Surviving a Childhood of Neglect and Abuse
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Trauma, Anxiety, and Hope
If we don’t interact in real life or on Facebook, you may be slightly concerned about me, since I am currently not blogging on a regular basis. Please don’t worry about me! 🙂 I am doing very well, but just busy writing for publication, preparing for my busy fall speaking season, and living real life. If you are in search of a few things to read, I highly recommend these two articles. The first one has stuck a particularly strong note with my Facebook followers—and, yes, with me. (As always, I am only recommending things that helped me. A lot.) Childhood Trauma Leads to Lifelong Chronic Illness: So why isn’t the medical community helping…
- Eulogy for a Bad Mother, Grace in Daily Life, Hope in Suffering, Surviving a Childhood of Neglect and Abuse
Your Childhood Does Not Determine Your Life
This past weekend, Fred and I had more time than usual to just talk and visit. It was such a grace to me because I am currently so tired—tired to my bones tired (physically); tired and weeping a lot (emotionally) … intellectually, relationally … spent. So listening to Fred tell me new stories from his childhood—and replaying various moments from our courtship and falling in love season of life? Well. It was sweet and I am grateful. I am also grateful for just how much all of our discussions reminded me of the truth that I could never have experienced (almost!) twenty years of marriage and friendship and love with…
- Eulogy for a Bad Mother, How to Love a Mentally Ill Addict, Perfectionism & Shame, Sin & Repentance, Surviving a Childhood of Neglect and Abuse
Sane Faith in the Insanity of Life (David Powlison)
I’m rereading some of my old CCEF Journal of Biblical Counseling articles (on good old fashioned paper) and I’m also beginning to get acquainted with their online library. This classic series from David Powlison is on the CCEF website and I encourage you to slowly read and process it, especially if, like me, you are convicted that some areas of your life are in need of serious change: Sane Faith in the Insanity of Life In it, he discusses five people struggling with various challenges in life: “Each of these five stories describes a person who needs help in order to face up, to deal, to change. But these people…
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The moment I probably came within four feet of being a sex trafficked teenager …
Recently, my dear friend Ellen Dykas put up a link on Facebook that rocketed me back to the early 1980’s. The article she pointed to was all about how young women become sex trafficking victims and it specifically explained to the targeted way that pimps hunt for young girls at bus stations. Well. When I was a very young teenager. (Junior high? Maybe 13 or 14?) My mother put me on an overnight bus from Illinois to Arkansas and I have no doubt that, in addition to being molested by a dirty, disheveled, drunken man (whom I, in my naivete, just thought was being nice to me when he offered me food), I probably came within…
- Hope in Suffering, How to Love a Mentally Ill Addict, Peace Amidst Holiday Strife, Surviving a Childhood of Neglect and Abuse
HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS WHEN HOME ISN’T SAFE (PART 1) – by Dan Doriani
I have always admired and enjoyed Dr. Dan Doriani. But I didn’t know this part of his life story until I read it on the Gospel Coalition’s website this past week. This is worth the read, my friends: Home for the Holidays When Home Isn’t Safe (Part 1)
- Child Protection / Abuse in the Church, Hope in Suffering, Surviving a Childhood of Neglect and Abuse, Trauma Recovery
On Being Assaulted
If you have ever read my “Child Protection First / Abuse in the Church” posts, then you know that I have strong convictions about our duties to keep our children as safe as possible. Some of this is based on the sad reality of my childhood (“I Do Not Have One Childhood Memory Apart from P*rnography”). Some of this is based on the fact that when I oversaw all of the Christian conciliation cases and church/organizational conflicts at Peacemaker Ministries, I learned that far, far too many churches are far, far too trusting when it comes to nursery workers and youth volunteers (“Are you still closing your eyes to the real risk of child…
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Does the Neglect and Abuse of Your Childhood Sometimes Still Jump Up and Surprise You (Even as an Adult, Christian Woman)?
Recently, a dear friend of mine wept silent streams of tears as she learned a little bit more about my childhood and some of the suffering I experienced in my family of origin. This is not a topic I talk about often, but when I do, it does not currently hurt me. It did at first. The ache; the ripping open of my chest as though I would die; the hot feeling of acid on every inch of my skin and the acute, instinctual reaction to pull back from every single person? I felt it all as a young adult when I first started to look back, acknowledge what had happened to…