So what do you do when …

Let’s pretend that it’s the week before Christmas and you are gingerly stepping out of your comfort zone to try to be hospitable and relational by having people over to your home.

You do your best. You strive to bless. But it’s a little shaky — you try to be relaxed and happy, but you really have no confidence that you CAN love well.

The morning of the “weekend of three parties,” you are falsely and unjustly accused. And you know that the accusation has been broadcasted to others. And no matter how sorry the person may be, your reputation has taken a hit.

THEN you open up your email and find a challenging email. This person was obviously very hurt by you and is very angry at you to this day.

THEN another day comes and you get ANOTHER email from someone who is angry and bitter and chooses to direct a portion of her grief and rage at you.

You try to respond graciously. Lovingly. Gently.

You strive to a) remember the gospel yourself; and b) encourage each of these people to lay hold of the great and precious promises of Christ too.

But then what? What do you do?

Here are some of the things I’ve been tempted to do …

– Quit. Get out of the biz as it were. No more teaching, writing, conciliating, conflict coaching, serving. Run away. Close the door. Sit very still in a dark room under a warm blanket and try not to do or say anything that will only enflame people to judge, criticize, despise, attack, and hate you more. Give up on love. Give up on life.

– Eat. Yes — it’s true. I continue to struggle with the sin of gluttony. And my habitual, ruling lust of FOOD often tries to rear its ugly head when I am attacked. (But thankfully–a true evidence of grace!–somehow, even the temporal pleasure of cookie dough neither satisfies nor calms my troubled soul.)

– Cry. I’m tempted to cry, but I don’t do it. Not yet anyway. I think I’m still stuck in my survival mode. All of these criticisms tapping into the mother-of-all-criticisms that continues to reside in my Old Man: Tara, you are bad. You are unloving. You are cold and heartless and you don’t know how to have good relationships. You fail as a friend and you fail as a person. You are so cold and unloving and bad that we don’t want you around here! Go away. Get out. You are not welcome here because you will never change. Not really. Because who YOU ARE is fundamental–it’s YOU. And you are unacceptable.”

So what do you do? In light of hurts, rejection, accusations, and graceless confrontation … what do you do? Where do you run?

HOME.

I run home. Home.
 To the One Place where I am fully known and fully loved.
All of my darkness–dealt with forever on the Cross of Christ.
All of my beauty–a mere reflection of True Beauty.
Each harsh criticism and cutting word–covered.
Every gentle hug and merciful friend–shadows of my real Home.

Never again misunderstood or misjudged.
Never kicked out or abandoned.
Wanted. Cherished. Loved.

Home.

How I pray that as we go throughout our Christmas week — and every day! — we will remember that Christ left Heaven for us. He left Home to rescue us. Falsely accused. Rejected. Abandoned. Attacked. So that we might never be homeless again.

Thank You, God, for the Incarnation!
Thank You, God, for giving Your children a Home. Forever.
Amen.