The Myth of Chronic Uniqueness

After listening to me end a retreat session with something I say at almost every event, a professional counselor came up to me and taught me a new term: chronic uniqueness.

You see, when I teach on how the Gospel of Jesus Christ applies to broken relationships, struggles with perfectionism and control, living for people’s approval, God’s bitter providence, idolatry of food, self-condemnation, shame, fear, depression, etc. etc. etc., I almost always hear some variation of the same theme:

“Tara, I could totally relate to what you were talking about. I am just like you! But there is no one here (i.e., in my church, in my women’s ministry) who understands what I am feeling. And if I ever tried to tell them the truth, I know that they would reject me because they could never relate. They’re all so “together” and “perfect” — not messed up like me. I’m just so lonely and I’m the only one.”

“I’m the only one.” = The myth of chronic uniqueness.

But you know what? I never hear that from only one person. In that very room there are precious women, struggling with sin and unbelief, battling alone–because they have bought into the myth of being chronically unique in their struggles, failures, weaknesses, ugliness, wretchedness, and sin.

Instead of opening our hearts and lives to one another and praying for one another, and loving one another, we buy the lie that “we are the only one.”

Friends, it’s simply not true!

We are a mess, to be sure. But we are not alone. We are all a mess. We are! That’s why we need a Savior.

We really, truly, can never fully get our acts together. Even if we dust every day, intercede for hours on our knees, run a Fortune 500 company, memorize the Cathecism with our five year old, win marathons, play violin duets with our husband, lead thousands to the Lord every year, get straight A’s in grad school … whatever! We are still a mess.

We are beautiful. And imperfect.
We are lovely. And flawed.

And in our struggles with temptation, unbelief, sin, satan … we are not created to be alone.

How I pray that we will reject the myth of being chronically unique! And we will run together to the One Who is Unique–Our Savior, Redeemer, the Lord of Glory, the Lamb Who Was Slain.

Ahhh — the fellowship of the motley Body of Christ. Thank You, God, that you have not left us abandoned as orphans. Thank you for adopting us as your own and putting us in the family of God–the Church.

‘On those parts of the body that we think less honorable we bestow the greater honor.’ 1 Corinthians 12:23