Tara, You Can’t Grade Your Own Report Card

Back in grad school, I once had the privilege of serving a wonderful pastor who was beginning a new ministry. Fred and I respected this man greatly and was thrilled to get to work for him. I remember one day he said to me, “Tara, you don’t get to grade your own report card. Let Freddy and I do that.”

He said this because he observed me being very down on myself. Very self-critical. Always seeing the worst in me, my failings, my weaknesses, my horribleness—never giving myself a break as it were. He wanted to encourage me to think more rightly about myself.

(Not to dismiss our total depravity, of course, and our desperate need of The Savior! But just to have a more accurate view of my heart and life.)

Then I remember a time over breakfast years ago when my dear, dear friend made me read Philippians 4:8 out loud (“what ever is true, lovely, right, admirable, excellent, praiseworthy …”)—and then she asked me, “Tara, when you think about yourself, isn’t it true that you only see what is false, ugly, wrong, worthy of disdain, horrible, worthy of rejection and scorn?” Yes, it was true. She said, “You know, I’d encourage you to beat yourself up constantly if that were biblical, if that were Christian, pleasing to God, edifying to your soul—but it’s not!“

Of course she was right too.

What got me thinking about all of this was a sweet, encouraging, refreshing email I received from a friend this morning. I had apologized to her recently for (yet another) social gaffe I had made, and she responded with gentle acceptance and true love. She counseled me to not be too hard on myself. She gave me grace.

It was so wonderful! I felt like I could wrap myself up in the safety of her friendship.

Love that covers over a multitude of sins is pure grace. How I pray that I will preach and live out the gospel of grace to myself as well as to others each and every day.

‘Although I am less than the worst of all God’s people, this grace was given me …’ Ephesians 3:8