Such a Good Thing that God’s Kindness Does Not Depend on my Faith

Today I received some relatively scary news for our family. (I hesitate to use the term “scary” because a) it wasn’t a diagnosis of fatal disease or the loss of a loved one; and b) my coauthor, Dave Edling, hated that word and always called me on it whenever I accidentally used it in our work on Redeeming Church Conflicts. I believe his exact words were, “I only use the word scary when I’m reading a nighttime story to my grandchildren.” Hah. I guess that’s what active deployment in two wars AND 20 years as a pastor will prepare you for.)

Nevertheless, my heart raced. My mind began to spin. I felt that throat-tightening panic sense growing deep within me. So I did what comes naturally—I started to worry.

Worry is such a tempting thing, isn’t it? It FEELS like we are accomplishing something. It FEELS like we are actually controlling uncontrollable things; affecting the outcome; taking care of things we obviously care about. And yet. What does worry gain us? Nothing good. Nothing helpful.

And so THEN I actually did something that DOESN’T come naturally to me. I prayed. I did. I prayed and I asked God for help, provision, and wisdom. And I prayed that a complete stranger (an event host for one of my 2012 events—all of this is tied to a miscommunication related to an event) might be merciful to me when I approached her.

Guess what? She was! I would have been grateful to simply have not upset her. I would have been thrilled if she were merely understanding and kind, even if the substantive concern could not be helped or fixed. But then. I read her email (sort of cringing in a self-protective stance, ready for bad news, trying to prepare for the worst) … and all was well. It was. Not just because she is apparently a very kind woman—but also because her husband is apparently a very kind man and he immediately supported her in figuring out a way for everything to be OK, even to their own family’s detriment.

Such grace. Such provision. It’s a bit overwhelming and very embarrassing as I reflect on the fact that I prayed for God’s help but I really didn’t believe things would work out well. OK. OK. I believed that no matter what, we would get through it. We would never break a commitment to an event. Somehow, God would provide. But an overwhelming display of kindness from one woman? One family? Well. It was beyond my expectation and even my hopes.

I am a grateful woman. I am particularly grateful that my faith is never the measure of God’s mercy to me. If it were, I would be sunk. I am often faithless! But He is ever faithful. No matter what.

Good advice, that ol’ Matthew 6:34: Jesus says, “Do not worry.”

Amen and amen.

Hope your Sabbath is restful one! Both girls are home sick with high fevers and a chesty cough, so we’re taking it easy with Valentine creations and marble run elevators and a re-read of all of our Christmas cards.

Blessings,
Tara B.