at best …
I breathe a little faster and gasp out prayers every time I read my friend, David Hogue’s, writings on his service to “the least of these” as a fellow Christian attorney. Please listen to his words and then consider getting involved with the CASA (Court-Appointed Special Advocates) organization in your local area: You may not be ready to foster or adopt right now, and you may not know anything about the law or courts or foster care, but that doesn’t mean you can’t help a child who desperately, desperately NEEDS help. Thanks and God bless you! Tara B. PS My children don’t know one whit about any Kardashian and neither…
- Hope in Suffering, Redeeming Church Conflicts, Relationships & Peacemaking, Surviving a Childhood of Neglect and Abuse
Boundaries? Or Wisdom + Love? (Careful! You cannot raise these issues casually.)
Since my current life situation is giving me some SERIOUS temptations to move in the direction of self-protection; and since I KNOW that any level of overly-self-focus is never a good thing, I turned to an oldie but goodie article this evening to help reorient my heart … Ed Welch’s (excellent!) writing on “Boundaries” in the Spring 2004 Journal of Biblical Counseling is a total keeper. I re-read it often and I thought you might enjoy a few of my notes too. Here are just a few highlights: – Even “Christian” books will encourage you to “set a personal boundary” and “just say no.” But is that how we should think about such…
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My Testimony on the “Radio” (available online) March 10-11, 2018
I was just notified that my testimony will be aired again tomorrow and Sunday (March 10-11, 2018) on the “radio.” (What does one even call the “radio” that is on the internet now? I have no idea. But I think you can also listen on actual radios if you have this program in your location.) Here is the online link in case you would like to listen in: Our Daily Bread – Words to Live By – I am His Child ** PLEASE NOTE ** Although my mother and I were completely reconciled before her death, we had some challenging years in there, especially when I was little. (There is a reason…
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People are hoping to find you alive …
I cringed when I read the following poem by my friend and fellow Christian attorney, David Hogue: Traffic Honestly? I had to force myself to finish it because this topic is so horrific that it would take all of my focus in life if I let it. I also had to force myself to not give in to all of my temptations related to excuses for inactivity because this evil is just so overwhelmingly huge that I would constantly close my eyes and turn my head away from it if I gave in to my own devices. Can I stop child trafficking? No. Can I give money every month to…
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Tara — You told me I was nowhere near done reconciling.
I recently received an encouraging note from a real-life friend from grad school. She references a telephone conversation we had years ago, but most of you will, I’m sure, recognize in her story that ALL I did was share with her the exact same love and counsel that a friend had shared with me years ago. Plus, ironically, even though she credits me with this conversation (so apparently I did have it with her), I was actually really REALLY convicted when I read what she wrote! I’m a little lacking in the love department for certain people these days. Oh, I can try to justify it all I want.…
- Child Protection / Abuse in the Church, How to Love a Mentally Ill Addict, Peace Amidst Holiday Strife, Surviving a Childhood of Neglect and Abuse
Family Holidays with Drunks, Addicts, and People Who Do Not Like You
It wasn’t until God saved me as a teenager and I began to be invited into people’s homes and holiday celebrations that I learned first-hand that sometimes, families really liked to gather with one another at the holidays and that sometimes, decorations were lovely; music was redemptive; and food was delicious. (I had read about such things in books as a child, but never had the reality of the experience myself.) My childhood holidays were different. I remember a lot of drunken yelling and slamming of doors and then sitting at an over-done formal table, plastering a smile on for the Polaroid to show how “happy” and “normal” we were. Then everyone scattering…
- Eulogy for a Bad Mother, How to Love a Mentally Ill Addict, Redemptive Relationships, Surviving a Childhood of Neglect and Abuse
Back When I Really Didn’t Care if My Mother Went to Hell
I usually share bits and pieces of my testimony whenever I speak at women’s retreats and conferences. (If you’re curious, you can hear my testimony, a Christmas keynote on “Peace at the Holidays,” and a bunch of other teachings for free on this “FREE AUDIO DOWNLOADS” page of my website.) And afterwards, I am almost always asked the same question: How did you ever START to build a real relationship with your (mentally ill, addict/drunk) mother who (sometimes intentionally but more often than not inadvertently) treated you so neglectfully / abusively / just downright terribly for so many years? I have thought and prayed for YEARS about a blog series on this…
- Hope in Suffering, How to Love a Mentally Ill Addict, Redeeming Church Conflicts, Redemptive Relationships, Relationships & Peacemaking, Surviving a Childhood of Neglect and Abuse
Sticking with People is Frustrating … You Will Suffer Pain if You are Committed to People
What a contrast in articles! The first is what I would charitably characterize as a, well, not very gracious, thoughtful, or helpful article on why every woman should “ditch the guilt” dropping her little baby off with the “professionals” because staying home with young children can “drive you bonkers,” “give you a back problem and a brain ache,” and women “just need more.” (If you’re really interested, you can read it here, but I think there are far better articles “out there” that graciously and intelligently address this important wisdom issue. And I do think it is a wisdom issue—so discernment, humility, and love are required when we talk about…
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The Most Scared I Have Ever Been in my Entire Life
On the drive home from church today, my ten year-old daughter asked me when I was the most scared in my entire life. I thought for a moment and then I replied that the saddest I had ever been was when our second child died on that fateful Easter afternoon in 2007 and then when my best friend, my mother, passed away in 2012. But the most scared? Hmmmm. For that I had to dig back to two childhood memories. The first was when the MCHS (Morris Community High School) principal sent a runner to pull me out of my junior-level physics class because my sister was calling from the University of Chicago, frantic, because…