Striving to FEEL More Loving by ACTING More Loving (Faking? Faith?)

Fred and I continue to muddle our way through that exhausting and challenging-for-marriages season of life called “parenting small children.”

Of course we love our girls! And deep down, we know that we love one another. But lately, it’s sure been hard to FEEL very loving toward each other. We’re sort of in some communication ruts that lend themselves to misunderstandings, hurts, and the easy-to-fall-into fight or flight responses to conflict.

No fun.

So this week, I said to Fred:

“I have an idea. How about if we just FAKE IT for one week. You know. Act toward each other like we USED to act toward each other—all lovey-dovey, best-friendy, in-lovey. Maybe that will help us to get out of these ruts and FEEL those things again?”

To which Fred replied something along the lines of, “Sounds good. Sounds like FAITH. Let’s just act in faith, in a loving manner, towards one another.”

(I thought to myself, “Potato. Pah-tah-to. Tomato. To-mah-toh. You say faith. I’ll say FAKIN’ IT. But OK. Sounds good. Let’s give it a shot.”)

And it has helped. I think my suggestion was based on some CCEF author who said in some brilliant CCEF book/article (nice cite, eh?) something along the lines of:
 

So that’s what we’re trying to do.

No. Things haven’t been easy or perfect. But we’re trying! In faith. (In fake? Nah. In faith.)

Here’s to a more loving Friday!

Yours,
Tara B.