Trying Not to Panic

We got a letter in the mail today and I’m trying so hard not to panic.

It’s from the city of Billings and, apparently, we need to tear up the sidewalk in front of our house and put in a new sidewalk–or else the city is going to do it and charge us $2,000 (!!).

This is stressful to me in so many ways …

2009 is already a year of less income and additional expenses for us. Our budget is thinner than it’s been since grad school.

Soph’s illness started in November, so we have huge medical bills from November and December–and THEN (right after meeting our deductibles for the year) we start over again with brand-new, huge medical bills from January. This pretty much wipes out our savings.

In addition to the cost for the sidewalk, the city says they are going to tear down one of our GORGEOUS old trees! We LOVE our old trees. They really give our old neighborhood character. I don’t want to lose our tree!

Plus, I seriously don’t know where we’re going to come up with $2,000.

And yet … and yet …

I know that our financial needs, while scary to me, are nothing compared to what some families are experiencing.

I know that we are not alone–we have a loving and supportive church and generous deacons who will give us good counsel, help as needed, and (hopefully!) the loan of a jackhammer and skilled labor to help too.

So, I’m trying not to panic. Really. I’m trying to respond with faith and remember all of the COUNTLESS ways God has amazingly provided for us in the past. How it’s “just money” and “just stuff.” God is sovereign. We’re going to be OK, etc. etc.

It is true though, isn’t it, how much these kind of things reveal our hearts and just how quick we are to doubt and worry and (for me at least), freak out?

I’m asking God to forgive my lack of faith and help me to respond as a woman who remembers Truth (rather than a woman controlled by her emotions).

Still … ERGH! What a bummer of a letter to receive, eh? ERGH ERGH ERGH!!

(Can you tell I’m still in the battle? Faith’s fight against sin. Moment by moment. May God help me!)

I’m looking forward to church tomorrow–

G’nite from your friend,
Tara B.