I Am a Horrible Person!

Last night I was crushed by my own sins and inadequacies. As Fred and I went to bed, I kept repeating to him, ‘I am a horrible person! I am. I really am. I am just a rotten, horrible person.’ And I felt it. Reflecting on my day—all of the times I was tempted to hold a grudge, the ways I should have been more disciplined and wasn’t, how scared I was at the thought of tackling some big projects before me (where is my faith??)—I was just disgusted. And sad.

‘I am such a horrible person!’ I cried out—over and over again.

How did Fred respond? Did he say, “No you’re not, Tara’?

Nope!

Did he rebuke me? ‘Come on, Tara! Stop being such a drama queen. Get it together. Remember all of that stuff you write and teach on all the time. Don’t you believe any of it? Are you a complete and utter fraud?’

Thank God … Nope!

He simply responded to my despair by telling me the gospel. Again. ‘Isn’t it wonderful that God is such a good God?’

Yes. Yes. Yes it is.

I am so often a horrible, horrible person. But God is forever a good God. Gracious. Forgiving. Merciful. Long-suffering. Patient. Kind. Faithful to unfaithful adopted children like me.

‘Come, let us talk this over, says the Lord; no matter how deep the stain of your sins, I can take it out and make you as clean as freshly fallen snow. Even if you are stained as red as crimson, I can make you white as wool.’ Isaiah 1:18