Trying to catch my “button” BEFORE it’s a button

One of my “buttons” in life …

(You know, the kind of thing that really TICKS ME OFF and brings out some definitely UNATTRACTIVE, totally NOT-GOD-HONORING, absolutely 100% areas in NEED OF FURTHER SANCTIFICATION in me …)

… is when I am working, working, working, working, WORKING like a mad woman and then either:

1. I realize that there is NO WAY I’m going to get everything done; and/or

2. Something happens to disrupt my crazy-freaking-out-busy-accomplishing-so-much Tara-To-Do-ness. (You know, like a husband not reading my mind and not doing something “just so.” A daughter needing, oh, I don’t know … food, water, love, attention.)

Well … having JUST proofed the “final cut” of the Q&A session of my little DVD project (wherein one of the questions was, “What are some of your buttons?” And a follow-up question asked, “And how do you AVOID responding like that?” To which I (HONESTLY) replied, “Ummmm. Well. Yeah. Well … I can’t say that I’m very good at avoiding my sinful/ugly response because USUALLY I don’t recognize the button. If I recognized what was going on, I’d at least have a FIGHTING chance of responding in a faith-filled, gracious, loving, godly, (NOT so sinfully!) manner. But usually, I just REACT. And SPLAT! Out comes my sin. But of course I know that God is growing me.”

Well, well … with my own words ringing in my ears and (sort of creepily) convicting me …

When I was TEMPTED to be JUST AWFUL TARA as I was tackling huge projects yesterday, I instead DID try to recognize my propensity to be a jerk and, instead, respond differently.

I’d have to say on a scale of 1 to 10 of jerkdomness, I was probably still a 7.5 or 8. But I do think I had MOMENTS of maturity. GLIMPSES of growth in grace.

Even just recognizing the battle was a grace, right?
But oh! How desperate I am for forgiveness too.

I am so grateful for the grace I receive from God every moment of my life AND the grace I receive from my husband and daughter every single day too.

Hope you’re breathing in some grace today!

Sending you my love,
Tara B.