Tempted to Morbid Introspection — But INSTEAD …

This morning when I woke up, my first thoughts were DARK:

1. I kept thinking of the mean words that an atheist wrote in a comment to our little “Books of the Bible” video:

I felt badly for him (what kind of person trolls around YouTube looking for Christian videos just so he can write mean words?). Plus, just the thought of how MEAN people can be on the internet (anonymous blog comments, flamingly rude emails meant only to attack and tear down) really got me down.

(Oh, and I deleted and banned the guy–so don’t look for his comment on the link above. I do the same thing when people use really bad language in our (relatively famous) Choza video.)

2. Thinking about people who are thusly extremely unkind got me thinking about the mini-wave of calls / in-person chats / blog comments / FB comments / emails that I seemed to attract this week which, even in their “didn’t mean to be hurtful” way were, well, challenging. Some were overt attacks. Most were simply normal life conversations that (even gently) pointed out areas of weakness, immaturity, even sin in me. Whatever the case, I saw (yet again) how far I have to go in this journey of sanctification and my focus began to be more and more on ME and so …

3. All I REALLY wanted to just PULL THE COVERS UP OVER MY HEAD and NEVER come out and engage with life (especially PEOPLE) ever again.

Altogether now … can you say MORBID INTROSPECTION? Because THAT was the word that was RINGING in my ears as I wallowed in the MUCK of my first thoughts this morning.

So what did I do? I prayed. I thanked God for being God and I asked Him to forgive my morbid introspection and proud self-focus. Then I asked for His help to change.

And guess what? Although I surely didn’t FEEL all that different after I prayed, God was SO gracious to help me to take two steps of simple obedience that DID help:

1. I actually got on our elliptical trainer and worked out for 45 minutes. You know. Once a year whether I need it or not. 😉

2. I listened to the first lecture of Dr. Dan Doriani’s “Life and Teachings of Jesus” and WOW WOW WOW! What a JOY that was!! It was like being in Dr. Paul Jensen’s class again. It was SO edifying and interesting. (And, by the way, if you have a college-aged child or friend, especially if they are going to secular schools for undergrad and/or grad school–like I did–lectures like this are, I believe, REQUIRED to help them to prepare for the onslaught of, well, rude atheists who will attack every single thing they have ever been taught about Jesus, the Bible, etc. Not that all atheists are rude! But many are; and many are in academia; and if you’re not prepared–or if you don’t have a strategically placed BRILLIANT friend like I had in Dr. Jensen during those formative years–I would assume that it would be very easy to be led astray.)

So there you have it …

From faithlessness and morbid self-introspection to a teeny tiny step of faithful obedience. All by God’s grace. All for His glory alone.

I’m so grateful that I’m not still in bed hiding under the covers.

There is grace for the day, friends! But if we focus on ourselves, our circumstances, or other people we will only ever despair.

May God help us all! (He does! He really does.)

Off to church now–
Sunday! The best day of the week.

With love,
Tara B.