Grace For Those Who Hurt Us?

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how hard it is to give grace to people, especially Christians, who hurt us. I see this in my own heart and it (rightfully) shames me.

Why is it that I can share the gospel of grace with unbelievers, with family members who hurt and reject me for decades, and with strangers … but when it comes to that sister in Christ, or that pastor—the one who has hurt me and “repented,” but our relationship is still strained … why do I struggle to live grace, acceptance, genuine kindness, mercy, and love to them?

-Is it because I want them to hurt like they’ve hurt me?
-Am I waiting for a “better” confession? A more sincere (in my eyes) evidence of repentance?
-Do I think they “just don’t get it”—and until they do (i.e., until they really understand just how much they’ve hurt me!), I am going to sinfully withhold my love and the ministration of grace to them?

(Why? Because they don’t deserve it? Isn’t that the entire thing with grace? Undeserved by us—but eternally deserved by Christ?! Oh yeah, He deserved grace and took on the wrath that I deserve!)

Oh, this Christian life is difficult. Nay, impossible.

Apart from grace.

Dear Lord, please help us all to be so filled to overflowing with the amazing truth of Your grace towards sinners like us, that we would grant that grace to those who reject, betray, abandon, mistreat, and fail us. For your sake and for your glory, I pray! Amen.

‘At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another. But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life.’ Titus 3:3-7