Forgiving even your husband’s murderer? (Forgiving “just as in Christ, you have been forgiven …”?)
The call to forgive is found throughout the Old and New Testament. Consider just a few examples:
“Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” Ephesians 4:31-32
“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” Colossians 3:12-13
“Then Peter came up and said to him, ‘Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?’ Jesus said to him, ‘I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven.'” Matthew 18:21-22
I could go on and on. But knowing what we OUGHT to do (“Forgive!”) doesn’t ever enable us to actually DO IT, does it?
When that person hurts us. Again.
Lets us down. Again.
Fails us. Again.
Who wants to love? Who wants to forgive? “Not I,” said the little red hen.
Me neither. Nope. No way. No thanks. I’m outta here—at least emotionally if not physically too.
But then …
But then …
Let us return to the Creator of everything that ever was and is and will be.
Eternal. Infinite. Unchangeable. Only He.
Perfectly wise, powerful, holy, just, good, and true in His being.
(Can you tell we’ve moved on to the Shorter Catechism with Soph? 😉 )
Needing nothing, He chooses to initiate and maintain a relationship with us—while we were yet sinner.
His enemies. Hating Him. (Or indifferent to Him entirely. Indifference: the real indicator of true hatred.)
He forgives us—not once. Twice. Three times. But seven times seventy times seventy bazillion.
Over and over and over again.
(There were two men who owed a debt they could never pay …)
It’s all just interesting theology until you take it out of the book
off the shelf
and have to live it out with that family member who gives you nothing but grief; the one whose absence from your life would actually make your life EASIER and more PLEASANT …
But who God is calling you to love (when she is unlovable—just like you!)
bless (“bless and never curse”);
do good
pray for
Submitting yourself under God’s mighty hand
Trusting HIM
And “not being overcome by evil, but overcoming evil with good” (Romans 12).
Impossible? You bet.
(In and of our own strength.)
(If we focus on ourselves and the injustice of the situation.)
But possible? To forgive? Absolutely.
Because we all were like sheep, gone astray. Each to our own way.
But God, who is rich in mercy, sought us out. Softened our stony hearts.
Did not leave us in our predicament (as we deserved).
He made us alive with Himself in Christ.
He brought us over from darkness into light.
He seated us in the heavens and adopted us as sons.
We, his enemies once.
Now his children who often live like angry, bitter, ungrateful orphans.
But He remains the same. He doesn’t change. He maintains the covenant on our behalf.
He forgives and forgives and forgives.
Because it is His nature to forgive AND because the penalty has already been paid.
And so?
In response to so great a mystery?
Such mercy?
We forgive.
Just as the Lord has forgiven us.
Challies.com linked to a powerful example of one woman striving to live out this call to forgive when her husband was killed in the line of duty as a police officer:
Widow Urges Forgiveness for Fallen Officer
“God has freely offered us forgiveness,” she said at the packed sports arena where her husband coached their three sons in hockey. “To the best of my human ability, with God’s help, I will offer it as well. My hope and my prayer is that all of you will do the same. I know it’s what Vu would have wanted.”
Amen.
And totally impossible!
Unless the Lord makes a way …
I pray that today, we will walk each moment as forgiven people who forgive.
Blessings to you!
Your friend,
Tara B.
PS
If you are struggling with bitterness, Nancy Leigh DeMoss’s book, Choosing Forgiveness, may be a help to you. It deeply helped me during a season of my life when I was very hurt and tempted to give in to bitterness and even indifference (the “real indicator of true hatred” as Ed Welch says—when bitterness goes ’round the corner and we just don’t care any more).