Long Conversations

I’m processing through my notes from Ajith Fernando’s Reclaiming Friendship: Relating to Each Other in a Frenzied World and I am a) inspired to keep striving to be a better friend; and b) grateful, grateful, grateful for the women in my life who have pressed through all of the difficulties associated with being a friend to me—and have loved me with grace.

A few random notes from my reading …

– Most of us don’t seem to have time for long conversations … and yet, Christian truth has a qualitative and experiential aspect to it. Truth can be enjoyed only if we are willing to linger with it, to ask what its implications are, to ask how it should influence our thinking and acting. It is through enriching discussions that we rediscover the joy of truth. We need to bring long chats back into our schedules, allowing significant slots of time for truth-related discussions.

– But for most of us? We are too restless to linger. We are not silent before God. We don’t meditate on truth. Thus, we don’t know what it is to spend long periods of conversation with friends. Letting long conversations eat into your schedule entails sacrifice; that is how friendships are forged.

– It is good to know that there are some people who will accept us for what we are and in whose presence we can let our hair down, be ourselves, and talk about things that really matter to us. The Greek word homothumadon appears in the book of Acts to describe the life of the early church: of one mind, of one accord, as one man, ‘together’, a group of people knit together by a common purpose, a uniting passion (Acts 1:14, 2:46, 4:24, 5:12). Different personalities (passionate people—sparks can fly!), but united.

– All human friendships are limited in their scope and reliability. Our most important relationships must always be with God.
Putting God first strengthens human relationships. This is the foundation for a stable relationship. We expect total goodness from God alone, so we are secure people. We do not try to grab our security from other people. Yes, we have reasonable expectations about our relationships; but we don’t try to grab from fallible people what we can get from God alone—–an absolute perfection and personal security.

– Secure in God? You can risk loving others. You may be rejected. Your friend may fail and disappoint you. But we have the strength to go on because our earthly relationships are not the most important things in life. Nothing can separate us from the love of Christ. We can handle the battering that comes from the disappointments of earthly love.

– God is our comforting friend! He knows what it is like to be betrayed by a friend; to have people in whom we have placed trust fail us. We can grieve without bitterness because the most important thing about our lives is still intact. You are loved by God. Even in your pain, there is a brightness in you that Love alone can give. Run to Jesus! He understands your suffering and the pain of betrayal; but He will never betray you. Lean on Him. Grieve. Release your bitterness as you cast all of your burdens on Him. This will heal you.