If I forgive them …

Tonight Fred and I were talking (again) about my struggle to forgive some people who have hurt me.

At one point during the conversation, I asked him, “But if I forgive them, then won’t I be giving up the one thing I have on them?” “What do you mean?” Fred asked. “Well, I can’t hurt them like they’ve hurt me or restore what was taken from me (I don’t have the power, resources, or authority to do so). I can’t make them understand the depth of suffering they’ve caused me and cause them to grow in compassion and love. I can’t force them to change or grow or help me during my times of desperate need.

The one thing I have on them is this … I can withhold myself from them.” That’s it — that’s my ace in the hole, my one card to play.

So I continued, “And if I truly forgive them and allow them to enter into my life and heart again … allow myself to have real relationship with them … pray for God’s blessings on them … then what do I have?”

And Fred, my wise, compassionate, gracious, loving husband (whose birthday is today!) replied, “Tara, then you will be living out the grace you have lavishly received and giving that grace to them. You will be praying for those who mistreat you. You will have the blessings of obedience.”

May God grant me the grace to obey all His commands!

‘As Jesus was saying these things, a woman in the crowd called out, “Blessed is the mother who gave you birth and nursed you.” He replied, “Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and obey it.” Luke 11:27-28