Frank and Open Discussions About S*X

Years ago, a woman in our church and I have held Sunday morning “discussion times” with some of the teen and young adult women in our church. My co-teacher did an amazing job of summarizing and presenting all three years of the Susan Hunt curriculum for teens during our classes last year.

This summer, we wanted to go even deeper into concepts related to biblical womanhood, so I created handouts and homework each week around the following topics:

– Women as Courageous Leaders (trusting God and using our gifts in the home, church, workplace, and community) with a specific focus on formal education money/debt, career, marriage goals / infertility issues. Egalitarianism vs. Complementarianism. Feminism vs. Radical Feminism.

– Covenant Relationships Among Women in the Church (Titus 2 / spiritual mothering / and how relationships often really are / biblical peacemaking/slippery slope; sarcasm/gossip; inclusion/peer pressure)

– E-Living: Online Life and Long-Distance E-Relationships (what is wise and appropriate re: Facebook, Twitter, relationships via cell-phone/texting/email etc.)

– Duplicitous Living (acting like a Christian in certain situations but not others). End with a vision of united living / consistency in private and public living.

– Romantic Relationships / the Power of Eros (and the greater power of the gospel re: purity of thought and action)

That last topic was so important that we added an evening session at a private home to continue the discussion and WOW. I was simply amazed at how God gave us the courage to talk openly about really personal, sometimes embarrassing, but extremely important things related to s*x.

Oh! Did we laugh. And Oh! Were there quiet moments of slightly awkward silences after I had broached certain topics (often with a cautionary example from my covered-by-grace-but-still-to-be-avoided choices as a young woman).

 I was praying hard as I drove home from our time together. I was so happy! And SO exhausted. My prayers went something like this:

I pray that these dear young women KNOW that they are not alone in thinking certain thoughts and struggling with certain temptations. I pray that they always remember that they can talk with me or another adult about ANYTHING. At ANY time. And we will love them; love love LOVE them; and pray for them and cheer them on and comfort them.

And most of all, I PRAY that they observe enthusiasm and happiness and HOPEFULNESS in us re: God and s*x and purity as they navigate their teen years and twenties and for the entire length of their lives.

I just don’t think there are words enough to describe how much I admire and care for these young women. And how honored I am that they would spend time with me and help me as a woman and help my entire family (especially as Fred and I raise two young women)! Grace upon grace.

I am going to bed so very grateful this evening—

Hope your day was a blessed one too!

Your friend,
Tara B.

[A re-post from 2011]