Using Titles When Introduced

One of the many things I am grateful for re: my childhood is that my parents taught me to stand when introduced to someone; to look them in the eye and repeat their name back. (“It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Jones.”)

They also taught me that adults should be referred to by title, unless they invited me to use their first names (my godmother was “Anne”—one of the very first adults I ever called by their first name) or by a nickname (“Auntie Dianne”).

I try to continue this teaching with my girls, especially as regards adults with titles: Dr., Professor, Pastor, Congressman. Yes. That’s actually the reason for this post. I noticed that our congressman, Denny Rehberg, was inches away from me Saturday night at the performance of “The Little Mermaid” and I wondered if I would have a chance to say hello. (He is very friendly and we often bump into each other on Delta flights.) I would never chit-chat with him (poor man), but I would give him a friendly hello and I would address him as Congressman Rehberg. I emphasize this because I was amazed at how many people just casually referred to him as “Denny.” In a way, that’s great. Folksy. Small town. Very Montana. But in another way, I think that there is something very good about acknowledging the office that governmental officials hold. Madam Justice. Mr. Mayor. The Honorable …

Do I always agree with the positions these people hold? Of course not. Do I pray, give, discuss, and vote? You bet. But I also try to honor the office.

We teach our children about God’s authority, and the family, and the church, and the state. We would address formal letters in the appropriate way if we were writing them. I hope we demonstrate respect for all of these authority structures in our conversations and in our personal introductions too.